Weekend Open Thread

Current Elliott Stiletto Gold Foil JeansSomething on your mind? Chat about it here.

Call me crazy, but I’m coveting these glitter/foil jeans — they look like they’d be great for personal holiday parties (and the occasional date night).  The price seems pretty great, too:  they were $208, then marked to $89, but they’re currently $62.30 at Last Call’s sale.  (They’re also offering code 25LUCKY3 for “mystery savings” so they may come even lower than that!). Current Elliott Stiletto Gold Foil Jeans

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  1. Thank you all for the Zojirushi recommendation. I am amazed that it keeps my hot coffee hot! And my cold water cold! I didn’t believe the teeny tube could actually hold 16 oz but lo and behold, it does. AND liquid hasn’t seeped out of it yet. RAWR OF APPROVAL.

  2. wildkitten :

    I love these jeans. I couldn’t pull them off, but I love them.

  3. A Nonny Moose :

    25lucky3 only works with minimum $100 purchase, just so everyone knows.
    These jeans are really fun.

  4. How is Neiman Marcus brand cashmere?

    • Flying Squirrel :

      It’s alright. I find it runs fairly large imho, but the quality is decent. Not the best ever, but pretty good for the Last Call prices (I wouldn’t pay full price).

    • I have 2 sweaters – one is pretty good and one is meh. I think one was made for Last Call specifically and one is for their regular store. They vary accordingly.

      I am much happier with the Saks cashmere available on fashion fix and their outlets, also the L&T sweaters.

    • I have 5 of them. It’s pretty good. Very little pilling in the 1+ year I’ve had them.

  5. just have to get through this call
    just have to get through this call
    it doesn’t have to be good
    i just have to get through it
    just have to get through this call
    just have to get through this call
    just have to get through this call
    just have to get through this call
    ok, thanks and sorry

  6. Is anyone here a member of 85 Broads? Is it worth joining? I’m in the NYC area. I’m a fourth year litigation associate at a large firm, thinking of leaving in the next few years, most likely to move in-house. It seems like it could be a great opportunity for networking, especially to meet non-lawyers.

    • wildkitten :

      Hmm. Also interested – I’d be a the “visionary” level.

    • I was member of a regional 85Broad chapter. The NYC chapter is most active and I think it would be good for networking opportunites, they had a good mix of finance and other professsions. Most of the breakfasts, networking, speakers, career dev events that I get from their mailing list are all in NY so you can get most out of it if you are in NYC. You can join and find out, basic membership fees was fairly reasonable. I first found out about them from a book called “More than 85 Broad”, lot of inspirational stories about women in various career paths.

  7. Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler :

    THANK YOU to whomever posted the Smitten Kitchen recipe with the sesame miso dressing. That stuff is beyond awesome! Now, I always have to have the ingredients in my house.

  8. To continue Susedna’s thread from earlier since I missed it (darn those students)….

    What are you thankful for?

    I am thankful:
    -that my nephews are 16 and 17 and still are so happy to see me and hang out with me. I feel blessed.
    -my kitty! – she is doing great and feeling so much better and is her snuggly little evil princess self again.
    -for my wonderful sweet SO who loves me and tells me that every day.

    I’d be even more thankful if I could get well!

    • Yay being thankful.

      I am thankful:

      -that my sinus infection is going away and I can finally hear and breathe moderately well
      -that my 12-week old baby slept from 11:30 pm until 5:45 am for the first time ever last night (that long stretch of sleep probably contributed to me feeling better, as well)
      -that I came back from maternity leave this week to a job that I legitimately enjoy and coworkers that I actually like
      -for my husband, who is the most outstanding dad that I know and whose love for his sons inspires me
      -for my parents and in-laws, who actually make my life easier rather than more complicated
      -for wine, fuzzy slippers, and cashmere

    • Anonymous :

      Obviously family & friends & my sweet dog, but also:

      -To have a new job that I love so far (and am not bored at!)
      -To have a strong marriage where we laugh and smile every day
      -To have a lot of fun things on the horizon in 2014

    • I have been trying to be thankful a few times a week. Here are mine:

      -I got a new JOB yesterday with a raise and I start in a week or so (won’t have to put up with old boss anymore!)
      -I’m always thankful for the good health of my three kids and the general good health of most of my family and in-laws
      -Thankful for my girlfriends who look out for me

    • I almost never comment, but I am feeling particularly thankful these days.

      I am thankful for:
      – my wife, who returned safely last night from her biz trip
      – my adorable son, who just started walking and is so proud of himself
      – coworkers who make being away from my family almost bearable
      – the rare-but-supposed-to-last-all-weekend sunshine (in November in Oregon!)

  9. Does anyone here watch Indian movies? I’m planning a trip to India and was hoping to watch something fun to get inspired. Book recommendations also welcome. I basically like to immerse myself in some fun culture to help me get psyched for my trips. TIA!

    • As far as films go:
      – one of my favourites (with some actual production quality) – Devdas
      – also, I really liked Parineeta, if you can find it
      – Lagaan and Sholay are classics (Sholay is basically what a Western would be like if it was in India; Lagaan is all about cricket)
      – Rang de Basanti

      I also liked Abhimaan (great music) and the most recent film of the lot, Taare Zameen Par (I cried like crazy).

      Lage Raho Munnabhai is hilarious and a really interesting commentary on the cult of Gandhiji.

      In terms of books, a couple I have enjoyed are:
      A Suitable Boy, by Vikram Seth (one of my favourite books ever)
      A Fine Balance, by Rohinton Mistry
      Midnight’s Children, by Salman Rushdie
      The Painter of Signs, by R.K. Narayan (or basically anything by R.K. Narayan)
      The White Tiger, by Arvind Adiga

      As a colonial commentary, I like A Passage to India by E.M. Forster.

      That should get you started!

    • Anonymous :

      It’s pretty Westernized, but I love Bride and Prejudice.

    • Kal Ho Na Ho is my favorite Bollywood movie.

    • Not a movie, but a book recommendation — if you’re going to visit Delhi, I recommend “City of Djinns: A Year in Delhi.” It’s a great non-fiction combination of history and a (British?) journalist’s experiences in the city.

      This is not a Bollywood movie, but I have always loved Monsoon Wedding, also.

    • One very old classic — Silsila. It’s very stilted in the way that the 1950s MGM musicals in the U.S. were stilted, but it a young Amitabh Bachchan, his (estranged?) wife, Jaya Bachchan, and Rekha (with whom he had a long affair). Art imitates life imitates art imitates life…

      Also “English Vinglish” was interesting (and kind of sad.)

    • Diana Eck’s _India: A Sacred Geography_ was wonderful. I loved learning about all the holy places in India and why they’re significant.

      Also, if you’re a history buff, Ramachandra Guha’s _India after Gandhi_ is very worthwhile. It explain a lot of why modern India is what it is, politically, socioeconomically, and linguistically.

      For travel tips (like making sense of train fares and timetables, which I found confusing until I read this book, as well as an excellent piece on how to enjoy tourism in India while remaining balanced and aware of some of the social ills and respectful of the locals’ pride in their country), try J.D. Viharini’s _Enjoying India_.

      • Thanks all! I have three Bollywood movies and Monsoon Wedding on their way to my house right now. Looking into the books. You are an invaluable source of information as always.

        PS: I’ve read and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE God of Small Things and @ Susedna, Enjoying India sounds wonderful and perfect. Thank you!

        • Anonymous :

          If you’re in the mood for something completely fluffy, I recommend “Bride and Prejudice,” with Aishwarya Rai in the Elizabeth Bennet role. It’s a musical, which I know not everyone likes, but the songs are very catchy and you’ll recognize half the actors from English and American TV.

        • LifeScienceGoingToFinance :

          I really liked this book, it gives you an inside into the culture. I found it very useful for preparing my trip to India several years ago:
          “Culture Shock! India: A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette” by Gitanjkali Koland http://amzn.to/1bd6gMw

    • Anonymous :

      Abhimaan…my favourite movie. Interestingly the theme is about a successful guy dealing with his wife’s success, and what that does to the marriage.



    • Brown Baby Lawyer :

      If you’re spending time in Mumbai, you have got to read Maximum City by Suketu Mehta.
      And even though it’s a children’s book, Haroun and the Sea of Stories by Salman Rushdie (especially after reading God of Small Things, which was beautiful but a total downer).

      Films — I loved Omkara which is based off Othello. Second the suggestions for Rang De Basanti, Lagaan, Sholay, Kal Ho Na Ho, and Munnabhai MBBS.

    • Can’t believe no one has suggested Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts. First and most importantly, it’s an excellent novel. As a side benefit, it describes indian culture in a way that is insightful and immersive. It’s hard for someone inside a culture to describe it accurately for outsiders. There are lots of books set in India and/or by and about indian people, but for getting a sense of the place from an outsiders perspective, you can’t beat Shantaram. Mostly, though, it’s just really good. If you aren’t in the mood for a 900 page novel, I’d suggest Jhumpa Lahiri- especially her short stories, which I prefer to The Namesake. She primarily writes about indian people struggling to assimilate (or not) in North America, but that works better for helping an outsider understand the culture.

      Bollywood will only get you so far… it’s a good place to start, but everything is whitewashed and melodramatic and absurd. It’s good to get a sense of cultural values (aspirational values at least) and ideals, but it won’t give you much of a sense of actual indian culture. Others probably gave you better recs for this, I’m not that into Bollywood. But I can weigh in this much: Lagaan is classic and very good (the storyline of the white british woman is absurd to the point of being comical- but as a white lady married to an indian guy, i’m sensitive on that point). Jodhaa Akbar is another great historical piece. There’s some modern (toned down) stuff avail on Netflix streaming that portray normal life a bit more– Life in a Metro is good, sort of like an indian Love Actually. No One Killed Jessica was ok. Bride and Prejudice tells you very little about indian culture, but it is pretty fluffy and fun. I liked it. Along similarly fluffy lines, there’s an indian version of Clueless called Aisha. Not as good as the american Clueless, but a fun movie.

      • ExcelNinja :

        I adored the descriptions of Indian culture and cities and life in Shantaram but hated the story. There were so many perfect coincidences, and the protagonist seemed invincible. I can wholeheartedly recommend A Suitable Boy and A Fine Balance.

        This thread, and a discussion with some Indian coworkers the other day, are really making me want to plan a trip to India!!

  10. Can't think of a single one! :

    Can you? (I truly want to know if I’m overlooking something)

    1) A character in a mainstream TV show or movie who decides to get an abortion and goes through with it?

    2) A female-dominated professional field that pays well?

  11. gift ideas :

    Looking for gift ideas for my husb. I’ve read some of the suggestions on previous threads but nothing has jumped out at me. We celebrate Hanukkah so we normally do 8 gifts, ranging from free things to about $100 or so, with most gifts in the $20-$40 range. He is nerdy but not geeky if that makes any sense (he’s not into gadgets at all and doesn’t own or desire a smartphone, tablet, camera or kindle), he doesn’t read for pleasure and isn’t into clothes, travel, photography or cooking. He plays video games but has told me there aren’t any new ones he wants. He’s also really into a lot of different sports, both playing and watching. I can’t think of any sports equipment he needs & I will probably get him tickets to an NBA game as his biggest gift, so I’m really looking for smaller (<$50) things.

  12. Friend complains constantly :

    Re-posting from this morning’s thread since I posted it too late to get many responses. I have a close friend who just complains All. The. Time. We text a lot during the day because we live in different states, but it’s getting annoying to me now because she’ll complain about every little thing that’s going wrong (“omg it’s so hot out today. ugh my boss is 15 minutes late to our meeting. ugh I hit so much traffic on the way home. I’m so tired today”) and on and on and on. Is there any way I can politely tell her that I don’t want to be the recipient of all of life’s little annoyances? She has a tendency to get defensive, even though she’s stated in the past that she would like to not complain so much. I’ve just been ignoring most of the texts and changing the subject, but I feel like that’s not really doing anything to stop them. TIA!

    ETA: I responded to another poster saying this friend complains a lot anyway, but especially over text because it’s so fast and easy and she won’t be deterred by my visual cues.

    • I would re-direct whenever possible: “Oh, that sucks. Doing anything fun this weekend?” If she continues to complain, I’d say something glib: “Is ANYTHING good happening with you?” Hopefully she’ll get the hint?

      • Friend complains constantly :

        I usually do try to redirect (unless it’s a serious complaint about something important), but I’m lucky to get even a brief reprieve. I know I just need to confront her and say something, but it’s hard to do it without sounding super harsh or unsupportive. I might have to try your glib method again – it’s been a while since I did anything more obvious like that.

        Also, thanks to the ladies who did respond on the other thread – definitely keeping track of them all!

    • Is it possible that she thinks this constitutes actual conversation? I dated a guy once who was a constant complainer (not randomly, but his observations about other people were usually in the form a complaint). I spent some time with him and his family and I realized that it was basically how they talked about their day. This could just be her way of having something to say when there isn’t much going on. Not that any of that is a solution to the problem.

      Depending how confrontational you want to be, you could try point blank saying “I love you, but the past 10 things you’ve sent to me have been complaints, and I’m now in the position of needing to complain about your complaining. I’m 1000 miles away and can’t do anything about these annoyances, so I’d really prefer to talk about something more constructive/positive. If you don’t have anything to share, that’s okay – I’d just like to be able to hear about the positive things happening in your life.”

      • Anon in NYC :

        I agree that she is probably just making conversation. Some people don’t know how to make conversation unless there is something they can complain about. And they don’t really realize how negative they sound, or that they’re unconsciously bringing someone else (and themselves!) down. I have a friend who always seems to hate everybody and everything. It’s exhausting to be around her for more than a few hours.

        I would stop responding to her more innocuous complaints (weather, traffic, boss being late). I personally don’t think confronting her about her complaining is the best way to approach this because, as you said, this is part of her personality and it seems like she’s already self-conscious about it since she has said that she’d like to stop complaining so much. Instead I would redirect. I would send her a text and say something like, “let’s talk about something happy. what are you doing this weekend?” or ask about her pet, a hobby, whether she’s gone skiing yet this season, etc.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      You say that she gets defensive. What do you think will happen if you bring up the fact she has said she wants to complain less? Would it cause her to get mad and stew about it for a few days then see the light and forgive you or would it cause a huge fight? If its the first one, I think is say something, in a loving way, ideally over the phone instead of in a text.

      Or how about responding each time she complains by saying “that sucks but what are you grateful for/happy about right now?” Personally that would drive me crazy if I were her and I’d prefer you just talk to me about it but you know best how she would react.

      • Friend complains constantly :

        I almost did that today (“that’s too bad about babysitting sucking. what good things are going on right now?”) but I chickened out because I feel like I would go crazy with that response too. Normally I think she’d stew for a few days and then see the light, but right now she does have some genuine issues going on (that I’ve spent a lot of time being supportive about) and it might make her ragey if I tell her to stop texting about stubbing her toe or how bad someone at work smells.

        To the others who have said this might just be her idea of conversation – that’s a really interesting point. She tends to be a negative person who wants to text a lot and maybe this is just how she fills a boring time of her day or something. I’m more of an unplug-if-I-don’t-have-something-to-say kind of person, but it’s a definite possibility that she’d rather complain just for the sake of talking at all.

    • Not sure if someone said this already but what about the “I’m worried about you” tactic. “I’m worried about you. Lately every text message you send me is a complaint. Is everything okay?”

    • Anonymous :

      I would also be quite annoyed, but I don’t understand why you’re looking to “confront” her? :(

      She’s your friend and it appears to be just the way she is. It is clearly annoying/exhausting, but it’s not like she’s acting with intentional malice or being a bad friend. No one is perfect. There are far worse faults to have. Be kind to her, is my advice.

      Kind of like telling a depressed person to “look at all the good things! snap out of it!”, a “confrontation”-style approach is bound to fail spectacularly.

    • FWIW, I’m a person who complains a lot too, and honesty, it’s because sometimes I just don’t know how to make conversation without doing it. I know that sounds weird, but sometimes it’s true.

  13. Does anyone have any good workout music mix suggestions? My mix is getting stale. I’ve already added the new Lady Gaga and Katy Perry singles, but I need more songs that make me want to move my you-know-what. Thoughts?

  14. Best beginner ski resorts on the East Coast? :

    I’ve skied a ton out west, but we live in the Boston area and my boyfriend is a super beginner skier. Can anyone recommend the best beginner-friendly ski resort out here, preferably one with affordable lodging nearby? Extra plus for one with good on-mountain food and beer…thank you!

    • Miss Behaved :

      Mount Sunapee is close. My sister has been renting a place up there every winter for the past 5 years. She has 3 girls and they all learned to ski and snowboard there. There are hotels and condos in the area.

      And the Spruce Lounge has good food and beer. When I ski all morning, I deserve a glass of wine, or a hard cider or sometimes even a hot spiked drink and a burger.

      It’s also only an hour and a half from Boston.

      You can also take day trips out to Blue Hills or Nashoba Valley, but they are really little hills

    • Anonymous :

      Gunstock is my favorite. Its in New Hampshire, but close. I haven’t been there in 20 years, but I used to love it.

    • I’d take a beginner to somewhere big, like Mt. Snow or Killington in VT, or Sunday River in ME. All have a ton of beginner trails, a huge resort area (go to the Long Trail Brewery for lunch/ apres ski if you go to Killington and order the onion rings. Trust me on this! THere are also a ton of other eateries). Gunstock is one of my nearby favorites, but it isn’t really a beginner mountain. I taught DH to ski at Loon, but it can be really icy if there isn’t a lot of snow yet.

      Mt. Sunapee may be good- esp. if you want a daytrip. I haven’t been there in years because we prefer the larger mountains, but as long as there is good trail grooming I’d say you’re all set. If you’re a strong skier, you will be a little bored, but you may be bored no matter where you go if you plan to stay by DH’s side the whole time.

      You say that you’ve skied a ton out west–if you haven’t skied in New England yet, be prepared for a LOT of ice. Even in good conditions.

      • Blonde Lawyer :

        Don’t take a beginner to a big resort. For one, you are going to pay so much more for a ticket. Two, the “easy” trails are way harder on the big mountains then the little. There are so many cheap tiny mountains where a beginner can figure out the basics. For Mass, try Wachusett or Nashoba Valley. For NH, try itty bitty McIntosh (just a big hill in Manchester) or Pat’s Peak. Those are the easiest. Then try Ragged, Sunapee, Gunstock, Cranmore. Only after mastering those would I suggest Loon, Waterville Valley, Cannon, Attitash, Wild Cat. After that, THEN consider Sugarloaf, Sunday River, Killington, Mt. Snow. Can you guess my fave hobby?

        PS: super jealous your husband will learn to ski! Mine tried it once and said “never again.” Though I can’t complain too much because he is willing to come to the mountain and cook food and keep a fire going.

    • Best beginner ski resorts on the East Coast? :

      Thanks ladies! I actually have skied in New England with my (really bad) college ski team, but I’ve only been to one mountain (Attitash) not with ski team. I was never really able to get a good sense of which place would be good for beginners because we just raced on one short course all day and then basically had to leave. The conditions definitely are reallllly different from what I was used to (read: spoiled with) out west.

      I think Mount Sunapee sounds like a great choice, especially due to proximity to Boston. Sunday River would be great as well, I’m sure – I’ve heard good things and I actually do have a friend who lives in Portland who might want to join. Thanks a lot!!

    • I live in Southern New Hampshire – Mt. Snow is the resort I like best for beginners. Super wide trails, and it’s not as insanely crowded as a place like Okemo (which is where I really learned to ski).

      If by any chance you want a less fancy resort-like feel, a hidden gem is Magic Mountain. The food on the mountain is not great, but the tickets are cheap, drinks plentiful and there is truly no line, ever, to get on the lift. Chester Vt. has great food options.

    • Morse Mountain at Smuggler’s Notch in Vermont is a good beginner hill. Bolton Valley Resort is also nice for beginners.

  15. Update from 401k question poster :

    I posted a few days ago about how I wasn’t contributing to my company’s 401K and getting the small match because I’m hoping to change jobs/focusing on my Roth IRA (I’m in my mid-20s). It seemed like all the responders were in agreement that I should definitely open the 401K anyway. I just found out that the match is 50% on the first 4% contributed and the vesting period is SIX years. Six years strikes me as a little long – is there any point in contributing if I can’t get the match before I leave? Thanks ladies!

    • Is it a vesting cliff – you go from 0% to 100% vested over the six years? Or is it a graduated process, where you are x% vested after year 1, x+y% vested after year 2, etc? I think you are limited to up to 3 years if you use a cliff (0 to 100%), so you probably have a graduated program. So, you may still get something out of the company, even if it isn’t the full 50%, depending on how long you stick around.

      Any money YOU put in is 100% vested, so at a minimum you are still contributing to retirement, even if you never vest any part of the match.

    • Anonymous :

      Is it 6 years from the date of employment or the date it was put in – if you;ve already been there a number of years you may be closer than you think…

    • Despite the vesting period, still open the 401K. It’s all about compound interest. And you’re hoping to change jobs in the future – who knows when that will happen, depending on where you live and the market you are in. You can also only open your 401K during open enrollment, which is presumably now, and if you wait another year to do so, it’ll be that much longer before compound interest kicks in. You can always go in and open a Roth IRA and keep adding to it at any point during the tax year.

      • When you can sign up for your 401k plan really depends on the way the plan is set up, so it may not be limited to open enrollment (or it might). OP, be sure to read the docs you have on the plan, particularly the Summary Plan Description (I know, it’s really boring, but the info should be there).

    • Update from 401k question poster :

      I don’t know if it’s a cliff or graduated – the HR person I spoke to didn’t say. I’ll be reviewing the plan materials this weekend and then I’ll see. I’m about to enter my third year there, but I honestly WILL NOT be staying much longer than that. It’s not a possibility, even if I have to take a lower-paying job somewhere else. I believe the next open enrollment period is 01/01/14.

    • 401(k)s are not allowed to have 6 year “cliff vesting” so it must be a graduated schedule. Usually 20% after 2 years, 40% at 3, etc. all the way to 6. And generally, the clock should start ticking when you were first employed, not when you start contributing. Check your Summary Plan Description to be sure, but I agree with the other posters that its definitely worth it to contribute. Free money!

  16. Resume question:

    I am searching for a job currently and have a question about how to include information about my past jobs without making me seem to partisan.

    For sake of illustration, say I originally worked at an org funded by really lefty groups working on making energy sources cleaner. I have since moved to Exxon to work on some of their green energy projects. I now want to continue in this field working directly for energy companies doing this type of work for many reasons. I would assume that the people who will be getting my resume through a variety sources would likely not be generally supportive of the really lefty orgs I started my career with.

    Any advice on how to best handle my first work experiences? Should I condense them to take the focus off? Leave it as is because my experience there is substantively on point?

    For reference I’ve spent about half of my time in lefty orgs and half of my time in industry.


    • Need more specifics. How many years are we talking about in each industry?

      • 5 years in each. I did the same type of work in each – for the purpose of this it would be climate change type science – but funded by vastly different areas

    • If you haven’t already done this, I would list your job duties and achievements at the lefty orgs in the most neutral way possible, but you say they were earlier in your career, so they’ll be at the bottom of your resume anyway, and you have more recent industry experience. I would only condense them if they take up more than half of your experience section. Frankly, I can easily see how the Exxon people (in your example) would see benefits to having someone with your type of experience work with them, so I doubt it’s necessary to hide it too much. You should probably be prepared to answer questions in an interview about why you switched to industry, though.

  17. Wrinkles! :

    Hi, ladies! I’m 31 and think my crowfeet are getting more pronounced by the week. I’ve been using drug store and/or Clinique moisturizer 2x per day for a decade now, but clearly need more help. I’m enticed by La Mer because something so expensive must work, right? Does it? Any other recommendations?

    • long time lurker :

      La Mer clogged my pores and I don’t think it did anything for my wrinkles. Save your money.
      Look for something with retin A in it – I think Roc products from the drugstore have this.

    • I think a lot of people believe that expensive moisturizers are better than cheap ones. I don’t – I think the most important thing is sunscreen. If there’s anything that will damage your skin, it’s the sun. My grandmother used simple Oil of Olay her whole life (contains SPF) and she had almost no wrinkles when she died at 84.

      • I agree with this. Another good point is to start early with the sunscreen. If I could do it over I would start with the daily, year-round sunscreen at 14, not 25.

        • Ha, me too. I started at 28 so you’ve got a leg up. Da*mn my 15 year old self.

        • Seattle Freeze :

          Agreed – my mom used Oil of Olay, so that’s what I started using in high school – hardly any crow’s feet @ 40. As the apocryphal commencement address begins, always wear sunscreen (plus sunglasses, so you don’t squint).

          If you did want to add a retinol product, I’d make it a night cream or something you used once daily – don’t overdo! You might find that as your skin ages it gets drier & less tolerant of irritating products.

    • Need to Improve :

      prescription retinoids.

    • Retinol A is listed as a high hazard ingredient in the Environmental Working Group’s Skin Deep database, mostly due to reproductive toxicity concerns. I would find a different type of moisturizer and start being really diligent about wearing hats or taking umbrellas when you’re going to be in the sun.

  18. I just got a bonus, and I’ve decided to allocate $1500 of it on my first expensive purse. What should I get?

    • Wildkitten :

      Don’t buy a Birkin if you’re an intern. (Sorry – this question made me channel STFU Thissite).

    • Anonymous :

      Lv epi or bottega veneta.

      • yes – my main advice is not to splurge on anything with noticeable logos. My smartest handbag “investment” (ha) was a black calf Burberry dress clutch with Christmas money from college. The plaid is only on the inside. I carried it the night my husband proposed and it still looks chic and neat 8 years later. I remember because I was considering one of the check patterned totes instead, and decided in favor of the clutch :)

        Ferragamo may also be a good choice, depending on what you’re looking for and your personal style.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I’ve loved the look of so many Bottega Veneta bags over the years. Definitely the first place I’d look.

      • Hard to get one of the BV bags at that price point, though…

    • Ferragamo makes beautiful and timeless bags.

    • Downtown BK :

      If you’re willing to go up a little further, a Fendi 2jours? Sometimes you can find them on flash sale sites fro $1800-1900. I think they’re classic and there are many beautiful color options. Classic Prada tote could also work well, though they are really popular… Definitely agree on focusing on bags with no super obvious logos (though I don’t think a nameplate is a big deal).

  19. I’ve been down lately and while sometimes I can snap out of it, there are times when I just can’t. It is hard for me to articulate it to anyone (plus I always feel like I need to put up a happy front, plys who really cares?) so I just keep it inside, but typing it out right now helped a bit. Sorry for the downer!

    • Moonstone :

      I know what you mean about the happy front. I had to be reminded that people who care about you genuinely want to know how you are. Let them offer support.

    • +1. You’ve got people who got your back, sometimes you just have to sort of give them a tiny heads up when you need it.

    • I feel the same way. It sounds kind of hokey, but I am slowly working on sharing more of how I’m actually doing with a couple people I really do believe care about me, and that helps a bit.

  20. Does anyone have any feedback on Rockport casual shoes?

    I’m looking for some quality walking shoes and am wondering about quality, comfort, sizing, etc.


    • Seattleite :

      Thumbs up. I had a pair of chunky suede slip-ons that was my daily ‘winter’ pair when I was a SAHM. Around here, ‘winter’ is 8 months. I wore them for, I dunno, six years? Seven? Finally had to get rid of them because the suede had stretched out. RIP, favorite shoes ever.

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