Cosmetic Surgery and the Office

breast reduction coworkers.indexedHow do you deal with cosmetic surgery (breast reduction, breast enlargement, nose jobs, etc) at the office?  What do you tell coworkers? Reader D wonders…

I have a question about dealing with a very sensitive issue at work. I will be having breast reduction surgery at the end of the summer and don’t know how to deal with questions from my coworkers. I will be out of the office for a week and will look noticeably different when I return. The surgery itself doesn’t concern me, I’m actually very excited about it, but the thought of answering all those prying questions, or just dealing with people’s observations, is making me very anxious. I would love to hear people’s thoughts on this one.

Congrats on your upcoming surgery, D — may it be everything you want it to be, both in terms of pain reduction, lifestyle, and appearance.  As a fellow, ahem, curvy girl myself, I feel your pain.  I’m curious to hear what readers say about this one, but a few thoughts:

  • Grow a thick skin regarding your coworkers.  (Put another way: F’em.)   People may make judgments or opinions on you based on this surgery, sure, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.  The people you’re working with right now will either understand or they won’t, and there’s nothing you can do about that.  If you’re more comfortable being able to answer questions about it, come up with a few lines about your surgery that either vaguely address the surgery/your absence (“Thanks, I feel great — my lower back is in so much less pain!”) or directly address the surgery (perhaps in clinical terms?).  Ultimately, it’s inappropriate for your coworkers to make comments about your body, and that is something you should feel free to remind people about.  Honestly, my guess is that the men you work with will not want to touch this subject with a ten foot pole.

Ok, that’s really only one thought.  I suppose it’s also possible for you to do a gradual change using padding — for example, if you’re currently a 34H and you’ll be a 34D after the surgery, buy one bra for each cup size difference… after you surgery wear a 34G for a while stuffed with padding, then switch to a 34F after week or two, and so forth.  People will still probably eventually realize you had breast reduction surgery, but may ask less questions about it.  But ultimately, I think you’re in for a day or two (tops, a week) of awkward questions, and after that you’ll be fine.

Readers, what are your thoughts about breast reduction surgery? Does your answer change if it’s something purely cosmetic?

(Pictured:  Personal photo, circa 1981 or so.  All rights reserved.)

Comments

  1. Drawing solely off of my own observations in the workplace: no one comments (or, no one comments negatively) about a reduction, and everyone talks about an enlargement.

  2. My own experience is more that what may seem like an enormous difference to you won’t be to your coworkers. Presumably, you’re dressed at work at all times :-). But I know a friend of mine got the same last year and even though we’d talked about it at length beforehand I totally forgot when I did see her. Your breasts are not scrutinized as much as you think, mercifully. And most people won’t be able to see what any noticeable change was about – you may get a lot of “new haircut” comments. In fact, if you want to be discreet, you should book yourself for a new haircut while you’re out, and everything will be attributed to that :-).
    What people will wonder about will be the time off. So if you don’t want to share, feel free to invent something, especially something totally non-medical. That’ll take care of most of the gossip.

  3. InHouseUpNorth :

    I’ve actually had reduction surgery twice. In the weeks following my surgeries I was pretty swollen so the results weren’t immediately apparent. As the swelling subsided and the results began to gradually show, people just started commenting that I looked like I was losing weight. I don’t think anyone made the connection that I’d had surgery and if they did, they didn’t say anything to me. Even if people have suspicions that you may have had surgery, I doubt they will come right out and ask. Good luck – hope it all goes smoothly!

    • Bacon pancakes :

      Same. When I had a breast reduction, no one really noticed the particular spot where I had “lost” the weight, just that I looked slimmer. It helped a lot that the reduction allowed me to exercise more freely, so I did actually lose more weight shortly after!

      Unfortunately I gained it all back. It’s all those delicious bacon pancakes.

      • Bacon pancakes :

        Note: I lost 3.5 pounds out of each breast, so it really counts as weight lost!

      • Veronique :

        I knew someone in college who had a breast reduction. She had it done during the summer, and it just looked like she had lost a bunch of weight over several months. I didn’t realize that she had them reduced until someone told me.

        • Yes, this – a friend had a reduction and she just looked like she’d lost a ton of weight, not that her breasts were a different size. After the reduction she felt more comfortable dressing in clothing that showed her shape (as opposed to dressing to hide her breasts), so the switch from looser-fitting clothing was more noticeable than any particular change in her body.
          Good luck and I hope you feel great afterward!

      • I had exactly the same experience. The part that was more difficult was in explaining exactly why I couldn’t lift things, bend a lot, whatever.

    • Anonymous :

      I had the opposite procedure done (augmentation) over a holiday. I wore baggier tops for a while. No one said a word. If they were talking about me behind my back, I was blissfully unaware. I really just think people don’t pay that much attention to your boobs.

  4. Anonymous :

    My mom had implants for years and had them removed (and not replaced). People commented that she’d lost weight. I don’t think they were just being polite. I think they really assumed she lost weight.

  5. Killer Kitten Heels :

    I have a friend who had this surgery a few years ago, and no one commented at all on the change in her chest size. The only indirect comment anyone made was to ask if she’d lost weight (she replied with a simple “yes” to anyone she wasn’t comfortable telling about the surgery).

    • Killer Kitten Heels :

      I should add that she had the surgery done during a time period when it was common at her office for folks to be out on vacation (school break around Easter), so most people either (a) didn’t realize she was out at all; or (b) assumed she was on a regular, non-medically-related vacation like everyone else, which I think helped with no one really noticing.

    • I had a similar experience – when I was in high school a friend got reduction surgery. Even though I knew she was going to have the surgery, I didn’t actually notice once it had happened. She just looked slightly slimmer.

  6. Hive, sorry for the very early TJ, but I need a gut check. My husband and I have been having some money problems, mostly due his mismanagement. We have split the bills so that we each pay an equal amount (salaries are roughly equal), and I pay mine and he pays his and that’s it.

    Anyway, about 5 years ago I stopped allowing him cards on my credit cards, because he would use them for (not small) purchases and not tell me. So that stopped, and I thought over the past several years I had impressed upon him that things like that need to be cleared with me BEFORE he does it, as these are my accounts. He can do whatever he wants with his accounts.

    After all these years, I decided we could have a joint bank account. I use it to deposit my paychecks into and use it as my primary account, but we will also use it for “joint” purchases, sometimes, and he just deposits money in to do that. Last week, I got my quarterly bonus. It was small because I have not been with this firm for very long, but I put all of it into my savings account. I checked it this morning and $2400 was missing. My husband took it out because he was that short on the mortgage payment (he pays mortgage and 1 other bill, I pay the rest and it adds up to roughly the same). He didn’t tell me, or even ask. I have enough money in my checking account to cover everything I’m planning on paying out, but I schedule a few credit cards to be paid off since I am on a debt elminating crusade.

    So I’ve had it. This has been a pattern over the past 10 years, and as far as money is concerned I’ve had to treat him like a kid and restrict his access to protect our finances. This feels like a total violation of my trust, almost like a theft.

    I’m ready to ask him to find another place to stay for at least a few days. Am I overreacting? Should I just resign myself to a life where I must always be the gatekeeper of the money? (I have report his ATM card as lost and asked for a new one to be mailed, which has effectively frozen the cash from the ATM option. I transferred all of the rest of the money to my old account at another bank with only my name on it. )

    Other than money issues, we really have no issues. I do love him and we have been together almost 15 years, but I find myself wanting to be free of these trust issues. I feel like, even though I love him, the trust is utterly gone and I don’t know how to react to that. We don’t have kids, but he would like some and I feel like if I can’t trust just a simple think like our checking account to him, why should I trust him with kids?

    • Have you guys tried counseling? This would have brought me to counseling way before the most recent violation. Sounds like there are major trust issues, misaligned goals/expectations, etc. etc.

    • Therapy, stat.

      I can’t imagine, I’m livid for you! Bottom line, he doesn’t respect you and you don’t trust him. Neither of those are qualities that are healthy for a relationship, so you both have to figure out why you’re having such a hard time working this out.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      Sounds like you need to actively take control over all the money and you both need to overhaul the system you’ve been using. There have been some discussions here in the past on combined finances and responsibilities that might be helpful for ideas. It really sounds like you guys need to communicate about it a lot more. Regularly. I know you say your relationship is fine other than this, but in my opinion this is a really big issue. Especially since you’re so frustrated, have lost trust in him, and are scared about the future of all this.

      Check out some old Suze Orman episodes on iTunes (they’re free podcasts). She regularly has guests on who are going through the same thing.

      • “Sounds like you need to actively take control over all the money and you both need to overhaul the system you’ve been using. ”

        I agree from a purely practical perspective, but that’s not going to help the marriage. There are far, far bigger issues here.

        • Sydney Bristow :

          I totally agree. I’m better with the practical side of things sometimes so that is what I was focused on.

    • Houston Attny :

      Oh wow. I completely understand and agree with your statement that it feels like theft. It feels like theft because it is. I can’t imagine thinking it’s OK to take out that amount of money without, at the very least, a text with a heads-up.

      I wonder if he does not understand how his inability to manage his money and to be trusted with “our” money undermines your ability to trust him in other areas. It seems he does not get that money issues are one of his issues, no? Are you interested in counseling and seeing if there can be a lightbulb moment for him?

      A few weeks or months ago, someone in the comments on this site said in response to a lady whose husband had told her the night before he wanted a divorce something to the effect of, “he is not acting with your best interest at heart right now.” I thought those were incredibly powerful words and, unfortunately, seem to apply here because he is not acting with your best interest in mind. And, I think, if that doesn’t change, it’ll be hard to make it work in the longrun. Maybe counseling can help you decide that.

    • Diana Barry :

      Have you talked to him about the $$ missing from the account? What was his reaction?

      For the people I know who are married to spendthrifts, they make it work by (1) being the gatekeeper of the money; (2) having the spendthrift deposit everything (or almost everything, minus some fun money) in the joint account; and (3) right away, immediately taking out almost all of the $$ from the joint account to the bill-paying account. So the spendthrift person only has access to his/her fun money. The gatekeeper spouse pays all the bills and handles all the savings.

      • I am kind of the “spendthrift” spouse, although not to this extent and I make most of the money, so I wouldn’t be stealing from him, but from us (which is as bad). Long, long ago, we set it up so that both of our paychecks go into our joint account, which my husband runs. He pays all the bills. I do have a debit card, but I essentially never use it, and I don’t have a checkbook. I get $500 a month deposited into a different account from which all of my “free money” is supposed to go. So I can do whatever I want with that–lunches, save up for shoes, etc. We do have joint credit cards, but we have a loose rule that I will consult on anything over a certain amount. I am really bad about leaving my personal debit card in a blazer pocket or something and so using our joint cards for Starbucks or lunch. My husband keeps a running tab that I am theoretically supposed to pay back, but we generally let it slide. I think total in all the years of our marriage, I haven’t “stolen” the aggregate of $2400.

        I think the big difference is that I’m not necessarily bad with money. I’m bad with tracking it. I don’t balance my checkbook for my personal account. I just get a text if it’s below a certain amount. My husband is uber budget man. So, it’s not really a money issue for us. It’s trying to be respectful of his huge efforts in maintaining our household budget and recognizing that my behavior makes that more difficult. If I get to the point where I want more than $500 a month, then we should have that discussion. I shouldn’t just take a few thousand from the joint account.

        I’m rambling, but wanted to give you the perspective that even as the “less fiscally responsible” person in a marriage, I’m horrified on your behalf by your husband’s behavior. I would suggest therapy. There may be other issues with how he feels about money and power associated with money that lead to this behavior.

      • Yes, I confronted him, and his excuse was that I had kind of a long and stressful day Monday and was out late with clients on Tuesday. Nothing in my week was that stressful – just normal things – and I have been quite happy the past few weeks because work is going really well.

        After a few text messages from me consisting of basically “why is $2400 missing from my account” and “this feels like theft to me, you could have asked me before and I likely would have been fine with it,” I got this response: “I know the lack of honesty has really pushed you to the edge. I don’t know why I haven’t been more forthcoming with what I need to talk to you about.”

        Basically, in my head, my response is, “well that’s nice, but it is a chronic problem that has totally wiped out my ability to trust you.” He swears the money will be back in by tomorrow.

        I’m totally up for therapy – in fact, I’ve done quite a bit of therapy over the years both by myself, and with him, and it never seems to quite work. Every time, he convinced himself that it was “just this one time” or “just this one slip up.” Except they keep happening.

        I’m totally happy being the gatekeeper. I THOUGHT that was the arrangement we had…but I see letting his name be on my new account was a huge mistake. I just don’t like the idea of having a partner that I not only have to be the gatekeeper in a theoretical, money flow control way with, but a literal gatekeeper in that he can’t even have access to those things. Not even a joint account. Nothing with his name. What kind of existence is that, other than a very real manifestation of our lack of trust?

        • Not trying to over-analyze here, but this statement tells me that perhaps he’s got more to say to you than he has let on.

          “I know the lack of honesty has really pushed you to the edge. I don’t know why I haven’t been more forthcoming with what I need to talk to you about.”

          • Anonymous :

            +1, especially since out-of-control spending that keeps happening again after swearing off often is a sign of substance abuse/addiction. Either way, I’m sorry.

          • Sydney Bristow :

            Yes. Has he explained what he spent the money on? $2400 is a pretty big chunk of money to spend in a month (to me at least) and how is it just going to appear in the account tomorrow?

          • $2400 is a lot of money. Secret gambling problem?

          • Yeah, that was what I read that as. I’d worry that if he can’t be trusted with money, he might also be doing things like taking out credit cards or loans you don’t know about that could affect your credit/end up with you owing money, because you are married.

          • The $2400 was spent on the mortgage. I can see that it was paid immediately after. He may have more to say, but we shall see tonight.

            He runs a small business, and is really horrible about over committing on projects. He will take on a project, get the deposit, maybe staff up too much and have to spend money that should have been for materials on payroll, and then have to dip into his own paycheck to cover it. He’s really bad about that, and we have a part time book keeper, but that’s not enough, clearly. He is always overly optimistic about which accounts he has coming in, and which clients are going to pay when. When he has a client go past 45 days…its a problem.

            It isn’t substance abuse. I know, I know, everyone thinks they know that – but I grew up in a household where substance abuse was completely rampant, so I really would know. Not to mention the fact that he just did a blood test for his life insurance and I saw the results, which was negative for all substances.

            Meara, you’re very right about his possibly taking out credit I don’t know which could really be a problem. This happened right before we were married. I was home and he was served with a collection action. He swore it was his one mistake from being young and dumb, but my gut told me “WHOA, you are married to a lawyer, you know better….and why didn’t you ask me for help?” So you are all right. This is a symptom of something else…not substance abuse, not gambling…but something.

            Power struggle? Not liking that I work full time? Feeling that he should be in control, even though he is organizationally challenged? We’ve got some drama going on with the in-laws, maybe that’s it. I have no idea. It is certainly something going on in his brain that doesn’t add up.

          • Sydney Bristow :

            I meant why was he short $2400 on the mortgage payment? If I’m reading this correctly, he would have spent $2400 over the past month (since the last mortgage payment) in order to be short that much if his income was the same as it usually is.

            Do try to talk with him about it. His answer definitely sounds like there is more to it.

          • Killer Kitten Heels :

            Reactive, I know this is way late, and I don’t want to be all alarmist about it, but you are literally describing my father – owned his own small business, overextending constantly because he thought he was going to make more than he actually did in a given month, completely irresponsible with money, and unwilling to discuss it. He has spent the last 29 years bleeding my mother dry – he has pillaged their retirement accounts, cleaned out every joint account they ever had, run up tens of thousands of dollars in personal and business credit card debt when my mother eventually took away his access to the joint money, hidden income from my mother, not paid taxes required for his business (which led to my mother covering HUGE tax bills every April for several years until he lost the business entirely). There was nothing left for me and my siblings when we went to college, because dad’s entire income was wrapped up in paying off his personal debt, and mom was left supporting the household by herself. He needs to work this out with you with a marriage counselor or therapist, or you’re in for a tough road.

        • Killer Kitten Heels :

          If you’re convinced he can’t (or won’t) change this aspect of himself, then I think it’s time to decide what that means for you – are you comfortable being the literal gatekeeper forever? (It sounds like you aren’t.) Is he going to “let you” be the gatekeeper forever (meaning he’s not going to start hiding money in a personal account, attempt to conceal income by lying to you about the value of raises/bonuses so that he doesn’t have to hand his money over, etc.)? Is this indicative of a larger attitude problem, or is it just this one thing that he can’t seem to get his head on straight about? Personally, I don’t think I could deal with this, but that’s because of the financial instability I grew up with. Others might feel differently.

        • You know, if you really are fine with him on all other levels, it sounds like you could work out something so you’re insulated from his financial flakiness. Don’t think about it as being a gatekeeper, but more as manager of joint money. Figure out what he needs to be paying every month for joint expenses, and make sure you get it. Maintain 2 accounts, one for yourself and one for the joint expenses, don’t give him access to either (except exceptionally to the joint one). Contribute as much to the joint one as he does, nothing more, not unless it’s a proper loan agreed to in advance and you get it reimbursed in a short amount of time.

          The main problem here seems to be the fact that you’re married. Are you in a joint property deal? If so, your financial future is at risk. You may need to get a divorce, seriously, even if you keep happily living together. Maybe you should consider a divorce followed by re-marriage with an ironclad contract of financial separation? Consult another lawyer :-), check out your options..

        • Some good people are REALLY.BAD.WITH.MONEY. If there’s enough love in the relationship, it might be something that can be worked past with the gatekeeper system and therapy. And him working on building your trust.

    • Killer Kitten Heels :

      I have to agree with the therapy recommendations – you could be describing an episode straight out of my parents’ marriage (which they’re now 29 years into), and I can tell you from watching my dad growing up that: (a) he will not change, because he doesn’t see anything wrong with handling money this way; and (b) it’s likely you *won’t* be able to trust him with other things, especially when kids come along, because his actions with money are indicative of a broader attitude of “I don’t have to do anything or deal with anything until the last possible minute and even then my wife will probably bail me out if I fail to ::insert kid-related task here::”.

      My dad is not a reliable person – the money issues were the big red flag telling my mom that early on, but she was so independent and needed so little of him before I was born that she didn’t notice/didn’t think it mattered/thought he made up for it enough in other ways. Your H is unreliable at best, and dishonest at worst – a good couples therapist will hopefully be able to help him see that and help you both work through this. This is a serious problem – don’t be afraid to take it seriously.

    • No more joint accounts. You already have a system where you split who pays bills, rather than having them all paid out of a joint account, so there’s no real need.

      Your husband clearly sees everything in the joint account as fair game (why did Reactive put the bonus into the joint account if she wasn’t OK with me using it?) so put a stop to it.

      Money is a MAJOR thing but at the same time don’t make it bigger than it is – telling him to find a place to stay ratchets things up to a level you might not want.

    • anon prof :

      way late reply, sorry, but hopefully you subscribed to comments. I am not a lawyer. My understanding is that you are responsible for any personal debt he takes on, and depending on exactly how it is structured, potentially any business debt as well. So you should be very concerned about this–his debt is your debt, your credit is tied to his credit. I don’t have any good suggestions for what you should do, sorry, but you might want to talk with an attorney or an accountant if you are not one and try to get a very clear grasp of his finances now and going forward.

  7. Breast reduction was probably one of the best decisions I ever made in my life? I did it during a school vacation senior year of high school, and I was pretty open about it if people asked. Most people probably won’t notice, and those who do probably won’t comment unless they’re your BFF or family. However, like Killer Kitten Heels said earlier in the thread, most of the comments were just “you look like you’ve lost weight” or “did you get a hair cut” or “that shirt looks really good on you.” No one flat-out said “wow you’re boobs are 3.5 pounds smaller each!!!!!”

    Word of advice (and maybe TMI): After you’re out of the post-surgery dressings, you’ll want to put gauze along the suture lines until they’re fully healed (around the bottom, from the bottom to the nipple, and around the nipple) in case they … um … leak. I definitely sacrificed a shirt or two to the breast reduction gods before I learned that trick.

  8. Anon in NYC :

    Realistically, I’m not sure most people would notice a reduction specifically. People will probably notice that something is “different” but won’t know what it is.

    I think you can apply a lot of the “how can I conceal my pregnancy” tips to this situation to mitigate any questioning or observations because, again, a lot of people won’t even notice. For instance, wear blazers and cardigans more frequently when you first return to work. Make sure you have work clothes that fit your new chest size and have an appropriately high neckline because a baggy or too tight/low neckline area will draw attention to the change.

    I have to say, I rarely/never ask any of my coworkers about a medical procedure or doctors appointment. It’s none of my business, and I feel really awkward doing so. I’m assuming that you’re going to have to tell coworkers that you’ll be out for surgery or a medical procedure. If people directly ask leading up to the surgery and you don’t want to tell them about it, I would just say, “it’s a routine procedure, but I should be back on my feet in about a week.” Then just stop and smile. Most people will leave it at that. If somebody is particularly nosy just say, “I don’t really want to get into the gory details, but it isn’t that big of a deal.” Once you’re back people will ask how you’re doing. In that instance I would just respond cheerfully and say that you’re doing fine.

  9. I’m getting implants in a few weeks and I’m coming up with humorous excuses in case anyone at work is rude enough to approach me with a generic comment of “You look different.” And trust me, the change will be noticeable.

    Some ideas I’ve come up with: “Must be the new (glasses, haircut, blouse, etc) — it just brings out my best features, don’t you think?” There are also variations of “The doctor says it’s a severe allergic reaction to ___ and the swelling should go down in a few days.” I also plan on blank stares and pretending to have no idea what differences people are referring to.

    This isn’t because I’m worried about what people might say either to my face or behind my back; I just think that going from an A cup to a C will make it very obvious what I was doing during the week I was out, so anyone crass enough to mention it is not going to get the reaction from me they were hoping for.

    • Anon For This :

      I’m also a (very small) A cup and have been tempted to get implants. Do you mind if I ask how you came to this decision?

      • Simply put, I’m tired of nothing fitting right.

        I have several family members who have had the surgery so I was lucky enough to be able to ask women how they felt 10 or 20 years after the initial surgery, as well as talk to those who had recently had it. I spent a few weeks reading on the different kinds of procedures and implants and find out who does them in my area, but really I’ve known for well over a decade that this was something I wanted to do…it was just a mater of timing.

      • I went from AA to a small C with saline implants. I love them. Clothes fit me; strapless dresses are now an option. After years of padding, I don’t think anyone noticed a dramatic change, but I felt different as a person. For me, it was about feeling feminine. I’d never felt womanly before. With all due respect to M-C’s comment below, it really did change the way I saw myself, and it isn’t something as simple as a haircut. I found an experienced surgeon who made sure that we chose a size that was proportional to my frame, and it was a quick procedure under local anesthesia with conscious sedation (e.g. same as wisdom tooth extraction). The risks are relatively small, and the pain was minor.

        • i’m also an AA and have been contemplating augmentation for years, for the same reasons as you described. i used to joke that i’d wait until i got knocked up/breast-feeding but seeing that THAT situation may not be coming up anytime in the near future, i would love to look/feel more womanly.

          i live in the bay area, CA. how do i go about finding a good surgeon? does anyone have any referrals? i anticipate doing A LOT of careful research, but i’d love a little help along the way :) thanks…

    • You’d be surprised. Unless you wear tight or revealing tops, nobody will say anything more than the above comments on hair or make-up. Trust me. Even those who know about my surgery often forget about it!

    • I went A to C and surprisingly didn’t get many comments or second takes. The size looks pretty natural on me and people who have finally asked have just kind of been like, “have you always had boobs?” like they just assume they never noticed before!

      • Mind you, I think this pretty universal lack of reaction should make those of you who think your life will be transformed by implants consider whether it’s truly worth putting yourselves through so much pain (and risk) for something that nobody will notice. Try a good haircut first :-).

  10. Don’t stress! I had a breast reduction (a quite noticeable one) and people just thought I had lost some weight and was looking good (or at least that’s all they said to me).

  11. Seriously? :

    I’m no expert, but isn’t it sexual harassment for someone to comment on or allude to your breast size in the work place? This isn’t rocket science. Don’t engage and if any comment is made, talk to HR.

    • I’m no expert, either, but I think it is rude to make a comment. It’s harassment to do it repeatedly or to suggest that it has some bearing on your ability to keep your job.

    • Killer Kitten Heels :

      Maybe this is because I’ve generally worked in larger companies where going to HR is considered to be a big hairy deal, but going to HR after one comment seems a bit excessive to me.

  12. single gal :

    thanks for all the helpful comments. This will also apply for cases of breast reconstruction.

  13. Anonymous :

    I had a breast reduction about 2 years ago. People knew I was out for a surgery but I never mentioned what it was for and no one asked. Also, BLESS THEM–afterwards not one co-worker commented on my appearance or asked why I’d been gone. I bet it’s going to be a non-issue, as long as your office is populated by polite, halfway professional people.

  14. Anonymous :

    I just scheduled surgery for myself and I am not concerned at all about people asking, but I’m beyond thrilled to hear that it will simply look like I’m slimmer. I’ve had disproportionately large breasts for most of my life (save 12 years) and I cannot wait for this.

  15. One of my colleagues had reduction surgery about a year ago. I can’t say for certain whether anyone made comments to her, other than an occasional “you look great!” I think overall we were just happy for her, because we knew she’d feel tremendous relief!

  16. Sleep study :

    A couple of posters have talked about benefiting from sleep studies in the past and I wanted some help and advice from them or others.
    My toddler has been asked to do a sleep study. Symptoms: she breathes through her mouth a lot especially when she has a cold, has a high heart rate and uneven breathing at night. The breathing doesnt seem to have long pauses as far as I’ve seen, but is heavy and loud (and often through her mouth) nevertheless.
    I think a sleep study would drive her nuts. She hates being poked and prodded and even the doctor looking in her ears is enough to get her screaming mad. I doubt she would even stop screaming, let alone go to sleep, with all those monitors on her. Any advice? Should we wait until she is a bit older? While I know her lungs and heart are working hard, and there may be long term effects, she wont even be eligible for the cure (surgery, tonsillitis etc.) before she is older. I am trying to weigh the pros and cons in doing the study, and while we can probably afford it, anecdotally it sounds like its expensive as well.

    • Migraine Sufferer :

      My son just had tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. His tonsils gave him sleep apnea and the sleep disturbance was greatly affecting his behavior. We passed on a sleep study since it seemed pointless and we knew we wanted a T&A anyways. If your daughter can’t have surgery until she is older, what is the point of doing the sleep study now? Have you seem an ENT? The difference in behavior has been remarkable for us. He is sleeping soundly and we are very glad we had the procedure done.

    • I’m with Migraine, if you can’t do anything serious about it now I don’t see any point at all in doing something which would work much better with some patient cooperation.. Consider also that many/most kids have some ENT changes as they grow, that’s why most adults don’t get ear infections any more, so the problem may correct itself just from growing a bit.

  17. I had implants last summer and I work in a small office – just me and eight guys! Fortunately I was comfortable enough with my boss to tell him a few days in advance. He asked all the right questions and was very supportive and I also let him be responsible for telling the rest of the team while I was out so there weren’t any awkward stares, whispers/wonders or flat-out intrusive questions (although that’s not really the style of any of the guys). It’s wasn’t as big of a deal as I made it out to be ahead of time.

  18. single gal :

    breast surgery is a sensitive topic for some, so I think that we should just comment on that – not about your relationships or your kid’s sore throat. Just sayin. :-)

  19. Just to add to all the other comments, I don’t think anyone will notice. Two friends had this surgery and no one could tell. Like everyone else said, most people either didn’t notice or attributed to weight loss. I actually forgot about it with one friend who had it done when we were in college and when she mentioned it, I had a total, “whoa – you did have that done” moment!
    Good luck with the surgery. Focus on getting through it in the best way, not on your coworkers.

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