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From the category archives:

Careerism

Today’s e-mail is from J, who has a question about bold hair choices and job interviews…

I’m a public policy grad student, graduating in May and applying for jobs all over the place , but many in DC (employers range from government-level, to think-tanks, to smaller non-profits). I am 22. Right now I am pretty average-looking: short, white, size 2, brown hair slightly longer than shoulder-length in a well-maintained cut. I found out this week that my close family friends’ seven-year-old daughter has been diagnosed with leukemia. The girl and I are very close, and I think of her like my sister, so obviously I’m torn up about this. Her mom says she looks up to me, and I know I influence her behavior so I try to be a good role model. She’s going to be getting chemo, the whole nine yards, and I am anticipating that she’ll have a hard time if she loses her hair. I’m thinking about shaving my head to support her. Now I’ll be honest and say that I’ve never had short hair, let alone shaved it before, and I do have some issues about the whole thing — but none of them outweigh my desire to to do something concrete to help the girl. However, my question is, do you think a shaved head would affect my chances at getting a job? Would it be likely to freak an employer out? Any general thoughts?

Wow. We have a lot of thoughts on this, and we’re sure our readers will have more. We’ll try to put our thoughts in a cogent order…

First: Our hearts go out to your sick friend, to her family, and to you.  Words can’t properly express how strongly we hope she gets better.
Second: We get what you want to do with the shaved head — words can’t express it, and to shave your head along with her and show solidarity with her — this is a Good Thing that you want to do.  A few further thoughts:

  • It sounds like your friend has not yet lost her hair — we are unsure of how quickly a chemo patient loses their hair, or how definite hair loss is.  (Background: a  good friend of ours endured a lot of chemo when we were around 19, and she didn’t lose hardly any of her hair.)  And so you may be jumping the gun a bit to get your head shaved immediately.
  • Do you see the girl often enough?  It sounds as if you do — but if you only see her once every 3 months, you may want to reconsider, even though your gesture is incredibly magnanimous.
  • Would you keep it shaved throughout her treatment?  Or would you let it grow out after shaving it?

Third: Ah, yes, the job thing. There’s no way around it, your job interviewers will DEFINITELY notice a shaved head.  But:

  • Anyone with a heart will sympathize with your reasons for doing it.  So long as your job is behind the scenes, hopefully the person will look beyond your hair.
  • If your job is NOT behind the scenes, or if Important People visit the office where you’ll be working on a regular basis, you may want to prepare yourself — this may not be a job that you will get, unless the person in charge thinks they are running a young, hip shop (whether it be a think tank or a non-profit).  Some people simply will not want an underling who makes more of an impact than they do.
  • It will be your resume and transcript that wins you the interview — so your bald head won’t be an issue until then.
  • On the interview:  You should think about how to explain your bald head in the interview.  We think a bald head does need to be explained, both because a) the interviewer might worry that you are sick yourself, and you should dissuade those fears, and b) this act of shaving your head says a lot about who you are — it speaks to your loyalty, your strength, your sense of self — and these are all good things that interviewers should know. (A quick tip — you might want to simplify the story and just say “my 7-year-old sister” and leave it at that, unless the interviewer delves further.)*

Fourth:  You are young. This is the time to shave your head, or dye your hair blue, or otherwise take fashion and beauty risks. Hair is a great place to take these risks, because it grows out and is back to normal in short order.  Give yourself at least a few years until you force yourself to play it safe.

Fifth: We have less coherent thoughts on this, but as a stream:  We have a number of guy friends who shaved their heads rather than deal with dwindling hair (or because they thought it looked cool).  We have had friends who actually did suffer hair loss because of chemo and had no choice but to rock the bald look.  We also know some very fashionable women who shaved their heads just because they thought it complimented their bone structure (and we’re sure we’ve seen at least, like, 3 models on America’s Next Top Model get it done.)  A bald head really should not be a big deal.

We’ve spent limited time on the DC scene, though, so we asked a friend of ours who worked at numerous places (and was fairly powerful) before she left for greener pastures.  Her thoughts:

My first instinct is that they may look at her and form (ignorant) opinions right away.  My second thought is that it’s a good conversation starter for her and shows a side of her that demonstrates commitment, which is an attractive quality for a job applicant.  However, for # 2 to work, she has to come up with a great way to open up the reason for her hair pretty quick into each interview.  … Also, I’d say that if an interviewer judges her by her hair, she probably wouldn’t want to spend the majority of her waking hours with those people anyway.

All right, readers — what are your thoughts?

* UPDATE: Geez, commenters are going nuts over our suggestion that she simplify her explanation as much as possible.  We stand by our advice to come up with a quick, easy way to explain your baldness, and be open to talking about the issue more if the interviewer wants to.  This shouldn’t be the focus of the interview, though.  We totally disagree that saying her friend is her “sister” is a Lie in the capital L sense of the word — which should never be done in a job interview, obviously, and perhaps “cousin” would have been better suggestion. But: either way it could be explained further, very easily and quickly, if the interviewer wanted to talk about it.

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{ 84 comments }

We’ve wondered about this for a while as well, so reader J’s question strikes us as particularly interesting…

After an interview, everyone knows that it is good manners to send a perfunctory “Thank You” note. However, is it still recommended that the “Thank You” note be a hand-written note sent through snail mail or is it equally appropriate to send a “Thank You” after an interview via email? I am old-fashioned and still send a hand-written note on nice Crane & Co. stationary, however, an email “thank you” would certainly get there faster. I am not sure what is considered appropriate these days!? Any thoughts??

First, we would say that the thank-you note should be far from perfunctory — it reinforces what you spoke about in the interview, why you’re qualified for the job, and allows you to clarify anything that you worry came across poorly.  (Pictured:  Orange notecards, 25 thermographed notecards for $152 at Fine Stationery.)

That said, we’re sort of torn on how to send your interviewer their thank-you note. For us, it mostly comes down to a question of time (we are masters of the 7th-day thank you, which is just about the longest you can wait to send one). For the most part, then, we have done e-mail thank yous at least since 2003 or so. We have made exceptions for that, however. For example — a few years ago this author had a coffee catch-up with a man who has been a guiding force in my career since before grad school, the uncle of a friendly colleague, who happened to be working in my dream job. He and I have only met a few times over the past decade — I doubt he would recognize me on the street, even! — but his advice has not steered me wrong. We met for coffee, and again he gave invaluable advice, and I decided to send him a personal, hand-written thank-you note. As I was writing it out, it suddenly felt weird — my handwriting looked so messy on the page. My personalized stationery, normally reserved for Grandma and aunts, suddenly felt too “too.” It all felt maybe a little too… emotional. Girly. Not professional. Still, I struggled past these concerns and sent him the thank-note by mail.

Cut to 2 years later and I was trying to find our last correspondence to meet with him, and was alarmed to find no thank-you note in my e-mail files. Had I not sent one? It was only a very visual memory of dropping the note in a mailbox that jarred my memory. He never mentioned the note, so I have no idea what he thought about it (if anything). Still, that was the experience with the note. So our $.02 is to send the thank-you note by e-mail: gets there quicker, you know it was received, and you have a record for your files of what you sent.

But readers, what has your experience been? Let’s take a poll… and please comment below.

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{ 113 comments }

We got this question from reader C, and it struck us as an interesting topic…

I have an article/poll idea: How much do Corporette readers donate to non-profits and which types of non-profits?  I tend to donate $25-100 to all of my alumni associations (high school, college, law school), and then I have an assortment of other causes I like to support.  I also support friends who are raising money for causes or running for office.  My biggest donations go to organizations of which I sit on the board of trustees.

I’m very curious about what percentage of their salaries Corporette readers donate to non-profits.  Also, do people donate strategically, e.g., for networking or business development purposes?  I tend to feel guilty about some big-ticket fashion purchases when I think of all the needy non-profits out there, so I know this is relevant to your subject matter!  Also, given how popular your posts on finances have been, I think this might be an interesting topic for your readers.
We suspect the answer will be deeply personal to each person, so we’re going to do this as an open thread.  For our $.02, research is what generally slows us down in terms of charitable donations.  We’ve heard that oftentimes charities take a lot (like 80-90%) for administrative costs, and the money doesn’t actually go to the cause — so the question is always, which charity?  Most of our charitable giving tends to happen to the same causes that we’ve donated to in the past, or if (after a funeral) a family suggests a donation in lieu of flowers; we’ve also joined a lot of associations/societies where some of the membership fee is treated as a charitable donation.  Readers, what are your thoughts?
(Pictured:  originally uploaded to Flickr by Navy Blue Stripes)
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{ 135 comments }

We got this e-mail from Reader A and it raises a lot of interesting questions, such as how to treat your assistants, how to behave in a male-dominated field where you’re one of the only women who isn’t a secretary, and so forth….

I’m wondering how one is friendly with colleagues at work without becoming friends with colleagues at work. I’m an attorney and have recently moved to a firm where I’m the only female attorney, and the staff is comprised almost entirely of women. I was warned in a joking manner by one of the partners when taking the job to beware – previous female attorneys at the firm have fallen victim to being ‘friends’ with staff (regular lunches, after-work drinks, etc) and then later suffer the wrath should someone need to be called on the carpet for job performance or with claims of favoritism.

So far, I’ve gone to lunch with only a couple of people who have initiated the invitation, and I avoid discussing others in the office and steer conversation away from that topic. However, I plan on being here a long time, and I wonder if you or your readers have insight that might help me or have found themselves in similar situations.

Right? Great e-mail. So far, what reader A is doing sounds great to us. Here are some further tips:

  • There’s nothing wrong with finding a friend who happens to be a staffer. Like our dating advice a few weeks ago, though, we would not recommend looking for a best friend at the office (really, among the staffers or elsewhere). Aim for collegiality. You’re all in this together, and you all have your own jobs to do, and it’s often best if emotions are kept out of it.  Friendship can be harder with people you supervise directly –  it’s important to see both their skills and weaknesses as clearly as possible, so you can compensate and better manage, either by delegating things in certain respects, or knowing to phrase your requests in a certain way.
  • If you are the only female supervisor you have to recognize that they’re going to be looking at you completely differently. What you wear? Open fodder for discussion. How you act? It’s likely to be subjected to some judgy attitudes — e.g., if you don’t cheerfully smile you’ll be branded a bitch; if you don’t act grateful then you’ll be seen as too good for yourself.   You have to walk a delicate line.  Be friendly and, importantly, be cheerful whenever possible.  Remember details about the staffers you work with as carefully as you would remember the details about a superior — the names of their children, their husbands, their pets — these are important things.  But:  be careful about partaking in activities that your male colleagues are not partaking in.  Skip the manicures, girl’s night drinks, or any sort of bakery circle.  Our reader is particularly very smart to avoid the gossip.
  • Age differences can be even weirder with staffers. Do your best as a manager to treat everyone the same, regardless.  We’ve had assistants who were just out of college, and we’ve had some who were old enough to be our mother.  Try not to treat the young’uns in a mothering way, and if your assistant is older than you don’t let her treat you in that way (i.e., tidying your office if it isn’t part of her regular list of tasks).
  • Seek alliances where possible. With everything above said, recognize that there are likely some very powerful women among the staffers.  Perhaps they’ve been there 20 years and everyone looks to them for how to act and what to say.  Perhaps they’re the top partner’s assistant and they have his ear.  Either way — if they’re the one asking you to a manicure, you might want to accept.

Readers, what are your thoughts?  What’s your best advice for dealing with staffers and assistants, whether you’re the only female lawyer on staff or not?

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{ 51 comments }

Our first thought when we got this request was, “garsh, these times we live in!” followed by, “of course, we will all be doing these very soon”…

Help! I am a 1L interviewing for summer associate position and the firm has decided to do a skype interview. I am terrified I will look washed out/ too made up/ etc on camera. Any tips for hair/makeup? Also, my career service office recommended wearing a nice blouse, but I feel a suit would be more appropriate.

Wow. Ok. We’ve only used Skype a few times (on our Mac laptop, primarily) to talk to a bestie who lives in London.  From our limited experiences with Skype, we would have to say:  it does not seem to be the most flattering. You don’t know where to look, because you want to see the screen and see what they’re doing, but you should be looking at the camera, and nothing is eye level, and it’s all very weird.  (Pictured:  nick skype, originally uploaded to Flickr by nedrichards.)

Some tips:

1) Download the program NOW, if you haven’t before.  Start playing around with it.  You may even want to see if there’s a way to record yourself talking on Skype (or talking on the other end of Skype) so you can practice — really practice — where to look and how to do it.  Make sure your sound is good, make sure your Internet connection is good. Our guess is that your computer should be nearly eye level in order to do this.

2)  Make sure everything about the call is professional. What’s your username?  If possible get something resembling your e-mail address (even if it has a random number after it) — there are no points for creativity.  Next, look around the room where you’ll be interviewing.  If there’s a blank wall behind you, fine.  If it’s your giant poster of Robert Patterson, you might want to find another locale.  Given our choice, we’d go with a bookcase behind us, but really, just make sure there’s nothing that could be misunderstood as reflecting poorly on your personality or character.  We’d also make sure that if you have any roommates (or a significant other, or kids, or even pets) that you barricade yourself inside a room, perhaps with a sign on the door about how you’re in the midst of a telephone interview and appreciate silence.  (Turn off the ringer on your landline, if you have one, and the ringer on your cellphone, if you use one.)

2) We’d wear a full suit. It will get you in the “interviewing” mindset, and will help you feel more professional during the interview.  In this About.com article on video interviewing, the Tech Expert for Skype recommends avoiding patterns unless you’re sure how they’ll look (dots look worse than stripes) and staying away from bright colors (sky blue looks great, but red/hot pink don’t look so hot). You could just do the top half of the suit (we’re sure we remember some comedic anchor joking about only wearing boxers during the newscast) but this could work against you — you might have to walk across the room to get something.  Play it safe; it’s an interview.

3) For makeup, we would advise paying attention to undereye circles, flyaways, acne, and so forth. We’re a bit surprised to see the advice from the Skype expert, suggesting women wear “high-definition foundation (creating soft-focus effect in any kind of lighting), blu ray high-definition matifier (refines lines, minimizes pores for a polished look) and blu ray high-definition lip gloss (for a high shine, plumping effect)” — perhaps this is the world to come?  As luck would have it, Sephora has a lot of those things on sale right now from the CARGO line of products — for example, this bronzer is $15 from $30 (CARGO blu_ray™ Bronzer Medium Matte).  Not on sale, but also fits the bill: this HD foundation from MakeUp Forever (the primer, MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Microperfecting Primer 0 Neutral, is $32, and the foundation, MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Invisible Cover Foundation 115 Ivory, is $40). The concealer from the same line is $28 (MAKE UP FOR EVER HD Invisible Cover Concealer 315 Ivory).

4) Finally, focus on your posture. Because you’re in your own house you may feel more at home — don’t; this is still an interview.  You might also want to be wary of awkward pauses in the interview, when you might be tempted to fidget, look bored, or allow yourself to be distracted (as you might during a pause in a telephone conversation). You’re still on camera; act as if you’re sitting in that person’s office.

Readers, please weigh in (particularly if you’ve interviewed someone via Skype!)…

(L-4)

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Today’s reader mail has to do with whether she should invite colleagues to her wedding…

Long story short, I just got engaged to another attorney at my mid-sized firm. We are both junior associates and we met as summer associates in 2007. Obviously, there are associates that we socialize with that we’d like to invite to the wedding. However, we’re not quite sure about whether to invite partners. Since we’re both quite new at the firm, we do work for lots of different attorneys. I’d hate to offend someone by not inviting him…especially in this economy!

Congratulations! The answer to this question depends on a lot of factors, the big ones being:
a) do you think you could make partner at this firm?
b) can you afford to invite a lot of work colleagues to your wedding?
c) how do you feel about mixing your wedding (and your grandparents and your college friends) (and any princess fantasies you’ll be indulging that day) with your work colleagues?

Pictured:  Style 1302, Mikaella Bridal.

Your future with the firm is the first consideration, we think. Even if you’re fairly junior at the firm, you and your fiance should have an idea of whether you could make partner if you wanted to, versus just hanging out until a better job opportunity comes along. If either of you are going to try to make partner, you should look at your wedding as an opportunity to create important relationships — to show the powers that be at the firm that you consider them to be part of the family.  If neither of you is gunning for partner, however, we’d say to evaluate your relationships with the partners.  Are they mentors to you?  Are they like family anyway?  And then we’d proceed on to question two…

[click to continue…]

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{ 40 comments }

Today’s reader mail comes with a ton more of questions about interviewing…

I’m a 3L and have an interview next week with a panel of district court judges for a judicial clerkship. I have a few questions with regards to my upcoming interview:

1.) I (and the interview) are in the Midwest, so it’s cold and snowy outside. I am planning on wearing a black skirt suit and am wondering if it’s appropriate to wear black tights with my suit? Or would pantyhose (off-black) be more professional?

2.) What do I do about a coat? Is it ok to wear a wool coat over my suit? I’m not sure if there will be anywhere to hang it or leave it once I get to the courthouse. Or should I just leave it in the car and just suck it up during the walk to the courthouse from my car?

3.) What about a purse? All I’m planning on bringing with me are copies of my resume, writing sample, etc. so I don’t necessarily need a large bag, but I don’t know if it’s unprofessional to bring my purse and carry the paperwork in a leather portfolio.

Good luck on the interview!  We’ll go through all of your questions…

First, on tights — this keeps coming up, and so we’re going to run some polls today.  Our default answer, previously, was that off-black pantyhose should be worn with a dark skirt suit.  However, readers in the past have disagreed with us, saying nude/sheer is more appropriate (check out their suggestions for the best brands in the comments here). We’ve also heard of folks who hate tights with a suit (which we also disagree with — tights, to us, are fine for any day when you’re NOT interviewing or something similar).   So, without further ado:

In terms of the wool coat — it always pains us to see women wearing ski jackets or other short jackets over a suit. Maybe we’re old school, but a nice wool or cashmere overcoat — long enough to cover your thighs — will never go out of fashion. And of course you can wear it on top of your suit. For your interview, we would absolutely recommend wearing a coat — your common sense and judgment is a valid subject on the table, and if it’s cold out, common sense dictates you should wear a coat. You’re probably going to have to take the coat off to get through security, though, so we would just carry it, folded neatly, from that point forward. (Furthermore, there’s no real excuse for not having a proper wool coat right now, as tons of places have them on deep discount. Pictured above: Larry Levine Wool Coat with Camel Hair, part of the crazy sale that’s going on at Smart Bargains for today only. Was $279, now marked to $119, with an additional 40% off at checkout — comes to $71.)

Finally, as for the purse/portfolio issue — we’ve seen women do it both ways, and have never thought less of someone we interviewed because she carried a portfolio. (That’s what most of the guys do, isn’t it?) Personally we’re fans of carrying a nylon or leather tote bag, though, to hold both the portfolio or folder as well as the contents of our purse. We would suggest, however, that whatever you carry should be as professional and grown-up as possible — so leave the backpack with reflectors on it at home.

Readers, what say you?

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{ 129 comments }

We got this request in over the weekend, and had to weigh in…

I’m a 2L in law school and going to a job fair next weekend, where I have a few interviews. Since getting the interviews and I have been in touch with a friend of a friend who is well connected, and who has called one of my interviewers on my behalf. She mentioned that the interviewer would like to go to lunch with me and herself around the date of my interview, so here is my question: if it is the day of my interview, I’ll be in a suit obviously, but if it is before, what would I wear? the lunch would be the first impression, so my instinct would be suit, but that seems formal for a lunch. Thanks for any advice you can give!

Congratulations — this sounds like a great opportunity. We agree that a suit is probably the thing to wear, but thought we’d temper it with a few other thoughts:

  • Where does this job rank on your wishlist? If it’s the number one job you want, bust out your best interview suit. If it’s lower on your wishlist, consider wearing your second-best suit — particularly if the lunch is the day before the job fair (that way, if you spill something on your second-best suit, you still have your power suit to wear to the job fair).
  • Consider the context — how senior is your friend who set up the interview? How senior is her friend, the interviewer? Where are you meeting? The more formal the spot (and, yes, the more senior your companions), wear a suit.  On the other hand, if they’re recent graduates and you’re meeting at a trendy or casual spot, you might want to opt in favor of a more casual suit-like outfit (i.e., blazer, trousers, button-front shirt, etc.).

We would suggest treating this luncheon like the interview — read everything on the company’s web site, and any other materials you can get your hands on.  Hunt online to see what people really think about working at the company — particularly if there’s a swarm of bad reviews, you may want to use this lunch to tactfully ask questions of the interviewer and try to determine the truth of the situation.  (Be warned that it’s generally better to save the  “but how would *I* like the job” questions until after you have the offer in hand — but a few well-worded questions can provide insight.)  At the same time, don’t be afraid to toot your own horn at lunch, and, particularly, to show the personality traits that make you a great employee / team member (or have stories ready to tell that illustrate those traits, should the opportunity arise).

Our other advice would be to try to pay particular attention to details about the interviewer, and mention them later in a friendly (not creepy!) way.  For example, if she regales you with her adventures while trying to prepare for an upcoming dinner party, wish her luck with it at your interview the next day, or in your thank-you letter.  (Do NOT mention it both times; that gets into the creepy territory.) Finally, you may want to check out our previous tips on the business lunch.

Readers, what are your thoughts?

(Pictured, above:  Business lunch, originally uploaded to Flickr by Frederic Della Faile.)

(L-0)

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Petites: Petite lightweight wool blazer - CharcoalToday’s reader mail is an interesting one…

I am not really stressed about this, but I would appreciate some input. I have an informal interview on Friday morning – what is your opinion on the dress code for an informal interview? It is taking place at the actual law firm and, just for reference, this firm has about 60 attorneys and is one of the “big firms” in my small Southern state, which in my experience, means that it is a touch more formal, at least as far as dressing goes. My thoughts are that since it is a Friday and the recruiter has specifically dubbed it “informal” then I should not wear a suit but, obviously, wear a nice and professional skirt/pants/blouse combo. Thoughts? Advice? Well wishes :o).

First:  good luck!

Our gut feeling is that the answer depends on what the reader is currently doing. If you’re currently a lawyer, suit up. We’d say a pants suit is probably fine for an informal interview — doesn’t even have to be a “power” color like black or navy –  but, still:  suit up.  It doesn’t matter that the interview has told you it’s going to be informal, because you can always pass it off as having a big meeting or court appearance later that day.  If you’re a student and you don’t own a suit, go as professional as possible.  But honestly, if you already own a suit, we’d say to wear that anyway.  After all, you always have the option to take the jacket off.  (Pictured above:  Lightweight wool suit , available at Banana Republic.)

But really, unless the company you’re “informally” interviewing with is amazingly casual — a surfing company, or a place that is famous for a khaki-panted workforce –  the answer for us is almost always going to be a suit, if only to show the interviewer that you take the prospective job seriously.  It also avoids distracting the interviewer — e.g., if you should have worn a suit and didn’t, she or he may sit there wondering, geez, do they not have a suit?  Do they not care about the interview?  We’re curious, though — what do readers think?

(L-2)

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