Weekend Open Thread

77 Comments

1. http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/louise-et-cie-ranier-leather-bootie-women/3766215?origin=category&BaseUrl=All+Women%27s+Shoes

   Is anyone familiar with the brand Louise et Cie? I was browsing for wide widths and I saw these pop up – love them. Just curious if anyone has experience with fit or quality.

   1. Ooo those booties are cute! Louise et Cie is a new brand from Vince Camuto’s wife. I’ve tried on a couple pairs of pumps and flats and they’re comfy although I don’t have wide feet so I can’t comment on that.

   2. I have a pair of their flats in a wide width, and they fit but are sort of weirdly stiff. I feel like they make me walk a bit funny, but maybe they just need to be broken in more?

      1. I have the same issue–my flats from them totally cut up the back of my heel cause they were so stiff. I thought they just needed to be broken in, but that wasn’t the issue. I finally bought some gel heel liners to go in the shoes, and now they are just fine. My feet are on the wide end of normal, and I bought regular width and am pleased with that.

   3. I have a pair of flats from them that I wear constantly. They seem to be great quality and are holding up well. They run a bit large, but not by much (I’m a 7.5, regular width).

2. My husband and I are probably going to start TTC this year. Since it’s open enrollment time, I figured I should start thinking about whether my current health insurance would serve my needs while pregnant/delivering a baby. Would anyone be kind enough to share any wisdom about what features were important in their health insurance during pregnancy and delivery? Thanks in advance!

   1. In my experience, unless you’re one of the lucky ones who still has some type of infertility coverage that you may want to opt into, I think the safest thing to do is just get the most coverage you can. I had a PPO when I was pregnant/gave birth, but as it turned out, the out of pocket costs with deductibles and co-pays probably equaled exactly what I would have paid for our high deductible plan. Also remember that whatever plan you have will be the one baby has, so if you do have a high deductible plan, they will have their own deductible to meet upon birth.

   2. Sign up for short term disability. Pregnancy is generally covered.

   3. This seems like a small thing, but if it’s an option, go for a plan that requires a co-pay for only the first pre-natal appointment, and not the rest. I had this and shrugged over it, but given my $20 co-pay and the number of appointments I ended up having, it saved hundreds and hundreds of dollars.

   4. I’d look into what OBs you have in your area and call and ask what insurance they accept. Many of the best ones in my area only accept PPOs. I found one I really liked under my HMO and was very happy because, from start to finish, the whole pregnant was under $300 out of pocket. The PPO would have been a couple thousand out of pocket. On the other hand, having an HMO generally means more appointments. You go to the OB for the checkups but refer to out for labs, glucose tests, ultrasounds, etc., so each of these things is a separate appointment requiring time out of the office. Under a PPO, many OBs can do these things in-office so you waste less time.

   5. I had a cheap HMO both times and it was fine. I think the most important thing is to figure out which is the best hospital for you to give birth at and find a plan that will accept that hospital or medical group.

      Also, look at the scope of coverage for the various plans. Do they make you pay for each prenatal visit or just the first? What is the birth co-pay? I think I paid $250 for hospital/birth and $20 for my first prenatal and that was it, though I did have all kinds of insurance hassles over genetic testing that ultimately resolved themselves.

      If you think you may need IVF/fertility tratements, that obviously will be a consideration on choosing your plan.

   6. I just delivered with a PPO last year and next time I want to try an HMO. Billing for the pregnancy and delivery with the PPO has been a disaster. My husband is a smart guy and he has spent hundreds of hours sorting out billing errors and rejected claims. Even at 14 months postpartum we just got a new bill last week that we’d never seen before. I want a single copay and to be done. Its not worth the stupidity.

   7. We made sure we were on the plan that pays for all prenatal visits, 100% labor & delivery, and then all the well baby visits, etc. It should (hopefully) be the most your family is ever at the doctor in that short of a time period. We pay a higher premium, but I’d rather have the costs set while I know I will be using it frequently than try to make sure I save an equal or greater amount saved for 20% of delivery costs (which can easily be thousands of dollars).

   8. I might be a little late, but I wanted to respond in case you’re still checking. I have a plan with a fairly low out-of-pocket maximum for the year ($2500). We conceived in March, and I had already met my out-of-pocket maximum by early July. From that point on until the end of the year, I don’t have to pay a single co-pay, and similarly the delivery will be free. My plan has co-pays for doctor’s appointments but % for tests, hospital visits, etc. After two ultrasounds and a 8 hour ER visit, those %’s quickly added up. I was very relieved that my out-of-pocket maximum was low!

      I agree with whoever said it’s nicer to have a plan with set co-pays rather than %’s, because then you know exactly what to expect. But if your out-of-pocket max is fairly low, the %’s don’t create as big of an issue.

3. Ok this is going to sound like a stream of consciousness but I really hope it makes sense and someone has some helpful advice.

   I’m 27 and increasingly dissatisfied with my life, mostly with my seemingly never-ending single status. It seems like everyone I know is getting married and I am nowhere close. I’m becoming increasingly obsessive about it – I find it occupies my mind and thoughts and conversations almost constantly when I’m not working (and even when I am). I’m dating pretty frequently but it rarely gets past a couple dates and I’m getting so frustrated with the fact that I think I’m a pretty decent catch but no one wants to date me. I don’t think it’s that I’m dating the wrong types of guys because I date all sorts of people I think. I just don’t understand how people make it work.

   I’ve considered therapy but I don’t know how to spark it up or find a therapist. And then what do I say? I’m coming to see you because I’m sad that I’m still single?

   More than anything, I hate myself for feeling this way. I have an otherwise great life – good job, great friends, nice home that I own, freedom to do almost anything I want but still I can’t stop obsessing over this seemingly huge hole in my life.

   Any advice/suggestions/commiseration?

   1. Can’t give you any advice but I am right there with you. Life is super good. Just want to find someone to share it with. Everyone else (literally all but maybe 2 of my friends in my city, and all of my close friends) has seemed to.

      In college and grad school I never had trouble finding relationships. Post grad school, though, is an entirely different story. Dating blows and I can’t believe I’ve been single for two and a half years, and I’m starting to feel like it will never happen for me.

      The only thing I can do is remind myself: it’s better to be alone than with the wrong person. And don’t hate yourself for feeling that way- it’s normal to want a relationship. Just treat yourself well.

   2. You’re still really young and have plenty of time to find the right relationship. But if you really are obsessing about wanting to be married as much as you say, this may be apparent to guys you date, and could be off-putting. Maybe a therapist could help you feel less anxious about this?

      1. + 1 There are definitely some guys for whom this would translate to pressure, at least in their minds even though that may not be your intention.

   3. Why does it rarely get past the first couple of dates?

   4. Also, about seeing a therapist, you say, “And then what do I say? I’m coming to see you because I’m sad that I’m still single?”

      But you also say, “More than anything, I hate myself for feeling this way. . . I can’t stop obsessing over this seemingly huge hole in my life.”

      That’s your therapist prescription right there.

      1. +1. And I think these are very valid reasons!

      2. Herbie speaks the truth, these are totally valid reasons for seeing a therapist (especially since it is clearly so distressing to you that you are feeling this way). Your therapist will not find it strange that you are there to talk about your love life, or your lack thereof.

         I’m pretty perpetually single myself and only a little bit older than you. I tend not to date a lot, so the advice I would give you is probably the opposite of what I would give myself: is it possible that your’e dating too much? You don’t wnat to burn out, or to lose perspective on how good your life actually is, even if it’s not everything you’d ideally imagined.

         As for things only lasting one or two dates — I suspect (anecdotally) this is kind of the norm, especially for online dating. Doesn’t make it any less frustrating, though. Hang in there — it does get better, one way or another.

   5. I think a great way to meet a future partner is through friends– it gives you a better chance of finding someone with the same values as you. Do your (girl) friends know you feel this way? If not, please tell them. Let it be known that you want them to introduce you to their husbands’ single friends.

      1. This is a good point. I too was unhappy single but unwilling to settle. Despite my unhappiness, the rest of my life was pretty good and I unknowingly said and did things that made everyone around me thing I was completely content with all aspects of my life.

   6. Question: *Do* you think it’s better to be alone than in a relationship with the wrong person?

      I’m by no means suggesting it will never happen to you or that you should *give up*, but I think that getting really, truly comfortable with the idea that given the 2 options you’d be much happier by yourself will help improve your outlook for the time being. Then finding someone becomes less of a goal and more of a cherry on top of a life that you already find fulfilling and happy.

      I say this because it’s not that hard to be with someone. You could be married next week if you really, really wanted to be. Plenty of pretty horrible, abusive people are married, and many people put up with it because of the vision of their life that we’ve all been conditioned to have. What you’re doing – not settling, holding out for the real thing – is much, much harder. I’m sure you know this and I’m sure you remind yourself of it all the time, but I hope hearing it from a stranger will help a little bit!

      1. I think it’s absolutely better to be alone than with the wrong person. I just think it’s really hard to accept that at a given point in time, those might be your only choices. Or not know how to make meeting the right person a real possibility. I think it’s rarely clear what might be an immediate possibility.

      2. +1. Better be alone than wish you were. I’ve been there, and wasted too many years getting to the other side.

   7. Yay! Open Thread’s! I love Open thread’s and Donna Karan. She make’s good clotheing!

      As for the OP, doubel hug’s to you. Youre only 27 but I’m 33 and in pretty much the same boat. But fear not, b/c you are a VERY successful woman, have freind’s and have SO much else positive to live for and look forward to, so there is NO need to fret that you have NOT found Mr. Right, YET. I say YET b/c he is in all likelihood just like you and he will be good, when you find him. I have had so many BAD releationship’s that it is actually worse, b/c I get all excited about thing’s then they blow up, either b/c the men are realy boy’s who do NOT want a releationship, but onley to have sex, after which they lose interest, or they are drunk’s, who care mostly about themselves and NOT you, and are 100% disgusteing with their vomitting and drinkeing while you are trying to keep the releationship together, or others are old bald men with bad breathe who are still MARRIED (or sepearated) who just want to see you with your clothe’s off, and want you to do FOOEY thing’s for them in the bedroom even tho you do NOT find them sexueally attractive. And there are alway’s the guy’s on the street makeing noises with their mouthe’s that somehow they think will make you want to pull your panties down for them! DOUBEL FOOEY on that!!!!

      So consider it a bonus that you have NOT have had to deal with alot of these looser’s. It is exhausteing, but you have to listen to what peeople tell you, like my dad. I read your p’ost to him and he says that we are all special and have thing’s that all men want, but you should ONLY share that with a guy who is decent (e.g. does NOT exhibit the trait’s listed above). He says that you will find a guy, like I will also, as long as you stay healthy (both in attitude as well as in body). You should get out and get your endorphin’s goeing by walkeing 10000+ steps a day and you will feel alot better with that goal. He also warned me to do the same b/c of my own personal tuchus issue, which you probabley don’t have yet at age 27. He say’s to be very careful with men b/c if you are sucesful, and by haveing your own house so young, you must be– men will try to take advantage of you. He say’s NOT to have sex with guy’s right away, like he warns me, b/c they will not respect you and will onley think of their own satisfaction. Dad think’s that if you are in NYC, you should call me and we could meet Myrna and you can see from her –who is also single — that there is alot to live for even if you do NOT have a guy around 24/7. I know I can sureley live without the loosers that want to be my boyfreind.

      I think that if you are dateing men now, one will stand out sooner or later as of quality, and you can then try him on for size. So hang in there and feel free to respond to me and the other OP’s who are very smart also on this important topic. Remember what my dad says: “Irespective of anything else, you are the master of your own universe, so make sure to remember this and never sell yourself short!” Dad is MENSA smart, but I think we all understand this.

      As to the rest of the hive, have a happy Haloween weekend! YAY!!!!!

      1. Great advice, Ellen. But don’t just settle for the first circumcised guy who asks to marry you. There are many guys who’d I’m sure be anxious to marry a woman like you, notwithstanding your overbearing dad.

   8. What struck me about your post is the feeling bad about feeling bad part. I completely understand, it feels so irrational to be discontent when you have so much. You should try therapy, and it’s not stupid to say to the therapist exactly what you said to us. They will not think you’re silly because it’s their job to help.

      I’m doing yoga teacher training right now, and we just read a book by Lama Marut, “The Spiritual Renegade’s Guide to the Good Life.” It’s sort of buddhism light. One of the things I really took to heart is that you are the only person that can make you happy or unhappy. Jobs, things, even people only hold the value that we ascribe to them. Sorry to get all hippie bullsh!t on you, but that may be useful.

   9. No thoughts, just commiseration–I am right there with you. I am very happy with my life, my job, my apartment, etc., but am early 30s, have been single for almost 3 years, and can’t seem to understand why. I have done many of the things the posters here mention–trying to meet someone through friends, trying to be happy and not seem too desperate, etc. I, like you, go on lots of dates with a variety of people, keep an open mind, and also don’t often get past a few dates. Like you, I don’t understand why.

      I think part of the problem is that after college/grad school, many people have already found or quickly find their partners, and while I’m certain there are some great men out there, it seems like a large portion of the pool of single men is made up of “Peter Pan” men who haven’t yet grown up. There’s also the problem, much discussed here, that online dating creates an issue of there being too many options–so people don’t commit as easily because there’s always someone (or 3, or 10) else to consider.

      If you find out the answers, please let us know–until then, just sending virtual hugs.

   10. It sounds like you’re in a rut. I’ve been there. Yeah, the romantic aspect is part of it, but there’s also more to it – you need to be passionate about more things in your life than just another person. Think about all the awesome things you want to do “someday” (or things that you think an awesome person would do) and start doing them. Want to get SCUBA certified and go diving in Thailand? Do it. Want to climb El Capitan? Now is the time. Backpack around for a month? Get your yoga teacher certificate? Run a marathon? Throw a very elaborate party? Go out on the town and kill it dancing with friends every week? Do it. It kind of sounds dumb, but once I thought of all of these kinds of things that an awesome person would start doing and started doing some myself, I felt so much more excited about my life. Or you meet new people, etc and just get energized by that.

       I have spent a lot of time feeling exactly like how you feel. Years. I dated, with no success, on pretty much every major dating site (there’s some overlap, but if you’re stuck with one, try another). I took breaks. I rejoined. Then I started up again this summer and FINALLY found someone I like who I am excited about, who likes me back. My life is so busy now with all of the things I’ve built into it, and working, that with adding a new person to it there is not enough time to fit everything in that I love anymore.

       I don’t really know what to say other than I think most people feel like how you feel, even for long stretches of time, and maybe you will never find someone, maybe you will soon, maybe it will take a few years. But really, I prepared myself for the fact that I may be alone forever despite my best efforts. Once I was fine with that (and it’s not an easy thing to do, honestly, I felt like I was mourning) things were just so much better.

   11. As for how to find a therapist – do you have any girl friends you could ask for recommendations? I used to think this was weird and then I realized that pretty much everyone I knew was either seeing a therapist or had in the past and most people are really glad to “out” themselves on this fact and happy to share their contacts. Yes, I do think that once you find someone you would essentially say what you said in your original post. After that, the therapist will ask the questions and steer the conversation.

       Given that it doesn’t sound like you are having a hard time meeting plenty of people and having lots of first dates, it seems like the problem is something that a therapist can likely help you with. It’s impossible to tell from your post what it could be but it may be invaluable to get an impartial person to help you sort it out.

       And we all feel bad about feeling bad about all sorts of things in our lives. Try not to judge yourself too harshly. Hugs.

       1. What about emailing that guest poster from before… isn’t she a therapist?

       2. also re: finding therapists–can you tell us where you’re located? I can recommend someone great in the LA area, and I’m sure others on here would be happy to do the same if they’re in your city.

   12. I went through something like this a few years ago, before I met my now-fiance. I was having a really hard time being single and it was all I could focus on, even though everything else in my life was pretty great. And on top of that, just like you, I felt like a crazy person for feeling so bad about this one aspect of my life, which just made things worse. I definitely feel for you (it was a rough time in my life), but things did turn around for me eventually.

       A few things that helped:

       A great therapist who helped me get a better grasp on my anxiety around being single/my perceived complete lack of control over my relationship (ask friends, check out the Psychology Today website, or call your firm’s Employee Assistance Program for a referral). Therapy helped me realize that I had this subconscious illusion that once I met the right person, the rest of my life would magically be fine – like meeting someone and getting married is a guarantee that the rest of your life is going to be smooth sailing and nothing bad is going to happen to you because you have someone to help you through it. While marriage and being partnered certainly has it’s benefits, my therapist helped me realize that there are no guarantees, married or single, against bad things happening to you. Coming to terms with that gave me a much different outlook on dating and marriage.

       Making new friends/investing in my own life. I threw myself into volunteering, working out, and meeting new girlfriends. I found that I was a lot happier when I was sweating through bootcamp or laughing with a friend over coffee, so I tried to do more of that. When I first met my now-fiance, my social calendar had become so packed that it was actually hard to schedule time to go out on dates over the weekends (he ending up having to take me out on Sunday nights). Being busy and doing things I enjoyed made it tough to dwell on how much I hated being single and it also made me realize I’d have a pretty full life, even if I never met anyone.

       Online dating, ironically enough. Whenever I started dating a new guy and it ended, I would always be irrationally devastated, because it felt like I’d never meet anyone else and that I really would be single forever. Online dating actually made me less anxious about dating, because if it didn’t work out with one guy, there were so many more options. It doesn’t work for everyone, but it really took a lot of the pressure out of dating for me.

       1. This is excellent advice.

          I know it may sound trite to say “work on yourself” when what you want is to work on being with someone else, but it makes all the sense in the world. Not only will you find greater joy in the life you have now, you’ll be more attractive to men and–here’s the real kicker–when you do find Mr. Wonderful and settle down (with or without kids) you’ll have appreciated the time you had alone to take the vacations you wanted to take, read on Saturday morning, etc. Don’t get me wrong–I love my kids–but boy do I miss those days from my late 20s sometimes when my only care in the world was myself. Selfish? Yep.

   13. “When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough” by Harold Kushner

       there’s also … Loss of Innocence – Growing Up Without Illusions, but I can’t recall the author. Old, 1980s but fabulous for young adults.

       Don’t hesitate to locate a therapist – perfect setting to explore those feelings of worry, anxiety, and discomfort with your thoughts and perspectives. That’s what they do! Best wishes to you.

   14. The only advice I have is to reframe how you look at dating as you’re going to need to date if you want to get married. If you view it as a chore/negative/tiring, etc., you’ll never go out with enough people or be in the right frame of mind when you are out to meet someone. I’d also just give yourself permission to fall for someone. I think it’s really easy to be self protective and if you let that go a little, it gets easier to meet someone.

   15. That’s a hard place to be! I was there for many years – not understanding why I couldn’t find the right person for me. I did go to therapy and basically said what you said – I’m sad that I’m single and don’t know why it’s not working out for me. I found it to be an incredibly healing and supportive space for me to open up about it and gave me the courage to try new approaches. It helped me to let go of my frustration and approach dating with less anxiety and frustration. I also did try online dating and it helped me to feel like there really are lots of options and many good guys out there and took the pressure off. It’s hard to feel stuck, but it really is possible that you will meet a great match for you, and it might not be that far off!

       I feel like when you’re single people constantly give you advice and it’s easy to feel like other people have something figure out that you don’t, but I would say – don’t doubt your worth or your lovability because you’re single. Sometimes we seriously need a little bit of luck to meet the right person, and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Be kind to yourself!

   16. There was a post not too long ago from a guest poster who is a therapist who does Skype sessions. Maybe reach out to her?

       Hope this helps :)

   17. I’ve felt this way before, and I highly recommend therapy. It can really help you reverse these negative, obsessive thought patterns. The best way I can explain therapy is that nothing changed… yet everything changed. My life didn’t suddenly change overnight, but the way I looked at things and the way I approached things did, and then my life started to change because of my new approach and perspective. It definitely can’t hurt! Ask your friends if they can recommend a therapist.

       A few other thoughts:

       Have you read “It’s Not You” by Sara Engel? I can’t recommend it enough. The author was single throughout most of her thirties and she couldn’t figure out why. Finally, she decided to accept it and focus on other things and making her life great (like many of the posters above recommend), since you can’t always control when you’ll meet the right guy, but there are many things in your life you CAN control that will make it better. She did end up meeting the right guy for her and things clicked pretty much instantly, which only drove home the point that there was never anything wrong with her before she met him — she just hadn’t met the right guy.

       As some other posters have mentioned, there is intense pressure in one’s late twenties to couple up and get married. You’ll see some people make the wrong choices just to succumb to that pressure and fit the status quo. Some of those marriages work, but others don’t. Better to wait until the right guy comes along than pair up just for the sake of pairing up. I firmly believe it’s NEVER too late to meet the right person, and even though you might wish you could just press a button and make him appear now so you can get on with your life (I definitely feel that way sometimes!), all you can do is put yourself in situations where you’ll be more likely to cross paths with the right guy. Online dating, setups, Meetup groups, cultural/sport/college alumni group activities are all good ways. Don’t just do things to meet guys (although that can be a good thing to keep in the back of your mind); also look to expand your social circle. You never know who might have a brother or cousin or coworker to set you up with. It also helps to make other single friends who are going through the same thing so you can commiserate on your dating ups and downs and not feel so alone in this.

       Good luck, and keep us posted on how things go!

   18. OP here. Thank you so much ladies for all of your helpful and supporting advice. I feel much better knowing I’m not alone and that this is normal. I’m going to try to find a therapist so hopefully he or she can just help me relax about this whole thing.

       Thanks again – I really appreciate it! I really needed this thread.

4. Thank you very, very much to everyone for your delightful suggestions for a white rehearsal dinner dress. After sending my sister every. single. one…. something about seeing them spurred her to decide on a RTR dress she had previously liked but not been able to pull the trigger on.

   I owe ALL of you a debt of gratitude… If I had to look at one more tasteful, white, sheath or slight a-line dress with a small amount of not-over the top embellishment, I was going to lose it.

   1. That’s awesome. Now, what are you going to wear?!

      1. I’m wearing this one: https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/nicolemiller_dresses/katelacevdress
         with my sister’s blessing and encouragement.

         1. Gorgeous dress!

         2. Oooooh! That is beautiful.

   2. Sounds like she already has a dress picked out so probably a little late for this, but I think this dress is gorgeous and it’s in her price range (super on sale):

      http://www.6pm.com/bcbgmaxazria-siri-woven-city-dress-off-white

5. PSA: Silver Linings are finally back in stock! http://www.silverliningsnewyork.com/

   I have no affiliation, but I am such a big fan and have been waiting for almost a year for these to come back. I know several others on this site are also big fans, so wanted to make sure everyone was aware. No more stinky shoes!

   1. Omg thank you!!!!!!!

   2. Thank you for posting!!

6. Recommendations for a botox doc in Chicago? I am starting late (50) but am hoping I can find someone to make the grooves between my brows less scowly while still letting me look natural. Thanks.

7. I’ve got a 2 day meeting next week that I’ll be traveling to. It’s okay to wear the same black skirt suit both days, right? I’ll have black tights and the same black shoes, but would obviously swap out the shirt. Or should I just bring a grey plaid blazer that works with the skirt?

   1. Unless where you’re going it extremely cold, you could also try wearing the tights one day and not wearing them the other.

      1. Oh, I like that idea. It’s a city that could go either way in mid-November, so I’ll keep an eye on the weather.

   2. I would bring the plaid blazer, but that’s me. People are probably going to be seeing you mostly from the waist up, so it would be nice to have a different look. ( although most people might not notice or care!). If you only take the suit, one day I’d wear a shell and a statement necklace, the other a collared shirt and a scarf. Just to make it a little different.

   3. Of course it’s fine to wear the same suit two days in a row, especially if you are wearing a different shirt on the second day. No-one will care, and they may not even notice. Bolster your courage in wearing the same suit two days in a row by G**gling “10-Item Wardrobe”.

   4. Bring the blazer. I’d rewear it for a 3+ day meeting, but for a two day I wouldn’t do both the same skirt and jacket.

      1. +1. I wouldn’t wear the same suit two days in a row, even if you’re swapping out accessories and shell.

      2. Agreed. Unless travel to this location is particularly difficult or you are being forced to fly Spirit and avoid baggage fees, bringing only one suit strikes me as odd. If you are very junior, people might notice but not care, but I would be shocked if people didn’t notice.

   5. I’d bring a second bottom half in case I dumped lunch or coffee in my lap.

      1. Yes, this would be my advice too. I’m a slob, so bringing only one suit would guarantee that I’d spill something on it and have no backup. Even with a black suit – given my luck, someone would spill bleach or glue or something non-removable.

8. Ugg. There was the perfect pair of casual ankle boots at Plato’s yesterday, and when I went back today, they were gone. Very sadface.

   I like this skirt, I tend to like things that are very subtly “blingy.” I’m not so keen on the chiffon godets, but I love a metallic thread interspersed in a tweed or similar. I think it is a nice way to add just a little “oomph”

   Not for everyday, but it is a nice way to elevate an outfit.

   Clouds are rolling in, temps are dropping. Points west of us are slated to get several inches of snow. We shall see for tonight/tomorrow.

   1. I’ve decided thatI like the chiffon godets, but it was a hard call. I’m not usually a godet fan in their typical evenly spaced arrangement, but I like them as dressed-up back vents on a special occasion skirt. I really like the metallic tweed. This would be a great item to have on hand.

      There is actual sunshine right now. The first break in days from pouring rain. Fingers crossed the clearing holds for a few more hours!

9. Love this skirt!

10. Does anyone remember the poster who was going to start a fashion blog based on thrift store finds? I was thinking about it recently but could not for the life of me remember what name she settled on. Thanks!

    1. It’s Medic Maggie. There’s a link to the blog in her name.

       1. Thank you!

11. If you are interested in a philadelphia meetup, please email me at philadelphiacorp o r e t t e [at] outlook dot com (remove the spaces).

    Daily readers, sorry for the repeat posts.

12. I’d be interested to see the article about beading being linked to child labor! Yikes.

    1. http://ilrf.org/in-the-news/special-report-price-sparkle-child-slavery

13. Let’s say Persons A and B are together. Person B meets Person C, who is single. C is told about A but does not know A. B and C get together.

    1. Is C at all responsible because C knew about A but got together anyway or is B solely responsible because B’s the only one who broke a vow/promise/agreement with someone?

    2. Do the genders of A, B, and/or C matter? Does the definition of “get together” matter?

    3. If A and C are women, B is a man, does C become more responsible under some sort of “female solidarity” umbrella?

    1. 1. Responsible how? C isn’t responsible for poisoning the relationship, but it isn’t ideal behavior. C’s knowledge of A’s existence doesn’t mean C knows the contours of the A/B relationship, so being responsible for it is silly.

       2. The definition of “get together” absolutely matters. Hanging out? A lot? Meeting without B telling A? Romantic but not sexual? How frequently?

       3. Certainly not to me. Having a uterus does not automatically make you my ally. Life is infinitely more complex than that.

    2. 1. I think B is the ‘most’ responsible. It’s unclear from your story whether or not C knew that A and B were in a monogamous relationship (and I’m assuming that’s the case). If C knew, I don’t think C was a great person either, but that really depends for me on the level of information that C had about the state of the relationship between A and B.

       2. Gender doesn’t matter. The definition of ‘get together’ definitely matters – are you talking about sex or just hanging out? I’m also assuming that there’s some sort of cheating happening, but that’s also unclear.

       3. No. And for that matter, I think displacing anger from the cheater onto the ‘person cheated with’ is just not very productive. It’s B that owes A loyalty, not C. C may be a shitty person, but there’s no relationship between C and A to break – what B did is so much worse.

    3. I don’t understand the point of any of these questions, but I don’t think gender matters.

       1. B is probably responsible but everyone should probably move on.

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