Tuesday’s TPS Report: Taneah Modern Georgette Blouse
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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Sales of note for 1/31/25:
- Ann Taylor – Suiting Event – 30% off suiting + 30% off tops
- Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20 off your $100+ purchase
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off winter layers
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off sweaters and pants
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – End of season clearance, extra 70% off markdown tops + extra 60% off all other markdowns
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
Does anyone have experience with the Halogen Lightweight V-neck Cardigan? It’s currently $50 in the anniversary sale, and since I need new cardigans and have been striking out everywhere else, was thinking of giving it a try. The reviews are good, but does it wear well over time? Thank you!
Are you talking about the merino wool one? I bought the botanical green one and really like it. Not sure how it will wear over time and I do expect some pilling which can be easily remedied by a sweater comb.
That is the one I was considering, and specifically that color – thanks! I’ll give it a try.
I did not find these to be particularly lightweight and ended up giving the 2 I bought away. I recently got 2 lightweight v-neck cardigans from Lands End (for $38 each or so) and really, really love them.
I would say they are light weight compared to other wool/cashmere sweaters I own but quite warm.
Thanks, both of you. My office is often set to “arctic” so I don’t necessarily need them to be super lightweight, so I will perhaps give them a try.
I loved mine until I washed them. I think they say dry clean only so that was my fault. They shrunk up super little and are no longer wearable so beware.
This is not what I’d expect from Theory. It looks like some sort of nursing shirt and would me look like a box. I don’t think it would work tucked in, either.
Yay! I agree with Anon. It look’s like a smock! Rosa still has a shirt like this which she got from a Med student she was dateing year’s ago when she was still in college. She now wear’s it around the house when she is gardening, tho Ed does not like it that she kept it after she MARRIED him!
Super early TJ: Is this dress in evergreen(link to follow) appropriate for a business casual office where men wear chinos or dark jeans and button ups and women wear anything from pencil skirts and blouses to fit and flares to knit pants and sweaters (mostly on the older, more senior women)? I should add that it’s almost knee length on me so shape/hem-wise it would be completely appropriate; I’m just concerned about the lace, but want so badly for it to be appropriate since I like it so much. Thanks!
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/bb-dakota-renley-lace-fit-flare-dress-nordstrom-exclusive/3720475?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=2375500&fashionColor=EVERGREEN&resultback=263
Pretty dress. Not work appropriate.
I’d say no. The back is open through the lace.
Absolutely not! It’s an open back under the lace. This is what you wear out not to work.
Also, the neckline isn’t great for work and the shape is a party dress and it is all over lace. None of this is appropriate.
And it’s stretch lace, so the top is going to be super clingy. Idk why I am so worked up about this but it is zero percent appropriate in my book.
I vote yes. Just wear a nude bra and keep a cardigan or non-formal blazer with you for meetings. I kind of want it now too. It’s not a revealing back and if men wear jeans, I say this is fine.
But here – the haters are gonna hate. An exposed zipper is basically lucite heals somedays.
I don’t think it’s being a hater to say one shouldn’t wear a party dress to work.
And this is definitely a party dress.
Agreed. There is too much about it that reads party: lace, open back lace (!!!), length, and the lace neckline in the front.
IFF it is long enough on you (to the knee!) AND you keep a cardigan or blazer over it at all times to hide the back, then it would be OK, but why risk it?
It is also way too short to be office appropriate, unless the OP is petite. It will also be absurdly short when seated. This is a party dress.
Absolutely not appropriate for work, even in a business casual environment. The back is far too open, and to me, the style and shape are far too “junior” for office wear. If you like it, buy and wear it on weekends.
+1
I think it’s cute but definitely not work appropriate
Adding to the pile – an employee who wore this to my office would likely be sent home.
If it’s really knee length, and you really want to wear it to work, have a tailor add a lining to the bodice.
i agree its not work appropriate, but just because of the combination of everything listed below — lace plus short plus see through back plus fit-n-flare etc. Other than the short factor, most of the rest of those i think you can pull off at work on their own if you do it right — even the see-through or a cut-out back; you have to keep a jacket or cardi on though.
What is wrong with the fit-and-flare silhouette? Not every woman looks great in a sheath dress.
I don’t think anon-oh-no is saying there is anything wrong with a fit n’ flare silhouette on its own, but that in combination with the other factors, it adds up to not-for-work.
A fit n’ flare silhouette in a crisp wool suiting fabric or a beautiful patterned silk would be very different from the OP’s featured dress, and totally work appropriate.
nothing. i love fit-n-flare and wear it to work all the time. i was just saying that combined with the other things, it reads more party than work
The lace + see through back makes this an absolute no in my book even if your office was casual-casual. Unless you’re a restaurant hostess or bartender or similar hospitality job, this dress is weekend-only. And honestly, a lot of people in your office are going to think it’s not even weekend appropriate unless you spend all of your weekends at clubs in Vegas/South Beach, so it’s definitely not something you can attempt to sneak in wearing on a Friday.
Whether or not my coworkers approve of my weekend wear never crosses my mind. You get me during the week, stay out of my nights and weekends.
No one is saying co-workers get to approve of weekend wear. The point was that some of the old biddies (OP mentions a lot of the women are older) are going to pearl clutch at this outfit period. If they don’t think it’s appropriate to wear out in public at all, they certainly aren’t going to find it office appropriate. OP should still rock it on the weekends.
It is work inappropriate because the style is a party dress. Full stop. Would you wear sequins and satin? No? Don’t wear this. Buy it to wear to a friend’s wedding (I actually almost did but got something else instead). It’s a great bridesmaid or wedding guest dress.
Thanks, all. I knew deep down that it isn’t really appropriate (I didn’t realize the back was sheer though! That’s definitely a no for work.), but I really do like it and was trying to delude myself into thinking I’d be able to wear more than the likely once a month to weekend events. Thanks for talking me down from this ledge.
You’re taking this pile-on with a lot of grace. Good for you!
While I agree that the linked dress is too much of a party dress for the office, I do think that a lace fit and flare can be completely appropriate for the office. This one is:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/halogen-lace-fit-flare-dress-regular-petite/3946010?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Teal+Ocean&resultback=3951
I disagree. All-over lace reads party, not work.
I agree with Anon. The Halogen dress is equally work-inappropriate. All-over lace is not business attire.
i would totally wear this to the office, with a blazer. i’m a biglaw partner, for reference, although sometimes that lets me get away with more, as i generally wear whatever i want. i wouldnt wear it to court though.
I think this one is borderline — know your office, and possibly OK with a solid and sedate blazer that you kept on all day.
I wouldnt say completely appropriate- this one is “OK” maybe but its a stretch
On another note, is the following dress appropriate for work? I have the plain black one and I’m wearing it today with a purple cardigan. I think it’s okay but I feel kind of overly fancy. It comes to my knees, not nearly as short as on the model.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/halogen-pleated-fit-flare-dress-regular-petite/4134684?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Purple-+Tan+Grid+Print&resultback=1576
As far as neckline, silhou*tt*, etc it looks fine – if the fabric is flimsy it leans slightly more evening/party, and it’s not as firmly in the “appropriate” camp as, say, three-season wool, but it’s nothing I’d clutch my pearls over.
I think this is lovely and perfectly appropriate given your length description.
I will say that I have this dress. I bought it for a very informal wedding where I was told to wear something summery and in a certain color. At 35, I worried if it was too youthful for me, and secretly suspect that it walked the line. I will also say that at 5’4″, I still felt like it was a bit short on me. The back is very sheer (though with lace), and I worried that it was a little risque for the wedding. Would definitely not consider wearing it to work and I work in a very informal office.
Wondering if any of you had thoughts on GW’s decision not to require applicants to take the SAT/ACT anymore: http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/07/27/george-washington-university-applicants-no-longer-need-to-take-admissions-tests/. Personally, I’m pleasantly surprised both by the University’s decision (it’s my alma matter but I have strongly disagreed with many of its administrative decisions in the past) and people’s reaction – I’m seeing generally universal support. In light of that surprising reaction, I’m wondering why more places are not dropping the requirement. It seems to me like the admissions tests only reward those that study to the test vs. those that are generally smart or prepared for college. Any thoughts? Defenders of the tests?
The test is also a way for very intelligent students who attend bad schools and have limited support to demonstrate their ability.
And, they are a way for Asian students to prove, over and over again, that they face massive discrimination from elite schools. It’s not up for debate that Asian students are required to have higher test scores and GPAs than white students. Effectively, rich white kids are benefiting from a giant hush-hush affirmative action policy. Eliminating objective measures and focusing on a wholistic analysis makes this discrimination easier for the university.
Just a couple pros of testing. Also I never get the “omg I’m totes smart I just suck at test taking”. Um what? It’s a skill. Learn it. Also, the SAT isn’t hard. You don’t need to study to the test to do well on it. There isn’t some mythic population of really smart well prepared students who just can’t manage a pretty basic reading, writing, and arithmetic test.
“The test is also a way for very intelligent students who attend bad schools and have limited support to demonstrate their ability.”
I went to a suburban high school that is appallingly ranked #1 in the state year after year, despite offering no AP classes and churning out 10-20% of the class as “valedictorians” (4.0 max GPA, no weighted classes, incredibly easy to get a 4.0). Standardized tests were the only way for the large in-state schools to separate the dozens of valedictorians for full-tuition scholarship purposes, because they don’t have the luxury of detailed holistic reviews when they’re admitting 15,000 students a year.
I agree re: the mythic population, but I do think the entire test-prep industry is massively unfair and also benefits the same rich white kids whose parents can afford to pay $200 an hour for SAT prep. (Maybe the answer is every admissions system benefits rich white kids and we should either just accept that rich white people come out on top, or advocate for more affirmative action.)
I think that there’s a spectrum. A basic high school student can get very much ahead by focusing on the prep and buying a book or getting one from the library. But they hear SAT, SAT, SAT and the parents repeat it (even if they’ve never taken it themselves). But at a very bad high school, no one cares about things that aren’t on fire (fights, pregnancy, arrests) and those kids really get lost (so even a non-great score is still an accomplishment, but pushing someone to do it doesn’t happen in the background and everyone else is too busy / may not know to push it).
A 1%er is indifferent, but a 50% might have a shot at a scholarship with a good SAT score but won’t if they just send in grades. Maybe the same thing with a 25%er.
I guess we should go to a lottery and admit that it’s a game of chance (except that all of the other unfair stuff remains in the process).
Your point about demonstrating ability could theoretically be correct, but I think the point of many of the articles I’ve read is that students who attend bad schools rarely do well on the tests even if they have innate ability.
I don’t think your point about Asian students is at all relevant though – that’s a separate debate. The new quantitative measure will just shift to GPA instead of test scores – the debate about whether it would have to be higher for Asians would still be there.
I disagree that it’s a separate debate. For decades, the “holistic” assessment was used to keep Jews out of the Ivy League because they didn’t display the right “character” or “background” required for admission. That same holistic approach can be (and, I’m sure, currently is) used to keep the number of Asian students down at certain schools.
Exactly.
But every school already has a “holistic” assessment – there are very few that accept students based on GPA + test scores alone. Hence the reason why there’s currently a debate about discrimination against Asians in admissions. Ceasing to consider test scores would take out one quantitative factor, sure, but I’m not sure that’s going to radically change the current debate about holistic admissions.
But the holistic approach also lets in those that may be otherwise a fantastic addition to the student body, and numbers are not the only predictors of success in school.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/education/edlife/stress-social-media-and-suicide-on-campus.html One of the comments on this article hit the nail on the head for me.
The commenter wrote:
I interview and I can tell you these schools are not accepting the most creative or the most joyful or even the highest IQ students. They are accepting the children of Tiger parents, whose kids don’t have one moment of peace in their entire 18 years of grooming. These kids are smart and work very hard, but they will not be future leaders, no matter how many clubs they are elected president of, and how many tennis championships they win. Leaders would not allow others to direct their entire lives.
I thought the idea was that they use GPA/SAT to screen and then do the holistic assessment in some sort of ranked order (otherwise there would just be too much work for the admission staff to do anything but a very cursory review)?
[I am cynically thinking of homeschooling for high school in the event that this becomes a trend, just b/c you might really be able to game this system.]
Yes, most schools already do a holistic review. Whether, when, and where they use quantitative measures like GPA and SAT/ACT scores vary by institution. It’s challenging to use GPAs, in particular, as an initial screen or hard cutoff because schools use different measures–4- or 5-point scales, weighted or unweighted, weighting the same grades differently (for example, the high school I worked at didn’t weight a B-, B, and B+ differently for GPA calculations), using totally different scales (not uncommon in private schools, and if I’m remembering correctly, New York State is on a 100-point scale?). I mean, sure, my highly selective state school alma mater would probably toss out someone with a 2.9 regardless (unless they were an athlete I guess, which is a whole other thing) but the differences between someone with a 3.9 at the school I worked at, vs. someone with a 3.9 at the high school I graduated from, would require an admissions counselor to dig in a little more.
Just to weigh in on the ability of the SAT/ACT to help “very intelligent students who attend bad schools and have limited support…demonstrate their ability”–this is demonstrably false in almost all cases. I don’t have time to pull together relevant articles, but a cursory google or academic journal search should suffice. I worked in college access counseling at one of the aforesaid bad schools, and the anecdata support the research.
Standardized tests are also a way to figure out where someone is working compared to his or her ability. Bad grades but great test scores? Not a hard worker. Great grades but bad test scores? Maybe she’s not as smart as those grades suggest.
Or more realistically, what kind of institution and family background a student comes from.
Agreed, I don’t think standardized tests are the bellwether people are making them out to be here.
I think it’s going to make college that much more like a lottery or incredibly subjective. How do you weight a 4.0 at one high school from a 3.9 at another (esp for places like GW that get many more people applying than they have slots for)? Then it comes down to things like letters of reference, activities (so one person working at Food Lion after school — how does that compare to someone who writes the essay about how she volunteered at a safari park in Kenya?), etc.
Call me a cynic, but I see it as something that will make it harder for average kids applying to good schools to standout and something that will inure very much to higher-income kids and kids at private schools who can put the time and $ into tailoring a good application.
I have a mentee who would be a first-time college attendee in her family and she could do the work at any highly selective college. I will keep encouraging her to take the SAT b/c I think admissions officers may discount high grades at schools that don’t seem very good and where there may be no AP classes, etc. How will they know how good she is without some sort of norming number?
And it makes it less obvious that schools like GW favor students who don’t need financial aid.
Exactly. And not only that, but if you are used to private schools, you are used to not only paying tuition, but writing annual fund checks, capital campaign checks, etc. To h*ck with paying tuition, a school might say, let’s just let in the big donors.
Well, I went to a middle-class suburban school (not ranked anywhere top in my state), took the SAT exactly once, and my studying cost $0 but took a lot of time (i.e. I went over my PSAT, figured out what I did wrong, and spent a year circling and looking up every vocabulary word in every book I read, writing it down with a page number, and reviewing the list). It paid off – with scores that were annoying close to a 1600.
The SAT *can* be gamed, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t test something meaningful – nor does it mean that students can’t use tools at their disposal to do better on it. Also, schools – especially the elite ones – know that students can game the SAT and adjust accordingly: students from limited means who take the test once aren’t judged by the same standards as kids who go to Choate or Sidwell Friends. Likewise, schools don’t much care if you got a 1400 or a 1470 – they care that you got a score that is what would be expected from your grades, school, and socioeconomic background. Many schools – even the very elite ones – basically use a cut-off system (e.g. they just want over 600 on each section); their super-high SAT medians are more the result of correlation than looking for the super-high scorers.
I know a bit too much about college admissions, and the gap between what people *think* goes on and what actually happens is… kind of enormous.
I will also say that for some course tracks – e.g. engineering – the SAT is important because it tests the reasoning abilities needed for success. If you can’t ace the SAT math (which tests up through algebra II), then it’s really not likely that you’ll be able to hack differential equations.
We’re planning to have just a private wedding wth the two of us, but some of my friends have expressed an interest in celebrating with us. We would love that, but there are several logistical problems. First, people are more or less scattered across the country, and we would be having a small, casual get together. I don’t want people to feel like I expect them to travel. The second is timing. we’re getting married at the beginning of September, and probably have a November-December window for a party and then again starting in July – August of next year. I don’t want to run into holiday travels, and next year is a LOT easier logistically, but it seems like maybe a ridiculously long time after. Also, how much advanced notice for this kind of thing is required? I figured no less than 3 months, since most will have to travel?
Is there a way to make this work, or do we just not have a party? That’s okay with me too, although I think it could be a lot of fun.
Just do it on a random weekend in October or November. Send invites NOW and then some people should be able to come.
Eh, I kinda hate the idea of expecting people to fly in for a party? Just get married the two of you. Or, if you think a casual party with your friends and family sounds fun, do that. And hire an officiant and get married there.
Yeah, this is among my major reservations too. I definitely don’t expect it and wouldn’t want people to feel like I’d be upset that I didn’t come. But I would be inviting them, so that’s weird. I’ve had a few people show a lot of interest in coming to whatever/wherever we do, so I don’t want people I care about to feel like I cut them out of an important part of something. That said, probably no one cares that much?
For me, if you were doing a thing, I’d want to come because I love you, but then why don’t you care about me seeing you get married? You are cutting them out of an important part- the part where they witness you getting married. And that’s totally fine! And some people will make a point of taking you out to dinner, or coming for a visit, and others won’t.
okay, so I invite anyway and let people who don’t want to come not come instead of fearing that I’ll offend someone?
I mean, if you’re doing it, absolutely invite everyone who you would like to come! Inviting someone to a party isn’t offensive.
Personally, I’d still be annoyed that you want me to come and celebrate you, but you don’t care to have me there for the important part. But the invitation alone isn’t offensive. I’ll just prob say no.
Would you be less annoyed if I just didn’t have a celebration at all and just sent you an email being like “hey, I got married!”? Because I could just as easily do that. I have a slight preference for a party but could easily skip it.
For my closest friends, I’d be happy to travel only to celebrate their marriage at a casual party if that’s what they’ve decided to do. For other people, I wouldn’t. So be up front about what people are being invited to – a casual party not a wedding – and let people decide for themselves! If it were me, I’d skip inviting people I know wouldn’t approve and would only attend to complain if they attended at all, but I think it’s fine to invite everyone you’d like to attend while making it very clear that you’re cool with people opting out.
If we are close, and you’re getting married, I want to be there. If that doesn’t work for you, I want you to call me overjoyed to share the news that you just couldn’t wait and got married! Or, I want you to call and say that you’re planning a private ceremony because reasons and you wanted to give me a heads up.
Even if you are my close friend, you don’t owe me anything. I wouldn’t be annoyed at an invite to any celebration, whether it’s one for your wedding post ceremony, one for the publishing of your first article, or one for you managing to finally make that vase you keep breaking off in glass-blowing class. Tell everyone you want to invite them to celebrate your union and you’re having a fun, casual party to mark the occasion. Invite whoever you want. Do give them fair enough warning so that if they want to travel they can. Then let those who want to be annoyed that you have asked them to join you for some fun but not quite the exact fun they wanted to participate in decide what they want to do.
CountC nailed it.
I think if you’re upfront with everyone that it’s going to be a very casual get-together (and then keep everything around the party casual – no printed invitations, a very clear message that gifts aren’t expected, etc.) then this is fine. People who want to travel for a casual get-together will do so.
Also, there is a way to do this: when you send the invite, call or email or include a note that basically says, We would love it if you came, but I know you live far/this is a busy time of year and I do not expect you to travel for this.
You could also just celebrate informally in smaller groups as time/scheduling permits. There’s no requirement to have one event.
Agree with this. It sounds like the invite list would be small, so you should be able to get in touch with people and just tell them what AIMS says.
Cosign to this–“We’d love to celebrate with you if you’d like to come and we hope we can show you a good time, but we’re not in any way *expecting* you to make the trip,” is a lot easier to convey with a personal note/call/e-mail than through the grapevine or with a plain invite which, I think, people often (and often incorrectly) take as a summons.
+1
Why not have the private wedding and then have a first anniversary party in late August next year?
I had friends that had (fairly casual) parties in somewhere between three and five cities after they had a private wedding. No, everyone was not together, but it turned the celebration into a year-long junket.
This may be dumb, but if you want to celebrate with your friends and they want to celebrate with you, why not have a small casual wedding?
Yeah that’s what I don’t get.
I think the idea of sharing your marriage vows with only each other is quite special. It sounds like OP was willing to make the trade-off of not having friends at her wedding in order to have that private moment, but friends are now asking if they can celebrate with her. I hope OP still has the private moment she wants, regardless of pressure from others.
Well for me personally, I just wanted my wedding to be private and with my husband. We were making the most serious commitment to each other and it just didn’t feel right to either of us to have anyone else watch us do that other than the officiant. So we eloped. But we planned a small-ish dinner party for later in the year to celebrate. We said no gifts, but lots of people surprised us with them (& also right after we got married too), which was a surprise and by no means expected or any part of the reason why we had a party later. We love our family and friends and wanted to share the occasion but not the wedding itself. These things are different for everyone and really quite personal.
This s our sentiment as well. Plus there would have been family members we’d be obliged to invite that would have made everyone miserable, not just us. And for those of you who say that everyone has this problem (which I’m sure is true). He has many obnoxiously vocal racist family members who act out a lot (especially on occasions and in big groups) and my family isn’t white, and many of my friends aren’t “acceptable” either. I’d like to spare everyone (and myself) of such an unpleasant experience, and I wouldn’t just be able to not invite these people.
Given this, I’d throw a one year anniversary party. Also, if you wanted to have a wedding, you actually can exclude people who act like @$$holes. I’d be willing to bet you’ll get pressure to invite these same people to any sort of celebration, so I’d develop a pat answer now.
Because that’s not actually what they want to do? Why can’t people say their vows/enter into their union in the way they want to!?!?! It’s not about anyone else. The people who are not participating in the actual marriage can decide what they want to do whenever/if they are presented with the opportunity to do something. If you don’t like what your friends are doing, oh well. If you want to be butt-hurt about not being invited to the ceremony that two people have decided they want to keep private because that’s how they want it to be that’s on you, not on them.
Here’s my dark secret: I snore. Like a lot. Like my husband has to go sleep in another room pretty often. I hate it. It’s embarrassing. It keeps me from going on girls’ weekends.
I finally decided that I’m going to go see someone about it, but I’m not sure if I would want to go the CPAP (or whatever it’s called) route. Does anybody have any opinions? It’s not like it would make me go on those weekends because I still wouldn’t want to wear that around friends. Is that all they do anymore? Isn’t there some little procedure they could do? Or any other treatments?
I would appreciate any thoughts on this – good, bad, different options, experiences, etc.
My husband uses Silent Snooz clips by Incredible Scents. They work very well.
http://www.incrediblescents.com
I don’t have this issue, but DH and my mom do.
The CPAP has been AMAZING for my marriage. Amazing. Like your husband, I was often sleeping in a different room from him (which made me very sad, but was necessary for me to be a functional human).
He had to have a sleep study, and there was a brief breaking-in period for the CPAP, but otherwise, things have been great. There are lots of options as far as the mouth/nose pieces now, and the machines are getting smaller and smaller. My husband’s is much smaller than my mom’s, as it is newer.
The other unexpected thing both of them found is that they both sleep so much better now. My mom used to need longer sleep periods, and H used to take naps a lot. Now they’re able to sleep more deeply because they are not going through micro-wakefulness periods, and have both noticed that they feel more rested without more sleep.
Just go to the doctor. The one with years of experience and training. Listen. Think. Decide. If your husband can’t sleep in his bed because of the snoring, and the doctor recommends a CPAP, I think you at least owe it to him to try. And just tell your GFs “hey, I snore real loud so I booked my own hotel room.” You snore. It’s not syphillis or anything.
+1
I snore. It’s an involuntary thing. It’s not like you’re picking your nose in public or scratching your lady bits or something else that you have control over. You literally can’t control if you’re snoring (unless you get a CPAP or another aid).
I decided I could be embarrassed about something I couldn’t control, or I could just laugh at it (and not get mad when my SO sleeps in another room).
I have severe sleep apnea but I didn’t really snore much, I just stopped breathing. I wear a CPAP at night. It’s not sexy but my husband would rather I live through my 30’s so I wear it. Once I realized how much better I feel using it (as in I for the first time in my life was getting REM sleep) I wouldn’t go without it. I can’t even nap on the couch without it now because I will actually feel myself stop breathing and startle awake. It can be embarrassing when I’m sharing a room with friends but it doesn’t make any noise (well, just a tad of moving air but a fan drowns that out). Mostly, people are just curious about it. You could still go on those weekends and just get your own room if you really care but I swear, as you get used to it, you will love it so much you will want to tell the world about it.
There are some alternatives. There is a surgical alternative but it has a lot of risks and it isn’t 100% effective. CPAP is generally 100% effective if you can be compliant with it. I went to hypnosis before so I would be more accepting of wearing it in my sleep and not take it off in my sleep. My dentist claims to be able to create a mouth piece that would fix the issue but I don’t want to spend a thousand dollars on that gamble. The CPAP is covered by my insurance the mouth piece isn’t.
The CPAP comes w/ its own bag and since it is a medical device, it doesn’t count against your carry on baggage allowance when you travel. The new ones today are also much smaller and lighter than the one I have. You can even get a battery so you can still camp with it or other no electricity activities.
Not all snoring is sleep apnea, however. See a doc. Get a sleep study if it is recommended. Find out how severe yours is (if you have it) and what the risks are of not treating it. Then you can make an informed decision if you want to try it out or not. You might find out you have something totally different like sinus problems. Let me know if you have other questions.
Agree with all of this.
See your doctor. If it sounds like you might have sleep apnea, get a sleep study… especially if you are tired during the day despite getting “enough” sleep or getting morning headaches. If you have sleep apnea it is critical for your health that you treat it with CPAP or you put yourself at risk for strokes and heart attacks and lung disease and many many bad things. The health profession is finally jumping on sleep apnea as a relatively easy to problem that can have devastating consequences long term if it isn’t treated.
Sleep apnea is often missed in women because sometimes we don’t have to classic signs.
But many people dislike the CPAP mask to start with. No doubt. But if you give it time, you get used to it, and it is no big deal. But be very wary of any surgery for sleep apnea. Get multiple opinions.
But you may not have sleep apnea at all. Then no CPAP. Then you see an ENT who gives you other suggestions for your snoring.
One step at a time. But get it checked out.
CPAP is a specific treatment for a specific condition that causes snoring. Snoring can have multiple different causes, so there is no guarantee you’ll need a CPAP.
It may be something solved by surgery, or even those Breathe Right strips to open up your pathway.
And I agree with everyone else – if your doctor says you need one, get one. Snoring conditions that require a CPAP have more at issue than just snoring. It’s life improvement for you as well as everyone else.
I snore a lot too, and literally no-one has said anything about it since I was about 14 and on Girl Scout camps. I usually let people I’m room-sharing with fall asleep first and I’m happy to have books etc thrown at me if I’m annoying people, but by and large when I apologise for it, people tell me not to worry, they can easily sleep through it.
See your doctor and ask about a sleep study. You may not need a CPAP – for example, maybe you have a deviated septum and can get surgery to fix it.
I did a sleep study and so did my husband. For mine, I just wore a wristwatch-like device that tracked my sleep to see how many “incidents” I had during the night (when my airway was constricted, when I woke up). My husband did the in-house sleep test. He now has a CPAP and it’s worked wonders in only a short time.
Find a sleep specialist and ask. You may just need the wristwatch as the test. If your snoring is interfering with your sleep, it’s important to get it fixed. If it’s “just” a snoring issue, the specialist should still be able to help.
They do have mouth positioners (not OTC but prescribed). I believe that they work if you don’t have apnea and don’t need a CPAP. My dentist said she makes them when prescribed by MD. Worth asking about.
This. My DH has a mouth appliance called a Somnomed that corrects his mouth/breathing position so he doesn’t snore (as much).
As others have said, a doctor will figure out the problem and offer appropriate solutions, but for what it’s worth – if it was the recommended solution, a CPAP is not a huge deal. I think maybe they used to be more intrusive/loud/bulky, but my sister has one and when we’ve had to share a bed on vacation or something, it’s not really even something I notice – it’s like a really quiet white noise machine. I wouldn’t worry about taking one on girls weekends, etc.
I had the same problem and it turned out I had hugely inflamed adenoids, which had to be surgically removed (which totally resolved the problem). Might be worth checking out with an ENT!
My significant other has sleep apnea. He had a CPAP before we met and did not like. He now has mouth guards created by a dentist trained in sleep issues. They have stopped the snoring make a big difference for him.
Hi all — I’m currently on maternity leave and am thinking about my return-to-work wardrobe come September. I started a new job while still pregnant and the dress code is a step up from where I was previously, so not only am I dressing for a new shape but I also need to augment my wardrobe with some more polished pieces than I was wearing previously. In addition to this, I’m trying to be mindful of what I purchase — only buy things that I love/will wear, but perhaps have fewer pieces of clothing as a result (so, a semi-capsule wardrobe).
I’m on the hunt for machine-washable, work-appropriate pants in black, navy and grey. Ideally I would get a pair of trouser-style in each color and then a skinnier-cut pair in the navy and black. Because I’m still in post-baby mode, losing weight, body shape is shifting, etc., I don’t want to drop a lot of $$$ on these — less than $50 for sure. Any workhorse pants — preferably ones I can order online — that you’d recommend? Like many postpartum mamas, I’m carrying most of my weight in my belly and hips.
There are some pants in the Talbots sale section that may fit the bill but I’ve never ordered from there. How does the fit at Talbots compare to, say, Lands End?
I would absolutely not buy 5 pairs of cheap machine washable pants to upgrade your wardrobe. That’s not an upgrade and it’s a ton of stuff for a “semi-capsule” wardrobe. I’d buy 1 pair of nice wool pants, prob black trouser cut, and one pair of skinnier navy pants, washable from Ann Taylor.
+1. Why machine washable? Is it concern over baby goo getting all over everything or just not getting to the cleaner? For the first, put on the pants only when you are ready to leave the house. For the second, Dryel!
I do think Talbots fits similar to Lands End but with a bit of a shorter rise.
I’ve had a lot of luck with the express wide waistband editor pants. I have about five pairs in consistent rotation and they hold up great, wash well, and don’t lose their shape throughout the day. I’m a mother as well and the wide waistband does a good job at smoothing over some trouble spots. :) At full price, they’re slightly higher than the price point you mentioned (about $70) but they go on sale frequently. Be warned that the sizing can vary among colors and styles, so it helps to order multiple sizes.
A few months post party isn’t the best time to invest in permanent pieces. Find a few things that fill wardrobe holes and limp along until your body reaches some stable shape. I found my back to work shopping very frustrating because no one sells clothes for a weird post partum shape. Everything looked horrible. Now I have a 2 year old and clothes fit again. Maybe your body rebounds better than mine, but I’d give your body more time.
I think Talbot’s and Land’s End fit similarly. I would recommend buying a couple dresses and less pants – the dresses will fit longer and won’t feel as annoying if you gain or lose weight.
Thanks — I love wearing dresses but I pump for my kids and separates are a must.
Ah, that would make a difference. Can you wear a wrap dress? I have a BR Gemma dress and it’s easy access. I bought it in tall so that it’s just below my knees. I wear a slip underneath, but I can pull it down.
If you are open to it, I’ve found that skirts are much more forgiving of fluctuating weight than pants are.
+1
Second this. I am also postpartum, and my waist/hips keep changing size – so it is very hard to find pants that (a) fit and (b) continue fitting. Skirts are a little more flexible. Also, people always recommend dresses, but I seriously cannot find dresses that are flattering to a little pooch. Wrap dresses are the worst offenders. With a skirt/top combo, you can change how you flatter your figure as your figure changes.
I think Talbots and Lands End are similar in that they are both cut a little more generously. However, I have noticed things are hit or miss with Talbots, so I would either try on in store or make sure you can return. I got a beautiful suit from there. The skirt and jacket fit great and the petite cut was done well. However, I had a pair of pants that I don’t like. They have a couple different cuts though, so you might just need to see what works for you.
The fit at Talbots and Lands End are similar. I have the Signature Tailored Crepe Ankle Pants from Talbots and they are absolute workhorse pants – they’re machine washable, don’t pill, and have slight stretch making them comfortable enough that I wear them at least a few times a week. I bought them back when they were full price and would do it again, but now they’re on sale for $40 per pair!
FWIW, I recently returned to work after maternity leave. About two weeks before returning, a friend and I went a nearby outlet mall, and I found some great items for at the Ann Taylor, Brooks Brothers, and Talbots outlets. If you’re going back to work in September, you may be able to hit some good sales for Labor Day. Of course, the trick is to know what you’re looking for before your trip and stay focused. But this was a good time for in-person shopping – I’m about the same size as I was pre-pregnancy, but my shape is different, and what’s flattering has changed. (I also supplemented the outlet purchases with a Halogen suit from the NAS.)
If you order from Talbots look for the “Signature” fit. The “Heritage” fit is generally tighter in the waist.
The Limited. I bought 4 pairs of their dress pants for early pregnancy and post-partum and I wear them like crazy. I machine wash them and hang them upside down to dry but I bet I could even get away with drying on low heat. I have been shocked at how well they’ve held up and how nice they look.
+1 for the Limited
I got a couple of suits there in that crisis ‘oh no, I got hired for a job where I have to wear suits, but I only own one decent suit and need more clothes RIGHT NOW on a budget’ phase of life. Those have ended up being some of my absolute favorite suits- the bottoms are machine washable, the skirts are lined, everything has held up at least as well, if not better than my Banana/JCrew suiting and I was able to get outfitted for not too much money.
They have wide waistband pants that I think would work nicely post partum, as well as very forgiving, decently cut pencil skirts.
Do they have anything with a decently high waist? I have a long rise to begin with, and right now, 4 months pp, anything even remotely low waisted is not a flattering look. But I only have one pair of pants that fit…
I agree with Anonymous. Banana Republic frequently runs 40% off sales — I’d buy some of their lightweight wool suit pants, which will only be $60 on sale. The Martin fit is pretty great. Since they’re wool, they take a long time to get dirty, so you don’t have to dry clean them that often. Just make sure you hang them in line with the creases and air them out over the back of a chair for 24 hours before putting them back in your closet. If Ann Taylor’s suit pants fit you better, that would also be a good option (wait for a sale though). I don’t think you’d need more than 3 pairs — I’d stick to the black/navy color palette rather than also introducing charcoal. 3 pairs of pants = $180.
If you’re looking to upgrade the formality of your wardrobe, blazers are what make that happen. I’d recommend spending a Saturday morning going to a couple consignment stores that have a lot of work clothes (you can call ahead to ask) and looking for blazers to wear with your new slacks. If you’re wearing a blazer every day, I’d suggest 7 blazers total, but you can start out with just a few and then accumulate them as you find them and as your budget allows. 7 blazers at $30 each = $210. You could find them more cheaply at a thrift store but that is generally more of a time commitment.
For tops under blazers, I’d get those off the Banana Republic or Ann Taylor sale rack in the $12-$20 range. Aim for plain, dark colors so people don’t notice if you repeat them. You don’t need button-downs — a collarless top with nice jewelry is perfectly formal. 5 tops at $15 = $75.
Lastly, I’ve noticed that people’s perception of “polish” is not so much clothes as it is grooming. By grooming, I mean, is your hair styled, do you wear makeup, and do you wear nice-looking jewelry. Styled hair is often the result of finding a stylist who can help you with a style that works with your natural hair and doesn’t need much work in the morning (plus training your hair to not need washing every day — dry shampoo is your friend). If you have long hair, experiment with a couple updos (CapHillStyle has some great tutorials) like the Gibson Roll that only take a couple minutes in the morning. Makeup doesn’t have to take long — light foundation/tinted moisturizer to even out your skin, eyeliner, mascara, and blush takes a total of 5 min to put on. And then a couple pairs of earrings, a couple understated necklaces, and a watch is all that it takes. None of that has to be expensive, but I would stick to styles that *look* expensive rather than cheap-looking statement necklaces.
In summary, if you wear dark neutral clothing that is reasonably formal and fits you well, your hair is styled, and you wear a little makeup and some jewelry, you’ll feel polished without having to actually spend lots of time or money.
Right now as part of the anniversary sale at Nordstroms there’s a Vince Camuto straight leg pant in black and grey that I love (I get a pair every year). Polyester so machine washable but don’t over-wash as fabric will pill over time. The cut is a bit generous and they’re highly recommended. Price is right around $50.
If you need nice transition pants, may I recommend the Gap perfect trouser? Cheap, machine washable, and fairly decent looking.
http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=988919002&vid=1&locale=en_US&kwid=1&sem=false&sdkw=perfect-trouser-pants-P988919&sdReferer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gap.com%2Fproducts%2Fwomens-pants-sale.jsp
+1! Or the Modern Boot if that fits you better. Gap has 30%-40% off codes frequently.
Re-post from yesterday since I had no responses (maybe there’s no one with this experience). I’ll try one more time! I was wondering if any of you with a law degree work in corporate compliance or know someone who does? I am considering a career switch and wonder how different that would be versus an in-house position. Curious about the pros/cons/hours/pay compared to in-house or law firm. TIA
I don’t do compliance, but I work closely with them. At my company, they are all lawyers, but are not classified as lawyers, so their pay scale moves differently, but it is comparable. The company does not pay their licensing fees anymore.
They are also still under the GC and on the same floor as the rest of the lawyers, so at my company, they are basically a department of legal. But, I also think the answer will vary from company to company, so you’ll have to ask questions during the interview.
From my experience w/ health care agencies it is a mix on how they handle legal versus compliance. Some have on person with both titles. Others split it where the compliance person is not a lawyer.
my husband is in compliance, but it’s treated as an in-house legal role (and paid within market for our region). He has a pretty typical in-house schedule I think – at work about 8:30-5:30, occasional emails evenings/weekends.
I’m a lawyer who has spent an entire career in financial services compliance. I started as an analyst at a Broker/Dealer when jobs were scarce after I graduated. Now I am the compliance director at a hedge fund. I would say the hours are more in-house like than big firm. The compensation is less, especially at the lower levels, but not a great deal where I am now. I really like it. The company pays for my bar dues but I maintain my license in an inactive status. I’m in CA so this is not an issue. I’ve switched back and forth and all you have to do is pay more dues and complete your CLE which is tolled while you are inactive. The purpose of this is to maintain the line between compliance and legal departments. It’s been a good fit for me.
What would be a good gift for someone who’s passed the bar? $100 range would be great. Is a gift card to a store where I know she’ll have to buy suits a boring idea?
I think a gift card would be awesome and much appreciated!
A family member gave me a gift card for a massage when I passed the bar, and that was amazing!
best idea. a family friend did this, and as I was broke (no post-bar trip, no graduation gift from spouse, etc.) and starting a new job, it provided two suits (cheaper) that I wore as workhorses my first few years.
Great, thanks for the ideas! :)
Och, I love this blouse.
Total long-shot question: anybody have recommendations for a good place to stay near Blue Hill at Stone Barns? We scored a very late dinner reservation for a Saturday in September, and we’ll be making a weekend out of it so as to avoid the papal takeover of Philadelphia. Unfortunately, it seems like Blue Hill is . . . sort of in the middle of nowhere. I’m on the waiting list at Crabtree’s Kittle House, but it looks as though our next best option is the Tarrytown Marriott, which seems a bit depressing and corporate for a romantic weekend.
Are there any other options within reasonable driving distance of the restaurant that are either a) not giant chains with fluorescent lighting and b) not cluttered, overly-floral B&Bs? Given that dinner itself will be pretty pricey, I’d prefer to keep lodgings under $250 per night. (And even less if we can!)
might be too pricey but you could try the Bedford Post Inn…there’s also a nice hotel across the CT border in Ridgefield called Stonehenge.
there may be a reason you haven’t mentioned this – but have you considered Airbnb?
Have you looked at Tarrytown House Estate? We did Blue Hill and then stayed at Tarrytown House for our anniversary, and it was great.
Paging Bonnie and anyone else who loves the DvF ballerina wrap sweater: it’s on sale in”poppy” at SaksOffFifth, alas size M and L only. FYI.
http://www.saksoff5th.com/ballerina-wrap-sweater/0400086998038.html?scrollTo=508&href=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saksoff5th.com%2Fwomens-apparel-sweaters%3Fprefn1%3Dbrand%26srule%3DNew%2520Arrivals%26prefv1%3DDiane%2520von%2520Furstenberg
I love that sweater, even though I know it wouldn’t look good on me. It’s gorgeous!
Very tempting. I managed to buy it in black at Last Call for under a $100. I can tell that I will get a lot of wear out of it.
planning long weekend in denver for a much needed get a way. since we have a limited time, any suggestions on where to stay (looking at max $110/night), and things to do (into good food, good drink/beer, outdoors activities, music) for two child-free professionals.
Brunch at Lola for sure. Also, if you like mussels and/or Belgian beer, the Cheeky Monk is awesome.
When I first visited Denver, I did a brewery tour downtown that was fantastic. I’d recommend staying at a hotel in Cherry Creek.
Check out Uncle for insanely good ramen – I don’t even like ramen usually but that place is AMAZING.
1. Any recommendations for where to get a yummy dinner in Portland, ME on a Friday night?
2. Any recommendations for a good place to stop for lunch on the way between Portland and NYC?
TIA!
Fishermen’s Grill, Eventide, Miyake, Green Elephant, Street & Co., Hugo’s, Fore Street, many more!
Whereabouts do you want to stop? Are you leaving Portland in the morning, and at what time?
Thanks! We are leaving in the morning both to and from. So something lunch-adjacent.
If leaving on Sunday there may be bad traffic – you could stop at Bob’s Clam Hut in Kittery for v good clams. If you get farther along I would try yelp for when you start getting hungry and look a little ways ahead of you – there are several good places in Sturbridge MA (90/84 intersection) but then northern CT is pretty sparse.
For #1: Dinner in Portland: Sadly, my favorite restaurant ever (Bresca) closed a couple years ago, but here are some options:
For the trendy/fabulous romantic night out that isn’t obscene: Grace- a restaurant in an old church which is amazing architecturally and has excellent food. Google it. Incredible.
For the classic on the water oysters on the half shell dinner: J’s Oyster Bar – it’s an institution. It’s kind of a dive bar with excellent food and a fabulous New England-y atmosphere.
Casual/Relaxed Dinner: Duckfat- Fries fried in Duckfat. ‘Nuff said. More of a paninis/fries place, less romantic, but very delicious.
With Kids: American Flatbread- It’s a chain with a few locations, but a good one. It’s right on the water. Food is artisan pizzas and excellent salads. Simple, good food and you get to see the pizzas cooked. Very kid friendly.
For brunch, I highly HIGHLY recommend Bintliff’s. DELICIOUS. AMAZING. There are not enough adjectives to describe the goodness.
Thank you!
Portland ME is a foody town. What are you looking for and what’s your price range?
Basically something delicious in a nice location, outside if possible with a view of something picturesque. We eat everything but love seafood. Price range would be under $50 per person, ideally.
ETA: Staying about a ten min. walk from the Old Port area at the West End Inn and would like to walk to and from dinner. We’re fine with longer walks though.
Gorgeous area, but just far enough away from some thing to be a bit of a PIA (e.g. Fore Street, Duckfat, Eventide, etc all at least a mile + away). That is near Pai Men Miyake though, which has delicious noodles – no view though. And there’s something next door to it that I can’t remember.
If you feel like hopping in the car for something unique, the Well at Jordan’s Farm is pretty amazing. Dinner at a farm, literally in a farm field. BYO.
Back in town for drinks, I like the Hunt & Alpine Club, and of course Novare Res if you appreciate beer.
On another note, is the following dress appropriate for work? I have the plain black one and I’m wearing it today with a purple cardigan. I think it’s okay but I feel kind of overly fancy. It comes to my knees, not nearly as short as on the model.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/halogen-pleated-fit-flare-dress-regular-petite/4134684?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Purple-+Tan+Grid+Print&resultback=1576
That’s business casual.
Definitely. This dress is really pretty, and I don’t like fit and flare. I’m seriously considering ordering it but worried about the length. If you don’t mind my asking, how tall are you?
I’m 5’9” and it hits at the top of my knee – totally appropriate length. I thought it fit a bit snug for sizing. I’m 5’9″ 136 and the 8 fits perfect. I normally wear a 6 and it was super tight in the waist when I sat down. I guess it depends on your shape. If you have a tiny waist I’d go with your normal size, otherwise size up.