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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
This is totally boring… but kind of perfect. I love the sleek look to this simple V-necked t-shirt from Halogen. I like the steep V, the tuck detailing at the neck and shoulder, and the fact that it's slightly longer in the back. I've ordered the black, but this burgundy is gorgeous, as is the teal and the gray. It's $35.90 (will be $48 after the sale). Halogen® Tucked V-Neck Long Sleeve Top
(See all of our workwear picks from the sale here…pieces are already selling out, amazingly…)
Sales of note for 9.19.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anono
Any fellow Feds out there who are concerned about the data breach? The initial news was bad enough but knowing that all the info from background investigations was compromised is really outraging me.
Fedanon
Yes. It makes me really mad, and the disorganized way my employer is handling it adds insult to injury. Not sure how different that is elsewhere.
G-woman
Yes. And I don’t get the “credit monitoring” thing. I went to what I think is the web page for the contractor handling that. It asked for my SS#, and I’m not really in the mood to go typing that into a web page right now, given the way our personal data has been handled so far.
tesyaa
For your credit to be monitored, they have to know your SSN. I got phished (I will admit it was due to my own absentmindedness), and I signed up for monitoring (free) that my employer offered. You do have to enter your SSN.
Wife of fed
My husband was telling me all the info (on both of us) he just gave to the “monitoring company” and I freaked out that it was some phisher capitalizing on the scam. I mean they emailed him to give them all this info. It is so ridiculous. He at least confirmed it was legit before putting our info in but talk about bad practices.
Anon
I’m honestly not as concerned this time because China wants to know who to target at home or bribe instead of selling our info on the black market, hopefully. Also, our (my?) data has been compromised via OPM multiple times now. So.. Yay
Ruby
I had a clearance a long time ago so might be in the pool too. I have more or less disallowed myself from worrying about data breach because I have so little control over it. Premera last month, Target last year, it is constant. It’s out of control but so very little an individual can do so I restrict myself from wasting stress on it.
anonnnn
As a former fed, I have heard nothing from my agency and I have zero confidence that I will. I hate that every time I get an email or call from an address/number I don’t recognize, my mind is going to immediately jump to it being a phishing scam or some other attempt by a foreign government (or someone else) to gather more information.
Diploanon
I’m seriously peeved, and agree the credit monitoring is too little/too late. The other side now has my name, maiden name, mother’s maiden name, in addition to the usual personal information. And all of my foreign travel, college roommates (and their personal data). I’m mostly upset because my friends and contacts overseas are now also exposed, and some are in places that leaves them more open to foreign government/agency pressure.
We’re back to doing security clearances on paper, and honestly, I think it should stay that way – even if it takes a year or more to get one finished.
DisenchantedinDC
I would raise you a, “and let’s look at who actually needs clearances.” Maybe this will help reduce the amount issuing clearances just because?
Let’s be real, going to paper won’t stop potential leaks in the future, though. It just won’t be via hacking.
Diploanon
+10 trillion on a good review of “who needs clearances.” I agree paper won’t stop potential leaks (wikileaks, after all, was indeed an inside job), but it’d be a lot harder to get all that data out the door if the leaker had to make copies/take photos, etc.
My musings aside, I fear we all just have to get used to the lack of privacy/exposure of personal data. Too many places collect too much data, for better or for worse, and no system is secure.
Anono
Completely agree.
Anonymous
I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said, but just wanted to comment that I find it absurd that information like “mother’s maiden name” is still used as a security screen. In the age of the internet, which we’ve been in for a while now, that is incredibly easy information to gather. Even moreso with the increasing number of single mothers and married women keeping their names.
Anon
Or the fact that some people have no mother, two fathers, or two mothers. It is a dumb question.
Anonymous
Plus this is not private information. A birth certificate is public, which will provide my mother’s name. If she changed her name, it is also easy to find the marriage license that will have her maiden name.
Wildkitten
My dozens-of-pages SF-86 has a helluva lot more than just my mother’s maiden name on it.
tesyaa
You can just make up a fake “mother’s maiden name”, you know…
Anon
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
tesyaa
Just trying to help the clueless, but I should have realized that I’m the only clueless one! :)
Anonymous
I’m not talking about website log-ins where you choose your own security questions from a dropdown box and get to use whatever answer you want. Of course you can make those up. I’m talking about applications that require truthful information and then ask you to confirm it to “verify your identity” when you call.
Agency Counsel
Yep. And I’m due for my periodic BI soon.
Wife of fed
Yup. I’m also concerned about safety issues. Some people keep their spouse’s name, kid’s name, address, private for very real safety concerns. Just as an obvious example, many people involved in the “war on drugs” have some pretty big enemies in countries with not very strong governments.
Also, there is a petition circulating to get credit monitoring for life.
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/provide-lifetime-identity-protection-federal-employees-who-were-victimized-breach-opm
I’m also very concerned that there is going to be some mass publishing of background interview data. People are forced to divulge very private information. Why were you in therapy? Have you ever been the victim of a crime? (This includes everyone who has ever been sexually assaulted.) There could be a very profitable big book of dirty secrets and that would be tragic for all involved.
Anono
+1 to your last paragraph. I hated having to disclose all that and it’s so upsetting that it’s not private. No one will ever write a book about me but that info was not for others’ consumption, period.
V
I’m not sure why some are saying that their agency hasnt handled this right. I’m in the same boat but unless your agency is OPM, they werent responsible for safeguarding your clearance paperwork. They need to remove the current CIO and past CIO should losr their benefits etc. snd the governmrnt owes us monitoring for more than 18 months.
Fedanon
You are correct, but I wasn’t talking about the handling of the actual paperwork. My agency told us that they would let us know within a certain time frame whether our data was compromised, then they decided not to. Instead they told us that it was too much work and we should tell them if we hear from OPM. Just not actually sharing pertinent information, or telling people conflicting information. “No you can’t tell your family anything.” “Of course, tell people you think may be affected.” “No, of course you can’t tell anyone anything….” etc.
Bonnie
I’m not particularly concerned because our data is out there from so many prior breaches at banks, credit card companies, etc. I changed my most vulnerable passwords and will remain vigilant about checking my accounts.
Scarlett
Good article. This comes up here often. http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/07/can-we-just-like-get-over-the-way-women-talk.html
Ellen
Yay! Weekend Open Thread’s! I love Weekend Open Thread’s and I also read that article. I think that we women are being marginalized by MEN who ALSO uptalk and say thing’s that are filler’s. When we do it, we are branded as dumb, but when men do it, they are being sensitive. Why the diference? I think b/c men like to think of us as pretty thing’s that are meant to be seen, but NOT heard. FOOEY! If men want to be abel to have sex with us, I say they should put up or shut up. By that, I mean we are equal’s, right, so why don’t they treat us as equal’s? Men will say/do most anything to have sex with us and they do NOT compleain about us BEFORE we aksede to their desire’s, but AFTER, they just pull their pant’s up and walk away, and do NOT want to marry us. That is some thing we need to do something about, and this article does NOT realy address that issue to MY satisfaction. I think we should tell men that they need to start treateing us as their intelectual equal’s or we will simply NOT have sex any more with them. FOOEY on men like that! That should get their attention! YAY!!!
Michelle
I have to agree, again, with Ellen. Although I might phrase the sanction slightly differently, it is clear that we are being objectified by men, who take as much as they can from us without complaining to our faces, but as soon as they get the chance, they are the first to bash us for being in the workforce, doing their best to denigrate our achievements. In my view, this is clear unprofessionalism coupled with blatant sexism. Where men are labeled as “assertive”, we women are simply “bitc*hy”. There is a double standard we simply should not stand for any more. Now that they’ve finally taken the Confederate flag down in South Carolina after over 150 years of racism, to protest sexism we need to hoist all sexist men up those same flagpoles by their jockstraps, and let them blow in the wind for all of us to look and laugh at. Ellen may be focused on marriage, but even if others are not, there should be no excuse for sexist behavior and for not treating us as equal. Yes, we are equal “under the law”, but in practice, the old boys network needs a rude awakening — along the lines I describe above with the jockstraps, that is, if such men even wear them any longer, as most of such same men are truly nutless when it comes to equality matters. Go Ellen!
Anonymouse
I also concur with Ellen’s position. She is again on the mark. She is very focused on her work and career (tho she probably would give it up in a heartbeat for a rich guy with a pulse), and she takes issue (rightfully so) against men who seek to torpedo her career. I suppose when I get to be Ellen’s age, I would also be rightfully concerned about men who are out to do her harm, but for now, I am just living in the moment, allowing men to buy me drinks and dinner in exchange for nothing more than platonic companionship. It is the men in the finance industry that insist on a quid pro quo for spending a few dollars on us, but I too say all is fair in love and war. We women must exploit all of our assets, because if we don’t, we will only have ourselves to blame.
I also agree with the OP above who would string these losers up by their nuts for their bad behavior. Witness the page 1 NY Times Story about how a bunch of men on REDDIT were able to force the Board to have Ellen Pao tender her resignation.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/11/technology/ellen-pao-reddit-chief-executive-resignation.html?_r=0
Remember that Ellen Pao the same highly educated woman who fought the VC firm Kleiner Perkins for being sexist, and she is still being plagued by them to pay their legal fees! This is outrageous. They were not fair to her and made her do things to compromise her and now they want to have her pay for their lawyers? I say enough! Have these men also strung up by their nuts (if they have any — ha ha) and never let this happen again. We women must band together to stop this kind of sexism now.
ALN
I agree. I read some similar sentiments the other day describing “professionalism” in much the same way, the gist being that we hold up professionalism (in appearance, mannerisms, speaking style, etc.) as the gold standard in a way that seeks to maintain privilege among people who already act, dress and speak that way.
If someone cannot recognize a good idea just because the speaker is not dressed the right way or speaking in the listener’s preferred style, then that is a listener problem, not a speaker problem. If you think someone who uses uptalk or vocal fry or even a Southern accent is uneducated (or some other “unprofessional” mannerism), then maybe it’s because you stereotype women or Southerners as dumb. And that is a real problem.
Bonnie
I disagree with the article. “If I’m saying something intelligent and all a listener can hear is the way I’m saying it, whose problem is that?” The problem is that the way many of our young attorneys speak makes them sound unintelligent. The constant apologizing, questioning and hedging undermines what they’re saying.
NYtoCO
Denim question: due to losing some weight, I currently have one pair of jeans that I like and that fit. Actually, I love them: they’re genetic denim (the stem). I really need to get additional pairs but they are so expensive. Does anyone have experience with Genetic and have any cheaper recommendations?
They’re really the first jeans I’ve felt truly fit and look good on me– I’m a curvy athletic type with a small waist, large hips and large thighs. So maybe what I’m really looking for are any recommendations from people with that body type, but preferably in the $100 range instead of $200. Probably skinny-style. TIA!
AM
FYI, Saks Off Fifth has Genetic Denim on sale for under $100. Not sure what size you are, but take a look!
http://www.saksoff5th.com/search?prefn1=brand&cat=Designer&pageSource=DesignersPage&prefv1=Genetic%20Denim&designerName=Genetic%20Denim
NYtoCO
You rock! This is awesome. Would still take other recommendations for future reference!
Wildkitten
Amazon.
Clementine
I have a similar body type- tall, athletic but curvy with a small waist, moderate hips and muscular quads that I am quite proud of.
I’ve found that Banana Republic skinny jeans with a mid-rise fit me quite well sized down one full size (normally I’d buy an 8 in pants, but I get a 6 in their jeans). I usually get them for around $50 on sale.
Anonymous
Thank you!
Liz
Me too, and I like Gap’s straight leg jeans in (yoursize)Tall. They’re TTS on me.
NYC tech
I’m similarly addicted to a denim brand that fits me perfectly but is out of my price range. I monitor ThredUp and Twice for that brand in my size nearly daily, and pounce when something shows up. I usually end up paying 15-25% of retail price and they’ve all been in perfect condition so far.
KinCA
I have a similar body type and Joe’s The Skinny Ankle jean are my faves. They’re typically pretty pricey but you can frequently find them on sale for $100 or less at Off 5th/Amazon or during major department store sales. I got my last pair for like $60 from Off 5th.
marketingchic
Nordstrom Rack typically also has Joe’s jeans.
NYtoCO
Thank you all for the great suggestions! In addition to being on a tighter budget than usual, I mostly have a very hard time justifying expensive jeans to myself, even though they’re what I wear the most.
Wildkitten
Recommendations for botox docs in DC?
ANP
Ok, so I had my 3rd and last baby a week ago and desperately want to buy All of The Clothes. This is stupid, right? I’m SO tempted to buy a bunch of stuff from the Anniversary Sale and then return it if it doesn’t fit by the time I go back to work — mostly bc I think the prices are pretty good, and bc I started a new (more formal) job in my 3rd tri and want to have a solid work wardrobe come the end of my leave in September. Anyone want to talk me into/out of this idea?
Away Game
Inciting to shop, more than talking you out of this idea. Why not pick up just a few nice pieces that aren’t particularly fitted? A long cozy cardigan, for example, or flow-y blouse? Accessories? Stuff that can update your look but you can wear even if your body changes shape over the next few months. You can always buy the sheath dress during the winter sales.
PolyD
Given Nordstrom’s EXTREMELY generous return policy, I don’t see how you can wrong!
Buy all the things!!
NOLA
Agreed! You may decide to return some things right away and you’ll have less to decide on.
NbyNW
I’m going to enable you and say do it. Return in a month or two if they don’t fit.
Need some help
Hey all, I hope you can help. I’m just feeling really quite alone right now (short term) and I’m wondering what you all would recommend that you do in that situation? I’ve got my journal out and then I can do some comfort reading but there might be something I’ve missed?
Wildkitten
What would make you feel better? Going out with friends? Spa day? Going for a run? Therapy?
Anonymous
Massage? Or a fun workout class, dance maybe.
InfoGeek
Make plans for some activity regularly, even if it’s just “once a month I will do something special on Saturday.”
It can be a museum exhibit, a short-term volunteer gig, a class, a tourist-y thing.
This was my plan for dealing with an empty nest and it really helped.
Lise
Massage is really good for this – when I’ve felt lonely one of the problems was a lack of touch. It really helped to have any kind of physical contact.
I really hope you feel better.
anon
I went from being married to living alone for the past 9 1/2 years. I have a long distance SO so I’ve really had to get used to living alone and being alone. I’ve gotten so used to it that I now have to jolt myself out of my routine to do things with friends. I go to the gym after work a couple days a week. I have a whole group of people I know at the gym and it feels very familiar. Occasionally I’m on the elliptical next to a friend but I mostly read or watch TV with earbuds or both. By the time I get home, eat, shower, whatever, I don’t have a lot of time to feel alone. I just want to power down for the evening. I enjoy running errands, doing things on the weekends alone. I’ll get a pedicure and take my Kindle to read. I think having a regular routine of my days really helps.
Need some help
Thanks all! I wrote in my journal trying to explore the reasons why I was feeling alone (tldr: my best friend just moved away and I’ll see them in two months, and lots of other friends are also moving away soon too) and then had an early night.
Found a few new podcasts and got lots of vitamin D yesterday, both of which helped – along with some retail therapy! Having friends round later for a film and probably ordering in pizza.
Leather or utility jacket recs?
Can anyone recommend a great brown leather or olive utility jacket? I’m looking for a lined jacket that would be both functional and stylish and ideally not more than $150, but I haven’t found anything good so far. I’d really like it to be lined so it’s warmer for spring or fall. I will also be in Paris this year and would be happy to do a little shopping there if anyone knows of a great place to go! TIA!
NOLA
It’s not leather, but I have this jacket from Free People and it’s really cozy: http://www.freepeople.com/shop/solid-knit-mixed-cargo-jacket/?c=jackets
nutella
Since you don’t mention a price range, look at All Saints – they have the best. Alternatively, I always see leather jackets at Nordstrom Rack.
anon a mouse
I love the look of this shirt – basics like this are exactly what I reach for time and again. I admit to being a little gunshy because it’s all rayon – the rayon pieces I’ve bought in the last 2 years haven’t held up well, even when I hand wash them. They pill and/or fade within a few washes. Is there some special trick to rayon or is this just more evidence of the cheapening in women’s garments?
Anonymous
Does anyone have success stories or ideas for part time (truly part time, as in 20 or so hours a week, not law firm “part time” of 40+ hours) work for lawyers? I’m 31 and my husband and I plan to start trying for a baby in the next year. I know the “don’t leave before you leave” advice and definitely won’t quit my job until I have a baby in my arms, but I am 95% sure I don’t want to work even 40 hours a week when I have small (pre-kindergarten) kids and am trying to brainstorm ideas for things I might do on a very part time basis that would provide some income and a connection to the profession. I might return to a relatively low-stress, 40 hour a week fulltime job once kids are in school (if I can find one) but I don’t want to return to normal law firm hours because I want to see my kids on evenings and weekends, put healthy meals on the table, etc. However, I think I’d be bored as a full time stay at home mom and although we can live on my husband’s salary the extra money would certainly be a big help. I’m a litigator with experience in both a niche area and more general civil litigation. I was in BigLaw for 4 years and recently switched to a small firm that unfortunately has similar hours for much less pay. The only thing I can really think of for part time work is document review, which would provide money and perhaps a connection that would enable to me to return to a more permanent position once kids are older but wouldn’t provide much intellectual stimulation or social contact.
Any other ideas?
ORD
I was the first to go part-time in my fed gov office. It’s a litigation office so I had to push for it, but it worked. After baby #1 I went to 4 days a week, and after baby #2 I went to 2 days a week. When they were in preschool I went back to 3.5 days a week, then once both were in school, I went back to full time. I couldn’t handle cases solo then – obviously given discovery schedules and court schedules and such, I was just working on other peoples’ cases when I worked only 2 days a week. So that wasn’t “lean in,” but I kept my job & career going and it’s back all the way now. I have to think it was win-win because it is also a very specialized, niche area and they wanted to keep me.
Anonymous
I job shared with another public defender for about 18 months when my son was little. My boss felt like a 40 hour a week employee doesn’t work 40 hours when you factor in talking, daydreaming, etc. but when you work 20 hours, you actually work all 20 and maybe a few more to get your stuff done. In other words, he felt more bang for the buck. Best time of my life!
I wanna know, too!
I had a comment eaten earlier this week about this. Someone asked a question about making/seeing friends and one of the responders mentioned something about how she was a SAHM fulltime for 5 yrs and now back working fulltime as a lawyer. I am dying to know how she did this as my sense with law is that once you leave it’s extremely hard to come back. All this is to say, I don’t have an answer, but I’m dying to hear responses.
Anonymous
I’m on a panel of private attorneys in my state who accept criminal appeals through the public defender system. I know lots of people who do this part time because it is so flexible. Criminal work is obviously niche, but just throwing it out there.
anon
Look for listings for part time or contract attorneys. My small firm, doing top-notch litigation work in a niche practice, hires attorneys part time when the workload is too much and we need some help but not necessarily another full time attorney. At my firm, the part-timers usually stay long term (some eventually move to full time when they’re ready to take on more; some have remained part time long term). The part time associates do everything everyone else does, just lower volume. Our cases are big (3 or 4 lawyers end up working on every case) so it works to spread out the workload this way. We also have contract brief writers who help out when we have crazy briefing schedules. They work remotely and get to do quality work on a part time schedule. Some weeks are really busy and full time, but some weeks are calm with lots of family time.
Anonymous
I was at a small commercial litigation firm and stayed home when I had my second baby because they suddenly became horrible once I had a baby and the hours were big-law bad (or worse, because there was no one to do all the work) for way less money. I feared I’d never get back to work, at least as a litigator, but I could not stay in that toxic environment. Getting a job while pregnant, I was told by multiple head hunters, was virtually impossible. So, I decided to cut my losses and stay home. Fast forward four years later I got a part time litigation job at a very small firm. I feel tremendously lucky to have gotten it, but I wouldn’t call it “part time” as I work 40-50 hours a week.
Hollis
My best friend works as an employment lawyer for a Fed agency. Hours are 80 hours every two weeks, so she works 9 tens and takes every other Friday off. She also works from home once a week. Working from home 10 hours a day is actually easier than billing 8 hours a day in my opinion. I would caution you about the part time thing – lots of part timers struggle with feeling like you are not doing a great job in either the home front or the career front.
Blonde Lawyer
If you just want to work less hours but are okay working different days on different weeks, you could solo and limit the number of clients you take. It’s not going to stop you from occasionally having a one week trial but you certainly wouldn’t have to normally work every day.
I know a few people versed in municipal law that work part time advising firms on the municipal intricacies of their town litigation cases.
If you just want to keep a foot in the door generally and it’s not about the money, what about staying on the pro bono or reduced fee roster. In my state, you get free malpractice coverage through the bar while doing pro bono cases so you don’t need to stay linked with a firm to do it.
PermanentClerk
Look into working in the courts. It varies state to state, but I work as a permanent law clerk and quite a few women “job share” in my court. Basically, you share a permanent law clerk/court attorney position working for a judge or in a pool, and you either do 2 or 3 days, alternating weeks. It’s interesting work – you’re writing decisions, overseeing discovery, settling cases – but it’s typically 9 to 5, with all major holidays, and you can usually transition to something permanent down the line. Obviously, not easy to find, but something to look into it and I’d think much more interesting than doc review, probably better for transitioning back too. I have another friend who works for the SSA writing memos for the admin judges on the cases. She’s also allowed a flex time schedule and can work from home 2 days a week. It’s a great gig for someone who wants a real work life balance.
PermanentClerk
Another idea: look into writing briefs. I’ve met lawyers who specialize in writing briefs for appeals or in general. They usually have solid credentials but want a slower pace.
MJ
I would look into Axiom, Paragon Legal or Fenwick Flex if you do corporate, commerical/licensing or IP. They have great gigs, not all of which are PT. You could also look into whether UpCounsel has launched in your state too.
Alice paging Wildkitten
I responded late to your question on the earlier thread. I go to my regular derm, Dr. Todd Perkins…definitely recommend him.
Wildkitten
Ha – he’s mine too. Perfect. Thank you!
EE
Anon with IUD from Friday – if you’re reading this, I’m thinking about you! Hope all is well. Any update?
OP
That was me. I took a test right after work on Friday and am definitely not pregnant! DH and I went out for a beer and talked things over, we’re in a good place. Thanks for checking in!