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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 181 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Elbow Sleeve Pieced Yoke Top

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Lands' End Elbow Sleeve Pieced Yoke Top | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I love the look of this ballet-sleeved t-shirt from Lands' End. Their shirts were one of the top choices in our last roundup of work-appropriate t-shirts for their quality, comfort, and weight, and this one looks like a great, slightly-special option to wear with some nice jewelry (a brooch, a long necklace, or even a heavier/statement necklace that hits at clavicle length). It's $30 full price at Lands' End, available in three colors in regular and plus-sizes (the latter for $35). Lands' End 60/40 Blend Elbow Sleeve Pieced Yoke Top Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected].

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Comments

  1. Red Beagle

    I like this a lot, particularly in the purple pictured here. And LE has a 20 percent off on your whole order coupon code – FALLBREEZE and pin 1755. The shirts won’t ship until October 19, though.
    My only concern would be bra straps showing in the boat neck.

    • Scully

      I really like this too. I think it would look great tucked into a pencil skirt.

    • Anon

      Just FYI: I have a cardigan in the purple, loganberry color. In real life, the color is not as dark as it appears in the picture. It’s almost like a dusty purple.

    • Erisa

      Feel like I have this problem with a lot of shirts. Anyone ever tried sewing strap guides in? I have a dress with them (little strings with snaps attached to shirt/dress) and they seem simple enough.

      • Samantha

        I’m not that handy with needle and thread, but I’ve had a tailor do it with good results. I do hate boat necks for this reason though.

      • Em

        Fashion tape is another option. Either tape the bra straps to the shirt or tape the straps to your shoulders.

      • V250

        I occasionally make them. You need snaps or hooks as well. Look up “daisy chain”instructions in a text or online. You make a chain long enough and attach the hook or snap at the end of the chain and sew the matching piece to the dress. If I had time and the patience I’d do every top and dress I own–my bra straps are always sliding. I have a clear silicone set of cushioned strap holders I use, but they’d show with this shirt.

      • hoola hoopa

        Good idea. I love boatnecks and love this top, but I have narrow shoulders and they often are far too wide. This could be a great solution!

  2. Serafina

    TJ: Vicarious shopping help please!

    I’m going to a wedding in a week and realized that my (green) dress clashes with my SO (light purple shirt, purple and grey tie, grey suit).

    The wedding is a formal late afternoon event, with the reception going into the evening. I’m looking for a knee-length dress, though I’m 5’2″ so need something in a petite size or that is on the short side for the model. I was thinking of a dress in blue or a maroon/crimson, though I’d be open to any color that doesn’t clash in purple. I also prefer fit and flare styles to sheath ones, and I’m hoping to go for under $200.

    Suggestions? Thanks in advance!

  3. Bewitched

    FYI, Anne Klein (online) has 50% off suiting today, no code needed. Limited styles only though. Free shipping for orders $50 and up. Some cute sheaths etc. I don’t know quality of their suits but I have a dress and sweater from them that have held up very well.

    • TXLawyer

      Wow, +1 on identifying with the writer. Polly’s response is so spot on it makes me uncomfortable.

      • Ellen

        Yay! Freugal Friday’s! I love fruegel Friday’s and these shirt’s. I would also wear them with pencil skirt’s!

        As for the OP, and the NY Magazine female attorney, in many way’s, we can all relate. Yes, we are all profesionals, but the stress of being a big city lawyer often makes even ME want to say I want to get married and have babie’s sometimes, particularley when I have many breif’s to write and argue before the court all by myself. FOOEY! I have NO support structure. The manageing partner delegates 100% to me, rareley review’s my breif’s and send’s Mason with me to carry my LIT Bag! He is useless b/c he onley like’s to have sex with Lynn and do as littel work as possibel. TRIPEL FOOEY!

        My dad says I should be married already, and I would be but all the guy’s either are drunk’s or onley want me for sex. Even the manageing partner’s brother, who swear’s it could be different for him with me, is alway’s looking at other women’s TUCHUSES, and telling me how svelte they are. I have my own tuchus to attend to and do NOT care about Maria Shaparova’s tuchus. She makes alot more money then me and probabley has a personal trainer to keep her in shape.

        So HUGs to the woman in NY Magazine, and I hope her boyfreind turns out to be better then the loosers that keep trying to make me have sex with them. I want a guy like Brad Pit, even if he has short hair. I want to live in the Hamton’s and take care of our kid’s. But for now, I must work b/c there is no such guy on the HORIZEN. The key, tho, is NOT to mope around, but to get out there because all of our Prince Charming’s could be right around the next Block. And in NYC, there are alot of guys, and all I need is for ONE decent one to MARRY me! YAY!!!!!!

    • Sydney Bristow

      I really identify with her too (minus the babies). I actually had to stop reading the response right now because it made me uncomfortable. I’ll go back and finish it this weekend. Thanks for sharing.

    • Baconpancakes

      Oh god, I’m not even a lawyer, and this is STILL plucking at my sense of self to leave me quivering. What do we actually want? What would me US happy? I’m in the same age range as the writer, and I feel like I’m just starting to ask myself these questions.

      • January

        Yes, I think Polly/Heather and/or her letter writers have gotten into my head, somehow, because her column last week killed it, too.

        • Baconpancakes

          JEEBUS I just read last week’s and almost jumped out of my skin.

          Is this one of those fortune cookie things? Everyone can see themselves in every letter because every woman sees themselves that way? Or are we all just actually like that? Or is it just us, here?

          • Anon for this

            The friendship one was spot on too – “The world is not filled with favorite uncles dropping by packed birthday parties. A lot of people are all alone.” Yeah. Not sure if it is just us, or maybe we are just more aware and willing to talk about it?

      • Red Beagle

        I’m older than the LW and Polly, and the raw honesty of both the letter and the response made me squirm – in a good way – even though those days are (mostly) behind me. I love the way she gets at the root of the matter.

        • Senior Attorney

          Yep.

          I will say, though, from the viewpoint of someone who is probably twice as old as the letter writer and most of you, that if you can hang in there for a while, it does get better and options do open up and you can make a good life if you can manage to keep your financial overhead reasonable.

          The worst, the very very worst worst worst thing you can do is get used to that big salary and set up a very expensive lifestyle that requires the big salary to support it. That will dramatically limit your options like nothing else.

          In the meantime, Polly gives great advice and I have nothing to add other than that one of the options may be to hang in there and get some therapy and maybe it will turn out that being a lawyer doesn’t suck quite as bad as it seems in the early years.

      • Aline

        I could join this club also. I have been working my tail off to support my boyfriend, who lost his job, and now just sits around the house waiting for someone to call and hire him. That is not going to happen, and he says he is not interested in companies that don’t want to look at him. I told him that he has to get out there because he was not top of the class and has no real decent work experience. He is willing to sit back and let me work. I pay for his insurance (he is not eligible for unemployment) and feed him, and at times I am glad we are not married because unless he shapes up, I am going to tell him to leave. This is quite unnerving at times. My question to the ‘rettes is: What would you do in my place? Keep him or tell him to leave. He is not that romantic any more, I guess because of his situation.

        • Anne Shirley

          Tell him to get out! How is this even a question? He’s lazy entitled and selfish. Don’t waste any more time on him and stop throwing your money away. Don’t you have loans/retirement savings /a shoe habit that would be a better use for your funds?

          • Em

            Agreed. It would be different if he was actively searching, or even actively contributing to the household/relationship, but he sounds more like a child/obligation than a partner.

        • Carrie

          He could also be depressed, which is paralyzing him. Many in his situation get very demoralized…

          You know him better than we do, but in this case, trust your gut. Time for a sit down discussion. Honest, brutal, but supportive and see where the chips fall…

        • Ella

          I’d sit him down and tell him that here’s what I need from you in order to keep this relationship going: active job search in your field, volunteer work during the day and housekeeping (or whatever matters to you). See how he takes that and really listen to what he says. Yikes – it is a bad situation though.

    • anon

      Side note, I’m reading the linked article (in the comments) about ADD/ ADHD in women right now and its hitting home in ways I really don’t want to analyze right now… :/

      • Becky

        This I can speak to. I read that article a while back and it hit too close to home for me too. It took more willpower and prodding from SO than I’d like to admit, but I made an appointment with my GP who referred me to a psychiatrist. Turns out I don’t actually meet the guidelines to diagnose ADHD, but I come pretty close. Link to follow for the book I’m working through right now that was recommended by the psych. If you’re concerned about ADHD, please make an appointment. Not all treatments are medications if you don’t want to go that way.

        • anon

          Thanks- I’ll check this out :) I fit a lot of the descriptors, including constant mild anxiety and depression without an identifiable source throughout much of my life, and always feeling like my head is barely above water. And yet, I’m smart and generally quite successful. I’m one of the many of us on this board who knows she’d benefit from therapy, has in fact gone in the past and wants to go again, but keeps it at the bottom of her disorganized priority list because she’s bad at self-care. Oops.

        • Blonde Lawyer

          I’m on adhd medication but have struggled to find non medication resources. I will check out your book.

        • Moonstone

          When I chose my therapist, I looked for someone who worked with ADHD. It was very interesting to work with her because she made me realize that you don’t have to have an ADHD diagnosis to learn some good strategies. Also — and this might be relevant to people on this board — she made me face the fact that I was not getting enough sleep and that was affecting my focus.

    • Terrified anonymous

      Holy mother of God, this is dead on and it’s terrifying. Glad to know I’m not the only one.

      • Baconpancakes

        I think most of the women who frequent this blog probably recognize this in themselves. You’re definitely not alone.

    • RR

      “I can’t be an indentured servant to our future when I’m dying inside every goddamn day of my life.”

      That about sums it up.

    • Anon

      Wow, I must’ve written this letter in my sleep because I’m certain that I’m the letter writer. The part that really struck a chord is the bit about being smart but lazy, and Polly’s explanation that it isn’t that I’m lazy, but that I’m doing things that I don’t want to be doing.

    • Anon for this

      Scary how spot on this is. It seems like a lot of us are feeling this way though, which makes me wonder if anyone actually has it “all figured out” or if we’re all just faking it/pleasing others? Anyone want to chime in and say they do?

      • Alanna of Trebond

        This series of posts made me think something — are women allowed to say that they have it all together and feel great about their life? Because it seems to me that an attitude like that is considered obnoxious (especially by other women) — the usual response that I see is that that person must be hopelessly naive and it is only a matter of time before life takes them down a notch.

    • Anon

      This was me, to a fault, 3 months ago. I finally just started applying for jobs – anything and everything for which I might be qualified. I looked long and hard at our budget and figured out how much of a pay cut I could handle, considering I am the breadwinner, and made a conscious decision that being happy in my job was more important than having the shiny “attorney” title at a big law firm. And after applying for about 35 jobs in 2 months, I got an interview for a position in a legal department of a corporation (technically not even an attorney position). I got really lucky that they offered to match my current salary. So now I am in an 8-5 job in an industry that I was surprised to find I loved with coworkers who are amazing and a boss who I truly respect and like (a complete 180 from my last job). I am still doing legal work (just work that I find interesting and challenging) and am still being recognized as an attorney. At the end of the first week at this job I actually cried because I was so happy and could not believe this was my life.

      I am in no way trying to rub my awesome job in anyone’s face. I just want people to know that there is hope and there are jobs out there that will make you happy – just take the first step and apply and then do it again and again and again. My heart breaks for anyone in this situation because I was there just months ago and I know how soul crushing it is but it doesn’t have to be that way forever.

      • First Year Anon

        Impressive. Great story.

        I really enjoy my job (lawyer as well) now but I do think there will be a time in the next few years that I will want to make a switch to something less traditional. Glad to know it’s possible.

      • Sydney Bristow

        Thank you for sharing your story. My fiancé and I have started talking about me doing something similar I’m just not even sure what I want to do. But I need to start exploring.

        • Red Beagle

          I have a different example to share, though late to the thread. About 11 years ago, my brother, a business owner in Canada in his late 30’s, met a woman from NYC on a vacation in the Caribbean. They started a long-distance relationship and fell in love. In hindsight, we’d just lost our father to cancer a few months before that and he was still reeling from that, not in a good place for a new relationship, but anyhoo… They fell in love and were married about a year later after maintaining a steamy long distance engagement. When they met, she was an attorney, working I believe in BigLaw. She was burned out and decided to change her career path 180 and became a social worker. He shut down his business and moved to Manhattan. She got a government job. A few years later the stress of public sector social work became unbearable for her and it was a ripple effect – she got ill, had accidents, her personality changed. She wasn’t the same person he married (and to be fair, nor was he, as he left a home and business and family in Canada to come to her city to look for a 9-5 job in a tanked job market (right after 9-11) and was demoralized by this.) The marriage crumbled and failed.
          So, if TL;dr — the grass isn’t always greener in a different field of work than law – every career has it’s own potential soul-sucking issues.

      • Weekend Winter Shoes

        Just wanted to add on to this story. I was the letter writer one year ago. I also sat down, and husband and I took a hard, hard look at finances and figured out how much we could cut. I ended up finding an in-house position where I only work 25 hours a week. I have time for my babies, my husband and myself, and really enjoy my job. It’s not necessarily what I envisioned doing, but I truly feel fulfilled.

        The biggest jump to me from the letter writer was that she feels like she needs to keep her law job b/c it will be necessary for the FUTURE life she wants with her significant other. Why not start scaling back now – she’s miserable today b/c she’s making sure she’s lined up to fund a life she doesn’t even have – all burden – no benefit!

        The best advice I received just out of law school was not to get attached to the salary. We paid off school loans, etc., but we weren’t subsidizing some huge lifestyle that made the cut-backs impossible. We go out a whole lot less now, travel less, and yeah, I’d love to contribute more to retirement/savings at the moment, but I’ve also never been happier. Also, the cushion we built for ourselves when I was bringing in more money will push us through the lean years.

      • Clementine

        Yeah, the letter writer is me on my ‘other path’. I had the existential freak-out crisis early- college selection time and then shocked my family after graduation (who was sure I would go to law or medical school) by choosing another path.

        I am lucky to love my job most days, in large part because I feel I am doing important, fulfilling work that helps the world around me. Some days, I feel like I am one of Satan’s minions (government), but usually I can put that aside.

        The other side of this coin though, is the nagging worry that I’m not being ambitious enough. I see the lawyers, the doctors, and think- I could have done that, would I be happier? I still am not sure.

    • Meg Murry

      This is the part that hit home for me: “None of us are above comfort and shiny things. Don’t f***ing believe them if they say they are, unless they’re sitting in a drafty cave somewhere meditating.”

      There are so many people in my life that have these lofty opinions about how working hard for shiny things is so bourgeois, and they just don’t understand how anyone can stand to work so hard for “the man” just so they can have shiny things. Um, those of us that like to eat and have roofs over our heads. I notice these same people don’t seem to mind other people paying to keep a roof over their head so that they can spend their own money on different shiny things than I would buy. How is my shiny thing (paid for after I paid for said roof and food) different from your shiny thing that you bought after mommy and daddy paid to keep that roof over your head?

      I think life would be much easier if a lot of people admitted they work to keep roofs over their heads and buy shiny things, not because they actually love their job. The only people I know who actually love their jobs work very low paying jobs and have spouses that are keeping the roof over their heads and the lights on.

      • Em

        This! I think the notion that everyone should be passionate about their job is a huge lie that has been sold to the past few generations. I enjoy my job but I will never be passionate about it and that’s ok! I explore my passions in other ways and honestly don’t think I’d enjoy trying to turn my passions into a job.

        Everyone has to figure out what makes them happy, and for many of us it’s a career that they enjoy or even tolerate, but gives us the time and/or money to do what we love or buy shiny things.

        • mascot

          +1000. Most days I actually like my job- it’s interesting and I like who I work with. On the rough days, what keeps me going is the salary that pays for shiny things and a roof over my head.

    • Anond

      “You were big and bright and raw and sensitive and sweet and you used to admit what you didn’t know, easily, without fear, and you know what happened? The world beat that shit out of you.”
      I remember the very day this happened to me.
      Thanks for sharing this piece.

    • Anond

      “You were big and bright and raw and sensitive and sweet and you used to admit what you didn’t know, easily, without fear, and you know what happened? The world beat that shit out of you.”
      I remember the very day this happened to me.
      Thanks for sharing this piece.

    • Anonski

      Ugh this made my heart hurt, for me and the letter writer. I am older than the writer and further into my career, but I went through this a few years and knew I had to change something, so I left my BigCorp job and took a less demanding job in my same field. I looked around and didn’t know what else I wanted to do, had no other burning desires to do something else, and figured after all the years I put into this field I should at least use that experience, and I knew I could still make decent money. I am now about a year into my new, less demanding, much less paying job.

      It is SO HARD for me transitioning to this less stressful, but less recognition and less money job. I think part of it is my Type A personality that makes it hard for me to just be okay with a job that is not as “impressive” in every way. I love my work life balance, and I am trying to focus on my life outside of this job now that I actually have time for a life outside of work. But I read somewhere that work life balance feels like boredom to a Type A personality, and I can attest to that. Half the time I don’t even know what to do with my free time, so I basically just waste it.

      But actually living on less money is so hard, and I have had to make some depressing and hard decisions as to how to live on my new salary. I worry about money all the time, because I am not saving like I used to, I won’t be able to give my kids a lot of choices for college, I can’t save as much for retirement, and I miss having a lot of disposable income.

      I just keep hoping that this will all get better and easier.

    • anon for this

      I will say that I cycle from sometimes feeling like this, to being 100% satisfied with what I do. I can’t really speak to getting paid gravy money to set up a life of comfort/to which I am accustomed, because SO and I used to struggle to pay bills, simply because we don’t earn a lot, and we had a lot of medical sh!t happen in the past few years. That being said, we’re also pretty poor managers of money, but that’s not the point of where I’m going. We still make modest money, just enough to feel sad that wild-caught salmon is just out of reach (not so little that it’s a pipe dream, not so much that we can enjoy it frequently).

      I have no idea what led me to the career path that I chose. I have no idea, now, why I chose the major in college that I did. But I did, and here I am. I spent the last two years of my undergraduate getting pretty excited about the possibilities with my degree, but disappointed and discouraged at the same time, knowing that jobs that lined up with my passion were few and far between. In fact, (though I haven’t been actively looking), I have yet to see a job that aligns 100% with what I had hoped to do, all those years ago. But, there were related paths that I could choose with my degree, and so I chose that route. I worked 4 different jobs in the same field, never really liking any one of them. They were not at all what I wanted to do. I felt trapped, and I felt that the work that I did was meaningless. But I could see no way out of it at the time.

      I was laid off from one of those nowhere jobs a few years ago. During my unemployment, I was able to do a lot of soul searching, and trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I worked in a florist shop for a while. Was it fun? Indeed. But it wouldn’t come close to paying the bills, and I wouldn’t have been able to sustain it long. I had put together my package to apply for a new degree. I was thisclose to submitting it to the school, when an ad for my current job was posted.

      When I interviewed for this job, I had no idea what to expect as far as what the job would really entail. Come to find out, the part of my job that I had no idea about became the thing that I enjoy the most. I was able to look back at my trajectory in college, and to think about what it was that I wanted then. What was it about that career path that was appealing to me. I realized that, without being The Exact Job, this was a worthy substitute, and perhaps would be more meaningful and applicable, more rewarding than what I thought I wanted.

      I do relate with the author, though–I am often lazy, stuff slips by, and sometimes I just don’t care. Maybe I do have them wowed by my skill and competence at my job, but when it all comes out, I really do love what I do. I SHOULD be better about putting forth the effort, but thus far, what I have been providing, is enough. For the time being, I am ok with this. Things are not competitive where I am, and I don’t have any real reason to leave, nor do I see being asked to leave as a possibility (for a variety of reasons, not just rose-colored glasses). I think that if there were more opportunities for me to excel vertically where I am, then you bet I will put my game face on more often. But until then, I can still be satisfied (truly, honestly) about doing my job, doing it WELL, and finding fulfillment in my career.

      Will I ever think about going down that totally unrelated career-degree path? Maybe, but not until we can afford to live on one salary while I go to school. I joke that is what I want to do “when I grow up” but the likelihood of it happening are slim. I will always keep that eventuality in the back of my mind, sort of a “maybe…what if?” but I can also say with certainty that if I never take that path, I won’t have failed myself as a professional.

    • viv

      I’m having a hard time getting through this article. The letter writer is so superficial and whiny and then Polly seems to think RESPONDING IN ALL CAPS and saying “fucking” over and over will help her make her point… I’m kind of surprised you all identify with this so closely. I don’t identify with the letter writer at all. I do work hard. I pay attention to details and try to make my clients happy day in and day out. I care a lot. What I don’t care about is intimidating other people and impressing others.

  5. Miss Behaved

    Speaking of Land’s End tee shirts, I’m hooked on this one:
    http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-short-sleeve-slub-jersey-print-art-tee/id_265389

    I own it in both the butterfly and evening sky prints and got the sailboat print for my mother. The prints I have look great dressed down with jeans or khakis – I’m wearing the butterfly print with khaki capris today – or dressed up with skirts. I’ve worn both with “the skirt.” And it’s a great buy for $14.99

  6. Anon

    I want to send a big box of baby stuff across the country to my sister, but it seem so expensive for stuff that isn’t even that pricey to begin with. It would be a shame for them to buy all new stuff when I have it sitting around, but it might be the better course. Any advice on shipping up to 3 boxes economically? There’s no rush at all.

      • Aggie

        Seriously Greyhound. You can ship 100 pounds for around $125. It takes a few days and a little bit of logistical work (you drop off at a specific location and it is delivered at a set location.)

    • Sundae Funday

      I like the USPS flat rate boxes (although sounds like you might size out of them).

    • TXLawyer

      I know this might sound crazy, but if you or another family member is flying there sometime soon, you might travel with it as checked luggage? We do this at Christmas when the $25 to check gifts (or free with some travel rewards cards) is cheaper than shipping for large boxes.

    • tesyaa

      Donate the stuff to Goodwill or similar, take a tax deduction (if applicable) and put it towards her buying new stuff. As you say, a lot of baby stuff is inexpensive in the first place.

      • Anonymous

        It seems so wasteful to do this. And it perpetuates the cheap clothes for cheap labor cycle. There are real people in other countries that make pennies to sew these clothes.

        My family and I often ship clothes back and forth. The flat rate boxes work and I think there’s an even cheaper, slower postal option.

        • tesyaa

          I think it depends what the items are. A lot of baby clothes are not in great condition after being used for a baby or two. Some things in good condition, or items that were costly in the first place, might be worth shipping. And donating to Goodwill, or to a women’s shelter, is not necessarily wasting. There are plenty of needy people out there.

    • Bonnie

      USPS is the cheapest way to send big things. They take into account weight and package size, so try to pack the boxes tightly.

      • Red Beagle

        This. You can buy 2-gallon ziplock bags, pack clothes into them tightly, then close nearly all the way before squeezing the rest of the air out and sealing. Do it yourself space bags. Then pack as many as you can into a USPS flat rate box. I shipped knitted blankets across the country last year for a charity project that way.

      • Clementine

        Pack the stuff into Space Bags and vacuum the air out. Get the nicest stuff you can get into one box. Know that when you’re shipping this across the country, you’re not only giving your sister stuff but you’re also letting her know that the two of you are connected.

      • Senior Attorney

        Also, rolling takes up less space than folding. Try it — you’ll be amazed!

    • Erisa

      Amtrak ships boxes for super cheap. Seriously, I shipped about 12 large boxes from college halfway across the country for $300 bucks. It is similar to greyhound but much, much safer and more reliable. I have heard terrible things about greyhound shipping. I think you can pay more to have it actually delivered, but the cheapest option is station-to-station.

    • hoola hoopa

      This is an extremely timely post for me. Thanks for asking – and thanks for the great replies. I never would have thought of greyhound or amtrak!

  7. Work Event Wear?

    All, I need suggestions for an outfit for a (social) work event this weekend that will be outside in windy, mid-60’s weather. I was originally planning to wear a simple summer dress and sandals, but that’s not really feasible considering the weather. I’d like to wear something dressy casual while staying warm. Any ideas?

  8. Sundae Funday

    We’ve played this game before but I would love more suggestions. What do you / would you order on seamless for dinners at work where you are eating at your desk? Looking for healthy suggestions that are not salads. Bonus if they deliver to midtown east manhattan.

    • Missk

      I like:

      grilled meats over bulger from one of the turkish places.

      Dig Inn

      sushi – stay away from the tempura rolls.

      vietnamese noodle salad dish.

      bento boxes

      • AIMS

        Plus 1 to Bento Boxes. Or brown rice and steamed veggies with your choice of sauce on the side – I like Garlic and/or General Tso’s.
        Does Banana Pudding from Buttercup Bakeshop not count as health food?

    • Sibling help

      Dig Inn is one of my go-tos. Depending on where you work, you might be in the delivery zone of The Little Beet, which looks healthy and I have been wanting to try it (you can order 0nline, but I don’t believe they’re on seamless). Also, there is a Num Pang Sandwich Shop in midtown that is on seamless and you can order brown rice bowls.

  9. Anon

    I have what is probably a ridiculous problem but I’d like the hive’s input nonetheless. A bunch of my really close friends (from different friends groups) are on pretty strict budgets recently. Obviously I want to respect that but now none of my friends are available to do the things we normally do, like drinks after work or dinners out or yoga classes etc. Any suggestions? I don’t really want to hang out at home with or without my friends

    • tesyaa

      Are there any free or really cheap activities you can do together? This might be harder when the weather gets cool since a lot of free activities are outdoors, but I’m thinking museums, free concerts, even window shopping.

    • TXLawyer

      Does your city have free concerts/plays/movies in the park type events?

      Play tennis at a public court, go jogging or for walks, volunteer at an animal shelter together.

      If you and your friends are in the same/similar profession, try meeting up at networking/industry events.

    • kc

      There are plenty of free things to do that don’t involve hanging out at home. Have a picnic in the park and sneak margaritas in a thermos, go on walks with each other, find free exercise classes outside in your city (these do exist! Or at least they do in DC, there’s a different one every week). Do a yoga video together in one of your homes. Have a dinner party and cook fancy food together. Go to museums, state parks, or art shows. They probably have money to do *some* things, but just not as much as before. Or, just get all new friends.

    • Sundae Funday

      If you live somewhere where the weather is nice, how about a nice walk in a park or along a water front or something? My city has free exercise classes once a week outside. Maybe do a potluck type thing at home? Check out your city’s website for other free happenings. Sorry know this can seem trivial but I agree with you it takes some creativity and can be hard!

    • Anonymous

      I don’t think this is a ridiculous problem at all! To sub for yoga, can you set up a few “hikes”? (In quotes because I’m meaning to include city walking through diff neighborhoods too). To sub for drinks and dinner out can you suggest a rotating dinner party, find a good happy hour deal, or city depending drunken picnic? I know it’s not your budget squeeze, but could you channel the savings into something fun to look forward to? Presidents Day in Aruba maybe?

      • anonsg

        I particularly like the idea of a hike, especially the kind that involves looking at clothes and trying on shoes. And you don’t even have to spend money :)

    • Baconpancakes

      Check your library – if you’re in a major metropolitan area, they tend to have more events than you’d think, and naturally they’re all free.

    • Kate

      If you have a mall, large indoor concourse, etc near you you can meet up to walk’ntalk, then get coffee. Bonus exercise without getting sweaty. My close friend group has never had more than 2 gainfully employed adults at a time since we’re all very grad school inclined, so we tend to just do dinners in people’s homes.

    • Check out stuff for parents

      A lot of parent-related sites (or parts of newspapers / local networks news shows’ websites) have “Free Stuff in Your Town This Weekend” type features. City or university or community college or ethnic-group-related festivals (we’ve had India and Greece in recent weeks), university or community college or even high school plays are cheap and they often get very good quality events. Libraries also have literary festivals that may include readings. Small galleries have great opening parties. Our (not very large) city has almost too many gallery crawls and food truck rodeos. If I didn’t have kids (the great irony), I would do a ton more than I do. But most things are free (or if not free, very cheap). Our outdoor parks are always having some sort of “jam in the park” type of event.

    • New Job Advice

      I like to run errands together, cook large batches of food/prep freezer meals together and walk. It’s a nice mix of productivity, socializing, and exercise. Last weekend I made key lime pie martinis with crushed graham cracker rim at home. They were a hit and we all felt very fancy.

    • Anon

      Do a happy hour at your place. Buy a couple bottles of wine and a couple easy appetizers. The whole cost will probably be less than your bill alone getting drinks at a restaurant.

    • roses

      Where do you live? I’m sure people can recommend specific free things to do if you live in a city.

    • Ella

      Volunteering – seriously. There some awesome volunteering opportunities that you can do with a group. Highly recommended

    • a.k.

      While the weather’s still nice, what about a potluck picnic dinner in a park? Everyone brings 1 dish, and then you can either hang out and chat, or take supplies for cornhole or croquet or something.

  10. New Job Advice

    I am currently working at at a gov agency and I’m starting a new admin job at a different gov agency next week. Part of the new job duties were described as “tracking project completion” within the office. I will be lowest on the totem pole in the new office and I have never tracked project completion before. What is the best way to go about this? The new job is a new position, so there will not be any sort of training or turnover. Advice? Thank you.

    • ITDS

      Ask to talk to people who can describe how the project generally proceeds. I used to do this type of job for a construction company and there were certain milestones we tracked such as permit application submitted, permit pulled, materials ordered, materials arrived, job started, job complete, etc. Once you know what you’re tracking, you can make a spreadsheet or simple database for the info.

  11. CB2 coupon codes?

    Does CB2 run coupon codes on a regular basis? I feel like I haven’t seen one in a long time. I’ve been stalking a piece of furniture that stubbornly refuses to go on sale, so I’m wondering if I should just pull the trigger or if I should hold out for a code.

    • TXLawyer

      Haven’t tried it with CB2 but have you tried logging in, putting it in your cart and then waiting a couple days? Sometimes I’ll get a follow up email from online stores offering a coupon code to check out my shopping cart.

    • Aerith

      I just got a 15% off coupon in yesterday’s mail from them. Do you get their catalogs? CB2 and Crate & Barrel will occasionally mail coupons.

      • CB2 coupon codes?

        Ooh, I think there might be a Crate and Barrel catalog in my pile of mail I need to go through. I’ll check that for a CB2-applicable coupon. I also have the thing sitting in my cart – hasn’t resulted in more than a “hey, you left items in your cart!” email yet, but I’ll give it a few more days.

        • Aerith

          Well, a Cb2 coupon comes in a Cb2 catalog. You could probably ask customer service for one, though. Say you haven’t gotten it and wanted to buy something.

        • Mpls

          Yeah – I got a CB2 little folder mailer deal that…might have a coupon inside? I haven’t opened it yet to find out.

          So…sign up for their mailing list? I get the C&B catalogs, and occasionally the CB2.

    • Pesh

      Which piece is it?? I’ve been eyeing a few CB2 things lately too…as well as Pottery Barn Teen of all places. Some of their so-called “teen” furniture is gorgeous!

      • CB2 coupon codes?

        The “swig” bar. Thanks all for the suggestions. I’ll see if I can track down a catalog.

  12. GIFTING S.O.S.

    I am invited to a BBQ this Sunday that is also a housewarming except that it’s not officially a housewarming and everyone was told expressly not to bring gifts. But you guys know everyone will bring gifts. I’ve asked if I can bring anything to the BBQ itself and was told it’s all taken care of, and the hosts are not really big drinkers at all, so my go to of nice bottle of wine would be a little tone deaf. I know they could always re-gift or serve at the party or at another occasion, so it’s my back up plan, but is there anything else y’all can think that’s a good non-gift gift?

    • tesyaa

      A houseplant? Cut flowers, or attractive artificial flowers, if they are not the kind of people to keep a plant alive?

    • nutella

      Fancy bbq sauce? I picture it in one of those bags that wine bottles come in, ha!

      • MNF

        + 1

        Also, nice olive oil or honey? This calls for a hostess gift rather than a housewarming gift.

    • Anonymous

      Don’t do it. Don’t bring a gift. They said not to. Fight the madness. Certainly don’t give them a plant or candle, that’s probably the type of clutter they are trying to avoid. I’d give the give of a prompt thank you note telling them what a good time you had at their party.

      • Meg Murry

        Yes, this. When people (or at least me) say “no gifts” they don’t mean “oh, only bring a gift if you feel socially obligated to”. They really do mean “I don’t need a pile of stuff, thank you, please just come spend time with me.”
        Fight the madness! Its not rude to follow a direct request! Or if you really can’t resist, what about a cute pack of notecards for all the thank you notes they will be obligated to write for the gifts they hoped not to receive?

        • Wildkitten

          They will have to buy a second pack of notecards to write you a note for the pack of notecards so as to not send you a note of the cards you just got them. Can you bring wine/beer and have folks drink it at the party? So not a gift for later but a potluck contribution if you insist on bringing something in your hands?

          • Mpls

            I would totally use the thank you cards gifted to me to thank the person who gave them to me. Why wouldn’t you?

            But I’m also on the “don’t bring anything” side of the argument. Show up and be a good guest. That’s contribution enough.

      • Mo

        +1 If your friends actually prove to be the disingenous sort who will say no gifts but then hold it against you if others show up with gift in hand, you could always send thank you flowers the day after the party.

        That said, I really don’t think you can go wrong bringing a six pack of craft beer to a BBQ.

      • Brant

        Bring a bouquet of flowers if you simply cannot show up empty handed, but do not give them candles.

    • Marilla

      Bring something for dessert, or flowers. But dessert – something casual and bbq-y like chocolate chip cookies from a good bakery – are better because they don’t have to find out where they put their vase when they unpacked.

    • Bee

      Trader Joe’s (and I’m sure other places) has a champagne-esque non-alcoholic drink that’s pretty tasty. I’m partial to blueberry but I think there are other flavors too.

    • Anonymous

      Chocolates. They can put them out at dessert or keep them for themselves. Or delicious baked goods for their breakfast the next morning (sticky buns, great French croissants, etc.).

    • Scully

      Call on the way over and ask if they need anything picked up at the store (extra bag of chips, napkins, etc).

      • hoola hoopa

        +1

        I firmly agree that since you’ve been specifically asked not to bring a gift or anything for the meal, you should respect that. But I always appreciate these texts even though 90% of the time I don’t have anything. That one time you need ice, you really appreciate that someone asked!

  13. Wildkitten

    Does anyone else get really anxious/upset/stressed about birthdays? I’m coming up on one, it’s not even a big one, and I just feel like I have accomplished nothing over the past year and am not where I though I would be by now! I don’t feel this way all the time, just around birthdays and maybe new years.

    • jc

      Yep, it started with my 25th birthday and happened again last year. Also get it around new year’s as well. You are not alone!

    • nutella

      Absolutely! But more it just makes me think, but-but-but I don’t FEEL 27! I still feel 24! I think law school sucked a few years away that I didn’t ‘feel’ go by. And yes, the “not where I thought I’d be” can creep its ugly head, too. That one is particularly harsh because I never compared myself to others, just compared myself to me and my potential so that thought can be unpleasant. (In that case, it sounds terrible, but it can help to compare yourself to others by thinking – I accomplished xyz and So-and-so is still doing abc, wow look at me!) All in all, age is just a number, you do your own journey. There are so many accomplished people that had their major achievements earlier in life and so many that had them later in life.

    • Anon

      Yep. I never understood people who felt this way until last year, when I turned 34 and wanted to pretend it never happened. Not looking forward to my 35th at all!

    • this is a humblebrag

      I was dreading 30, then about 2 months from D-Day (or B-Day!) I got a major raise, major promotion, and DH and I hit a Very Big savings goal for us ahead of schedule. It was also the same year I had my first kid, so I turned 30 hitting all my “goals” and felt pretty damn good. But before those things happened I just felt old. Now I feel old and like a grown up but one with a bank account that doesnt’ make me want to puke.

    • AN

      I just turned 40, and keep telling myself that I am happier now than at 30, and also look better:)

  14. (former) preg 3L

    Shopping challenge: I bought a pencil skirt in May 2013 that I haven’t worn yet because I can’t find a blouse to go with it. The skirt is cream colored with gold thread woven in horizontally, so there are very thin gold stripes (from Ba na na republic factory, couldn’t find a photo online). Ideally, I’d find a blouse that can be worn untucked because my middle is poochy and the waist of the skirt looks terrible if I have a tucked-in blouse. TIA!

  15. Senior Attorney

    You guys! I am pleased to report that yesterday I went to The Former Marital Residence and retrieved my furniture and the other belongings I was awarded in the marital settlement agreement, and I am officially stick-a-fork-in-me done with my divorce and with the former Mr. Senior Attorney! As expected, he was his usual difficult self but I stayed cool and it all went as well as could reasonably be expected. And now I never have to see or speak to him again!

    Magical moment of the day: As the movers were unpacking the stuff at my new house, one of them said to me, “You ex is kind of passive aggressive, isn’t he?”

    • Anon

      Whatever money you paid to those movers was TOTALLY worth it for that comment alone!

      • Other

        Ha – I love it! And I totally overtipped a crib delivery guy when I heard him exclaim “This room is beautiful – so sweet!” in Spanish as he walked into our nursery :) We had only spoken in English at that point, so he didn’t know I could understand him. Somehow it made it feel like a more genuine reaction :)

    • Clementine

      Mental image of you running out of there with Braveheart-style blue and white face paint and just screaming, ‘FREEEEEDOOMMMMMMMMM’.

      Congratulations! The next semi-celebratory beverage you have, know that i’m totally giving you a virtual ‘cheers’.

  16. Anon

    I’m supposed to be conducting interviews for a legal assistant at our firm. By myself. I’ve never even had the slightest participation in the hiring process before. Any tips?

    • Cat

      Check out Ask a Manager – lots of great interviewer tips among the archives. My 2 cents – think about what would make you say “that person makes a really awesome assistant,” and then try to think of questions you could ask to elicit examples of the candidate acting that way. Like – if the partner they’ll be working with is in a state of constant fire drill due to failure to plan ahead (like, lots of last minute “I need a conference room and lunch in 10 minutes” “I need to get this bill out in an hour” etc) – how would the candidate work with that atmosphere and/or try to be proactive, to the extent possible, for the next time around?

    • Anon

      Whenever I have been on hiring committees I find it pretty easy to identify those who are competent/can do the job, but the harder and probably more important part is figuring out who is someone we want to work with everyday. Sorry I don’t have more concrete tips and sometimes (I learned the hard way) your gut instinct can be off, but that is what I try to narrow down in interviews.

      • Brant

        I actually learned that my gut is right. However that was less about “my gut says this person is right” and more about “my gut says that even though everyone else likes this person and I can’t quite put my finger on it I really don’t think it’s a good fit”– that last one has happened twice, and the first time I didn’t speak up- it was a terrible fit. The second time I spoke up adn we didn’t make the hire. Two weeks later we found a “dream” candidate who was 3x the firepower at 80% the salary.

      • Alanna of Trebond

        I second this — our firm hired a new paralegal for a trial, and although she was very capable and had the right experience, her personality was the worst fit for our team. We ended up encouraging her to resign at the end of the trial…which she did. I guess this post is not entirely helpful because I don’t know what the mistake was in the hiring process.

  17. Marie

    The Gap has a similar ballet-neck t-shirt to the one in the post, but eight dollars cheaper. I bought two last year, and they’ve really held up and look nice after a number of washings. (Even the black one.) Will post the link separately.

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