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Weekend Open Thread

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Lord knows I don't need any more lipsticks or lip glosses — but I am seriously tempted by the major Nordstrom beauty sale right now, with so many options 40-65% off.

This Kiehl's lip gloss looks like a great MLBB tint (and I love Kiehls classic lip gloss, in the pot) so I may have to give this one a try — other ones sorely tempting me are the major deals on Lancôme, MAC, Bobbi Brown, Armani and others. (I'm also swayed by the fact that Nordstrom has such an easy return policy with makeup, as with everything else.)

The pictured balm (which has sunscreen, hurrah) was $24, but is now marked to $15.60.

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Sales of note for 12.5

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155 Comments

  1. I just wanted to check back in with a quick thank you. I had asked for advice about handling a pay cut last month, in particular whether I should stop my 401k contributions to build up my emergency savings. Most people thought I should and between that and really focusing on cutting my spending I can already see my savings improving a lot. At this rate if I’m still employed in three months I’ll be able to restart my contributions and have a solid back up. Everyone was really kind and it made a big difference to me on a hard day.

  2. I have been so, so unproductive at work this week, more than I feel is reasonable for general Trying to Work at Home During a Pandemic reasons and I feel so frustrated with myself. I can’t believe it’s already Friday and I’ve accomplished, like, a quarter of the things I meant to. Ugh.

    1. This was a rough week for me and one of my kids too. I’m being kind to myself this weekend and will start fresh next week.

    2. Same here, and I’m in my office. (The building is 90% empty, the lawyers here have large offices and we have only one staff person per week, so social distancing is pretty easy.) I think it’s just general stress and malaise – and fatigue from sleeplessness – and a lack of much pressing work, with the initial COVID-19 questions and issues dying down but so many other things cancelled. Whatever, I’m in a funk. I’m thinking about just calling it a day at 3:30 and going home for a nap . . .

    3. It’s been a really rough week for me this week – to the extent that I had to leave my computer yesterday and wrap myself in a blanket for a bit. It’s two months today since my Last Normal Day so it’s remarkable I’ve not broken before now really.

    4. I’m back in the office this week and just can’t get in the groove again. I have accomplished very little this week. On the bright side, some kind soul just passed out individual cans of wine.

    5. Me too, b/c I haven’t been able to bill more then 80 hours now for 2 weeks. The manageing partner says I need more but I have no cleints that I haven’t billed now at least 40 hours each week for the last 8 weeks, and that started before the virus. I wonder if I can get a new cleint or 2; then it would be easier to bill it more. FOOEY!

    6. I fell asleep on my couch yesterday at 4:00 (not even meaning to) and slept until dinnertime. I’ve completely hit a wall. There is no end in sight, and the juggle between work and child care is breaking me. I’m seriously considering going on partial leave for a bit. I’ve cried three times this week, the latest being at 10 a.m. today. I haven’t turned on my zoom camera since. Here’s hoping that next week is better.

      1. I’m sorry that this has been such a bad week. This too shall pass and things will get better. Take some time to rest and relax this weekend. Do something just for you even if just for an hour, like a bath with a glass of wine.

    7. I have had an unproductive day or afternoon almost every week. I think the constant stress is physically tiring. And there is just no let up, given there is no end in sight. I have tried to console myself with the notion that everyone is in the same boat.

  3. I have worn no makeup in 2 months. Why is my face breaking out???! Not a good look for back-to-office. Time to practice the spackling skills.

    [I know; I am not required to look good. Some may be hidden by a mask (I don’t think I will mask in-office as I have a shut-able door and I car commute; but I may wear in elevator /going out for lunch). Still: I am a vain creature and I guess I may have to deal with foundation / concealer staining on masks — yay for patterns I guess.]

      1. Exactly. People are forgetting this is a global catastrophe! It’s putting your health, life, and livelihood at risk, that of your loved ones. . . hundreds of thousands of people you don’t know. It’s turned your life’s structure upside down, and everyone else’s too. We don’t know when it will end, and we don’t know the full picture of the economic losses yet (except that things have never been so bad, not since the Great Depression). Of course things aren’t normal. Your skin, your team, your mood, your sleep. . .

        1. Gently, I don’t think anybody is forgetting that. It’s impossible to forget it.

      2. Or eating to much. At home I am10 steps from my refridgerator, and inside is alot of goodies to eat 24/7. I have put on 10 pounds, mostly in the tuchus, and all pandemic related. Today, I could not walk b/c of the weather so my tuchus is growing. FOOEY on that! I need a man to get me into shape, now. Mabye Frank will be that man! YAY!!!!!

    3. Stress, and the masks are huge triggers. Hot damp air held against your skin is instant acne for me. I am using SO many acids these days. Washing your face immediately after you take one off helps. I am also swearing by a combo of BHA (good old fashioned stridex pads to break down the gunk!) and then sulfur or clay masks for 30-minutes or so on my t-zone and cheeks. That and lighter lotions than normal helps.
      But yea – stress is a HUGE trigger for me, and look, we’re in a pandemic, so…it is what it is.

        1. Yes, this is very true. Dad told me that I need to floss my teeth after every time I eat, b/c otherwise all of the food particles that get stuck between your teeth cannot get out and the constant moisture only makes the smell get worse. Even tho I have very white teeth, I still get food stuck and I do NOT want to have to deal with bad breathe, even if it is behind a mask. When I was dating my ex, he had bad teeth, and he was not focused on clean breathe, so I can only imagine how bad his breathe stinks in this pandemic, with our without a mask. FOOEY! For the rest of the hive particularly interested in keeping minty clean, I recommend Listerine Blue coupled with Colgate White after every meal. I also floss with Listerine Floss, which I really perfer to the Glide, which sometimes breaks up between my teeth. I am hopful that with all of the men out there, that I will appear super attaractive once this is over, as I went to the dentist in February before all of this hit in the USA. I am due back in 6 months, so hopefully by August, I will be abel to go back and have another cleaneing to keep my teeth white and breathe fresh! YAY!!!!

    5. I totally empathize, op! Wanna know what’s sad? After a whole lifetime of clear skin, and never wearing makeup, I started breaking out horribly a year ago when I stopped taking birth control pills. Nothing has been able to get it under control (including recs from the derm, investigation into thyroid/hormone/deeper seated physiological issues), and accutane isn’t an option because I went off bcp for a reason – to have kids! Not looking forward to mask wearing since I do suspect it will aggravate my already perpetually-inflamed chin.

      1. I went off birth control at the start of this because I’m single, I’ve been on the pill for about 15 years and want to see how my body reacts off the pill (if my cycle returns). My skin has been freaking out! Not sure if it’s all the stress or lack of hormones. I may go back on eventually though.

      2. Not sure if you will see this, but my chin acne has some hormonal fluctuation. Reducing my dairy consumption has helped significantly. I still eat cheese, but use an alternative milk for cereal/smoothies and rarely eat yogurt. The downside to that has been some increased digestive sensitivity if I do over-indulge.

  4. I just phone screened a candidate for an open position on my team. During our 45-minute chat, I heard her child playing and her dog barking in the background. She was awesome and I liked her more for the realness of it all. She is moving on to the next round. I am just putting that out there in case anyone is still worried about real life interfering with perceived professionalism at this strange time!

    1. I recently spoke with a (I presume) WFH CSR for a major airline. Our conversation was peppered by a very loud rooster in the background. She didn’t mention it and neither did I, but I was soooo curious!

  5. WWYD? I have a condo that I’ve rented since I got married and moved in with my husband. We had tenants who were month to month and moved out as planned in Feb, when I was on a work trip, getting back in early March. You know the rest of the story. I held off on repainting, etc. but now feel like I either need to repaint and do some small refreshes to sell it or re-rent it. I think I could re-rent it since it is a townhouse with assigned lot parking in a neighborhood of elevator high-rises with garages and has two private outdoor spaces (vs none in high rises). I can (and have to) float it for a couple of more months but don’t want to let it sit with no plan. We are reopening gradually starting next week and it is legal to have painters / plumbers / electricians come in for needed items, to show a property (if distancing), to sell a property, and to hire and use movers.

    2. I’d definitely get things set up to re-rent and possibly even list with the expectation that you could get a painter in before the new tenant moves in. Life has not completely stopped. Two houses in my neighborhood have sold since we went in to quarantine.

    3. If you can afford it, this is an excellent opportunity to give some work to a local small business.

      1. That’s happening either way — I could paint (etc.), but with WFH and homeschooling, it’s just not going to happen efficiently.

    4. I’d get it painted and re-rent it. If you hire professionals, it may not take as long as you think. I have a rental property, and it took a contractor about 3 weeks to “refresh” a 1200 square foot apartment–fresh paint on walls, ceiling, and trim throughout; repainted cabinets; new fixtures; and new floors (laminate tongue-and-groove). It was expensive to hire a good contractor, but it was off the market for less than 2 months.

  6. Oooh, good pick! I love this balm, and I’m now reminded to repurchase as I have finished my last tube of it already.

    Where I am we are heading into week seven? eight? of work from home and lockdown. I took the beginning of lockdown to stop wearing any makeup and really focus on skin care, but as time has gone by I’ve found that my little beauty rituals and trying out new makeup items here and there are doing wonders to restore my sense of normalcy. I’m surprised at what a pick me up it’s been! Anyone else finding themselves surprised by what’s really helped them in these times of pandemic?

    1. Yes. I was all pajamas and no bra and bed head for the first few weeks and was miserable. I now get dressed every morning and even apply a little makeup (for zoom calls but also for my husband’s benefit – he likes it) and I feel a lot better.

      A little makeup: bb cream, mascara, blush, fill in eyebrows a little

    2. I”m using down all the little samples I’ve collected over the years, and using the time to do things like hair masks (that I had, but never used).

      1. I have hotel samples which I am using, but find that they get pastey and don’t work that well after about a year or so. The shampoo is ok, but the condition gets VERY greazey. Who needs that? That is why I wash my hair to begin with; I do not think putting oiley and greazey stuff in your hair does anything but make you wash your hair again! FOOEY on that! I did love a couple of products I got at hotels over the years, including some great ginger shampoo that tingles! You know your scalp is getting scrubbed when it tingles! YAY!!

    3. I can’t wear fragrance at work, and so have enjoyed using perfume, fragranced body lotion, etc. I also spent the first few weeks largely in sweats, but now that it is warmer have shifted to actual clothing.

  7. Quick tip for people struggling to proof read or getting eye strain reading long documents without a printer. I’m using the read aloud tool on word to read the document to me. It is under the Review tab. There is similar software for PDF (under accessibility) but that wasn’t working well for me. I haven’t had any issue getting opposing counsel to give me a word version w/ the PDF version so I can use the software. Hope that helps!

    2. This is a good tip. I’m also using a gradient plugin similar to beeline reader to help me find the next line of text when reading on a screen. The open dyslexic font can sometimes help with eye strain even for people who have no dyslexia. I get tired from reading from screens but don’t print, so these are tips I’ve accumulated over the years.

    3. I live by this function! It’s so incredibly helpful, especially when the documents are never ending…

      1. I’m crocheting while I “read” aka listen, and it is really upping my concentration! I’m not putting off reading the big documents any longer and looking forward to “reading” them instead.

    4. Thank you! I’m normally really good at proofreading, but my skills are slipping. It would be good to have a backstop.

    5. How did I never know this existed?? Thank you for the tip! I can’t wait to try this.

  8. I just did a guided mindfulness meditation on instagram live and I am hooked and would really like to incorporate it into my daily routine. Any suggestions for apps? I’m fine with a paid one if it’s better – I just want one that is reliable that I will enjoy every day. I loved the human element of having a live guide, so would prefer an app that simulates that (ie. feels more ‘organic’ if that makes sense – doesn’t feel like a computer/SIRI talking at me). Thanks!

    1. I paid maybe $3 for Insight Timer years ago, and have been happy with it (and no additional app) ever since. The paid version lets you create your own meditation presets with interval sounds, etc. that you choose. It also has a huge, searchable supply of guided meditations.

    2. Headspace. Very nice free content. You can get more out of the app with the paid options. Started using this during the pandemic. Will likely use it long past this stressfully crisis.

    4. Headspace! I’ve been using it for ages and it’s only gotten better. Totally worth the price of a subscription.

  9. Tween has decided now is the time to ask about her upper lip hair and armpit hair and stuff in general. We are pale hirsute brunettes. I had laser (bikini line, upper lip) 20 years ago and it was life changing! I never needed a week’s notice to go swimming again(which I had passed on as a teen b/c it was a problem and my mom honestly didn’t know what to do). I did some rounds on arms / legs too just so I could go about without the gawking of short sleeves and without having to leg shave daily.

    So, what do people do now for upper lip — ready-to-go wax strips? Nair? Shaving armpits is OK (like preferred method). Will not encourage anything else at this point. [Kiddo is 11, puberty has been going on for a while, which is typical for our family, so laser wouldn’t have been on the table anyway until she was much older, it’s just that I am out of touch with this stuff.]

    1. Try a small patch test with Nair-type product and see if she’s allergic. If it’s all good I think that’s your best bet.

    2. At her age I would suggest nair for the upper lip (you do it for her) and shaving for arm pits

    3. I would use wax, either strips or the stripless kind of warm wax. I think handing nair to an 11 year old is a recipe for chemical burns.

      1. I think it is very kid-dependent. Some 11YOs are taller than grownups, have periods, wear bras, so they are doing all of the other things that signal “time for hair awareness.” And if they are much more hirsute than their peers, they are, sadly, often very aware of that and do not want to be the girl in the yearbook with a mustache (some boys may feel similarly). No one likes to stick out. I can get why some kids would ask.

        1. yeah, I don’t remember whether I just FELT like everyone was laughing about my leg hair in the locker room, or whether I was actually teased. But my mom’s categorical refusal to buy me a razor or even talk through my feelings of shame was not the right answer.

          1. My mom wouldn’t buy me a razor either, and I cut up my legs pretty good as a teenager because I didn’t know what the heck I was doing trying to shave my legs. Also I was buying really cheap razors on my own. She was blondish so she did not get how self-conscious I was about having dark leg hair.

      2. This was my mother’s attitude. My quite hairless mother’s attitude. Meanwhile I was a pale, half-Greek kid with prolific leg hair who was mercilessly teased in the warm months… I had my period and wore a bra well before this. Thank goodness one of my mother’s friends set her straight and taught me to shave.

        1. Oh this is so familiar. My mom has like 12 hairs on each leg but I’m apparently the result of a genetic splice with a werewolf. I finally just started shaving without her blessing.

      3. Nope. I started at 11. My mom has fair skin, fair body hair and rarely had to shave. I have medium skin and thick, dark body hair and thanks to PCOS (which didn’t get diagnosed for another 12 years) I was hairy as a Wookiee by the time I was that age. Like the hairs on my lower legs were over half an inch long. My mom didn’t think I “needed to do that” (she also didn’t think I needed to know about periods, so thank goodness for the education we got in 6th grade or when it happened, I would have had no idea what was happening to me) so she didn’t teach me how to shave, get me products, etc. One of my friends asked her mom, who got me shaving lotion and a pack of razors, and my friend showed me how to shave. I applaud the OP for wanting to be part of this. It’s important.

        As for the how – I never have had a lot of facial hair but my lower body is a different story. I shaved my legs and waxed the hair on my abdomen (not bikini line – like my lower stomach) for a long time. I also waxed in between my eyebrows. Over time, the places I waxed stopped growing in so I don’t have to worry about it much any more other than plucking occasional stray hairs. I have never waxed my legs as I could never stand to let the hair grow in that long. OP – I would go with waxing for the upper lip hair and then maybe your daughter can get laser when she’s old enough.

      4. I think the relevant question isn’t “how old is the child” but “is there hair to remove.”

        1. +10000. Your child may be getting teased and bullied about and feel too embarrassed to mention it to her parents.

    5. I have less hair, so perhaps your experience will be different, but I like the Sally Hansen sensitive skin depilatory for upper lip. I do not like wax for my face — I turn neon red for hours and sometimes my skin comes off which means days or a week of issues. I also prefer hot wax and fabric strips for waxing, but again, I don’t do wax of any kind on the face anymore.

      1. I find that if you are a night showering person, you can use the wax strips on your face pre-shower and the steam seems to calm things down or even out skin. You are definitely zoom-camera ready by morning. I would not do in the morning.

        1. Same here! I have been using Sally Hansen bleaching cream for about 30 (gasp) years, and I have dark hair on my upper lip.

    6. I would not do Nair or any similar products on a child that young. Why not the Tinkle razor for the lip area? It’s so much easier and less involved than other methods and it doesn’t carry the chemical irritant risk of Nair.

      1. Aiiii — I periodically sliced up my ankles something awful as a kid and can’t imagine a razor near my lips. Esp. if the kid is even slightly clumsy. Maybe a mom task for now if you go the razor route?

      2. +1 I would start with a little facial hair trimmer/razor. That’s what my mom always used.

    7. Flawless mini hair remover. Costs about $20. Available everywhere. Runs on a battery, about the size of a lipstick. Impossible for her to cut herself.
      I love mine.

      1. My 13-year-old uses a similar device. It requires upkeep but is quick, easy, and totally safe.

    8. I started by bleaching my upper lip. Then shaved it starting in college. Then tweeze, then laser. Maybe start with bleach? Limited risk?

    9. I highly recommend threading for the upper lip. I’ve been doing it myself since middle school; all you need is a spool of thread and a mirror. IME it hurts less than waxing or tweezing, and it’s much gentler on the skin.

      1. Just to offer a counterpoint, threading is basically like torture for me. It hurts more than any other type of hair removal, including electrolysis. My mom took me to get threaded when I was 15 since we are South Asian and a lot of Indian women use it, and I almost cried from the pain. I tried it a few more times as an adult but gave up. At her age I’d recommend depilatory or wax if she can stand the pain. Tinkle razors are great too, that’s what I use now for upkeep after getting electrolysis about 8 years ago.

    10. A few things from someone who entered puberty early and got her period at 9 years old (4th grade). My mom eased me into shaving with a women’s electric razor that could be used in the shower. I’m not sure what is on the market now, but this one was pretty much impossible to cut or nick yourself with. I used that for a few years for leg/pit shaving and then graduated to regular razors. Honestly, just thinking back to it makes me want to check out electric razors again (but this quarantine is getting to my head and telling me “try new at-home things!”). For lip, I used those teeny brow/facial razors. They were simple and easy. There was a brief stint in high school when I wanted to wax my lip but I broke out horribly from it. That was catastrophic to a teenager, at the time. I never tried anything like Nair so no anecdotes on that one.

      You seem to be very sensitive about fitting your tween with the best option for her. As someone who had a mom who did the same, it was very helpful and a bonding experience for sure. I hope it goes well!

  10. I have procured a pound of lovely fresh asparagus. Anybody have any tips and tricks for what to do with it?

    1. I think roasted with a little olive oil, salt, pepper, and maybe lemon tastes best.

    2. I really don’t think you can beat roasted asparagus. Olive oil, salt, pepper, 400 degrees 15-20 min until stating to get brown.

    4. I like blanching asparagus for about 2 minutes, less if it’s really thin, then dressing it in good olive oil, a squeeze of lemon or splash of balsamic, and a pinch of salt.

    5. If you want to be Type A about it (I am Type B except when cooking), when you lay out the asparagus to roast, alternate tip and tail and stagger them so there is room on either side of each tip to make sure the tips get nice and crispy. Lemon or balsamic and butter make this more decadent, but I find them unnecessary when the asparagus is young and well-seasoned.
      I also love love love a simple asparagus soup but I tend to keep asparagus intact when it is perfectly in season.

    6. Grill it or cut it on the bias into about 1.5 in length pieces and saute it in olive oil. OR, make that fabulous tart that I’ve seen on my friends’ Fb that was frozen puff pastry and maybe ricotta and lemon zest?

      1. Heat oven to 400 degrees. Roll out one sheet of thawed puff pastry into approx 10 x 16–although mine didn’t get there. Place the pastry on parchment, prick all over with a fork, and bake on cookie sheet for 10 mins. Let it cool slightly. Meanwhile, mix 2 eggs, 1 tbs milk, 1 tbs finely chopped shallot, 1/2 tsp salt and lots of fresh cracked pepper. Add 2 c cheese—fontina, Jack, Muenster, Swiss, whatever—and stir to combine. Spread cheese mixture on the partially cooled pastry, leaving 1/2 inch border all around. Asparagus—I blanched mine ahead of time for five minutes, drained, and patted dry. Then use a little olive oil, salt, and pepper to coat the asparagus, and lay the stalks on the tart. Press it down lightly into the cheese mixture. Bake at 400 for 20 minutes. When it comes out, sprinkle the zest of 1 lemon over top. Eat warm or at room temp.
        Regarding the asparagus, if it’s small and tender, you might not need to blanch. The tart seems too soft when it’s warm, but the crust crisps up as it cools.

    7. If you have a panini press you can use it to grill the asparagus with a little oil. It takes only a few minutes and tastes/looks special.

    8. Look up Natasha’s Kitchen – she’s on FB and Instagram. She has the most delicious recipe for asparagus au-gratin and she even has a video for how to make it. She has other really good recipes & videos. You won’t be disappointed.

      1. If you haven’t already eaten it all yet, you can try the roasting recs but add grated pecorino the last few minutes and lighten up on salt (pecorino itself is salty).

  11. The COVID test is absolutely as bad as people say. My nose still hurts almost 4 hours later.

    1. I heard the FDA just approved the saliva tests, so hopefully those will be more widely available soon.

    2. +1. I screamed involuntarily, and I could tell they were totally used to that response.

      1. I swore like crazy and the nurse just kept saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Also thought they were used to that. I had to get one on both sides and another swab for RSV which was “only a few inches” up my nose.

        Nose still hurts, the consulting nurse thinks they might have irritated a nerve so it’ll keep getting worse for a couple hours and then start to get better. Fantastic.

        Results come back tomorrow.

        1. My friend in healthcare who volunteered to administer tests one day said she made literally all but one person cry.

    3. +1
      The doctor that administered the test on me apologized before she did the test

      1. The nurse said “I say sorry like sixty times a day” as tears were streaming from my eyes after the first one, and then I had the other side and another whole swab for other respiratory viruses.

    4. Yes, agree. It felt like they were swapping the inside of my brain with a bristly brush. My tears were running uncontrollably. At least the nurse did prepare me for the unpleasantness.

    5. I hate to say it, but as long as the test is invasive, up the nose and painful, they are likely to have more tests than willing takers. Especially among the asymptomatic. I’d have to be really bad off to undergo that (and I’m someone who willingly donates blood and registered for the bone marrow list).

      1. They are rolling out less invasive tests now, at least in many places. My mom got one last week and it was a nose test but the less painful front-of-he-nose kind like you get for flu. Also, painful or not, employers and schools can make tests conditions of attendance and people who wouldn’t voluntarily get tested will comply.

      2. I’m also avoiding dr offices/medical facilities because of germs, and because I’d have to take public transportation to get there.

      3. I ENVY people who can get the rapid, just inside the nose test (which is still not fun but not nearly as bad). It wasn’t available anywhere in the area. The saliva test also seems easy.

        I’ve had similar swabs before for whooping cough, but I don’t remember it sucking quite as much as this. I’ve also had flu, MRSA, RSV, and a billion other lower-down swabs.

      1. Sorry to disappoint but Trump has said his very first one was the painful kind but all the subsequent tests were less invasive (he didn’t say whether front of nose or just saliva, but either way I think it’s much better than back of the nose).

          1. I honestly think after his first experience he just refused to have the more invasive kind of test and so they just made do with what they could, figuring any test is better than no test.

      2. I did too, enough to search it. Anon is right. It’s the rapid, front of nose or something. :(

    7. I didn’t think it hurt, but it was definitely uncomfortable. At least it was very brief.

  12. Fun Q I saw on Twitter: if you could have any tv show/movie wardrobe (but ONLY ONE), what would it be? My first A was Gilmore Girls but lots of others said First Wife/Maisel. What do you think?

    1. The wardrobe I lust over the most is Selina Meyer’s on Veep but it wouldn’t work at all for my life, since my office was way more casual even before the current situation. For my real life, probably Lorelai from Girlmore Girls for me too, especially the later seasons when she dressed less wacky. I like the boots and blazers look.

    2. Claire Underwood. I think all her stuff must be tailored to her. It’s beautiful (and completely impractical for my life, but still, *swoon*.)

    4. Veep, 100%! Selina Meyer may have been a terrible president but damn, she looked good doing it!

    7. Lisa Cuddy on House. I know many criticized her for being too sexy for work but I loved her aesthetic and this is a fantasy pick.

    8. Like others love Selina Meyer’s wardrobe on Veep and Claire Underwood’s on House of Cards but also love season 2 of succession Shiv Roy

      1. Oh yeah, Shiv Roy’s wardrobe was gorgeous. So much more modern and individual than the others’.

    9. Elizabeth’s on Madame Secretary, if I had a job where clothes like that would make sense.

      1. I hate that she frequently wears blazers with the sleeves rolled up over long sleeve tops without also rolling up those sleeves. It’s such a weird look to me.

      1. Amanda from Revenge. More on business casual or weekend style but i love her style.

        1. I agree, but I want her wardrobe as Emily Thorne, especially seasons 1 and 2. Gorgeous outfits!!

    12. I’m reading this Monday but feel so passionate I have to answer – Villanelle!!!

  13. I would like to send a gift card to my kid’s daycare teachers as one has been furloughed (they’d been getting paid till now) & the others may, too, soon. I will need to do this by email. Any ideas on how to best do this? I’m normally a cash in a paper card person. Thanks!

    1. Our daycare is reopening next week but I sent all the teachers gift cards last Monday for Teacher Appreciation. I already had a list of emails so I didn’t need to get those. I did Target gift cards “from” the kids and just out a little note that we missed them and looked forward to seeing them again.

      1. Sh*t, this makes me feel bad about blanking on teacher appreciation week. We normally contribute to a group collection, not individual gifts, and the group collection didn’t happen this year. At least the teachers are still in paid status.

  14. In a year where I’ve done IVF, am now in my final weeks of pregnancy, have been working and juggling quarantine with a toddler (including one month without my husband entirely as he was quarantining separately),and handled a temporary move so we could isolate out of NYC with some space, my husband rolls over last night and asks if we can celebrate Mother’s Day when we’re back home. Ugh. I wasn’t looking some massive celebration, just any kind of hey thanks for all you’ve been doing through this craziness. Literally a card and a thing of flowers or any token of like I acknowledge the stuff you contribute. To have to prompt it is just so frustrating.

    1. I get where he’s coming in that I’m finding doing anything beyond the bare basics super challenging, but also, you are so right in wanting acknowledgement.

      If it matters, I’m impressed with you. Pregnancy! A toddler! Quarantine! A temporary move! These are hard and things you are doing to take care of your family that tell me, Internet stranger, that you’re a good Mom. They make me think of my own Mom, who has always been there when I need her.

      Happy Mother’s Day!

    3. Unbelievable. Yes, he can ALSO celebrate it when you’re back home, but he needs to show up now. Your motherhood and pregnancy and hard work didn’t go on hiatus for Covid-19, and your husband needs to acknowledge, respect, and celebrate that!
      Happy Mothers Day. If you need to wrest this celebration from the pandemic with your own two hands, I’m sure it won’t be the first time you showed up and did what needed doing – and it won’t be the last. That’s what mothers do. Tell him what he needs to do tomorrow, whether that’s an impromptu grocery run to restock + a bottle of bubbly + grocery store flowers, or a full day of toddler-entertaining, and making a specific dinner, foot rubs, bath-running, cheese plate. Just think of whatever you want and give him instructions. Yes, you shouldn’t have to, but doing so only benefits you.
      You can work out the whole “why do I have to take the mental load of telling him what to do” stuff in counseling later.

  15. I do not have this issue, but Rosa does. She is generally alot prettier then most (including me) but since she’s had her babies, she has upper lip hair that is annoying to her and Ed. Her OBGYN said it is hormonal, and even tho the hair is fine and blond, she does not like it. Also, the hormones also are affecting her underarm hair, causing it to grow alot thicker, which is the same issue Grandma Trudy had years ago after she had her babies. I suppose having babies will do this to us, but I would be willing to put up and deal with it, like the others in the hive, if I could. But Rosa is adament that she wants no part of it, and Ed also does not like it so the doctor prescribed some pills Rosa is taking. I will ask her how that is working out and I will report back to the HIVE.

    On another score, my Dad still has not finished my tax returns for 2019 and he told me that he won’t do them right away b/c the goverment exteneded the time to file. Has anyone else in the HIVE heard about this? I don’t know what they all say, but he useually sends them to me and April 15 is behind us and that is why I asked. If anyone in the hive is also not filing, can you let us know. I am sure Dad is right, but I do not know why he didn’t tell me earlier. Since I was sitting here with nothing to do, I thought the hive could share their insight. TIA!

  16. Ugh, I need the hive mind. My spouse really wants to go visit his elderly father, who is ailing (though not near death’s door). This would involve a plane trip. Elderly father lives with his daughter and another daughter lives nearby so it’s not as though he is isolated. He is REALLY pushing for me to come along. We would stay in a separate, “uncontaminated” place. Thoughts please.

    1. No one can weigh this out as well as you since you have the most information about your particular situation. That said, it is exhausting doing that and if you don’t know what to do, why not err on the side of caution? Is there some compelling reason FaceTime won’t do?

      1. Same anon. Misread that train travel was involved. I would definitely avoid planes. Many people are sick and dying in hot zones … if you’re not already in one then don’t expose yourself to one or bring it to your community through travel. (And if you are in one still don’t expose yourself at the airport or carry it someplace else).

      2. I mean if the dad dies at any point in the near future, I dont think FaceTime is quite the same.

        It’s obviously a very personal decision. And we don’t have a lot of other info. Like where is the dad – home, nursing home or hospital? How serious? Of what?

        I can’t say what OP should do, I don’t think anyone can. But having not realized how sick my dad was and not gotten to really say good bye is probably my biggest regret in life so if I were the husband I’d go (assuming no health issues for him or other special circumstances). But I don’t think you both need to go.

    2. I wouldn’t get on a plane. Let husband go if he must but he has to isolate when he gets back. Also remind him that he could be taking corona to his ailing father, which would definitely make him ail worse, if not die

    3. I’ve heard different things and I don’t know how to predict what you would get. I was talking to a friend yesterday who said she had a young solo colleague who traveled home to parents’ while WFH and plane was empty. My DH said he saw a buzzfeed article that plane travel was crowded though (NO social distancing, aggressive people) however I haven’t been able to find it. Empty plane would be not too worrying… maybe? I would probably not go though given FIL is not isolated. Seems better to wait to me but then I’m waiting to visit my elderly mother (who I can drive to see) so maybe I’m biased. Good luck on your decision regardless, this is a tough time.

    4. I wouldn’t stand in the way of my spouse visiting his parent, but I also would not go. I had to take my elderly father from his nursing home to the hospital last week for a non-COVID reason and would not let my partner come along with us, even though he wanted to support us. My thought was that there was a need for someone to do this task (and if your father-in-law is ailing, there might be a very good reason for him to go see his father), but two people doing the task is doubling the risk.

    5. Your husband has a responsibility to you to stay alive and not to risk infecting you, and a responsibility to his father not to infect him. Neither of you should go.

    6. Ask your spouse if he could live with the guilt if he brought coronavirus into his father’s home.

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