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I'm asking the moms over at CorporetteMoms how dinner parties and other social events have changed since having kids with a 7:00 (or earlier) bedtime — but we've never actually talked about dinner parties over here, and I thought it might be an interesting discussion. Ladies, I'd love to hear — do you throw dinner parties? How fancy do you get? Is it with a regular crew, or a rotating cast of friends? (Related question: How often do you have people — aside from those you are dating or related to — over for food or drinks at all?)
I may have read too much Vogue in my youth, but I always imagined my adult life would be filled with dinner parties — salons, really, darlingk — where all of my interesting friends would come, I would serve a fancy dinner, with the best china, and it would be known as a fabulous affair. (I am perhaps thinking of Beetlejuice also? Hmmn.) For a while after we got married, we had regular dinner dates with two other couples we knew through my old law firm, but they were certainly not overly fancy: there were neither placecards NOR evening gowns, let alone a multitude of forks and spoons. It was a slightly fancier dinner, perhaps, with candles and a nicer bottle of wine than what we usually drank — and we all had great fun. Then we all had kids, and one couple divorced, and… well… when we could find the time to all get a babysitter on the same night it just seemed better to meet at a restaurant.
Those of you who do throw dinner parties, what are your best tips? (Do you ever throw dinner parties for work purposes?) What's your level of fancy, and what do you think makes a good hostess? (Do you ever play reader-favorite board games, or do an Escape the Room or Wine & Murder game?)
Stock photo via Stencil.
LaurenB
No. I found the concept of throwing dinner parties completely at odds with the notion of having two parents with high-powered careers — my husband’s being a job that is 24/7 on call and mine requiring lots of international travel. That’s SAHM territory, to me. My mom did that, and did it well, but she didn’t work outside the home. I also did not engage in trying to get to know my children’s classmates’ parents beyond pleasantries, because I simply didn’t have time. I rarely have people over, beyond my family at holidays. I like my privacy and I’d rather just relax on the weekends and gear up for the week ahead. If I were to go out with friends, we’d meet at a casual restaurant. None of us finds anything more special about a dinner party at someone’s home that it’s worth going to the trouble.
Anon
+1 to all of this. We did throw dinner parties before we had kids, but post-kids the weekend just is not long enough to get everything together for a party AND do everything else that needs to be done for the week. Much easier to meet people at a restaurant. I also got sick of it because we would throw parties, everyone would come and have a great time and stay until 1 or 2 in the morning, and then they would never throw parties and invite us. It was like we became the designated party-givers and it gets old (and expensive) after awhile. We realized what we got out of throwing parties was not enough of a return to warrant what we were putting into it. So we stopped.
Sometimes I feel like we should be making more of an effort to make couple friends (most of our couple friends moved to other cities in the last few years, so we’re down to two couples we socialize with regularly) but I honestly don’t have the energy right now, and may never again. We have very little in common with the parents of our kids friends and they’re busy too. I have also figured out I am not a natural extrovert and by Friday night, the last thing I want to do is contemplate a weekend where I have lots more interpersonal engagement planned. I have to talk to people I don’t know well/don’t like very much all week at work; I would rather not do that in my personal time if I can avoid it. I do worry about what will happen down the line, when the kids leave home and if my husband passes away, but I figure I’ll have tons of time and motivation then to go out and make friends. More than I have now.
Ellen
Me too. I barley have time to buy prepared foods at Fairway or Whole Foods, bring it home, plop down in front of the TV and eat dinner. Why would I host others at a dinner party? I do host my mom and dad whenever they want to come into town, they stay over in my room and I sleep in the spare bedroom/office on the convertable sofa. I can’t wait to move to a 3BR, b/c then I will always stay in my bedroom, and have my office, and Dad and Mom will have their own bedroom. Dad has taken a big interest in a new construction on Madison Avenue near Madison Square Park, which is also not to far from my job. I haven’t made a decision b/c there are some grungy people who live in the East 20’s, and I would rather avoid them if at all possible, b/c one old guy pinched my tuchus one evening on Park Avenue South. FOOEY on him!
Anon
We have causal dinner parties. Nothing fancy, no table cards, and they are often potlucks. But I have a group of friends that will get together for dinner at one of our homes about once a month. I love the more causal evenings, where we don’t have to worry about monopolizing a table at a restaurant.
Anon
I really enjoy hosting. When I was single and lived close-in, I’d host something every couple months – Super Bowl, Memorial Day – July 4th – Labor Day cookouts, fall brunch, Thanksgiving (family and any friends who need a place), and a Christmas party.
Sadly, the house my husband had when we got married is in a far-flung suburb near no one, so I really only entertain once or twice a year anymore. I look forward to us moving in a couple years and being somewhere more connected to neighbors and colleagues.
I’m late 30s and I’ve been entertaining regularly for 13 years now.
– I learned early on that people would rather have tasty, approachable food – and lots of it – than fancy food and pretty decor. My two most successful parties ever involved ham biscuits and potato casserole for a brunch and homemade turkey pot pie for a fall dinner. Simple food and lots of it (and easy for me to execute!).
– Years ago, I got 20 place settings of plain white everyday dishes on clearance at Wal-Mart and use those when I entertain for regular occasions. (I try not to use paper products.) I have a big collection of china and crystal and silver, and I use it primarily at the holidays because it feels special.
– I change our house decor a bit for the seasons – a bowl of gourds for fall, blue and white pillows for summer, etc – but I don’t fool with party decorations. Maybe a flower arrangement.
– If I have someone visiting my house from another culture who is not a native English speaker, I’ll write menu cards in their native language.
– Always welcome people with a drink (alcoholic or otherwise) – people feel comfortable with something in their hand.
– I invite everybody and their brother. That’s how you make new friends! Neighbors, colleagues, college friends, church friends – smush em all together and watch them enjoy themselves!
Anon
These are excellent tips! You are clearly a great host.
Seafinch
Yes! Having one tonight! Though they are hardly fancy affairs but there are table linens etc and something mildly impressive to eat and wine. I am browning pork right now for a Pork Ragu with Pappardelle, served with rapini in lemon butter, and a Radicchio Orange salad with Almonds. Two working parents (though we are both not working this week), four kids. We frequently do dinner for friends, probably six times a year and do brunch for our friends with little kids at least another six times a year.
Maudie Atkinson
I love to throw dinner parties, and so does my beau. In fact, in lieu of going out for Valentine’s Day, a prospect that sounds truly terrible, we’re having 2 other couples over for a dinner party. I don’t have children, but there is little I love more than hosting people. Maybe it would be different if I did have children (/when I have children, God-willing), but I doubt it.
And perhaps one reason I love it is that I keep my expectations and therefore my burdens relatively low. While I like to make it a little fancy when I have time–nicer wine, thoughtful tablescape, more courses–more often I serve a sheet pan dinner and simple salad with store-bought ice cream for dessert. The fun of it, for me, is gathering my friends around a table, having a tangible way of caring for them, and really getting to dig into life together.
Tory
I started off with dinner parties featuring my attempts at new/fancy recipes in my late twenties, sometimes with a co-ed or all-women group of friends (where we usually ended up eating in the living room, where there was more seating, than at my small kitchen table) and sometimes with my then-partner and another couple (never more than 4 people, due to the aforementioned small table). In the last 8 years or so, that has evolved. I still throw dinner parties (often but not always with my new partner), but since dinner parties seem to be the auspice of weeknights and I usually work until about 6 PM, I focus on much simpler recipes and usually feature comfort food, since workdays ALWAYS FEEL SO LONG. TL;DR: I do dinner parties, but one-pot meals and my Instant Pot are my best friends on these occasions.
As to your question about entertaining in general, I have small groups of friends over quite often (say at least twice a month?) for drinks and bites. I have a circle of friends that rotates hosting “TV Night,” where we usually eat, drink, and watch a few episodes of something bingeable (Ms. Maisel, Killing Eve, GOT (RIP), etc.). Those are definitely low-key one-pot meal night or nights featuring a hearty cheese and charcuterie plate. In the summer I like to have cookouts, which are so easy and a great chance to invite a ton of people over and not spend a fortune. I do the simple burgers-and-dogs route, and buy a case or two of beer or hard seltzer. It’s not fancy, but it does keep me in the habit of entertaining! In the non-summer months, I may host one larger party, but I find big parties are much more work than when I can keep people mostly outside and more easily keep the cleanup to a minimum. Super-duper TL:DR: I love to entertain, but have learned to do it with as little effort as possible in my IDAF mid-to-late thirties.
Tory
*The should have said “my IDGAF mid-to-late thirties.” I do still GAF about spelling acronyms correctly, I guess.
Tory
*That
I’m batting 0.000 today.
nuqotw
Before kids I/we had people over for dinner, which totally counts as “throwing a dinner party” in my book.
Now we have kids and they have “throwing dinner parties” when the dinner is not to their liking.
Anonymous
ok this made me laugh
Anon
Haha!
Anon
Hahahaha
Anon Probate Atty
LOL.
Cat Mom
Sorry for the threadjack on a targeted post but I need some quick advice. I’m going to a wake tonight and funeral tomorrow for a former colleague. He passed away young at 38 leaving behind two young kids, 7 and 10. I’m friendly with his wife and good friends with some of his best friends. I moved away while his kids were really young though so they don’t know me at all. I realize is the first person I know personally who has passed away with young kids. Will the children be in the receiving line? What do I say to them? What is age appropriate? Do I shake hands? Give them a hug? Just say sorry for your loss???? Tell them that I worked with their dad and thought he was a wonderful person? I don’t have kids either so I have nothing to compare for their ages.
Senior Attorney
I doubt they will be in the receiving line but if they are, I would follow their lead. Maybe offer to shake hands, but definitely don’t hug bereaved kids you don’t know unless they hug you first. I think it would be great to say you worked with their dad and he was a wonderful person — maybe some very very short anecdote they might like: “I worked with him and we used to eat popcorn in the office on Fridays,” or whatever.
Senior Attorney
Oh, or “I worked with him when you were born and I still remember how he was so happy and excited!”
Cat Mom
Thank you. I’m leaving in an hour for the two hour drive to where I used to live for the wake and I realize this is my only chance for advice. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner! It should be a very busy wake so I should be able to follow the guidance of those before me – but those could end up being people that the kids know well. I appreciate it.
Anon
A nice, caring gesture when you’re not sure about a hug is a handshake + your other hand on their upper arm. Just make eye contact and say “I am so sorry for your loss” and move on.
anon
They might be in the receiving line. I was when my dad died (I was 7). Definitely tell them a short anecdote about their dad. Those are the most treasured. I wish I knew more about my dad and would love if more people told me about him! Also, I distinctly remember people treating me like I was too young to understand what was going on. Kids definitely understand. Try to keep that in mind in how you talk to them. Don’t worry so much about hugs or handshakes, although I would agree that I wouldn’t hug a child I don’t know. They may be overwhelmed by strangers (or distant aunts that feel like strangers to them) especially as so often the grief the adult feels in seeing someone die young with young kids is put onto the child in a really sorrowful interaction. It’s a lot of burden to put on a kid, so avoiding that is best. I’d also try not to ask them to many questions about themselves; make it easier for them by doing most of the talking. An example could be:
Hi, Jane and Jack, I’m Cat. You won’t remember me, but I worked with your dad years ago. I remember your dad had countdowns to when you were both born and I remember him sketching out your treehouse. Your dad was just wonderful and will be missed. I’m very sorry for your loss.
This may not be possible depending on your work, but shortly after my dad died, his long-time colleague gave me and my brother a copy of a book with an inscription in the front. It pointed out the chapters that my dad contributed and talked about how much he meant to the team personally and about his professional contributions. 20+ years later and I still have that and treasure it. If there is something like that you can do (though not to give in the receiving line), I bet those kids will treasure that as they grow up.
Cat Mom
Thank you!
Senior Attorney
Yes! We love to host dinner parties and in fact the year I was president of our Rotary club we had weekly dinners for eight — probably about 45 parties over the course of the year. We got REALLY good at it! My tips:
– We send the table linens out. I can’t be bothered to wash and iron tablecloths and napkins and the cleaners do a way better job.
– Each course is plated in the kitchen. Family-style passed food is an accident waiting to happen.
– I think it was Gordon Ramsay or maybe Jamie Oliver who suggested having everything ready to go half an hour before the appointed time, so you have time to relax and get a head start on cocktail hour. We seldom were able to pull that off but shooting for half an hour early meant we were seldom late.
– When guests arrive we have hors d’oeuvres (cheese plate, shrimp cocktail, mini meatballs, bacon-wrapped dates, whatever) set out and we usually have a special cocktail for the evening.
– We’re enthusiastic cooks so we like to have themed dinners like French or Moroccan or New Orleans or Southern Comfort Food or whatever. We warn people that we will experiment on them by trying new dishes and so far haven’t had any real disasters. And we like to print out menus because we’re silly that way.
– We like to invite a mix of people we know well and people we are just getting to know. It’s a great way to deepen friendships.
– I like to use my nice dishes and silverware, but everything goes in the dishwasher. (In our house wine glasses are a consumable!)
– I inquire about dietary limitations and try to plan a dinner that everybody can eat. Italian and Mexican are both great for vegetarians.
JHC
Love all of this!
Lilac
I love hosting. Though my friends have similar lifestyles to my husband and me, it’s easy when all couples are child free with the same dietary preferences. I would be less inclined to host friends who don’t share these things.
anon
We host fairly often, although calling them dinner parties sounds fancier than they really are. Getting together with friends, around a home-cooked meal, qualifies in my book. I also learned early on that it’s really about the gathering and the people. Have good food, of course, but it does not need to be fancy.
On a side note: I’m not sure I understand this whole Jameela Jamil controversy. So she was hired to host a dance competition show, people didn’t think she represented the LGBTQ community and that style of dance, collectively lost their minds, and then she decides to come out on Twitter? But specifically says in her note “keep your comments to yourself, I don’t want to talk about this?” Just … why come out, then, if you’re not ready? I don’t know why this strikes me as weird, but it does. I don’t think I’d have much of a reaction at all, other than “good for her!” if she came out at literally any other time.
Anonymous
It’s the “I have privilege and power” (so that I can best do this role as contest judge?) part of her statement that is most baffling to me.
Anon
I do throw dinner parties though not fancy. I just had one in January to bring together a group of friends while a friend who moved away was back in town.
I throw fewer now than I used to because of no-shows and last minute bailers, which I hate with the fire of a thousand suns.
If you tell me you’re coming and I cook all day, don’t bail last minute unless you’re in the hospital. Seriously.
Senior Attorney
Oh my goodness! We had only one no-show and just a handful of last-minute bailers in our year of weekly dinner parties and consider ourselves very fortunate indeed!
I seem to recall that once somebody wrote in to Miss Manners about how she had miscalendared and thus no-showed for a sit-down dinner at somebody’s home, and Miss Manners’s advice was to change her name and leave town because there was no coming back from such a horrible faux pas!
Anon
All I can say is things have changed since Miss Manners was widely read!
Mrs. Jones
OMG no-shows and last-minute cancellations are the WORST. Also people who just don’t respond to invitations.
Anon Probate Atty
I completely agree, but one caveat: if you’re using Evite, IME, all those invites go straight to spam and I never even see them. I’ve tried changing my email settings to no avail.
A.
I love hosting, cooking, and having people in my home but we’re a two-working-parent household with three kids so this probably happens once every six weeks or so (i.e. less often than I’d like). Both my spouse and I are in our late 30’s and have always loved hosting. Typically now, because there are so many more kids than there were in our 20’s, I go for more tried-and-true recipes (lasagna is a fave!) and we have a group of friends (five families in total) who are usually part of the mix. Our community has a tradition of bringing food, but honestly it’s more about company than cuisine. I fancy things up at Thanksgiving or other holiday-type events but otherwise it’s come as you are. I read a long time ago that if we all waited for our houses to be perfect/clean then no one would ever host! Rang true for me :)
SC
We host people pretty often, although we typically host small groups (4-6 adults, including us) and keep things pretty casual. We throw a larger party (12-20 people) probably once a year. We’ve been on a bit of a hiatus so far this year, but we hosted 4 different meals the week of Christmas.
– I always ask about dietary restrictions and allergies. Learned this the hard way when we made paella for someone who’s allergic to mussels. She did not eat it, but there was little she could eat, which I felt bad about.
– We typically use only dishes that can go in the dishwasher. We don’t use table linens.
– We try to accommodate kids’ nap schedules and bedtimes, which gets tricky when there are multiple kids of different ages.
– We often pick one recipe we want to try and then build around that. Sometimes there’s a theme–DH wanting to grill flank steak becomes a full Argentinian theme–and sometimes it’s just what’s seasonal and goes well together.
– Especially if it’s a weeknight, we’ll do a combination of homemade and store-bought foods. We had a Middle Eastern themed dinner a few weeks ago and bought pita, hummus, lebneh, and grape leaves, then made mujadara, a carrot salad, and chicken kebabs.
Anon
Yes! I love hosting. My boyfriend and I host a bigger gathering (6-30 people) at least once a month, and usually smaller gatherings randomly throughout the month. I’ve got one group that also regularly does a very casual hang, normally for breakfast on a weekend day, and a few other friends who like wine on the porch. I actually made a New Year’s resolution a few years ago that I would host a dinner party every month to show appreciation to all of my friends who had been so important to me along the way, and that was great fun.
We usually try to include people who might not necessarily know each other or see each other often because that usually makes for fun conversations. We have tons of dishes and serving vessels from estate sales that we set out. When I’m doing a dinner party myself, I always do a cheese plate and dips for cocktail hour, something easy (one pot or Instantpot) for dinner, then a simple dessert I bake myself. My boyfriend now typically cooks the main course, so I will either make two desserts or something that’s a little more impressive. If you’re kind of intimidated by the food, remember you can keep it very simple and not everything needs to be homemade! Your friends are coming because they like hanging out with you, and they will almost certainly enjoy whatever is served.
I agree with SA’s list above, except that we usually, though not always, do family style just because people tend to gather around the table and stay there longer when it’s family style.
Ellen
I would love to have the time to do what you do, but I would first have to be married and retired from my job. You do this with just a boyfreind? I take it he must be a long-term boyfreind who’s like a husband b/c most do not get involved in this unless they are already married, have low s-x drives, and have no other choice b/c their wifes would get very mad if they did not go along with being a party thrower.
anon
Speaking of dinner parties – y’all want to look at a condo for me that I could host dinner parties in? My lease is up in 8 weeks or so and I’m having to figure out what to do. I’m kind of over big apartment buildings and in one of my many hours-long searches through zillow, I found this place – https://www.sothebyshomes.com/houston/sales/1238778-1700-Main-Street-Unit-6A-Houston-TX-77002. Thoughts?
anon
Same anon – obviously their furniture would go. I think I would paint the whole place a cooler toned grey. I’d have to play with a bunch of samples but I think I could find the right one. I have lots of more modern art. it would be 3/4 empty at the beginning but hopefully I could fill it slowly.
Longtime Houstonian
I’d take a hard look at the homeowners’ association’s financial statements, making sure that there are sufficient reserves to cover major repairs and maintenance. It’s worth getting a CPA’s advice if you’re not a numbers person. Also make sure the building is current on any financial obligations. One of my clients lives in a River Oaks-area highrise condo in which the homeowners were sued individually when the building failed to pay contractors. By the way, I’m familiar with the Beaconsfield, have known past owners, and certainly think it’s worth considering although I know nothing about its financial condition. Good luck!
Anon
I think that looks like a great condo for hosting people. It has so much space! I would look at the HOA financial statements and reserves, and the HOA rules. Assuming you can afford the mortgage and HOA payments and that you like the apartment and the area, I didn’t see any red flags. Personally, I would need to paint and change the light fixtures. Some of the tile wasn’t to my taste, but you can decorate it in such a way as to make it look more modern.
Senior Attorney
+1 to all this.
Love those views!
Longtime Houstonian
One more thing: look at the rules regarding short-term rentals. Although I love renting vacation houses, I wouldn’t want to live in a building that permitted short-term rentals. Your building is close enough to the Toyota Center for it to be a potential issue.
Anon
It looks like a great entertaining space, although you’d have to paint and not use furniture to get rid of that “19th century library vibe”. For that price, though, you can buy a single family home in an actual neighborhood nearby and not have to deal with the lack of people downtown and the HOA.
Anonymous
That is a beautiful space. Two potential negatives that I see: it’s not clear which bathroom guests would use (I couldn’t figure out the floorplan), and the quaint push button light switches may mean all the wiring needs to be replaced to be brought up to code. But I would love to live or visit somewhere like that!
Shoe Ruiner
I love hosting. This is timely because I just decided this year that I should count hosting as a hobby. Can anyone recommend a good hosting blogs?
Senior Attorney
Not a blog but I love my Paprika 3 app for recipes and menus.
Anon
Nope, never. My parents didn’t either. I think I’m missing the hostess gene.
Anonymous
I’m a 40-year old lawyer, never married, no kids. I love to cook and to have people over, but what inevitably happens is this: I invite my male friends/colleagues from work over for dinner with their spouses. Somehow, despite the fact that the men are my actual friends, I end up stuck with the wives talking about babies and schools and things that I can’t relate to while my actual friends are in the other room talking about things I would be more interested in. Even though I’m “one of the guys” at work, as soon as we’re out of the office I’m suddenly relegated to the women’s realm. When I’m seeing someone, my boyfriend will get to hang with the guys and I’ll still be stuck in the kitchen discussing diaper bags and mothers-in-law. How would you handle this?
Anon
Stick to small groups and after work drinks. No more big dinner parties for the men with wives, maybe stick to one or two couples.
Anonymous
Hmm. IME, this type of gender division doesn’t typically happen unless there are a lot of old people at the gathering.
Anon2
What do you consider “old”? I’m 43, socialize with mid-30’s to mid-40’s couples with kids, and this is exactly the dynamic that happens. But I agree with Anon at 4:33. In small groups and there’s more cross-gender socializing. But then there’s the dynamic of the singles vs the couples, which I will not comment on.
Anon
Agreed. I’m mid-30s and have never had something like this happen unless their are lots of people who are 60+. But I could see it being regional, with that happening more in areas with a lot of SAHMs
Senior Attorney
I’m an Old and this doesn’t happen at our parties. But then we’re social friends and not work friends. Maybe that makes a difference.
Ellen
Easy. Tell your boyfreind that if he relegates you to the kitchen, you will simply point him to the kitchen when he wants to go to the bedroom, and beleive me he will get the hint when he has to hold his own. You can be one of the guys when you want, but you want him to want only you in every sense of the word when you turn down the lights at night. If he doesn’t get it, tell him to re-read this as he scratches his head. Men can be such doofuses!
Thursday finally
Ha ha ha ha. Lawyer, here. Straight male colleagues dump their non-lawyer wives on me at parties. Then I stop socializing with them. You need some new “friends.” Plenty of lawyers are not married. Try hanging out with the lawyers who are coupled with doctors and other lawyers. Gender segregated parties sound lame.
Anon
I love having people over for dinner! We do it on average 2-3 times a month. Late 30s with no kids, which makes everything easier. Most of those dinners are really casual with a regular crew of close friends, where we hang out around some cheese and charcuterie, then grill some meat, broil some asparagus, and roast some other vegetables. We do larger things a few times a year, sometimes themed. And then we host dinners/BBQs/brunches to celebrate things with friends like the holidays, an impending new baby, a new job, birthday, farewell, etc.
I also love going to other people’s places for food. I eat at restaurants a lot and there is something just really nice about eating with someone in their home.
In terms of tips, I try to have one relatively easy main dish (grilled meat, roasted or pan-seared seafood, meat in the Instant Pot), a couple vegetables, and then I lean heavily on Trader Joe’s for anything else. I would be interested to know what people’s dinner party go-to things to cook are.
Thursday finally
Oh, we throw down. My partner and I are both working professionals who love to cook and share meals with friends. We have friends who like to do the same. Our dinners are more along the lines of aperitif and sit down dinner with wine, dessert, after dinner drinks, coffee, pull out couch is available. Their dinners are more mid-Atlantic cuisine of the 18th century with gluten free recipes and alcohol free options. We do not do costumes, but we can dress up for the right party. We always bring nice hostess gifts. Please tell me you’all do the same thing.
Senior Attorney
Right, pretty much. People know to take a Lyft to our parties.
EuroMover
I love having people over and have decided that Alison Roman is my spirit guide and I refuse to call them dinner parties and stress myself out.I have peoplve over for brunch, lunch and dinner.. and sometimes apero!
For the most part, i cook what i feel like – often a combination of recipes i make often and some ‘ve not made in forever, but am reasonably confident about pulling off (c’mon, fun recipes are a pain to cook for 2 adults and a preschooler!)
CGJ
I would like to entertain more, but am intimidated by (1) people who have invited us over and provided such a feast that I feel like anything we provide would seem paltry in comparison, and (2) several friends are vegan, gluten-free, and/or avoiding carbs, etc. that it’s difficult to find a meal that would accommodate everyone. Also curious to survey whether readers have dinner parties with some sort of activity afterwards other than conversation.
techgirl
We host 2 bigger parties each year (summer and Christmas), and then host smaller things throughout the year. Games nights and cheese and wine nights are the most common.
For bigger parties I outsource some of the work with some pre-prepped food which I supplement with some homemade stuff. I avoid anything that needs cutlery, and an even split of hot and cold items. Back up food for the midnight nibbles when everyone’s had too much and needs levelling. I also make sure it’s really clear where the waste/recycling goes and find people naturally tidy behind them that way.
45mom
I used to have people over more, but now that our kids are getting older it’s easier. We host a couple of big BBQ’s each year, and maybe a few smaller parties. For Chinese New Year we had 2 other families over and made dumplings and it was a blast! People always offer to bring something, so I make sure to assign out salad or dessert or extra wine. With one of our BBQ’s we had like 50 people coming and were out of town the whole week before and lots of people offered to pick things up at the store.
Linens? Mix and match. Dishes? I have a couple of sets of china handed down from grandparents so we like to get it down and use it. We are also just as likely to do paper plates.
I am in the IDGAF stage Of life, so it is more common that a friend will invite us over, and I bring food and cook in their kitchen, or vice versa. Or we do the combo of take out and home cooking. Whatever works, man.