What Clothes Do You Buy Again and Again?

Happy Monday, ladies! Let’s talk about those clothing pieces that you buy over and over again — those gems that become your perennial favorites, the ones that are always available for sale (albeit, perhaps, in new colors). Here on the site we’ve discovered a few — “THE skirt” from Nordstrom (and the Frenchi shrunken cardigan blazer from the junior’s department), the Target wedges, the Kate Spade Halle wedges… I might also include the Tory Burch Simone cardigan, and perhaps this ruched faux wrap dress from Suzi Chin… what else? My friend Auntie M wrote about her must-have Amber Sun pants (which are now back in stock, incidentally) — what are your must-haves?

Pictured below, some of the must-haves we’ve talked about here on the blog… (we’ve also talked about your favorite tops under suits as well as your favorite comfortable heels…)

 

(L-all)

(P.S. Unintentionally, many of these pieces are available at Nordstrom — do you guys consider that to be the department store you go to for “classics” or is it just coincidence? Perhaps that’s another discussion entirely, where you go when you’re looking for __ type of clothes…)

Comments

  1. housecounsel :

    Oh, the Skirt, the beloved Skirt. I asked this below but it is waiting in moderation. I bought it in teal and in mustard yellow and it is AMAZING. I have a print blouse with camel and ivory and mustard, the same brand, that I plan to wear with the mustard yellow, but what, then, is my Third Piece, and what do I wear on my legs?

    My Tory Burch wedges in black are a major staple. J.Crew suiting is still my trusted friend in all situations, too.

    The older I get, the less I shop anywhere but Nordstrom.

  2. Diana Barry :

    I haven’t ever bought clothes at Nordstrom. I do buy bras there.

    For suits – J crew, BR (less often), and Theory (only have one but love it!).
    For t-shirts – J crew “perfect fit” tee for cotton. BR “luxe tee” or the modal equivalent for synthetic. Occasionally Forever 21 for really cheap ones. ThinkGeek for statement tees.
    Shoes – Nine West, Cole Haan, and a cobbler for stretching around the bunion. Also, Zappos!!
    Fun dresses and skirts – Boden.
    Blazers (non suit/matching) – J crew, Boden, BCBG.

  3. Ballerina Girl :

    Can we talk a bit about THE skirt and sizing? It runs big, but does it also seem to run long? Does it stretch out a lot over time? I’m 5’3″, 120-125 lbs (depending on the day!), bought the 6 reg and was swimming in it. Trying for the 6 petite now. Dare I go to the 4?

    • I’m 5’5″ 125 and wear the regular 2. I think you’d be fine in the 4P.

    • MissJackson :

      Thanks for asking this. I think I missed the beginning discussion of The Skirt, and have tried going back to find talk of fit, but failed. I see from the Nordstrom reviews that it runs big.

      I’m solidly an 8 in the JCrew pencil skirt. Do I really need a 6? I was going to try to get to the local Nordstrom to try on (apparently my local store only carries it in black – lame) and then order online, but I’m a little panicked today because all 3 of the colors in my Norstrom shopping bag are now sold out (am pouting — really wanted Raisin). Am feeling like perhaps I need to order immediately or risk being entirely out of luck.

      • Yes, I’d guess that you do. I’m a solid 8 in BR & JCrew and I’m wearing either the 6 or 4 in The Skirt.

      • I’d say, yes. Size down. I’m 5’7, ~130lbs (also depending on the day!),and the 2 fit, but with comfortable room. I’m usually a 4 at all the other stores discussed above. I have ridiculously short legs (even ‘S’ and ‘P’ need heels for me), and the skirt didn’t seem too long. It hits mid-knee, but for a pencil skirt, I like that hem length. ENJOY!

        • MissJackson :

          Thanks! (sorry for the duplicate post above — I got an error, but apparently the first post went through anyway). This is very helpful because I’m 5’4″ and it sounds like the length will be just right for me.

          I got a couple of colors and now I’m excited! I hope I love it as much as the rest of you ladies!

          (And, holy moly, someone might have to help me with styling suggestions because I was feeling really bold and ordered the “Ginger Wine” which looks like it might be roughly traffic-sign-orange. I love orange, but this will be an adventure even for me!)

          • don't need a boyfriend :

            teal? greens? purple if you’re feeling wild? plum/burgundy?

            You might look at boden for some color combinations…

            Hope you like it as much as I do … I must have at least 8 in the total now, spring and fall colors…and one black back up when the current one wears out. Does that even happen?)

            light grey
            dark grey
            lilac
            plum
            cobalt blue
            red
            coral/pinky
            black

          • MissJackson :

            Very helpful, thanks!! I’ll have to play around when it arrives, but I really like the burgundy idea!

    • I think Halogen runs large in general, so sizing down for the skirt makes sense (even in petites).

      I recently ordered, and returned, a Halogen jacket in XSP. I laid it over the regular XS to compare and found that the only difference was that the sleeves were shorter. Very disappointing.

    • I am 5 ft 4, 120 lbs. I have it in a size 2P. Fits great. Wearing it today.

    • anonymous :

      I just saw that Halogen has a high waisted pencil skirt out now. I’m about 5’7″ with most of my height in my torso — very short legs, especially in the thigh. I have heard that a higher waist with a hem above the knee should help balance out my frame. Does anyone have experience with that? With all the “modern” fit skirts and pants, most of my wardrobe is well below my natural waist.

  4. Anonymous :
    • I bought and returned it. The material was very nice but the dress is cut VERY straight. It was very tight in the hips yet very baggy in the waist.

    • Yes, I bought it and really love it. I had to get some alterations done to the top (the reviews are accurate its really really narrow throught the hips but oddly roomy on top.) I got it on super sale though so spending about another $35 on alterations was really worth it.

      I got it in purple and I think its the perfect combination of a conservative dress in a fun color. I am keeping my eyes on the teal long sleeved version for when that goes on sale.

      Also, for reference I am 5’10” and usually take an 8T in boden dresses. Their dresses usually fit me well off the rack. This is the first time I’ve ever had to get one altered.

    • I own this, and it’s definitely a little tight on me around the hips. If your hips are wider than your waist, you might want to size up and get alterations done.

  5. Lana Lang :

    I WANT The Skirt – it was on my shopping list when I was last in the US, but couldn’t find it in an actual store, so it was a distant dream. Very sad.

    On an entirely unrelated note, I have recently joined a gym – hurrah! I have tried it a couple of times before, but never really enjoyed it, but this time (so far) I have really really liked it, although it is early days. I started Couch to 5k which really appeals to my over-achiever mentality and am alternating it with various classes and so far so good.

    I trust that Corporette has many seasoned gym-goers so I would love to hear your tips for gym-grooming, as I am going in the mornings before work (Big Law, too unpredictable for evenings and if I do finish early enough I want to eat food/do something social and not go to the gym). I am a little vexed by the sheer volume of things that I will need to carry around with me, but I am also practical enough to know that going home to get ready carries the potential for time-wasting and I would rather get it all done quickly. Therefore, what are your must-have gym-grooming accessories? What tricks do you use to make it all go faster/more efficiently in the gym? How do you minimise the volume of things to be carried around? I am thinking travel-sized products, but going 2-3 a week I can see I would have to replenish really frequently!

    • MissJackson :

      Does your gym have the option to rent a locker (on a permanent basis)? That helped me immensely — I just bought a duplicate set of all of my daily-use products. It was expensive up front, but saved me a lot of time and frustration. Otherwise, does your firm have a shower? If so, maybe you could keep a duplicate set of stuff there? (I know that there are people who run in the morning and then use my firm’s shower).

      • Lana Lang :

        This is a great idea (re hiring out a locker) and I will definitely ask about it.

        My firm does have showers, but the idea of running into partners/co-workers in the changing room in my gym gear strikes me as a little icky so I think I will stick to showering at the gym…

        • I work out every morning before work and am able to carry the basics without it feeling cumbersome. I have my second set of shampoo, conditioner, face wash, and body soap that I’m just keep in my gym bag. I mostly wax everything so I don’t have to worry about shaving. I have a small make up bag that’s made up of mostly sample sizes. I do shower at work because the convenience beats running into partners and co-workers so I just do it anyway. The biggest drag is that I have to bring my own towel, but it’s manageable.

        • Anonymous :

          Also…I don’t work out or shower at work, but if you run into a colleague in the locker room, then you are both seeing each other in athletic apparel or towel. It’s not like you’ll be in a room full of smartly dressed colleagues while you’re still in a tank top and pants, blowdrying your hair.

    • For minimizing the volume of things, I bought empty travel-sized containers and filled them with my regular products – this way I can replenish them at home as needed. I don’t carry things that I’m not picky about (e.g., cotton balls, deodorant (my gym has a spray one that is perfectly fine), disposable razors, etc.). I also have certain things that are dedicated for the gym so I don’t have to constantly pack/unpack my bag (like, a toothbrush and toothpaste, a comb, sunscreen, etc.). I don’t wear a lot of makeup, so my makeup routine is pretty short and easy (and also easy to carry).

  6. The problem is that everything changes. Wardrobe staples for me are pencil and a-line skirts, sheath dresses and cashmere cardigans of a nice length. I prefer the non-sweaters to be made of worsted wool or wool crepe, but I often can find only rayon in petite sizes.

    Every shopping trip is a new, expensive, spirit-dampening adventure. As a result, I’m trying to learn how to sew for myself — not that it’s easy.

    • I’ve never been inside a Nordstrom or ordered from one. As a New Yorker, all the name means to me is big suburban department store that I think is less expensive than Nieman Marcus (which I’ve never been in either).

      • semi-anon :

        Did you mean for that to sound snotty?

        • Anonymous :

          Or, even kind of sweetly pretending-to-be-snotty? Like a little girl aiming for grown-up cool. A New Yorker? My goodness. Dazzling.

          Eloise, is that you?

      • So?

      • Giving you the benefit of the doubt. It’s a higher-end department store; just a notch below NM but several thousand notches above Macy’s. It especially caters to professional women in the 75K+ income bracket. Hence the popularity on this site. It basically sets the gold standard in customer service.

        • I love Nordstrom and every time I travel to the US, I make sure it is the first store I step foot in. Agree with J, their customer service is the best.
          I show up with a list of items I need and a set budget. Believe me, they will spend hours with you until you find everything you need to your taste and within your budget.

      • Anonymous :

        I don’t get it. Do they not have Nordstrom in NYC?

        As a Chicagoan, I order from Nordstrom all the time, but have never been inside of one b/c I cannot be bothered to go there in person – not because I think of it as a suburban place. Though I have never been to one, I am sure there are 2-3 Nordstroms in the city and close to transit.

        • Alanna of Trebond :

          No, there is no Nordstrom in NYC. I actually think the Macy’s in NYC is *amazing* and I like it a great deal more than the Macy’s in my hometown (and even more than the old Hechts). I think I prefer Bloomingdales and Neiman Marcus (which is incidentally the same company as Bergdorfs, I think) to Nordstrom — I have an easier time with both their websites, but I don’t shop much in person in either. There is no Neiman Marcus in NYC, but there is a Bloomies.

          • Yep, Macy’s Herald and Union Square stores are 1000% different from your local Macy’s!

      • I have $80 in Nordstrom Notes right now, thank you Nordstrom debit card. Nordstrom is awesome.

        Also, Nordstrom is opening/opened a concept store in NYC and it donates a the store’s profit to charity.

        http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111903366504576486403437699190.html

      • I just moved from NYC to the suburbs of Boston, and everyone keeps encouraging me to shop at Nordstrom. I’ve tried – oh, I’ve tried. Wonderful salespeople, lovely layout, but – I have spent HOURS in there, trying on dozens of pieces, and have bought maybe 2 or 3 things. Everything seemed frumpy, predictable and poorly-made. There were some standouts – a gorgeous Rag & Bone blazer with elbow patches ($450!), some cute Tory Burch stuff ($$$!!!), but you can find that kind of high-end merchandise in Neiman Marcus or Saks or Bloomingdales. I don’t get the Nordstrom appeal at all – it might be a “suburban” aesthetic that I’m objecting to, but with this many Corporettes loving it, maybe I’m just missing something.

  7. I have the most amazing pair of Delman Mirin wedges – black suede with a patent toecap, and a 2.5″ heel which is perfect for walkability and height!

    J.Crew often has some nice heels around the same height, and some great sales online. It’s always a struggle to find shoes that aren’t flat, ridiculously high, or really ugly. Theory separates and suits are great standbys too and they have sample sales a few times a year.

  8. Maddie Ross :

    I second (third, fourth…) the Skirt as a great staple. My go-tos for suits are J.Crew and BR. Lately I’ve had good luck with Talbots suits as well, though I know some are put off by the unlined pants (which don’t bother me for some reason). For black pants, I’ve been really happy with the Gap perfect trouser, which I buy in the long version. The fit is flattering, if not slightly non-descript, but in general, when I’m wearing black pants, it’s because my top is louder or more colorful. For shoes, I’m obsessed with the Ann Taylor perfect pump. I have 6 different versions (platform and non-platform, patent, regular leather, slingback and booty).

    The one item I have yet to find is great layering tanks in a solid color, silk blend. I have a black one from Target of all places that gets frequent wears. I’d love suggestions, preferably less than $40 or so.

  9. Little Lurker :

    Nordstrom has been so good to me that it has earned all the free PR it gets.

    Signed,
    Bat Mitzvah Dress, Prom Dress, HS Graduation Dress, First Professional Heels, and 90% of my lingerie

  10. I really like Brooks’ Brothers for wool twinsets. I tend to wear the cardigans more, but buy the whole twinset for when the other piece is needed (or can wear the shells under a suit). They are kind of pricey, but if you wait til sales you can pick them up pretty reasonably.

  11. My winter work uniform is pretty much straight J.Crew: the 3/4 sleeve “perfect fit” tops and slim-leg corduroys–paired with a cardigan or blazer. Work trousers are incredibly unflattering on me, so the “jean” cut of their cords is a great compromise, and weather-appropriate for New England winters.

    I’m always buying “casual” blazers: usually tweed, corduroy, or cotton, and I wear them with everything–plus as lightweight coats during spring and fall. I tend to go for neutral colored shirts and bright colored jackets or cardigans.

    Summer is sheath dresses or else skirts with sheath tops, by which I mean the shoulder straps/sleeves are 2-3 inches wide. I don’t wear pants from May-October if I can help it.

    Pencil and A-line skirts; I can never resist them. Also, I’m pretty certain that every pair of socks I own is brightly-colored argyle.

    And menswear inspired shoes: brogues, oxfords, loafers, as well as high heels with menswear detailing.

    @LanaLang — THE ANSWER to gym grooming is at Lush. They do a product called a solid shampoo bar. It goes in a tiny tin case and it is soap, shampoo, and conditioner that fits in the palm of your hand. I backpacked through Europe for a month with one, and it was my only non-dental toiletry. They are wonderful and last for ages!

    • LOVE LOVE LOVE LUSH SHAMPOO BARS – not all of them have the shampoo and conditioner in them, but they are all a dream! i’m always singing their praises to others

    • How do you deal with needing to wear proper winter coats over casual jackets? I too have a bunch of casual jackets but find that if I wear them, it’s hard to get my wool coat on… too snug. I don’t have this issue with standard suit blazers but more so with casual jackets since they often have puffed shoulders, ruffles and other details. Any advice?

  12. anon for this :

    Threadjack: any actuaries out there? I’m a recent grad who is taking her first exam (P/1) on Friday, and I’m feeling completely, woefully unprepared right now…would be great to hear from some ladies who are more established in this career!

    • Research, Not Law :

      I’m not an actuary, but studied it in college. (After some informational interviews, I decided the lifestyle wasn’t for me). Just wanted to say good luck on the test! I reviewed the first two, and the first seemed pretty basic. Difficult, but textbook. I’m sure you will do fine once it’s in front of you. :)

    • no advice, but good luck to you!

    • My daddy is an actuary. I’ve sent him your post and hopefully, he’ll ask some of his female colleagues in his office to respond to you. But in case he doesn’t…

      Truly, I’m impressed! The exams are hard, but becoming an ASA and then an FSA will certainly open up doors for you. It provided a great lifestyle for our family – my dad rarely traveled and besides studying for exams, it enabled him to always be around.

      Thinking of you and looking forward to hearing how it goes.

  13. Second the rec for Ann Taylor perfect pump. They are more comfortable and than my Cole Haan’s and are a perfect shape and height. I have…counting in my head…holy cow…TEN versions. Every time a new color comes out, I snap it up.

  14. Anon for this :

    I’m writing this post just in hope that at least one person will respond with something that will comfort me right now… Also is someone could find a thread where this type of situation was discussed. So here is goes. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years. We met at 18 during our freshman year or college. After graduating in 2008 we began living together. We stayed in out college town (about 2 hours away from our hometowns). So two Friday’s ago we are cleaning our apartment together and he sits down and starts crying. I knew something was up and he said he didn’t want to be in relationship any longer. Well fast forward a week and he has been sleeping on the couch and is moving into another apartment in our building on 10/1. I don’t have any friends left in the area and I don’t have good enough friends to talk to about what I’m going through. To be honest I’ve only told one friend and my mom about this. I’m heartbroken and feel so lonely. What should I do? I really don’t want this. We really are best friends and he told me he still cares about me and wants to remain best friends. I need advice!? This has all happened so fast. I’m pretty focused on my career… But I find myself thinking about this 24/7, even at work. I don’t want my work to suffer but it already is. Is there a chance he will ever want to be together again? … I’m lost :(

    Sorry for the long rant.

    • Anon for this :

      Sorry for all the typos. I can’t type on my iPhone.

      • Anonymous :

        I’m so sorry – that sucks. I’ve been there, and I know how much you’re hurting. I recommend using whatever Employee Assistance Program you have to get to a therapist stat. You need to talk to someone, and you need to figure out how to minimize the effect on your work and the rest of your life.

      • Things like these are always painful. Just hang in there, you will get through it one step at the time even though it seems impossible right now. It’s very understandable that it influences your work, but that too will change gradually. I wish you all the best.

    • Hang in there! This is going to be really tough but you’ll get through it. You will not remain best friends with your ex. There is a chance you’ll get back together down the road but you need a clean break. Tell him he needs to find a place in a different building so you don’t keep seeing him. If he won’t, move out when your lease is up or move out earlier and get someone to sublet. Sign up for an activity where you’ll at least be around people (fitness class, volunteer etc.). Tell your friends so you can get the support you need. Good luck! You’ll be fine.

      • Agree, agree and agree. A clean break is required. It absolutely stinks – you *want* to see him after all – but it’s needed or it’s so, so difficult to begin to start healing. I agree that doing something, though it might seem like the last thing you want to do, is important too. It’ll hurt (7 years is a long time!), but you will get through it.

    • Whoa…that’s a lot to deal with right now. I can only speak from personal experience. I broke up with my boyfriend after several years together because we were both still young (mid-20s) and had been together since we met at age 18. I just felt we needed time apart and I was going through a major transition and needed to know if this was “right” or not. We ultimately got back together several years later and married and have been married for 5+ years. Those years apart were hard, but I know it was the right decision for us because neither of us were ready to commit then and without the breakup, we were just muddling along. I have another friend who did something similar and they never got back together.

      I say all this because you need to know that really neither of you can predict now whether you end up coming back together or not, but you can try to use this break to figure out who you are apart from him.

      A couple of pieces of practical advice: Try to avoid going places where you have memories with him involved. Make new memories that do not involve him. Living in the same building is likely going to suck — I would take active steps to avoid the “run-in” with him. Stay busy — even if you have to join a knitting or Portuguese class.
      Sending you positive thoughts.

    • So sorry, *hugs* being sent your way.

      This may be the post you’re referring to, the thread starts with the second post by Ses.
      http://corporette.com/2011/09/02/weekend-open-thread-98/

    • Anon, I’m so sorry. That must be heart-breaking and so, so hard. There was a thread along these lines recently, of going through a break-up and keeping it together at work. I just can’t remember when.

      The only advice I can give you is this: muscle through the next few weeks (maybe months). It will hurt, sometimes badly. But if he does not want a romantic relationship with you, then IMO, it’s better to pull off the band-aid now than to continue on. You two have been together for a very long time and it’s possible you’ve grown in different directions. Nothing wrong with either of you, just that you don’t quite “fit” the same way together any more. It’s hard and sad … but there’s nothing wrong with either of you.

      As for the chance that he may want to be together again — only he can speak to that, and I’m guessing, not right now. I would tell him that you still love him and hope he changes his mind, once. Once he moves out, I suspect that on-going contact is going to keep re-breaking your heart. Let him move out, let him figure out what he wants and start moving on with your life. Maybe he will come back, but I strongly recommend you DON’T bank on that now, instead treat it as a wonderful surprise if it does happen.

      Also — reach out to your friends, even if not in the area. Maybe reach out to a therapist, if you need a safe place to talk/cry, at least in the short term. Go visit your parents. Start building a life without him, as horribly awful and painful as that may seem right now.

      (((hugs)))

    • Ballerina Girl :

      Oh, I’m so sorry, that’s the absolute worst. Seven years is a long time to be with someone–but you are both still very young and could take some time apart to see how you feel. There are no rules in any of this–you could get back together or decide you’re better off apart. That said, you may realize that your boyfriend is right and that this is for the best.

      In the mean time, treat yourself well and cut yourself some slack. It’s normal you’d be thinking about this nonstop in the beginning. Can you take a long weekend and go somewhere? Visit family?

    • I’m very sorry for what you’re going through; it’s the worst.
      No matter what happens with the relationship going forward, I promise you that you will feel better. Don’t beat yourself up for dwelling on it; do the best you can and just believe that it’ll get better and easier.

    • Sending hugs your way. It’s really hard, especially the first few months. I had a realtionship with the same timing (started dating at 18, moved away together, broke up at 25). Ultimately, it all worked out – I’m now happily married to someone else. But right after the break-up, it’s awful and it’s all you can think about. I found it impossible to concentrate on school or anything else. I remember wanting to just go to sleep for a year. Just know that time heals everything, and that you can and will get through this. If you’re meant to get back together, you will. But if you’re not, be grateful that this is happening now and not years from now, when you’re married and/or have children. Do tell someone at work though – if you can, let your boss know. When you’ve been with someone that long, it’s almost like a mini-divorce. People will understand and be supportive. Many of them have gone through similar periods in their own lives. Hang in there!

    • I’m so sorry. I’ve had long term relationships end (on the receiving end), and it’s hard. My advice to you is do not actually be best friends with him. I know it’s tempting, and he still lives close by, and he knows you so well, but….. you won’t begin healing unless you stop contact (at least temporarily). I don’t know anyone who has been able to transition from a relationship into a close, platonic, totally-cool-if-you-date-someone-else friendship overnight.

      Also, find a new place if you can – as soon as you can get out of your lease. You need to move away from seeing him every day. And as someone else suggested, perhaps finding a therapist to at least work through the immediate pain would be a good idea. I have a friend who got back together with her college boyfriend after ~5 years apart, so it can happen. But, like other people said, don’t bank it.

      Do make the time to be good to yourself right now. After he moves out, maybe take a day or two off work and lay around in your pj’s, cry, eat a bunch of takeout and ice cream, watch movies, and take a mental health day. Go to a yoga class, take a walk, read some trashy novels. And then pick yourself up and realize that the next day will be slightly easier.

    • *Hugs* – I am so sorry to hear this. I was in a very similar situation. I had the same BF starting from 17 and we were together until I was 25. We went as far as getting engaged – but then I backed out. We both knew it wasn’t going to work though. The next few months will be really really hard, especially since you are not just mourning the loss of a boyfriend, but of a bestfriend too (as you indicated). I agree with some of the other ladies here that you need distance and time to heal. Cut off communication – does not have to be forever, but for a while until you have gotten over the pain, do so. It is going to be very hard to do that if you are in the same building so I really would try to see if he or you could move somewhere else. A day will come when things will feel much brighter – I promise. My break up was hands down the best thing that ever happened to me…but at the time it was sooo painful. I suggest joining classes to get your mind off things – maybe foreign language, exercise, ballroom dance? Anything fun. Even if it feels like you will never get through this right now, hang in there…you will. We are routing for you!

    • Anon for this :

      Thank you everyone! I will try my best to follow everyone’s advice. I used to go to ballet barre at a gym that is on my block.. I am going to strt going again. I have about 10 trashy novels that I bought when Borders was closing.. So I will read those to pass some time and get my mind off everything.

      Im out the door at 7am and he doesn’t go to work until 9..I’m home around 7 and he has evening appointments. We also use 2 different entrances to the building and elevators. It’s a big building with about 200 tenants. I have to stay here until my lease is up on 12/1. I don’t think we’ll see each other more than 2x’s a month.

      Thanks again. I kept thinking it won’t get better but not I’m looking forward for when it does.

      • Are you in Philly? I get that sense from you mentioning barre and Border’s closing. If you are, us Philly Corporettes should organize a meet-up! I’ve included my email if anyone is interested! Hang in there! If you are in Philly, you will probably have good luck finding someone to sublet your place (if your ex ends up staying in your building.) Luckily, it’s a big enough city that you can probably avoid running into him for a while (as per advice above.)

        • Anon for this :

          I wish I was in Philly. It would be much easier to keep busy if I was. I am about 2 hours north of Philly in Northeastern PA. The area I live in is very safe and I wouldn’t really feel comfortable living in any other part of this city. I’m going to ask my building manager if I can get a 6 month extension on my lease. If by June I’m still in this state I am just going to move back home to the NYC area. Thanks again for everyone’s advice and comfort. I know that everyday is suppopsed to be easier, but it is getting harder. I believe what everyone said and am just looking forward to being myself again.

    • The same thing happened to me. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. My approach was to give him space (i.e. no phone calls, texts, demanding long conversations about why etc.) but to make it clear to him that I want to make the relationship work if he’s willing to put the effort in. I explained that the years of love and caring for each other won’t vanish overnight, and that it was worth something at one time, and shouldn’t be thrown away. And then I let him go. Because really, you can’t force someone to stay with you. After a few agonizing days, he came back told me that he didn’t want to leave but wasn’t sure he could stay, and I suggested therapy. We went to therapy. Turns out he was depressed about work, I wasn’t as supportive as I should have been, he cheated (!!) and felt guilty about it, we hadn’t been having sex ever, etc. etc. etc. We worked through all of it, and are married today. BUT at the time I was willing to walk away. At the time I saw myself surviving the loss, and I think that is what made it work for me. If I had pursued him too much, it would have scared him away I think. The fact that I just told him that I was willing to make it work, but then backed off and gave him space, I think that made all the difference for me.

      I hope you are able to manage during this time. I know how hard this can be, and how impossible it is to concentrate on anything else, and how earth shattering it can feel. Try not to tell too many more people, but lean on the people you have told. And make sure you take care of yourself physically and mentally.

      • Anon for this :

        Thank you for the great advice. That’s great to hear you’re happily married now. I’m trying to avoid communication as beat as possible. However with such a quick move on his part we are trying to divide furniture and figure out how to wrap up all our bills (utilities, parking spaces, etc.). I’m trying to be as strong as I can around him. Thanks again everyone.

  15. Happy Monday! :

    Staples for me are Calvin Klein sheath dresses, Theory ANYTHING (seriously, nothing fits better than Theory on my body), Rock and Republic jeans, CH shoes, Kate Spade bags, Tahari suits. JCrew for the shells, shirts, pencil skirts, etc. to fill in the rest of my wardrobe. Doesn’t hurt that there is a JCrew across the street from my office building that I have to walk by on the way home.

    This isn’t a fashion staple, but for those women, like me, who have that awkward “not quite curly not quite wavy but halfway in between” thick long hair, the Aveda “go curly” line. It is the only thing that can make my hair do . . . well . . . anything reasonable.

    • I also like the Aveda straightening stuff for the days that you want to go straight. My hair is thick and wavy in back, curly underneath and straight on top front. :)

      • Wow – somebody else who has my hair! The front is pretty straight, the outermost layer in the back is a little wavy, and the underlayer in the back is really curly. Drives me insane. I’ll have to look for that Aveda straightening stuff.

  16. Ms. No Name. :

    This is perfect for the question I’ve been waiting to ask. What would you ladies wear with the Skirt as pictured above? I have it in the same color (Blue Turq.) and am having a lot of trouble figuring out how to style it. TIA!

    • Anonylawyer :

      I have the SKIRT in 4 colors (black, light purple from the Spring, olive green, and the new fall magenta). I wear it lots of ways. In addition to the obvious white or black (for my colored skirts), I like to find cool prints that pick up the color and tie it together with a neutral cardi. I also love to wear a belt to break up the color line and the blouse. Agreat resource is http://www.youlookfab.com because a lot of the ladies over there have the SKIRT too. Also blogger at http://www.thedailysophisticate.com has the skirt in a few colors.

    • I have it too, and wore it last week with a black and beige striped cowl neck top and red patent heels. It’d also look good with a magenta pink, mustard if that works with your skin, and a variety of browns. I like the way they have it styled on the website, with a dark brown blouse.

      • don't need a boyfriend :

        I also love how the same saturation of purple and grey make a great combination with the teal. There’s also copper…esp. if you can wear that color glamorously.

    • When I’m wearing a really vivid piece like this, I tend to pair it with things that calm it down a bit for work. Dark gray cardigan/jacket, cream or maybe a pale pink blouse/t-shirt/shell, gray suede boots or heels. Alternatively, this would look lovely with deep purple/plum.

  17. Ekaterin Nile :

    I just ordered the Frenchie shrunken cardigan blazer in black. It was on sale!!!

  18. I am slowly starting to shop almost exclusively at Nordstrom. A few factors contribute to this: (1) customer service cannot be rivaled and I swear every time I buy something at Bloomindales or elsewhere I regret it because it breaks/goes on sale, etc. (2) their online store is amazing and has the best pictures and sorting options, (3) returns are easy because I can walk to Nordstrom from my office, (4) I have no time for the bricks and mortar type shopping anymore, so online ordering is probably 90% of my shopping.

    Oh, also I love my Nordstrom visa card! I get free shipping on every order now, so that is HUGE. I refuse to pay for shipping on clothes anymore.

  19. Brooks Brothers non-iron button up shirts. I actually like the Classic Fit best, which a lot of people find boxy, but at 2 sizes down from my usual-ish dress size, it looks tailored without being tight, especially in the upper-arm area.

    Also, thanks to all those who responded to my weekend thread post about being totally overwhelmed. There was a lot of helpful advice, including about rejuvenating through friend time… which I honestly hadn’t thought of because I was so moved to withdraw and hide. Managed to move a few things along over the weekend, and although I still have that tight-chest stress, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for the support.

  20. here’s what i find myself buying over and over again:

    – tory burch sheath dresses
    – tocca heavy winter wool skirts/dresses/blazers (so warm!)
    – ben sherman and free people sweaters/knits
    – tory burch silk jersey button downs
    – patterned j crew perfect shirts (the silk/cotton blend ones are the best for looking put together in the summer)
    – AG jeans (usually the same stilt cut, which is meant to be cropped but hits me right at my ankle, which i like)
    – anthropologie quirky patterned pencil skirts
    – foley and corinna bags (love the city tote in all sizes)
    – almond toe wedge pumps for work – various brands, but i always buy every color when i find ones i like
    – wide leg dress pants- no other type will do
    – metallic shoes – silver, pewter, burnished gold, so versatile
    – non-fussy flats (usually in a stuble metallic, see above)
    – flowy solid colored silk tops – perfect under a suit or tucked into a patterned skirt
    – lots of opaque tights for the winter – usually black/gray, and jewel tones
    – ankle high flat and heeled boots
    – everything in a particular shade of eggplant purple
    – the same neutrals: navy, a middle shade of gray, various browns
    – texture: i’m a sucker for plaids, houndstooth, herringbone, you name it

    of course, i avoid buying exact dupes, but this is my formula and i always buy more of whatever i’ve listed above, i always know how to style these items so they work seamlessly into my wardrobe.

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