Tuesday’s TPS Report: Painted Cardigan

79 Comments

1. I love Leifsdottir. That’s all.

   Oh, and I want a perfect navy pencil skirt for spring.

   Does anyone have an opinion as to whether the “new” neutral shoes that are showing up everywhere this spring are too trendy to wear with a traditional navy suit?

   1. Ditto the love for Leifsdottir.

      Also, I’ve been eying this pencil skirt at the outnet for awhile–maybe it’s what you’re looking for: http://www.theoutnet.com/product/202125

   2. What is the “new” neutral?

      1. Love the skirt, but alas, sold out in my size.

         Re: Neutral – that was confusing – just the “flesh” colored shoes that I have been seeing everywhere lately. Beige?

         1. I don’t think that’s too trendy at all. In fact, recently saw a Sr. Partner type on trial with “neutral” pumps in patent leather & she looked awesome.

   3. I think the nude shoes with a navy suit is a pretty classic look, assuming you pick a conservative style of shoe, i.e., not a 5 inch heel open toed platform that looks like it should be on a Kardashian. I have a nice pointed toe kitten heel pair I wear a lot.

      1. I guess that has been my issue. Most of what I have seen has had a higher heel and/or platform. I need something in a more classic shape.

         1. Like these! http://apparelz.shopycentraly.com/kate-spade—kendra-light-camel-patent—footwear

            I have the Kate Spade light camel patent Kendra that I wear with navy suits (and millions of other things). It has a slight bit of platform, but I think it stays in the classic range.

            1. I have cream/beige-colored patent shoes that I love, but for those looking for light camel shoes that aren’t patent —

               http://www.colehaan.com/colehaan/catalog/product.jsp?catId=100&productId=396070&productGroup=383894&pwpHash=shop,pwp,c-100/f-10001+70016+4294966411/t-WOMEN%27S|HEELS

            2. I’ve been admiring the Kendra online – how are the toebox and sizing, ALS? Does it run snug?

            3. I tried on the Cole Haan’s that are suggested and love them. I decided to go with the higher version (3 1/2″). They are currently available at Zappos and Cole Haan expects they will have them in stock soon as well.

   4. I bought this pencil skirt in kind of a navy and white tweed and I really love it…its a little different then just plain navy, but its pretty nice.

      Also…I should note, on my 5′ 3″ frame the petite size comes down pretty much to my knee. Not sure why its SO short on the model.

      http://www.anntaylor.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=29436&N=1200010&categoryId=185&pCategoryId=3939&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_185&Nty=1&No=14&loc=TN&defaultColor=Colonial%20Blue&defaultSizeType=Regular

      1. It could be a body build thing. I am also 5’3″(or 5’2″ and 3/4 if we want to be technical), but I have to do petite sizing on tops and regular on skirts to avoid looking unprofessional. I’m not very tall, but I am short-waisted with legs that are disproportionately long for my height. As a result, the petite version of most suit skirts would fit me just like that one does in the picture.

         That is a cute skirt, though!

      2. I love this but am terrified based on the length on the model. Even with the reassurances, I’d have to see this one in person before feeling confident that it would be decent on me. Ann Taylor (and so many other stores), take note!

         1. I have this same skirt. I am 5’4″ and it is perfectly decent on me – not at all like the model. It comes to my knee.

2. Just not feeling this one. Material appears (from pic) to be thin and ‘stretchy-hangy’ – not in a good way. Or maybe I am just not a cardi girl at heart!

   1. I thought the same ting. It looks a little thin and (I like the word you used) “hangy”. I prefer my cardis to have some structure defined by the material– at least enough to hold a basic sweater shape.

      I feel like something this thin looks a little cheap. Not what I would expect for $198.

3. I love this, but could not wear this to work. It is a bit too revealing for my conservative office.

   1. What do you mean by revealing? It does look sheer, but it’s made to be worn over something.

4. I never knew I could truly hate a sweater until I saw this.

5. Love this, and the styling suggestions. Great pic!

   1. *pick

6. Beautiful. If only it came about a size 12.

   1. It does come in a 12.

7. Nice colors, but it’s so sheer you can see the tag through the material in the back…maybe not so great for work.

   1. That’s what I think. Then I feel awkward that it’s so sheer over my arms if I war a cami or t shirt.

8. I’m confused about the sheer comments. I have a somewhat similar cardigan from Anthropologie that is a “sheer” cream with a floral pattern. I get many compliments when I wear it and since it is worn over a shell or nice t-shirt (similar to Kat’s styling suggestion), there isn’t anything revealing about it. It is just a nice light cardigan for spring/summer. And I really like the one featured here as well.

   1. Ditto. I’m not wearing cardigans with nothing underneath! :) I really like this one.

   2. I’m not sure about this one, but I often feel like if the material is sheer, it looks cheap, like I had to put something else on underneath it or something.

9. This is one of the first printed/patterned cardigans that I actually like! I so very much want to like printed cardigans because I think they add an interesting element to an outfit, but somehow they always come across too cutesy or old-ladyish on me. This one seems a bit more sophisiticated and artsy.

   The one thing stopping me from really loving it is the shape of the “curved” hem that comes up over the hips.

   1. Agreed with the last point. I hate when shirts are hemmed that way!

10. Hmmm. … I kind of see this as a cardigan I would see hanging up in Forever 21.

11. Seems a little Cirque du Soleil. Not quite my thing, but could be pretty on someone else.

12. Threadjack –
    I am part of a small litigation firm and have been doing well at most of the tasks assigned to me as a new associate. I have only been at the firm for six months and am fresh out of school. Here is my problem: I literally get sick when I have to argue in court. I won’t elaborate on the sickness, but I also shake like a leaf for the hour before and all during my argument. I lose sleep the night or nights before, despite being as prepared as I know how to be. I dread having to go to court for pretty much anything other than scheduling conferences.
    Is this something that fellow Corporettes have overcome? Because I feel like my personality is not quite cut out to be a litigator. (And, it doesn’t help that I don’t really WANT to be a litigator either, so my “passion” isn’t gonna get me through it.)

    1. Court jitters do decrease with practice. However, litigation is not for everybody. Did you go to the firm wanting to be a litigator?

       1. I didn’t come here wanting to be a litigator at all. I didn’t think it would bother me the way that it currently does, though. When I summered here, I didn’t get a good taste of what my day-to-day would be like as an associate, and in the current job market, I had no other viable employment options upon graduation. I don’t plan on leaving this firm any time soon – job market, reference issues, employment options, etc. – but eventually, I would like to do something other than this.

    2. Have you considered talking to a doctor about it? Many performers often take beta blockers or other medications to stop or lessen the physical symptoms of anxiety. The reality is that this is an extremely common problem and does not necessarily mean you aren’t cut out for the job.

       1. I hadn’t even thought about that, actually. Thanks for suggesting it! It’s no fun to feel prepared but inexplicably terrified.

       2. Second this. Talk to a doctor. This sounds like anxiety. Modern medicine is our friend, and the right medication will help you. I do not think you need to start looking for a new, non-litigation job at this time. I had litigation jobs for my first few years out of law school and even though I knew I wouldn’t be a lifetime litigator, I’m so glad I had the experience.

          Also (and I’ve said this here before), when I took an improv class it helped my ability to speak in public tremendously. Plus it was fun and got me out of my head. I highly recommend it.

       3. I agree. Beta blockers will suppress your symptoms (heart pounding, shaking hands) and that should lessen the self consciousness I expect you are experiencing. Many performers take beta blockers and your internist could prescribe them. When I was a new lawyer, I used to experience heart pounding in court almost randomly and disproportionate to the importance of the appearance. For example, sometimes I was OK arguing a summary judgment motion but would get really nervous just announcing my name when I didn’t have to argue. Hang in there.

       4. Beta blockers are amazing! I had to give a big presentation in front of hundreds of people and with the beta blockers I had no jitters whatsoever. It was just like talking to a co-worker one on one. Amazing!

    3. Since your nervousness is tied to court appearances, I’m wondering whether you might benefit from a clerkship. When you are in the court everyday and you are mostly observing, you’ll just get used to the environment. Might be a possibility for you?

       1. I like the idea of a clerkship a lot. I know some firms will allow a young associate to leave for a clerkship and then come back to the firm, but that would not be the case with my firm at all. I would like to just go to court more and observe as part of the learning process here at my firm, but I simply don’t have time in the day to do so.

    4. I had a colleague like that once. He would throw up every time he went to court. It didn’t get better after a number of years, and eventually he switched to a corporate in-house position and was much happier there. You’d probably be doing yourself a favor to start looking for a non-litigator job. For many litigators, going to court is the highlight of the work, and something to look forward to. I guess you didn’t clerk, either, which might have given you a chance to see things behind the scenes and be more comfortable with courtrooms. During my two year clerkship, I saw so many terrible arguments and trials that I knew I could do the job at least as well as the average litigator!

    5. Have you looked into doing Toastmasters? It’s an organization meant to prepare people to be public speakers. It would be a way to practice public speaking without the fear that you’re messing up for a paying client.

       Also, think of clerking for a judge, or even just shadowing a judge for a couple weeks. Once you’ve seen how the inner workings of the court function, it’s much less intimidating; the judge is just a person, and that’s been really helpful for me to remember.

       1. It’s not the judge I am scared of. It’s the other attorneys in the courtroom and the opposing attorney. I have met most of the judges I appear in front of and am comfortable with them because I know they are fair and we don’t have any judges that have difficult personalities. It’s just that confrontation isn’t my strong suit. I cannot argue any motions unless I literally type them all out and have it in front of me, word for word. Even then, I have to set the paper on the table in order to not appear to be visibly shaking. It was the same way during oral arguments in law school. I was fine with giving informal presentations in front of the class or even answering questions when called on.

    6. Maybe you should get a job doing corporate work.

       At my firm, the corporate tax people do not go to court at all, have regular hours (almost 9:30 am to about 6:00 pm) and have a pretty decent life, other than at tax time when they are very busy.

       My ex-husband works in the tax department and he, inevitably, is nearly always the one who is able to go home and pick up the kids. I have custody, so he keeps them until I am able to pick them up from his place.

       1. I’d really like to be able to use my law degree in a way that makes me more confident in my abilities as opposed to worried about my short-comings. Corporate work would be much more my style. It’s good to know that your exH has that kind of job and that those jobs are out there.

    7. One thing that I find really helpful to deal with nerves in situations like this is I pretend I am acting. It sounds really silly but I would say to myself, e.g., “self: today you are playing a really tough attorney who is representing this person who. . . blah blah . . . ” It helps psych me up, I guess.
       Also, I second the idea of either a public speaking course or maybe just going to court for a few hours to sit and watch others. Also, think about what specifically is making you nervous. What’s the worst case scenario you imagine? What would happened if it actually occured? I bet it would not be that bad. I saw a guy faint in a courtroom once. But you know what, he got back up and the world did not come to an end :)

       1. FAIN TED! (Note to self to pack small snack for court) I can completely see myself doing that. And you’re right. Worst thing that could happen would be that I have to pick myself up and keep on going.

    8. Actors sometimes warm up before going on stage by doing stretching exercises or other physical things to work off some of the extra energy. I particularly like things that are sort of yoga-inspired (or as yoga inspired as one can get in business attire), which sort of help a person collect her thoughts and such. It might be worth a try.

       (Another thing actors do is group “silly” activities- saying words backwards, coming up with silly games, etc. I’m not sure how to translate that to the business world, or how to do it on your own, but it’s a good distraction/relaxation technique.)

    9. I have the same problem! Well, with public speaking in general, even if it is just being called on in class and I’m a 2L! I will definitely be reading the suggestions! I’m glad someone else has similar concerns.

       1. In law school, I got much more comfortable with cold calling when I had a professor who called on lots of people each class and did it somewhat randomly. I was much more nervous when I knew the professor was going down the row or something, but when I didn’t know it was coming, I had less time to be anxious. The professor that put me most at ease was also kind of awkward himself–he stuttered sometimes or garbled his words while lecturing–and that made me feel less like I had to have a perfect, rehearsed answer.

          I also thought that moot court helped me a lot, even though it was a definite push outside of my comfort zone when I signed up for a competitive moot court.

    10. I get an upset stomach when I’m nervous too. It’s not unusual. But you say you “dread” going to court. It’s fairly obvious from your comment that you’re not just nervous about public speaking; you hate appearing in court. That’s not going to go away. You’re not cut out to be a trial lawyer. If that’s a non-negotiable part of your job, stick it out for at least a year, and then look to move on to a practice area that’s not going to have you appearing in court regularly.

        1. Oh, and signing up for Toastmasters or a similar public speaking course should help you get through the next few months :).

           1. “You’re not cut out to be a trial lawyer.” Ouch! I completely disagree! Don’t sell yourself short. You are fresh out of school and only have six months’ experience. I was in EXACTLY the same position at the beginning of my career and went on to practice criminal litigation very successfully for 20 years. I truly came to love going to court.

              If you continue to be as diligent and well-prepared as you obviously are, I think there is every chance you will eventually learn to trust yourself and your work. Don’t let the other lawyers intimidate you! Remember it is the judge who decides your cases and the fact that junior counsel is well-prepared, if a bit nervous, isn’t going to be lost on her.

              If you are truly miserable, by all means take a look around, but don’t think that being this upset before court, everytime, is something that you can’t overcome. I am living proof that you can. I honestly think this situation is more common than many lawyers want to admit.

              I have been reading Corporette for two years now without commenting, ever, but I just couldn’t resist the chance to send you some positive feedback. Hang in there – you’re probably more fabulous than you know!

              1. What a nice response! It really gives me hope that there are other people out there who went through the same thing, but have managed to get over it! Thanks!

    11. It sounds a lot like anticipatory anxiety. A xanax or ativan the night before and the morning of (prescribed of course) could really help. I have a stronger dose I take at night and a very mild one for the morning of. Also, if you are getting the nervous poops, take immodium w/ anti-gas! You will feel much better and you then won’t be nervous about having to leave court to poop. Don’t drink too much liquid though – immodium makes me pee a lot! If you get naseaus (sp?) or throw up consider taking dramamine or one of the other motion sickness medicines. It will help wtih that – so long as you can keep a clear head on it.

        1. If someone has to take that large a drug cocktail just to do her job, it’s really time to look for another job.

           1. That’s really judgmental and oblivious to the plight of others who genuinely need such drugs. I have to take anti-anxiety and other drugs just to interact with people normally, much less perform a job. I think a lot of people who are not exposed to mental health-related concerns, such as great anxiety, are not aware of the difficulties. And the OP shouldn’t necessarily look for another job — one way to improve anxiety is to repeatedly force yourself to confront scary situations. Retreating and hiding will only make her condition worse.

              OP — I’d recommend the drugs as a short-term solution and a quick fix, and as a longer-term solution, something like Toastmasters, personal or group therapy, public speech classes, speech/media training, etc — whichever of these works best for you. Look for something that will force you to confront your fear in a safe and constructive way so that you can eventually get better at overcoming it. Good luck.

        2. some other advice —

           – test out any drugs before you use them for a court appearance – many can make you tired and foggy-headed. Be prepared to adjust the dose or try different ones. In general beta blockers don’t cause as much drowsiness as the benzodiazapines (e.g. xanax). But get the drugs from a psych dr, NOT a general practitioner. Many GPs are not comfortable with prescribing stuff like this, either because they don’t have much experience with it, or they assume you’ll just abuse it, or they want you to try every conceivable non-drug solution first, no matter how long it takes or how little those may help. Unfortunately it seems like many GPs are not really understanding of anxiety/mental health concerns and don’t appreciate the seriousness of these issues.

           – you say that confrontation isn’t your strong suit — maybe it would help to really internalize your client’s concerns — think of it as fighting back against the other side’s unfairness/injustice to your client — focus on the issue, not the situation of being in a court appearance.

           – continually seek out non-litigation work at your current firm – even if it means creating more work for yourself – try to show them that you are genuinely interested in other subject matters.

           – look for non-litigation jobs; it sounds like you may really be happier with corporate-type work, so try to find some.

           1. Leaf,
              I’m right there with ya! I feel like I could have written this post myself, although I personally do Administrative hearings. Every morning before I hearing I think, “I don’t want to do this, I hate this, I need a new job!” But usually it’s not so bad afterwards.
              My biggest problem is my confidence. I feel like I wither away during hearings. I feel so embarassed when I feel like I’m not doing well. I really want to be good at my job, but between my nerves and the pressure to win that happens at my firm, it’s a bad combo.
              I don’t really have any advice, I just wanted to commiserate…..

13. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2009/07/thing-of-day-uterus-rating-not-awesome.html

    1. Heart everything Allie of Hyperbole and a Half produces.

14. Threadjack – I am looking for a recommendation for a jacket that’s good for cold, rainy weather, for everyday wear (including work). I’m thinking along the lines of the North Face or Columbia. Not puffy. A hood would be nice. Any recommendations?

    1. I would try Land’s End, LL Bea, Eddie Bower or one of those type places.
       Depending on how warm you want it, you should look for something lined or not. If you want colorful & unusual, Boden has cute raincoats.

       I myself have been eyeing this one ever since my JCrew catalog arrived — but I don’t know if you prefer something that can be worn in colder weather. http://www.jcrew.com/womens_category/outerwear/cotton/PRDOVR~36326/36326.jsp

       1. LL Bean’s raincoats are awesome. They are not very stylish, though, but are actually waterproof (or pretty close to it).

    2. I like the brand Isis. Their jackets seem more fitted to me than other brands, so I think they’re slightly more work appropriate and more feminine-looking. I have their long down coat, and I’m getting a short down coat soon (ideeli sale, could not resist), but I like their insulated shell jackets, too, if you don’t want down (although I don’t think that the short down coat will be puffy, I can let you know when I get it, if you want).

15. Threadjack: My brother is graduating from his masters in music program this year, and also doing a final piano performance. I know that I’ll get him a graduation present, but I haven’t figured out what yet. I’m looking in the $150-$200 range, and I’d like it to either be functional (ie, an experience or service) or something small and portable, since he’ll be moving a lot in the next few years. He plans to be a piano teacher. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

    Also, do I get him a gift for his recital? I’m flying out and renting a car to attend, so it’s already a rather expensive undertaking. I’d prefer to get him something small and quirky (like, under $20), if anything at all (oh, and he doesn’t drink, so wine is out).

    1. In terms of the $100-200 gift, is there something that he could use during his teaching like a stylish electric metronome or some other music related device? It might be difficult to figure out what he already owns, but chances are he might have been borrowing smaller equipment from the music department during his degree, and would appreciate something like that from you. Maybe check out a local music supply store in your area and see what they suggest.

       In terms of the cheaper gift for his recital, maybe you can find him a tie that’s on sale ( but that may run you more than $20), or maybe you can get him a bouquet of flowers. I know he’s a guy but I think that flowers are a pretty well-received (cheap gift too!) by men and women inside the arts. Hope it all works out!

       1. A briefcase would be good. He’ll be carting around a lot of sheet music.

          1. A briefcase would be a good idea! Thanks for the suggestion. Added bonus: it’s fun to shop for bags!

    2. Does he have a job lined up? If not, I would suggest cash. Sounds impersonal, I know, but “starving musician” can be an unfortunately accurate stereotype.

       Also, many musicians I know are extremely picky about their equipment and/or instruments, so if you do decide you want to purchase a metronome or something similar, consider a gift certificate to a local music store.

16. Another threadjack, but back to Kat’s styling ideas for this cardigan. She mentions wearing it over a silk tee, wish I could find one. I’ve been looking for t-shirt styles, preferably v-neck, that are in a dressy fabric — silk jersey, raw silk or maybe even a rayon or nylon matte jersey — to wear under suits, jackets and cardigans. When I search the web for silk tees I got long underwear! Has anyone found any good, “dressy” tees?

    1. You can find lots of them at wintersilks dot com

    2. LL Bean Signature makes silk tees, though they’re not cheap.
       They make v necks and scoopnecks and tanks.

    3. ann taylor loft has good options. I am wearing a “dressy” tee from them right now.

       1. Thanks to all three of you for the great suggestions (but aack, I’ve spent too much time looking at the shopping sites this afternoon instead of working). I had never heard of LL Bean Signature; they have some really beautiful things, although some are a bit pricey. Forget the t-shirts, now I’m checking out the silk habutai dresses . . .

17. Not sure if he’ll be doing any composition work, but some music staff paper might be good. He’ll also probably have some of his students practice writing notes or rhythms, so the staff paper would come in handy then as well. This could be your small gift for his recital.
    For the “experience” gift, you might check into tickets for a virtuoso performance that he might be interested in. You might also consider some piano accessories, like a tuning fork, nice notebook to hold his music, metronome, etc. If he already has these items (which he might if he’s doing a piano performance master’s), you might get him a nice leather tote to carry all his music and accessories to and from performances, lessons, and classes.

Comments are closed.