Should Women Wear Belts with Work Pants?

63 Comments

1. Given that I always wore t-shirts, and pants, I always wore belts. I liked the psychology of belts, the feeling of cinching in my waist. Let it be said that before children I was small-waisted, so belts also looked good. I always looked for belts with a covered buckle, at about 1.5 inches so it didn’t slip around in the belt loops, often crocodile or stamped leather.

   1. I have been on a quest for a perfect “basic” belt forever. May I ask why the preference for covered buckles? Maybe I have neglected to investigate those.

      1. I like covered buckles because that way there is never a clash with my jewelry and also I don’t really want something shiny at my waist to catch the eye.

2. Didn’t someone post in the comments a while back about wearing an “invisible” plastic belt that would cinch pants under untucked shirts while preventing the belt bulge? I’d love to hear more about that option, too, from people who’ve tried them out.

   Here’s one from QVC:

   http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/view.2/app.detail/params.item.A85836.desc.Invisibelt-Set-of-2-Adjustable-Slimming-Belts?ref=GSA&cm_ven=GOOGLEPAID&cm_cat=ACCESSORIESANDSHOES&cm_pla=INVISIBELT&cm_ite=INVISIBLEBELT

   1. I have the isabelt. http://www.isabelt.com/ I have the wide and the skinny, and I find the skinny to be more versatile. I probably wear it 3 times a week, to keep my pants fitting right but without having to deal with a belt and a buckle.

   2. I’m very confused as to the use of these types of “belts”. If the problem is that your pants won’t stay up/in place without a belt, then don’t you need different pants that fit correctly? Or if the problem is that your belt is bulging through your shirt, wouldn’t that mean your shirt is too tight (sort of how if you can see your bra outline through an otherwise opaque top, it means it is too snug)?

      1. Dress pants of the right size tend to sit in the right place and not need a belt, at least on me. However, I also have low-rise jeans, and even if they’re the right size and fit correctly, they still slip down when I sit. The lower the rise, the more they slip down. So, I always wear a belt with my jeans, regardless of whether or not I’m tucking in.

3. I always wear a belt with pants when I wear buttondowns because I tuck, and I don’t like the look of empty belt loops. If I’m wearing a sweater that covers my loops, I don’t wear a belt. I haven’t noticed that it affects how my pants sit/hang.

   1. Someone could well convince me otherwise, but I would have thought the whole pants-sitting-right purpose of belts would apply only to men, not to women who have already have hips for that purpose. but I agree that the buttondown/slacks look requires a belt to look put together.

4. BR is having a 30% off work clothes sale today online, and free shipping when you spend $50 or more with code BRFREE50.

5. I wouldn’t wear a belt if I was wearing something untucked or a sweater. But- if tucking, or if the belt loops are visible, then yes to the belt!

6. Hi ladies,

   Sorry for the early threadjack, but I’m majorly in need of some good advice. I’m a third-year litigation associate in Biglaw–but am still in my first year at the firm, since I came off of a two-year clerkship. I don’t know what it is about the job, but I am having a terribly difficult time adjusting–I just feel terribly unhappy. I have worked long hours in stressful conditions before, but for some reason this feels different. I keep telling myself I’ll get used to it, but it just keeps getting worse, and lately I’ve struggled even to just get out of bed to go to work in the morning. Because I’ve been here such a short time, I feel like changing jobs isn’t an option now. Kat’s attitude adjustment post last week helped a lot. But how else can I make things bearable for me, in the short term? Even the future promise of a better job with more manageable hours and interesting work isn’t doing it for me now.

   1. Even with your current horrible hours, do you still have a little bit of free time during waking hours that you can carve out to do something for you? Think of something you can look forward to each week, like getting your nails done, playing tennis with a friend, reading a trashy novel, etc. (obviously the something-to-look-forward-to varies for each of us – for me it’s playing the piano)

      Also, a psychiatrist friend had me write “Enjoy the Process” on a piece of paper and tack it to my computer monitor, as well as on my CPA review books – and I have found that despite my cynicism, remembering to enjoy the process has focused me on the good parts of what I am doing…

      1. Hi Shayna — that’s definitely what I’m trying to do. I’ve been trying as hard as possible to keep up with running (my favorite hobby) and to spend as much time with my husband as possible. It helps, but at the same time those things almost make me more resentful of the time the firm takes away from me, because I’m reminded of how essential things outside of work are to my happiness. I am so happy with so many things outside of my job — wonderful husband, we love the city we live in, great friends, fun hobbies — but I want a job that lets me enjoy those things. Lately it feels like the pall from my unhappiness at work affects everything else.

   2. You need to figure out what it is that’s making you unhappy – the practice area, the partners you work with, your hours, your commute, etc. Maybe it’s the level of responsibility, the lack of control or your firm culture? For me, it was all of the above, so I switched practice areas, switched to a mid-sized firm and moved to a city with better work-life balance and I couldn’t be happier. Don’t think that you can’t change jobs right now – the longer you are at a place that’s sapping away your soul, the more miserable you will be. My own unhappiness (as a 3rd year litigator in Biglaw) led to an eating disorder and a lot of turmoil in my relationship with my husband. It was so not worth it.

      1. This. Change jobs now if you can. Jobs like this are not for everyone, and that’s ok. *hugs* to you — hang in there, and be kind to yourself!

   3. *hugs* So sorry to hear you’re miserable! No advice (I’m just a 3L), but this really has me wondering: we all hear about these horrors throughout law school, and yet, we still fight for the big law litigation position. Why? I was convinced that I’d love small/mid size law, but it’s like law school and summer internships have brainwashed me into seeing some glamorized vision of big law and made me want it, too.

      1. BigLaw is definitely not for everyone and I never thought it was for me but nearly 10 years later, here I still am. The trick is to find the practice area and people and city that works for you. It has worked for me longer than I expected (although I did have to switch firms and practice areas to find that). But I feel like I’m reaching the end of my tolerance for it for many of the same reasons indicated – resenting the lack of autonomy and free time. The bottom line is, you have to do what works for you and forget about prestige and glamor (there is not glamor in working until midnight and eating all of your meals at your desk).

         1. I am definitely not in it for the glamour, believe me. I’m here because I need the money, to be honest — my husband lost his job, and after two years of clerking I made no headway on my loans. Part of the reason I feel so trapped is financial. My husband has found a new job but it’s lower paying, and we’re more dependent on my salary than would be ideal. I have no interest in making biglaw money in the long term sense, but at the same time I feel like I can’t afford to take a government job either, at least not right now.

   4. You could be depressed – take advantage of your health insurance (and the new law that requires equal treatment of mental health issues) and see a psychiatrist. There is no shame in it, and the longer you are unhappy, the more you train your brain to think unhappy thoughts. Also, research shows that we are better at problem-solving when we are happier, so if your situation has triggered a bout of depression then you will be better able to address it if you are in a better frame of mind.

      Also, when you are new is the easiest time to change practice areas. Different practice areas have different lifestyles – perhaps it’s not the hours, but the lack of control over your hours (T&E and small deals allow more control than high-stakes litigation or public M&A)? Erratic hours and sleep deprivation? Lack of creative expression (I found litigation better from that perspective – at least it’s advocacy and not just cut and paste)? If you think you might be happier in a different practice area, I’d recommend speaking to a female partner in that area before formally applying for a change. If her department needs people, and your group has been happy with your work, then it should be a fairly painless transition.

   5. I really feel for you.. I also started Biglaw as a third-year associate after clerking (I clerked for 3 years but only got 2 years of class year credit). I had never been a summer associate, having done public interest for my law school summers. What a rude awakening—even for someone who does not mind working hard. Here are some thoughts–

      Are you doing any work that interests you? Probably the last thing you want to think about is doing MORE work when you’re overwhelmed, but it’s so important to have at least one project that you find fulfilling. It can give you a sense of purpose and connection to the work. Pro bono is great for this, but you might also be able to seek out some paying work that is more up your alley than your current tasks.

      Are you doing anything outside of work? In my first six months at the firm, even the weekends I was not working, I didn’t do anything because I felt so drained. Experience has taught me that using free time to do something (and preferably not just all the errands that are piling up) instead of just laying around made me feel less sad and isolated. Stay connected to the world!

      I can give you plenty more tips, but I should also say that after a little under 3 years, I threw in the towel last week and gave my notice. Off to work for the government. If you know this situation is absolutely not right for you, it is NOT a failure. You clerked, you landed a good job, so you know you’re sharp and capable. You CAN do this job. And you can do another one. There are so many paths you can take. So give it your best shot— I would recommend at least a year— and then reevaluate. Trust your instincts. I learned that you can be really good at a job and still dislike it, even dread it. Life is too short for that.
      Really, best of luck. Take care of yourself!

      1. I’m sorry, I just noticed your follow-up comment that it’s important for you to stay for financial reasons. Feeling trapped certainly adds to the stress of the predicament. But look at what you said above: your unhappiness at work is casting a pall over every other part of your life, even the great parts. I’m not suggesting you do anything irresponsible, but for the sake of your health, life, marriage, all of it, it would be worthwhile to start thinking of ways you can make a change of jobs work a little sooner than would be ideal for the bottom line. In the meantime, there’s good advice here about making your current situation more manageable. Maybe you could pick one tiny thing to do differently tomorrow—even small changes can lead to the hope of bigger change.

   6. I went through something very similar and my advice is to change jobs. There is no rule or law that says that you have to stay and be miserable. Life is too short. Why waste any time being miserable when you don’t have to. There comes a point where coping doesn’t work, and the resentment builds upon itself. From personal experience, be careful that your unhappiness doesn’t take a toll on your marriage.

      If it’s your practice area, see if you can move to a different one. If it’s the firm, then look for another firm.

   7. Really do try changing practice areas before you leave Biglaw. It worked for me, even though I wasn’t sure it would. Also consider the possibility that this is a first-year adjustment thing. It’s a hard job, but it is sometimes possible to learn how to let go of some of it — to push back when you need to, and to leave work at work. Try to find an older associate or young partner you trust who seems to have done that, and ask advice. Hang in there!

   8. Also, consider what you would miss about your current job if you left. There must be a few people there, or a person, or a particular type of work, or a particular case, you would miss. Then start trying to find other people/work/cases like that.
      Also, you have to have friends in your job, and it sounds as if you don’t have any close ones. If that’s the case, reach out and make some — you’ll probably find that the things making you miserable are shared by others and find some better ways to cope.
      I’m sorry you’re unhappy — I know it’s rough to feel like the weight of your financial future rests solely on your shoulders. But I don’t think you should throw in the towel yet – the things that got you to BigLaw can keep you there for a little while, giving you time to figure out where you want to be (and giving you some stability for your resume). Figure out what you like, find friends at work who can help you cope, and make it work!

   9. I went through this as well–working in BigLaw, feeling financially bound, while my spouse was unemployed/underemployed. Feeling trapped can make the stress much, much worse. I am also someone who sometimes unjustifiably perceives financial constraints as immutable (probably due to how I was raised, etc.) Can you sit down and go through your finances and figure out whether you really do need your salary? Could you cut back on certain expenses, get a cheaper apartment, etc to trim your budget? If you knew you could live on one salary (his), that could take some of the pressure off, whether you ultimately chose to stay or not. It’s easy to overspend because you want to indulge yourself to make up for being miserable but that never helps.
      Also, I felt that my life was so out of my control and so in the hands of my firm that I never planned anything for the weekends, and as a consequence, never did anything and my life became dominated by work. So absolutely take some time every week to plan your social life, hobbies, or other use of downtime. Don’t fall into a rut!
      Ultimately, it is ok to get out. There is a lot about BigLaw that is illusory. They promise great training but don’t give it (you mostly have to train yourself when thrown in the fire). They promise great opportunities for next jobs, but … hmm, my firm didn’t even allow partners to be references for attorneys leaving the firm. This meant that after 6 years of working my behind off, the firm did not provide a reference for me as a matter of policy. They certainly didn’t mention that at OCI. Interestingly, I went to counseling for advice on a personal matter, choosing a therapist near work for convenience, and over the course of a few appointments, ran into several attorneys from my firm, all young female associates, in the waiting area. At first I was mortified but then I realized it couldn’t be a coincidence; the firm just was not a healthy environment for smart, high-achieving women who simply wanted *more* out of life.

   10. Big law is not the place for everyone, but there is hope on the other side. I went through one of the roughest periods of my life working for 3 years at a big firm. Figure out what you need to get from it, do that, and make an exit plan. I needed to pay off my loans. I tried to live conservatively (tough, I know when you are working those kinds of hours and want to treat yourself), and make big monthly payments towards loans. Every month I was able to make a big payment, I felt a sense of accomplishment. After 3 years, I had paid off the bulk and went to work as a prosecutor. It is amazing. It pays crap but is amazing work, and I feel like it is only possible b/c I did my time at big law.

       Hang in there.

   11. Ladies, thanks to all of you for your supportive messages. I think the advic re: finding friends and taking stock of finances is especially helpful. My problem is definitely that I feel alone and trapped, even though I know that neither of those things is true!

7. Never got into belts for the same reason — even now that I’m thinner I still don’t wear anything tucked in (unless it’s under a jacket/sweater that by definition is still not tucked in), because I find it leaves me looking rather shortwaisted/matronly… and being fairly short to begin with means having a surplus of fabric bunched up in the waistband which is never flattering!

   1. Never wear belts, too shortwaisted!

      1. I’m long-waisted and I never wear belts! I don’t have much a waist (either pre or post kids) and I think it’s just unflattering on me. Haven’t worn tucked in in years. And I’m not heavy, just pretty average in build.

8. While we’re on the topic of leather goods, how do I get the stink out of my favorite pair of work shoes? I tried putting them in a plastic bag and sticking them in a freezer overnight and it did not work. I haven’t even worn these shoes that long and I usually wear them with hose so I have no idea why they reek. Please help!!

   1. Are you sure they’re real leather? I invariably have that problem with fake leather shoes, and never with real leather. Or maybe the inserts aren’t real leather? You could try baking powder foam inserts.

   2. 1. Don’t ever wear the same pair of shoes two days in a row. Give shoes at least a day to air out.
      2. Stuff newspaper in shoes when not wearing them, and then recycle the newspaper.
      Those tips have worked for me!

   3. Get a spray deodorant – there are varieties designed for feet, and varieties designed for shoes. The shoes one is preferable, but the foot one works too. Spray liberally, let sit overnight, repeat until smell is tolerable.

   4. Try putting dryer sheets in your shoes. And I echo Jay’s comment: don’t wear shoes two days in a row. Give each pair a day to breathe.

   5. You may want to try an enzyme containing powder. Unfortunately, in the US the closest thing I’ve found that is widely commercially available is oxy clean. Although I’ve heard that whole foods sells a pricey, but effective enzymatic cleansing powder. Let them sit in a dry place

      If you try this, make sure you keep the powder off the outside of the shoes. I haven’t had any problems yet, but ymmv.

      I find that when getting rid of bad smells, enzymes are the best, followed by sunlight (good old UV radiation kills a lot of odor causing bugs). Of course, you probably don’t want to leave your leather sitting out in the sun.

9. Threadjack!

   This is my last week of my legal summer internship, and I have nothing to do! I finished up all of my assigned projects a few hours ago and then asked my supervising attorney for something else, but he hasn’t gotten back to me. Initially I thought he was out today, but when I walked past his office earlier he called me in to say that he is “hoping to get me some more work soon.”

   Obviously I can’t judge ALL government places, but the general idea here is that we get about 5-7 days to do a project that can easily be completed in 1-2. I have consistently turned in things early and only received praise–and surprise that I was able to finish so quickly. But now I’m afraid they will not give me anything extra, and I will just be sitting at my desk for the next three days!!

   Any suggestions?!

   1. Oh for the love! Write an article! You won’t get free Westlaw access forever, so use it now. There are all kinds of bar journals looking for a quick column on new laws and cases, and trust me, the standard isn’t that high for the writing. Or get thyself down to the legal library in your office and thumb through some nutshell guides to get some big picture views of your practice area. This is stuff you won’t have time for later, and it will help you in the long run to know where your piece of work fits into the landscape.

   2. Seriously? Can we all have your job? Look, I know being bored isn’t the most fun thing in the world, but please take advantage of it while you can and have some sympathy for those of us trying to fit 5-7 days of work into 1-2 days.

      On a related note, I’ve often found that summer interns rush to complete jobs and turn them in early, only to get a product that was obviously rushed and incomplete, requiring lots of follow-up from me and numerous go-rounds. Taking a little longer (obviously, still meeting deadlines) isn’t always a bad thing.

      Not saying this is you, or that your work isn’t great – obviously, I’m not reviewing it – but ask yourself if there is any way to make something more thorough, if there is another avenue you can look at, if you should let it sit overnight and look at it in the morning from a little more distance and see if there are revisions or other avenues to explore that weren’t obvious the first time you checked it over.

      1. Good points. I haven’t been trying to rush or anything–this is just the type of office where people spend time “working” by talking to each other about personal matters for 1-2 hours. As an intern I feel like I should not be doing that, so I spend those hours working … and then end up being done a couple of days early.

         On the bright side, I did find out how my work has been used in projects, and they gave me a new angle to work on!

         1. Not to be cruel, but that “working” by talking with people is essential to what an intern or summer is supposed to do, assuming that they are looking at hiring you full time.

            Everyone who gets through the door can do the work. The purpose of the “tryout” phase is to see if you fit in the group.

            But I’m in Biglaw, ymmv.

   3. I’m sorry – I understand the feeling. I, too, am having to prowl for work and I hate the non-essential, less-than-useful feeling it gives me. Everyone else’s advice is spot on, though. Go read desk books, look up the final versions of projects that you worked on to see how your work was adapted, and make sure people know you’re eager and available! As a last resort, take this time to start writing your thank you notes or prep for the coming semester by organizing your calendar. Good luck!

      1. I hate that non-essential prowling for work feeling too. I’ve been fighting it off and on since my undergrad internships. I can’t wait to get out of law school and get a real job.

   4. Are you planning to use any of your summer work as a writing sample (with permission, of course)? I wanted to use one of my projects last summer but I was consumed with work through my last day that I didn’t have time to create a redacted copy. I knew with this government agency that there was no way on earth they would let me have an unredacted copy to work on at home (which is perfectly understandable, given the nature of work at this agency), so I never got to use the project as my writing sample. If you have the time, I would advise doing this. It will be nice to have it substantially complete when clerkship apps sneak up and you’re dealing with a hundred other things for those, or even to present on short notice if a professor you’re applying to RA for requests one (I’ve seen it on a few postings).

10. I don’t really wear belts, except when pants are too big, and even then I don’t tuck (to hide the bunchiness). I thought for a while that I would get into the belted cardigan thing that Michelle Obama does so well, but haven’t…just NMS.

11. Since we are talking belts, I have a question. I usually tuck my tops in and have always worked under the premise that if there are belt loops, I needed to put a belt in them. I have been seeing pants styled such that a belt is not always being wore with belt loops, have I been missing something? Is a belt optional when you are tucking in a shirt and there are belt loops?

    1. It is for me. But that’s not necessarily right. I just rarely find belts I like.

       1. Oh I have a similar issue. I rarely wear trousers (I own one pair) but pretty much always wear a skirt and tuck in a silk blouse or a button down shirt. So question: I only ever wear a belt if the skirt has belt hoops. I find belts don’t sit right on me if I don’t have the hoops to hold them in place. Am I meant to wear a belt regardless with skirts when I’m tucking in?

          I’ve only just started in the intern world and am really trying to make an effort with what i wear – lots of silks/wool-cashmeres etc with leather accessories, nice hair and MU every day but I don’t want to be looking ill put together on account of lacking a belt!!

12. I nearly left the house with two belts on this morning! I was wearing a patent leather skinny belt in the belt loops of my pants, then at the last minute, I put a 2.5″ wide cinch belt around the outside of my very angular blazer. I decided to embrace belts a few months back and I now have a large selection of very inexpensive belts – skinny, wide, leather, elastic, etc. I get complements all the time on how they finish off an outfit!

    My suggestion is to just start experimenting. If you need help, go talk to a sales clerk in a trendy department of Nordstrom – I’ve gotten lots of guidance. Because I always get belts for $30 or less (TJ Maxx, Marshall’s, Ross) they’re a pretty low risk purchase, and it’s amazing how they can spice up or polish off an outfit.

13. I just bought two belts this morning on my way to work. I decided to get in on the fun that Michelle Obama started. I have received compliments all day. I’m definitely embracing this trend.

    1. Am I the only one who doesn’t find her appealing? I really don’t understand why people think she’s such a fashion icon. FYI…she didn’t start the trend. It has been around for a while. (I was wearing belts over sweaters in 2007.) Way before the current First Lady.

       1. I think it’s just the contrast with the few recent first ladies, who were decidedly not fashionable. Not necessarily unfashionable, just not inventive with their clothing.
          Plus, the fashion press needs something to write about.

       2. Anon, unfortunately, you didn’t have a spread in Vogue in 2007. I know belts have been around forever, but really, most of my colleagues and friends admit to not owning a single belt.

14. I never wear belts and typically never even tuck in if I can avoid it. I have a short torso and tucking in makes my waist disappear and accentuates my out-of-proportion-ness. A belt just makes the whole situation worse.

15. If anyone’s interested in a professional-looking but cheap belt for work, Target has one that’s brown shiny (imitation croc?) one one side and black shiny (same texture) on the other side. About 1″ wide. The buckle flips around so it can be worn either black or brown. I can’t find it online, but it’s in the stores. It’s been my go-to work belt for years – great with tucked-in button-down shirts and slacks/suit pants.

16. Definitely only as a finishing piece — your pants should already be tailored to fit your waist without pulling or gaping. That’s what a tailor is for.

    Skinny belts in bright colors add a subtle pop to finish an outfit, while also lending a certain conservative polish.

17. If there are belt loops, there should be a belt in them.

    To the person who hated her 3rd year job in Biglaw – I work for the government, and I can’t pay my bills. I don’t know if that kind of stress is better or worse than work stress, but it’s not fun.

18. Typically, I HATE wearing belts except the really wide ones that you wear over some light layers to nip in at the waist. I like the way they look on other people, but I, too, leave my shirts untucked and generally don’t have any problems with my pants being too big in the waist.

19. Honestly, I’m shocked so many of you, including the blogger, wear your tops untucked — how sloppy! Think of the unkempt image you’re projecting, particularly in conservative environments…and in an age when women still must work harder to be compete with their male counterparts. Would the men in your office ever wear their shirts untucked? Absolutely not – it would look ridiculous. Something for you to ponder.

    1. Oh come on! I’m a tucker too – and I dislike button downs untucked. But given the variety of tops out there for women that are professional wear – including sweaters, knit tops, tops with an embroidered bottom hem, etc – I can understand the non-tuckers too.

       There’s slopppy untucking and there is polished untucking — just like wearing a too-big button down tucked in and bunched up is sloppy!

    2. This is crazy. Most women in my office, from junior associates to the most senior, do not *always* tuck in their tops, and many of us never do. If you’re wearing a piece that is clearly meant to be tucked (i.e. button-down with a suit), then by all means do, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing other types of tops untucked.

    3. joining the chorus here. Rach, I am with you to the extent you’re talking about a traditional button-front shirt (tails to tuck in). That happens to be the extent to which my work wardrobe overlaps with my male colleagues’ in styling, as well.

       But for knit tops/sweaters — no. Even the men don’t tuck in their sweaters…

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