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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Reader C wrote in to recommend this dress, noting: “I bought this dress and I absolutely love it — great with a black blazer (or even a red one!) Nice length, sleeves aren't too bulky under a jacket. But SIZE UP. The L fits like a 6.” Oooh, love the dress, great find, C! Unfortunately the dress only comes in sizes XS-L. (Ladies who have a hard time finding clothes small enough, you may want to check this one out.) It’s $69 at Zara. Zara Printed Tube Dress
This dress goes up to size XL and is also available in plus sizes in a similar style. Here's one more that goes up to size 18.
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
(L-5)
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
An
Honestly, what is the point posting a dress that only goes up to a 6?
Kat is just phoning it in….again.
An
And….full disclosure : I am size 8-10.
Coach Laura
Disagree about phoning it in. Low stock happens. I love the chevron alternative and she had some other plus sized options earlier this week.
anon
It appears that there are also similar versions available in larger sizes.
Anon
I think the point is exactly what she posted. I am very petite and have trouble finding clothes that I’m not swimming in. So glad Kat posted this dress because it seems like it might be a good option for me. It doesn’t bother me when she posts a dress that only comes in sizes 2+.
K120
+1
It’s hard to find dresses that don’t need lots of tailoring. I’m thinking about ordering this one.
petite anon
Same. I’m just a tiny person overall, and it’s frustrating when the vanity sized 00 is too big. Tailoring adds up, or may not even be possible when the dress is just too big all over.
Lazy lawyer
Yes. My mother (at 66, a stylish working professional) is teeny tiny and has a very difficult time finding clothes that fit, and that are age- and office-appropriate. I’m sending her a link to this dress.
Rarara
+3. It’s very difficult to find anything for my narrow-shouldered petite frame that doesnt make me look like a 14 year old. And there’s the inconvenience of getting everything tailored in addition to the cost.
Anonymous
Kat says it goes up to L? Large is 12-14. 8-10 would be a medium (that’s my size too).
Runner 5
L in Zara is not a 12-14 – I’d say it’s more like a US 8 but the reader who recommended it says the L fits like a US 6 in this dress.
Veronica Mars
Yeah, a large at Zara typically fits a US 4-6 in my experience (depending on how broad you’re built). It’s a small six. If you’re a 6-8 it may be a little snug.
Anonymous
I had the same problem at French Connection in NYC (many years ago). I could barely fit in most things in the store. It felt very HULK SMASH, but IRL I am about the size of a middle-schooler. Maybe online the range is larger?
Veronica Mars
I doubt it, honestly. I visited the Zara store in DC recently and tried on a few of the items that I’d bookmarked online. They all fit exactly as I was expecting (small). I think they just use a European sizing scale and don’t have the typical US vanity built in. With FCUK, you also have to be careful that you are actually trying on a *US* 8, and not a *UK* 8 (which off the top of my head I think is like a US 2).
Runner 5
UK 8 is technically a US 4 but I often see it expressed as a 2-4
nutella
Also disagree. I find Zara to fit mostly as expected. Occasionally, there will be a weirdly cut item that fits too small or too big, but for the most part, I am a XS-S there just like everywhere else.
Anonymous
That’s weird. I’m a size 8 at US mall retailers and have some Medium dresses from Zara that fit ok.
Anonymous
Because it’s a great dress a reader recommended. I think Kats really been working on featuring a better variety if sizes and this isn’t a problem.
Anonymous
Disagree. There is no magical dress unicorn that will work for everyone.
If I were a dress designer, I’d probably just do size 12+ b/c I have a feeling I could make bank if I could get that done right. But, I am a borderline petite pear with a tooclose relationship with my tailor (who has to pin everthing in on the top half), so all I can do is commiserate.
FWIW: TALBOTS seems to serve the rainbow of sizes the best out of any place I’ve seen (peitte, regular, women’s, women’s petite). I wish so many things weren’t catalog / internet only, and that they didn’t charge for shipping, but they still use wool and line wool pants. Talbots, people; TALBOTS!
Anonymous
Talbots is pretty bad for taller women. I used to be able to wear their dresses (even though they don’t have tall sizes) because the hemlines were very modest (40-41″), but in the last few years they’ve drastically raised them and their dresses are no longer work appropriate on 5’9″ me.
Anonymous
In that case: BODEN! And I know that Banana has talls (at least in a lot of pants).
I hear you: short me has birthed a 99%ile for height girl and it’s already a challenge. And she’s 7.
Belle
In that case: BODEN! And I know that Banana has talls (at least in a lot of pants).
I hear you: short me has birthed a 99%ile for height girl and it’s already a challenge. And she’s 7.
Anonymous
I hear you: I can’t wear any Brooks Brothers dresses because the waist is for someone with a longer torso. Same issue with the JCrew dresses (but at least the offer petite, but they don’t stock enough of those because the P sizes usually sell out when the non-P sizes are stil widely available). I’m not even petite (but am 5-5, so close), but waist placement in dresses is the pits. I work with some ladies who are 5-0 and cannot imagine how tough it is on them.
Mpls
Re: Boden – not all tall women have proportionately tall torsos :) All my height is in my legs (and arms) and I’m short-waisted to the point that empire-waists sometimes ARE my natural waist line. Boden Talls are sounding pretty good right now…
Wildkitten
MPLS that’s me too and Boden looks absolutely atrocious on me. I don’t even know why but it’s a disaster.
Anon
I don’t get all the Talbots love – everything is so frumpy. I guess it’s probably good if you’re a bigger size but for smaller sized women, it’s not a great option.
Wildkitten
Talbots 2015 is totally different than Talbots 2010. If you haven’t been in recently it’s worth checking out.
BankrAtty
I wear a lot of Talbots. Just not all at once. Talbots mixed with J.Crew, Boden, Banana, etc. can look very chic.
Anonymous
It’s gotten a lot less frumpy in recent years because they raised all their hemlines so the dresses now look like you’re street-walking if you’re over 5’8″. Not really, but they’re not work appropriate.
Meg Murry
AND she posted 3 other options, acknowledging the fact that the small size range will only work for a few readers. And it actually came with a personal recommendation, not just a vague, “oh, this dress on a random webs!te that I’ve never seen in person or tried on looks pretty”.
I wish the other options were pictured, or at least described by brand or store so I didn’t have to click on the link to know whether it will or won’t work for me, but I wouldn’t call this phoning it in at all.
Anonymous
My bigger issue with it is that it’s just ugly. Gingham is supposed to be a whimsical summer picnic print, and this is like gingham in mourning. It also has a bad uniform vibe.
Anonymous
This. It looks kind of flight attendant-y too.
ggg
I tried this on at Zara twice, in L and XL (I need a 10-12). It is TEENSY. But it was decently constructed and would be cute, if I could zip it at all.
anon
Thoughts on M.Gemi? If I buy a pair will they last for a long time looking good? How do they compare to other brands in terms of quality?
CountC
Belle at CapHillStyle has a few pairs I believe. I think they are not daily wear shoes and won’t hold up for commuting and such, but are good if you are going to wear them for special events or only put them on in the office. I think ExtraPetite has reviewed them as well.
anon
What does daily wear usually mean? I don’t commute in my work shoes and I wear each pair about once a week (I only have 5 pairs), but I still have one pair of shoes that hasn’t aged particularly well at all, and they’re at about that price point. My other shoes have been fine
Anonymous
ExtraPetite works for them, so take her recommendation with a grain of salt. She also supplies them to blogger friends like CapHillStyle for free. I’ve heard that the quality is ok but not up to par with the price.
Anonypotamus
THIS!
Regretting Parenthood?
Just wanted to say a big “Thank you” to all of yesterday’s commentators!
Trivial Holiday Weight Gain
I’m a chronic snacker, so I tend to go up about 5lbs during the holiday season, and it takes a few months to fall off. Last year’s didn’t come off, and I’d rather spend money on gifts than go up a size if that continues this year. Any tips for managing holiday parties and trying to limit my snacking habit? I appreciate good food, so I’d like to have something besides the veggie tray. Is it enough to cut out drinking for the month? Help!
Anonymous
I try and focus really hard on the easier things. I’m not giving up champagne or cheese or tasty treats. But I can make sure that I’m having unsweetened oatmeal, whole fruit, salads for lunch every day, and steamed veggies and fish or sushi on the rare nights I am home.
Cb
Could you challenge yourself to up your steps or activity? Maybe do some sort of challenge for the month to increase your mileage or add 10 minutes to each workout? Might help mitigate some of the effects.
Rogue Banker
This is what I was about to suggest. Going for a nice long walk is also one of my favorite ways to de-stress during the holidays (or any time, really).
Anonymous
Look up and make eye contact with the person you’re talking to between each bite and between each sip of your drink. Really savor whatever you’re consuming. It will last longer, you’ll enjoy it more, and overall, you’ll consume a bit less.
jumpingjack
This. My father lost about 30 lbs by eating mindfully.
Moonstone
Parties: Have at least a snack or something before you go. (I always arrive ravenous but am trying to break that habit.) And shrimp is a healthful item on the buffet line.
Trivial Holiday Weight Gain
Great ideas! I’m already trying to up workouts pre-Thanksgiving, I added ten minutes of sprints to try to help. I like the idea of eating healthier around the party and slowing down/savoring the food. It’ll make it ten times more worth it. The holidays are always a time to be mindful, and it definitely makes sense to apply that thinking to food. Thanks ladies!
K120
I keep a glass of water in my hand. I find keeping my hands occupied prevents me from mindless snacking. Or I rotate a glass of wine and a glass of water if I want to have a drink or two.
Cream Tea
Drink a big glass of water before parties so you aren’t arriving starving and thirsty. Swap two dinners per week for a bowl of stock-based soup.
I'm Just Me ...
Save your calories for the things that matter. I can eat cheese and crackers any month of the year, but I only get my sister’s shortbread at Christmas. So I’d rather savor one or two shortbread cookies and cut back on the cheese and crackers. People bring stuff into work, but it is generally pretty mediocre so it’s easy to skip (do I really want a super market cc cookie? Nah, I’ll wait until I can get a real treat). Up the walking, up the water.
SuziStockbroker
I agree with this. I don’t eat the stuff that people bring into the office and leave out. Who knows who has touched that, as well?
I eat a bunch of raw veggies before a party or a lunch, etc.
I decide WHAT I am going to indulge in, and I eat slowly and mindfully.
Every other drink (at least) is water. No pop, no juice (unless it is a mimosa at a brunch).
Eat lightly with lots of veg and salad the next day if possible.
ANP
Guys, I’m in a funk. Life is crazy right now: I have a big new job and hubs and I have 3 little kids under 6 (including one who’s barely 5 months old). I’m not getting great sleep because of the baby — husband and I do trade off nights, but the deficit is enormous. I’m trying like mad to say “no” to stuff (Pinterest holiday crafts I’m looking at you!) but even with cutting myself slack, there still aren’t enough hours in the day. And honestly, the worst part is that I feel totally BLAGH about how I look.
I would love to lose ~14 lbs to get back to a good place, which isn’t a ton but I’m exhausted and starving all the time (still bre@stfeeding, and I think I’m the only woman in the world unable to nurse herself skinny). I’d love to make time to work out but I am SO TIRED I can barely think straight; that 45 minutes of working out would, I think, be better spent napping! And all of this came to a head yesterday when an admin at work — who is relatively new to the organization — complimented me on my outfit “and your little tummy sticking out.” She obviously thinks I’m pregnant, and I do carry extra weight in my stomach, but COME ON.
Not sure what I’m looking for — help losing 14 lbs? Commiseration? Life hacks to find more hours in the day?
tesyaa
You’re looking for a few more months (6-12) to recover from pregnancy/childbirth/infant care! That’s how long it takes to feel and look more like your normal self.
Diana Barry
+1000. You just grew a human! It took me 1 year after each kid to feel somewhat normal again. Be gentle to yourself! Get some extra babysitting on the weekend so you can nap. And EAT so your supply stays good! Hugs.
Anonymous
You’re looking for someone to slap that rude pig, for starters.
You’re fine! If you’re exhausted and starving EAT FOOD ALREADY. You do not need to lose 14 lbs right now. You need to lose the idea that with three tiny kids and a full time job it’s your weight that is the problem. Hahahaha. Nope! It’s fatigue and too much to do, and that’s the same whether you loose 14 lbs or gain 31. Go easy on yourself.
nutella
This is great perspective.
mascot
You are in a tough place. There isn’t a magic wand for this. The only way out is through. So go easy on yourself, ignore the comments, and step away from Pinterest.
ITDS
Not doing Pinterest holiday crafts is not cutting yourself some slack! Take those naps your body is craving, and eat enough healthy food that you’re not feeling hungry and tired all the time. Sleep and improved nutrition can do wonders for your sense of well being.
Anon
I think you really have to cut yourself some slack here. Your baby is only 5 months old! Many women hold onto extra weight while nursing and cutting back on calories can cause your supply to drop. In a few months, your baby will get more calories from solid food and you can cut back on nursing (even if you continue to nurse long after). Your baby will start sleeping through the night eventually and you will have more time to work out. What helped me, once my baby was not exclusively nursing, was to first monitor my calories to see how many I really was eating and then cut back. I also started going for walks at lunch, which helped both my weight and my mental health. When it is nice outside, you can take all the kids to run around at the park or for a walk with the younger ones in the stroller. You will get there, but it takes time. Right now, just take care of your baby and yourself.
CKB
This times a million. i think I gained weight while nursing. And someone should slap that silly little admin (not really) but seriously who comments on someone’s tummy, especially someone higher up than you in an organization?
I think sleep should be your first priority after cutting yourself some slack. Once you have the sleep situation under control (which realistically might take a few more months) you will have the energy and mental acuity to do more. In the meantime make smart food choices and do whatever workouts you can, and don’t feel bad if it’s just going for walks. There is a time and season for everything and right now your season is still recovering from pregnancy and childbirth and breastfeeding.
Spirograph
I hear you about body frustrations, but 3 kids under 6 with a five month old and comfort food weather + holiday goodies setting in is (imho) not the time to go on a fitness kick. At best, it will be a much steeper uphill battle, at worst, you’re setting yourself up for failure and then you’ll have to fight through being down on yourself about that in another few months. Be kind to yourself! Take a mental health day from work and SLEEP.
I find that I feel a lot better if I plop the kids in stroller / ergo and go for a short walk after dinner. I know that I can be a crazy time when you’re trying to get the kids in bed, but at least for *my* kids, it calms them down a little. The fresh air + tiny bit of moderate exercise + chat with my husband puts me in a much better mental place to deal with everything waiting for me when I get back home, so even though I “lose” 20 minutes taking the walk it’s a net gain.
Snickety
Great advice here – cut yourself some slack and focus on nourishing your body and getting enough rest. Look for things to outsource. Accept all offers of help from friends and family. If people are asking you for gift ideas for the holidays, ask for things that will actually make your life easier (cleaning service, meal delivery, babysitting). Some day you will look back at this time and marvel at yourself, and you’ll kind of miss it.
Senior Attorney
I don’t think you need to cut yourself some slack — I think you need to pin a big ol’ medal on your chest just for surviving with a big new job and a little new baby!! I always heard it takes nine months to grow a baby and you should expect it to take at least nine months for your body to get back to normal. And honestly, I would start the nine-month “back to normal” clock AFTER you stop breastfeeding!
You are amazing!
How about getting a few cute new outfits to fit the body you have at the moment?
SuziStockbroker
I completely agree with everyone else that you need to cut yourself some slack.
A couple of other points:
Can you hire anything out to give you more time to relax and/or nap?
A cleaning service, laundry service or meal delivery if you are not already doing those things? When my kids were that little, I wanted my limited hours outside of work to be spent with them, not cleaning the toilets (which I do not find therapeutic or restful, although I know some people do). Might give you slightly more time to nap too.
Also, can you get your iron and your thyroid checked? Post-partum is a classic time for your thyroid to go off-kilter. Not that what you are doing is not exhausting enough to make you this tired, but it is worth checking.
CHS
Agree with everyone that cutting yourself more slack would be great. But I also understand the feeling of wanting to have a plan – any plan – even if you can’t execute it right now. Here’s an idea – maybe make a 12 month plan for the new year? Nothing crazy, but throw little challenges on it like: trying 1 or 2 yoga classes for January, cooking dinner at home 1 or 3 or whatever nights a week for February, bringing your lunch and some healthy snacks 4 days a week to work in March, trying out a new walking trail or two in April, etc etc. You can always scale it down or up if you want to, but might be kind of a fun way to map out some goals for the year that align with your capabilities at any given time (having a 7 mo old vs. 1 year old, e.g.). And good luck!
lawsuited
Here are my recommendations, in no particular order:
1. Forget about the 14lbs for now (or forever if you want). Eat when you are hungry and buy some blousey tops.
2. Forget Pinterest and simplify the holidays. Order gifts for your kids online, and give everyone else a giftcard. Skip sending out cards this year. Get your cookies from a bakery.
3. Spend all the time you would have spent working out/dieting/crafting/holiday shopping/baking napping instead. If you can swing it, take a day off work before or around the holidays to nap and relax.
Wow
I will echo what others have said about cutting yourself slack, but I also totally understand feeling blah and wanting to lose the weight. I’m in a similar boat (young baby, nursing, and hoping to lose some weight) and it is frustrating when you can’t fit into your clothes. I will also say that I am having a much harder time losing the weight the second time around (and in your case, the third time around).
This is what I have been doing, and it has helped me lose about 5 pounds so far:
1. Writing everything down that I eat on a notebook. Actually writing stuff down makes me more mindful of what I am putting in my mouth. I realized that I was eating a lot of stuff “here and there” — as in, my kids’ leftovers, crappy desserts at work, Ritz crackers….
2. Significant increase in eating fresh fruits/vegetables (i.e.: a couple of servings of fruit, roasted veggies with dinner, etc.). The fiber in veggies ends up filing me up, so I eat less other stuff.
3. Eating more protein (eggs, greek yoghurt)
4. No added sugar to any food (this one is hard)
5. Lots and lots of water, and no calories from liquids
6. Walking during my lunch break (20-30 minutes)
Good luck. :) You’re definitely not alone!!
Frustrated Academic
Wait–you can nurse yourself skinny!?!?! I have a 21-month old boobie monster and I still have a pouch. Give yourself some grace–it’s almost been two years, I only have one and still don’t feel like myself–you have THREE and its only been FIVE months. You are doing great.
PS–who are these people who feel they can comment on tummies or congratulate you because they assume you are pregnant? STFU.
Moonstone
Cut yourself a mile of snack. Nap instead of working out. Scale back holiday commitments as much as possible, except for low-key ones that are fun for the kids. I’m horrified at what the admin said (she could say it to me, too) but I am going to assume she’s just clueless.
Moonstone
Whoa — I mean to type “a mile of slack.” But snack is also OK in this case, I guess.
ANP
Dying. Yes please! I would like a mile of snack :)
Anonymous
Agreed! And with the admin — I would take her aside, and REALLY GENTLY say something like, “you know, I appreciate that you’re excited about a possible pregnancy, but I’m not pregnant and I have 3 kids under 6 at home, so my little tummy is just tired.” If you say it with a smile, it might clue her in that SHE IS SO WRONG TO ASSUME YOU MIGHT BE PREGNANT AND TO MAKE A COMMENT LIKE THAT OMGZ. hashtag, things that make me ragey.
Anon
YES! She will never know that was wrong unless someone tells her.
Away Game
Alternatively, pull her aside and if you can manage to do it politely and professionally (I’m not sure I could in your shoes) just tell her it isn’t professional to comment on bodies in the office, so please refrain from remarks about tummies or anything similar. Add “and oh by the way I’m not pregnant, I have a 5 month old at home” if you want. I wish it were easier to just lay this out clearly, and not hope someone “gets” the more gently worded statement. I struggle with clear and polite but not passive-aggressive sometimes with my own staff on occasion.
Spirograph
Suggestions for a curated box of goodies once a month? Like Birchbox or Stichfix, but neither of those? My friends and I have had fun comparing our stashes every month, but our subscription is ending and we want to try something new. One friend is working hard to lose weight, so non-food is preferred.
(This has probably been discussed recently; a link to the thread would also be welcome.)
Anonymous
I think there’s a jewelry one, RocksBox, but I haven’t tried it. I think there are also coffee/tea subscription boxes, stationary subscription boxes, beauty products (GlossyBox for designer goodies, GoodeBox for eco-friendly/cruelty-free), seeds (for growing your own flowers/plants, see GrowJourney), and Not Another Bill subscription for monthly gifts.
Anon
I used to get birchbox and was kind of meh about it. It felt like I was getting samples like I would get free at Sephora or Nordstrom, but paying for them.
I switched to the Pop Sugar box on a friend’s recommendation and it’s much better. You get full sizes of things, and even if they’re not your taste, they’re great for gifts because they’re real merch, not samples.
I have a 14 year old daughter who immediately steals 80% of it, but I still enjoy getting the goodies every month.
My 12 year old son gets the Loot Box (a birthday present that keeps on giving) and nerdy girls should check that out. It’s pretty cool.
Anon
Correction: Loot Crate for nerdy stuff
lawsuited
If you enjoy beauty, but not Birchbox, try Boxycharm. They do cosmetics, skincare and haircare, and always full-size products. It’s also cheaper than Birchbox.
Anonypotamus
I get popsugar and I love it. It’s on the pricey side, but the stuff is really high quality.
Anonymous
FabFitFun is awesome.
Anonymous
Has anyone gotten extensions put in? I cut my hair recently, and I absolutely hate it.
anonymous
Gift suggestions for husband and father in the below $50 range? Money is a super limiting factor, so extra points for stuff that doesn’t cost anything or costs very little. They’re both kind of minimalists and aren’t into stuff. I would love to give an experience type gift, but everything I think they’d like is way out of my budget, esp. since I’d have to buy two since it’s not so much fun to do a cooking class alone. Both of them like to read but are extremely busy, and really only like functional things. I also don’t think either of them needs anything at the moment. Hobbies for both include travelling, wine…… mostly work, actually.
Especially for my dad I’d like to get him something nice but his buying power far exceeds mine, and I don’t think the act of me giving him stuff is a nontrivial way he feels loved. I could also do something extra nice for them, but I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t do on a regular basis anyway.
Anonymous
Father- framed photo of the two of you together. Small sleek frame.
Husband- are you into fitness? You could do an indoor triathlon or some other fun race together.
anonymous
I’m into fitness. He tries to be. This is an interesting suggestion, thanks!
Framed photo of me and my dad? or me and DH? We just got married, so I was also thinking about giving him a wedding photo
Meg Murry
Did you get any good photos of you and dad at the wedding? Especially something like the father daughter dance? Frame that. Maybe even a double frame with one of you with him as a kid and one at your wedding.
For a functional thing, what about whiskey stones or similar?
For your either, what about cooking a family favorite? For instance, do you have any recipes for cookies your grandmother used to make, etc? My father’s list of favorite Christmas cookies are pretty much the exact opposite of the rest of the family, so we don’t make his favorites very often – so making him walnut cookies or date-nut balls that he knows I don’t like are a way I can say “I love you, Merry Christmas”. Or any other “man food” they like that you don’t especially? For my husband and father, that list would be sauerkraut or anything involving cabbage, jerky or other smoked/dried meats, hot sauces or other things involving peppers, etc.
Anonymous
I get my dad custom gift cards for dunkin donuts (you can upload a picture). He loves them and the people at his DD are always asking to see his next card. I usually do grandchildren pics, but have done random family ones throughout the ages. He’s at the age where he needs nothing and has more $ than I do, but he loves getting these.
Care
Could you take your date on dad-daughter date night for dinner and a movie? I do that a lot as a present for my dad. I pick a movie that my mom doesn’t want to see (usually a superhero movie) and we go to a restaurant she doesn’t like (which is usually cheap – barbeque, burgers, or fried chicken type places). He likes that I’m spending time with just him and he gets to do something he wouldn’t do on a regular day.
Anonymous
So, you sound like you’re describing my dad. He’s big into no new stuff, which makes it hard. My idea for him this year is a play off his recent interest in hiking: good hiking socks and a jump drive with music to listen to on his walks. The music is a combination of stuff I already have, stuff I can download for free from the library, and 2-3 CDs I will buy and rip for him. (So, all in all, about $30-40).
Another idea, if either cooks, what about a 6 no subscription to the Raw Spice Bar delivery box. It would be $36 and not leave extra stuff lying around.
Anonymous
Zicam
cold season
What are your favorite over-the-counter cold remedies?
Anon
Zinc tablets
Emergen-C
Drinking a ton of water and lemon ginger tea
Eating copious quantities of Tom Yum soup or Pho
anon
sleep. Lol.
Mucinex D. Dries you up like the Sahara, and the pseudophedrine gives me a nice little energy boost.
Meg Murry
+1 to a vacation or sick day to sleep, plus hot showers and hot soup.
Cold medicine usually makes me feel worse, not better, so I don’t take it unless I have to – but when I do, I’m going for the real pseudophedrine – nothing else is worth bothering with.
Anonymous
Real pseudophedrine, meaning Sudafed (or the like) without any other active ingredient?
I actually don’t get the purpose of Mucinex D – the whole point of having an expectorant to thin out the mucus so you can expel it, right? Why add an ingredient that’s just going to dry it out? That seems to be two active ingredients working cross-purposes.
anon
I’m not a pharmacist, I just know that this is what makes me feel best. Sudafed makes me feel like I’m floating in my office with my head in a cloud and the rest of my body is merely dangling uselessly below me. No good. The Quil family doesn’t do anything for me and just makes be feel bad.
Wildkitten
The real stuff works like magic for me and the stuff that you can’t make into meth does nothing. Real mucinex is amazing.
Anonymous
Hot tea
Vitamin C drops
Matzo ball soup
tcbinnyc
sliced ginger, big glug of apple cider vinegar, big squeeze of honey, a shake each of cinnamon and turmeric in a mug, topped off with boiling water, stirred together. it’s weird but it works.
ems
that oscicillium tab thing – a little expensive but it works.
also: green smoothies packed with leafy greens and real fruit.
Senior Attorney
For nasal congestion, Zyrtec D. Dries you right up.
mascot
saline rinse using the squeeze bottle instead of the neti pot
So true
You know that gross feeling when you keep snuffling so you can breath but if you blow your nose nothing comes out? Spray some saline spray up your nose while leaning over a sink (some will likely just come right out) and then blow your nose. All that stuff that wouldn’t come out before does. It’s amazing.
Godzilla
Gargle with hot salt water, too.
New Anon
Runny nose: Sudafed. The stuff that you have to get from the pharmacist and sign a no-meth contract. Sudafed PE absolutely does nothing for me. Benadryl at night–helps my nose, and also helps me sleep.
Stuffy nose: Afrin.
No matter what: lots of fluids. Whatever it takes to get you to drink ’em: I just drink water these days, but I used to do Emergen-C. I don’t think the vitamins did much, but having a specified amount to drink a specified number of times per day made sure I consumed a lot of liquid.
Emmer
Does anyone know of a lip balm that contains tea tree oil that you can buy in-store? (I’m in DC). And if you have any recs for such balms, please share!
Belle
Desert Essence, sold at places like Whole Foods or grocery stores with organic beauty sections. Trader Joe’s has generics of their products sometimes.
ohc
I have a similar (wool) dress that I *love* and get a lot of use out of in the winter–a nice neutral plaid feels really versatile to me.
Totally off-topic: has anyone had any experience selling to Replacements? I have a nice set of china that I bought in college for some reason (cause I guess I needed dishes for 12 in my dorm room?) and now it just sits in the basement being pink and flowery and not at all something we use. It seems like they buy from individuals pretty regularly, so I’m wondering if anybody has been through that process.
Anon
Right now would be a great time to try selling it on Craigslist. There are probably plenty of people scrambling for some nice Thanksgiving China.
NC Anon for this
My mom has, and it’s pretty painless. Although to be fair, we live in Greensboro where Replacements is located so she took the pieces there in person. As a company, it’s pretty reputable. Though like consigning clothes, you’re going to only get a fraction of what they will end up charging for the pieces to another person. The idea of selling on Craigslist or eBay is also a good one.
Rogue Banker
Just found out that my only same-level coworker is leaving our team, effective Dec 1.
Our manager is going on paternity leave, effective that same day.
This means that I am running things in our department for the entire month of December, including the ramp-up to our annual compliance audit in January, with little to no support expected from above.
*GULP* Lean-in moment, right?
Anonymous
Totally! Youve got this! Ask a bumch of questions now. Write down the answers. Then do it!
Anon
You can do it! Definitely express that you will need temp admin help to get through this. Obviously they are unlikely to be able to immediately replace your same level co-worker and a new person will take time to get up to speed but temp help from an agency would at least mean that you can focus on the things that only you can do and the admin stuff can get taken care of.
Brunette Elle Woods
It’s a great opportunity to document your accomplishments for a raise/review time!!!
Applying
Tis the season to be looking for jobs! Yesterday I applied for an adjunct professor role at a nearby law school. A few hours later, I saw an older post (that hasn’t been taken down yet, so likely still open) for a full-time role at the same law school working full-time with the students, though not in a teaching capacity. (Though at my law school people in that role would take on a class or two as an adjunct later, as it’s JD-required.) I think I’d prefer the second role better, but I already applied to the first. Should I apply to that one, too saying I applied to another? Withdraw the first one? I don’t want to look like I just applied to anything to see what sticks – I genuinely would enjoy both roles, though one likely more.
ArenKay
Why not apply for both? Academics hiring adjuncts know that they’re hiring people for a very, very part-time position, so even on the off-chance that somebody would know you’re up for both positions, they wouldn’t assume anything off. (Administrators do periodically teach courses for which they’re qualified at universities.) I don’t see a downside.
applying
I thought as much, but should I saw in the Admin one that I applied for the lecturer role and say I want to do both or this one more? Or should I just apply and say nothing until I maybe get an interview?
ArenKay
I only think you need to mention something in the cover letter if it’s pretty clear that the same people will be looking at your application (e.g. the administrative position is in the same department in the law school that you’d be teaching). Otherwise, say nothing if and until someone explicitly asks.
Alternatively, if you think interest in teaching would be a substantive positive for the law school (e.g. they have a heavy use of adjunct for some classes; there’s some overlap in working with students in the classroom and the kind of administration you’d be doing), you could mention it in the letter, but as a casual additional mention. (Something like, “I’m very interested in student support/developing legal education, etc. , and indeed have applied to teach as an adjunct at Your Fine Institution. As needed by YFU, I’d be pleased to offer courses to help with faculty teaching load, and to improve my support of your students.”) Cheesy, but you get the idea. If it would work, getting them to think you’d be a twofer might give you an extra leg up.
Senior Attorney
I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t apply for both. You can say in your cover letter for the second job that you applied for the first, but that you are genuinely interested in both.
All by myself
Looking for suggestions for online support groups for caregivers/family of a parent diagnosed with cancer. Parent is in treatment but expectations are low. I’m already in therapy but my extended family is not providing the support I need and my friends are all at the baby/marriage part of their lives (so supportive, but not really understanding). Has anyone found a good group? Or a bad group to warn me away from? Thanks.
bridget
Can you ask at the hospital that your parent is receiving treatment at (if it is near you)?
Anonymous
If you’re OK with giving up some degree of privacy, I’d look at Facebook – there are a lot of caregiver groups there by disease and support role (spouse, daughter, etc.). Many of the groups are closed or secret so you might hunt around a little. I have found my group to be very helpful and easy to access anytime (versus visiting a random web site’s forums where few people spend time regularly).
Coach Laura
Gilda’s Club! Founded to honor Gilda Radner. I’ve heard great things about the Seattle group but there are others. Some changed their name, sadly, but something to check out. Also agree with contacting the hospital where parent is getting treatment if you’re local. If not, the American Cancer Society has a support group referral page. Sending you good thoughts, that’s a tough road.
FP
Any suggestions for asking for a raise/salary reclassification? Situation: I work alongside one other position, with similar but different responsibilities, but same title (I’m Associate Director of ABC, they are Associate Director of XYZ). AD of XYZ left the office six months ago, and I thought about moving laterally into that open role, and spoke to my boss. Overall I like my responsibilities, so I am staying put, but during that conversation my boss let it slip that the XYZ role is in a higher salary band. I covered the XYZ role for about four months during our busiest season until we hired someone. At this point, since I’m cross trained in both, I want to ask for a raise and to be moved to that salary band. Do I need more ammo than “there is no reason we should be at different salary bands?”
Anonymous
Maybe flush out why you think they should be at the same band, focusing on skills needed, impact for your company/org, and why youre doing a super kick ass job at it. To reclassify you might need to focus on the assigned duties of the role. To get you higher in it, focus on your results!
Meg Murry
Yes, can you look at the job description for the XYZ department and see if there are items in it that might explain being in the next band, and see if those are items you also now do in your current role, even though they might not have been in the job description when you were hired? That might be a way to get you (and your role) moved up to the next pay band.
DC cobbler?
Does anyone know where to get boot shafts tailored in DC? Scared to roll the dice on cobblers.
Wildkitten
I would go to the shoe guy next to Cheryl Lofton. Divine 9 shoes or something. If anyone can do it it’d be him.
New Anon
I’ve been very happy with Corrective Shoe Repair in Dupont Circle, though have never used them for boot shaft tailoring.
New Anon
Sorry, not on the circle–just Dupont neighborhood.
Anonymous
Question for the group – how much does a neat desk matter to you in terms of professionalism? I don’t routinely lose things or shuffle through piles with an audience, and my piles are small, but I wonder how much I’m dinged for this in people’s eyes.
CountC
My desk is a hot mess during the day as I am a spreader outer, but I always clean it and leave it bare at the end of the day. I assume people think my desk is messy because I am working hard, but I honestly don’t care. My boss doesn’t appear to care, so I am not terribly bothered by what other people think about it!
opinion
Given how many highly successful and accomplished and successful men and women have messy workspaces, I don’t think it’s a ding at all. In fact, I think it can sometimes convey “very busy and important” or “disorganized genius.” Not a bad thing.
Unlike cutesy office supplies, which in my book is a huge no, unless you are a very successful partner/c-suite exec. (See discussion above). Cutesy office supplies for a fourth-year associate reads “not serious.” Cutesy office supplies for a rainmaking partner (e.g., there was partner at my old firm who was a huge rainmaker and she had — no kidding — all-pink stationery and fluff pens) reads “I don’t give a f*** about what people think.” Which in turn makes her more awesome.