How to Be Taken Seriously When You Look Young
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What are your best tips to be taken seriously when you look young, readers? What should you do if you look young for your age, and you do all the basic things you're supposed to in order to seem older (dress professionally, wear heels, etc.), but you still get mistaken for a college student? What more can you try to get your colleagues to take you seriously?
Reader E wonders how to be taken seriously when you look young…
I'm a college professor (outside your normal demographic, but I really enjoy the conversations here). I often am told that I look like an undergrad. I have two questions. First, how do I respond to this in a workplace setting? With a frosty “Nope, I'm actually in my mid-thirties”? With “I'm told that I'll be grateful for it one day”? Why do people think this is an acceptable thing to say to someone? Second, how can I actually look older so that I avoid these comments and am taken more seriously?
I'm short (5′), which is part of the issue, but I already wear 1-3″ heels/wedges (more would look out of place here and are not my style). I use basic makeup (tinted moisturizer/blush/mascara), wear professional and structured clothing, have nice-looking but understated jewelry (including my engagement/wedding rings), keep my wavy hair shoulder-length and mostly under control, and make an effort to speak in a lower voice. This all feels like Looking Older 101–I need the upper-level class!
Hmmmmn. Hmmmn. We've talked about a lot of this before — how to avoid acting young, how to lower your voice, and whether long hair makes you look younger — but it sounds like Reader E has already taken a lot of these tips.
What else can be done? I'm curious to hear what the readers say, but I did come up with a few tips.I don't think everyone needs to take these steps, but for people like Reader E, who have tried everything else and are still frustrated by people telling them they “look young,” these may be the tweaks you need to consider…
How to Be Taken Seriously When You Look Young
Go beyond basic makeup
I'm not suggesting Reader E do a full face every day, but there is a correlation between makeup and perceived competence. A bit of eyeliner, or even a bit of contouring (such as a darker eye shadow in your eye crease) can go a long way. Readers particularly love MLBB lip shades like Dior Lip Addict and Afterglow Lip Balm.
An easy up-do can also be a great way to look a bit more polished!
OPT FOR SLEEK ACCESSORIES
I think that skinnier heels (even for wedges) tend to read “older” than chunkier heels — until, at least, you get to the orthopedic shoe section, but then that also reads older. Make sure that your bags and shoes are good quality (and in top condition) — no scrapes, scuffs, or loose threads.
Our Latest Favorite Sleek Heels for Work
Hunting for comfortable work heels? We've got a whole guide just for that, but as of 2025 some of our favorites include Marc Fisher LTD, Sam Edelman, M.M.LaFleur, and Cole Haan. On the pricier side, check out Ferragamo, Stuart Weitzman, and Sarah Flint. For comfort-first styles, look to Vionic, Sofft, and Naturalizer.
Consider bolder jewelry
Some people do think that delicate jewelry is for younger women — perhaps because by the time you get a bit older you're ok with making a statement? I'd avoid small pendant necklaces and go for a bolder statement. If you're thinking, “but I'm a classic girl, really!” then it doesn't get more classic than a strand of pearls — just avoid the pearl-on-a-pendant look.
Our Latest Favorite Jewelry for the Office
Hunting for great jewelry for the office? As of 2024, we're long been fans of affordable brands like Mejuri and Jenny Bird, as well as mid-tier brands like Monica Vinader, David Yurman (especially this line), Dana Rebecca, and Stephen Dweck. For our $.02: spend money on things like a good watch (or watch strap), gold or diamond earrings, a pearl necklace, and more. Some of the earrings we've featured recently:
And some of the necklaces:
Add structure to your outfits
A collared or fitted sweater blazer can work in a TON of situations, even if a regular blazer feels too formal.
Our Latest Favorite Sweater Jackets
Some of our favorite sweater jackets for the office as of 2025 include M.M.LaFleur (the OG, the jardigan!), L'Agence, Summersalt, J.Crew, Modern Citizen, and Jenni Kayne. For budget options check J.Crew Factory and Quince.
In winter months, tweed blazers can also be a great way to add personality and structure to your outfits…
Blazers to Wear as Separates, In General
Some of the best blazers for women in 2025 — great for wearing as separates! — include options from Cinq à Sept, J.Crew (collarless and collared), Everlane, and Madewell. Hunting for a deal? Check out J.Crew Factory and Amazon (Cicy Bell, The Drop).
Spend some time tweaking your body language
There are a ton of articles, videos, and books on women, power, and body language — I'd suggest Reader E spend some time in front of a mirror improving her body language. She may even want to ask a friend to take a video of her teaching a class, having a conversation, or even just walking across campus.
As for how to respond when people tell you you look younger… when in doubt I usually try to go for something simple or even joking. “Thanks!” or “You made my day!” both sound good to me.
Readers, do you have any better suggestions for 301: Advanced Techniques in Looking Older? If you've run into this problem yourself, how did you deal with it? What are your best tips for how to be taken seriously when you look young?
Some must-read business books for women — update coming soon!
2018 Update: Photo credit via Fotolia / Alexey Kuznetsov.Original image (2014): Body Language, originally uploaded to Flickr by Kristian Bjornard.
My suggestion is be confident in who you are and what you know yourself to be capable of doing. Enjoy looking younger as long as you can. Don’t get offended by someone telling you that because, well, damn, being offended by everything seems to be all young women do. I can assure you, behavior has a lot more to do with how someone perceives you than looks do. You can dress the part, but if you act like a perpetually offended person, people are going to think of you as immature. I can’t believe what young women try to pull off as feminism. First, I read that you all feel harassed because A MAN asked you to smile, when you know it’s because you really do look like an angry, bitter woman, now I’m reading you all are worried about how people think you look? Which is it? No one is suppose to notice how you look or you’re worried about how people look at you? True feminist are writhing in pain at the mockery you all have twisted it into. Being offended at everything is a sign of weakness. Wanting to look older to be taken more seriously is the same as saying young women don’t look smart enough. Unreal!
I’ve come to accept I’m just going to look young for my age for a while, and I just prepare with every new job I get for there to be a learning curve for people who weren’t involved with hiring me. I’m work in the creative side of corporate (design+web) and at my last agency an owner thought I was just out of college until I mentioned I was in my 30s. I actually guest speak at universities and once I get talking and doing my presentation I guess it doesn’t occur to people to question my age — the only time it’s been a huge deal for me is when I actually WAS young. I was able to walk onto an art director position for a sort of visible media role right out of college, and if I look 24 at 32, at 24 I probably looked 19 even in professional clothing. I worked in the news industry and freelanced once for a national industry magazine over a weekend at a conference, and oh my LOLz everyone was talking to me like I was an intern — about what “great experience for my resume!” that weekend was going to be.
It wasn’t until my boss/mentor popped in and people saw me chatting with him that people really asked me what I did/where I was from. He was also sort of a national figure at the time in the industry and people were like “OH.” LOL. A woman working over the weekend finally understood I was a young manager and not an intern working a very specific and growing niche and I actually wound up being featured in the magazine a few months later.
These days, it’s irritating when a contractor or someone I’m not regularly in touch with drops by the office and tries to give me some “learning lessons,” but meh. My superiors know my age and experience and I have an old soul so it always seems to just balance out in the end.
I’ve come to accept I’m just going to look young for my age for a while, and I just prepare with every new job I get for there to be a learning curve for people who weren’t involved with hiring me. I work in the creative side of corporate (design+web) and at my last agency an owner thought I was just out of college until I mentioned I was in my 30s. I actually guest speak at universities and once I get talking and doing my presentation I guess it doesn’t occur to people to question my age — the only time it’s been a huge deal for me is when I actually WAS young. I was able to walk onto an art director position for a sort of visible media role right out of college, and if I look 24 at 32, at 24 I probably looked 19 even in professional clothing. I worked in the news industry and freelanced once for a national industry magazine over a weekend at a conference, and oh my LOLz everyone was talking to me like I was an intern — about what “great experience for my resume!” that weekend was going to be.
It wasn’t until my boss/mentor popped in and people saw me chatting with him that people really asked me what I did/where I was from. He was also sort of a national figure at the time in the industry and people were like “OH.” LOL. A woman working over the weekend finally understood I was a young manager and not an intern working a very specific and growing niche and I actually wound up being featured in the magazine a few months later.
These days, it’s irritating when a contractor or someone I’m not regularly in touch with drops by the office and tries to give me some “learning lessons,” but meh. My superiors know my age and experience and I have an old soul so it always seems to just balance out in the end.
For how to respond, a lot of people here are saying to thank the person, even ‘you made my day!’ but OP doesn’t feel grateful to the people making these comments and it didn’t make her day, she’s annoyed at their behaviour. She doesn’t have to lie or encourage their ageism… I prefer to be light and forgiving, with “Oh, yes, everyone thinks that I’m younger.” This gives them a graceful way out of putting their foot in their mouths — like, they were incorrect, but everyone does that, so it’s fine and I still like them.
Then they invariably say “You’ll enjoy it when you’re older!”, and I can conclude the conversation with “Perhaps; I imagine I’ll find out eventually!” which makes them laugh and keeps us all friends.
If I’m comfortable, I sometimes even go further: “I well might [enjoy it]! Or, I might like looking 40 when I’m 40, and 60 when I’m 60. I guess I’ll find out eventually!” Your mileage may vary on using the addition — I’ve found that sixty-year-olds (or whatever I guess as their age) find it extremely refreshing that this fresh-faced youngster thinks it’s a-ok to look sixty — but I imagine it depends on the region/culture.
The rest of it, you can’t go wrong. Good luck, fellow youthful-looking person!
Speaking of it being a-ok to look older, I’m surprised that nobody has suggested drawing in some gentle crow-lines or bleaching/dying some realistic silver strands into her hair. I’m considering that, myself.
If hair dye is a bit too extreme, and if you are the DIY-sort, then you might consider tying some silver hair onto clips, and hiding the clips in your hair, so that you have just a touch of silver for workdays. (Probably too difficult to hide it in straight hair, but it can work fabulously in waves or curls.) Nice shoes are well and good, but nothing says mid-30s like a touch of silver.