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This posts rounds up our favorite fun suits we featured as Suit of the Week in 2021 — if you're looking for the best women's suits in 2023 check here!
2021 was kind of a weird year for suits for women — you could either find very basic suits, or very FUN suits, shall we say. Slowly, suits with cropped pants are going away; it feels like we saw far more suits with bootcuts or trousers than in previous years. In any event, these are some of my favorites from our regular feature “Suit of the Week,” which, as we note each week, seeks to find “the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.”
If you’re on the hunt for basic suiting, note that we’ve recently updated our roundup of interview suits for women in each price range, as well as The Corporette Guide to Basic Women’s Suiting.
Before I get to my favorite fun suits of the year, I wanted to point to some of our more recent, specific suit-filled roundups in case anyone is on the hunt…
We updated our selections for our favorite brands for affordable women's suits:
Some of our favorite budget-friendly interview suits for women include stores like Banana Republic Factory*†, J.Crew Factory*†, Mango*, and Express†, as well as widely available brands like Anne Klein Executive, Vince Camuto*, Calvin Klein*†, and Tahari ASL. For a vintage vibe, check Amazon seller Marycrafts*. (* = some plus sizes also, † = petites)
And we also rounded up some of our favorite travel-friendly suits for women…
Some of our favorite travel-friendly suits for women include these brands: 1) M.M.LaFleur, 2) Ministry of Supply, 3) Brooks Brothers, and 4) Talbots — you may also want to check out our roundup of washable suits for women!
We also updated our post on the suits with dresses instead of skirts…
And on to the fun suits!
Our Favorite Suits for Women of 2021
Please note that anything marked with an asterisk* is still available!
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
Someone posted yesterday about the fears of re-entry – networks are different, contact lists changed, etc. Are there any resources out there for how to reacquaint oneself with a network after almost 2 years on zoom?
Anon
Kindly, you don’t need a book, you need a calendar – the resource is your time and availability. Make a list of people you’d like to see again and reach out.
Anon
This is the most bizarre question I’ve ever seen.
Anon
Are you going back to the office or getting out of prison?
Coach Laura
For re-entry, I’d first start by listing what your goals are. Are you planning to get a new job or a promotion? Do you feel like you’re cutoff from friends, colleagues, the industry? Are you going to meet people in person (covid risk) or via phone or zoom? And if it’s by zoom/phone, then why is it different now – are you feeling external pressure or just re-entry fear?
Then list the people you need to connect with. Write down any concrete goals like attending an in-person trade-show or convention or conference. List your goals – to feel connected, not let connections die, take your career in a new direction.
Start by calling/emailing two people per week or some other measurable target. I would suggest calling if you are likely to reach people but with covid that might not be likely. So email the contact, wish them happy new year and ask if they have time for a coffee, a virtual coffee/zoom or a phone call. Suggest two-three times that work for you and ask them to pick one. Meet or talk and follow up with them if there are things that need work. Then “tickle” your calendar for 1-2 months to repeat a call: I just schedule it as a note in my outlook calendar – not as an appointment but as a reminder.
If they don’t have time to meet, tickle your calendar for one month and repeat.
Research conventions/meetings and see which ones work.
If some of these contacts work for your employer, maybe take a walk or visit the break-room or lunchroom and see who you run into, organically as it were, in the hallway or walking past their office.
Pain
What a thoughtful reply. It helped me and I’m not the OP!
Anonymous
+1 I love when people take the time to write something so helpful.
Revival
Great Question. I have been working on building new channels. After all these years starting from ground zero is tough, but some of us must because we are not the same, they are not the same. We adapt. I was looking for a posh new wardrobe and I find these unappealing and unfeminine suits.
Anonymous
How have step-families been handling covid? Step kid is a teenager and is currently with mom. Step kid’s mom just tested positive. So far aside from mild cold symptoms, she is fine. Barring mom getting more seriously ill, do we continue with the normal visitation schedule of kid going back and forth households? Husband and I don’t have any other kids and aren’t particularly high risk but we do have high risk family members. Step kid is a wonderful person who I love to have over. We’re just trying to figure out if a positive covid diagnosis should change the schedule at all.
Anon
I’m not a step parent, but a friend of mine went through this. They paused the visitation schedule for the quarantine period. The step kid ended up getting COVID, but no one in my friend’s household did.
Monday
The parental figures in our situation are 3/4 health care workers, so we’ve been through several rounds of this. We’ve had the kids stay at whichever home is not currently suspected to have Covid in it, until the concern has been resolved. Granted this has only worked given good relationships, trust, and relative flexibility all around.
Anonymous
The most Covid safe would be for kid to stay with mom, but isolated from her. Personally I think that’s insane and would have kid visit.
No Face
I agree with what the safest route is, and what I would actually do.
Assuming everyone is as vaccinated as they are allowed to be, I would bring step kid to my place ASAP and test. But I have also knowingly interacted with vaccinated people with a recent exposure, which may be outside of someone else’s risk profile.
Anon
I spent a ton of time on the CDC website yesterday and can’t recall the answer offhand (5 days in mask after 5 day quarantine if you are sick, but then this, but then that). I found that the hard part is that at home, during a family visit, often with eating, masking just isn’t top of mind vs if you are in a grocery store where people (in my city) are masked. If kiddo is vaxxed, it may be just a temporary pause (with testing) on visits — can you drop off some wonderful take out and wave to the windows?
Sunshine
I have a 14 year old step daughter. DH and her mom have always coordinated visitation and scheduling changes very well. When her mom got COVID in September, step-daughter stayed with her mom for two or three consecutive weekends until both of them were testing negative (step-daughter never tested positive). Step-daughter then spent two consecutive weekends with us. We then resumed normal scheduling.
Neither DH nor I am high risk, but I am a caregiver to my dad who is very high risk.
Anon
If mom is well enough to keep kid at her house until she’s past quarantine, then kid stays there and kid should test negative before coming to you. This is how you keep it to one house. If you have a good relationship with kid’s mom this should all be easy.
Anon
Suit help pls!
I used to wear suits with 2″-3″ heels. I want to switch to flats. Skirt suits will be OK, but do I need to worry about leg width at all if the legs are straight or a moderate bootcut (BR Logans) or is it as easy as getting suits hemmed for flats (or flats up to 1″ heel)?
I think when I go back to the office suits (or wearing the separates) will be easier than figuring out whatever sort of denim fad is going on (acid washed? pleated? mom jeans with, bedazzling?). Now that denim has gotten rigid, suiting pants are relatively comfortable and my older BR Logans are wool ones that are lined (not so with the newer ones), so pretty warm also.
Anonymous
Honey what even? Sure Jen your suits but also deal with your anxiety literally they are just clothes and you’ll look so weird wearing suits daily in a casual office because you’re afraid of jeans.
Anon
On what planet is this a helpful response? Take whatever crawled up your ass somewhere else.
Anon
Thank you for saying this. Some people can be so mean. I mean, the nerve of OP, asking a fashion-related question on a fashion-based blog.
Sloan Sabbith
Have you tried pants that are in between jeans and suits? Like ponte pants? If jeans are your dress code now, it is going to be noticeable and maybe not in a good way that you’re in suiting separates.
Anon
I think anyone you would want hemming your suits can also adjust the leg width to accommodate your preferred shoes. Make sure you know what shoes you like and that a podiatrist won’t be cursing your flats six months from now. Apparently a low heel is generally more orthopedic than a casual flat (though there are better and worse flats out there).
I am also a bit confused in what kind of office a person could wear either a suit or bedazzled acid washed jeans according to personal preference. But I hear your point about suit pants not necessarily being less comfortable than uncomfortable denim.
No Face
I think any leg width looks good with flats if they are the right length for you, but I swtiched to loafers long before the pandemic.
I’ve been primarily working from the office for a while now. Our dress code is “whatever” now. Nothing looks out of place, but the only time I see a full suit is when someone physically goes to court.
Anon
Hear me: you can continue to wear whatever jeans you like. Really. If you want to stick with your stretchier, narrow-leg jeans, that is totally okay. The people who are very invested in making sure they are rigidly and avidly following denim trends are mostly Instagram and TikTok influencers, who make money from being on top of every fashion trend. Good for them; it’s not for me. If you are a grown woman with a good job, just wear the jeans you want to wear. No one will likely even notice, and if they notice, they likely won’t care.
Anon
Has anyone who has hired a decorator / interior designer found that they want you to get a lot of furniture made? I can’t help but think that another generation would have done a Tim Gunn “make it work!” with that they had on hand or could easily source. Maybe I look like I am made of $? [I’m about to do a pivot to e-design to someone like Maria Killam who can give me some guidance and then I can shop the look locally.]
Anonymous
Maybe you should use your big girl words and say things like “actually, can we pivot on this? I’d prefer to either make what I own work or buy things off the shelf.” They aren’t mind readers and lots of decent furniture is made to order. Idk why you’d pay for an interior designer, expect them to design using just what you own and stuff from Target, without any communication about it.
Anon
I think a lot of designers have a minimum spend in mind that is probably a lot higher than many of us here would spend on a whole house (I have heard $75K for a room quoted in my large but not NYC/SF city — to me, that is a lot of $, especially for a household with kids and dogs where we want things to look nice but they cannot be precious things). So I’ve never even had a convo with a designer — I feel like we live on different financial planets.
Anonymous
Are you the OP? Because her posts reads like she’s about to fire a designer. If you are the OP, your post was weird and misleading.
Anon
This is why I’ve never hired anyone. For one thing, I have sentimental attachment to much of my furniture, which is antique and passed down from dearly departed family members. I’m not getting rid of it or putting it in storage so a designer can achieve an aesthetic “vision” that they get to walk away from, but I have to live with. Secondly, the folks I know who have hired designers have spent an absolute fortune and I don’t know that they achieved a look they couldn’t have put together themselves, just from reading some design magazines and rearranging their own furniture. The people I know who hired interior designers did end up getting a lot of pieces made, and very often, the bespoke pieces didn’t look that different from something I could have gone and bought at Ethan Allen, but they were much more expensive and took a lot longer to get. It is totally a “same planet, different worlds” situation if people are expecting me to pay $12k to get a couch made that looks nearly identical to something I could buy from Room and Board for $2-$3k.
I have to agree with the comment about using words to explain what you are and aren’t willing to do. I think that would have been a good conversation to have when you hired the person: this is our budget, and BTW we want to buy what’s available and/or use what we already have, and not get furniture made. Beyond the expense, I don’t have the time or the patience to make a bunch of micro-decisions about a couch and then manage the project of getting furniture pieces ordered, made, shipped and delivered. I’d rather just go to a store and pick out something that looks good and will work fine and that can arrive at the house with minimal fuss within a few weeks.
One thing I have also thought about, in regards to hiring an interior designer, is that it’s probably not a good idea for me as I am really not all that meticulous about my house. 80% solutions are fine with me. Also, given that I have children and dogs, I care more about comfort, durability and ease of cleaning more than aesthetics, in this season of life. Maybe that will change later. But I doubt it.
Anon
I’m an architect and have worked with plenty of clients to have custom furniture made. It’s super fun, and so lovely to have something that is just right for a space, but you’re right, can be super expensive. Happily, I’ve also worked with clients to buy things secondhand or from pretty basic stores (sometimes even for the same person who also has a custom whatever). It helps me when clients are up front about their budget so that I can adjust accordingly. If your designer won’t do that, then they probably aren’t the right designer for you.
No Face
Have you talked to the designer about it? Maybe they are trying to avoid supply chain problems by getting something made locally?
Anon
Yes, I have used my words, including in my initial candid discussion. “I have a budget for $X and want to do Y; is this a project that you’d be interested in taking on; I would be OK paying for your time just for design and guidance if outfitting a room would be over $X.” And yet she really pushes things that would be multiples of $X and gets huffy when my response is (again), “but that’s beyond what I can do.” IDK if she has a warehouse of pieces somewhere that she’s trying to offload on me or places that give her a % of what she brings in. My sense is that she maybe shouldn’t have accepted the work since it isn’t yielding what she wants, but I’ve been pretty consistent and frank about budget.
No Face
If I have a budget and the person I’m working with can’t respect that, then I move on.
I moved on from an architect that was only interested in doing Very Fancy Things, when I like comfy and homey.
Anonymous
I’ve been in this situation. I was clear on my budget, but it was like she couldn’t or didn’t want to remember it.
I liked her sense of style and colour, so didn’t want to fire her, so I started to put $$ limits in individual pieces. For example, I needed a new couch and chairs – her version was about $20k. I told her I had $10k to spend on the three pieces and we found pieces that worked great.
Anonymous
It sounds like you set your budget up front and did everything you could have done. There are designers who will work within your budget and preferences.
Anon
I’d fire this person in a heartbeat. Someone who is supposed to be doing you a service for a fee should not be getting “huffy” when you remind her that her suggestions are over budget. I’d look at whatever you have spent so far as a sunk cost and move on. Do not throw more good money at this.
Anonymous
With this extra information, I would say: stop using this person immediately, and don’t be shy to tell her that you’re terminating because she hasn’t been respecting your budget or the limits and purpose of the project.
Anon
If you want to buy West elm for your house, use Modsy or a store designer. If you use an interior designer, yes, expect to replace things and get custom.
Senior Attorney
I’m sure there are a lot of designers who do this, but I have worked with two designers who actually sourced second-hand furniture that worked beautifully in my spaces. I think it’s just a matter of being really transparent about expectations up front.
Senior Attorney
Oops in mod, trying again: I’m sure there are a lot of designers who do this, but I have worked with two designers who actually sourced second-hand furniture that worked beautifully in my spaces. I think it’s just a matter of being really tr a n sparent about expectations up front.
Anon
“I can’t help but think that another generation would have done a Tim Gunn “make it work!” with that they had on hand or could easily source.”
LOL anybody in any generation with enough money to hire an interior designer was probably not doing this, no.
Anon
My new year’s resolution is to talk to a closet person about getting some shelving / storage built into it. For those of you who have had it done, do you design it so you can have all clothes out at once or do you still store off-season clothes? If you store, do you build that in or put in shelves to hold rubbermaid tubs? I know that garage remodelers put in large sturdy shelves, and I hope that there is a pretty version for inside houses (or maybe large cabinet doors to hide things, maybe in those giant storage bags). I have 9″ ceilings, so I feel like I should be able hide everything not current (vs cramming all I own onto hanging rods), but I’m a newbie at this and just thinking through things.
Anon
Thinking through all the possibilities is key. DH redesigned ours (he’s got skills). We store pretty much everything in ours by using the very upper parts (9ft ceilings) for storing out of season items. We included a space for a laundry basket, and included more hanging space for DH’s shirts that he didn’t want to fold. Also, space your shelves reasonably so that you don’t have tall piles that topple over. They are much easier to keep need when shelve are closer together. DH made drawers as well. The space is so much more usable now and easy to keep tidy. Good luck!
Senior Attorney
Wide drawers are amazing. When I had my closets done they put in drawers that are at least three feet wide and it’s so great: I Marie Kondo fold my sweaters, and PJs, and I can see everything at a glance when I open the drawer. And my underwear drawer looks like a Victoria’s Secret store!
And to answer your question, I have everything all together but that’s largely because I’m in So Cal so there isn’t as much change of seasons as there is elsewhere.
Anonymous
I live in VA, where we theoretically have four seasons. The forecast is 76 on Saturday and 26 a day and a half later. I will be wearing shorts on Saturday and a heavy sweater. This is why I keep all my clothes out year-round.
Formerly Lilly
I’m another resident of a midsouth four seasons state, occasionally with all four seasons in the same week. Friday is supposed to be a high of 72 and a low of 65. Sunday is a high of 39 and a low of 18. Gah.
Maudie Atkinson
All my clothes are out at once, but I also have a pretty minimalist wardrobe and a pretty strict one-in-one-out policy with regard to buying clothes. One key point, though, is that *I* did not design any of it. I have done this in two houses (used the same local company both times), and the professionals were much better at figuring out how to make the best use of my space and have it meet my needs than I would have been.
Anon
Thread Jack: I have a reach in closet with sliding doors. I’ve occasionally thought of removing the doors and maybe even enlarging the drywall opening and putting in custom closet organizers that are attractive enough to not be covered by doors. Anyone done this? Does this result in more or less storage?
Anon
I had that, until the doors stopped sliding and I just took one off so it was half-open, half walk-in. Are you tidy? Will it both you if all your hangers don’t match? I spend some $ on matching nice wood hangers that made things look nice and more intentional. I actually am a Tidy Closet person (by habit — the floor is not where I put things, but I had an ugly laundry basket and pushed it back behind the door that was stuck on its track, but I would have not liked looking at a mess, so maybe it’s a matter of know yourself a bit?
No Face
I am not neat enough to not have doors.
The previous owners installed custom closet organizers in my small reach in closets and they are great, even with the sliding doors.
Senior Attorney
Try replacing the sliding doors with bifold doors. That way you can see pretty much the whole contents of the closet.
Fed
I did that with an IKEA Pax system. We used a darker finish and installed lighting so it actually looked quite nice. It was in theory similar amounts of storage but much more accessible and resulted in us naturally keeping a tidier closet.
Anon
I still dream about that link Etro suit.
Anon
*Pink. I meant pink.
Anonymous
My most Covid cautious friend who cancelled 95% of her Christmas plans has Covid. Feel bad for her.
Sloan Sabbith
That sucks- hopefully she’s feeling alright and it’s mild. I just assume I’m going to end up with it this winter although I am very cautious. Seems unavoidable.
Anonymous
She’s totally fine wouldn’t have known but required testing for work. But her wife is pregnant and extremely anxious about Covid.
Anon
That’s why it’s a bit silly to still act like it’s March of 2020.
Anonymous
How many beds are free at your local hospital?
Don’t speed! Don’t slip in your bath!
Anon
This varies so much by area. I’m in DC, a huge current hotspot, and our hospitals are not even at 70% capacity. There are a significant amount of ICU beds available. This was a valid concern earlier in the pandemic, but not anymore if you are in an area with decent vaccine uptake
Anon
Vaccine uptake is relevant, but not the only thing that matters. Florida is well-vaccinated and the hospitals there were definitely overwhelmed during the summer surge. It’s really early in your current surge, we’ll see what happens in the next few weeks.
Anon
Friends of mine in Seattle are facing serious hospital capacity issues; I think Seattle had decent vaccine uptake. When you go in, I think it’s not just beds but staffing, and not all staffed beds are interchangeable, so I think the situation may be a worse than the metrics we were using a year ago might clearly indicate.
Anon
This is the biggest outbreak we’ve seen. Even with the vax, there will be hospitalizations and with the enormous overall numbers, the absolute number of hospitalizations will be high. The current hospitalization numbers mean little to nothing since this huge outbreak has only recently started and hospitalizations/deaths always significantly lag overall case numbers. I am also in the DC area and am not feeling nearly as confident as you. NY Times reported this morning that DC’s numbers are already up 1,000%. This is something we have not faced before and without a crystal ball, we can’t by sure how our systems will/will not be able to keep up.
Anon
Even in states with excellent vaccine uptake, hospitals will be overwhelmed if the virus takes out a large percentage of the healthcare workforce at once. A physical bed is worthless if you don’t have a doctor or nurse to staff it.
Anon
On the plus side, she’s much less likely to have infected other people than someone who went ahead with all of her plans. Everyone seems to forget that it’s not just about personal risk but also the risk of infecting people who are more vulnerable than you. I didn’t travel to see my elderly parents just because I was worried about getting infected, but mostly because I was worried about infecting them after multiple flights and long waits in the airport.
Anonymous
I am confused. Are you criticizing your friend for canceling her plans because obviously she was doomed to catch COVID anyway so she shouldn’t have deprived herself?
Anon
Jfc it doesn’t sound like that’s what she’s doing at all.
Sloan Sabbith
Missed the post yesterday about reading challenges.
I have done a ton of these since 2016. I’m only doing Popsugar this year after this last year felt much too restrictive due to how many challenges I was trying to complete.
There are some other challenges with fewer books required if people are looking.
– Book Riot Read Harder (24 books): In my experience some of these prompts are very limited in scope- things like “read a new to you literary magazine” is just not in my normal wheelhouse and wasn’t a prompt I enjoyed when they did it a few years ago.
– 52 Book Challenge: This one has kind of dumb prompts. I get nothing valuable from things like “a five syllable title.” I tried to do it this year and didn’t enjoy it.
– GirlXOXO Monthly Motif: This one has a ton of flexibility which is really nice. Good if you want a push to read but don’t want to be limited by a very specific prompt list.
– GirlXOXO Monthly Key Word: This one is good to help you knock off some unread books from your shelf, so long as you actually have books with the keyword. If you don’t, it can be a way to find a new read. I’ve done it twice and didn’t like it very much.
GirlXOXO puts together a list of challenges each year with a ton of other options.
Lastly, Modern Mrs Darcy has had reading challenges previously. None this year but she has a make your own challenge kit from last year that you can work through to create your own. Honestly hated it but some people seemed to really love it.
Reading Challenge
Thank you! I looked at the 52 Book Challenge as well and decided I liked the PopSugar prompts better. I’ve been having fun brainstorming books that will fulfill each prompt. I’m going to check these others out just to see. I figure since this is the first year I’m doing a challenge beyond just “Read X number of books,” I should ease in with just one, but I like getting ideas from these.
Sloan Sabbith
The Goodreads group for Popsugar is consistently helpful. I am also always down to make recommendations as everyone here knows!
Reading Challenge
I think the one I’m going to have most trouble with is Hugo Award Winner.
I’m open to speculative works but I do not want to read anything resembling high fantasy or robot stuff. I feel like that’s my stereotype of this genre, and it’s probably unfair!
I just finished Eye of the World for my book club and sincerely want to poke my eyes out after reading it.
An.On.
Hah, I was going to recommend Murderbot, but you don’t want robot stuff. How about To Say Nothing of the Dog? It’s a Victorian era screwball comedy (with a little bit of time travel) – I’m re-reading it right now because I just finished Dorothy Sayers’ Gaudy Night.
Anon
How about some Chuck Tingle? :P
Anonymous
For the Hugo winner, the Wayfarers series by Becky Chambers.
Reading Challenge
Haha! I had never heard of this person and looked him up. Since his nominated pieces were short stories, maybe this is worth my time…
Hugo winners!
Lois McMaster Bujold–The Vor Game and Paladin of Souls are both Hugo winners. The former is space opera–but think politics in space, not aliens shooting laser beams. The latter is fantasy. LMB writes the women who I want to be when I grow up. They’re smart, strong, and fallible.
Anon
Try The Calculating Stars, part of the lady astronaut series. Not at all high fantasy or robots, it’s more of an alternative history like the tv show For All Mankind, which is also really good.
Anon
Please be gentle with me. Quite some time ago my husband and I invited about 50 people for an indoor-outdoor open house on New Year’s Day. It should be warm, plus we have heaters for outdoors, but we are not set up for the whole gathering to be completely outside. The event is four hours so we don’t expect everyone to be here all at once, but there will probably be a good number of people here all at the same time anyway.
We have to cancel, right? My husband says “the Rose Parade and Rose Bowl are still going on, so why can’t we have our party?” but that seems silly to me and I’d hate to get sick or have our friends get sick. We are vaxed and boosted and said on the invitation that only vaccinated people should attend, but it seems like Omicron doesn’t care about the vax for purposes of transmission.
WWYD?
P.S. we are invited to a similar size New Year’s Eve party and I am inclined to skip that, too.
Anonymous
Maybe say masks inside, all food/drinks outside?
Add on RSVP that “we decided to hold the event but totally respect your level of comfort with the pandemic and if you can’t make it, would love to see you and your loved ones in the New Year!”
Anon
“Festive Picnic”
Anon
Yes. If everyone is vaccinated and boosted, have it outdoors. I would not have it indoors.
Anon
Cancel now so you don’t have to waste any time getting ready for it. But save me some bacon-wrapped dates — I will swing by for those :)
Anonymous
Yes, you should cancel.
Shelle
Can it be a very small group outdoors for a shorter period of time? I personally would understand (and maybe even be relieved that you were making the call for me) if I were “cut” from the guest list and you explained you’d be hosting just a couple people instead. And if you said you’d host something down the road when things are more manageable.
Anonymous
No, you don’t “have” to cancel. The people on this forum tend to be on the ultra-cautious side, compared to the people I know in real life. In my friend setting, you’d go ahead and have the party. People who would come would be fully aware of what decision they were making and would be fine with it. People who don’t want to be around groups wouldn’t come. It would be that simple, and nobody would make a fuss about it, one way or the other. Nobody would get upset at you if they got exposed at the party via someone who didn’t know they were positive; that’s the risk they know they’re taking, and they’re fine with that choice.
anon
+1 to this. If you are comfortable having the party, go ahead. Know that you’ll probably have an exposure that may be acceptable for many in your group, especially if they are fully vaccinated and boosted. For what it’s worth, I was going to skip out on some New Years parties but then my whole family got covid in early December so between recent very mild case we all had plus vaccination plus boosters, we’re more than comfortable being out and about. We also totally understand that many of our friends and family don’t feel comfortable right now and are happily back to Facetime and look forward to socializing with them outside with masks on in the spring (or whatever parameters make them comfortable).
Anon
+1 The people here really know how to get their undies in a bunch.
Anon
+2 this is also my friend group. We treat people like adults who can make their own risk calculus and act accordingly. We have some folks with unvaccinated kids who do not come when they don’t want to risk it, people don’t come when they have symptoms of any sickness, and people test and quarantine as appropriate. I would not cancel. You can certainly give people guidance about your status and let everyone know that there will of course be no hard feelings of they decide not to attend, but it’s up to them to choose their own level of acceptable risk! We have been having indoor/outdoor gatherings for a while now and it’s been nbd. People show, people don’t show, and we have yet to have evidence that we have caught CV19 from each other (after the fact symptomatic people have tested negative with PCR and one was confirmed the flu).
Anonymous
Agreed. You don’t have to cancel. You can plan for the majority of the party to be outside. Sure, some folks will be inside for some portion of the party (if only to use the restroom). This will likely be ok for most. Agree with the others that this board skews conservative. I would go to an outdoor party–and I personally consider myself cautious (also am boosted). I don’t know that I would stay very long, but I would definitely attend, and I would appreciate all of the effort you put into making it an event that could occur at least partially outdoors.
Anon
Very late to this, but just wanted to say, in my friend group we would not cancel. Some of the 50 invitees wouldn’t show and those that did show would be vaccinated and have masks with them. But with everyone being vaxxed, and many people already having had breakthrough Delta infections this summer and fall, no one is really worried about it. People here are way, way, way overcautious compared to 95% of the people I know in real life. And that 5% of people are falling away from everyone else because they still refuse to go anywhere or do anything and it’s really difficult to include people in social activities when they won’t leave their house.
Anonymous
50 people?! Girl, read the news right now. This isn’t the year for that.
Sloan Sabbith
I wouldn’t, and I wouldn’t go to it. I’m high risk and therefore very risk averse, though.
No Face
I would have RSVP’d yes when you sent the invite, and changed it to a no under these circumstances. I would expect a lot of people not to show up at this point.
I personally prefer just to delay things to when cases are low, rather than have a crappier version of my plans.
No Face
Just to follow up, I don’t think it is morally wrong to have a party. I just think it won’t be the same party that you planned.
I’m a Debbie downer because we were going to have a Christmas get together and it was cancelled because people have COVID.
Anon
+1 I don’t think it’s immoral to host a party but I would expect most of your guests not to show up.
MND
I’m in Chicago suburbs and know more positive people than I ever have. If you are in an area with high transmission (which… i think everywhere is now?) I’d consider cancelling. To me, it would be really stressful to host and know that someone could be exposed at our party and get you or others sick. If you’re already considering cancelling, I’m also wondering if you’d be able to have fun at the party if it went forward because you’d be anxious.
If you don’t want to cancel, I think sending a message today asap to set expectations would be a good idea: party is all outside except if you have to go to the bathroom (and then we ask you to wear a mask in the house), we totally understand if you’re not comfortable coming in those circumstances or due to spread – please update your RSVP and we’ll see you another time! If you’re unvaccinated, feeling ill, or have recently been exposed, please stay home.
Everyone’s risk tolerance is different, so if you set very clear expectations at the front end, people can make their own decision about attendance.
Anonymous
So, as a person in DC, I would cancel, but maybe things aren’t as bad where you are.
If you think you’re going to go ahead, I think you need to look at the hospitalization rates where you are in order to make a justifiable moral call. You also personally have to be ok with people cancelling last minute and not hold it against them. Finally, only host if you can quarantine for the next week if you are exposed/infected.
Anon
I’d cancel it. I am looking at the numbers in my area and seeing picture perfect exponential growth. Other than the math being exciting, the prospect is depressing. You don’t want to be “that host” where everyone caught COVID.
OP
Thanks for all the insights. I think at this point we are going forward on the premise that they are all adults and can analyze the risk for themselves and there will be an option to stay outside if that’s what people want to do. And I do expect a lot of no-shows but I don’t think that will make it a crappy party — I will be happy to see whoever turns up and honestly if it’s a smaller crowd, even a much smaller crowd, I’m more than okay with that.
And fun fact: The New Year’s Even party we were going to was just canceled because one of the hosts has (what he swears is non-COVID) pneumonia. So there’s that.
Anonymous
I have been to multiple similar events throughout the pandemic. I would come to your party.
Anon
Yay! That’s what I’d do. I’d also happily attend. Only thing I’d do is Covid test on my way out the door to make sure I wasn’t a spreader.
Anon
You are exactly right that Omicron does not care about the vax in terms of transmission. And in a crowd of that many people, without testing, there will likely be one or more persons in attendance and covid positive. This means that your party would likely result in significant transmission, with the cascading transmission results. Most people will have nothing worse than mild symptoms, but hospitals are slammed, young kids still cannot be vaxxed, and there are plenty of people with health or age vulnerability that may end up with serious illness. Are you ok with hosting a spreader event?
LaurenB
Only morons are going to the Rose Bowl / Parade. That shouldn’t factor into your decision-making.
Carly
Masks indoor, food/drinks outdoor, leave the windows open indoor. But have the event.
Celia
Do it outdoors. The risk for a spreader event is also beyond just whether your guests are healthy. As someone with small kids, a full time job, and a husband with a full time job that can’t be done remotely, the weeks we had to lose childcare and / or quarantine have been very very hard. Delta was hell and so was the month of December. I’m hoping the families that attend my daycare aren’t having inside 50 person NYE parties because us parents cannot afford to keep losing childcare because those people’s kids show up to school with Covid and shut it down for 10 days. My husband and I are confident we and our kids would do okay if we actually caught Covid – kids are healthy and we are vaxxed and boosted – but the cost to our careers and sanity is getting pretty high, so we’re being extra cautious this holiday and just hoping for the best from our fellow daycare families
Anon
Yesterday there was a lot of chatter about international travel. I know multiple people who tested positive before their return trips and now are quarantining abroad. So far none of the people i know are super sick. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go, just have a plan in place in case you test positive and need to quarantine and in case you do require medical care abroad. On the flip side, I know someone who never got to leave on their trip because they tested positive before leaving the U.S. so if you are money conscious, make sure you book things you can cancel
Anon
My immediate concerns would be food (how to you get if in a hotel? Room service for 5-14 days? And shelter (if reservation ends in high-demand area, can you realistically find couple / family lodging without exposing a ton of people? Also, I tend to pack meds for the trip + 1 day, but would pack needed meds and comfort meds for maybe a month for a worst-case scenario. And a small Dr. Bronner’s for doing laundry in the sink :(
Anonymous
I would also worry about kids in school, working from a very different time zone, and what would happen to pets left at the kennel or at home with a visiting pet-sitter. I would at least bring all school and work laptops.
Anon
Ha! Our state is refusing remote school after many districts completely cancelled school in 2020 and only limped through the 2020-2021 school year. Regressions were startling, especially in black/brown communities and the legislature is not having it (even though some kids will miss some school due to shut-downs) happen again on their watch. So my kids are old enough to log in and get assignments, but there is no more zoom school now, just homework you can do (I guess in lab sciences you are SOL for dissections).
OMG for the pets.
Anon
That’s terrible. Sometimes the least restrictive environment is remote. They should definitely be held accountable if their remote options were bad, but they shouldn’t take the option away from kids who still need it.
Anon
We never did remote for all until 2020 and the learning loss will take years to undo, especially for families that can’t afford to hire tutors or supplement at home. If you medically can’t go to school, you tend to have an IEP that’s intentional vs “just watch this Khan Academy video.” And those kids often have homebound instruction teachers assigned to visit periodically (e.g., cancer patients, etc.).
Anon
I don’t think kids are currently getting IEPs because they have a family member who is high risk? A lot of kids currently need remote instruction because this is a contagious condition. I know families who have been driven to home school all their kids just to keep the one high risk child safe.
Remote instruction should never have been “watch this Khan academy video” in the first place.
lilibet@gmail.com
Totally agree on that. A friend was a homebound teacher for a while in between classroom gigs. In our area, zoom school was a bonanza for our state’s virtual charter school, which I think is well done and intentional, at least for grades at middle school and above (in some areas, it is one of the main options for advanced coursework that may not be offered locally (e.g., AB Calc., some language classes, etc.). We know one kid using it just for Spanish class b/c the class she is supposed to be in has no teacher, just a sub (functioning as a study hall, but then she can’t go on to the next class or sit for the right exam, so needed continuity).
Anon
Most countries have designated quarantine housing you can go to where they will deliver food to you (often at your expense).
Anonymous
I’d add to also check with your health insurance on what coverage will look like. (Pre-covid had a friend who ended up with a huge tab following a husband’s sudden abdominal surgery and stay abroad.) And if you’re thinking Europe or another high-risk area, I’d also look at local media to try to get a sense of what the hospitals in the destination city are looking like before going. A lot of people aren’t super sick, but there are enough that it is bringing down access to care in many places.
Fed
+10000. As someone who deals with these situations professionally: never ever travel abroad without a policy that will cover you. Between contagious disease, injuries/accidents, and sudden catastrophic health events (yes, even a 35 year old can have a stroke), it’s just prudent. Neither the foreign government nor the USG will pay your medical bills or your medevac.
CB
We went abroad for Christmas and delayed our trip home to wait for an announcement about school reopening, if schools were closed, we would stay. But we are visiting family. We brought our work computers and a months worth of medication.
Anon
Honestly I rarely booked non-refundable things pre-Covid. With a daycare kid who was frequently sick, the odds were just too high we would have to cancel on relatively short notice. I’m glad airlines have permanently waived change fees though. In pre-Covid times we had to pay $200 change fees quite a few times and it was annoying.
Anon
I don’t think anyone was suggesting there’s no risk of getting quarantined abroad if you test positive right before the return flight. We were saying it’s a risk we could deal with. Also the comment yesterday about travel restrictions causing someone to get stuck abroad was fear-mongering not based in fact. Even in spring 2020 at the height of travel restrictions, US citizens could always fly home. Travel restrictions might cancel your trip, but it would happen before you left the US.
Anon
I mean, yes? Of course you plan for this. I don’t understand why this is a big deal. If you want to travel, you plan accordingly. If you can’t manage the fall out of getting stuck somewhere, you don’t go.
Cat
Yes, this is international travel 101 for Covid times.
credit card question
there was a post about credit cards yesterday….has anyone used the free identity monitoring service associated with a Chase card? of course identity monitoring is very helpful so not looking for justification of the value, but instead, what is your experience with the service?
anon
I have several Chase cards (including Chase Reserve) and I didn’t know this was offered. Do you just sign up through the online dashboard? Seems like a good idea. Someone tried to file a fraudulent tax return for me so I already set the credit bureaus to freeze.
credit card question
yes looks like you just sign up through the online dashboard……
Sloan Sabbith
Another book post: Just finished Go Tell the Bees That I Am Gone. I’ve been reading/rereading the series since August and all I feel is relief that I am finally, finally done with this series- I enjoyed them more or less but they are SO long and there’s a lot of filler. If anyone is on the fence about reading it, wait until book 10 is released and read this one then. This book has a LOT of set up and not a lot of action.
Anonymous
Agreed. On the whole I love the series. This was absolutely the worst book for me. So devoid of content.
Anon
That’s funny, I actually liked this one a lot, better than the last few. I do agree, there wasn’t a ton of plot movement, but I never liked the really action-filled parts and could definitely do without the rapes (which are a much smaller part of the books than they are on the TV show, as all of the filler scenes get cut out on TV but make up a huge portion of the books). I think I read the books mostly for the filler scenes- I love hearing about interesting parts of history, the way people handled the cooking and cleaning, Claire’s attempts to practice modern medicine in the 1700s, and the relationships between all the characters. I don’t even care that much about the main romance between Claire and Jamie, but I like the bonds between parents and children, all of the extended family members, and their friends. I also live in North Carolina, so it’s fascinating to learn more about the history of the area- I didn’t grow up here and everything I learned in school about the Revolutionary War was about New England, not the South.
Anon
You didn’t see The Patriot?
#SwampFox
Miss Marple
Those are my favorite parts too, and I’m not bothered by having to wait years for the last book and resolution for the cliffhanger because I’m sure that it will work out somehow. I started reading the series a few months ago so I haven’t had to deal with the long wait between books, plus nothing is as bad as the wait for the next Game of Thrones book. I am incredibly bitter about spending all that time reading the GOT books now that it’s looking unlikely that GRRM will ever finish the series.
Bonnie Kate
Same! I liked this one a lot, better than some of the last ones. Really want the next one because the ending involves several of my favorite characters (not saying anything more specifically/no spoilers). Love Claire’s attempt and the building of Frasier’s Ridge.
I will say – maybe if I had been re-reading since August the whole thing maybe I’d feel differently…I had been randomly googling every 6-9 months for a few years when it was going to come out, and didn’t realize it came out until 2 days after and then rapidly devoured it. It’s been a few years since I’ve read them all and sometime in the next year or two or three (while I’m waiting for the next) so maybe when they’re all read closely together (as opposed to just one highly anticipated) it reads differently.
Anonymous
Agree on all set up and no action. I still enjoyed it but did not LOVE it. It was like a snuggle in a warm blanket – it was nice to spend time with the characters – but found myself reading in small chunks rather than devouring it like I did most of the earlier ones. There really just wasn’t too much that happened. That’s been true of some others in the series but never so much as this one. Like I said, I still enjoyed it, and I wouldn’t necessarily wait until book 10 (which I think is supposed to be the final installment), but very much not exciting, just…a pleasant meandering.
Anon
Q from a new pet owner after my dog (my first) didn’t do so well with eating when boarded (like over a week — he was very skinny afterwards and clearly didn’t like it, but maybe this just isn’t for him). If you get a pet sitter, does that person stay at your house 24/7 while sitting your pet? Or do they just stop by repeatedly for walks / feeding (presumably doing this for multiple pets)? I’m not sure how sitter-proof I need to make my place if I were to try this next time I’m away. Also, how to test that your pet will be OK with someone coming into the house (assuming it is always the same person, maybe not?) and not treating as an intruder and biting the person.
Anon
I have cats, not dogs, so they may be more okay with alone time. But every pet sitter I’ve ever hired has come by beforehand to spend time with the cats and feed them so they have gone through the whole routine with me present.
I know a lot less about dogs, but I would hope that a well-referenced pet sitter would have solutions to the other issues you’ve raised?
Sloan Sabbith
I think it depends on the person and what you ask for. I pet sat in law school and stayed at their house. I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with someone just coming over to walk and feed my dog without staying over. I think it would make my dog very anxious.
I would have them come over when you’re home to meet the dog and so that the dog can see that you and the pet sitter are a-OK.
My (very anxious) dog would lose his mind if I boarded him at a place with kennels and a bunch of other dogs but he’s been totally fine going to a pet sitter’s house if they have another dog he likes. Seems like the new playmate makes him forget he’s not home. If there’s no other dog and he’s not home he’s a disaster.
Anonymous
Yeah agreed. You cannot leave dogs home alone like this. You either board them or get someone who is going to stay at your house.
Anon
That is a conversation to have with the person pet sitting.
Anon
I’m curious about this too. My cat just started taking a daily medication and I have zero faith that any pet sitter would be able to get him to come out of hiding to give him his meds. My cats are extremely anxious and boarding is off the table (they’ve refused to eat while staying at the vet after surgery or while moving), but I’m not sure how well a pet sitter would work, so for now we’re stuck at home…
Jules
See if one of the vet techs at your vet’s office is interested in pet sitting. They often are happy to pick up some extra money, and they have skills that would allow them to pill a difficult cat (well, if the cat will show herself).
anon
I have an anxious senior dog and I always have a pet sitter come stay at our place when we’re away. We have had good luck with sitters from Rover (although it took a few tries until we found someone we liked). I would have them come over and meet the dog and you can show them the dog’s food etc and explain routines. I also leave a detailed note they can refer to, including vet contact info and other emergency contacts if they can’t get hold of me. Some of the sitters have had part time jobs they have left for during the day, but we like someone who is around at least some of the day, and who stays overnight. It seems to work well for our dog to stay in her familiar environment, and she quickly takes to the sitters (she loves people). I also make sure they don’t bring any pets since my dog hates other dogs. That’s definitely a conversation to have if the sitter has dogs of their own.
Walnut
I was never super jazzed about having someone in my home, so we built a relationship with a person on Rover who dog sat in her home. She didn’t have other dogs and lived close, so if something went sideways she could always have switched to my house. We started off with some dog walking to build trust and then dropped off all my dog’s favorite comforts to help ease the transition.
Reading Challenge
I’ve done this several ways with dogs. When I had multiple dogs, I felt comfortable with a service that came by 4-5 times per day and stayed for a long time each time to play with them and feed them and let them outside. They presumably kept each other company while the pet sitter wasn’t there. I don’t know that I personally would like to do this with an only dog because he or she might get too bored or anxious between visits. That’s a total know-your-dog situation, though! My current dog really needs people around, but I’m sure there are some less high strung ones out there who would cope just fine.
As for the intruder issue— Any well regarded pet sitter will have methods for dealing with this. I always have done a long introduction with the dogs and the person with me present, but I actually used to use a service that would send different people over. This all worked just fine, and one of my previous dogs was prone to being overly protective. I think that when their person isn’t there, it’s a bit different than if they thought there was an intruder going to hurt their person.
I’m not sure what you mean by “sitter proof,” but if you have any valuables or whatever, I’d just handle those the way you’d normally handle if you were having an unattended stranger in your home for any amount of time. I don’t have anything a sitter would steal, so I didn’t do anything special except make sure the place was reasonably neat.
lilibet@gmail.com
I was thinking more about if you had any very personal items in a sole bathroom / bedroom. And clearing out some closet space.
december
I only hire someone who will spend the night. I don’t care if they have a daytime job, but my dog won’t eat dinner if no one is around and won’t sleep if he’s not settled for the night in bed or in a room with someone. I have a guest room on the main floor of the house so I don’t have to worry about the sitter going upstairs for any reason.
anon a mouse
This is us. Our older dog can be left alone for 12-14 hours a day, but needs to eat and be walked in the morning and before bed. We have the best luck having someone sleep in our guest room and putting the dog bed in there.
Anonymous
My cat sitter comes twice a day AM & PM, the agreement is she stays until they’re done eating. However she often stays longer and I know for sure she’s marathoned some reality tv while cat snuggling before.
Anon
It’s hard, honestly, and trial and error. We finally found a boarding place our two dogs love, but it took a lot. If our dogs aren’t eating, they switch them to chicken and rice for a while. The owners also live on site so I feel better knowing they are nearby. Other places clearly stressed them out and would send back a barely touched bag of food without comment. Not good.
I’ve also sent them to a pet sitter’s home. This again may be trial and error, but it went well for us. They got a little more one on one attention, and the sitter was used to a lot of different kinds of dogs.
For very short, overnight trips only I have had someone from Rover come and let them out/ play/ check water and food multiple times. They send photos and text updates so you know they have been there and all is well. They always came to met our dogs beforehand. One did rearrange my cupboards while we were gone because she did not like how we had the dog food and treats stored, so there’s that, but I don’t know how you screen for minor meddling!
Anon
Do you have local family or friends who could pet sit, either from their home or yours? I’ve only ever had relatives pet sit and it’s easy because they already know the pet and the house (and it’s free – we just trade off)
Anon
I can’t imagine leaving my dog alone like that. We board her with her day care and she goes home overnight with someone who works there. If you don’t have a day care, there are other similar services or have a friend watch your dog. You do t leave dogs alone at home for extended periods unless you’re Ted Cruz.
Anon
We have the pet sitter here when we leave, so the dog knows the pet sitter has permission to be there! When the pet sitter arrived after we left, the dog was frightened and hid in the garden all night.
I don’t mind the pet sitters staying here but when I arrived home from holidays once, the pet sitter hadn’t packed up her stuff, stripped the bed (our place only has one bed) and hung around chatting for way too long! I just wanted my house back!
We have a friend who loves our dogs and works full time so she just stays here, they get walks before and after work and the dogs are very happy with that.
Anon
When we get a pet sitter, they are there overnight from 7p-7a, but leave the dogs alone during the day (the same as we did when we worked in offices), because they are usually doing the petsitting as a side gig to their regular job.
The service we use schedules a “walk through” with us a minimum of 7 days prior to the day the petsitting starts, to make sure the dogs meet the sitter and the sitter gets to tour the house with us present. I would not hire a petsitter and then not meet them before you leave; that sounds like a recipe for disaster, to me. Make sure the dog spends some time with the sitter, so that they can recognize them again when they come. Once, we had the sitter come before we left on the trip, so we knew the dogs were cool with her and wouldn’t react when she came in alone. At this point, our dogs are old hands at being dogsat and they know the deal, so we haven’t had to do that again.
Ses
Whoever recommended Piranesi on one of the book threads, thank you!
It was a really atmospheric and relaxing read, and I enjoyed the narrative voice of the main character so much. It was nice to have a main character who was not frazzled, ditzy, or nefarious and simply likeable.
Senior Attorney
Ha, I think that was me! That was my number one book of 2019 — glad you enjoyed it!
Senior Attorney
Ooops 2020 — time has no meaning any more!
Ses
Well thanks SA circa 2019-present hahah
Notagirl
I wanted to thank you too SA! Piranesi became one of my favourite books of all time, and led me to “Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrel” which is so different and which I was also mind blown by.
I actually asked for and read “The Ladies of Grace Adieu” this Christmas, so 2021 has officially been “the Susana Clarke” year for me :)