Wednesday’s TPS Report: Phoenix Silk Crew Neck Tee

118 Comments

1. Love it, but out of my price range, I’m afraid.

   1. Ditto!

   2. Same. And it makes me sad because I can see getting a lot of wear out of this top, too.

2. Very pretty. Love the bateau neckline especially.

3. I love it too (birds yay!) but sizes only go up to 10, and I’m only a 10 in crazy vanity sizing.

4. I like it too, and I totally love silk, but would only let someone buy it for me as a gift. Again, $110 for a blouse is too expensive, especially since I saw one at Kohls just like this for $27 (but not silk).

5. I love this blouse. But I know it’s not coming home with me tonight.

   Also–I’m wondering if anyone has insight into what happens to me almost every single time I try on clothes in a store. I’m 5’3″ and about 115 lbs, so for the major retailers usually a 0-Petite. Yet without fail, sales associates bring me much larger sizes. If I ask for an XS, they frown and say something like “well, you could try it.” If I head into the fitting room on my own carrying the size I assume will best fit me, they call in after me “let me know if you need a larger size–and don’t feel bad about it!” Or “we have a medium at the other store if the small is too snug.” Then when it turns out that the size is right, or even a little roomy on me, they exclaim how much smaller I am than they had thought.

   Obviously there’s nothing wrong with being any size. But the fact that this happens to me CONSTANTLY has me wondering if I’m doing something to appear substantially bigger than I am. This happens no matter what I am wearing, and at every time of year. I have a full face and some curves, but I can’t think of anything that would throw people off this far. I feel that my clothes fit properly. Also, these are female retail clerks–the people who should be most clued in to what size someone probably is. Right? I have also worked clothing retail myself, and still have no clue what’s going on. If anyone has ideas, or also has this experience, I’m interested to hear your thoughts. It wouldn’t be that big a deal to me, but as I said–this happens to me almost every time I try things on. If nothing else, it’s awkward and inefficient.

   1. I dont mean this rude but my sister is 5’7″ weights 115 pounds and is a size 4. I too fail to see how you are a zero at that height and weight.

      1. Depends entirely on the clothes. I’m 5’6″ and about 125 right now–I’m a size 4 bottom, size 0/2 top. When I was 115, I was a size 2 bottom. Or sometimes a size 0. But then, sometimes a 4. Sizes vary largely by brand, and petites are cut differently from regular sizes.

         1. I’m 4’11 and about 110. I usually wear a 4P on the bottom and 2P on the top, so I can see how you can be a 0P. Maybe your curves and your “average” (at least to me) height throws them off? I get the same thing sometimes because I’m very pair shaped. I’m only a size 2/4 because I’m so short.

            1. “Pear” shaped. Oy.

         2. You make her point. You were 3″ taller and a size larger. I just dont think the weight/height for a size 0 is realistic, unless all her clothes are worn skin tight or she has 20lb breast implants on a 90lb frame.

            1. Dude, people are different and have different body types even at hte same weight and height (that are completely unrelated to their worth as people even!). Meditate on this truth and maybe you’ll gain enough inner peace that you don’t feel the need to tear down the body type of a complete stranger on the Internet.

         3. Wow, kz, you’re my body double :).

      2. perhaps the OP is v fit? i have known women who were very lean and muscular and was always shocked to hear their weight! muscle mass weighs a lot more than you think it would.

         i think sizing is a bit more complicated than just weight as well, as some people just have bigger builds than others (wider shoulders or hips, for ex), even if they have the same weight.

      3. Fat weighs more than muscle. No two women are going to be the same size at the same weight unless they have exactly equal distributions of each.

         1. Actually, muscle weighs more than fat and is less “fluffy” so as you gain muscle and lose fat, your weight can go up a bit while your measurements can shrink.

            I’m 5’3.5″ and weigh about 117, I’m a 2 in pants (curvy fit) at Loft, I think a 4 at Gap, 4 at Old Navy. Tops are a much wider range – I’m usually an extra small at department stores and also at Loft. Old Navy varies, but usually small or extra small. For a while the ZEROS at BR were too big, but I think they had some unusual vanity sizing going on for a while there. Now I think I’m probably a 2, but their pants really don’t work for me.

            The OP may have broader shoulders, curves, and also may be wearing her clothes so they fit well, which all help littler people look bigger – I think a small woman who is drowning in her clothes looks even smaller. Maybe it’s also joint size? I have really small wrists but relatively big hands, which makes my wrists look tiny and people think I am thinner than I am. If you have bigger bones and less wrist/hand discrepancy, maybe you read bigger.

            Plus, you may be running into sales clerks who aren’t good at judging size. A friend of mine recently told me she is a size 16 – I would have guessed 10-12.

            1. Even more evidence of the variation in clothing sizes: I’m the exact same height and weight, and I wear a 00P in Loft bottoms/dresses.

            2. Right, sorry, that’s what I meant to say. Left that comment too early in the morning for coherency. :-)

            3. More variation: I’m 5′ 4″, 135lb and wear the same clothing sizes as you. I do a lot of weight training, so the extra pounds don’t translate into much extra bulk/volume. I wear the same clothes as I did when I was 115-120lb.

               The answer to whether muscle or fat weighs more is: they’re both the same. ;-) It’s the density that varies. A pound of muscle takes up much less volume than a pound of fat. Holding the volume constant, such as when sizing clothes, you can fit a much higher weight of muscle than fat into a pair of pants.

      4. It depends on your clothes and how your weight is distributed. I wear pretty much the same sizes as I wore when I was 10lbs lighter, but I work out more and have more muscle than I did at that weight.

      5. I get hte difference between muscle and fat. I just think maybe you really are not a size 0 and just think you are. I can fit into a size 4 dress, doesn’t mean I should, unless I’m going for that Kardashian skin tight, too small look.

      6. Anonymous, muscle weighs a lot more than fat. I’m 5’2″, 115 pounds, I’m a 32DD, size 25 pants, very fit, and I’m a 0-2 or XS in most places.

      7. Minor correction: muscle is denser than fat. Thus, it takes up less space. By volume it seems to weigh more, but 1 pound of fat and 1 pound of muscle weigh the same.

         /science nerd

         1. That’s a much more accurate description.

         2. Scully, I <3 you!

         3. Oops, should have read down before I posted this above. Sorry!

      8. @ Anonymous — It depends on the clothes, and it also really depends on the person’s height and build.

         A very good friend weighs about the same as me and is a 3-4 inches taller, one would assume she would be a smaller size if the same weight is distributed on a larger frame, and yet she usually wears a larger size than I do.

         @ Monday — I have had the same thing happen, though not as regularly. This is perhaps one of the reasons I don’t actually even talk to salespeople, usually. I think it’s a combination of shorter height + smaller frame + curves. Not comparing myself, or you, to Marilyn Monroe but I was watching Antiques Road Show the other day and they had her dress from Some Like it Hot. Everyone kept talking about how tiny it was and how tiny she was, which is odd given how often MM is trotted out on the pedestal as a bigger, curvier sort of female ideal. But she would probably be a 0P or 2P in today’s mass market sizes, too, and I bet the same thing would be happening to her in dressing rooms, too.

         If I were you, when you are feeling up for it, I would just ask the saleswoman why she thinks you need a bigger size next time it happens. After all, why not?

      9. muscle

         1. Muscle is why people often think I am 10 lbs lighter and one size smaller than I am… that and having no boobs.

            1. Me too.

      10. It really depends on the stores you shop in. I’m 5’5″ 130ish, and an xs – s on top, and a 2-8 (yes, i’m a 2 in some stores and an 8 in others!), so perhaps at the stores Monday frequents, she is a 0P, while your sister is a 4 at the stores she shops at.

          1. i have the same measurements! i have a work dress from H and M that is an 8 and a dress from ann taylor that is a 2. so weird…

             1. H&M has weird sizing – their 4 is equivalent to a 0 or 00, so an 8 would be a 2-4.

      11. It really does depend on where the weight is and if it is muscle or not. (Fat takes up much more space in clothes than does muscle, pound for pound.)

          Also, many brands’ clothes vary greatly with sizing. Sometimes I am an 00p in Ann Taylor, sometimes a 2p is too tight. 5 feet and 95 pounds. I’ve remained virtually the same weight but have dropped inches since I started some work on the machines at the gym for purposes of bone strength.

          Don’t assume that you can tell someone’s size by their height and weight, and, yes, some people like their clothes looser or tighter than do others.

      12. I was (a long time ago) 5’9″ at 125 and a size zero, so I can see 5’7″ at 115 the same.

      13. I’m 5′-4″ and 115lbs or so, and am almost always the smallest size available, or smaller. The only exceptions to that have been brands like Marc Jacobs and Marni. Theory pants are totally unpredictable, I’ve tried on 4s that were too small and 0s that were too big. J Crew 0s almost fall off me. I think different shapes may have a big influence, since people often think I weigh closer to 100lbs (not that I have any idea why they think it’s ok to tell me that, but whatever).

   2. It may just be your personality/mannerisms and the way you interact with the retail people. I’m really short and people notice that I am short but whenever they find out my actual height, they are shocked. Most people say I have the presence/personality of a much bigger person (whatever that means but I’ve heard it for years :)). I’d take it as a compliment and just roll your eyes when they tell you they’d be happy to get you a bigger size.

   3. The ‘girls’ at J. Crew did this to me so often– gave me the side-eye and a shrug or a “really?”– that I stopped shopping there. It was like a sorority where they seemed both annoyed that I was interrupting their chat with my wish to purchase clothes there and skeptical of my knowledge of my own physique… This may not have been the same experience as yours (your shop hands sound from your desciption like they were trying to be sweet, if perhaps falling short) but it has obviously stuck with me and detracted from my like of the clothes themselves. The mean girl tude was like the opposite of vanity sizing… it was like being vetted for the opportunity to buy and being fund wanting. Boo and sigh. :)

      1. That seems like a typical J. Crew to me. I walk into any of their stores, and not one salesperson even acknowledges me. Sure, I’m fat, so I can’t wear any of their clothes- doesn’t mean I’m not interested in accessories OR in buying something from my best friend’s “dream-on” wishlist.

         Even Lane Bryant offers a smile and a “Welcome” when a size 2 walks in by herself.

         1. I cannot stand the J. Crew snobbery nor do I appreciate that they will have thirty tees in an xs or s and maybe two in a m or l. Never an xl. No way the first lady dressed her curvy hips in any J. Crew store that I have encountered.

   4. Two reasons I can think of —

      (1) your body type; are you more compact/athlete vs. small boned and slender? The latter is more likely to “read” small.

      (2) because you are short, the same circumference waist on you will appear larger than someone taller, even though the same pants would fit you both.

      1. Monday, this same thing happened to me this week! I’m 5’2″, 115, and typically wear a 2P (and the occasional 0 or 4) and the personal shopper I met with at a department store (who was otherwise great) was trying to figure out my size and asked if I ever wear a 6. I don’t. Once I started trying stuff on and some of the sizes she picked swallowed me, she believed me… I was standing there in the size 2 Trina Turk shift I wore to the store, so one would think my size would have been pretty obvious!

         I think it may just have to do with being short and compact.

      2. I can add this could be because of your face shape and if you wear your hair big (volume). Your upper body is what people notice most so at the salesperson eyelevel, s/he might only focus on your face.
         I know a couple Chinese girls who are very thin and around 1m50 height but have a perfectly round face with full cheeks. They are inevitably assumed to be at least 2 sizes larger than what they are.

   5. I feel like this happens to me as well (although perhaps not as constant), and I always wonder if I’m doing something to make myself look a lot bigger than I really am! No advice, but you’re not alone.

   6. I have the opposite problem – I am a size 6/8, and salespeople are always thinking I am a 0 or a 2. I think it is because I have a very thin face and very skinny arms and legs, and those are the parts that a salesperson sees, so they assume the rest of me is correspondingly thin. They don’t see my tummy and butt because those are covered by clothes or a jacket. Since you said you had a full face, maybe salespeople see the face and assume the rest of you is also full. I find that girls who have round faces always look bigger than girls who have skinnier, more angular faces.

      1. I agree. I think the face is doing her in. I’ve sometimes seen interviews with female athletes and others with very round faces and assume they’re on the large side. Then they show a full body clip in a form fitting uniform or tight dress or whatever, and realize they’re actually quite thin! Same looking through a friend’s facebook account – I assume someone is on the heavy side based on her face and I’m surprised to see the full body shots. I can see the same happening if you’re in a store in a coat and people are mostly looking at your face.

      2. This. I am pear shaped and am much smaller on top. When I tell the sales associates that I am looking for an 8 in pants, they look at me like I’m crazy. They inevitably will bring the 8 to the dressing room, along with much smaller sizes. Since I’m already self conscious about my pear shape, this is not helpful.

         I say all this to say that its not you, its them.

   7. I’m 5’4″, 125 lbs and usually a 2 but rarely a 4 on the bottom, always an XS/0 on top, so the sizing doesn’t surprise me. Also, people usually think I’m much taller – they usually guess I’m 5’7″ or so, even though I have a terrible habit of slouching.

   8. Thanks, all, for these thoughts. Yes: I have an athletic build/composition, and also a rather outsized personality I suspect! Along with my baby-plump cheeks, I just embrace them as part of my package.

      I only posted my height and weight for perspective, but the comments that came out of that were illuminating as well.

   9. You may be more muscular or more curvy than most women your size, or just have a large frame that makes you seem broader.

      However, have you considered that maybe you tend to wear your clothes too tight? It’s possible that they’re subtly hinting that what you think fits actually is a bit too clingy or revealing. Just something to consider.

      1. Thanks for putting it politely, as opposed to the person(s) who are suggesting I have 20 lb breast implants or dress like Kim Kardashian. I’m sorry to say I regret posting, or at least under my normal name, due to those comments, which do hurt. But no, my clothes fit properly. I am not doubtful of this.

         1. Monday – I’m sorry the comments have been hurtful. I have a different perspective. I recently lost 45 lbs, but stayed the same height :) – 5 foot even. And it’s been interesting to see what fit problems have changed – and which have remained the same.

            My pant size went down. At my height, size 16 was too small at my old weight, but too oversize with respect to allover length to bother altering. This is where Chico’s was a godsend, even if I knew it was “too old” for my age. But at 130, I am firmly a size 8 – a 6 only in relaxed or full-legged pants. And I am evidently still “big” for my frame, because petite sizing is a must in order to keep the waistband somewhere south of my bra. The leg length of a 4 works, but they get longer as the size increases, so I still have to hem all my pants.

            On top, I’m still a 36D. Any fitted fitted blouse or jacket that is large enough to button will be too broad across the back, too big through the shoulders and the sleeves miles too long. Less fitted shirts work better, but there is still the risk of either swimming in them or having them much shorter in front than the back.

            Lots of detail to say: the relation btw height/weight and clothing label is not linear and absolutely nothing is wrong with YOU.

         2. I’ve noticed that commenters here are often not very nice when it comes to discussing weight and size. I’m sorry people hurt your feelings.

         3. I’m pretty close to you in size – 5’3″ and 110-15 – and I wear a size 0 pretty much everywhere, and sometimes 0p or 2p. I’m not a tight clothes person at all! :) I don’t have any advice for you though – I usually avoid salespeople cuz I like shopping to be “me” time, and can’t remember the last salesperson I asked to get me something in a certain size! But maybe they’re thinking the same thing… Regardless – size 0 is my correct size, and I’m not even kind of a Kardiashian! My mom is 5-10 pounds smaller than me, and we’ve discovered that in a lot of brands she has to go down to 00.

         4. People can be remarkably smallminded and shortsighted when it comes to certain subjects. “X doesn’t work on my body” becomes “X flatters no one,” and, “I’m Y height and Z size” becomes directly proportional to everyone else’s size regardless of the fact that women’s bodies are all different.

            It’s unfortunate. Please try not to pay the few negative comments too much attention. There are always going to be people who make snap judgments and stick to them, just like there will be salespeople who will be less than great at their jobs.

            One thought that occured to me subsequent to your post is that most salespeople at stores like JCrew, etc., are not “professional” salespeople nowadays and probably don’t spend a lot of time thinking of what size fits what person. Sort of how the women at Victoria’s Secret will usually fit you for the wrong size bra. Try not to let any of it ruin your day :)

   10. I’m 5’3 and weigh between 110 and 115. I wear a 4 at most retailers, with some exceptions (i.e., JCrew and Ann Taylor, who tend to cut their clothes large)

6. I like. How awesome would this top be with a red pencil skirt or pants?

7. Sorry, I usually try to keep it to myself when I don’t like a pick, but I actively hate this. Something about the busy pattern and the color palette says “senior citizen lunch buffet” to me. I also think it is definitely on the casual side of office-appropriate.

   1. I think it looks too “williamsburg hipster trying to hard”, especially for the office.

      1. My thoughts exactly – very hipsterish.

   2. It feels very 4th of July to me, actually. I’m not crazy about it either.

      1. This, exactly! It looks like a firework display.

   3. I see a fab decadent 30s wallpaper– I like.

   4. I totally agree. I wasn’t going to say anything either. Lol.

   5. I thought the pattern time traveled here from the 80s…

      1. Right after college, I went through a phase where I loved clothes that were I call “ugly on purpose” The quirkier/less likely that someone else would have it, the better. This shirt kind of reminds me of that.

      2. My thoughts exactly. 80s by way ofWilliamsburg, worn ironically and paired with over-sized, red plastic Sally Jessie Raphael eyeglasses.

   6. Thank you! I thought I was the only one.

      My first thought when I saw this was ‘what the devil IS that?’ Usually I like Kat’s picks, but this one? No, no, and HELL no.

      1. Could not agree more. I was amazed at how many people loved it! But hey — glad to see something I wouldn’t usually buy myself, and it’s kind of cool to see something so divisive (without people being mean about it!).

   7. I totally agree. This is just awful. Sorry..

8. Eh, I’ll be the lone voice of dissent. This is too busy for me and it looks like something my 78-year-old grandmother would wear to a fancy brunch.

   1. Wow meme, we must be cousins (or frequenting the same brunch buffets)!

   2. Agreed. I’m ok with a bold pattern but the birds are way too much.

9. I’ll be another dissenter: To me, this looks like something a faux-hipster would pick up from Urban Outfitters. Maybe to wear with high-waisted denim cutoffs or a really tight red American Apparel skirt…

   1. I don’t necessarily see “hipster,” but I do see granny. Maybe it looks better in person? The colors aren’t doing it for me here.

      1. williamsburg hipster = granny chic, hence all the confusion.

         1. I guess things have changed since I moved out of Brooklyn 9 months ago.

            1. Sadly, I fear you were a hipster now.

10. Early threadjack….To continue the heels discussion from yesterday, thank you to everyone who wrote back about the Loubies vs not debate. I am still debating mostly b/c while I do take shoes in to a cobbler regularly what ends up being ruined on my heels most of the time is the heel itself. It ends up with dings on it somehow and then it usually isn’t worth to pay the $40/$50 to repair.

    That being said, does anyone have suggestions for a great cobbler in Miami, Fla?

    TIA (again)!

    1. I don’t have Louboutins, but I have a pair of Pedro Garcia shoes which are a splurge but slightly cheaper. The soles on mine have been indestructible on concrete/cobblestone/stairs/subway/marble etc.

    2. To me, Loubis are worth it because they are so well made. Ridiculously comfortable, flattering style, keep their shape/support, and still look new after lots of use. Expensive, but lots of use over 5+ years = worth it, to me. But I don’t know that a more expensive shoe will prevent you from getting dings in the heel. Maybe something less expensive with a wood heel would be better? I have some Cole Haan Air Talias with a darker-colored stacked wood heel that are pretty comfortable and have held up well. I don’t think they are as pretty as the Loubies, style-wise , but I still wear them frequently at my business casual office (bc they are aubergine. yay).

       1. I think me and you have an identical shoe collection (Loubs + aubergine Air Talias)

          1. Love it. Someone asked me the other day if I collect anything (came up randomly when we were discussing some eccentric client), and that was when I realized – yes, yes I do. Shoes. Possibly not the wisest collectible, but makes me the happiest … :)

       2. Thank you for all the comments/responses! I think I am going to splurge on the Loubs anyway. And I am going to try to figure out the source of the dings! I have no idea where they come from and it really irks me. Sigh.

          1. one of my sources of mystery dings is when I’m scooting myself up in a rolling chair and the wheels are aligned such that they run into my firmly planted heel. I’m actually working on being more conscious of not trying to pull myself too far with one “scoot” for that reason!

          2. I would look to cobblestones and metal grates as prime suspects for the source of your dings. Dings are the main reason I rarely wear my expensive shoes outdoors and relegate them almost exclusively to the office/parties.

             Are you getting the plain black simples? I would recommend the 85 or even the 70 mm ones. I have the 70 mm and I can run around all day in them, even though I never wear heels.

    3. I have two pairs of Varda pumps. They are the most comfortable shoes I own — also the highest heel (go figure). And they last five years with normal care (ie, before the first wear, have the cobbler put rubber half soles on them and toe and heel taps and replace them all as they wear down).

       http://www.vardashoes.com

       Very well made. On the expensive side, but not like the red-soled ones.

    4. I am about to try a new cobbler in Miami Beach. I’ll update once I get the shoes back!

       1. Thanks, A!

11. This pattern is too busy for me, but I don’t wear suits.

    I could see it looking nice under a khaki or beige linen pantsuit, though.

12. Threadjack: I’m trying to think of the best way to approach my boss about several recent mistakes that I feel are largely my fault, but I’m not sure how I can do more to prevent them in the future. Case in point:

    – A proof for some graphics comes in, I view and take it around to all my managers in the office for approval. However, the one manager that really cares about a particular 6 inches of a 10 foot picture isn’t in the office (he’s overseas so couldn’t just wait until he came back). This 6 inches gets left off the final print, and we have to re-do that piece.

    – I put the wrong address on a shipment… it went to the overflow hotel for a conference, instead of the host hotel. But, when the accidental recipient called host hotel to inquire if our guest was there (since his name was on the shipment), accidental recipient was told that this guest was not at the hotel, even though he was. I spend 3 hours on the phone with the shipping company at 2 am. Shipment was delivered on time, but with lots of headache.

    – We over-book hotels for conferences, and there’s a change to the dates for our team a week before. I send around a confirmation email before sending it to the hotel. I get only one response (pretty typical, not everyone replies) that says my list is correct. I send it to the hotel, and 30 min later, someone tells me the dates are wrong for 3 rooms. Now the rooms are gone, since the hotel is over-booked.

    So, I feel like I do my best to check and double-check and confirm, and then stuff STILL blows up in my face. I feel like I need to address it with my boss, but I don’t know what to say or how to improve prevention of these issues.

    1. My instinct is that the first and third weren’t your fault at all. In the first case, the guy was out of the country; I think you can ask your superior what you should do in the future if there’s a deadline you need to meet and no chance to get graphics reviewed by all the necessary people beforehand, but then you have to proceed like he says. In the third, even if you had waited 30 minutes to send out the list to the hotel, the hotel still would have been booked in the interim, no?

       In the second case, it sounds like you did make a mistake but got it fixed without causing trouble for anyone else at your company. Not ideal, and a good reminder about paying attention to detail, but not fatal either. Unless I’m misunderstanding the situation, I would think that if you’re getting blamed for this stuff which either (a) is the result of other people’s disorganization or (b) something you’re working hard to correct, the bigger problem is your company culture.

    2. I have made the exact same mistakes as your #1 and 2 mistakes up there. Honestly, sometimes you can’t do much to avoid any of these situations. However, here is what I found helpful:

       – for projects going to print, make a checklist of everything that must be done at every stage in the printing process. Include the specific names of persons who must sign off on the proofs. If a person who should sign off is unavailable, email him or her anyway, and notify your supervisor. Let your supervisor decide whether the project should go to print without his signing off.

       – for the package scenario, other than making sure to double check addresses in the future, there’s not much you can do. If you don’t already, sign up to have the shipper automatically alert you if an exception occurs with your package. That way at least you can start running damage control ASAP.

       – for the hotel email (and for everything, really), when you email everyone, clearly state in bold type that they have a deadline of X date and time to respond and that you will be canceling any unconfirmed rooms (or whatever) at that time. Then wait an hour or two after your deadline before actually canceling. If it’s super-important, send a follow-up email two hours before your deadline reminding them to reply. People will still fail to reply, but you’ll have covered your butt.

       Hope this helps!

    3. Thanks Em and Eponine, makes me feel a little better to get some perspective.

13. Threadjack…

    Just needed to vent about this. I was just in the locker room at my gym. Two women came in. They obviously work together. One was talking about how a flight to Texas was going to cost $650 or so and she wasn’t sure she should do that. Then the other woman says that her flight to California was over $700 and her hotel came in at about $2000, because “they” were bored and spent the whole time drinking. Plus, they rang up a $400 bill at the airport bar. She told the other woman that the company doesn’t have a set budget so not to worry about expenses.

    I’m sorry. That’s just obscene to me, in this economy. Here’s hoping they don’t work for one of the big investment firms, especially the ones that received the bailout.

    1. It’s just a corporate expenditure – perks those employees get in lieu of salary. I would worry about the corporate tax code that encourages those expenditures, not the employees who happen to take advantage.

    2. I think those prices for flights are within the realm of reasonable/typical for business travel anywhere.

       $2000 for the hotel in California sounds like a lot, but isn’t crazy if it was several nights and/or multiple people. (I’m staying somewhere next week for 3 nights and it’s running $300 per night before tax; with some room service for some meals I’ll be nicely into the 4-figures.)

       I see your frustration with the bar tabs, but again, depends how many people, whether there were clients, etc.

       People in my office regularly go to Asia, sometimes last minute. Our policy allows business class for flights longer than 6 hours. Some of these business class, last-minute flights to Asia run in the $15,000 range. So I guess I don’t find those numbers too shocking!

14. Ladies, I could use some support/advice. My favorite corporate client has a new job opening that looks as though they used my resume to draft the requirements (and it’s *really* specific to certain skills/licensing that I suspect only I possess at this level). I only found out about the job opening because I check their job postings everyday since I’m so desperate to leave my current firm and go in-house with them, so it’s not as though they reached out to me.

    Once I got over the initial excitement of finally seeing the perfect job opening, I immediately applied online. Now what? Do I call up my contacts at the company and casually mention that I have applied and would appreciate any assistance they could offer (and also request that they not tell my current boss that I’m looking)? If so, do I call up the people I have the most contact with (who are not lawyers), or do I call up one of the lawyers, who I have had significantly less exposure to? Or do I trust that my experiences and skills are so on point with what they’re looking for that my resume will make it into the right hands? TIA!

    1. I hate to say it, but in this job market you should never assume that your resume will make it to the top of the pile just on its merits…

       I would reach out to the people you have the most contact with, mention that you saw the job posting and applied, and ask if they have any insight into the company’s hiring practices. Depending on how comfortable you are with them, you might ask if they would feel comfortable putting in a good word for you, or mentioning your application to the hiring committee.

       Then, see how they respond. In my experience, people will often jump at the opportunity to try and help you out. Good luck!

       1. In general, how long does it usually take to hear back about an application you’ve submitted online? I applied for a position that is somewhat competetive, at a nonprofit. If they aren’t interested, I don’t think I’ll hear back from them at all.

          I know this varies widely, but I’d kind of like to know. It’s only been three days since I turned it in, admittedly. I was thinking give it a week before I start assuming they aren’t interested?

          1. Nervy, is there a closing date on the job announcement? If so, I’d say you should hear something within 2 weeks of the closing date if they are interested in bringing you in. Also, do you know anyone there that could pass your resume along to HR?

             1. To clarify, by ‘bringing you in,’ I meant bringing you in for an interview.

             2. Unfortunately, there’s no closing date on the announcement. It hasn’t been taken down yet, so I suppose they’re still soliciting applications.

                An alumni of my school posted the position in a careers listserve — i contacted her to ask if i could reference her in my cover letter/ state that I was an employee referral, and she agreed, but said that i should apply via the site and send any other questions to her colleague (who i assume is doing the hiring). Since I’ve already bothered her once (and don’t actually know her), I feel like it would be kind of presumptuous to ask her for another favor. Maybe not, though?

             3. I wouldn’t ask another favor with respect to this position if you don’t know her well. You could always call the non-profit and ask them the closing date or how long they’re accepting applications.

                In the event that you don’t hear back, and you are still interested in the organization, I would pursue talking with the person your contact referenced and asking for an informational interview. I currently work at a non-profit and people request these all the time. Depending on your area of interest, the request may get passed around the office but someone will usually give you one in the end. Prepare well for this and make a very good impression. Ask questions that show you did your homework and know the field well. When future job openings are posted, you will already have a contact there that has met you, which should give you a leg up.

          2. Nervy, while I don’t know about nonprofit positions, I do know that at the corporation I applied to the website stated that HR would contact me within 4-6 weeks. I’ve also noticed a similar response time with other large corporations.

    2. Call your contacts and let them know you submitted, and then call your contact and let them k ow you applied. Also forward a copy of your resume and ask them to forward to the appropriate decision maker. Resumes that come from within almost always get you an interview. After that, it’s up to you.

       1. Sorry- little person came in and I didn’t notice repeating myself!

15. Threadjack…
    I am heading to Hawaii at the end of the month (yay!) and I decided it’s time for a bikini wax. I’ve NEVER had one before.
    Any tips?

    1. go to bliss spa if you have one in your area! they are very used to first time waxes and it is super quick/painless (a little expensive, yes, but worth it)

    2. Be aware that it HURTS a lot the first time. At least it did for me. Also make sure you go to a reputable waxer who comes highly recommended. My waxer has hydrogen peroxide wipes to apply to the area before the wax – apparently this helps reduce the pain somehow?

    3. Where are you located? I have had like thousands of bikini waxes in my time (OK not thousands but a lot) and I have been very, very happy with Completely Bare. They have locations in many major cities. The best thing about them is that they are super super fast. I have coarse hair and have literally spent 45 mins+ at waxing places, but Completely Bare is done in 20 mins. If you’re going to go through a painful experience, may as well make it a fast painful experience.

       1. 45 minutes?? Were you dying?? Maybe I am a wimp when it comes to pain, but my waxer does everything in 10 minutes tops and I still dread going. Can’t imagine suffering for 45 minutes. I would definitely be like the dude in 40 year old virgin who stopped in the middle of his chest wax!!

          1. ha! Agreed re pain reliever, I still take an alleve half an hour beforehand. Also, try not to go during your menstrual cycle – for whatever reason, it’s more painful then. And be sure to exfolifate for the first few days (I don’t use a scrub – Tend Skin works for me)

    4. Take some pain reliever about 30 minutes to an hour before to help with the pain.

       And once the skin is no longer sensitive, wash with a washcloth to try to avoid the potential for ingrown hairs.

       SO worth it, I hate shaving, only wax!

    5. ibuprofen about an hour before you get it done.

    6. I did it once to see what it was like, (wasn’t bad, just was a little expensive for a starving student like me) and I found it to be just fine. I went to this place called Studio Urban Wax and they were very good. I liked that they had three tiers of pricing (dependent on the waxer’s experience) so I could dip my toe in the water with minimal “costequence.” I took an ibuprofen about 30 minutes before and I took about five minutes to just chit chat with my waxer before we started. I loved the experience and did not feel the need to buy the expensive lotion they were hawking at the end. Hope this helps.

       Full Disclosure: I get braided extensions put into my head at an Ethiopian shop and even while they are pulling on my scalp (except near the front hairline) I can go to sleep.

    7. Agree with everything said so far, just want to add a couple learned-the-hard-way things that are probably obvious to those with more common sense than me: if you usually shave, make sure you have at least a week or two of growth (ideally the hair is at least a half inch long). Wear underwear that you don’t mind getting a bit messy (you will likely be given some sort of deli-paper-esque pseudo-thong for the waxing itself, but for the ride home, expect some rogue wax and lotion to find its way to your panties). If you are sensitive-skinned, give yourself at least a full day after the waxing before hitting the beach (or the plane! sometimes even jeans kinda hurt), as you will likely be a bit red and tender.

       As for the pain, I am a firm believer in mind over matter when it comes to waxing. Daydream about your trip, focus on how quickly the pain subsides after each strip is pulled, and breathe normally — it’s really not that bad!

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