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I forget how this bag came to my attention — Lightning Deal? random recommendation from Amazon? — but I ordered it a while ago and for what it is, I'm very happy with it. I always like lightweight nylon bags, and this one has a lot of really intelligent design features, like having the main opening be along the back of the backpack, and a large, zippered side pocket that I would liken to the OG's “zippered shoe compartment.” I also love the fact that it easily converts to a shoulder bag! I got the smaller version, which is big enough to fit a Kindle or smaller iPad as well as all my stuff, and I like that it has outside pockets for the omnipresent water bottle. The bag also apparently comes in a larger size (big enough for a laptop), but for my $.02 I'd want more ergonomic shoulder straps before planning to lug a laptop about — the shoulder straps are kind like skinnier versions of seatbelts. It's stylish, simple, and affordable if you're on the hunt, and comes in a number of different color options. It's $25-$35, at Amazon. Women Backpack Purse Waterproof Nylon Anti-theft Rucksack Lightweight Shoulder Bag This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
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- Boden – 15% off new styles
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- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Mackenzie Childs freak —wedding registry edition
Running the risk of another “this is HOW MUCH”?? post… wow, i’m on a wedding registry thats 90% Mackenzie Childs checkerboard stuff. I have never heard of this stuff. I feel really outdated again. ha. I also missed the Rae Dunn phenomenon.
Anonymous
Ewww gross
Anon
I guess I’m outdated too, I had to g**gle both of those. That checkerboard stuff is absolutely atrocious. The Rae Dunn is cute for like one item, maybe? (And even then, not the ones that say what item goes there, i.e. “utensils.”) The whole sets are just too over the top.
Panda Bear
I didn’t know what they were either. the Rae Dunn stuff looks like everything I see randomly marked down to about $12 at Marshalls. I have to admit I would kind of like to have, maybe, one checkerboard item. But not a whole set.
Anonymous
I’m kind of amazed that it is a thing. Like if I had told my parents to send me to college but to be a potter. And not a fine arts potter but a sort of kitchy one. And written up a business plan to get critiqued (and gotten volumes on why it would all be a waste of $$$ and never in a million years work) and just cried as my dreams evaporated.
And yet it does work. It seems so . . . Brooklyn? Like medieval-era crafts can make you fancy if done for a living by someone with a 4-year degree who is photogenic?
Will encourage my kids to be photogenic and maybe go into master masonry — it seems that there are actually not enough high-end masons for people who like high-end masonry.
pugsnbourbon
There are tons and tons of Rae Dunn items at my local Marshalls.
Also anon at 3:04 – if your child does get into specialty masonry encourage them to work in historic buildings. I volunteer at a museum and holy moly historic masonry repair is $$$$
anon
I feel like the Rae Dunn stuff (which I’ve seen before but never identified as one specific ‘designer’) is like the pet rock of ceramic ware. Like, its so crude and reductive as to be utterly reproducible and ubiquitous but you didn’t think of it first so you don’t reap the profits.
Senior Attorney
OMG they are going to get SO TIRED OF THAT.
Anon
Speaking of things that look like Marshall’s mark downs for high prices: Annie Glass.
Vicky Austin
Oh my gosh, that checkerboard stuff…I could handle the dress from this morning but a whole kitchen of this? My eyes.
pugsnbourbon
… there’s a dark corner of my heart that really wants this, though: https://www.mackenzie-childs.com/courtly-check-menu-rabbit/35516-1118.html
Anonymous
That stuff only looks good if you have twee chalkwriting skills. Which IIRC from grade school is not the case.
Senior Attorney
Heh. “Menu rabbit.” Heh.
Lana Del Raygun
Oh my word, it’s like Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland by way of the seasonal bin at Jo-Ann Fabric.
Anonome
TIL that “courtly pumpkin” are words that go next to each other. *eye twitch*
anon
That is hideous. Wow.
anon
I mean, who doesn’t need a royal check baguette dish???
Senior Attorney
OMG the menorah…
Anon
I could see something like the “Parchment Check Ring Dish” being cute, but not for $200!
Anon
Oh wow, I actually know someone who has like 10 of their pumpkins and had absolutely no idea what they were (or how insanely expensive they were!) but definitely noticed them for how eye jarring they were sitting there all huge and checkered in the middle of the dining table.
Anonymous
OMG these look like man-repellers.
SC
Not going to lie, I actually like the checkerboard stuff enough to want a few items. Like, I could go for the checked candles (but not with checked candle holders) or checked dish cloths or a checked spoon rest. Maybe one serving piece. I also like the “parchment” collection a lot more than the black and white check. The “royal” black and white check is just a hideous combination.
The $500 rooster figurine has my vote for most ridiculous :-)
SC
Oh, and in response to Anonymous@4:50, there is absolutely no way that my husband would ever allow these items in the house. Maybe a candle or a dish towel because they’re more temporary.
Anon
The parchment is actually kind of nice, and that checked coupe glass looks like something you would find at Serendipity 3 in NYC.
Anonymous
Man, that Mackenzie Childs stuff is what I would have LOVED to have for my tea parties when I was 6
Anon
If you happen to listen to Watch What Crappens podcast, they go on and on, hilariously, about the Mackenzie Childs checkerboard teapot in Tamra’s kitchen. Maybe your friend is a RHOC fan?
PS the reviews from the WWC guys are not favorable, to say the least
In-House in Houston
Has anyone found drawer dividers for really deep drawers? I have a tall chest of drawers – first 2 drawers are shallow, but the rest of the drawers are really deep. I’ve seen this set-up on a lot of dressers, so it’s not like mine is unusual. These deep drawers are so hard to keep organized! I’ve purchased all kinds of typical drawer dividers, but they’re not deep enough so things on the bottom are okay but then the top of the drawer is one big mess. Any ideas? TIA!!
Anonymous
KonMari would tell you to use cardboard boxes. You could also try repurposing the dividers that come inside wine boxes. Trader Joe’s would probably give you some if you asked.
Anon
As someone who did this for many years – cardboard makes a lot of dust.
H13
I’ve been wondering this too! I have really deep drawers and cannot figure out how to make them more functional. They are black holes for any smaller items.
anonchicago
Doesn’t answer your question about organization, but I have deep drawers as well. I use these for workout shirts, tank tops, and shorts! I don’t fold because those clothes can be wrinkled and the thinnness of the clothing makes it easier to sort through.
Anon
Plastic bins from the dollar store? They’re thinner than regular bins so they won’t take up space and they come in a variety of sizes so you can measure and use whatever’s closest.
OTF
Does anyone here do Orange Theory regularly? I’m going for my first class tomorrow and am not sure what to expect. I love HIIT, and it seems like it’s in that vein, right?
Also important question for my future satisfaction with this type of workout— Are burpees and mountain climbers common? I hate both of those, and not in a way that’s motivating.
OTF Anon
I’ve been doing OTF regularly for a little over a year. It’s very HIIT-like. If you like data, you will like that feature with OTF (which is one of its selling points). I really like it because it’s a very intense one hour workout. I always feel pretty spent when I am done and then I get on with life. I’m not going to lie- burpees do pop up here and there, as do mountain climbers. There’s a Re88it forum that you can check out that usually has the next day’s workouts posted the night before so if you are super adverse to either exercise, you can evaluate before you show up. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Horse Crazy
Yes, I love it! It is HIIT – classes are either 2 group, meaning you usually do half the class on the treadmill and half on the rower/weight floor, or 3 group, meaning you do 1/3 on the tread, 1/3 on rower, and 1/3 on weight floor, although sometimes they switch up the transitions. I would say burpees and mountain climbers are not super common – there is a week in late October called Hell Week, and every workout that week has burpees, but other than that, it doesn’t seem like we do them frequently. Classes are different every day, but each day’s class is the same at every studio across the world…if that makes sense.
anonchicago
I have been doing it since May and love it. It’s a hard workout but I burned out on running and this is just enough running to keep me interested and burn a lot of calories.
I travel a lot for work so the ability to use any studio in the country was a huge bonus, and I now have an incentive to work out on the road.
blueberry
I go three times per week and have been for about 2 months as part of my weight loss goal. I haven’t lost much weight yet (only 5lbs) but have lost several inches so I guess something is working. Burpees and mountain climbers come up occasionally, but you can always modify them into something less terrible if they’re that awful for you. I modify several of the weight floor exercises – the coaches usually give a couple possible mods to make the exercises either easier or harder.
OTF
I think I can handle the burpees and mountain climbers periodically. I recently did a boot camp style class for a few months, and we had to do one or the other 2-3 days per week. It was torturous to me. I will also try the mod if offered!
To the poster who said it’s part of a weight loss plan— that’s where I am, too. I want to lose 30 lbs and am hoping this (combined with WW will help).
blueberry
Unsolicited advice, take your measurements! I’m glad I did.
St. John jackets
Lately, I have been wanting a nicer black knit jacket. This morning’s post where someone mentioned St. John got me clicking around. . . there are some gorgeous pieces. Not the St. John I remember from DC in the early 2000s. But what looks like something I could get in black and wear with my other solid and black-based print dresses.
Yes? No?
And is there a lower cost equivalent? My understanding is that the basics never go on sale, just seasonal items. I never got myself any making-partner presents (I had a m/c on the day I was voted in, so in no mood to celebrate or even eat fancy). Or just get sized at a store and watch somewhere like Poshmark?
anon
I often can get something of lesser quality at Ann Taylor, they will sometimes have a nice knit blazer ish thing that i will wear till threads
Beth
I’ve gotten St. John stuff on the Real Real for very reasonable prices
Anonymous
Neiman Marcus Last Call has basics, as does Sacks Off Fifth.
Anon
Building on a comment from the morning. We have a sleeper sofa that gets used for a few nights each month. It’s 10 years old and starting to not be comfortable for our guests anymore, even with adding a new mattress and additional padding.
What are some options to refresh? Do we have to buy a new sofa? Or are there tricks to avoid buying an entirely new set? (We don’t have the space to have a piece of plywood in the shape of the bed to lay down under the mattress, which is what my dad suggested.)
Anon
Do you have room to store something like this?
https://www.amazon.com/Palos-Designs-Sleeper-Sofa-Shield/dp/B01B50LE44/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_196_t_2/145-7405350-2046309?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=0RPGGKNVGCNP51SVHFH4
Depending on what’s actually causing the discomfort, there seem to be quite a few ways to repair the innards of your sleeper as well.
Anon
Along that thought, there are things like “DMI Folding Bunkie Bed for Mattress Support,” which would be like plywood, but folds up and might fit under your couch when not in use.
Anonymous
Have you thought about a murphy bed and accent chairs instead? Just move the accent chairs to the side and fold down the bed. If it’s being used regularly, it’s worthwhile getting something comfortable.
Costco has some really nice murphy beds with desks or storage.
Anon
What is your budget? I looked into murphy beds until I realized a real functioning murphy bed costs 1500 to 2k – I just didn’t find it worth it to spend that on a guest bed, it cost more than my own bed.
Rainbow Hair
I want a murphy bed so badly! We absolutely don’t need a murphy bed… but they’re so cool.
Grown up glass of water
I was watching “The Children Act” this weekend and Emma Thompson’s character had a lovely and elegant water pitcher and glass on her private desk. I now have made it my mission in life to find an equally elegant pitcher and glass set for my office, and it seems so passe to have been drinking out of water bottles (the elegant judge would never!). Not sure why I am posting this, just wanted to share because I’m excited by the prospect of having a pitcher and glasses to offer visitors a glass of water.
anon
This would only work if you have an office butler to refesh every morning. Nothing would taint my morning more than yesterday’s stale water and humbly walking over to the water cooler to fill it up.
Grown up glass of water
Oh no, I’ll drink that old water. I’ll drink it up.
And I will 1000% use the same glass allllll week or until it looks grimy. Saving clean ones for my guests.
I’m a car commuter so easy to take stuff home to wash.
Senior Attorney
Come over here and sit by me while I drink my old water out of my unwashed water glass. (Which is not glass but that plastic stuff they sell for out by the pool so it won’t get broken.)
anon
Check out mackenzie childs.
Grown up glass of water
Bahahahaha. I have a lasagna dish that I got as a(n unregistered for) wedding gift that I bust out every now and then. It’s cute but a whole kitchen full of that would make me nuts.
ElisaR
haha
MJ
This is the pitcher I have on my desk everyday because I am not an unprofessional person who drinks from water bottles. LOLZ. I love it. I don’t have a matching glass set–just one glass for me. My mentor, now at K&S, but who used to be my boss in another office of my firm, had one like it and I loved it so darn much I wanted one for me too!
Description on the River Site: Elegant Chill Glass Carafe Water Pitcher – For The Modern Home – Thin, Functional Scandinavian Design – Premium Quality Borosilicate Glass – Stainless Steel Lid – 1300ml/44oz.
Link below to avoid mod.
Grown up glass of water
Oooooh yes.
MJ
Link to my post: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01B01JTEU/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
anon for this
I went to the doctor for our first ultrasound (8 weeks) and there was nothing really there. an empty sac and it looks like there was fluid and detachment. So now I’m waiting a week for confirmation and then will likely take a pill to move things along.
I’m having a lot of anxiety over the waiting – both about it happening unexpectedly (and having some big work events this week I’d rather not miss) and the pain that dr. google says is coming. I also have a 2.5 year old fwiw. I didn’t struggle to get pregnant either time, but am sad this isn’t going to work out.
I guess just looking for other experiences or links to past threads on this topic.
Lana Del Raygun
I’m so sorry. :(
Anonymous
All the hugs.
A number of friends in this situation have chosen a D+C vs having to wait around and not knowing when something will start happening at work or another time that would be hard.
H13
I’m really sorry you are going through this. You can choose when you want to take the rx and work around your schedule. That is what I did when I miscarried a few years ago. Make sure you get explicit instructions on how to take the meds (I didn’t) and be aware that sometimes they don’t work (they didn’t for me). I also read the horror stories but never experienced anything like that. Then again, it didn’t work and I ended up with a D&E.
It can be hard to take the time to be sad when you have big work events on the horizon and a 2.5 yo to chase after but don’t forget to take care of yourself and grieve if you need to. Sending hugs.
lsw
I’m so sorry. Hugs.
anon
so sorry this is happening. I had the same situation with my first pregnancy and opted for the pills per my doctor’s rec. I had read horror stories online and was a little fearful, but it actually turned out to be fine, mostly like a very heavy period with a lot of cramping/time spent in the bathroom. Hang in there, this will be over soon.
Colette
I would schedule a D&C rather than take the pill. It’s better for planning, much faster to resolve (the pill could take several weeks to complete), and less painful.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your SO take some time to grieve.
AnonInHouse
Oh I’m so sorry. I was in a a very similar situation a few years ago, right down to having a 2.5 yr old and discovering the empty sac at the 8 week u/s. When deciding what to do, I actually read the archives on this s i t e and got a lot of helpful advice — so you might try that. I also read some of the internet horror stories, but had a fine experience with the pill. I inserted on a Friday night and was over the worst by the next afternoon. It was unpleasant but for me, better than the alternatives of a D&C or waiting to miscarry on my own. Take care of yourself.
UHU
Hugs.
Katy
I’m sorry.
Anonymous
Agree that it is easier to get the D&C than wait it out, and if your doctor is not open to this, find another one. A friend of mine had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks and waited 3 weeks for “things to happen naturally” and it was torture for her. Plus, just like things can go wrong with a D&C things can go wrong waiting for a missed miscarriage to complete itself. Women used to die from missed miscarriages back in the olden days. I would ask for the D&C as it will at least allow you some measure of control over what will happen next and help you plan your next few weeks a little bit. As someone who has experienced early pregnancy loss, I am so sorry this happened to you. It is hard and it is not your fault. Take time to heal. Big hugs.
busybee
Sorry. I had that in July of this year. I started bleeding on my own two days later, and it lasted for two weeks. No pain or cramping though. I know everyone is different but it’s not always a painful horror story like I thought it would be.
Anonymous
I just instant messaged my project manager and mentioned that we had kudos from corporate for something–and then joked that I was glad no one was on us about a different project yet and that I hadn’t mentioned it since I didn’t want to open that whole mess –only to have someone else on the team IM me to notify that my project manager was hosting a big meeting– and on a screen share– at the moment.
Seriously want to crawl in a hole now. Thank heavens I didn’t say worse, I guess…?
anon
Your project manager should have been on do not disturb. How would you know?
Anon
That’s on your boss, not you.
Anon
Awww if it’s any consolation that sort of thing has happened to everyone at some point. It’s mortifying at the time, but 5 years later it will be a hilarious story, I promise.
anon
office norm in my company is to begin every conversation with a single message “- -” or “..” or even just two spaces; since skype only shows your face and the beginning of the first message (even if you follow up with other messages), that helps prevent the sender from inadvertantly getting embarrassed in situations like this.
Anon
Can anyone recommend a pretty art potter on Etsy? I need a small lidded jar to sit on my (teeny) bathroom counter for bobby pins.
Junie
Not to be that person, but have you looked at secondhand stores like Goodwill for something suitable? Secondhand = sustainable, and IMO it’s good value for things like glassware.
Anon
I think you are “that person.” Your suggestion of a secondhand store could apply to literally anything asked here, but you want this woman to spend hours looking for a $20 new item?
Monday
+1. Second-hand and antique stores will have lots of things like this.
Anon
OP here. It’s ok. Sustainability was my first thought, too :) I have checked secondhand and antique stores near me, but their trinket boxes are more early 90s Hallmark than art ;) I figure pottery’s pretty good as a purchase – supporting an individual artist and only using clay. And yeah, after I hit 4 stores yesterday, I decided online was the way to go because I don’t have a lifetime to look for a bobby pin holder!
Anon Lawyer
I’m pro-sustainability, but Etsy purchases are not the ones I feel most called to divert to secondhand stores.
Anon
Try searching Rae Dunn, I understand they have a jar that reads “Bobby Pins.” ;)
Anon
HA!
Another anon
Get one of those delicious La Fermiere yogurts. Eat the yogurt and keep the super cute clay pot :-)
anon
How would you feel about a coworker who always keeps her office door locked when she is inside? It is definitely intentional, and no one else in our building does this. I wouldn’t think anything of it, except she’s extremely unproductive and a slow learner. I am senior to her and have been training her, so if something is off I am probably the first person who would be expected to know.
Anonymous
I would feel the way I do feel about my coworker who does this: she is not interested in our office norms and doesn’t not want to do the work
Anonymous
Very odd. My mind went from the awful (sleeping? drug use?) to the perhaps innocent (possible victim of a violent crime at one time…possibly in an abusive relationship at home?…possible there’s a health issue that’s difficult to attend to elsewhere–like monitoring insulin or injecting Humira for Crohns).
I’d say track productivity but if the person is a slow learner it’s highly likely there could again be a benign reason for being a slow worker as well , such as difficulty reading or other learning disability.
I don’t think I’d raise an issue of it if there’s no policy against it. I’d focus on addressing the other performance issues.
Anonymous
Just reread that you’re a coworker not the individual’s manager. I’d completely mind my own business (unless you think she’s a security risk to others).
So weird though.
Senior Attorney
I would think that was super weird and if she’s extremely unproductive I would wonder what she’s doing in there.
Anon
You’re sure she’s not pumping, right?
anon
Yes, her only child has recently graduated college.
Anon
Can you see in the office otherwise? We have a solid wood door but the office wall to the hallway is a floor-to-ceiling glass panel. Weird either way. Extra weird (and concerning?) if you can’t see in the office and you legit don’t know if she’s sleeping or something.
anon
No, there’s no visibility at all into the office. Not even a window on her door.
Come to think of it, I know of someone who knocked, heard no response, and concluded that she wasn’t there, and then later when asked about it she said she was there. Maybe this has even happened to me! If I’ve knocked and not heard anything, I’ve assumed she was elsewhere, but now…
Anon
Depression? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve closed my door (never locked though) because I couldn’t bear to make small talk with people going around. My office is super friendly, and I could put on a cheerful face for a few minutes, but I couldn’t handle the idea of having to sit at my desk and be “on” in case someone walked by. It would also explain why she’s unproductive and slow to follow concepts – heaven knows that was me last year.
Anon
This. This is me.
anonymous
Or under-treated ADHD? Not sure how loud your office is but there are days that I want to strangle everyone who doesn’t see a problem with camping out in the hallway and running their mouths. Maybe that’s also why she’s not efficient? If you already think she’s a slow learner, perhaps she’s just plain old struggling and having the door closed helps her focus.
Vicky Austin
My door is always shut because there are loads of people (and laundry carts, and supply carts) going up and down past my office all day long and I would never, ever get anything done if I didn’t shut the door. A sign on the door always indicates whether I am there or not and I always answer any knocks. If she’s a bad performer, that’s a problem, but I highly doubt her door habits are enabling her. Promise.
Anonymous
It’s not just closing the door though–it’s locking it. Why would you need to lock it all of the time when in there?
That’s the odd part of the door habit, not that the individual is closing it. That’s the “enabling” aspect.
Anonymous
Uh IDK how people think LOCKING the door at work is necessary due to depression, ADD, or productivity issues. Come on. We all have been in offices where it was loud/hard to focus so yeah you shut your door. But LOCKING IT?? Indicates some kind of secrecy . . .
anon
Yes, this. I am absolutely not worried about anybody’s closed door, and I often close mine. I’m asking about her always keeping it locked when she’s inside.
Anon
Honestly I did that when I was pregnant so that I could take off my bra. Worth it.
Ellen
She is to old to be nursing. I think she could be an escapist and if she is anything like my former associate, Mason, she could be pleasuring herself and does not want to be interrupted, which is understandably private, but NOT something she should be doing in the office. I would have your managing partner knock on the door and see if she answers quickly. If not, try and see what is around and under her desk.
Anon
Haha this gave me a laugh! I would totally do it, except my locking office door is connected to an all-glass office. :/
Anonymous
Any tips on talking your husband into a vasectomy? I keep hearing friends say they’re the ones who had to make the appointment for their husband… but what does the conversation sound like? Do you just spring it on him? Make the appointment “to talk” and then hope he gets convinced during the appointment?
Anon
What are you using for BC now? How strongly does he not want another child? For me, I just said, hey I’m done taking hormonal BC, not interested in an IUD and condoms aren’t super reliable so you need to get snipped. If he’d been more interested in more kids it might have been a tougher sell but we were both 100% done.
I would not ambush him with a doctor’s appointment, that seems really passive aggressive.
Anonymous
I just told mine that I wasn’t having more babies or taking more birth control, so he could either wear a condom every time or get a v.
Lana Del Raygun
What on earth? No, you do not make an appointment for a surgical procedure or (even a consultation for a surgical procedure!) for an adult who has not said that they want it. The only reason to spring it on him to put him on the spot and pressure him into doing something to his body that you apparently think he would not be on board with, which is massively disrespectful of his bodily autonomy.
Not your job
What is your current method of bc? I would stop being responsible for bc– it’s on him now. His choices are to wear a c*ndom or to get the vasectomy. The end.
Anon
Um, you don’t spring medical procedures on your husband, nor do you make appointments and hope he is “convinced” during them. That’s disrespectful to his body. (I would be on the warpath if my husband did this to me.)
You sit down and have a talk with him. You refuse to use birth control that impacts your body – no Pill, no tubal ligation (a bigger procedure), no IUD. If you are using the Pill and saying he needs to get snipped, you’re sending a mixed message (your actions say one thing and your words say a different thing, and men will listen to the actions.) You’re done with your body being implicated in birth control and reproduction. His turn to step up. He’ll either tire of c0nd0ms or he won’t.
Rainbow Hair
Yeah I don’t feel like I have any right to step into such a personal and semi-permanent decision for my husband. We’ve talked about it — just like we did when I tried an IUD, or when I quit HBC because it broke my brain — but if and when he gets that procedure done on his reproductive organs, it’ll be because he chose it. FWIW, we’ve been #TeamC0nd0m for like 6 year. It’s not so bad.
He’s mentioned getting a vasectomy a few times and I suggested (a friend suggested it to me) that he get it scheduled during March Madness so he has something fun to do while he sits on the sofa with an ice pack on his crotch.
Anon
My OB’s husband is a urologist and she said if you want it done during March Madness you have to book a year in advance. Apparently a lot of people have the same idea.
Of Counsel
Go on a s*x strike? Tell him he needs to wear a condom every single time?
Or (more seriously) talk to him. You presumably have reasons you want him to do this. He (presumably) has reasons he does not want to do it. Tell him your reasons; listen to his. If you do not agree, ask him how he proposes the two of you resolve this conflict while staying married because you do not think it is right/fair/healthy that you are expected to undertake the considerable burden of BC. Maybe suggest a meeting with a doctor who can go over the options available and discuss the pros and cons of each one.
I would not recommend springing it on him that you unilaterally scheduled him for surgery, or even just a medical appointment, without discussing it with him.
Anonymous
I don’t know that I could or would want to talk my husband “into” a vasectomy. But I did tell him that my IUD needed to come out by this date and that I would not be getting another one. He agreed to go talk to the doctor and get information about a vasectomy. He found the doctor and made the appointment on his own, but I went with him. Once he was there, the doctor made him feel comfortable with the procedure and so he scheduled it (during March Madness haha so he could sit and watch basketball for a few days.) I never wanted him to feel pressure from me to do it, but he did understand that without me being on birth control we would have to use condoms and he didn’t want to do that. He was also firmly in the no more kids camp, so that helped too I think.
Anonymous
This was my approach once it was time. We had discussed it in the abstract as part of our reproductive plans so this wasn’t coming out of nowhere. I asked a trusted friend for a doctor recommendation and passed along the information for my husband to set up the appt.
Anonymous
Convo:
Me: donwe want more kids?
Him: nope
Me: I’m sick of birth control, it’s your turn.
Him: I’m on it
(Weeks pass, nothing happens)
Him: it would be really helpful if you could make me an appt, you’re much better at figuring all that out (which doctor for our ins etc)
Me: you are an adult, make the appt yourself. But I will give you a list of 4 offices locally that work with or insurance.
Then he scheduled it and did it .
AnonInHouse
Our conversation went like yours, except my husband went ahead and had the procedure without further prompting. Really, really, really not wanting a third kiddo was sufficient motivation :-)
Also, I think peer groups can make a difference. Almost all of my husband’s coworkers – who are his primary friends – have had vasectomies (he’s in a workplace where it’s not weird to know this!), so I think that helped normalize it.
CKB
My convo was similar.
Me: we’re done, right?
Him: yup
Me: well, my IUD just fell out
Him: I better make my vasectomy appt then. So much easier for me to do that than you to get a tubal, and I dont really like the IUD anyway.
Was a non issue and an easy procedure for him.
anon
Agree with most commenters, you can declare that you will no longer carry the burden of whatever bc you employ right now. He might not want to get snipped, and might prefer condoms. That’s just one more possible outcome.
Anon
Condoms 100% of the time. No bareback just-this-once or for “safe” times. No glove, no love.
I am not above finding the name and phone numbers of doctors for my doctor-avoidant husband, but I will absolutely not make appointments for him.
Fortunately he was not a giant baby about the big snip and took care of everything himself. It was him and a bag of frozen peas and “ow, my balls” for a long weekend, and me trying to find stuff to do with two kids under two (hence the snip) in order to keep them off daddy’s lap.
Anonymous
I have been to exactly one Barre class. I loved it!
I want to bribe myself to keep going with a new outfit (after a few more classes).
I just wore capri leggings and a t shirt. Some people had these loose t shirty things on over a tighter tank. I think I want that combo. What are those called? Where do I get them?
Lana Del Raygun
Have you looked at dancewear retailers?
ElisaR
Athleta has a lot of “barre” gear. My favorite barre shirt came from Old Navy active line. Lululemon too but that’s more $.
Leatty
Check out the GapFit Breathe Side-Tie T-Shirt. I have it in several colors and wear it over a tank to yoga. I also have another one from gap (the roll sleeve one?) that I also like, but it doesn’t stay put as well during inversions.
Career Advice - Striking Out at OIC
Hoping someone here can help convince me I will have a career that is worth law school debt. I have begun my second year of law school, and went through OIC. I am top half of the class, GPA between 3 and 3.5, and although I typically interview well if I can get it the door, nothing is coming to fruition. Career advice please? I do want to start out at a firm, so if there is anyone that took a different path to law firm life, how did you do it? Any other advice for me, especially about what to do next summer? All advice welcome but be nice please – already feeling pretty low. Thanks.
Anonymous
Keep looking aggressively!!! So many firms do not go to OCI
Anon.
+1 my 1L and 2L summers were at two different firms. Neither from OCI.
Anon
Top half of your class at what level school, and what debt load are we talking about?
AFT
+1. These are important questions. Also what geographic area you’re in, including whether you’re in a major market and/or the town/city you want to stay in.
Anon
+2
Anon
Adding to my questions at 4:12 pm: what area of law? Some areas of law are harder to find outside of big firms. Some are easier to find if you’re willing to relocate (e.g., oil and gas). Some are more conducive to small firms or even setting up your own shop after graduation (e.g., wills and trusts).
My biggest concern for the OP is that she appears to be following a script, but not a particularly detailed script – go to law school, get “good” grades, do OCI, job that pays off debt should happen. Yeah, if the law school is Yale, that’s probably how it works out, but if she’s not at a really outstanding law school, a sub-3.5 GPA won’t get her into OCI and BigLaw. She’ll need a far more aggressive plan re: finding a job, handling the debt (if her school is expensive), determining which area of law she wants, and charting a career.
Anon
You need to get outside the OCI model. Your grades are fine but are apparently not going to get you in the door– but you can get in the door in other ways. 1) Networking– are you a member of Inn of Court, or other places where you can meet attorneys from firms where you want to work? 2) Resume– what are you doing besides your grades? Trial comp, moot court, clerking during the school year at a small solo practice? Have you applied with any local judges (sometimes they want high GPAs, but sometimes not)? 3) Other Firms– research firms in your area that do not come to OCIs. You need to clerk somewhere and it may not be the shiny firms that come to OCIs. But there are plenty of firms who don’t have time for OCIs but would be glad to hire a clerk. Do some research and call them! Ask some 3Ls what they suggest. Look at other people for examples of where you can work. Not everyone is working at an OCI firm… not everyone has a 4.0.
As a 2L you have time to clerk a couple days a week at a smaller firm, with a government office, etc. You need to build some things other than your grades into your resume. And you need to go outside OCIs to look for a job for next summer. You should look for a clerkship for the rest of this semester, and you should line another one up for next semester. After you have those secured, you will be in a better spot to line up a clerkship for next summer.
Ms B
All good advice.
Anon
If you’re at a law school that normally hires in the local area (a low-ranked state school, a tiny private school, etc), just make sure you’re getting good experience out of your internships, regardless of who they’re with. Local ties + actual experience can beat out out-of-town + making photocopies. Also consider working for the government. The pay isn’t good, but the experience is generally very valuable.
Anon
Look at local/state government, could give you lots of practical experience, regardless of what you decide to do after graduation.
Anonymous
There is something besides biglaw life, despite what OCI may have you think, and the majority of legal jobs in this country aren’t at the biggest firms. Talk to career services about what the hiring cycle looks like for smaller firms in your market or if there are in-house or agency placements that come up later. Those jobs often can’t plan their hiring needs that far in advance. I didn’t get a job through 2nd year OCI, but had a job that following summer. I graduated without a job, moved across the country, and found a job while studying for the bar. I’ve worked for biglaw, solo practitioners and several sized firms in between. There are many paths to firm life.
Law School
I was 6th in my class after first year at a low T1 law school, got tons of OCI, and got zero job offers–I was not a good interviewee at all as young me. I ended up at a small firm that did not do OCI for two summers, where I got tons of great hands on experience (including working on a US Supreme Court brief). I then did a state judicial clerkship and went to work for a medium firm. Eventually, through an acquisition, I ended up working at (and becoming a partner at) one of the big firms that had interviewed me and not made me an offer when I was a 1L/2L. I’m almost 20 years out now, and I have had a rewarding career.
That said, I agree with others asking about geographic market, etc. The legal market is much different now than it was when I graduated.
Sparky
Ask career counselor to look over your resume and whether your law school has a job portal. You should also check Indeed and other job sites, small and mid sized firms tend to post jobs there because its easier than traditional advertising.
Leatty
At my law school (top 50, top school in my large state), the overwhelming majority of students did not get summer offers through OCI for the summer after 2L, and many of them did not have jobs lined up until the second half of 3L
year (or later). It was during the height of the recession, so I’m not sure if that is normally the case. I did not receive any offers through OCI (top 33% after 1L, top 15% (?) after 2L) and found mine through a family connection (my uncle was a small business owner who reached out to several lawyers he know who worked at small firms, and I interviewed at several until I received an offer at a small firm in the middle of nowhere). Although I received an offer from the small firm I worked at, I declined it and received an offer several months later at a smallish firm (~20 lawyers) in my preferred location during 3L.
All that is to say that you shouldn’t freak out just yet. I’d instead focus your energy on identifying what you want to do after law school – do you want to litigate or do transactional work? What practice area? Then, once you do that, figure out how to get experience/knowledge in those areas. For example, if you want to practice employment litigation, take an employment law course; look for a part-time job during the school year at a local firm that practices employment law; apply for an externship at a federal or state EEO/DOL agency. Focus on getting your grades as high as you can this year and next. Get on law review/a journal/moot court. Also, does your school offer legal aid clinics that allow students to serve as lawyers to indigent clients? If so, figure out what you need to do to do one of those clinics in your third year, even if it isn’t in the same practice area.
The original Scarlett
So I think you’re asking the right questions about whether to cut your losses or stick it out. My answer would depend on how highly ranked your school is and whether it’s realistic to find a job outside OCI, how much debt you’re taking on and how badly you want to be a lawyer/ understand what that looks like. There’s a lot of paths outside of big law for sure, but they’re tough with debt and there’s also a lot of other careers out there that aren’t being a lawyer. I knew a few people who dropped out after unsuccessful bids to get on the big law track and they ended up successful, happy and doing other things with a lot less debt.
Lana Del Raygun
Do bootcut or straight pants (full length) look better with flats? It’s a business casual office and the flats would be round toe, since I can’t cram my feet into pointy shoes.
Anon
Straight, for sure. Pointy flats are much better with bootcuts.
Anon
On the subject of convertible backpacks, I just got one from Caraa and have used it for a week (I’m also the person who reported back on the other backpack last week). This one is very nice, padded straps, super easy convert, nice ergonomic features like side entry pockets for phone and wallet. Feels really nice (smooth nylon, leather, zippers) and looks pretty to me. Most importantly, it’s just big enough for my 13″ laptop and all the other stuff I carry without looking like I’m being eaten by my bag. Weighs about 2 lbs. Disappointingly, does NOT have a luggage sleeve.
Anon
https://caraasport.com/collections/studio-2-collection/products/studio-2-medium-twotone?variant=21453223460944
Anon
Oops, that was supposed to thread above.
Aerin
Oo, I have this bag! I bought it for my first trip to Europe because I wanted something smaller and secure than my usual bag (Handbag of Holding from ThinkGeek, RIP) and also something that would look good with various outfits. Worked like a charm, and holds quite a lot for its size. I don’t really use it in daily life, but for travel it’s aces.