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Workwear sales of note for 5.26.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale just started! See our thoughts here.
- Amazon – Memorial Day Sales! Lots of discounts on Amazon Essentials and more.
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off lots of sale styles (prices as marked).
- Anthropologie – Extra 40% off sale.
- Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 25% off purchase (ends 5/31).
- Boden – Sale, up to 50% off.
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off sale; already up to 70% off (ends 5/31) – also mix & match sale with men’s shirts, 4 for $249.
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off sale styles (ends 5/31).
- Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19; up to 50% off everything.
- Express – Summer kickoff sale, 30-50% off everything (plus $35+ steals) (ends 6/1).
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!).
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything, no exclusions.
- J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event, extra 30% off.
- Loft – 40% off full-price styles
- M.M.LaFleur – Short but sweet sale (ends 6/1).
- Madewell – Get 30% off your purchase.
- Ministry of Supply – 25% off sitewide (ends 6/1).
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Up to 50% off designer sale!
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – Extra 40% off all markdowns (ends 6/1)!
- Theory – Up to 60% off + an extra 20% off.
- Universal Standard – 25% off sitewide (ends 6/1).
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 50% off everything!
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code.
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses. (Reader favorite bed brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Memorialy Day Sale, up to 60% off.
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- Favorite comfy pants for an overnight plane ride?
- I’ve got a nasty case of tech neck…
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What’s the best commuter backpack?
- I’m early 40s and worry my career arc is ending…
- I canNOT figure out the proportions in this current season of fashion…
- How is everyone wearing scarves in 2023?
- What shoes are people wearing to work between boot and sandal season?
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
Can we chat about New Year’s resolutions? Mine are:
1.) pay off my student loans! Finally under $25,000, think I can do it this year.
2.) run a triathlon. I currently work out never, but something about this is really appealing to me.
3.) figure out makeup. Like, I wear it, but I’d give myself a B- on skill right now.
I’m still working out the complete details on mine. I love spending the week of New Years looking back and assessing what I accomplished and what I want to focus on for the next year. This is what I have so far.
1: Pay an extra $12,000 towards student loans (This past year the focus was on saving for the wedding and honeymoon, which I was successful at)
2: Read 120 books (I increase this number every year and have accomplished it 4 years in a row)
3: this one is a bit unclear still. I want to wear 1 piece of jewelry other than my watch to work every day and wear at least lipstick and/or mascara to work.
4: This one is also still a little unclear. I want to lose weight. I have an appointment with a doctor who specializes in weight loss at the beginning of January and I’ll work out a plan and goal with her for this one then.
5: Get all necessary dental work done. I haven’t had dental insurance since college so I’ve been in crisis management mode with my dentist. I know I still have some cavities to take care of. Now that I have insurance I have a cleaning appointment in January and we’ll map out the schedule to take care of the remaining cavities.
I feel you on the dental work. I have insurance but it had a one-year waiting period… and I had a tooth crack. The one next to it wasn’t looking so great either. So basically, bam, extraction and a crown out of pocket. It was not a good year. And I need the implant done next year. I’m dreading both the money (my insurance will cover 50% of major work) as well as the pain part.
Question/advice for Sydney Bristow:
Beside, as I see below, reading on the train during your commute, how in the world do you have time to read so amazingly many books a year? (I dream of a totally-free schedule where I could do this.) I mean, how many hours a week do you work? Time spent with family? I am not a slow reader, but, for example, reading “The Brothers Karamazov, ” my most recent book, is not doable so quickly while getting the full enjoyment of the book. So, advice, please!
Advice *from*, goodness. Question for/advice from. Sorry about that.
Honestly it all just adds up over the year. I’ve always been a fast reader, so that helps some, although I do highlight/take notes in some of the nonfiction books.
I read some every day. About an hour while commuting each weekday, some before bed, and a few hours on the weekend. I work about 60 hours a week (mostly concentrated during the work week) and my husband and I are both introverted homebodies.
I typically finish 1-2 books a week with this schedule and about a book every other day while on vacation, which fills in the total. I read fiction fairly quickly. It takes me about 3-4 hours to read a typical novel. These are mostly fluff or adventure novels that I get sucked into and can’t put down. I also read a lot of nonfiction in the 300-page range. These take a bit longer, which is why my pace is less than 2 a week normally. I make up for it on vacation though when I can read almost uninterrupted on a long flight and tend to read early in the morning before others are awake when I vacation out west and am jet lagged.
Truly though, it adds up by being consistent throughout the year.
1. Take better care of myself physically and mentally. Workout regularly and go easier on myself/stress less.
2. Take charge of my personal life and be more optimistic.
3. Focus on jumpstarting my career either with a new job or really commit to this one.
I love how you’ve phrased number 3. That’s what I’ve been feeling lately and haven’t been able to put it so succinctly.
My decision on number 3 is quite difficult. Balancing an amazing boss who is willing to invest in me financially and provide guidance as I advance, but not such a great location or salary right now. The location and salary can have negative impacts on my personal life and unfortunately, I’m at an age where I’m starting to notice the ticking clock.
1. Actually work out!
2. Figure out whether to try to move or not.
3. Ditto with my job.
1. Run a 10k
2. Read 25 books
3. Save consistently through the year (we have a house to buy, and a wedding and honeymoon to pay for in 2017!)
1. improve my spending habits and reduce my credit card debt
2. Improve my work situation – whether it’s higher pay, conversion to full-time employee, or a completely new job.
I don’t make formal resolutions, but some things I want to do in 2016:
1) take and pass the bar in my new state
2) save enough money to finish our basement while still leaving a comfortable emergency fund
3) read 30 books (this was also my goal this year and I fell a little short but next year I won’t be moving cross-country and starting a new job. Sydney, I’m in awe of your 120!)
4) get into a consistent workout routine and improve my eating habits before we start trying for a baby in mid-late 2016
Your #4 is my big one- I want to be as healthy as I can be when we start trying for a baby in late 2016.
My subway commute helps immensely with my book totals. A few years ago I stopped watching things on my phone while commuting and started reading instead. I typically get a good hour in each day doing that.
Your #4 is an excellent idea. Before we started trying, I ran a marathon (in less than 4 1/2 hours too!) and it ended up helping to save my life.
I’m not saying this to freak anyone out, but people forget that childbirth and pregnancy are very dangerous still. I had a very normal, healthy pregnancy and then had some totally unforeseen complications that lead to me actually ending up in the ICU. At least five doctors have told me that the only reason I’m okay and that I was able to recover to full capacity quickly (versus months) is because I was in such good physical shape to begin with.
Longer comment is in moderation, but basically:
Yes. Be in the best shape you can be before pregnancy. I was and it helped save my life when freak complications happened.
Thanks Clementine. I’ve seen your previous comments and am so glad everything turned out ok for you and your baby!!
Right- I was lucky enough to see my friend give birth last year and it really hit that home for me. That both pregnancy and labor are a feat of athleticism.
After a lot of scariness, Baby Clem is currently passed out on my chest after a long, exhausting morning of cluster feeding and napping. I’m binge watching Property Brothers on Netflix and genuinely loving every second of having this kiddo home.
Don’t go crazy though… MOST births go fairly smoothly even if the mother isn’t in tiptop shape, and even athletic mothers can have complications. It seems like just another instance where we set ourselves up for self-blame if things don’t go as planned.
Ugh, I agree that many women go over-the-top with trying to (or feeling like they are supposed to) control every aspect of pregnancy/childbirth/parenting, but I also feel like people don’t realize how much being physically strong helps with all of the above. Like, I think just recently has our culture sort of even acknowledged physical strength as a valuable asset for women, and it really makes so much of day-to-day life easier when you can hoist the baby in carseat, diaper bag, random extra coats, and bag of groceries, and then squat down to pick up the dropped shoe while holding the door open with one foot. Yet there is so much freaking attention paid to whether you’ve “lost the baby weight” or if you have a pooch or a flat stomach. No, I want to know if you can fold the stroller and lift it one-handed into the car while holding the baby. Be strong because it makes your life easier and better, not because it’s another thing you need to add to your list to feel guilty about.
Get my life together. Everything fell apart this year so I took a job I was wildly overqualified for and focused on simply making it out alive. Now I can function again I want to get back into my gym habit, get a job within the scope of my expertise and deal with some lingering personal things I let slip (like an expired passport and not booking an annual checkup/dentist/optometrist)
I feel you on this one. 2015 was a sh!tstorm for me, so I’m hoping to get things back on track in 2016.
Same here. Buhbye 2015. You will not be missed. Looking forward to righting the ship in 2016.
Same!!! I can’t even begin to process how bad 2015 has been. Goodbye, you will not be missed!
1) lose some weight – I’ve been back on this track again. I have some dresses I want to fit in. Don’t currently have a scale and would like to not go back down that path.
2) travel – this is already somewhat covered, going on an awesome trip to Thailand-Hong Kong-Vietnam with my DC best friend, my other coast best friend, and another mutual friend of one of them. Also have a couple weddings scattered across the country, two in cities I have never been to.
3) get my financial house in order, maybe have a meeting with a financial planner
4) make it to mid-year so I can get my retention bonus at work
1) Be forgiving to myself while balancing work/parenting/being a person with some degree of mental sanity.
2) Buy life insurance and make a will. When I was going through the ICU scariness and they’re putting me on breathing assistance and all that, one of the main thoughts going through my head was ‘oh sh!t. I should have gotten better life insurance’.
3) Maximize savings. Ideal goal is 25k into savings, but more realistically it will likely be more like 10k (which is still pretty awesome!)
4) Remember that although being a mother is now an integral part of my identity, it is not my whole identity. I still have friends and family members and goals and a partner who all need me. This comes largely out of watching a friend end up struggling and going through some major marriage issues because (in her words) ‘I lost the fact that I was a person and not just a mom.’
#4 is a good one. The best trick I have for maintaining balance is reminding myself that I am trying to model for my children what a good life looks like, right from the start. And to me, a good life involves going out with my friends, a meaningful career, and other such “obligations” that sometimes take me away from the kids. They may miss me in the moment if I get a sitter for the occasional night out, but in the long run it’s healthy for everyone involved.
1) Stick to my budget, which allows me to maximize my savings and realistically still lead a really nice life.
2) “Lean in” at work and appreciate my job EVERY DAY for all the flexibility, benefits and experience it provides me
3) Read through the Bible. This year, I just want to read everything I haven’t read (which is mostly the Old Testament and the very end of the New) so it’s a little less overwhelming.
5) Be selfish–this is the year of ME. I want to focus on my health, my healing, and not worry about dating at all this year.
6) Find meaningful volunteer opportunities and “fill up” my week with new commitments and chances to get involved (I moved to a new city so I need to work on making new friends and getting to know the area)
Does anyone have suggestions on how to find a financial planner? I’m in the Bay Area, and I have asked friends for recommendations to no avail!
This. I’m in the same boat.
If you go to napfa.org, you can search for fee-only financial planners in your area. It’s not the entire solution to the issue of finding a planner, but it’s a start.
1) Get up earlier. I was in a great habit of getting up at 5:30 and using the first hour to read or exercise, and then the kids got sick, I got sick and it all fell apart. I need that hour back.
2) Curse more liberally, or perhaps I should say that I feel like I must always act pulled together, and I want to be able to just let it go and say that things f%^7ing stink sometimes.
3) Take care of myself by doing less at home. Seriously need to realize that the house must not always be clean.
I have a few specific books I want to read (e.g. Emma and Mansfield Park, which would ‘complete’ Austen) as well as some workout goals (run 4k in 30 minutes)
Mine is to stop eating refined sugars. I’m not going to go all crazy and start looking for hidden sugars in my restaurant salad dressings and stuff, but I just really need to stay away from the candy bowl at work, from the Costco Bark Thins, and cookies and cakes and all that other yummy stuff. Anyone have any ideas for reducing/eliminating unnecessary sugar that have worked for them?
THis has been a goal for me over the last few months as well. Unfortunately, I haven’t found anything that actually works other than just deciding before I go into work (or whatever) that no matter what happens, I will not eat sugary stuff. I also drink a lot of water and pack lunches that are yummy so I don’t feel like there’s no good food to look forward to.
1. Outsource! Finally splurge a bit and get a house cleaner.
2. Find a baby sitter (and get comfortable with the idea), so that DH can go out once in a while.
3. Along those lines, find myself again. DD is now 18 months and I am ready to let go a bit and focus on myself a little bit.
4. Get a bra fitting. Things have changed! I am ready to splurge on good support.
I’m on a forced no-dairy diet because I’m breastfeeding and my baby has a cow’s milk protein allergy, and I’ve found my sweet tooth only likes dairy-laced sweets (ice cream, cookies, cakes, cream pies, etc.). Maybe not too helpful if you don’t feel like cutting out dairy, but I’ve basically quit the sweets and most processed foods (over my own strenuous objections).
So, not to enable but I also can’t have dairy proteins and these are AMAZING.
When you want just a piece of chocolate, try the Good Life bars. 100% dairy free.
Thanks for the tips! Those coconut almond bars look great (where do you buy them?), and I have been missing chocolate. I’ll look into finding these in my area.
Our local major grocery store chains have them in the organic aisle. Walmart also carries the coconut almond bars! The chocolate bars are actually called Enjoy Life. Here is an Amazon link but the grocery store might have them like I said.
They also make cookies that are delicious!
Trader Joe’s has dairy free soy ice cream sandwiches, and the chocolate ones are amazing. Also, Oreos and Nabisco chocolate wafers (like thin oreos without the filling) have no dairy. My vegan college-student son knows all the vegan junk food . . .
1. Pay off debt
2. Lose weight
Trying to have more than those two goals makes those two impossible.
1. Take 120 classes on ClassPass (ended 2015 having taken 97).
2. Write and post 24 blog entries
3. Travel to two new-to-me countries
4. Send 12 pieces of mail (like, real cards mailed to friends for birthdays/just because/etc not just Christmas cards)
5. Visit Chicago (I’ve never spent more than 12 hours in the city, and that’s a crime)
I love your #4. I’ve been toying with the idea of starting to send birthday cards to people I don’t otherwise buy gifts for.
One thing I started doing over the past few years is send postcards to my nephew while on vacation. I got the idea from someone here. He’s too young to read but I think my brother and SIL like seeing them and are saving them for him to read when he’s older.
1. Run at least 5 times / week. Min 30 mins nonstop.
2. Try not to let small things irritate or stress me out
3. Do one new thing in 2016 that I’ve never done before. ( it was paragliding in 2015). objective is just to have a new experience.
Brunette Elle Woods
Love your number 3!!
I’m late to this thread but I’ll play:
1. Lose 5 pounds. 10 would be great but I’ll take 5.
2. Cut back on alcohol — no cocktails during the week (wine only).
3. Pay more attention to the finances.
4. Be in shape for the two-week bike trip in September.
5. Read at least 20 books.
6. Do the kitchen project if the numbers pencil out.
Yay Kat! This is a great expleaination of what you do week in, week out for all of us professional’s, so that we can become both professional as well as fashioneable! We should all thank you for your dedication to our sucess! Thank you Kat!
I came back early from the ski slope’s b/c there was NO snow and I did NOT want to sit around the lodge drinkeing with some yokel’s who just was stareing at me. And I was weareing a heavy wool sweater and legging’s, but that did NOT stop them from ooogeling my tuchus. FOOEY! What am I suposed to do? Wear coverall’s? No thank you. I wound up useing their fitness room alot which was OK, except that some doofus named Jed kept tryeing to help me use the machine’s. He did NOT know that I already knew how to use all of the machine’s, b/c we have the SAME one’s at the NYSC. So I did NOT tell him and let him think that he was an expert. I drew the LINE however, when he wanted to “balance” me on the elypticeal machine by centering my tuchus on the footrests. FOOEY! I said do NOT do that! So he stopped.
Anyway, I took a bus back to NYC leaveing Myrna and her silly Freind early b/c I want to set up all of my 2016 files EARLY. I am such an ORGANIZER, Margie says. She is here too but she is getting read to go to Lord & Taylor and return some gift’sand by other’s. I am so done with crowd’s that I think i will just stay home New Year’s Eve and have a fresh S&S cheezecake with hot coffee. YAY!!!!! I will have ampel time to work my tuchus off in the new year! Happy New Year to the HIVE and Kat and Kate!
Ladies, can you recommend your favorite underwear that has no VPL? Would prefer if it was not a thong because I find them very uncomfortable. Hanky lanky brand is too big for me :(
fake coffee snob
commando! Totally worth the money, IMO.
Inexpensive option: VS Pink no-show panties have been a game-changer for me. No VPL at all, love them.
Also Maidenform cotton dream boy shorts.
The Soma ones with the silicone grippies on them. Life changing.
Agreed… they do run a little big, but I think HP also runs pretty big.
Soma – Vanishing Panty Lines. LOVE.
Boxer briefs from H&m- 3 pack gender neutral ones sold by the register, not the ones from to men’s section. Or Hanes mid-thigh “boy briefs” from target. ( both these options are similar to the jockey skimmes that are popular on this $ ite, but cotton which is a priority for me.
Hanky Panky does make a petite version https://m.shopbop.com/signature-lace-petite-low-rise/vp/v=1/1560293145.htm?extid=SE_froogle_SC_usa¤cyCode=USD&ef_id=VoGEYQAAATwcmQto%3A20151228185009%3As&cvosrc=cse.google.HANKY40832&cvo_campaign=SB_Google_USD
fake coffee snob
I bought a leather jacket on ebay last week (it literally came in two days!) but it has some zipper damage that wasn’t mentioned – the male end of the zipper is super-worn, so I expect it’ll need replacement in the near future.
The jacket is totally gorgeous, though (madewell modern leather bomber) and is otherwise in great shape. I paid $200. At that price, would you return it or try to repair it? Any idea on the price I could expect to pay for the repair (NYC or DC)?
Brunette Elle Woods
Male end of a zipper?? I understand what part you mean, but I had no idea that’s how you refer to it!
fake coffee snob
Hah I had no idea either, I just did some research to try to understand if it could be repaired. It’s funny though because it’s one of those terms that makes perfect sense without further explanation ;)
The zipper would probably need to be entirely replaced. Figure at least $60. And it might not look the same, especially if the zipper is distinctive.
fake coffee snob
How much do you think is fair? I called a few (expensive specialty NYC) leather places and I’m getting quotes that are around $75-150 to replace the zip.
My estimate of $60 is probably dated. I don’t think the quotes you’re getting are unreasonable at all. If you can get it done for $75 it’s probably a good deal.
Ask the seller for a partial refund. I’d otherwise return it and buy the jacket again without the damage (set up an ebay alert)
Ladies – I need some nicer pjs. I like the idea/look of the button down top / shorts, but I’d love something a little more feminine? Saw some eberjay ones I liked, not keen on dropping that much cash. Any ideas?
Have you looked at Soma? They make their PJs out of modal (I think) so everything is really soft and cool to the touch and they have some feminine-looking options.
I’m a big fan of Victoria’s Secret pajamas, and their Body By Victoria line of PJs has the style your looking for in a really soft fabric. I have two sets of them myself! With the semi-annual clearance the color selection might be a bit limited, but it’s probably worth a look.
Anon–I love VS PJS too! I managed to get three pairs this morning, but it looks like most sizes and colors are now sold out. OP–you could try their in-store selection and see if any feel nice to you. They’re my go-to brand, personally.
I’m sure they’ll release them in new colors in a month or so. I can never remember when semi-annual sales end and the new season starts.
I had a rough weekend. Was supposed to travel to visit a friend for New Year’s and she flaked at this last second. I spent some time (and money) this morning rebooking my flight to visit my dad. I’m just in a pissy mood about it, and pissed my 2-day work week turned in to a 4-day one. Which will be very long because the office is deserted.
Commiseration, anybody? Anybody else in the Christmas break doldrums?
Still make it a 2 day work week. If you can afford it, book yourself a massage and mani/pedi on one of the days. Focus on the fun things you’re going to do with your dad. Get a voodoo doll of the friend that flaked and stick a pin it (kidding, kidding!) :)
My birthday is NYE, and I had plans fall through one year. I booked myself a spa day and it made things a lot better. Feeling relaxed from the treatments helped me to not feel as down about it.
I was actually supposed to get a massage the day I got in to my dad’s with his wife, but then that changed with my travel plans (flakey friend lives 3 hours from my dad). Maybe I’ll go for one here anyway.
I only get 15 days of PTO a year so I don’t want to burn it if I’m going to be here. I turned down other plans that I was invited to do here, to do my friend’s thing. Going to get dinner with a friend tonight. Just feeling dumpy, you know?
That stinks. I wouldn’t be above asking the friend who flaked to cover the change fees on the ticket, but then I’m not great at being the bigger person.
Why do you need to go into the office, though? If you’d already planned to take the days off I would still take the days and do a staycation. Read, cook, hit post-Christmas sales, treat yourself to a spa day, binge-watch TV, check out touristy things in your hometown…
I could ask, but I don’t think she would. Really, as far as I’m concerned, the friendship is done. This is not the first time she’s been a flake citing her “needs.” I was not happy and let her know. No response.
Like a lot of contractors, I only get a very limited amount of leave. No real point in burning them just to burn them, plus most of my team is in so at least I’m not here alone (not a lot getting done because our clients are out, though my primary client is here). I had been planning to take unpaid leave for some events coming up next year, so I’d rather save these two days if I can.
Maybe I will still get a pedicure, though, which I was supposed to do during said cancelled new years mini-cation.
Brunette Elle Woods
I hate New Years Eve. There’s always pressure to do something but I just want to go out to a nice dinner, watch a good movie and be in bed by 11:30. Unless there was a good reason, which would be surprising since you used the work flake, you now know your friend is not reliable and you won’t make this mistake again. Seriously, just stay home with a good meal and a bottle of champagne, best way to spend New Years.
I can think of a list of good reasons to cancel. Hers was not one of them, besides being a crappy and immature person. Fool me once kind of deal.
My dad wants to go to some party he has tickets to. So I guess I’ll do that. Or if I’m not in the mood, I’ll stay at his house with the dog and some wine.
This happened to me one year too. I could have gone to visit my then boyfriend (now husband) at his parent’s house and had a grand time. Instead, I stayed in my hometown because my high school bff really wanted to spend NYE together. Then, days before she got a “better” invite to hang with some sorority sisters and left me high and dry. It really really sucks.
Brunette Elle Woods
Well, if the tickets are already paid for…. go and maybe you’ll have an awesome time!
yeah. I don’t celebrate, and my partner was scheduled to work. I made plans with friends, and then got sick and stuck on the couch the entire 4 day weekend. ugh. I am still not 100% but back at my office.
Totally different situation but definite doldrums. Went home last week for Christmas and everything was a disaster. My dad who has been having health problems (so wasn’t going to be a super fun trip anyway) had a scare during the week which resulted in a 3AM ambulance visit. Thankfully I was there to help since my mother definitely couldn’t have done anything so that’s my silver lining, but I spent all week doing everything for my parents, and we didn’t really have a Christmas at all (and I loooove Christmas). I carved out about 3 hours of the whole week to see friends I hadn’t seen in months (I moved away) and they did something shady to me that I still can’t figure out (we had plans but then they seemed to be hanging out without me – middle school $h!t), and I’m just like – I don’t need this crap. Everyone seems so happy in their holiday bliss and I just want to sleep for a month. So I feel you on the doldrums.
Recommendation for teeth whitening gel on Amazon? I have custom molds from my dentist, but I remember seeing a recommendation on here that buying the gel through Amazon was cheaper and I can’t find it in the search results. Thanks Hive!
anon a mouse
I use Zoom whitening 14%. They have stronger ones but I have fairly sensitive teeth, and this yields good results without too much pain. Also recommend getting a remineralization gel to use after the whitening one.
Hitachi. Magic. Wand.
Best Christmas gift ever.
Don’t Google at work.
Is your s*x life that vanilla? If so I’m very sad for you.
Didn’t your mother ever tell you that if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all?
That’s really mean? People discover things at different times, and plain vanilla isn’t necessarily sad.
What makes you think her s*x life is that vanilla? No reason to jump to that wildly rude conclusion, unless you’re just a huge b****!!!! OP could be someone whose s*x life has been so amazing and satisfying so far that she simply never thought to seek out such a magic wand before……. expand your mind, troll, there’s a lot of ways to add a sprinkles to your icecream sundae other than a Hitachi.
Judgmental troll isn’t even logical :(
rude! there’s nothing wrong with vanilla and there’s nothing sad about discovering a new toy. Do your thing, C!
Oh look! #Trollnonymous is back with a new name so we’re all fooled.
Pls tell me that this was a secret santa gift from your cousin’s boyfriend or something.
My husband got me running shoes for Christmas. I am not a runner. He is not a runner. I do not aspire to become a runner (but would like to more of a sport where running shoes would not be needed). I have a pair of barely work running shoes at home and a pair of around-the-house running shoes that I do not use for running.
If this were a soap opera, this would be the tell that he’s a Russian imposter of my real husband, right?
Gah. Husbands can be notoriously bad with Christmas gifts. (What, just my husband? Oh, sorry, move along then.) If it were me, I would not be above returning them.
Oh honey. Honestly, I’d ask him about it. “Honey, how did you decide to get me these for xmas?” Maybe he read somewhere that women like new running shoes? That sucks though.
Or he read that running shoes have to be replaced every 6 months, and you’ve had your run-around-the-house pair for 9 months, so it made sense to get you a new pair for Christmas? That’s the kind of thing my husband might do. I wouldn’t read too much into it. I’d just give him a wish list next year.
More like he forgot to get you a present and just grabbed at the first idea he had? :)
Brunette Elle Woods
Haha men can be terrible at gifts. My brother pretty much stopped getting birthday gifts until his girlfriend came alone. I got the best gift from him this year and I know it was all her.
First Year Anon
Too funny- I ran around for weeks whining that people don’t want to get people what they want if it’s not ‘romantic’ enough- and all I wanted was for Christmas was new running shoes! (I am a fairly serious runner) I told my boyfriend “I would love new running shoes!” and he said it’s not what a boyfriend should get a gf. I ended up buying myself new running shoes and I love them.
To me, it’s even worse than your hubby bought you shoes when you specifically do NOT need them.
That stinks! I would return them and buy cute casual shoes instead :)
Men can be sooooo terrible at gift-giving. Our first V-day together my husband gave me a set of scented soaps. I have terrible allergies so I can’t use anything scented and I actually buy hypoallergenic soap to use for bathing and hand-washing, and that’s definitely not something I think of as a gift. I was so upset and questioned whether I should be with someone who barely knew me after more than six months of dating. It turns out he was just really nervous about what to get me and he asked his “work wife” who didn’t know me at all and suggested this. Fortunately I didn’t dump him and he’s been a great husband for six years and counting and has gotten much better at giving gifts. I think every once in a while, crazy/terrible ideas just pop into their heads and they think “oh, I should get that” even if it is a totally nonsensical thing to give to the wife/gf.
Totally agree. The only reason my husband is good at holidays is that he’s sneaky. His ideas are terrible but the execution is great. This year, knowing he is bad at things, I sent him a list of ideas. I asked him if he got it and he said no. I told him to check is email and “it’s not too late for free shipping!” Then he said he was all set. Oh well, I tried.
Christmas morning came and the sneak got me 2 things off the list! And they had been delivered to my house, and I brought in the packages, but he told me they were parts to his new sound system, which I totally believed.
One year he spent $5k on the most hideous earrings in the world. But he knew they might nto go over well and i got to return them for ones I really liked :)
My first V day with my husband he got me a grill pan and star trek pajamas?? Admittedly I like to cook and I do like sci-fi (though not quite someone who would ever wear star trek PJs – and I don’t mean any sort of sexy kind), but I was like WHAT? He sort of got better over time? Now he kind of thinks spending a lot is a good sign – I’m working on teaching him its not how much he spends but whether he thinks I will like it. I.e., he gave me a logo-ed LV wallet for Christmas, which was super pricey but not my style at all. Ah well. It’s a good amount of credit for an exchange!
Some people* stink at gift giving! I’d probably tell him that while I appreciate the gift, I’m a little puzzled as to why he picked them out for me since I’m not a runner and haven’t given any indication that I wanted to start.
*yes, people, not just men. I was pretty bad at it too when I was young, I still cringe at some of the things I’ve given people.
Yup. Especially people who never get any negative feedback because society rights off the task as unfit work for those with penises.
Do your menfolk have jobs? Ones that require strategy, planning, and thought? Then they are perfectly capable of being decent gift giver if they try.
Are they just cute shoes? One of my friends has the most stylish collection of athletic shoes that she wears with every day (non work) outfits and she isn’t athletic at all. Running shoes are not just for running. Maybe he thought they were cute and comfortable shoes to run errands in? What else do you wear with yoga pants and a sweatshirt to the grocery store?
They look just like my new and unused running shoes from 2012, which look remarkably similar to my run-around-the-house running shoes from 2010. Such a bright pink that you could wear it to the Indian wedding discussed downthread.
1) What are your best ideas for a lazy NYE? I’ve never been a big going out person and always look forward to staying in in pajamas with my husband (introvert here!) but am looking for some new ideas of what to do besides the usual baking, reading, watching TV that we normally do.
2) Any ideas about what the closest Western equivalent is for Indian formalwear? Looking for a dress to wear to a rehearsal dinner for an Indian wedding in which I’m a bridesmaid. The wedding is in January in the Pacific Northwest so it will be cool and rainy but probably not freezing cold. Most guests at the rehearsal dinner will be in dressy Indian attire (e.g. saris). I am paying for an expensive sari to wear to the actual wedding, so I would really prefer to wear something already in my closet but I feel like I probably need a colorful c-tail dress and my wardrobe of mostly black/gray/navy business-y dresses won’t cut it. Budget is under $100.
I read somewhere once that hot pink is practically a neutral in India, so maybe start with that and add lots of sparkles?
Plus one for this. When it comes to an Indian rehearsal dinner (a sangeet?), I think that the name of the game is wearing the brightest color that you have
I wore a fushia pink lace A-line dress to a sangeet as a bridesmaid and did not look at all out of place. I think a colorful cocktail /party dress would be perfect. Asos has a lot of fun dresses in the under $100 price point or what about rent the runway?
Killer Kitten Heels
For #1 – board games! We play board games on NYE, and I usually cook something “fancy” (not really fancy, but more labor-intensive than my standard fair, like carbonara from scratch or stuffed chicken breasts or similar). Also if you’re drinkers, you can probably turn the Seacrest special into a drinking game.
For #2, I got nothin’.
No good ideas for number 1, because you already listed what we do — watch movies or TV, drink an adult beverage and eat yummy/unhealthy-ish food one more time before cleaning up our act in January. And go to bed at a normal hour.
As for #2, I think one of the many lacy sheath dresses out there right now is a good option. Most have sleeves, so are a little more covered and on the warmer side. Many are in bright colors (fushia maybe?) or you could do navy if that’s more your speed and wear a bright necklace or shoes. Nordstrom has several options, so did Talbots.
Jigsaw puzzle or an addictive game? A couple years ago I spent NYE and NYD enjoying Plague Inc. I recently found Sim Farm and the Oregon Trail again – pure delight.
Introvert here too. I do that I call “best of the year”. Which means on new years I set up a pillow fort with hubs then best new drink/dessert/food, whether that’s a new recipe I tried that year or take out from a new place. Then watch whatever movie I loved that came out that year. It’s a good reflection but still totally tame.
find a super bright (spring colors) cocktail dress/top. Be cautious about length and conservativeness. Even though you are not going to wear a sari, they are pretty conservative (or can be), so be cautious of strapless/bare shoulders/low cut/short, etc.
blacks/navys/etc won’t cut it. You can’t make it sparkle enough. But perhaps you can add a super colorful top to an existing skirt?
I would say tasteful cleavage and an exposed back are okay, but totally strapless plus lots of cleavage is too much. Super short (worried about coverage bending over) skirt not okay. Interested in what others have to say!
Indians do a lot of color whether hot pink or not :) Saris have varying levels of formality – check with your friend. Neutral business dresses might work if the dinner isn’t super formal and you wear fun shoes and plenty of jewelry. Otherwise, maybe RtR a fancy dress and have a great time!
Thanks all! Love the idea of board games and puzzles and a lacy sheath dress in a bright color.
Lots and lots of jewelry and heavy makeup. Also, what is the religion of the wedding? Might wanna have legs covered for a Muslim wedding. Palazzo pants with a sparkly top would absolutely work. Alternatively, borrow a salwar kameez from a friend – you’d be surprised how many people own desi clothes.
No ideas for #1, but for #2 (i’m Indian and have attended hundreds of Indian weddings since I was a kid), anything in a bright color will be fine. You could probably even wear one of your business-y dresses without much notice. I would just say avoid black since that is not a color associated with weddings. Have fun!
Bling it on, whether Indian or western attire! Don’t worry about upstaging the bride. It’s not an issue with Indians, plus it’s impossible to upstage an Indian BRIDE.
Indian lady here. I second the suggestions. Or, pair one of your existing c-tail dresses with a bright and colorful scarf or shawl.
Killer Kitten Heels
Paging dog owners! We just adopted a five year old toy poodle from a puppy mill rescue this weekend. He’s amazing – already basically housebroken, smart as a whip, affectionate, etc. – but he has literally no concept of how toys work. While I don’t mind taking him on walks to burn off energy (he has a ton), I would love to also teach him to play indoors with his toys, especially because I know there will be terrible-weather-days when he won’t be able to go on longer walks. Any suggestions for how to teach him to play? We’ve tried a little bit, and he’s sort of vaguely interested in his rope toy, but mostly he just stares at us like we’re crazy people.
Ive had dogs who are just not into toys. However, I’ve not met a dog who isn’t into a kong filled with peanut butter or wet dog food or other treats. If he’s food motivated that may be the way to go. We have 2 dogs right now, and one likes toys and the other doesn’t. But both love kongs.
Our dog was like this – we adopted him at about 2 years old and have had him for a year. He was mildly interested in a rope toy and would fetch once or twice before losing interest, but definitely preferred not to play with toys and to be chased/play fought with. We gave up on the toys and just run around with him (either in our condo in tiny circles or in the big long hallway leading to it). He also didn’t understand the concept of bones until about a week ago. Enjoy the new pup! Ours has definitely been a great addition for us!
Do you have friends with dogs who are into toys? My dog is toy-obsessed–he’ll roll around on his back all afternoon batting it around with himself, and he happily trots to his toy basket when we get home and digs to the bottom and pulls one out with a grin of “I was thinking about you all day!” He goes to day care where there are rescue fosters and the owner frequently tells me that when he is in a playroom with a foster, he “teaches” the rescue to play with toys too and it’s not long before the foster is turning the floor into a squeaky minefield. I love it.
The ASPCA website used to have fantastic step by step training for teaching dogs to play tug and fetch, but it looks like they redesigned their website and removed those articles. Basically it involved tons of praise and encouragement at every stage. Dogs really vary on the kinds of toys they like and how they like to play with them, so you might want to try a variety of toys (soft stuffed toys, Kongs, tennis balls, squeaky toys, etc.). Also if your dog is friendly with other dogs, see if you can set up a play session with another dog and give them some toys. My dog loved fetch already but discovered the joys of disemboweling stuffed animals and playing tug from my sister’s dog. As your dog gets more comfortable in your home, he may be more open to trying new things and playing with you. Good luck!
It took my rescue pup (rescued at 1.5 yrs old) months to understand fetch, figure out how to play with toys, etc. We followed lots of instructional videos at first, but she just didn’t figure it out. She’s otherwise very good with commands and what I’d consider “smart”. It very well may take time. Enjoy your new dog!!
Killer Kitten Heels
Thanks everyone! Once he’s medically cleared and we get his weight up (he’s a little underweight right now, thanks puppy mill that almost starved him to death!), we have some friends with toy-loving dogs who would probably love to show him the ropes, so we’ll definitely try some puppy playdates, in addition to everything else.
A 5 year old might not be that into toys. Does he like anything? Snacks? Cuddles? We stuff kongs and use food toys because my dog likes 1. food and 2. destruction, and I’d rather have her focus on #1.
We might have the same dog.
Killer Kitten Heels
He does love food (see: starved at a puppy mill for five years), so I’m thinking I’m going to try a kong. He’s a teeny tiny little thing, so not so much into the destruction, but he’s pretty smart so he may enjoy the puzzle aspect of the kong.
There are tons of food related toys for dogs that involve mental and physical exercise. My dog doesn’t like peanut butter so isn’t too impressed with her kong, but adores her tricky treat ball and is disappointed when I can’t find it in the morning (I usually put her dry food breakfast in it). Toys like that might get your dog more interested in playing. You can also get puzzles for dogs (Nina Ottosson puzzles are high quality but expensive) that are more interactive than a Kong.
Have you tried cheese whiz? You can use it like peanut butter.
Also – Kibble Nibble and Kong Wobbler
I’m a little late to this puppy party, but our dogs are also worn out after days with good training sessions, so you can try some training for mental stimulation, especially on days when you can’t go outside. We have 1 dog that would walk 3 miles uphill through a blizzard for a ball, 1 that is cool with stuffed toys sometimes, and 1 that just never has cared about toys much at all. The last one is highly motivated by food and a desire to please his humans, so he’s a fun dog to train. We do 2-3 sessions every day for about 10 mins with him. It’s fun, too, because he has tricks and tends to be fairly well behaved when people come over because he’s got a strong down, stay, etc.
There are some neat tug toys out there with little pockets in them to stuff treats in, that might get her more interested! Then, attached that tug toy to this:
And look out, lamps & furniture! My dogs were so into this, that I’ve progressed to a long buggy whip, that they go crazy for in the backyard! They do pretty impressive feats to catch it (my Cattle Dog can jump about 5 feet in the air after this thing) and once they do, I let them play tug for a few minutes before having them drop it and starting over. Lots of fun!
And of course, don’t forget to use Amazon Smile to benefit your favorite rescue!!
Killer Kitten Heels
This is super-late, but thank you for this – turns out the rescue where we got my little guy from is a participant, so now every time we order him more stuff on Amazon, we’re helping the place that save him. Such a great program!
My dog was the same way after we adopted him. He was also about 5 years old at the time. We tried various ways to get him to play with toys, and what eventually worked was my boyfriend and I throwing a toy back and forth to each other really enthusiastically a bunch of times. He watched and watched and eventually he decided to join in! We felt a bit silly but it was worth it.
Does anyone have recommendations for a couples therapist in NYC (or, a therapist that would see couples)? We aren’t having issues between ourselves per se, but rather, have been dealing (and will continue to have to deal) with some very stressful family situations (exacerbated by certain narcissistic family members) and are looking for guidance on how to approach and handle these situations, both separately and as a team and also minimize any strain to our relationship (though we’ve been managing so far). We want to tackle this head-on before it starts stressing us out on a daily basis. Recommendations? Tips?
blue van meer
Surprised no one else has responded to you yet. I don’t have any NYC or couple-specific recommendations, but found my therapist (DC) through the hive’s recommendation to search for a provider through psychology today’s webs*te, which allows you to apply filters for insurance and specialty etc. I have been in therapy on and off for nearly 10 years and think it is always a good idea to try! Best of luck.
Hope you see this – I really like my NYC therapist. I see her alone but she does couples therapy as she tells me a few anecdotes since I’ve been working through my “pushing bf away” and perfectionism issues (being overly disappointed even though he is wonderful). I’ll also say I had intro sessions with 3 different therapists but she’s the one who “felt” right. So although she works for me – she may not work for you but might be able to refer you to someone else if the fit isn’t right. Feel free to e-mail me at christineisinternet at g mail dot com.
Shopping help! I picked out a pair of Keen shoes (the Presidio, I think) for Christmas, thinking they would be great with jeans when running around town and OK to use on not difficult trail hikes with the family. However, they are very odd looking. Toe box is extremely wide so they look like clown shoes! Any suggestions for alternatives? Must be black, I am standard size shoe, medium width, would sacrifice the “hiking” portion of shoe for comfortable and cute around town shoe. I already own flat boots in black so am definitely looking for a shoe. Not loafers, please, own them too! Thanks!
oops, that’s me, Bewitched.
I like Toms for this purpose if you are willing to forego the hiking part.
Have you looked at Skechers?
They have a lot of more athletic styles which have that shoe-type look when you buy them in black. I love my Skechers (yes, I know, but I don’t have a Prada backpack)….
Can you ever just be whelmed?
I think you can in Europe
There’s a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.
Derp. Late to that game!
I would check out the standard outdoor brands – Salomon, Patagonia, Merrell, LL Bean, etc or look for trail runners.
I have a pair of Merrell trail running shoes that I love, but I would not consider them cute around town shoes!
I like Skechers or Vans for just running around town.
I have a pair of barefoot-style Merrells for just this purpose.
I have an older version of these that I wear on the weekends, especially walking the dog. They look like hybrid sneakers / hiking boots. Super comfy and easy to slip on and off quickly.
I’m the poster who wanted to give a blanket as a gift – well, it went over reasonably well. I saw the recipient the next day and he said he had already unwrapped it and put it on his couch.
However, at the Christmas Eve party we were at, he asked if I’d talked to his mom about it! Errrr, no? Turns out his mom and grandmother both also got him throw blankets. He ended up returning both of them, but, yikes.
I paired the throw blanket with distillery tour and tasting tickets and a coozie. Those went over very well. On the flip side, he got me a nice item I had been lusting over and just two weeks prior had purchased a luxe version of for myself. You win some, you lose some. We can laugh about it over our post-tour cocktails.
Thank you to everybody who weighed in!
I am going to be the maid of honor in a dead friend’s wedding. I will be 9 months pregnant (yes). Friend has been totally relaxed about the whole due-4 days-before-your-wedding thing, and has told me just to pick from the world of dresses a bridesmaid dress in maternity (or a dress that looks bridesmaid-y) and she’ll pick the other bridesmaid’s dresses based on what I find. She’d prefer something in the lavender/lighter side of purple family but can be flexible.
My personal budget is as high as it needs to be, but I know she doesn’t want to ask the other ladies to buy $400 dresses.
Any ideas?? Websites?
DEAR friend! Not “dead” friend!!!
And I am due four days AFTER the wedding (and was 11 days late with my first…). The lack of coffee running through my pregnant brain is painfully clear.
I was like OMG about the dead friend! Thanks for correcting…
David’s Bridal. They carry maternity bridesmaid dresses in lavender with tons of coordinating non-maternity options.
I was on their site and only saw a few options-all looked like clearance in limited colors. Is there a link you could post? I must be internet challenged too!
This is the one I was eyeing. I never have any luck with their website though- usually wind up having to go into the store.
It seems like color is the only consideration here (how easy or possible will it be to match a maternity style to non-maternity)? Just get what works for you and she can try to color coordinate for the others.
Also, I’d suggest getting the dress at a place like Nordstrom where returns are easy, and don’t take off the tags until you get dressed for the actual wedding. Just because you were 11 days late with your first means nothing (as in, my first was 5 days late, my 2nd was 2 weeks early, my 3rd was 11 days late…)
Although I don’t know if Nordstrom carries maternity, so pardon my own non-pregnant fuzziness…
They do have maternity dresses! More dark purples than lavenders (probably because of the season).
The Dessy group has a few maternity options across their brands which are mostly reasonably priced and have a lot of color/style options. http://www.dessy.com/
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding at 9 months pregnant this past fall, and wore a floor length, lavender (“wisteria” is the name of the color) dress from David’s. I spent almost $200 on it with shipping and would love to pass it along if you’re interested; I kept it thinking I’d try to resell but it turns out I’m too busy/lazy to do that. It’s not maternity style, but was empire waisted and fit well (I sized up 1-2 sizes). It’s a size 10; I was 6 or 8 pre-pregnancy. I’ll paste a link in the comments.
I’m not sure I will be a 10 maternity at 9 months…I’m an 8/10 prepreg and with the first kid gained 65 (!!) pounds by the time things were over. I lost it all but would be foolish to think this time around would be different- thinking I’d fit in a street size 8 dress at 200+ lbs seems awfully ambitious. I think I went from a 34 to a 38 bra as well.
But I just may go try that dress on with a faux bump and see how it looks- will post back here if it’s an option!
This is SUCH a sweet offer, and I’ll also chime in to add that I love that dress. My sister was my MOH and I told her she could wear anything long and in a light color, and she ended up in a peach/pink of that dress and looked fantastic.
Ladies, just need some support right now. My longtime boyfriend just moved out today, and I’m really sad. I know it’s the right thing, and we will be doing counseling as well as him getting some medical issues treated with the hopes of things working out. But the house is…lonely. And empty, since he took half the furniture, which means every room is a pretty vivid reminder of what just happened. Anyway, I know it’ll get better with a little time no matter how the relationship ends up, but this is not how I expected to round out the year, which has sort of been a sh!storm even before this.
MIMOSAS! I don’t know why but I think mimosas pair well with empty rooms.
This might sound silly, but bring in live plants. Something to care for, and something to lighten the room. Living things help with empty-ness. Good luck. This is hard.
I like this idea!
Do you want us to hate him? Because I certainly can. If not, don’t leave empty space waiting for him, in your heart or your apartment. He moved out and took his stuff! Personally, you’re broken up and should feel free to sleep with a random dude or seven if you want. And get thee to Craigslist. Maybe not for the men, but for the furniture.
Don’t wait around for someone who doesn’t want to be with you and isn’t medically capable! If he gets better and you’re around great, but dude moved out. Move on.
Brunette Elle Woods
Ugh that’s sounds really tough, but agree with anonymous above. Don’t leave empty space! If you own this house and can’t move to something smaller, spread your things around and make it your own! Leave rooms you never go in empty and put all of your things in the rooms you use most. Don’t wait around for him to come back unless he is actively working on things. You have time, but you don’t have time to waste. Also, invite some friends over for a New Years Eve Party! Lots of space for airbeds and sleeping bags for people to crash there! Have a blast!
And if you have wood floors, put on wool socks and slide around the empty rooms. Set up a yoga mat in an empty room and have your own yoga studio. Decide what you want to do in 2016 (awesome stuff that was harder to do with dude around) and make space for that in your spaces.
Has anyone definitively figured out what causes those little holes in the front of knit shirts in the waistline area?? I’m guessing it’s frictions against my pants, but that’s really not okay. I’m so annoyed. And I’m returning this crap quality shirt.
I hate that too, and it seems to happen to so many knit tops
Do you wear an ID badge around your neck all day at work? I can’t speak to holes, but all of my sweaters get pills in the stomach and I finally figured out it’s because of friction from my ID badge.
I read somewhere that it is from the buttons on pants. Who knows, though.
I assumed that shirts just got stuck in my zipper once in a while…
Has anyone ever ordered from Chicwish? I’ve been looking for the perfect midi skirt (which, sidenote: don’t ever look for the “perfect” anything, you’ll be disappointed!), and they have a ton of cute skirts. The thing is, you have to pay for return shipping, so I’m really hesitant to make a purchase. I’m usually a 2/4 in Ann Taylor / LOFT and Limited, so how does Chicwish run? Also, since midi skirts tend to have a really fitted waistband, how hard is it to have them tailored? I’m worried that taking in such a fitted waistband would make the pleats look weird, particularly the style with big box pleats.
I think Extra Petite’s blog covered Chicwish at some point, so maybe look through her archives.
Thanks for the rec, her review is helpful, and several commenters shared their experience as well :)
Thanks for the rec, her review was helpful, and several commenters shared their experience as well :)
I don’t understand — “midi” just means a certain length (generally mid-calf). You seem to have a particular style in mind. Do you mean like a kilt-style skirt?
Yes, I do have a specific style in mind, I’ll post a couple of links in a separate comment. One of the outfits that is featured on Extra Petite is really cute, with a more swingy/flared style. I like the look of bigger pleats vs. the really tight accordion-looking skirts, and I want something with a bit of a flare, but not so flared that it looks like something from the 1950s. I’ve tried on several options and most of them have been too big in the waist, but looking at the size charts, the next size down would be too small. Also, the material was too stiff on a couple of them, so the drape didn’t look nice.
Oh bother, the 4:43 comment was me. I think technically the ones below wouldn’t actually be considered “midi” length, but they’re well below the knee, so I think they count :)
Here’s some links:
None of these should be difficult to take in.
Great, I’ll keep that in mind when trying on the next round of skirts, thanks!
No definitive answers – could be friction from desk/seatbelt, wear from zippers or a while host of things!