How to Handle a Midlife Career Crisis: Real Advice From Working Women

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If you're dealing with a midlife career crisis, you're not alone — and readers had a great discussion on just that issue the other day. There was (as always) a treasure trove of really solid, real advice from real working women, so I thought I'd round up some of the best pieces of advice.

Of course, we've talked about questioning your career a number of times before, including

• whether your job is right for you
• whether the salary for the job is worth it to you
• how your career affects your happiness
• when to quit your career, and
• how to create better work-life boundaries.

We've also discussed career change, including

• my best tips for career change (lawyer to blogger)
• books to read if you're considering changing your career
• 4 sneaky signs of burnout
• tips for battling burnout,
• when routines can help burnout.

We've also discussed happiness a lot on the blog, including rounding up the best things readers did to make themselves happier, how to shake things up when you're bored with life, and rounding up some great books on happiness.

The Midlife Career Crisis

First, here's the original question:

I’ll own that I’m solidly in the middle of a midlife crisis. Career is a big part of it. While the stories of women who quit their jobs to become an entrepreneur or underwater basket weaver or live off the grid are inspiring and awesome, something tells me that’s not realistic or feasible for most of us. I would love to know how other smart women have found more meaning or a new direction in their work. Because I have to keep doing something for another 15 years at least, and I’m low-key unhappy.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many women hit a point in their late 30s, 40s, or 50s where the question isn’t “what’s next?” so much as “how do I keep doing this for another decade or two?”

We rounded up reader advice on what actually helps — from small shifts to bigger reinventions.

YOU Get a Midlife Career Crisis! And You! And You!

This is so extremely common that, for some reason, I hear Oprah in my head shouting, “And you get one! And you! And you!”

(Sadly, she was gifting cars, not midlife career crises.)

In any event, readers agreed that it's incredibly common:

• “I don’t have an answer, but I want you to know that you’re not alone.”
• “I’m 49… I’ve been trying to get another job for a couple of years but haven’t been successful… I think for me the answer likely lies in consulting.”

There’s a strong undercurrent here that this isn’t a personal failure, but rather a phase a lot of high-achieving women hit, especially after years of optimizing for stability, income, or other people’s expectations.

How to Get Past a Midlife Career Crisis, Strategy #1: Try Something New

A number of readers noted that this is a great time in your life to learn something new. One person even said community college night classes are great for this, whether it's to find a new path, see what else is out there and how you like it — or even to take pre-requisites if you decide heading back to school is your best option.

Several readers suggested experimenting without blowing up your life:

• taking classes
• exploring certifications
• revisiting old interests
• testing whether a “dream path” actually fits your day-to-day preferences

It’s not glamorous, but it can be clarifying.

Another way to go about this is to try something old — revisit a hobby you loved before. As one reader said, “Midlife crisis led to my resuming as a very serious hobby the extremely impractical career for which I was originally trained.”

Our beloved commenter Senior Attorney commented on her approach to those years:

When I hit the glass ceiling, I completely remade my life in every other way. (Not recommending the first one necessarily, but…) I left my husband, made a whole new circle of friends, went to grad school at night for a while, and ended up getting very involved in my local Rotary Club and made that and other kinds of community service the focus of my energies for the last ten years or so I was working.

Midlife Career Crisis Strategy #2: Look For Ways to Pivot Without Starting Over

If you’ve been somewhere a long time, you may have more flexibility than you think:

• lateral moves
• internal networking
• shifting toward the parts of your job you actually enjoy

As one reader noted,

Seek out a different role at your company. If you’ve been there a long time there’s probably a lot of things you’re qualified to do. You can keep your capital and shake it up. Doing a new job is the best way to get unstuck and great to do it without completely starting over. Before you dismiss it as “wouldn’t work here,” think about it and network internally to brainstorm.

Midlife Career Crisis Strategy #3: Subtract the Bad

This sounds easy enough, right? Cut out the bad stuff and you'll be happy again! But this may involve taking a step or two “back” from your current position. For example: the problem may not be “work” — but rather specific parts of your work.

We talked a bit about this when we discussed Carter Cast's book The Right—and Wrong—Stuff: How Brilliant Careers Are Made and Unmade, in which he talked about quitting his job as CEO of Walmart because he realized he preferred the job before that one. He called it the “red yellow green system”:

He noted that when he sat down and thought about his job as CEO, most of the day was red for him — stuff he didn't want to do, stuff he dreaded doing, stuff he felt was a waste of time.

On the flip side, when he thought about the job right before CEO, he found that his day was mostly green — he looked forward to it, thought it was a great match for his skills, strengths, and passions — and ultimately wanted to do the tasks in front of him.

In response to the midlife career crisis question, a number of readers had a similar revelation where a step back brought them joy, whether it was going into consulting (working only 15-20 hours a week) or something else.

I had been at the same org for a long time in a very prestige-driven industry, org, and role that paid very well. But I wasn’t happy, and a few truly terrible years in my personal life spurred me to think big picture about how I want to spend such a big chunk of my days. Those years also highlighted how little my current org cared about its people.
So I quit and focused on a passion project for several months. That work touched on my industry so I didn’t have an obvious resume gap. I started job hunting, focusing on the parts of my prior role I enjoyed and eventually found a job doing those things plus some new things. It pays significantly less but still a salary that allows me to live well, travel, and save for retirement, and my colleagues and the the org are fantastic. I don’t work nights or weekends anymore and have still been promoted, and I don’t define myself by my job. I enjoy it and feel good about the work I’m doing, but I’m very much in a work to live mindset.

So my advice to you would be: research jobs/talk to people in roles doing the tasks you enjoy doing and don’t get bogged down in an inflated sense of loyalty to your current employer.

Midlife Career Crisis #4: Blow Up Your Life

Ok, ok, the advice wasn't to actually blow up your life — but it was to think about really big changes that would have a major impact.

For example, one reader mentioned she was seriously thinking about moving to Europe in response to her midlife career crisis:

I’m seriously considering trying to move to Europe, as they have a much different perspective on work/life balance and having lives outside of work. I don’t have any serious hobbies or passions that I can lean on and I live somewhere where there’s a lack of interesting things to do on the weekends or outside of work, so even when I’m not working there’s no clear answer on how I should be filling my time meaningfully. 

Another way to make a major change: pursue your hobby as a business. As one reader noted,

The female version of a midlife crisis is taking a year off to go to culinary school, ime. Then you confront the reality of those 3 am wakeups to get your oven fired up before the shop opens at 6 am and decide that the office job that starts at 9ish isn’t so bad. I’ve seen numerous women follow this trajectory.

Readers, I'd love to hear your thoughts — do any of these ideas sound appealing to you in the moment? Have you already tried some of them?

If you’re in the middle of a midlife career crisis, what’s helped you feel even a little more intentional about the next phase?