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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Open Front Stretch Twill Jacket

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White Blazer: Classiques Entier Open Front Stretch Twill JacketOur daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Happy Monday (and Happy Ramadan to all who celebrate!)! I am iffy, at best, on white pants and skirts for work — but even I rock a white blazer from time to time. The right one has a crisp, summery look about it — and from experience they work the best when they are as un-labcoat-like as possible. Here, the short, shrunken shape works (look at the view from the back of the blazer!), as does the sleek collarless shape. The blazer is $278-$298 in regular, petite and plus sizes, and also comes in a cobalt blue. Classiques Entier Open Front Stretch Twill Jacket Here's a lower-priced option (30% off) and another in plus sizes. Psst: Today is the start of Nordstrom's “Personal 10 Points Day” offer. From now through 6/19, you can choose one day to earn 10 points per dollar (instead of 2 per dollar) with your Nordstrom card at Nordstrom and Nordstrom Rack — in stores or online. (To use at Nordstrom.com, just select your preferred date in Checkout.) Some suggestions on what to check out from the Workwear Hall of Fame: this $150 blazer, this dress marked to $65, these $98 pumps, these $99 pumps, these $85 wedges, and this $150 tote bag. Oh, and if you've been on the fence about Akris, there are TONS of gorgeous pieces in the sale still 40% off. I'm a bit obsessed with this simple blazer with mesh insets. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.  (L-all)

Sales of note for 2/14/25 (Happy Valentine's Day!):

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase — and extra 60% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + 15% off (readers love their suiting as well as their silky shirts like this one)
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 300+ styles $25 and up
  • J.Crew – 40% of your purchase – prices as marked
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site and storewide + extra 50% off clearance
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Flash sale ending soon – markdowns starting from $15, extra 70% off all other markdowns (final sale)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

207 Comments

  1. I love white blazers but my rule is they cannot be expensive because they will not last long with me.

    Curious what y’all would do in this situation. DH has his own business and so our taxes are a little bit complicated. His accountant took forever to do them and then ended up filing them late – unbeknownst to us, sort of – because their office screwed up our kids’ SS no. and the returns kept getting rejected. DH was the one dealing with all this because its his business accountant and for a while they couldn’t figure it out; we were just told return got rejected for no discernable reason, then asked to send in copy of SS card to submit with the return, then again rejected, so on – until about the 3rd week when I looked at the return and figured out they had 2 numbers switched around on DS’s SS no. Obviously, we are getting a new accountant. But now we got a letter from the IRS saying we overpaid our taxes slightly and here’s some money back but, oh btw, we’re keeping half of that because you paid late and you owe us interest. On top of this, the CPA also underestimated our liability to the state and so we had to make a small payment there.

    These aren’t large sums of money on either the fed or state returns, and DH is fine just letting it go since between the overpayment and the penalty + underpayment, it’s essentially a wash, but I’m really annoyed at the fact that it took the accountant 4 months to do our returns and then they messed it up like this and we had to pay for their mistake. Can we ask for the interest payment to be refunded from the fee we paid to the accountant? Is there something else we can do? I am so livid about this and the fact that DH is willing to just let it slide isn’t making me happy.

    1. I think it would be perfectly valid for you to ask the CPA to cover the half of the return that you lost due to late filling.

      1. Yay Kat! I love this Blazer, but in NYC Subway’s it is a no-go with peeople wiping their hand’s on us and grabbeing and pusheing us in the train’s. FOOEY!

        As for the OP, I spoke with my dad, and he would go farther then Jwalk. He would make the CPA cover ALL of the cost’s asociated with his screw-up. He also wonders how he can keep his CPA license with such incompetence. Dad is NOT a CPA, but he knows alot about taxes and income stuff, and he handel’s all of MY 401(K) stuff for me, so he know’s how dumb accountant’s can be. Dad also sugested that you go the AICPA and ask them if this schmoe has ever been written up for incompetence before. I am not sure I would go this far.

        I got soaked yesterday in NYC trying to get my step’s in and have to get a new pair of NIKE’s. Does any one in the HIVE have any great sugestions?

    2. May also be able to file some sort of complaint with your state’s accountancy board to alert them to this person’s sloppy work.

      1. I agree the accountant should make this right; clearly their mistake, but a transposition of two numbers does not qualify as a complaint to send to the state board for “sloppy work.” If it was, every single CPA in business would have a complaint on file with the board. And every lawyer would have a complaint on file with the bar association.

        Mistakes happen, and I’m not suggesting this was OK or handled appropriately, but this is an overreaction.

    3. Ughh, this reminds me that we have to deal with the IRS. We owed $40,000 in taxes this year! So we set up a payment plan with direct deposit. A month, two months go by… nothing. My husband gets nervous and uses savings to pay it off in full. And now we get a bill with penalties for not paying on time….
      Gotta love the IRS.

      1. Lol what? You had 40k in savings but tried to do a payment plan? The govt doesn’t give interest free loans. Even with a payment plan you continue to accrue fees.

      2. But the penalties are from the payment plan right? You don’t just get to pay late with no penalty

    4. If it were me, I would just cut ties with the accountant and go on my merry way. You’re certainly justified trying to get him/her to pay, but is that worth your time and effort?

      This is one of those things that stinks, but will probably stink much less once you put it behind you and move on. The faster you are able to do that, the better.

    5. Sounds like you are really annoyed at DH for not being on top of them and following up enough to make sure it got done. If taxes are his responsibility because of his business, he screwed up. I’d be fine letting the fees issue go, but telling him that I’m disappointed in him he didn’t manage the situation better and I expect him to do better and differently next year.

      1. I am annoyed at him. You’re right. I was annoyed when he was not on top of them for 4 months to get this done sooner and I am annoyed that he wasn’t on top of them when they first said they couldn’t file the return. I am even more annoyed that when I initially freaked out about our taxes not being filed, he told me that it was okay b/c the IRS knew there was a problem filing them electronically and that it wouldn’t count as a late filing. I’m not sure if he was told this by the stupid accountant, assumed it or just made it up. Clearly we need a new CPA and I need to be much more involved even though it’s his business, etc. I guess I am just wondering if, husband annoyances aside, I should be doing something about this from the CPA side.

        1. He is correct in that you have a few business days to re-submit a rejected return before it is considered late. However, CPA should have been able to pinpoint the rejection error (I am a CPA) by software. My firm’s software has a code in the e-file rejection saying something to the effect of “SSN does not match database for Dependent XXX”.

          Regardless, the accountant bears some responsibility in data entry error with the SSN. If I were you, I would request a portion of your preparation fee be returned and find yourself a new accountant who has much better communication with his/her clients!

          1. Thanks for this info. Their office did tell us that it was a SS problem but they couldn’t figure out why the SS number was getting rejected. They kept asking us to send them the card itself so they could attach it and then then said they’d mail us the printed copy of the return so we could file it with the card attached. It was when we got it that I finally figured out what happened. Obviously, we need a more detail oriented CPA!

          2. Also CPA. Ditto. Our software tells you where the error is and why it’s getting kicked back. How did you originally give the CPA the SSNs? By phone? In an email?

  2. I ended up bombing the gre (just the quant section – which is most important) a few weeks ago and after the initial shock and disappointment wore off (i studied a lot for it but i have really bad test anxiety and if im being honest with myself i wasnt 100% ready) and taking a break from thinking about it, I’m going to start studying and will retake it in a couple of months. I figure I’ll spend more time doing practice tests and working on calming my nerves but I’m still annoyed I have to go through this again. I know I’m capable of the score I need but I’m having trouble shaking the fear of not doing well.

    Any tips on retaking important tests like this/what i can do the next time around and/or staying motivated?

    1. I also had to retake the GRE after bombing the quant. I did a LOT more practice tests (rather than just reviewing concepts) and re-did all the problems I got wrong over and over until I could get them right. I also scheduled the next test for the early afternoon time rather than the morning time, which gave me time to work out, eat a good breakfast and lunch, and allow plenty of time for transportation rather than rushing out the door first thing and feeling stressed. Also, tell yourself you can take it again if you need to. If you go into it thinking “this is my last chance,” that will make it worse. It’s NOT your last chance and it wouldn’t be the end of the world to take it three times. Good luck!

    2. I just started studying for the GRE last night, how long did you study for before you took it? I’m curious about the whole process.

      And relating to your actual issue, my fiancé has horrible test anxiety too. What helped him on the GMAT was to do what anon @ 9:40 did, take it in the afternoon when you can have a whole morning to get ready. He worked out, had a good lunch, and read that morning to get his brain going but not focus on test material. He got his best score that way!

    3. Do you have test anxiety? Or were you underprepared and not great at this section. I think people confuse the two. If it’s really anxiety- fix that! Which you don’t do by studying even more. Look for stress reduction techniques etc.

    4. My sister totally bombed it the first time, and took it again and got results in line with what she expected. She studied a little more but mostly attributed it to anxiety the first time.

    5. I didn’t bomb my first time, but was 2 points under the minimum required by the grad school I was applying to, which is more annoying if you asked me ;)
      I also took it at a time when the timer’s ticking at you but once you answered a question, you couldn’t go back to it. That really exacerbated my anxiety, since I was trying to balance both time and accuracy (!)
      The only way I can deal with anxiety is by being well-prepared so that my confidence would help curb the anxiety.

      1. I bombed the quant section on the GMAT, redid tons of practice tests for it, and then did worse the next time (and my verbal went up about as high as it can go, without any practice). Work on the anxiety too!

    6. I spent a month and a half working an hour or two a day on Khan Academy’s “World of Math” section. It was just problem after problem after problem, and that practice (on a computer) was just what I needed. When I took the test itself, I just let myself relax into the familiar problem-solving. It also meant that there weren’t things that I technically knew but couldn’t call to mind–I’d reviewed basically everything. I brought my score up *considerably* from a prior GRE a few years earlier, when I hadn’t done much prep.

  3. As a follow-up to what someone posted this week, I’m curious to hear the Hive’s view of my work situation. I’m in-house at a mid-sized company and have been with this company for 10 years (1 year of small firm work prior to that). I’m nearing 40 and although the job has a great work-life balance, allowing me to spend time with my 2 small children and generally have a life outside of work, I’m starting to worry that if I don’t move somewhere else soon, I’ll be aged out – at least in terms of experience – from many other jobs. As the sole attorney at this location, I have a huge amount of autonomy and a prestigious-sounding title, but in actuality do a lot of busy work (e.g. contract management). I worry that I should be looking for a job with more advancement opportunities/more exciting work, but obviously don’t really want to give up the easy work/hours. Thoughts? Am I “leaning out”?

    1. There have been a lot of posts about this, but you need to decide what is important to you. There is nothing wrong with having a job you are generally happy with (particularly one that has good work/life balance), but isn’t necessarily the definition of climbing the corporate ladder. Personally, I am in a contract management role and we are starting a family. I like my work and my coworkers, it pays well (I was able to pay of my student loans and I am making significantly more than most people I graduated from law school with), and it is extremely flexible. It doesn’t have much upward mobility, but you couldn’t pry this job from my cold, dead hands.

      1. Ha. I agree completely. I’m in-house in a mid-sized company, report directly to the GC, have great work/life balance, do work that I enjoy, and it pays well. I’m perfectly content staying here and not moving up in my career for the foreseeable future.

    2. So I don’t have a ton of upward mobility either (smallish firm and I will probably not ever make equity partner since I don’t want to increase my hours that much) but I have lots of flexibility and like what I do. I look at what other jobs would look like and the in-house ones in my field would mean more face time and less flexibility, so for right now I am happy where I am.

      If you like your job well enough, great! If you are bored out of your skull, though, sure, look for something else – but if you don’t want to give up your flexibility, I think that is totally fine. :)

    3. I would stick with the job but look at enhancing your involvement in the professional community when you feel you need a challenge. E.G. don’t just attend the CLE – be the presenter.

      1. Yes. Look at what you can do outside your job. I have a reasonably high-level and prestigious job with great hours and work-life balance, but it’s honestly fairly routine and realistically I can’t really expect a lot of career advancement from here. I’ve gotten really involved in my local Rotary Club and it scratches the itch to have leadership positions and be involved in exciting projects.

    4. I think there is too much pressure to lean in. I have made decisions that will surely limit my upward mobility but will give me the life that I want. You have to know what is important to you. I’m very happy with my job and frankly not interested in making the sacrifices right now that I would need to in order to advance. My personal life is more important to me right now than a job title and different responsibilities.

      2. Agreed.

        I think we’ll see a “lean out” movement from my generation, from both women and men, parents and non-parents, alike.

    6. While I generally agree with the other commentators that you sound like you have a great situation and should probably not worry about whether you are leaning in enough at this point, I also must consider exit options in situations like this.

      Hive, how long is too long to stay in a comfortable job with limited mobility when thinking about the career you want ten, fifteen, twenty years from now? I have a fear of getting stuck in one position, and if that position goes away by either my volition or because of other factors, not being able to find something comprable, particularly in compensation. How do you balance these interests?

    7. Explore other options, but in very selective maner. Understand that “exploring other options” may be a multi-year process. You have a lot to lose, by your own standards for a good job. (Whether or not those standards are something other people want is irrelevant: your life, your job.)

      So look for jobs that have what you value about your current job and also have some room for growth. If you find one such job every six months, fine.

  4. Normally I don’t get super caught up in this type of thing, but I’m absolutely enraged about the rapist swimmer at Stanford who just got a six-month sentence for raping a woman behind a dumpster. The rapist has not acknowledged that he committed and was convicted of a crime, his piece of scum father made a horribly offensive statement to the media about how his son shouldn’t be punished for “20 minutes of action”, and the completely unqualified, sexist judge did the good ol’ “can’t ruin the rapist’s life” sentencing trick despite all of this. Is anyone else in a blind rage about this? Millions of women are raped all the time and every single case is despicable, but this one is really getting to me.

    1. Seriously, just for that phrase, the father should have to go to jail, too. It is horrifying.

      1. +1. Even after his son was convicted, he refuses to acknowledge that he committed rape, which by definition is a violent act–saying in his statement that his son has never been violent to anyone in his life, including that night. And the father thinks it’s just so tragic that Brock doesn’t love to eat ribeyes anymore. The horror! What an absolutely unaware a$$hole. In addition to Brock, he should be required to register to ensure he’s not allowed anywhere near children to avoid having any influence on more men growing up this way.

    2. Oh, and for the record, the rapist’s name is Brock Turner. He doesn’t get to slink away any more than he already has.

    3. I’m with you. Even though the jail time is small, his convictions and registry status still stand and will have a lasting impact hopefully.
      If you want to do something, make a donation to your local rape crisis center. I volunteer with mine and I can tell you that they are fighting the good fight every day in so many ways.

    4. I was furious to start with, then the father’s statement made me want to be a vigilante rage monster.

      I sent a letter to Emily Doe through the DA just as a message of support–her statement to the court was amazing in its strength, wit and power.

    5. YES!!! This case is driving me bonkers. Ughh and the judge with his “jail will ruin this kid’s life” crap. What about the life of the woman he raped while she was unconscious behind a dumpster!!!!

    6. 20 minutes of action? Does he not realize how quickly some of the worst crimes can be committed? Sure, some heinous crimes can be carried out for years, like imprisoning someone in your house, or torturing people, or being a serial killer. But it only takes minutes to strangle someone, seconds to stab someone, and a split second to shoot them. The fact that he was only bad for 20 minutes doesn’t make what he did any less bad; rape is rape whether it lasts 5 minutes or 45.

      1. The point is that he called it “action,” i.e. “getting some action,” the slang term for s3x. So basically he’s saying that his loser kid was just having s3x/boys will be boys, et al.– denying that it was rape. Not that it was only 20 minutes.

        2. No way am I defending any of this nonsense. However, if you read the father’s statement in its entirety, I think he was trying to say that his son’s entire character and life should not be judged based on his actions during a 20 minute period. It did not read to me at all that me meant “action” as a slang term for intercourse.

    7. I don’t disagree with your outrage but the father’s statement was not to the media. It was lifted from the letter he wrote to the judge for the sentencing hearing, asking for leniency (just as the victim wrote a letter asking for a harsh sentence). I agree the “20 minutes of action” phrase was a horrible choice of words but the actual letter was a pretty typical parental “my kid is a good kid, please don’t make him go to jail” letter. It bothers me that basically every outlet has reported on this has acted like it’s something the father wrote in response to the actual sentence, when it was actually written to the judge before the sentencing.

      1. You’re right, but it doesn’t change the fact that nowhere in the father’s or the rapist’s statement so either of them bother to acknowledge the woman who suffered and suffers here. There is no remorse for her, it’s all remorse that his life has been “ruined”. Especially after reading her statement, which is just so articulate, their attitudes just make me rage-y. Because HE’s the victim here. Right.

      2. Be that as it may, neither the father nor the son expressed any acknowledgment of (much less remorse for) the crime the son committed. It’s victim-blaming to the extreme, tries to deflect the point to be about alcohol usage instead of sexual violence, and ignores the impact on the victim, the only one who didn’t choose “the events” of that night. Also, the son isn’t a good kid.

      3. I was looking at this the same way – just a dad asking for leniency – until I actually read the letter. The father suggested that Brock could contribute to society by educating college students on “the dangers of alcohol consumption and sexual promiscuity.” So he sees the real problem as drunk promiscuous college girls. Not a word even acknowledging that there was a victim. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

        1. + 1000

          While I understand the letter was to the judge, he basically said, boys will be boys, so he shouldn’t be punished much. He didn’t say, my son did something wrong and is repenting for it.

      1. The whole thing is rage worthy Brock Turner is a piece of shit and so is his father.

        The thing that stuck with me the most was that one of the bystanders (Swedish grad students) who ran him down and captured him was crying so hard at what he has witnessed Brock Turner do that he couldn’t even speak to the police officer initially.

        1. I can’t tell if that’s a troll site meant to fire up people who are already mad about this or if it’s a legitimate site run by Brock and his people. Either way, it’s disgusting.

        2. WTF?????

          Please tell me this is some sick joke. The guy also mentions that he hopes Trump is elected president so that Trump will give Brock Turner a full pardon (!!). Further proof that Trump attracts psychos.

      3. Thank you for posting that. I read it in its entirety and marvel at her strength.

      5. I could barely get through reading that over the weekend but it was so important to read and share. She is unbelievably brave and the honesty of her message was just incredible. I can’t begin to imagine what she is going through and I am so glad she shared this, even though I am sure it was almost impossible for her to do so.

        I truly hope Brock Turner pays the price for this for the rest of his life.

      6. I’ve read this twice now and dissolved into tears each time. That last paragraph breaks me. I am going to print this out and show it to my two sons in about 15 years, when they’re in high school. Everyone must read this.

        Does anyone know how to reach the victim and let her know how much we admire and respect her?

        1. Also a great idea. I watched Confirmed or Confirmation or whatever it is called last night about the Clarence Thomas Supreme Court nomination hearing and Anita Hill’s side of what occurred.
          SPOILER ALERT

          I cried when she returned to her office to find it just full of support mail. Also, the fact that she never really “came forward.” The senate judiciary committee came to her and she felt it was her duty to respond honestly. The victim in the above statement also didn’t get to choose whether to report or not. She was found mid crime.

          I’m also disgusted by some of the media about it correcting that it wasn’t r@pe but digital penetration. Still r@pe or at least, still sexual assault.

      7. “I wanted to take off my body like a jacket and leave it at the hospital with everything else.”

        As a fellow survivor, that sentence captures exactly what I go through. Not just when it happened, but with every nightmare, every time someone innocently touches me in a triggering way, every time someone looks at me too intensely. That sense of, I have to escape my skin rightthisminute.

      8. I read it this weekend and couldn’t stop thinking about it. So many instances that floored me, especially when she said that her sister felt more guilty about what happened than Brock Turner ever did. Isn’t that how it goes? Wow. The last paragraph and “lighthouse” metaphor brought tears to my eyes. I’m glad she wrote such a long, powerful statement and gave herself more of a voice. It’s good for people to know what her experience has been and to see her suffering throughout the trial. My husband read it too.

    9. I am seriously angry with this judge and I hope that the convicted rapist Brock Turner has a hard time sleeping at night. My husband has clients who are rotting in prison for a decade for selling marijuana in a park, but Brock Turner, rapist, can’t have his life ruined because he raped someone?

      I also hope someone gave those Swedish grad students an award for being decent human beings. Not everyone would have done what they did.

      1. I’n also SO disgusted at the media (particularly this horribly fawning Washington Post article) for going on and on about how sad it is that Brock’s life was ruined (note: he ruined his own life and someone else’s as well) with NO word about how the victim’s life was ruined. Where are all the fun childhood quotes, lists of favorite foods, and athletic stats for the victim? I cannot stand when the media makes light of male violence like that.

        1. I’m breaking up with WaPo over their horrifically biased bs puff piece article.

          The amount of rage I feel about something that happened a few miles from where I live and work is nearly overwhelming. I can only imagine how awful this entire experience has been and continues to be for the victim/survivor of the rape. What an amazing, brave woman to stand up like this.

          I’m voting against the Judge, but judges always get reelected, so that’s really not going anywhere.

          Californians, please note that under the current CA crim regs, rape of an unconscious person is not defined as a “violent” felony (WTF) and thus, Governor Brown’s proposition on the November Ballot would let Brock and other convicted felons of “serious” but not “violent” felonies like rape of an unconscious person serve only 50% of their sentences. “Violent” felonies serve 85% of their sentences. I’m a lifelong Democrat but I’m voting against that prop. I encourage you all to do your research and consider voting against it as well. Lots of felonies we laypeople think of as “violent” are not defined as “violent” in the criminal code.

          Meanwhile, poor Brock’s dad is bummed because poor Brock isn’t excited about steak or chips anymore.

          I cannot process his father’s comments. At all.

          1. WTF?? Please tell me there’s a bill to reclassify rape as the violent crime that it is. That is so beyond messed up.

      2. Lawyer people: is there a way to register a complaint against the judge in this case?

        Signed,
        A non-involved but very angry person

          1. I don’t know how relevant it is, but Judge Persky also went to Stanford and was an athlete (lacrosse). It is disheartening how many men seem to identify so much more with the rapist’s point of view.

  5. My historically fickle “friend” has severed our friendship again, and this time I don’t think I’ll want to take him back if (and when) he comes crawling back 6-12 months from now.

    He’s been doing this since college. The first time he stopped talking to me he was justified in doing so, I got upset over a misunderstanding and overrreacted. Then when he was like “it’s all good, let’s be friends again” I was delighted he was giving me another chance.

    The next time he went dark, he blocked me completely, and there was no warning or explanation; I had no idea why he was upset until he re-initiated contact maybe 6 months later. That time I apologized because when he finally told me I decided he was, once again, right to be upset.

    Maybe a month later, he blew up at me during a conversation and berated me for being a horrible person, and said “goodbye for good” and blocked me.

    A year later, he apologized again and we were friends once again. This time friends with benefits for a bit. But it had to be a secret friendship because his friends didn’t like me and didn’t approve of him talking to me. From there, the friendship ebbed and flowed, I don’t think he’d gotten mad or shut me out completely for a few years.

    But recently I realized I hadn’t spoken to him in a few weeks, and I intended to text him and catch up. But when I went to message him on Facebook I realized he had unfriended me. I sent him a message which I know he saw but never responded to. I have no idea what happened this time, and since the last time he’d come back into my life I told him several times that if something was bothering him I wanted him to talk to me about it. Clearly, that did not happen, once again he decided there was a problem that was so bad he didn’t want to talk to me anymore.

    I feel like I’ve given him more than enough chances at this point, mostly because when we are friends he’s a great person to talk to and he’s helped me through some tough times, but I think this is it, even if he changes his mind. I can’t be friends with someone who keeps shutting me out and leaving me to wonder why. Should I say anything to him now? Or wait to see if he tries to come back and then basically say “nope, not this time”?

    2. Honestly, this sounds crazy and like way more drama than it’s worth. Why are you still hanging on?

      I don’t mean this to be judgmental I swear – what are you getting out of this limited friendship that is worth being treated like this?

      1. Like I said, when we are friends he’s a really good person to talk to, he’s supported me through a lot and given me a lot of reassurance when I’ve been feeling down, and we click on a bunch of things. So when we text back and forth it’s been enjoyable, especially recently, which is why I’m so baffled that he just ended it out of nowhere, with no indication he was upset. I wonder if he felt I was being ungrateful or he was frustrated he was always the first to initiate conversations.

        But I agree, this pattern is more trouble than it’s worth and that’s why I want him to stay away this time.

        1. Who freaking cares if he felt you were ungrateful. What does that even mean? Healthy people do not expect gratitude for friendship or worry they were not showing it.

          2. This is true, but I think it is reasonable to be frustrated with someone when you’ve gone out of your way to help them, and they act like a jerk, basically spitting on your generosity. Others, I’ll admit, believe you’re ungrateful if they’re nice to you and you don’t respond by gushing with praise.

            I do think I’ve encountered a lot of toxic, manipulative people in my life, and it’s hard to tell when someone’s understandably upset and when someone’s actually overreacting.

    3. What the what?!? No. Your name is no, your number is no, you need to let this go. Ask yourself why you slept with a guy who treats yourself like dirt. Like, really. Sit with that for a while. Then lose his number, block him, and never speak to him again because he is the actual worst. Don’t reach out now, that’s just inviting his drama back into your life.

    4. I’ve had friends like this. They come and go. I have one who is “in” now but I joked the other day we’re due for a breakup. It’s fine – it’s like fast food of friendship though. They’re there now when you need them but if they disappear tomorrow, whatever.

      It’s also legit to say, no, not this time. Defend yourself and what you need.

      1. Coming and going is fine, I don’t mind a period of just naturally not talking because we get busy, that happens in a lot of friendships that formed in high school and college. But these friendships that ebb and flow don’t normally involve the person blocking my messages, removing me as a contact on social media, or actually telling me we’re done for good.

    5. This is crazy pants. I can’t understand why you would ever want to have any contact with this person again.

      Don’t make a big deal about it, you’re just too busy to keep in touch and if other ask you drifted apart. Don’t add to the drama, just end it. And you don’t need to make a big deal out of officially ‘ending it’. Just don’t stay in touch.

    6. I have friendships that drift in and out of intensity, but the blocking and coldness you are experiencing with this guy are beyond the pale. You don’t need this kind of drama, cut him loose for good. Make a new friend.

    7. Jitterbug- I’ve suggested therapy a few times for you , I don’t know if you have ever seen or replied to them though. You have crippling low self esteem, and every story you have about how you let other people treat you just makes me cringe. This guy isn’t even your friend. Just move on. And I really really suggest talking to someone about this issue that keeps popping up for you- it’s all routed in low self esteem.

      2. Yep. This.

        What you are describing is just nuts and you really should talk to somebody about it.

      3. Add me to the list of people +1ing this.

        “He’s a great friend (in secret, because he can’t be public friends with me because his other friends think I’m a bad person, apparently), except for when he’s telling me I’m a terrible person and cutting me off” = HE IS NOT A GREAT FRIEND. HE’S NOT EVEN A FRIEND. The fact that you think of a person who treats you this way (repeatedly!) as a friend is just sad. Your friends should be people who openly love and celebrate you, not people who tell you you’re horrible, keep your friendship a secret, and then intermittently blow up and give you the silent treatment.

          1. Exactly. if someone keeps cutting me out of his life there’s probably a reason for it. I don’t need self esteem, need to figure out why I’m such a crummy person.

          2. I hope you are a troll because if you are an actual person who believes this, you need far more help than an internet message board can provide.

    8. This person is a class A a$$hole. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, and never talk to or communicate with this person again. Block all of his numbers, social media accounts, whatever. This person treats you like $hit and you keep apologizing and letting him back into your life. No. Just no.

    9. I went through a similar experience, but a bit briefer than yours. The first time he “confronted” me about being a “bad friend,” I was horrified. He said I was drunker than I thought and embarrassed him and everyone else with us. I was so embarrassed that I actually reached out to other friends that night and apologized. They were all like, “What on earth are you talking about? You were fine.”

      The next one was when he told me I “didn’t celebrate [his] birthday enough,” even though I 1) dropped off a gift to his house the day of his birthday and 2) attended his birthday party the following night, I apparently made too much of a big deal of my OWN birthday (we were all much younger then) and not enough of his.

      That was enough for me. I realized it was him, not me, and I wasn’t going to be gaslighted. We are still arms-length friendly when I see him around, but we haven’t hung out one-on-one in many years. I have never regretted making that decision for me. I still am sad sometimes when I think of all the fun we used to have, but nothing compared to the freedom of not having to worry about the constant judgment of a “friend.”

      You’re making the right move to let it go and move on. It’s him, not you, and there are better fish-friends in the sea.

  6. I have a interview this week to be a Project Manager at a prescription management company. What do I wear? My current office is casual casual. I only have 2 suits but I interviewed a ton a year ago and it took me a really long time to get a job so I would like to change up the things I can control. What should I wear? It has to be at a store but we have everything nearby.

    HELP!

    3. I always wear a suit or a nice dress (I like ralph lauren surplice dresses) with a jacket. Might switch to a cardigan depending on weather for multiple callbacks.

      Don’t stress this too much. What you’re wearing is likely to be the most inoffensive part of your entire package. My goal is always for my attire and hair to be forgettable.

    5. Definitely a suit. Do the 2 you have now fit well? Are they dated or faded or not in top form?

      If they are good classic suits (navy/black/gray without any weird frills or detail) I’d focus on how to feel at the top of your game in one of them. Would they fit better if they were tailored? What about a new blouse or new shoes or new (subtle, small) jewelry to wear with them? Or would you feel more put together with a fresh pair of Spanx or new bra? Or getting your hair blown out and styled the night before, or a new lipstick? Or just shop your closet for the things you already have but don’t wear very often.

      Just pull every single thing out of your closet that might work, line it up and try it on in front of a mirror to see if you can figure out what isn’t working for you or if you can change up one piece to feel more confident. This would be a good time to ask a friend to come give an opinion on options A vs option B, etc.

      If you don’t currently wear heels in your casual casual job but will for the interview, practice walking around in them every night this week before the interview. Practice sitting down and standing up in a skirt and heels, practice stairs, etc. Or at least, this is what I have to do because I’m such a klutz the for the first few hours I’m wearing heels when out of practice.

    6. Wear a suit. Your current suits probably had no role in how long it took you to get a job last year, unless it was a really weird, inappropriate suit (like a short suit).

    7. All I can think of is a joke white blazer lab-coat thing where you look like Dr. Bunsen or Beaker from the Muppets. Sorry. (Get it — prescription management, like a pharamcist?) Obvs. listen to the wiser voices here.

      1. Ha! No perfectly appropriate gray skirt suit. Just bought myself a great top for under it.

        I’ve got this.

    1. Ramadan Kareem Ru!
      I hope you’re having a good fast.
      I am powering through the fourteenth hours of fast and here in Europe it will be a little over 5 more hours to break the fast but I am very excited for this month.

      1. Houda! So good to hear from you. I’m really excited about Ramadan, too. Hope all is well!

  8. If a friend’s parent died, would you send a card or is a personal text/email/call OK or do you do both (don’t know the parent and this is a close friend but met as adults and the parents lived across the country). I feel like sending flowers is a bit much – like reserved for family friends. Separately, a very close friend’s sibling died and do know the parents from childhood: send them a card? And how long is too long because it’s been a few weeks. They did ask for donations to a charity but how long after the death is it awkward to send a card or donation? In both cases I live several states away.

    1. In both cases I would absolutely send a card. I would also call my friend. I would never text. It is not awkward to make a donation or send flowers now in either situation.

    2. It’s common for people going through a difficult time to get a lot of attention and help at the beginning, which usually tapers off. Unless these people are sticklers for timeliness or etiquette, reaching out after the fact is good, because it shows that someone is aware of their situation.

      1. After my mother died it meant an awful lot to me that people reached out. It doesn’t matter how awkward it is or feels. Truthfully, in one case I stopped maintaining contact with someone because I found out she knew my mother died and didn’t acknowledge it in any way. (She was an old college buddy I spoke to on the phone every few months. I had been doing most of the initiating but had attributed it to her having a young child/ not being very organized. This made me believe she really didn’t give two figs about me.)

    3. An elderly neighbor recently passed away, so I filled a card with all of the lovely memories I have of her while growing up in the neighborhood. I am specifically waiting a couple weeks to send it in hopes of brightening their day with some nice words after the other cards have stopped coming in.

      I think a card is always appropriate to send and a nice memory written inside will brighten the day of the recipient.

    4. I recently lost a parent. Absolutely send a text and a card. Donation if you want. Your friend will not think it’s strange, and she’ll appreciate hearing from you. It’s not too late. There are a few people I haven’t heard from, and I’m truly hurt, on top of the grief of losing my parent. I guess my point is there is no downside to sending a card.

      1. +1

        It is completely fine to send something later/after the fact, and will always be appreciated.

        When my mother passed, it was truly shocking to me how many people ran away from it/me. I was the only one in my peer group that had lost a parent.

        Is it really that hard to send a card? No…. and it means so much.

        Skip the flowers though.

        1. how long is too long? I went to a friend’s father’s funeral but did not send a card. It has been maybe 3 months, and I was thinking of sending a “thinking of you” card. too late?

          1. Main thing is that you went to the funeral. If you wanted to send a card saying ‘thinking of you’ now I’m sure it would be welcomed. Grieving for a parent takes time; your friend may still be in the middle of it (at three months, I certainly was).

          2. No, not too late at all. You already went to the funeral, which is a LOVELY gesture she will never forget. Much better than a card. To send a card now makes you an angel, as people quickly expect you to be past it, when in fact it often becomes more painful over the next year or two.

            It is wonderful to check in a year later. Often people really suffer at that 1 year mark.

            Thanks for asking.

    5. Generally, I think any gesture you’re willing to make any time after a loss is appreciated. I agree that I would send a card but would not email or text. Sending flowers might seem like too much, but I promise the family wouldn’t see it that way. They would just think it was really nice of you. And I think a card or donation even several weeks afterward is still very thoughtful and, as some have pointed out above, has the added benefit of letting them know people are thinking of them after the initial influx of people has waned.

    6. I’ve had this happen a couple times in the last few years. Both times I sent a plant (since plants are living; cut flowers are dead). They were both really good friends of mine and I knew their parent who had passed away.

      At the very least, I think a card saying you are thinking of them is appreciated and shows support.

  9. Hello. . . interview attire threadjack. I’ve been invited to apply for a position with a competitor. I don’t know that I’ll take it if offered, but want to at least move through the process to confirm. They requested that I meet with an executive who’s in town tomorrow, for a lunch. I’ll probably have 1-2 more meetings along similar lines and maybe a formal interview. Can I wear the following to these meetings/lunches (I’d bite the bullet for a black or gray suit for a HQ-style interview):

    – a dark brown pantsuit (the brown leather shoes I have are not really formal enough, and I hit up 3 stores yesterday and found no options. I could do a nude peep toe but that seems weird). My brown purse is a little casual and a different brown than the shoes would be but in good shape.
    – a purple wool short-sleeve work dress w black patent shoes and a tote bag. This dress is my go-to for client meetings in my industry.
    – a black jacket, gold snakeprint pencil skirt – these are a little loose on me because of recent weight loss.

    Or panic and buy a black/other suit tonight?

    1. I don’t think you necessarily need a suit for all of these but I don’t like any of the alternatives you listed. I think this is suit or formal separates territory. Personally, I loathe brown suits but I guess it could work. But unless you have a sharp black blazer to go over the purple dress, no. And no part of interviewing ever EVER involves gold snakeskin anything.

      1. Sorry, should have added the snakeskin print is a really formal looking skirt – it’s like a tapestry material. It looks much dressier than it sounds.

        The suit wouldn’t work with the patent pumps to me – the suit is a little casually styled (has a couple pockets up on the breast – 3 button jacket. I think if I found some sharp brown shoes, it would help.

        The black jacket I have doesn’t work with the purple dress, unfortunately.

        Another option is the black jacket with a black, blue, green print sheath dress, but the dress is shiny. I’ve worn it to meetings with the jacket, but also alone as a day-to-night work dress.

        Or the black jacket with a teal Calvin Klein work dress. . . . do these appeal more?

        1. No. I don’t think any of that is appropriate. I’d be urgently buying something new.

      1. My logic is that you’re still at initial stages of gauging interest, and presumably your dress is appropriate for important meetings in your industry and would be perceived as such by the exec you’re meeting.

        If you prefer to wear the brown suit, how does it look with the black patent shoes?

    3. I would wear the purple dress with the black jacket over it tomorrow, and then invest in a few separates that coordinate but also fit into my current wardrobe for the next few occasions. Maybe a dark color pencil skirt and 2 separate jackets that coordinated with each other and with other things already in my closet.

      Last minute shopping always leads to regrets in my world, but it sounds like you could utilize a few carefully chosen pieces even if this process does not lead to a new job.

    4. Do you have any non-descript suits in navy or black? I am having a hard time envisioning any of the above being ok outside of an AVON interview.

      1. I don’t. . . haven’t interviewed in years and years, and this lunch meeting just got set up yesterday. I did a quick shopping trip but couldn’t find much yesterday that didn’t need alterations, which I don’t have time for.

        1. Hi everyone – ended up getting a formal crepe black suit but the only pant option was ankle length. I bought them. Hopefully this will work. It fits really well. Thanks to all for your thoughts!

  10. Boston ladies – a colleague of mine will be spending July at a university in Boston and is looking for a sublet or other housing opportunity. He’s an awesome guy and very responsible. He’s married, but I think he’s alone for this venture. Any ideas?

    1. I’m in Boston and work for a university. I just checked the classifieds for the university and saw 2 sublets listed. I think I’m still the owner of the boston corpor3tt3 gmail account. So you can email me. He should also check the classifieds in the newspaper for the university he’ll be working for…

      Replace 3s with es and remove the space, of course.

    3. Try the “Boston Housing Network” and “Boston Housing, Rooms, Apartments, Sublets” groups on Facebook. Craigslist. Padmapper.

      Please know that I am in law school in Boston and there were a number of sublet situation for my classmates that were scams. This is always the case, but your friend should not wire money in advance. A check when he moves in should be sufficient.

  11. +1 to your comment about not liking white blazers that look like labcoats. So many make me feel like I’m playing doctor. I like this blazer a lot and think I might like it even more in cobalt. Was checking out the Classiques Entier stuff yesterday and they have so many beautiful things.

    1. I can highly recommend the Eliza J blazer from Nordstrom featured on here (or maybe on CMoms?) a few weeks ago. It was really affordable, very fitted, and I’ve been wearing it a ton. It has ruched 3/4 length sleeves.

  12. A job posting gives a name / number for informal inquiries. Is it bad just to send my application in? I’m an absolute dork on the phone and know I’ll sound nervous. Ironically, I’m really friendly and approachable on the phone (worked in IT customer service for 2 years) but I’m terrible at calling people.

    1. Suck it up and be a grown up CB!!! Write a script. Figure out what you want to know (is position still avaliable/how to apply) and do it. Role play the convo on the phone with your husband if you need to.

      1. I know, I know, I’ll call. It’s still available (closing date is the 20th with interviews in mid-July – it’s a formal process here in the UK) but the job description is fairly comprehensive that I’m not even sure what I’d ask.

        1. Then don’t call? Just because the number is there, doesn’t mean you have to use it, right?

          If you call without a substantive question, you are just wasting the time of the person on the other end of the line.

    2. Do you have any actual questions about the position or the posting? If you don’t have any questions, you don’t need to call – just send the application in.

  13. The Brock Turner sentencing and the powerful victim impact statement were on my mind all weekend. As someone who experienced a sexual assault in college that devastated me, I sometimes look around at all the powerful women I work with now and wonder whether they’ve experienced that too. 20% of college women have. Unlike the Stanford woman, I did not pursue prosecution (the police dissuaded me because of the difficulty of proving it, despite getting prompt medical attention). At the time, I also didn’t want to destroy this person’s entire life over one bad mistake. But the person who assaulted me went on to get married, have a beautiful family, and get a good job (ironically in my same industry). Meanwhile, fifteen years have gone by I’ve incurred easily $100,000 in medical expenses (much but not all paid by insurance), not to mention the lingering effects it’s had on my relationships and sense of safety in the world. I doubt anyone who knows me professionally would suspect that I carry those scars. Sometimes I wonder whether there would be power in being public about this history, in more survivors coming forward to speak about the long-term effects (both psychological and financial) of this kind of trauma.

    1. This year an amicus brief was submitted by 113 female attorneys who shared their abortion stories. I thought it was really powerful and brave. I think one of the Texas legal magazines did a follow up story with 3 of the attorneys, including one minority associate at a biglaw firm. I really appreciated and respected their willingness to share their experiences.

    2. I don’t have anything to say about your question, but wanted to thank you for telling your story and let you know I heard you and am thinking about you. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Internet hugs.

    3. I am with you. Thank you for sharing with us. You are not alone, and you are so strong.

    4. I would never tell an individual woman that she *should* go public. I absolutely get why people would not do so.

      However, I appreciate your sharing your story, here, so much. And I do think that doing so encourages other women to do so.

      Much love and appreciation to you.

    5. I have no response. As the mother to 2 boys, I am trying to raise good men. The oldest is young, we talk about consent in ways he understands now. I am so, so sorry you went through this. It’s been on my mind, too, mostly as a woman (potential victim) more so than as a parent of a possible (hopefully not likely) perpetrator.

    6. This is so powerful. Thank you for sharing it. You are so right about the long-term effects. I know a young woman who, a few years ago, was kidnapped and sexually assaulted in her car by a group of young men. It took her months to be able to come back to work. Even now, she experiences days where she can’t leave the house, can’t get out of bed. Others may look at her and think she’s doing great – she got married recently and seems great to the average person. But it has taken a toll and continues to. Just horrific.

  14. I’m in custom publishing and work with a lot of different clients on different types of projects (reports, research, infographics, etc.). As part of my deal with the devil to get more staff under me, I’m going to have my small department start using time tracking software. This would help accounting, operations and myself better understand how much time is spent on various projects (to better understand ROI) and better appreciate where my time in particular is spent most (sadly, it’s things like writing subject lines and marketing copy for 500 gazillion emails a day that are part of our standard offerings instead of new product development in custom–folks get that this is a problem, but I want to help make my case).

    Can any of you recommend time tracking software that isn’t too much of a hassle to use, especially for these “death by ants”days? Ideally, low cost.

    1. I use myhours.com for freelance work. It’s free for me and relatively affordable for small businesses, I believe. I’m transitioning to a full-time job with a company that uses Harvest.

    2. Wish I had had a way to quantify this in my last job. “Well you only turned in 5 projects this month.” yes, but I did A, B, C, D, E, F, G and I answered the phones which all took time, if not major projects… Death by ants for real.

  15. Ok… I have been a lurker for a couple of years and will very sparingly post. I recruit for the specialty chemicals industry. I’ve never had a reason to bring my day job to this forum but I have an International Client (Chemical Company) that has an expatriate (EX-PAT) patent attorney opening in their cutting edge international R&D facility. Ideal candidate will have a biochemistry, chemistry, biology or chemical engineering background with 5 plus years of relevant intellectual property experience with a law firm or corporation. Overall international compensation package is $375-450K. I’m assuming that this comment will go into moderation :) Forgive me if I am totally out of line for bringing my day job to this forum.

    1. Thanks Kat!! I never get legal related opportunities and I am always SO IMPRESSED with my fellow rettes that practice law. I promise not to inundate with other “recruiter stuff” posts.
      Related Notes:
      Other technical backgrounds will be considered.
      Five plus years of relevant intellectual property experience with a law firm or corporation.
      Experience with patent preparation and prosecution, IP strategy development, opinions and client counseling.
      Ability to communicate with senior R&D managers and executive leadership team.

    3. This was my literal dream job description before I started practicing. Not in the area, but past me would have died twice for this job.

    4. I’ve got a SIL coming into town today who has 20+ years biochem patent law experience and a PhD in biochem. If she were interested in such a thing, do you have contact info?

    5. JD, BioChem PHD and Patent Agent here looking for in-house work. How does one get in touch?

  16. Anyone have experience with Lyocell fabric? I bought a denim dress in lyocell that was so soft and flowy when I got it. I washed it once (gentle cycle, cold water, hung to dry) and now it feels starchy and rough, almost like paper or wood. Is there anything I can do to make it soft again?

    1. I’ve run into this with rayon – hanging to dry leaves the garment stiff and starchy, so I throw them in the dryer. Sometimes this leads to shrinkage, though. Could you toss the dress in the dryer on low heat with a damp cloth for a while?

      1. +1, with steam (start with the coolest setting that gives you steam – silk, maybe?)

  17. Does anyone have any experience with the Obagi C Rx skin care system? My derm recommended it and I’m using the whole line currently (cleanser, toner, Vitamin C serum, exfoliating lotion, sunscreen and then the Obagi retin-a at night). I normally have great skin but ever since I started using these products I have been breaking out. Prior to this, I probably had not had acne in a decade. I read some reviews online and evidently there is some “purging” process that some people experience. I left a voicemail with the derm this morning but wondering if anyone has any thoughts. I used Vitamin C very briefly years ago and I used Retin-A before, with no break outs. This stuff is pricey so I’m feeling pretty disappointed.

    1. If your skin was clear to start with why are you using this stuff? What condition is your derm treating with it? Sounds like an expensive boondoggle to me.

  18. Do you focus only on IP Attorney placements or do you recruit for other legal backgrounds?

    1. I recruit for the Specialty Chemicals industry, so the specific type of legal opportunities vary. Right now I have a different client in the PA area that is seeking to fill an Environmental, Health & Safety Counsel role. This role will function as a pro-active corporate and business partner to provide environmental, health, and safety related regulatory and business advice to manufacturing operations in Agricultural Solutions, Health & Nutrition, and Lithium business units. The position also serves to provide support and advice on remediation at active and legacy sites, as well as related litigation management.

      **Man I hope that Kat doesn’t block me from the site for posting work stuff :/

  19. I’m thinking about buying a separate computer monitor/thin screen to keep on my desk at home. I’ll connect my laptop somehow.

    What size of a monitor would be useful for this?

    I’m using it on a simple desk in my “home office”. I use my computer mostly for writing documents/reading references, and internet surfing. Having two documents open at once would be useful.

    2. I bought a 24-Inch flat screen monitor for my home office, which allows me to have two Word documents or a Word and a pdf open side-by-side at the same time. Mine hooks up using a VGA connection (because it’s older), but you should look at your laptop to see if the video connector is HDMI or something else. Really happy I did this. I also got a keyboard, a mouse, and a USB hub so I can plug everything in at once.

  20. My spending is well within what I can afford, but I would like to be saving more. How do you motivate yourself not to buy things when they do add some positive utility to your life?

    1. Spending fast. Delay buying wants, and at the end of the month/3 months/etc you can re-analyze if you really want them still. Transfer your savings to an unattached savings account so you literally can’t spend it.

      1. Totally does not work for me. Just like a food fast, I binge as soon as it is over, and end up spending more money than I would have if I had not fasted. OP, I would take a careful look at everything you’re buying over a three month or so period and figure out what you can cut. You may feel like everything you’re buying is adding some “positive utility” to your life, and that’s good, but most people can’t buy everything they would like to. Categorize your purchases as needs versus wants and figure out which wants you are going to eliminate. Don’t ignore little things – saving $3 a day by having coffee at home is about $100 a month or $1200/year, which is non-trivial to most people. You may find that it’s easier to cut little things and keep the big spending you really get a lot out of, like a monthly housecleaner. Or you may decide it’s easier to cut out one big expense and not worry about your daily indulgences. You can start small. So long as you’re living within your means and not in any consumer debt, I think cutting $100 a month or so from your spending might be a good place to start, with the goal of increasing it over time. I also find it helpful to reward myself with treats for hitting milestones, e.g. “When I have $25K in savings, I will allow myself to spend up to $250 on a new handbag.” Or give yourself a cheat day/week/month if you’re going through a really stressful time at work and need to outsource more than normal. That’s ok, and go easy on yourself. Just make sure you get back to good spending habits as soon as it’s over.

    2. I like the “shop your closet” approach! Take stock of the stuff you already have and re-discover/re-purpose it!

      1. How exactly does this work? I look at items and try to put them together with other things in my closet that I haven’t thought of?

        1. I was forced to bag up everything I own because of bedbugs (UGH – washed everything and then sealed for a month). It’s really forced me to see how I can do so much with so little. So I’d recommend taking everything out of your closet and drawers and only put back things you like and/or fit well. Get rid of the “just in case maybe one day” stuff. I got rid of so many things and I actually don’t miss a single item I’ve donated.

    3. Pay yourself first. Have money automatically transferred to your savings account on payday and only spend what’s left.

      1. This. The best way to save more money is to save more money. If you are currently saving X per paycheck, next paycheck save 1.25X or 1.5X.

        1. Automatic transfers plus a KonMari purge. I have always been neat and proactive about getting rid of stuff, but sinceI KonMari’d my house I have been more reluctant to buy more stuff because I am more thoughtful about what will really “spark joy,” and I don’t want to mess up my neat, pretty closets and cupboards.

          1. It also made me realize how many things I bought thinking they would add positive utility to my life but then didn’t.

          2. Yep. I had to move out of my house and in with Lovely Fiance for two months recently (long story and I’m back in my house now) and it was amazing how much I could do without.

    4. Separate bank accounts at separate banks, with auto-deposits to the savings account. For me, the account I use for savings is at a bank with no branches near me, and I don’t have a debit/ATM card/checkbook for it. If need be I can access that money within a few days but it would take a conscious effort. Increase the auto-deposit (I use one bank’s bill pay to simply mail a check to the other bank) to increase your savings, and don’t spend money that isn’t in the “spending” account.

      All of that said, I can’t think of a system you could create that you couldn’t also get around if you really wanted to. Ultimately, it will come down to discipline, but you can make it a bit easier on yourself as described above. It’s the same idea as not keeping junk food in the house: personally I find it a lot easier to resist buying doritos in the first place than I do to eat the whole bag at once if it’s in my pantry.

  21. Somebody stole my government credit card account and bought chocolates and a bunch of religious music. Not only am I pissed I have to sort this out, I wish they would have lived a little more.

    1. That person sounds so reserved that Iwonder if it was an error rather than intentional theft. Either way, I hope you’ll be able to laugh about it eventually?

    2. This made me LOL. Though, I’m sorry you have to deal with the headache of a compromised gov’t credit card. Of my fed friends, half don’t even bother with it because of all of the headaches with it during the best of times. I hope they are good to you in these crappy times.

  22. Just checking back in after my closet / update question from a month or so ago. I had good friend come over and help me go through what I had, pull out anything that was too worn / didn’t fit, and figured out wardrobe “holes.” Sent two big bags down to one of our local charities that provides interview / work clothes for those that need help. I kept some things one size smaller than I am now, being hopeful more baby weight will come off soon, but put those in a separate part of my closet (plenty of room, now!) to re-evaluate next year.

    I also checked out Senior Attorney’s rec for You Look Fab, and discovered the MM.LaFleur brand. I purchased 1 dress from there and loved it, and attended their pop up event in LA yesterday to try on different styles and see how the rest of their line fit. It was really fun!! I was able to pick up some great pieces that look like they will wear very well, and figured out how their styles fit me so I can order online in the future.

    It was a really good exercise, especially since my company has new GC who has brought in his Paralegal and his new “deputy” and they all came from BigLaw and dress accordingly. I felt some (probably imagined, internal) pressure to step it up and now I feel like I can do that. Well worth spending a little of my bonus money!

    2. Theyre a great brand. And when I’ve had issues they’ve stood behind their products (read good customer service staffed by interesting people I feel good supporting)

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