This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Happy Monday! I love this feminine take on a very Sherlock Holmes-ian blazer — particularly the obi belt. This kind of thing is a natural “with jeans and slides,” as the editors of Net-a-Porter recommend, but for work it's very easy with a black or navy pencil skirt or skinny pair of trousers. It's (gulp) $5,495, which may be one of the most expensive pieces we've ever featured (I'll have to check… hmmn). Belted Plaid Wool Blazer It's still on the expensive side, but this blazer with origami-like, wrapped elements has a similar vibe and is around $255. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
Traveling to Worcester, MA in a couple of weeks for a hearing and have never been to Boston or MA at all. Should I stay in Boston and cab it out or stay in Worcester? And is cabbing it the way to go? TIA!!!
Anonymous
Worcester and Boston aren’t close at all. It’s 50 miles! No, that’s not a cab back and forth distance. You should probably plan to rent a car to drive from the airport and stay in Worcester.
Diana Barry
No, Worcester is an hour from Boston without traffic – you will want to go there and stay there if you need to overnight. Are you flying into Boston? I would rent a car or take the train to Worcester, a cab is going to be ultra expensive.
Diana Barry
Or a bus – I think the buses are more often than trains.
Minnie Beebe
Agreed. An hour drive if you’re lucky, more like 2 with traffic. Rent a car! Also, look into flying to Hartford or Providence. They’re not much further than Logan (Providence might actually be closer) and both are much easier airports to get in/out of than Logan.
Worcester used to be a dump. It’s much nicer now. Stay there, and take a train into Boston if you have time on the weekend for sightseeing.
Anon
Definitely stay in Worcester, definitely take the train from Boston.
Anonymous
Worcester is almost two hours from Boston in traffic. That’s asking if you should stay in New York for a hearing in Philadelphia. They are separate cities and not all that close. You can fly to Worcester, fwiw, although depending on where you’re coming from it may be easier to fly to Boston and take the train. But there’s no way you can stay in Boston.
Ellen
Kat, over $5495 for a blazer is to much! Even for the manageing partner. He said NO! He also said no to the cheaper $255 alternative. He said for me to be more fruegel, and come to him ONLEY on Friday’s! FOOEY!
As for the OP, I am not sure about this. Rosa went to Junior College near Boston, and we always drove b/c Dad did NOT want to pay for all of us flying up there from LI, if we could all pile into his car. Back then he had a big Cadilac with 4 doors and air condition. Rosa said it was his Yom Kipper Clipper!
My new associate brought her boyfreind in to work today to look the place over. He works for Goldman Sacks, and he may know someone for me! I hope so b/c it’s been VERY slim pickings in NYC lately. I want to go to the next Matzo Ball, but that is NOT for a while. Where are all the eligible men? I will now expand my horizon and accept dates from all men under 60! I do not care if they are old as long as they want to procreate IMMEDIATELEY! YAY!!!!
Anonymous
It is probably closer to fly into Providence and drive to Worcester. Providence is 45 min. away.
Linda from HR
Worcester is easily an hour drive from Boston without traffic, it’s best to stay in Worcester if that’s where you need to be. If you’re flying into Boston there’s a commuter rail train you can take, you’ll just need to take the silver line to South Station. Or you can rent a car.
RGH
You’ll want a car in Worcester. If you take a train you’ll have to constantly Uber or cab around. It’s not really what I’d call a walkable city. Agree Providence and Hartford are smaller airports and easy to get to Worcester, but if you are adding on some Boston tourism you can do that before or after your trip and fly into Logan. And have some food at Armsby Abbey while in Worcester!
RGH
You will need a car in Worcester unless it’s a 1 night in/out. It’s not a walkable city.
Linda from HR
Right, good point. I meant rent a car to get there, implying one could take cabs depending on where they’ll be in the city, but renting a car there might be a good idea regardless of how OP gets to the city.
Anonymous
Thanks everyone for the info!! Flying into PVD and renting a car. I appreciate the insight from those who live there!! Hopefully I have another case that will take me to Boston sometime soon because it is on my list!!
Anonymous
if you are there for a couple weeks you can take the commuter rail from Worcester into Boston on the weekends for a day trip! that way you don’t need to deal with traffic and it takes you right to south station and you can cab/ walk from there
Shopping challenge
I’m looking for a white or off-white moto jacket or tweed jacket to wear during the summer as a break from traditional blazers with notched lapels. I need a 16, 18, 14W or 16W and and looking to spend around $200 or less. Any thoughts?
anne-on
Would an XL or a XXL at Old Navy fit you? This runs a bit large IMHO, and it looks really really nice in person. I keep getting compliments and people are shocked both that it isn’t suede and that it is from Old Navy.
https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?vid=1&pid=776181102&searchText=moto+jacket
Anonymous
Definitely runs large, that’s my only complaint with this jacket!
Anon
How about the XL in this one:
https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/iverson-tweed-moto-jacket?color=011&countryCode=US&inventoryCountry=US&size=XL
Anonymous
Zara! They always have cute tweedy jackets and they have several white ones currently
Anon
Has anyone ever moved to Europe from the U.S. for the medium-to-long term? My husband and I are considering this because we feel more aligned politically and socially with western Europe than we do here. We would most likely aim for Germany because I have basic proficiency in German and it seems like the job opportunities might be strongest there (especially for husband, who is in tech). I know of at least two people at my last job who did this while working remotely for our U.S.-based company, but unfortunately, I didn’t know them personally and can’t contact them to ask questions. Does anyone have any insight for how one might go about this?
Anonymous
My parents did. My father got transferred to an overseas office. That seems to be the easiest route.
Anonny
You should be prepared to be conservative. Even the most liberal American is pretty conservative by European standards. Also be prepared for people to be not impressed by your state school, there are many European schools that are best in the world, so going somewhere that’s best in the Midwest means nothing. Figure out of you want to remain an American citizen and the tax implications. Other than that enjoy your new vacation time and socialized medicine (it’s really awesome!)
Anonymous
? Why do you think she’s midwestern and went to a state school?
Anonny
I was just using that as an example I’ve encountered
Anonymous
I think Anonny was speaking from her own experience, not assuming something about the OP.
Aunt Jamesina
This is a really weird and dismissive comment, and I used to live in France AND I attended a state school AND I’m midwestern. Somehow my corn pone, Midwestern, liberal self managed just fine culturally and I found that I was very politically aligned with many French people. Jeesus. We aren’t all from cultural backwaters (hello from Chicago!).
anon
I took it to be a comment about the elitism of europeans, not a stereotype about midwesterners.
*University of Texas grad who has lived in Paris for 2+ years, a school by which the French are not impressed
Anonymous
Echoing this.
Went to a major California university, double major, and it seemed to be worth nothing.
That said, in Europe, I found your family history makes a much bigger difference than it does in the US, which values the rags to riches mythology.
Aunt Jamesina
… and “figure out if you want to remain an American citizen” is REALLY jumping the gun. OP would likely have to get a work visa sponsored, it would be a long time before citizenship would even be a question. Anonny, are you an American who has lived in Europe? Because your comments seem a bit off from my experience and the experiences of my European SO and other friends and family.
Anonny
My husband is the American in this case. He opted to change citizenships. My frame of reference is about 9 years of him navigating the waters being an expat
Lana Del Raygun
My family did this on an academic grant/sabbatical year. I’m curious why you think you’re politically aligned with western Europeans? In my experience Europeans have lots of opinions about American politics that are, like, 2% based on reality, tops, so be prepared for a tidal wave of eurosplaining if you try to talk to them about politics
Anon
Because there are no political parties that represent our interests here in the U.S. and because we want to live somewhere that prioritizes social welfare and work/family balance. I studied abroad in a program focused on EU politics and feel like I got strong glimpses of systems and cultural values that could (potentially) be a better fit. I’m under no illusions that moving and adjusting would be a piece of cake, though.
I’ve actually had the best discussions with my European friends when it comes to politics! Discussions with Americans either descend into verbal brawls or “ok everyone, let’s not talk politics.”
Aunt Jamesina
Eh, brawls definitely happen amongst any compatriots, although the US is particularly charged now (though the rest of the world seems to be, too). I lived in France for a few years and have many French friends, and BELIEVE ME, things can get quite heated at the dinner table.
Be prepared for it to be tricky to find a job that is willing to sponsor you or your SO for a work visa, unless one of you have some covetable skills or are able to transfer to the European office of a US-based employer. And be prepared for it to feel lonely and isolating at times, and for it to be hardly anything like your study abroad experience. Everyday life can become mundane no matter where you are.
London Expat
My first job out of college was in London with a global investment bank in corp fin. The second half of my second job was as a legal assistant in the London office of a US law firm. In the first instance, I was a local hire, which meant I was employed by a UK entity, and paid in pounds. There was no opportunity for any US tax-advantaged retirement savings (401(k)) because a UK employer did not offer that. We got limited assistance in dealing with US taxes from abroad (and it’s very time consuming and expensive to find an accountant that is good with cross-border personal taxes). The second time, I was a US employee who was technically seconded to the London office for “training,” which meant that I was on US payroll and was paid in dollars (but I lived my life in pounds sterling). It was very frustrating due to extreme exchange rate fluctuations during that time–I was losing purchasing power every day through no fault of my own. During the year that I was there, I lost almost 30% of my purchasing power (but thankfully was adjusted after all the other expats whined and bitched). Imagine taking an involuntary pay cut of 30%!
All that said, it was an amazing experience, both times. I have friends for life from both experiences, traveled all over Europe on weekends and took good long 4+ week vacations per year (like Euros do!). I learned a lot about what it means to be a global citizen, and have a much more cosmopolitan outlook on business and the world than I ever could have by say, staying home and just trying to keep up with world events. London is my
“adopted” second city, and I feel very at home there.
You have to be careful as an expat not to come home to the US for too much time and to meet certain tests in order to claim either a tax credit or deduction on your US taxes so that you don’t pay double-tax (this is where the pricy accountant comes in. Or you can spend hours reading tax instruction booklets, like I did!). This means you have to understand that you may not be able to come home for weddings, etc. You have to commit to being an expat.
There’s all sorts of other things to consider–making friends is harder and easier at the same time–there will be other expats, but you want to avoid hanging out with just people from the US–you have to break out of your comfort zone in that respect. You lost a ton of pop culture knowledge (but gain all sorts of useless Eurotrivia). It’s hard to find the right time to call home to keep in touch due to time changes, etc., so some of your US friendships wane a bit (but your friends may come visit too!).
There’s a WSJ Expat column that’s been highlighting different expats and their experiences all over the world for years and years. Well worth looking into.
Anon
Thanks for this! Will have to check out the WSJ column.
Cb
I live in the UK – moved here at 26 for graduate school, met my husband, had a baby. I’d be careful about idealising European political systems – there is a general move to the right. Your European friends aren’t likely to be representative of broader social tendencies, The UK has UKIP, Germany AFD, France the front nationale. You wouldn’t have voting rights and as an immigrant, your access to those great social services might be very limited (ie, I have a job and pay into the system but can’t vote and have to recourse to public funds beyond mat leave). From what I’ve heard from friends of Germany, integrating in Berlin is fine as there is such a large expat community but German society can be quite reserved,
I love living where I do but I went into it with my eyes wide open,
Edna Mazur
Do you have a lot of money you plan to invest? Do you have an employer who is willing to sponsor your visa? Does one of you have EU citizenship? A good German immigration attorney would be able to advise what your options are. Or check out the US Chamber of Commerce in Germany. They can sometimes be pretty good sources.
KKRvf
We did a two year German stint from Canada (just came back). I also did my undergrad in EU policies at a German uni 20 years ago. I am very happy to PM, I loved it and would go back tomorrow.
Anon
Would love to hear more! sprc2500 at gmail.
EuroMover
We did. From the SF area to Berlin.
EuroMover
I was the “trailing spouse”.. and over the last 9-ish months, we worked through the move, getting childcare (free, but so so so painful to get a spot) and then a job search for me.
It was/is hard, but in some ways, for the first time ever, we have a really solid support system.
Expats are super helpful- American or otherwise and Germans are pretty sweet too.
Salaries are lower, and ageism is kinda real (if you are under 30 and were making 6 figures in the US, expect to take a pay cut)
A lot of workplaces, especially in Tech are English-official, so that makes things easier from a work-perspective.
Other notes:
Pros:
Travel. We’ve been able to visit 5-6 countries in the time we’ve lived here. (and still aren’t broke)
COL- lower than SF area. Likely comparable to H/MCOL cities in the US
Life: People, especially expats are helpful and welcoming
Socialized medical care
Cons:
Salaries. We’ve been fortunate to have minimal pay cuts, but that is super rare
Childcare: 1. Difficult to get spots, plus once you factor in additional private babysitting to supplement German childcare (ends at ~4pm), it isnt that much cheaper. If you get an international school spot- also not that much cheaper based on the sliding scale
Getting a doctor is like auditioning for cirque du Soleil
Happy to answer any more questions you have either here or via PM
Anon
I have problems with my feet getting fatigued rather quickly when I walk long distances. I just went on vacation and found that the soles of my feet would be aching before everyone else in the group, even though I’m in no better or worse shape than they are and even though I was trying Superfeet insoles. My legs/rest of body were 100% fine, but my feet needed a rest. I have wide feet and high arches, but nothing else is notable about them. Is this a problem I’m doomed to live with forever or are there any shoes/insoles out there that can actually help?
Anonymous
Are you overweight? I am and this is where I notice it.
Anon
I’m about 15 pounds overweight. I was trying to recall if they tired as quickly when I weighed 15-20 pounds less, but I don’t think it made a difference.
Parfait
I’ve lost 50 pounds over the last year and my feet ache so much less now!
Anonymous
I’m not really I’m pressed by Superfeet. I like Birkenstocks or I add Vionic insoles for more serious arch support. It could also be your type of shoe, adding an insole may not do so much if you’re wearing ballet flats and everyone else is wearing sneakers.
Anon
I was wearing New Balance sneakers 90% of the time and hiking boots the other 10%, but you’re right that ballet flats are basically a no-go for me for any long distances. I do seem to do a bit better with Birkenstocks when I’m home, but it was too cold to wear them for this trip.
Anonymous
These inserts are great for sneakers and hiking boots: https://www.zappos.com/p/vionic-oh-active-orthotic-no-color/product/7881712/color/127769 . I have a pair of New Balance sneakers with their own brand of arch inserts, but they’re not as supportive.
Baconpancakes
Vionic insoles in literally every single pair of shoes I own (barring sandals). Lifesaver for PT and aching feet.
Anonymous
Autocorrect strikes again. Should be impressed… :)
Anonymous
Try getting custom orthotics.
mascot
My husband has problem feet – his are flat though. For walking longer distances, he tends to wear athletic shoes whenever possible because those give him better support. He also changes his shoes between day and evening activities to give his feet a break. Have you tried soaking your feet in cold water or lying with them elevated up against the wall after you’ve been on them for a while? Bio-freeze or other topical pain rubs can help.
Elegant Giraffe
Go to a store that only sells tennis shoes (like a New Balance location). They’ll fit you, you’ll try on a bunch of different pairs, they have many insoles you can choose from, etc. And then wear those shoes for long walking distances.
Constant Reader
Co-sign going to an athletic shoe store –I was having similar issues with foot pain (aging, mostly) and I went in to my local and they did this 30 sec. 3-D foot scan that gave me a LOT more data (I knew I had wide feet, but I don’t actually have flat feet and I have a high instep — my overpronation was masking that for me). My sales woman then did what they normally do (look at the wear pattern on my shoes, look at my gait), brought out some various shoes and various superfeet insoles, and put me in a pair of shoes + insoles that have really helped. This is the technology that they used (and yes, when I looked at my scan, they looked exactly like my (disembodied) feet. link to follow
Constant Reader
https://www.fleetfeetsports.com/catalogs/fit-id
Coalea
I did this as well and found it to be very helpful. After my scan, the sales person helped me find good sneakers and inserts (Superfeet). I later bought a second pair of the inserts to use with dress shoes for when I’m traveling for work and have to do a lot of walking. A store like the Walking Company might also be helpful. (I have extremely high arches and high insteps, FWIW.)
Idea
It might be both. I.e. something you are doomed to live with forever (I also cannot change my wide feet and high arches, but I did change my bunions!) AND ALSO something you can get help with — go right now to a recommended PODIATRIST in your area and tell the doctor your problem and s/he can help you get custom orthotics (this is probably best) or other treatment. The other comments here are also good (i.e. go to a special running and walking shoe store that will examine your gait) but seriously, get professional help. Sorry it’s not easier than that! Good luck.
Anonymous
how did you change your bunions? surgery?
Anonymous
I’m not sure whether you mean the muscles in your feet are fatigued, or the soles of your feet are sore. For fatigued foot muscles, I got “barefoot” style sandals with a very flexible sole and did some trail walking so I could build some foot muscle. This took care of some pain I was having. When I’m trying to work out the rest of my body and not my feet, however, I do what others have advised and use sneakers with orthotics.
If the surface of the soles of your feet is sore, I think that’s a different issue.
Housecounsel
This jacket is so gorgeous, but I like the look with jeans, not for work. Why am I even discussing this? Who can afford it? I’m not saying Kat shouldn’t feature it. It’s lovely eye candy.
Anonymous
I would wear this blazer with anything. Like with pajamas to bed. I love it so much. I would definitely wear it to work.
CountC
+1
Baconpancakes
I would wear this to play Whodunnit in a Holosuite program with Data. Accessorize with a pipe and a magnifying glass on a chain, big Gibson girl hair, high buttoned boots over slim jeans. I guess I would also wear this to one of those Escape Room games, since Data’s schedule is so busy these days.
Ms B
Winning comment for the day!
Linda from HR
This is probably how I would have wanted to dress when we were expected to wear jeans on Fridays (they were technically optional, but if you wore regular work clothes you weren’t “being a team player”) at my first job. Now, I would love a wool blazer like this just for weekends in the fall, but not summer, it’s much to hot to wear something like that now.
lsw
This is so gorgeous and I want it. Also would meet up with BP in the holosuite with this one. And I mean that as a high compliment.
Anon
There’s a new book about why kids misbehave (NPR, not linking to avoid mod) that sounds really interesting. It’s The Good News About Bad Behavior – anyone read it? Apparently it claims that the way kids are allowed to play, their access to technology, and the lack of time they spend with ownership of chores/helping the family have all contributed.
Anonymous
But kids have been misbehaving since the dawn of time?
Anonymous
And spoiled kids have been misbehaving more since the dawn of time as well.
Anonymous
Yes, but usually they had a sib to reign them in and b/c of that also learned sharing. And a sib can easily also put you in your place if you are out of line, being a jerk, etc. It was hard for gratification to be instant.
We went through a hard patch this weekend with one kid sidelined with a stomach bug and they were both on screen time benders / lonely / needing a friend. I traded off w/ DH to just get the well one of of the house b/c you can totally tell in her behavior (so the gains of non-screen physical exercise are so quickly outdone).
TL;DR: I would sent them to an Amish summer camp to detox and unplug (hopefully forever except for homework) if one exists.
Anonymous
Don’t a lot of sporty/outdoorsy summer camps exist?
Anonymous
True! And there have been “Kids these days are worse than ever” stories since the beginning of time, too!
Wow
I read the article about it, the theory make sense to me. Kids definitely spend way too much time on video games/screens when they should be running around outside. Unfortunately with two working parents it’s very hard to give kids that time outside after school, and so many schools these days have limited recess. The chores is an interesting notion, and worth me thinking about it. My kids are 3 and 5 and haven’t started chores yet but it’s been on my mind to have them start this year.
mascot
I read the article and think that there is some truth to parts of it. We see a correlation between worse behavior and increased levels of screen time when my kid is watching lots of tv. Giving some ownership over chores and family tasks helps make our household run smoother and teaches responsibility so we try to encourage that. Our kid is elementary aged so they can actually be helpful. I’m not sure I agree with the idea that if kids just roamed the neighborhood and had all the free play in the world that this would magically solve behavior problems. We both work so we need some sort of supervised childcare and my kid isn’t quite ready to roam the neighborhood And sometimes, you have to intervene in kid squabbles and play for safety reasons and to help them mediate a resolution.
Anonymous
One of my sister’s kids are unusually well-behaved. This came up once, and she explained that she’s quietly catering to their needs in a lot of ways (especially food and rest), and tweaking things like screen access and junk food based on its effect. It’s her view that her kids are completely normal, but that when she puts a lot of effort into making sure they aren’t hungry/tired/buzzed/spending too much time lying around, this increases their capacity to behave. (I imagine she has evidence of this from times when she didn’t put in this effort!)
I had never thought about “bad behavior”/acting out as a function of kids’ ability to keep it together vs. something more like parenting/character development/upbringing, but it makes sense to me now (and I feel less concerned about kids who act out now).
anon
Just tossing it out that all of these things have a tremendous impact on how I feel and how I’d like to behave– and the amount of impulse control/good decision making I can exercise–as an adult, so it makes total sense wrt kids, who have substantially less ability to regulate their emotions and control their behavior than adults.
Marilla
I 100% believe that kids (especially little kids) can’t be expected to keep it together when they’re tired or hungry or otherwise not feeling great. If grown-ups get “hangry” after work – so do toddlers sometimes. I totally prioritize a regular routine for our family – bedtime, snacks, meals on time – and I find it has a big impact on how smoothly our days run with our two year old. She is still two and still tantrums, but overall she’s a pretty fun and easy kid. It also helps kids when they know roughly what to expect for the day Plus her being on a regular schedule means I get to be on a regular schedule too and even if she goes to bed later than normal, by 8 PM I’m free to wind down on my own, deal with house chores, or (ideally) spend some time with my husband.
I also find she loves helping and being independent and I’m hoping to increase both of those as she gets older (she can help carry things to the table, put away her toys if we make it a together game/song, and partially dress herself, hoping soon we’ll get to more independence and more helpfulness).
Anonymous
I agree with this. (I have no kids but…) When I’m in my routine and things are somewhat predictable, and I’m exercising and eating right and getting to socialize and not just flop on the couch watch TV when I get home at 11:30 at night from a long day at the office where I’ve eaten crap food for dinner (or no dinner because there was just too much to do), I’m a much more pleasant person to be around/my attitude is much better.
And, like anon at 11:16 generally implied, because I’m an adult, I can better control my poor attitude and it manifests itself as maybe being cranky and snippy towards co workers, and not throwing a temper tantrum.
Marilla
In mod but I totally agree with your sister.
Anonymous
The funny/sad thing about this, is that the same techniques help elderly patients with progressive dementia….
Anonymous
I’m spry and in the peak of life and these techniques help me, too! Sometimes I’m in a nasty mood or overreacting to something, and my SO just tells me to eat and it works like 80% of the time.
Sleep
This completely. We have an extremely well behaved child and I attribute at least 50% of this to the fact that he gets enough sleep – most of the 4 year olds we know don’t nap anymore, because according to their parents they refuse. If we gave our son a choice he would refuse too! But we put him down and he passes out. Add to that an early and regular bedtime, and you have a happy well-rested child that isn’t constantly whining and losing it. On the random occasion when he is off, it’s because he’s hungry or watched too much tv recently.
Walkies
I feel like the more I treat my kids like Irish Setters (exercise, followed by more exercise, followed by outdoor time, followed by NO SCREEN TIME), the better they are. I have learned so much as a parent from Ceasar Milan.
KKRvF
This is exactly our approach, too. When the whinging starts, my husband opens the door and says, “OUT. Time for a March. He runs them like privates or puts them to work.
Anonymous
Love this
Anonymous
I will add: being tired (but not so tired they fall apart) as older kids has been good. I had a crim law professor who brought a gentlemen’s farmette so that his kids always had lots of outdoor chores, esp. once they got a horse. Idle hands, it seems, are the devil’s workshop, esp. when they have an xbox.
Anonymous
I need to treat myself like an Irish Setter.
anon
Interesting. I’ve read a few articles linking too much screen time with ADHD and they say it’s because kids get rewarded much quicker with games or shows than in real life so they are bored and act out in real life.
Anonymous
I think that there is a link but I’m not sure if it is causal or ADHD kids are more attracted to it. [FWIW, I have kids with both ADHD and ADD (no H), and it’s a problem for both. Maybe it’s generational?] But I don’t know a parent that doesn’t complain about it, including many of my pediatrician friends.
Jen
Mine are still young (2, 4 & 6) but I already see this and agree with it in their peer groups. My kids don’t get a lot of screen time. They help out with chores a lot. They are sent outside to “run it off” when they start acting up.
One striking example is that when we go out to eat, nobody in our family touches any kind of device. The kids color, play guessing games, and if there is crappy behavior, we leave. We also don’t go if we think there is potential bad behavior.
They are often complimented by strangers as unusually attentive and well behaved. I think they are just more “present” and can amuse themselves more than the average kids these days.
Their peers have screens at restaurants, in their cars, and watch a lot of TV. My kids aren’t banned from TV, but 2/3 don’t even really like it and the one that does is easily re-directed to non screen entertainment.
Jen
Oh, and we don’t skimp on sleep. Our kids often skip activities or parties because of timing, but they get what they need for sleep-and are monsters when they don’t. They’re all in bed by 7:30.
ananananon
We are thinking about a trip to Boulder in a few weeks. Will it be more fun or less fun since the college kids will be gone? Any tips for things to do?
Anonymous
And also, tips for where to stay!
Coach Laura
Stay at the Hotel Boulderado. Ask for a room in the historical side and/or one with a view of the Flatiron. Lovely sunrise (or maybe sunset).
Anon
No tips for where to stay, but my husband and I enjoyed visiting the Spot bouldering gym, getting a light lunch at Alpine Modern (somewhat close to the Flatirons), hiking to the first or second Flatiron (can’t remember which now), and browsing the shops on Pearl Street. We spent the rest of the time in RMNP, but definitely want to go back to Boulder and get to know it better.
Elegant Giraffe
+1 to Flatirons and Pearl Street – lots of fun street artists and neat shopping
Anonymous
My family and I went to Boulder a couple of years ago and I remember enjoying the hike at the Flatirons and strolling at the famous Pearl Street. Food was good at West End Tavern.
Anon
I love Boulder in the summer! You’re right that almost all of the students will be gone but there will still be plenty of tourists around so it doesn’t feel sleepy at all. For hiking, definitely go up to Chautauqua. There are tons of trails there for all different hiking levels and its only a couple of miles from downtown Boulder. You can go to the ranger station there and ask for trail recommendations. I think Chautauqua also has outdoor concerts in the summer that you could do a quick search for. Pearl Street is fun to wander down in the summer. There is also a walking trail that runs very close to downtown that you could take a walk on. Boulder has lots of tourists in the summer so, with a little research, I imagine you won’t have a hard time finding things to do.
navy help
I bought a navy sheath dress (the Thursday pick for last week). What color blazer should I wear with it if trying to look nice (interacting with higher ups) but not too suity? I looked at the matching navy one, but it seems a little boring.
And I’m not sure on the shoes, either…
I never wear navy because I am not good at coordinating so would appreciate some advice.
Anonymous
Coral, Kelly green, White, cream, gray, yellow.
Housecounsel
Navy and white look really fresh.
pugsnbourbon
White/off white, blush, or light gray. I think light blue looks nice with navy, too.
Anonymous
+1
It depends a little bit on your coloring preferences, but white, blush or light gray are my simple favorites and in a more formal tone with just the right shade of navy – navy and black. And I love wearing other shades of blues with navy. Can look very good. Even teal…
PolyD
Pewter shoes!
I love navy, it goes with so much and is less harsh than black. Although I do not love navy shoes, hence the recommendation for pewter.
Gray, most greens, some yellows, some oranges. I like neon/lime green with navy (although perhaps not in blazer form), because I feel that the navy sobers down the neon.
anon.
I really like blush with navy, personally. Also gray as others have mentioned!
Never too many shoes...
Grey or snake or matte metallic shoes all look great with navy.
Anonymous
Love a yellow blazer pulled together with a yellow and navy scarf. Navy shoes.
Anonymous
Random vent here – I’ve run a small biz for a few years now and we keep having people recommend individuals for support staff. It’s always people with no actual training or related experience and it’s just really annoying. Please don’t do this to your friends who run small biz. Also do not pass on a small biz owner’s personal cell to someone looking for a job without their permission. If you know a bright young person with no office experience or training and think they should work at a law office, hire them yourself.
Anonymous
You sound super frustrated — you must have had a bad run of people doing this to you recently? Not a good start to the week! Sorry this is happening to you and taking up your time.
(But, perhaps … don’t put the frustration on us, as if we are the ones doing it and must be corrected.)
Anon
I’m kind of surprised by your post because you don’t really need a lot of training or experience for entry level legal work. It doesn’t take much experience to answer phones, make copies, make envelopes, do paper and electronic filing (into the internal files, not with the court), calendar deadlines etc. There is so much grunt work in law firms that it is the perfect entry level job. Maybe I’m just biased because that’s where I got my start.
My small firm has hired recent college grads and they were quick learners and are doing great now. I guess we follow your advice of “hire them yourself.”
The other issue to keep in mind is the big pool of qualified support staff is quickly dwindling due to equality in the work force. Those amazing assistants and paralegals of years passed are now going to law school to be attorneys. You can get a great one for a few years now but they either want to move on to bigger and better things, because they can, or they want to be a SAHM or they are really older and want to retire. The career assistant is becoming a thing of the past.
Anon
I’ll add, the solution to this, in my book, is law as an industry has to start respecting the assistant job as a real career and pay for it accordingly.
Anonymous
+10000000
I work at a firm that has high attorney turnover for a lot of reasons, but the staff have been there for 20+ years. Having a legal assistant who knows what she’s doing in, and in a lot of situations knows more than I do, is amazing. Such an asset. Every firm should do this (minus the high attorney turnover thing).
Linda from HR
I work in talent acquisition, and while we want to encourage employee referrals because they’re a good way to fill open jobs without bringing in an agency (even if we do pay referral bonuses, it’s still less than agency fees), but then people will send us random job seekers who aren’t really a fit for any of our openings, and that can be frustrating. You need to tell people that your openings, for the most part, require a particular background or set of skills, and you’d appreciate it if people would only refer people for specific openings. But maybe there is a way for people to drop off resumes of the job-seekers in their lives whom they know aren’t qualified for anything specific, and then you can thumb through them if/when something comes up that doesn’t require a specific background or skillset.
I do hear you on people giving out your contact information, that’s really not cool.
Sick
I feel like I’m constantly sick. I have a sinus infection (or allergies? or sinusitus? or something else) almost all the time. When I go to the doctor, they tell me to take Claritin/Allegra/Zyrtec and wait for it to pass. I don’t mind that, but it’s reached a point where I’m sick more often than I’m not. It’s starting to affect my daily life– I can’t leave my desk without a tissue, I can’t go more than ten minutes without blowing my nose, I feel like my speaking voice sounds like a snotty little kid, I had to quit my church choir because I’m usually too stopped up to sing. I keep a box of tissues in my car because I can’t drive to work without needing at least a few tissues. I have to step out of meetings regularly to go to the bathroom and try to spit out the drainage that’s clogging my throat.
What can I do about this? I’ve been to the doctor three times in the past year, and each doctor (three different ones) always just tells me to take some over the counter allergy medicine and wait it out. I am so tired of always feeling like this– there has to be a better solution, right?
Anonymous
Go back to the SAME doctor and say “It’s not working. What now?”
Mpls
Have you been taking the allergy meds or not? Because you are definitely describing something that could be allergies, which is why your doctor keeps recommending allergy meds. Yes, they are awful and constant – but are not a sinus infection and can’t be addressed by antibiotics.
There are 2 strategies with allergy meds – taking one daily to get a baseline amount in your system (I do this with Claritin), and then having the meds you take to address symptoms (I use Flonase or Sudafed for this). These address the constantly runny nose and itchy eyes. So make sure you are taking claritin/allerga/whatever daily.
I’m guessing it’s probably seasonal allergies, but consider getting tested there. And do the non-med hygine stuff – close your windows, change your furnace air filter, change your pillowcases frequently, try showering/washing face before going to bed, etc.
Idea
Have you been to the ENT specialist?
Anon
Do you feel sick or are you just congested? If not, you’re not sick, you have allergies or nonallergic rhinitis. Maybe a sinus infection, but if you don’t feel at least a little run down and have some pain and pressure, that’s unlikely. Do allergy meds help? If yes, go to an allergist and get a better idea of what you’re allergic to and treat it. Based on the fact that you don’t seem to have had a lot of success with that, it’s possible you may have nonallergic rhinitis, in which case you may be sort of screwed. There are a few meds that help a little and you should see an ENT to make sure you don’t have something sinus related or something else that could be fixed.
Anon
A few other reasons I think you might not have allergies: you don’t mention seasonality and you don’t mention itchy eyes. It’s definitely possible you do have allergies and you should get tested, but you should escalate this past just antihistamines. Flonase is probably worth a shot, as is atrovent nasal spray. As other posters have said, avoid scented products and change your air filters and see if that helps.
Anonymous
Be your own advocate. A fierce one. Tell them – assertively – that you have done X, Y and Z, and none of it works and you would like a true resolution.
Also, this came out last month: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2018/05/08/she-was-told-her-perpetually-runny-nose-was-from-allergies-it-was-a-brain-fluid-leak/?utm_term=.14c941f38f5e
Baconpancakes
I had what you have. I’ve been taking Zyrtec or Allegra religiously every spring for 10 years. Finally accepting that I needed to get over my putting-things-in-my-nose phobia and using Flonase has literally changed my life. I am a Flonase evangelist. Try it. Absolutely worth it.
The last time I had a sinus infection that wouldn’t go away and was so bad I got bronchitus from the constant dripping, and a round of antibiotics didn’t work, they put me on a steroid inhaler and a regular inhaler for the bronchitus, Flonase and NeilMed nasal wash for the sinuses, as Netipot didn’t work for me. They had sent me to the ENT, and I was told there was nothing physically abnormal about my sinuses, which I had thought might be a cause.
I also know that when I don’t get enough sleep, I get sick. Get enough sleep. Drink water. Use Flonase (or the Kirkland equivalent). If that still doesn’t work, go to the ENT.
LAnon
+1 to all of this.
Netipot plus Flonase has been an absolute savior for me. Typical allergy medicine was the worst for me – it didn’t seem to relieve the symptoms but made me a bit edgy/fidgety (and I’m kind of a high strung person anyway). It actually got to the point where I occasionally wondered if people thought I was doing drugs because I was constantly sniffly and trying to discreetly rub my itchy nose – which just made me look tweaky. No bad side effects from the Flonase (other than a mildly bad post-nasal taste right after using it) and it has totally solved the allergy issues.
MJ
You need to go to a pulmonologist, allergist or ENT, not just a regular doctor for this. Explain the persistence of your symptoms. Perhaps get allergy testing. Something in your immediate environment has been setting you off (dust, mold, pollen, etc.). You need to figure out what your triggers are and remove them, so your body can stop being inflamed all the time. You may need to get air filters or remove carpeting from your house, for instance.
Do not see a generalist GP for this–see a specialist. It will take time to figure this out.
Godzilla
Also, have you tried taking the allergy pill every.single.day for weeks/months? Allergy medications are not like painkillers, you have to take them all the time to feel the maximum effect.
Anonymous
+ a million. You need to take meds like claritin/allegra BEFORE you have symptoms, not after.
Anonymous
Have you been to an allergist? As an adult I started developing allergies to various types of essential oils and have to use unscented shampoos, soaps, laundry detergent, etc to avoid being a mess like that.
Anonymous
Sounds like it’s time for a referral to an ENT!
Mrs. Jones
I use a nasal spray (fluticasone propitionate) every morning and take a zyrtec every night, year-round, on my doctor’s recommendation. I also use a mushroom extract in water every morning, on a friend’s rec. It keeps me from getting sick most of the time.
Anonymous
If you are not having fevers, disgusting green stuff coming out of your nose, body aches/fatigue etc.. requiring multiple treatments with antibiotics….. you’re not sick, per se.
Chronic rhinitis/sinusitis (inflammation) is one of the most common conditions you can have. It is not an acute illness per se. If it is bothersome, you need to go back and see your doctor again and tell them. You absolutely must take the medications they recommend as directed. Many of them only work if you take them every day for weeks. You can’t just stop/start when your symptoms develop.
Agree that it is a good idea to see an ENT or an allergist if you want more specialized input if your primary care isn’t enough. ENT docs are actually surgeons and are less interested in following you long term but could be ok for a few visits.
Often just treating the nose can help. An anti-histamine nasal spray (eg. cheap azelastine) or a steroid spray (fluticasone) or both. You can take an anti-histamine pill (eg. allegra/claritin). Or the best solution that most people don’t want to even try is the Netti pot nasal rinses.
Have you ever been allergy tested? If you don’t have one, get an air purifier for your home and a small one for your desk at work.
Anonymous
This is probably a dumb question but possibly related… My nose runs whenever its below like 75 degrees (I also feel cold below this temp). I always have to have tissues on hand and literally go through a box of tissues a month in my office. Everyone always thinks I have a cold, I don’t, I just have a runny nose because I’m cold. Is there anything that can be done about this? I’ve gotten used to dressing extra warm and keeping a space heater in my office, but can anything keep my nose from constantly dripping?
Anonymous
My nose runs when:
*it’s cold
*I eat/drink something warm
*I work out
*I eat/drink something warm first thing in the morning and the dried up mucus re-hydrates
Sometimes it just runs.
Anonymous
You have vasomotor rhinitis. The classic symptoms of it are runny nose when you exercise or eat etc..
Ask your doctor for ipratropium nasal spray and just take it when your runny nose bothers you.
Coach Laura
In addition to seasonal allergies, you could be allergic to mold, mildew, dust mites or some other household irritant. Like someone else posted, I have to be very careful about scents and having scented flowers in my home or office.
I second the continuous Allegra or Claritin use (I take it 365 days) with the Flonase in addition until you get it under control.
Anonymous
My mom had similar symptoms and after like 2 years it turns out that she had developed late onset cat allergies. She lives in a condo and her 2 neighbors have cats. She thought it was mold somhad an allergy panel done. Not mold-just cats!
AIMS
PSA: there’s an SOS feature on your iPhone that can be activated by pressing the sleep button 5 times. I randomly discovered it when I was updating my privacy settings and wanted to share because I hadn’t ever heard of it and thought other may not know either. You can also personalize it. Seems like a really great tool in case of emergency.
Anon
This is a great tip, thanks!
Paging cbackson
KS IT Chick here…. Checking to see how you did in the Dirty Kansa! I didn’t get to go to the finish line party, as I broke my foot last week, but I was watching from home.
cbackson
IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! and terrible, and beautiful, and…so many things. I finished shortly after 11 PM. Lots of crazy mechanical problems and the headwind was NO JOKE. I feel like I had a very authentic DK experience :-)
My bike disappeared from the finish area and I had to report it stolen to the Emporia PD, who were amazing about searching for it and also getting me back to my hotel (in Elmdale) afterward. It was super, super upsetting. But just this AM I got word that a race team in TX had accidentally put it on their trailer (which I understand…exhausted people, late night, it’s dark, bikes are dirty, and apparently they had a team member who had my same name so they saw the number plate and grabbed it). So my bike is coming home, which is the biggest relief ever.
I cannot say enough good things about how beautiful the Flint Hills are, how amazing and welcoming everyone was, and how much I loved the entire experience. Except for the headwind :-).
Legally Brunette
Reporting back on this dress I bought (in the primrose, which is a gorgeous bright pink).
I love love love the color, I’m just not sure about the gathering at the waist. It seems like it might accentuate parts I don’t want to really accentuate. But again, I’m smitten with the color. Not sure yet.
https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/j-crew-luz-tie-front-crepe-dress/4883598?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&color=tropical%20marine
Elegant Giraffe
I bought it also (in the navy no longer posted). I don’t think the gathering at the waist is wildly flattering on me, but it was good quality for the sale price and otherwise fit well. I will probably keep it for formal meetings, funerals, etc.
Anonymous
I bought the primrose and returned it. The sleeves hit at a weird spot- they were too long for cap sleeves and too short for true sleeves. I got my usually JCrew size, but the gathering made it seem like there was too much room up top in the dress.
Anonymous
Ditto to the sentiments above. I bought it in navy and returned it because I felt like it added a ton of volume to my mid-section in a very unflattering way. It looked great from the front, but was a mess when I turned sideways.
Anonymous
Traveling to Vancouver and Victoria this weekend. Any tips for first-timer in Canada? Any tips for must-see places and things to do?
waffles
Vancouver and Victoria are beautiful! I don’t have many recommendations for Victoria because I normally visit only quick day trips, but there is a traditional afternoon tea at the Fairmont Empress hotel if that is your kind of thing.
In Vancouver, Stanley Park is great for a jog or a bike ride along the sea wall. Kitsilano beach and pool are great. Definitely visit Granville Island for really cool arts and crafts, including an amazing farmer’s market, craft beer and gin, and some great restaurants. The Capilano suspension bridge park is super fun, if you want to get out of the city (there is a free bus that will take you there direct from downtown). Or the Grouse Grind if you want a great workout and some beautiful scenery!
Our FAVOURITE restaurant in Vancouver is CinCin. Can’t recommend it highly enough.
waffles
Oh, and a little off the beaten path, but Guy Fieri visited a Chinese restaurant in Vancouver for his DDD show called Peaceful Restaurant. They make their own noodles by hand (and everything we tried there was excellent). It’s a cab ride away from the touristy part of downtown though.
Anonymous
Co-signing Capilano bridge. We did a summer ride up theski lifts at Grouse Mountain; it was great. Do the ferry from Vancounver to Victoria, and if the tea doesn’t fit your schedule, there was an amazing buffet at the Empress that my husband and I still talk about 15 years later.
Anonymous
We were just there! (Milestone anniversary). Loved Vancouver. We did a bike tour (I think I’m still sore) that went through West End, Stanley Park, Granville Island, and back to City Center. Then we went on the Prince of Whales whale watching – I cannot recommend this enough. We saw humpback whales, sea lions, bald eagles, and transient killer whales. Followed a family of three orcas for at least a half hour. So incredibly cool. Then we did a bus tour to Butchart Gardens and Victoria by taking the ferry from Vancouver to Victoria. Then two days on our own; went back to Granville Island and Stanley Park and took the Seabus over to North Vancouver/Londsdale Quay. Both Granville and Lonsday Quay have fun shopping and food vendors. We had our anniversary dinner at Lupo in Yaletown followed by gelato which is nearly everywhere. We also ate at Nuba (lebanese food) which was really good. Gastown has a lot of restaurants and shops. Bring good shoes for a lot of walking. We also bought a Compass pass for transit. Vancouver is very transit friendly. You’ll have a great time.
Anonymous
Victoria, and mostly around city center: Pagliacci’s, definitely, they somehow had the best focaccia I’ve ever eaten. Also enjoyed II Terrazzo (but not as much as P’s). We enjoyed Discovery Coffee & also Bubby Rose’s Bakery & Cafe. We took the local bus to Butchart Gardens, which we enjoyed. Also did high tea at the Fairmont, which was good but … touristy? Breakfast was great at Mo:Lé Restaurant, and I got the best benedict ever from Blue Fox Cafe (IDK if they take reservations, but you should see, because the wait was LONG).
Coach Laura
Victoria has a great harbor area – take a harbor boat tour. Also, if you like gardens, the Abkhazi is unique. We had a great lunch in their tearoom. We took a city bus there from the harbor/downtown area but maybe uber/lyft would work.
Victoria
The Royal Museum in BC is currently having an Egypt exhibit that’s getting good reviews if you’re the museum-going type (the rest of the museum is also really good). Buchart Gardens are also fabulous.
OP
Thank you for all your suggestions. I will keep them in mind.
Constant Reader
Per the discussion a couple of weeks ago, tor those wondering whether a college degree with debt is worth it, Georgetown University has an excellent report out. https://cew.georgetown.edu/cew-reports/the-college-payoff/.
From the report:
Obtaining a postsecondary credential is almost always worth it, as evidenced by higher earnings over a
lifetime. The higher the level of educational attainment, the higher the payoff. What’s more, the gap is
widening. In 2002, a Bachelor’s degree-holder could expect to earn 75 percent more over a lifetime
than someone with only a high school diploma. Today, that premium is 84 percent.
On average:
• A high school dropout can expect to earn $973,000 over a lifetime.
• Someone with a high school diploma can expect to earn $1.3 million over a lifetime.
• A worker with some college but no degree earns $1.5 million over a lifetime.
• An Associate’s degree-holder earns $1.7 million over a lifetime.
• A worker with a Bachelor’s degree will earn $2.3 million over a lifetime.
Anon
From Figure 4 (page 7) in the executive summary:
“Women make less than men at every level of educational attainment. Women have to have a PhD to make as much as men with a Bachelor’s degree. Men with some college but no degree earn about the same as women with a Bachelor’s degree.”
Shananana
while not truly surprising, sooooooo irritating. Are they taking into account time/wages lost for childcare/maternity when they figure lifetime earnings? I’m trying to make myself feel better as a childless (and planning to stay that way) that its not as bad as it looks. Ugh.
Anonymous
Agreed — it isn’t apples to apples
Anonymous
+1 Agreed.
It is much better now than when I left college almost 30 years ago (gulp!), but we need to be more pro-active in negotiating. Don’t be discouraged. It is still moving in a good direction.
Honestly, if you think of where we were 100 years ago, in the scope of history, it is so amazing how far we have come.
And society still needs to optimize how we support working Mom’s/families so that we get the most out of our work force and have good care for our kids.
anon a mouse
This report is from 2011, unless I am missing something?
Hollis
After curling my eyelashes for 15 years and going through multiple types of curlers, refills, etc. I tried wearing eyeliner without curling and realized that no one can tell the difference. I can’t tell from a distance either. Wow, to think of the time and money and effort I could have devoted to something else! Anyone else have any realizations that some part of your daily routine is a time waster?
Elegant Giraffe
Blow drying my hair immediately from soaking wet. Now, I let it 80 %air dry and then finish it off with a blow dryer (and sometimes straightener). Saves me so much time and misery!
BigLaw Sr Assoc
Yeah this.
IHHtown
Once I started actually caring for my skin and it cleared up pretty well, I realized how many hours of my life were wasted on daily foundation and concealer when I could have just taken my skincare seriously and slept a bit longer to look virtually the same.
Torin
+1
Anonymous
Clearing up my skin with a consistent routine was legitimately quality-of-life changing. Working on doing the same for my hair.
Anonymous
Me too! It took me years to figure out how to clear up my skin. A lot of recommendations from this site helped to push me in the right direction. The blog Snow White and the Asian Pear was extremely helpful in determining which elements from K beauty would work for me. So, that leads me to my question…what resources are you using to work on taking better care of your hair? I too want to do the same but it would be helpful to start with a similar resource.
lawsuited
I stopped using full coverage foundation which then required me to go in with blush and bronzer (and setting powder so the blush and bronzer would blend and then highlighter to counteract the matte-ness of all the powder) to add dimension back into my face and just started using a CC cream so you can still see the tone of my skin underneath. My makeup routine now consists of 3 products and I would never have thought that was possible.
anon
Not as much of a time waster as a money/effort waster, but there is no reason whatsoever for me to have commuted in my heels. My commute is condo– parking lot– drive– parking deck–office, so while not obviously as tough as a 1 mile city walk, still enough time to rough up a nice pair. I almost never ran into a partner I was trying to impress. All that accomplished was making my feet sore, and diminishing the useful life of my shoes.
Now my heels live like fancy cars in a garage, nice and neat under my desk, staying pristine for years.
August
Same! I found the back of my heels got worn from resting on the car floor. Keeping heels for the office (where its mostly carpeted floors too) keeps them basically pristine much much longer.
anon
Painting my nails. Used to get them done every week, now I’ve stopped for years, and there’s nothing missing in my life.
Kelsey
I think I have alocepia. Who should I make an apptmt to see? My PCP? A dermatologist?
Anonymous
Definitely dermatologist.
tesyaa
Endocrinologist
Anon
Any recommendations for equipment to stock a bar/bar cart? I’m at just above solo cup level of fancy and want to up my game. Specific products you love would be great!
Anon
I bought my dad for Christmas some stainless steel stemless wine glasses and insulated whiskey glasses (Tru Blu was the brand I think). He LOVES them and raves about them. If you have outdoor space where you are drinking the lack of breakability is huge (see, pool deck, backyard, etc.) and the insulated ones keep his hands from altering the temperature of his whisky when he drinks. So, would highly recommend, and they don’t alter taste in the same way plastic ones can. I bought some for us as well for outdoors on the brick patio and because they are dishwasher safe (and again, unbreakable), so they check all sorts of different marks.
Shananana
– a real muddler. I have one from OXO that stands up to all.
– a jigger to measure with, as you get beyond red solo cups i find you also get beyond all alchohol splash of mixer days too
– a cocktail shaker. They’re useful and fun :)
In general, I love to pick this kind of stuff up at antique stores/garage sales/etc. I also have a terrible addition to pretty vintage glassware as a result though so YMMV.
Lana Del Raygun
Oh yeah, definitely a jigger; you can use a tablespoon measure but it’s not nearly as much fun and I always forget the ratio.
And an ice bucket if you’re planning to mix drinks away from the freezer.
Anon
Crate & Barrel make some really great cocktail tools that don’t break the bank.
I’d add an ice bucket and ice scoop to the list above.
Lana Del Raygun
I really like IKEA glassware (I have Frasera whiskey glasses and Godis water/highball glasses).
Anonymous
A jar of luxardo cherries.
OP
I don’t like Maraschino cherries but these may have persuaded me that I need to try the real thing. Thanks!
Anonymous
They so good, nothing like those neon colored cherries you get at the grocery store. Must be Luxardo brand.
pugsnbourbon
What do you like to make? That’s a big factor in what and how much equipment you’ll need. Honestly, some of the best stuff I’ve found has been from TJMaxx or Target.
For wine – a good wine key or corkscrew and a foil cutter. I am clumsy so I don’t bother with nice glasses – I have a set of four medium-sized ones that work for red and white. I’m not fancy.
If you make like cocktails, get a heavyweight shaker on the larger size (so you can make 2-3 at once) and a couple of jiggers. Long bar spoon and a muddler for mojitos and old fashioneds. I drink almost all cocktails out of a rocks glass, and I love the heavy-bottomed set I bought from Target.
OP
Wine – which I’ve got covered with fun wine glasses and a decent corkscrew
I love actual cocktails and mix things right now by pouring between two cups…so anything is a step up for me!
Linda from HR
I got my mom a measuring cup for alcohol, it has a slanted edge with numbers inside facing up, allowing you to easily measure booze by the ounce. It was from William Sonoma, but it was years ago and I’ll bet there’s a cheaper version at Bed Bath and Beyond or on Amazon by now. That, plus a shaker and a book of basic recipes should be a good start.
Upped my drink game
I got this for Christmas and really love it. Most everything I need is right there, I commit to a specialty c*tail per bottle of booze (unless I don’t like it). I’m on a Mezcal kick right now and having some fun.
https://www.crateandbarrel.com/11-piece-boxed-bar-set/s556978
Anonymous
Any recs for really comfortable sandals that don’t look like comfortable sandals? I know Birkenstocks, Tevas, etc, but that’s not what I’m looking for. Ideally it’s a sandal that can be worn with dresses and looks less casual than Birks/Tevas. Think more along the lines of Jack Rogers, Tory Burch sandals, etc. But could walk in all day. Does this exist?
Torin
Chacos makes some surprisingly dressy leather sandals.
https://www.chacos.com/US/en/sandals-for-women/?sma=sm.00004gy3g81210coxtoacj3ra55ql#prefn1=collection&prefv1=Leather
tesyaa
Try Clarks
Baconpancakes
Check out Naot and Munro. You’re not going to get Jack Rogers – there’s a reason they aren’t super comfy for long periods of time – but you can get some cute sandals. If you have a Walking Company store near you, check them out.
Mrs. Jones
Born Mai sandals.
BC
I find that the biggest differences in making a sandal comfortable/ something I can walk in for extended distances are whether it has a back strap and no thong. I will not buy any sandals without a back or with any part that goes between my toes. Then, I just look for the prettiest one I can find that fits that bill. I personally tend to like metallics, especially gold.
pugsnbourbon
I walked eight miles one day in my Reef Rovers, which sadly appear to have been discontinued. They might still be too casual for you. The Voyage Hi looks like their current version of it, but I don’t know if the footbed is as nice.
Anonymous
Cobian or Reef, such as the Reef Star Cushion or Bliss. They are on the more casual side but so comfortable.
Scarlett
I like Frye sandals for this
PolyD
Rockports and some Clarks. Some Borns, too. Maybe Naturalizer? Earth brands tend a little more hippy, but have some slightly more conservative styles.
Anonymous
You want the the Ugg Kamile. Shana from the mom edit has been wearing them for the last couple of months – check out her IG shanachristine for pics. bought them on her rec and based on the pics and they are the most comfortable sandals I’ve ever worn & look more like trendy flatforms than “comfort shoes”. I’m 9 months pregnant & chasing a toddler around, so my tolerance for uncomfortable shoes is LOW.
Anon
I have a pair of croc sandals that have a fancy little embellishment on the front and can pass for dressy sandals when they are really crocs. I wear them everywhere in the summer.
anon.
Agree on crocs! I like the style of the Isabella and the (very unfortunately named) S*xi Flip
Anonymous
I like my Naot Kayla sandals, super comfy
BigLaw Sr Assoc
If you like Tory Burch, I have a pair of gladiators with a block heel that I can walk in all day and I think are very stylish. Same with a pair of Kate Spade low wedges. Links coming if I can find them…
BigLaw Sr Assoc
https://www.neimanmarcus.com/Tory-Burch-Reggie-Leather-Gladiator-Sandal-Tan/prod168740254/p.prod
BigLaw Sr Assoc
https://www.lyst.com/shoes/kate-spade-wedge-sandals-donna-t-strap-black-patent/
Anon
Late but: Rieker sandals. So many super cute, super comfy. $100 range.
Anon
Try Taos sandals with the low wedge. They make some ugly styles, but some are cute. I have a strappier version in a metallic pewter that’s not too metallic.
Housecounsel
Another vote for Clarks wedges.
scandinavia
Any travel recommendations for Sweden and Norway? Have flights for July but nothing else planned. Do not want to rent a car, so thinking train between cities. Prefer a mix of city and outdoor adventure – open to anything. Fjords are a must! Prefer VRBO type places over hotels. Research so far with some guidebooks and trip advisor, but would love personal recommendations and tips!
Anon
I followed the blog Heart My Backpack, which has lots of great Norway travel tips. I think one of the main ones is that you will definitely benefit from renting a car in Norway unless you want to stick to the main, super-touristy train trip (forgot what it’s called but you probably already know). The blog Hither and Thither also has good travelogues from Scandinavia with restaurant/shop/attraction tips.
Anon
If you’ll be in Stockholm, go to the islands in the archipelago. Any of them. There will be plenty of ferry connections. It’s where Swedes go in the summer. https://www.stockholmarchipelago.se/en/
trefoil
Norway is awesome, especially in the summer. It is was incredibly expensive, especially for alcohol and dining out.
In Oslo, we rented a flat at Bygdøy allé 53 through https://frognerhouse.no/en You can visit small islands in the harbour where people swim/picnic/daytrip. There’s an Oslo pass that includes entrance to museums, a boat cruise and transit; it was almost worth it for the ease of transit alone. In Bergen, we rented a flat from Damsgard Apartments. In both cities, we took public transit and walked rather than renting a car.
The train from Bergen to Oslo is a beautiful way to see the countryside without driving. We saw people packed for hiking with all of their gear who got off at various stops in the mountains to go camping.
In Bergen, the KODE gallery is a great way to spend a rainy day; there’s an art section and a historical section. The funicular up Mount Ulriken was surprisingly fun; there are goats at the top, kid activities and a geocache. You can also hike one way and take the funicular the other. The fishmarket on the harbour can be full of cruise ships and tourists, but the seafood is outstanding (wander the whole market to see what looks good before picking one!) We ended up not going on a fjord cruise because of the rain/fog–the day we intended to go was so foggy you couldn’t see up the mountain. So much excellent street art in Bergen, too.
The whole country felt very Canadian: polite people, relaxed and casual. (Oslo felt like Halifax; Bergen like St. John’s). If you’re going to the west coast, plan for it to be chilly and damp–it was about 15-20 degrees celcius the whole time we were there and rained twice. Oslo was warmer, but still more in the 20-25 range instead of blisteringly hot.
Anon
Stockholm is beautiful. If you fly in, the express train is pretty expensive, so I really recommend the Flygbussarna. It’s coach busses limited stops from the airport to city center. I loved the ABBA museum, which is super interactive, so if you’re feeling like getting your song and dance on, it will be a total blast. Second the above commentator on the archipelago. Incredibly gorgeous, plan to spend at least a whole day out there. Skansen would be fun in the summer, and it’s on the same island as ABBA and the Vasa museum. For shopping, check out Edblad jewelry, wander the streets and do some antiques shopping in Gamla Stan.
Anon in Houston
Where would you all recommend as a quick trip for a first year anniversary? Ours is coming up (married, not a new relationship) and are drawing a blank. We don’t want to take more than one day off of work and would prefer driving or flights around 2 hrs, up to 3 hrs for a good place. In Houston for reference, so access to airports is not an issue.
Wanderlust
Cancun/Playa del Carmen or DR all-inclusive resort. Thursday night to Sunday night.
Elegant Giraffe
Do you want a relaxing or active trip? Look at Travaasa outside of Austin (or any of those lake resorts). On the other end of the spectrum, we recently did a couple of days in NW Arkansas (Fayetteville/Bentonville). Good hiking, surprisingly good restaurants for the location, and everything was cheap. (There are direct flights from Dallas where I am – not sure about Houston.) You could fly to Savannah or Charleston – both could be covered in a long weekend with minimal travel time.
In-House in Houston
Travaasa is closed…
Elegant Giraffe
Will be open in August! OP didn’t say when they’re going.
Anon in Houston
Relaxing all the way.
Ouch! That hurts
New Orleans?
Fancy hotel in Galveston or San Antonio?
Pamper yourselves at the new Marriott in good old Downtown Houston and take in something in the theatre district with dinner at Brennan’s or Damien’s?
oil in houston
Charleston! so many good bars and restaurants, and the lovely buildings put you in the romantic mood immediately
Anonymous
If you are coming from Houston, Charleston may seem lovely this time of year. But trust me, it’s lovelier in October (or from then to late May). Asheville maybe? And NOLA is an easy flight for you and has fantastic restaurants.
Anon in Houston
Clarify to say, will be in early December.
Elegant Giraffe
Do you celebrate Christmas? We did Philadelphia one year for a long weekend in early December. Everything was decorated but the crowds weren’t as awful as NYC would be, and it felt like real Christmas weather – which was appealing coming from Texas where it was still 75 degrees!
NYCer
For a relaxing long weekend in early December, I would go to Miami or anywhere in the Caribbean that has a direct flight from Houston.
anon
I was going to suggest New Orleans, but maybe not for the summer. My other recommendation is Santa Fe, which is beautiful in the summer.
Anonymous
Napa
A naan
Mexico City, definitely. I haven’t been yet myself, but I’ve heard amazing things. And flights from Houston are inexpensive and frequent.
anon
we did this from Houston and it was so fun! For just a weekend, great couples vacation.
Infertility and insurance
After 6 unsuccessful months, i called and made our first appointment at a fertility specialist for later this week. I felt sad but hopeful. Now, i feel angry because i just learned that my insurance (through my multinational, s&p 500 employer) does not cover iui or ivf. Lovely.
Can someone who has been there give me some realistic numbers on what to budget?
Anon
My IUIs, with meds, were about $1500 each which I heard was on the low side of normal. My IVF was $10,500 without meds and another $5000-$6,000 for meds. Sorry you are in this boat. We are debating IVF number 2 after the summer. We need a break.
Anon
I also did not have insurance coverage so commiseration! That said, have them try to run it through insurance anyway. My insurance ended up covering the estrogen and progesterone saving me a couple of hundred.
K
UGH, same situation here so I feel your pain and it’s incredibly frustrating. I’m now pregnant after IVF. Our initial appointments and testing were covered by insurance, but the meds, egg retrieval, and embryo transfer were not. We also elected to do PGS testing, which added to the cost. All in all we spent almost $20,000 (in a medium sized city in a flyover state, I might add). There are discount programs for the meds, so definitely ask your dr about those. Good luck!
Anonymous
I did 3 egg freezing cycles – so just collection for two, 1 failed – no re-implantation, and spent $40k. I commiserate.
pgs
You can also ask the clinic if anyone has donated meds that you can use. Because IVF is so unpredictable and you don’t want to screw up by not having what you need, people often wind up buying more drugs than they need. Because many things come in individually sealed vials, they can be donated back to the clinic. I wound up with a lot of extra something — can’t remember what it was, but it was expensive, so I returned it when I got pregnant.
I did PGS, which added maybe 10k (high cost of living area). If you do that, you pay for probes to be developed, for freezing and thawing, and for the testing itself.
Crossing my fingers for you and wishing all the best.
Anonymous
I’m sorry, it is so expensive! If you haven’t intervened at all yet, stay optimistic for a little while– after 14 months of no success (we were 29), we got the full walkthrough from our fertility place and the prices were staggering, but then I wound up getting pregnant with twins from just the Clomid… which cost a $5 copay.
RR
Our IVFs were about $14,000 each for IVF with ICSI, including meds, in a midwestern city.
Anonymous
Any rec’s for a nice weekend trip from Houston? Hidden gems??
Anonymous
Ladies – happy Monday. Taking a work trip to Portland, OR. May have some down time. Any food/drink recommendations? Best brunch spot? Already have voodoo, stumptown and Powell’s on my list. Thanks so much!
Anonymous
For Brunch try the Screen Door, Mother’s or Besaws.
Kk
For Brunch try the Screen Door, Mother’s or Besaws.
Anonymous
blue star is better than voodoo. and pips is better than both those! if pok pok’s wait is crazy, go across the st to whiskey soda lounge (same owners, delicious cocktails + food). i like toast for brunch but its deep in SE. walk along hawthorne or division in SE for good vintagey shopping and food. the pearl district is nice shopping and food too but way fancier, whereas SE is more hip and lowkey. the japanese garden is fabulous. also if its a nice day you can go up mt tabor or council crest park. people also love pine state biscuits (and i like the vintage dress shop next door, simply vintage). tons of local coffee other than stumptown too: coava, nossa familia…
Anonymous
I liked Voodoo better! I think it depends on whether you like fluffy donuts (Voodoo) or denser ones (Blue Star).
Portlanonymous
If you’re coming in June, see Lady Day at Portland Center Stage at The Armory. It’s seriously amazing, running through July 1. It’s a show about Billie Holliday’s last performance.
Bonus: the theater is right next to Powell’s, so you can buy books, hit a great place for dinner (in the Pearl District), then see the show.
Anonymous
Wow – these are amazing recs. Thanks so much!!!
anon
Does anyone have issues with USPS tracking saying something has been delivered when it hasn’t? I have a package that was supposedly delivered last thursday and hasn’t shown up yet. This has happened a couple of times before where tracking says delivered but there’s a couple days lag before it actually shows up. Wondering if this is common.
Anonymous
Judging from the frequent complaints on my neighborhood facebook and Nextdoor pages, yep. Also common is delivering packages to the wrong address.
Anonymous
Yes, you can fill out complaint forms and missing mail forms on the USPS website. My local post office is terrible and I complain every time. They sometimes write apologies on the boxes, so they do look at the forms. You can also call or go in to ask what the status is.
Anonymous
I have a question about employment law. I work in sales and marketing for a very small company in California. When I was brought in, I was treated as exempt – no overtime. I’m not sure if I’m technically an outside salesperson. I make less than half my compensation from commission. I also work from home. Am I supposed to be exempt? None of this was explained to me when I was hired. Now, the company is bringing in a new salesperson so I can focus on marketing. They are considering making this person non-exempt. I am upset because 1. this job cannot be done in less than 40 hours a week, we do trade shows, etc… it’s a big role! 2. I have never received overtime and wonder if I’m being treated fairly and legally. What do you all think? Thank you.
anomanom
I would highly recommend going to DOL and finding the fact sheet on FLSA and exempt status for outside sales. Its hard without knowing all your details to know for sure, but sometimes having your hands on the regs themselves will help you make a call yourself.
Coachella
Yes, it looks very interesting and inspiring, but I wouldn’t wear a structured blazer with a belt to work, I only wear belts on cardigans.
XOXO,
Coachella
Standoutlook.com