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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 149 Comments · by

Coffee Break: indigo by Clarks Wessex Wyvern Platform Pump

Coffee Break· Under $150

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

indigo by Clarks Wessex Wyvern Platform PumpMaybe it's just me, but I feel like professional-looking heels from Indigo by Clarks are getting harder and harder to find. Clarks in general have always been mentioned in The Corporette Guide to Comfortable Heels, but the Indigo line in particular has been a reader favorite. So I was psyched to see these simple platform pumps, on sale at Amazon. The heel is 3.25″ with a .5″ platform, which seems very walkable; there are also other nice details like a steel shank for support, ortholite to wick moisture, and a rubber sole to avoid slipping. It's available in five colors (including basic black) for $29-$120; the pictured purple suede pumps are $55 in all sizes (up to size 12). indigo by Clarks Wessex Wyvern Platform Pump (L-3)

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

  1. Anon

    Threadjack – quick question. If you were interviewing someone for a position in [yourcity], what would compelling answers be to “Why [YourCity]?

    I have an interview for a firm in [CertainCity] later in the week, and although I have family there (my mother grew up there), I don’t have strong ties. Saying that my mother is from there and I’ve visited a few times and loved it doesn’t really seem very strong.

    Can I tie it back to my (professional) interests and what the firm does, plus some of the City’s features? Would that be compelling enough? I would love to hear great answers to this question from folks who have been on the other side of the table.

    Thanks!!!

    • babyfine

      I live in a city big enough to have professional sports teams, but not a big fancy place where people tend to move unless they are from here or have children (we get a lot of NYC refugees b/c we have a lower cost of housing).

      “My family is here” is usually a winning answer and answers the question without inviting more. “My mother grew up here” is something that highlights that you aren’t from there and that your only connection to the city left (and a while ago, at that). It’s a bit like “tell me a time you failed.” The answer is not as terribly important as how you answer it.

      I grew up in a town too small to go back to if I wanted a job in my field, so I had to go somewhere. That’s not a winning story to get me hired in an actual place where the interviewer wants to know that I’m not flaky and that I’ll actually come and stay. I had a boyfriend in city A and when I intereviewed in city A, I didn’t say “my boyfriend is here” because it might look a little flaky (what if we break up). Instead, I said, “I’ve spent most of my weekends here for the past several years and have always seen myself living here after school. I’ve met a lot of people through [civic organization] and I’d like to be a part of it once I get settled here.” I would think of it as showing the interviewer that you’ve leaned in to the city.

      • Diana Barry

        +1. I would stop at “My family is here”. Always a good reason.

        Side note – I was always asked the question “Why city X” when moving *from* NYC, but firms in NYC never asked “Why NYC”. It was sort of unspoken that NYC was the center of the universe so of course you would want to be there.

        • new york associate

          That’s funny because when I interviewed in NYC, people definitely asked me, “Why NYC?” Maybe you looked more like a New Yorker than I did :)

    • hoola hoopa

      In my experience, the purpose of asking that question, aside from an ice breaker, is to determine whether or not a successful candidate will stick around. The employer may have experience with out of town hires either using the position as a stepping point to move (ie, get the job to relocate, but continue to job hunt and leave within a year or less) or – particularly if the Certain City has challenging weather or other characteristics that make it difficult for some transplants to acclimate physically, socially, or psychologically – out of town hires moving on quickly because they weren’t happy with the location.

      If that sounds right for Certain City, then I wouldn’t feel like your response is at all deficient, although I’d polish it. It shows that you have a social relationships that ties you to the area and that you’re familiar with the peculiarities of the place, be it weather, culture, etc. I’d talk about some of the activities you enjoy doing when you visit your mom, activities you’re looking forward to doing when you relocate, and perhaps a light-hearted joke about a well-known negative if you feel you can pull it off and that it won’t offend anyone (such as the weather… obviously not racial, religious, etc).

      Professional ties are certainly a plus, but I’d only say it if it’s genuine. It will obviously depend on why they are asking (and perhaps industry), but I woudn’t see it necessarily as a negative if it was absent from the response.

    • LH

      My 2 cents – if its a major metro area on one of the coasts, I think people in the city tend to sort of assume its desirable and don’t really probe candidates too deeply about their reasons for wanting to move to the city. I live in the bay area, and personally I wouldn’t ask “Why SF?” but if I did, I would be totally fine with a candidate talking about why my firm/practice area and then adding one or two things about how they also like the area. People in the Midwest (and certain parts of the coasts, notably Maine) tend to be a little more insular, and I think you need to demonstrate stronger connections. I’d definitely mention that you have family there and also talk about why you like the city.

      But I would absolutely NOT say “My family is here” if its just extended family. To me, that totally suggests that your parents live in the city and I think it would be weird if you said that in an interview and then accepted the job and then your coworkers asked about how your family and you had to explain its just Great Aunt Edna that lives in the city. “I have family here” is a better way of saying you have extended family. Subtle difference in wording, but to me, one is quite misleading and the other is true and a perfectly appropriate thing to say.

      • babyfine

        I don’t disagree — I think it’s highlighting the positive v. highlighting that your closest relative from there left a while ago. “My people are from here” is how we would say it. Maybe your father got drafted and the Navy sent you all over the world. But if you’re people are from here, you can move back (even if your people are all in the cemetary; actually, that would probably cement your claim to a place).

        I think it’s an easy weed-out for non-costal places. There are just so many applicants that you need to use something to winnow it down to a reasonable number and a flub here is an easy enough way to do that.

        Even if you’re not from a place and have no claim to it other than “I came here for my best friend’s wedding / industry conference / [random event] and fell in love with it over a long weekend and have been looking for openings here ever since,” it’s just another part of the interview where you need to sell them on you. [FWIW, I’ve seen someone from here botching it for being a little too “my people own this town.”]

    • Anonattorney

      Depends 100% on the city. This question is always asked in my city because (1) we’re not that big a city, so usually people are curious, (2) we have an inferiority complex so we need assurance and affirmation why people coming from other places want to be here, and (3) we’re worried that people will not stick around after a few years.

      My city also has a pretty insular legal community (not sure if you are in the legal field) so sometimes it’s just to feel out what sort of connections that person may have to the legal and business community.

  2. Skin Question

    TJ – I’m 30 and just recently developed what I think is mild roseacea. Never had it before. What do I do? Do I have to see a derm? Are there home treatments? TIA…

    • S in Chicago

      Near the skin ointments at Walgreens (aisle with insect bite stuff and allergy stuff as opposed to face products) you’ll find OTC roseacea cream. I find it really effective. Also, do some reading on common triggers. My skin has looked so much better after I stopped hanging out in the sauna room at my gym–I had no idea that could actually be bad for some people’s skin instead of making it better. Some foods can also aggravate. Since you haven’t had a problem in the past, it’s possible that simple lifestyle change can be enough to get you back to everything being normal again pretty quickly.

      • S in Chicago

        I did see a derm who recommended the OTC stuff, which is why I suggested as a first line if it hadn’t been a problem before. By all means see a doctor. Heck, people even react to mosquito bites differently. Just because a little pink lotion works for someone doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else out there who could be having an allergic reaction or be at risk for scarring. I suppose I shouldn’t have assumed every situation is as minor as mine was. Indeed, my life is not devoted to helping heal skin.

    • Anonymous

      Why wouldn’t you see a dermatologist? I don’t understand the reluctance to at least go see one. There are people who have devoted their lives to helping heal skin. Use them.

      • tesyaa

        If I had a condition that wasn’t serious and could be treated successfully OTC, I wouldn’t want to take time off from work. It’s not always easy to get a weekend or evening appointment.

        • Monday

          Let alone paying for the appointment and possible meds out of pocket, if you’re one of the many whose insurance would not cover this.

        • Anonymous

          Let alone paying for the appointment and possible meds out of pocket, if you’re one of the many whose insurance would not cover this.

        • Nati

          I think it’s ideal with rosacea to take a preventative instead of reactive approach. I put off seeing a dermatologist about mine for years thinking that I would be “wasting his/her time” with what I thought was a minor concern. By the time I took it seriously, I learned the expense of trying to reverse damage that could have probably been entirely prevented in the first place if I started treatment at the first signs.

      • Anon for this

        I agree. As someone with rosacea I made mine worse by trying OTC treatments. Irritating my skin even more could have left me with permanent damage. I encourage the OP to make an appointment and have the doctor confirm what it actually is.

      • dermatologist

        In my medium-sized city of 300,000 people the two dermatology practices are always scheduled about 6 months out. That is why I have been self-treating my warts for the last several months…

    • jc

      I also have rosacea that started out mildly, but then got worse over the years. I would see a derm if you can, you don’t have to use prescriptions and what not, but I’d say it’s a good idea to have a professional monitor it. There were lots of side effects and other complications I didn’t know about until I saw a derm.

    • Bonnie

      It’s worth seeing a dermatologist although it wasn’t much help to me. The prescription just didn’t help me. What did help was focusing on less irritating facial products, and more importantly, avoiding chemical sunscreens. Every few years I also get IPL which gets rid of the broken capillaries.

    • Nati

      Please see a dermatologist. Rosacea can start out really mild but generally worsens over time if left untreated. The damage it causes (thickened skin, broken capillaries, etc.) can be very expensive to treat once present, or worse, permanent. I have had amazing success on Oracea. Very affordable treatment options exist if you are paying out of pocket, though I’ll admit Oracea isn’t one of them.

  3. JCP

    Has anyone tried the work clothes at JC Penney? Not my typical cup of tea (I’ve never had much luck with mass market dept stores clothes as far as quality or fit and prefer to shop higher end items, even if on sale), but I started receiving JCP catalogs recently and was intrigued by some of the work clothes. Anyone familiar with these? What’s your experience?
    For example, a bunch of the catalog dresses are on sale for $39 and strike me as quite a useful basic, but I wonder what they’re actually like IRL. I don’t live near a JCP so I hesitate to just order if it means a ton of returns… For anyone interested, this is one of the ones that I’m considering… http://tinyurl.com/lnluqpa

    • Anonymous

      I’ve gotten stuff from the Worthington line before. I liked them and wore them quite a bit. I would say that the quality is acceptable, but not great. Also, they start to show wear more quickly. So…. expectations.

    • babyfine

      The write-up says that the dress accentuates curves, but I think it makes the model look hippy.

      People here seem to have loved the American Living stuff there.

    • JCP

      Incidentally, it comes with a matching jacket that is on sale for $49, if anyone needs an extra inexpensive suit. With code flowers, that’s another 15% off, or more if you buy more, so that’s about $75 for both pieces!

      http://tinyurl.com/mdkxkhx

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      I have a couple of jackets from there which I fine but I have ended up not wearing them much because I ended up not liking the colours so much, but they were cheap and fine and they don’t look it. However I also have a dress I bought there that I now never wear because it looks like it cost $15 (it doesn’t have a lining and the material is flimsy – what was I thinking?!). So you can find stuff depending on the ranges you go for.

    • Kontraktor

      I’d say quality is generally about the level of Kohls, with the exception of some pieces you can find occasionally in cottons/silks/natural fabrics. I really like the Joe Fresh line for simple, summery blouses that seem to look nice with cardigans for more casual days (that line also uses a lot of silk). Some of that line’s sheath dresses look like they would be nice with cardis or colored blazers for slightly less formal days. In terms of other things, I think they can be okay for mid-level quality basics. I am not sure I’d buy my best suit ever from here, but certainly colored shells, more trendy pieces (colored blouses or skirts), things like that. Some of my colleagues have had good luck with the Liz Claiborne line with the comment that the dresses are nice layering basics, often a little trendy, and not too expensive for fairly okay quality. I think like any other similar retailer (ex., Kohls, Target, etc.) you just have to find the key pieces that are the good balance between price and quality and trendiness. Some things will be cheap quality, some things will be overpriced, but some stuff will be that good balance and be worth it.

    • LizNYC

      I’ve bought stuff there that run the gamut: from jeans and casual shirts to athletic wear to more workwear appropriate (I work in a business casual, creative office — we can wear jeans, but need to look put together). I’d say it’s about the same as Kohl’s. I love the workout wear I’ve gotten from there, but nothing is especially high priced or wears like I’d imagine something from a better clothing store would. That said, I have a bunch of their basic layering camis and they are my absolute favorite. (FWIW, I’m a plus-size, so my options are limited when it comes to clothing.)

    • DCR

      You can find a good balance between price and quality. Personally, I would say it’s significantly better then Target and less than Kohl’s, but I might depend on your area.

      However, I think you may be disappointed. I’m not sure what you mean by you “prefer to shop higher end items.” If you mean big fashion brands, then you are not going to like it. If you mean more along the lines of Nordstrom, Macy, BR, AT, you might like the dress. I tend to shop those stores, and find JCP hit and miss. The major reason I don’t really shop JCP is that it’s just too much work to find the pieces I like that are of good quality.

      • LizNYC

        +1 I usually shop at Macy’s too, but I personally wouldn’t put JCP under Target (I have a love/hate relationship with their t-shirts — they look good for me for about 5 washes, then they’re a stretched out mess!). But I’ve found some decent work tops from JCP that I really like and ditto with Target dresses, which I live in during the summer.

  4. T

    Going to Dallas for the first time this week. Suggestions on things to do/see/eat?!

    • Anonymous

      The Dallas-FW metro area is very large geographically. Will you have a car? Where will you be staying and how far are you willing to drive? What kinds of things do you enjoy?

      • T

        Will have a rental car. Staying near Love Field. Looking for suggestions beyond the main museums. Especially interested in food recommendations!

        • Anonymous

          Pecan Lodge is the best BBQ, but the lines can be ridiculous, so Lockhart in Bishop Arts is a good alternative. Wherever you go, get brisket (not ribs).

          If you want burgers, IMO Twisted Root is not even in the top 10 and I can never figure out why people recommend it. If you go at lunch, Off Site Kitchen is probably the best pure burger, though lacks ambience. Maple & Motor also lacks ambience but is a great burger. Stackhouse is a decent burger with a great atmosphere (it’s an old house with views of downtown from upstairs, and it’s near the hospital so cute med students if you’re into that sort of thing :) ).

          My favorite non-fancy place to eat here other than Lockhart is Cane Rosso pizza. Ask if they have any off-menu pizzas–that’s where my favorite resides.

          Trinity Groves is a new incubator restaurant district on the other side of the Hunt Hill bridge. I haven’t been but have heard good things about Luck. If you look up TG you can see what else is over there.

          If you want people watching with Tex Mex on the side, Mi Cocina in Highland Park Village is your place. It’s not the best Tex Mex by any means but you’d mostly go for the people watching and the mambo taxis.

          As far as things to do, I think it’s possibly going to be cloudy/rainy this weekend. But if it’s nice when you’re here, you could check out Dallas Blooms at the Arboretum.

    • oil in houston

      will you be there over the weekend? if so, go to the Stockyard to see a rodeo, I have a great time each time!

  5. Women Lawyers News

    Following up on the marketing discussion recently, did people see the NAWL report earlier this week? Firms pointing to business development as a reason for lower numbers of female equity partners. We’ll link to report and discussion of the report in our weekly news coverage that comes out tomorrow morning, and our marketing resource should be ready soon. Just keeping everyone in the loop since it seemed like a popular discussion topic here and elsewhere, awesome ette is covering this topic. (Can check WLN tomorrow or join our email list to keep in the loop.) Happy Monday ladies!

  6. Anon

    I have a client who is really rude and dismissive to me but yet nice to my older male boss and said some rather disparaging and untrue things about me to my boss. And now I have to call him to confirm something I confirmed last week and I’m dreading it….

    • Ellen

      Hug’s to you. I can NOT tell you how many time’s I have dealt the same jerk at one of our older cleint’s who is freind’s with the manageing partner but does NOT like me b/c he think’s I am to forward for his taste’s, but he still like’s to stare at my tuchus when I get up to get a soda from the refregeratior. I think what you have to do when you are dealing with your jerk is to treat him profeassionally, and not to let on that you know that he is a jerk. You are alway’s free to smirk AFTER you leave your meeting. Make sure that you tell your boss that you know what he says is bad, and do NOT apreaciate him saying bad thing’s about you which are NOT true. FOOEY on looser’s like this one who do not treat us women with respect but who, at the same time, are the abosolute FIRST to stare at our boobie’s and tuchuse’s even tho they realy want to subjugate us just b/c we are women profesionals. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      Myrna has the same probelem at work. She is treated like a child by some of their cleint’s even tho she has a gradueate degree and is VERY smart. Just b/c she is female and cute, they think she is NOT professional enough for them and alway’s look to the guy’s for answers, even tho the guy’s work FOR Myrna. She is very ticked at more then a few cleint’s who just want to have drink’s with her and grab at her once they are drunk, then they forget all about it after they sober up the next day. TRIPEL FOOEY on men like this. They need to grow up!!!

  7. Anonymous

    To babyfine: JC Penney no longer does the American Living line…(which was designed by Ralph Lauren, well, not Ralph himself, I’m sure:-).

  8. Anonymous

    Is anyone else fascinated by what’s going on in Ukraine? I hope it ends peacefully. Putin always seems like such a bully

    • First Year Anon

      I wouldn’t say fascinated, it’s pretty horrific what’s going on. I too hope it ends soon, and peacefully.

      • Cb

        Really terrible. BBC coverage has been pretty light so I’ve been glued to Al Jazerra all evening.

    • Anonymous

      yes. we have friends who are living oversees there. very very worried. and following as much as possible. very concerned about outcome for the country and our friends.

      • Silvercurls

        I’ve been watching with more horror than fascination. It’s compelling but depressing: hasn’t anybody learned anything from past history about how NOT to settle disagreements? Or, better, how to avoid them in the first place? /rant over.
        My sources:
        NYTimes online
        NPR and BBC via radio
        occasional trips to CNN
        This list is idiosyncratic, not scholarly. It’s based on what fits into my life & logistics.
        Yeah, I sure hope things wind down without violence and/or expanding to include more people and geography.

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Yes, have been following but agree that horror is more the feeling than fascination. I’m from Finland so anything that involves Russia bulging its muscles freaks the h*** out of me. Have been reading on BBC, CNN, and also Russia Today out of interest.

    • Vera

      I heard about this. Is this something we should be concerned about? I have a cousin from the Ukraine.

    • Bonnie

      Terrified is a better word. I have family in Eastern Europe and am concerned about the future of the region.

  9. Tourist in NO

    Ladies, I have gone back to many old threads about where to eat, drink and stay in New Orleans and appreciate the great suggestions! Has anyone done any of the many biking/walking/food tasting/drink tasting tours in New Orleans? There are many listed among the top sights in NO on Trip Advisor — and they look like fun — but they are hard to distinguish among. TIA!

    • anon

      I did this one (http://noculinarytours.com/) and it was AMAZING. I loved every bit of it. We ate great food, heard about the influences on the food in the region, and walked through a bunch of the beautiful parts of the city. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

      Word to the wise: don’t eat beforehand. You will eat enough on the tour to last you days.

    • anon

      We didn’t do a culinary tour, but we did dinner tasting menus at two places. The one at Restaurant August was very well done and the wine was great. The one at Coquette was fine food-wise, but the servers didn’t do a great job describing the dish and why they picked the wine, etc.

    • Anon from Chicago

      We did the chef’s tasting menu with wine parings at Commander’s Palace last year. It was a bit pricy (not outrageous for the amount of food and style of restaurant) and it was amazing. Probably one of my top 5 meals ever. but seriously, dont eat first, and be prepared to get a little tipsy.

      Also, Nola is delish, as is Cochon.

  10. Anon

    Sad TJ – how can I support my mom while she deals with the unexpected death of the family dog? She is devastated and blames herself (the dog ran out from the backyard when my mom wasn’t watching, wandered far away – farther away than my mom looked or she would have expected the dog to go – and was hit by a car). This just happened this past Saturday, and I saw her yesterday to help take the dog to the vet, clean up the dog’s things, and make her some food. This dog was really my mom’s baby – we got her when us kids were mostly grown and almost out of the house – and after my parents’ nasty divorce my mom kept the dog. She’s been my mom’s constant companion for 12+ years, and now my mom’s alone in the house. But I live an hour away and I’m going to enter into a really busy time at work so it is unlikely that I’ll be able to spend much actual time with her. My siblings live far away, and my father is incapable of providing any emotional support. Any thoughts? I don’t want to overdo sympathy due to my anxiousness to make sure she’s okay.

    • TBK

      Oh, so sad! My dog running off and getting hit by a car is one of my biggest fears (that’s how Buddy Clinton died even with the Secret Service all around). Would she appreciate some kind of tribute to the dog — maybe a shadow box with a photo and a few of the dog’s smaller items (collar etc.)? Some people might find that comforting while some might find it to be too jarring. Something else that’s really not for everyone, but thought I’d mention it — I worked with a woman who was in similar circumstances and lost her dog (divorced, kids grown, dog died young). What she did was, after a couple of months, she went to the shelter and got a much older dog. The dog would never have been adopted and she knew she could give him a couple of years of good living before he died. She wasn’t ready for a brand new dog or a real bond with a new dog, but it was comforting to have him around the house. After he passed away about a year later, she felt ready for a new puppy. Again, that might just be harder for a lot of people (to get a dog you know will die soon) but she found it to be very healing to give this dog something sort of in her own dog’s honor.

    • anon for this

      I am so sorry to hear this! I have a slightly similar situation in that my mom has to put one of her cats down tomorrow who we found out last week has terminal cancer. (He’s only 8 years old) She blames herself because my Dad has been critically ill and so she feels she wasn’t attentive enough to the cats to notice that the one was seriously ill. And I also can’t be there much this week. I did two things 1- I gave her a subscription to Netflix so she will never run out of things to watch on TV and 2- I wrote a bunch of “thinking of you/ love you” cards this weekend so I can put one in the mail every few days so she will just get a nice “you are not alone” boost a few times a week.

      • Anon

        I’m so sorry that your mom is going through this! The cards sound like a wonderful idea. I mostly just want her to know that I’m thinking of her and that she’s not alone.

        And thank you to everyone else that responded! I think she is already experiencing some of those painful reminders about the empty house. My mom used to talk to the dog all the time (“let’s go into the kitchen now and pay some bills,” “let’s go upstairs and fold laundry!”), and the dog would follow my mom from room to room.

        She’s obviously not ready to get another dog, but I will keep in mind the fostering / adopting an older dog for the next few months.

        • Philanthropy Girl

          I think the idea of a shadowbox is sweet, but I can see how it would be upsetting for some people. What about a keepsake box? She can keep photos, sympathy cards, a collar, favorite toy in the keepsake box, and then pull them out when she feels they would be most soothing.

          I’m always a big fan of finding little things that might be soothing – a new mug with some relaxing teas, a bottle of good wine, some favorite candies, a bouquet of flowers. I think when someone is grieving the most important thing we can do is recognize that their feelings are painful and real, and give permission to grieve in whatever way brings healing.

    • Anonymous

      the unconditional love of a dog/pet cannot be matched. seriously. be there for her, expect her to grieve and be sad. we lost our first dog a few years ago, and we still get sad about it occasionally.

      honestly, the hardest, very hardest thing, for me was coming home to my empty house without my super excited dog there anymore.

      • Anonymous

        donation to a local rescue in your mom’s dogs name might be really touching for her (also I’d suggest one with an opportunity to go volunteer– that might be really helpful).

    • HTown

      So sorry. My husband and I (no kids) lost our dog of 10.5 yrs to cancer in 2012. So true about missing being greeted at the door. Also missed taking a dog for walks every day. Love the ideas about the NetFlix and the cards in the mail. What helped me most was fostering a couple of dogs for a local group. It helped so much to have a dog in the house again and to have something else to focus on other than our grief. They were both cute dogs the group knew would get adopted fast so there was no pressure on us to keep them for months and months. Many groups just need a temp home to keep the dogs out of boarding for a week or two.

    • Bonnie

      Hugs. When my parents lost a cat after 17 years, we adopted a cat for them. That seemed to be the only thing to distract them from the grief. Maybe drop a hint in a few weeks that there are many pups in need of love.

  11. Baby litigator

    Any recommendations on a Litigation primer that I can read to understand the basic nuts and bolts of what I need to be doing on a civil case? I am a relatively junior associate on a case with 2 partners. It’s just me, no other associate. We just served our answer to the Plaintiff’s complaint and were just served with requests for production and interrogatories. I’m looking for a book that can basically take me through the process of discovery, pre-trial and trial – everything that I need to know and think about. I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and the partners are nice but very hands off. Any ideas?

    • Silver

      Get thee to a treatise! Lexis or WL will have they key civ pro treatise for your state and federal courts as well – search secondary sources. You’ll likely want things that end in “practice or procedure” and there may be breakdowns for pre-trial civ pro as well as during trial/post. What jurisdiction is this for?

    • Edna

      Are you a member of the ABA? There are some excellent free resources available through the Young Lawyers’ Division website. I’ve also found some of the books they have available to be useful, although I don’t have any specific recommendations on a book that meets your requirements.

    • SW

      My state defense organization puts on a few boot camp style CLEs every year. I find them particularly helpful because they are state-specific.

      That ABA link is great – I bookmarked for future use. Thanks!

    • AnonInfinity

      Thomas Mauet wrote two books — Pretrial and Trial Techniques. We used both of them in law school, and I still refer to them (also a relatively new lawyer).

  12. Miz Swizz

    I haven’t found 3.75″ heels to be walkable in the last 2 years. I like the look of these shoes but they’re 100% impractical for my foot health. What height heels do y’all wear?

    • AIMS

      I have mostly been doing 2.5 -3 inches lately. Anything higher is either for special occasions or lives under my desk.

      As for these shoes, I think I may have ordered them or something similar from this line last year and I was very disappointed. They looked worn – very shoddy suede, and my heels fell out of them even though I don’t have particularly narrow feet at all.

    • Anon

      Flats, every day.

      I do own two pairs of black satin evening shoes with heels – Stuart Weitzman Poco (1 3/4 in heel) and Kate Spade Karolina. I wear them 2-3 times a year (total). I ONLY wear the Karolina if I’m wearing a floor length dress that requires heels (couldn’t be altered due to the style of hemline). Otherwise, the Poco.

    • zora

      I find Indigo’s are usually the right height for me, since these include a platform, the heel height is actually only 2.75″ But i have others from them that I am sure are lower. Born also has 2-2.5″ heels I like. And Ecco has the same shoes in a variety of heel heights which I also really like. All three ofthose brands work great tho for my long, narrow foot with high arches. Plenty of arch support and cushioning.

      Also, I feel like a big stacked heel gives me a little more flexibility in the height. I can’t wear any shoe with a narrow (regular) heel, I am too clumsy and fall down. ;oP

    • Baconpancakes

      I have basically this shoe in a bootie; and have been very pleased with it. The heel height is perfectly walkable with the hidden platform. My heel heights have been shrinking over the past three years, until 3″ is my limit for height for work shoes, when it used to be my norm. I just bought a pair of Cole Haan Chelsea Low Pumps with 2.5″ heel, no platform, and it’s pretty much perfect, but I try to wear flats at least once a week to work.

    • Liz

      I have a standing desk, so wearing heels is a painful reminder of exactly what heels do to my body! Flats (either flats or flat/low heel – like 1-1.5″ – boots) all day unless I have to go from business casual to business formal, in which case it’s off with the flats and on with the heels I keep under my desk. And those are around 2″. My backup heels are the $20 ones from Payless that people here raved about, and I think those are closer to 3″, so I only grab those if I see a scuff on the first pair or I don’t have to do a lot of walking between meetings.

  13. zora

    Just need to give myself a (slightly) anonymous pat on the back today. I got THREE job applications completed and out the door last night. Finally!!! I really really really need to get out of here, but I’ve had application-anxiety-block for a million years. So glad I finally pushed myself over that hump. Please cross your fingers for me!!

    • Fiona

      Congrats and fingers crossed for you!

      I’m in the same boat with the application-anxiety block…that can be a steep hill. I’ve talked myself out of more opportunities then I can count.

      • zora

        Thanks!! Good luck to you, too!!

        Honestly, it’s so bad. I don’t talk myself out of it, necessarily, I just find EVERY excuse to do something else, do dishes, reorganize my goodreads, watch tv, etc, All. Day. and All. Night. until it’s too late to do applications. And enough of those days go by and the positions are filled. And I’ve been doing that for like two years now. I am the worst. ;o)

        But I feel like I have some momentum now. MOAR TONIGHT!!!

    • Baconpancakes

      Good job! I need to do this as well, so I know exactly what you mean by the anxiety hump. I talked myself out of applying for what looked like a great fit for me last month, because I was too busy/tired/not experienced enough/not well connected enough/too expensive/too long out of school/not enough degrees/catching up with friends/spending time with my boyfriend/settling in my new roommate/really focusing on succeeding at my current position to have a great reference/trying to make the best of it/trying to stick it out/etc etc even though I really dislike my current job and company.

      • zora

        omg, do we have the SAME BRAIN!?! ;o) yeah, it’s really not easy. And then the more I put it off, the more angry I get at myself for putting it off. ack!

        Well, I believe in you, at some point you will make it past the block and you WILL send out an app!

        • Baconpancakes

          Thank you, Zora! I really appreciate the encouragement. We should be job application buddies. We’ll get amazing jobs and be rockstars.

          • zora

            we should be!!! I’ll keep reporting back if you do, too! And then when we both have new jobs we can go out for Bacon Pancakes!!!! this is the world’s most perfect plan.

    • Vera

      RAWRR! I am also so sick of my job and so need to make a break.

      Wouldn’t it be totally awesome if everyone quit their jobs on the same day, then just moved one job to the left or right the next day? We can only hope that our horrible bosses would lose their cookies (which they deserve to do) and respect us.

      But they wouldn’t, so all I can do is RAWRR!!!!

  14. Financial Question

    I’m sure this has been asked before but I don’t know how to search these threads so here it goes:

    My husband and I are both working with student debt. I work and make $160K and he makes $60K. We both have student loans that total to about $250K. My question is, is it best for us to try and pay off our loans as quickly as possible or to pay our minimum payments and save up money for a down payment on a house?

    Thank you in advance.

    • BankrAtty

      I have less debt and less income than you, but here’s my story: Spouse made ~$39k, I made $60k (all pre tax). I had $60k in loans; the minimum on my loans is $700/mo. For the two years I was clerking, we paid $1000-1200/mo and saved *at least* that much each month toward a down payment. Obviously, our expenses were low–partially because our rent was insanely cheap ($600/mo) and partially because we ate a lot of beans. After two years, we had saved $50k for a downpayment and felt good about the progress we had made toward paying off the loans. (Oh, and we bought a condo.) Now that our income has increased, we’ve doubled the amount toward the loans to $2250/mo and are on target to paying them off in a little more than 1.5 years (which will be 4 years post law school gradution).

    • DCR

      It really depends on your situation. Assuming your purchased, how would the mortgage payment compare to a rent payment for a similar place? Would you be renting a similar place or would you be able to rent something smaller that would be significantly cheaper? Are you committed to staying in your city for the long term? What are your work plans? It sounds like you may be a first year associate. If so, could you afford the mortgage payment and your student loan payments each month when/if you leave the firm? If you switch jobs, will you qualify for public interest (or other) loan repayment assistance? What interest rate are your student loans at? And I’m sure that others could add many more questions to consider.

      Personally, I decided to save for a down-payment instead of devoting all of my extra money to student loans. When I purchase, my monthly housing expense will be pretty comparable to what I pay in rent. I decided that I would prefer to delay paying off my student loans by a few years in order to buy a house, especially because it would take substantially longer to save for the downpayment once I leave a firm.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve opted for paying off loans for the moment. I’m just not comfortable at night with how much student loan debt I have, and since most of mine are at 7.9% financially I don’t think I can afford to add a mortgage to 100k loans.

      The way I see it, I can’t opt out of student loans at this point, but I can opt out of taking on additional debt.

    • Anonattorney

      Better to get your loans down to a manageable amount before saving for a down payment.

    • MK

      We are paying the loans off first, and are doing so on an accelerated schedule by paying down extra principal each month. I started off trying to save for a down payment, etc., but then was just so frustrated at how slowly the loan paydown was going, since at the end of the day, no matter what else I change in my life, those loans will be there. At this point, I have a good emergency fund, max out my 401(k), and then am putting all remaining savings each month to loans. When I’m done, I will have paid off $200k in loans in 6 years post-law school. I figure that once that happens, I will then be able to save each month the amount I have up til now been paying for loans, and it will quickly snowball into a good down payment without feeling like I’m spreading myself too thin.

      • Anon

        We did the same thing. We paid off over 200K in five years, a fair amount of that was fixed at 8.5%. At that point we were really sick of renting and at switched to paying almost equal amounts to loans and down payment savings. We now have about 30K left at very low interest and a 10K car loan

        I will also say–160K-sounds like you are a first year in big law. After 4 years I was laid off from my first firm and I can tell you it was a huge relief that I had paid off a large chunk of the debt. I stockpiled cash during my severance period and was incredibly lucky to have found another high paying job before that period was up, but it was a really scary few months and we would have been in serious trouble if I had not found a job and we still owned $2500/month. My husband also makes around 60K- in our high COLA, we needed my high salary at our original debt level. I ended up at another firm, but the fact that we had paid off such a high portion of the debt gave me a lot more flexibility to apply in-house/gov’t positions.

  15. MOB dresses

    I’m getting married and my mom is on the hunt for a mother of the bride dress. It’s been surprisingly difficult so far and I’ve exhausted my internet sleuthing skills. A few questions:

    (1) If you like vicarious shopping, she’s looking for something purple, teal or blue (not navy), full length, and with some kind of sleeve or neckline that covers her upper arms, and doesn’t have a deep v. She wears a size 14/16. She’s self conscious about her stomach, so she doesn’t want something too clingy.

    (2) What did your mothers wear to your wedding, were they happy with it (and why/why not), and where did they buy it? Bonus for recommendations the NY metro area.

  16. Jessica Glitter

    TJ – Help me shop!
    I will be attending a black tie event in June…8 months pregnant…I live in Texas so it is guaranteed to be quite warm at that point. I have seen a few rent the runway maternity sites, does anyone have any experience with those?
    If not, any relatively inexpensive options that won’t make me look ridiculous (since I am not sure how to contact either Olivia Wilde or Kerry Washington to borrow one of their gowns… ;)

  17. Tara

    Really no matter if someone doesn’t know then its up to other visitors that they will help, so here it occurs.

  18. online bridesmaid dresses

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