Favorite Accessories for Work 2016

Like our workwear recommendations, we recommend one accessory appropriate for the office on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. On Mondays I try to pick a budget-friendly piece, and the price rises on Tuesday and Thursday. I generally try to include one shoe and one bag each week, but the third item varies — we’ve done watches, wallets, scarves, hair accessories, office accessories, coats, and more. These were my favorites of 2016 — if you’re curious about older ones, here were my favorites from 201520142013, 2012, and 2010.

Ladies, did we miss any of your favorites? Was there any shoe, bag, necklace or more that you bought in 2016 and loved to wear to work (whether featured by us or not)? 

Below: Jan / Feb / Mar 

Below: Apr / May / June

Below: July / Aug / Sept

Below: Oct / Nov / Dec


  1. Helllooooooo? Anybody home?

    • Wanderlust :

      I’m here. Working all week. :/

    • Also here and working this week

    • Also here. Three day week due to the holidays, but I’m here Tuesday through Thursday. I think I’m one of three people on my floor (usually there are 50ish of us). We can work from home, so I assume lots of people are doing that. I have a 5 month old at home with a nanny, so that’s not really an option for me if I want to get work done. Building cafe is closed and office kitchen is locked because our admins are on holiday, so not sure what I’m going to do for coffee and lunch today…

    • I actually love working this week – no one is in my office so it’s a great balance of actually getting work done while still slacking off. So I’m here through Friday.

      • +1 I love working this week and by the end of it my email is usually cleaned up and archived, subject files all put away and everything gets a nice dose of lysol.

    • How is it only 11:20? I have already done two crossword puzzles.

    • I’m here also. Tuesday – Friday. All of our EMEA offices are off this week, as are most of the large gov’t prime contractors, so it is slow, slow, slow. I need to catch up on things, but it is hard to get motivated!

    • My practice gets busy at the end of the year (companies trying to close deals before 12/31). No one else in my office is in my practice group, so it’s quiet here and I’m loving the uninterrupted productive time!

    • Taking the week off because the kids are out of school. It has been a whole week now. In a related note, I am hiding in my bathroom.

    • Nope. Not at home. I’m at work. :(

    • Federal law clerk and I’m working all week, despite the fact I came down with an awful cold last night. Too much eggnog, I suppose.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I’m here. Taking Friday off but in the office Tues-Thurs. My son is coming in tonight from his dad’s and we’ll do our annual Cookie Day tonight. Can’t wait!

      • Fun! I’m off until the 3rd, so I’m trying to alternate between getting out of the house and staying in and cleaning and doing laundry. Today, I went to an enormous home store out in the ‘burbs and it was so awesome, I’m going back with a friend on Thursday (she’s redoing a room). Tomorrow will be cleaning the bedroom I use for storage. I need to find things I’ve misplaced!

  2. Is anyone willing to do some vicarious shopping for me? I’m drawing a blank…

    I need an outfit for our rehearsal dinner in February. We’re on the East Coast, so it should be winter-appropriate. The restaurant is pretty casual, but I’m fine being the most dressed-up person there since I’m the bride! It doesn’t have to be white, but I’d like something that’s either in the white or gold family. I was thinking a cool gold skirt (a-line preferably) and a soft ivory sweater would look great together, but I’m not having any luck finding a skirt that meets that description and is of good quality. A dress would be fine too, but would rather not wear pants.

    I love that we’re having a winter wedding, but it makes shopping for pre-wedding events really hard!


    • http://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/trouve-shine-pleat-midi-skirt/4479407?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=GOLD

    • This in the white version:


    • http://www.lordandtaylor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lord-and-taylor/metallic-a-line-skirt-0500048139463–1

      • This looks perfect! But the website address didn’t render correctly (it combined two hyphens into a dash, I think) – search for “metallic a line skirt” and it will come up.

        • Sorry I was trying to avoid a huge URL, but here it is: http://www.lordandtaylor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lord-and-taylor/metallic-a-line-skirt-0500048139463–1?site_refer=CSE_SHPZL_LT&prod_id=0500048139463&szredirectid=14828579144292552293210090302008005&CA_6C15C=120178030005728177

        • Arg: http://www.lordandtaylor.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/en/lord-and-taylor/metallic-a-line-skirt-0500048139463–1

        • Gah. Yes, the last hyphen should be two dashes. Or search for “eliza j metallic skirt” and it should come up.

          • Yeah, I think it’s an HTML issue (basically, website autocorrect). Lord and Taylor should actually know better than to put consecutive dashes in their urls.

    • I’ve had this on my watch list – looks out of stock but things often come back in: http://us.asos.com/asos/asos-embellished-tassle-long-sleeve-midi-dress/prd/7045227

  3. What about this with a wrap or coat?


  4. Anyone have 2017 travel plans they’d like to share? I have Vegas, China, Indiana, and (hopefully) squeezing in NYC to see Hamilton toward the end of 2017.

    • Skiing Lake Tahoe in February, and Iceland in April. The rest of the year is still to be determined…maybe Ireland later in the year

    • NOLA for a bachelore**e party in the spring, Italy with my hubs in May, my family’s vacation house in New England in late summer and and Asheville and the Smoky Mountains in the fall. Also hoping to go somewhere warm (probably Mexico) over Christmas next year.

    • honeymoon in Japan in May!

    • I am planning to head to Montana, although I am not sure exactly which parts/what my plan is. I have been looking at the NatGeo road trips and there are two that would get me to the big parks to get some hiking/running in. If Montana doesn’t pan out, I will be heading to Isle Royale NPS in Michigan. Whichever one I do not make it to this year, I will do next year!

      • ooh yes go to MT! you can drive from Yellowstone to Glacier pretty easily, or stop along the way in Bozeman (Museum of the Rockies = best dinosaur museum) or Great Falls (if you like Lewis and Clark, there’s a great interpretive center). In Glacier, Many Glacier is gorgeous, although Two Medicine or Bowman Lake will get you away from people a bit more. Bring your passport and go to Waterton National Park in Canada, too! Also, Flathead Lake (about an hour west of Glacier) is so beautiful and clear. In late July and August it’s warm enough to swim.

        • Thank you!! If I don’t mind not swimming, what is the best time for fewer people, but still pretty scenery? I know it will always be pretty, but I am thinking of spring/fall type changes in the flora/fauna (or anything uniquely Montanan). Although, I would imagine that at any time of year I could go out on some of the harder/more remote trails in the parks and be alone for good stretches of time, which is perfect for me!

          • ALX emily :

            I was in Glacier for the last week of August this year (so we got home 5 days before Labor Day) and it was not nearly as crowded as I was expecting/think it is for most of July and August because so many schools have started by late August. It really worked out great for us! And there were lots of wildflowers blooming. It was also cold for most of our trip and it snowed a couple of days after we left, so I think our timing was perfect!

          • ALX Emily – that sounds perfect. I do not care for the hot bits of summer, especially as I am hiking/running around. Thanks for the tip!

          • late August is fantastic, although it’s getting chilly by Labor Day at higher elevations. one other thing to keep in mind is forest fires, which get worse later in the season and sometimes close parts of the parks, although they are hard to predict Yellowstone is more crowded than Glacier. and in Glacier, Lake McDonald is probably the most crowded (and the visitor center at Logan Pass.) The big old hotels are pretty full but also really charming. You can also stay right outside of the Park, e.g. on the Blackfeet Reservation to the east.

            In June there might still be snow at higher elevations… and you can’t get backcountry permits to certain parts of the park before July 15 for that reason. also, if you want to backpack, you can enter a permit lottery, or there are some available walk0up from the rangers.

      • Are you going to do a race while you’re there? I have a friend who did Missoula and loved it.

        • It has crossed my mind! I really don’t like road races though, so it may be tricky to get one of the trail races to line up with everything else.

    • Really, really want to go to the national parks in Utah this spring!

    • Anonymous :

      wow – all the way to china! sounds like an exciting year. i’m right in the middle of wedding peak (maybe?) at 29 so most of my vacation days are allocated to attending weddings on the opposite coast. there are also plans for a quick trip to hawaii as my vacation of the year, and maaybe we can squeeze in some more domestic locations (LA?) but it’ll be a very wedding dominated year.

      • As fun as the wedding years were, I’m pretty happy to be traveling to destinations I get to choose and on the dates that are convenient for me. I will give some credit to my friends, though, in that some got married at amazing destinations that I would never have otherwise visited.

      • Anonymous :

        I’m 32 and the wedding years are ending, which is such a relief, even though I love weddings. It’s amazing to plan and take domestic trips to destinations I actually get to choose! Although my three best girlfriends all live on the opposite side of the country from me and two of them just announced pregnancies, so there will be lots of visits to their locations for baby showers and meeting the babies.

        • Wait till you get to start attending second weddings in your 40s. (Meaning, after divorce) The good thing is they’re usually more mellow and the gifts are optional or specifically not requested.

    • Anonymous :

      Indiana!? I live there and I have to say I’m kind of surprised about that one… unless you have family or friends in the area, of course.

      • Family and friends in the state, so looking forward to visiting both. Indiana hasn’t historically been on my travel list, but it turns out all the cool people are moving there! We road tripped out two years ago and had a really nice time in the area around Indy.

    • Anonymous :

      Trying to squeeze in Turks and Caicos, Kilimanjaro, and Myanmar.

    • Senior Attorney :

      We’re doing New Year’s in London. Can’t wait!!

      In June we’re taking a train trip from Los Angeles to Seattle. A friend knows somebody with a private train car so it will be us three couples in our private car tagging along behind the Amtrak train. So fun!!

      And in September we’re doing our annual cycling trip to Europe. This year it will be Crete, which looks amazing based on the photos our guide is sending us!

      In between the big trips we’re doing a long weekend in Atlanta for the Rotary convention, and will do some long weekends in the California Central coast, cycling and wine tasting. And I’m sure we’ll do a weekend or two in San Diego to visit my son.

      • NotAnAttorney :

        Can you tell me more about your cycling trips? My (new) husband and I are also cyclists, and I’ve been wanting to plan a trip abroad for a while. I’ve found some options, but can’t seem to pull the trigger. Do you rent bikes, or box yours up and take them? Do you purchase the self-guided tours, or join a group? TIA!

        • Senior Attorney :

          My (new) husband has been traveling with the same company for lo these ten-plus years now. The group has been through all the cycling tours so now they all put their heads together and figure out where they want to go, and the company puts together a trip. This year we did Sicily, next year is Crete. They provide the bikes, we bring our saddles and pedals and helmets. It’s SO FUN.

          Here’s this year’s trip: http://www.customwalks.com/tours/view/crete-bike-tour Come and join us!!


        • Meg March :


        • Senior Attorney :


          I was gobsmacked. Apparently it’s a thing. You own the car and rent it out to people. Along with, you know, meal service and bar service and so on. For a handsome fee.

          I die…

    • Cuba in January for a week and Peru in July for 2 weeks. Hopefully I’ll also have a few long weekend trips too

    • Husband just started a new job, so our travel plans are pretty limited versus 2016 (Napa Valley, San Diego, Park City, and Italy – twice! in addition to lots of work travel). We are looking to go back to Napa for our 2nd wedding anniversary and I may head to Denver and Austin to visit friends, but that’s about it.

    • KS IT Chick :

      10 days in Estes Park, CO, in July, surrounding a family reunion. (Last year was Branson, MO; before that, SE Oklahoma. I’m looking forward to low humidity!)

    • Miami; Denver; Princeton, NJ; Carmel, CA; Miami; Tokyo; Chicago; Munich; Phila

      Leadership retreat in Princeton with some downtime. Any suggestions for yoga, Pilates, anything fun or relaxing in Princeton?

    • I have a college choir reunion and possibly a high school reunion – one in south central PA and the other in northeastern PA, so it looks like I might be going to PA twice over the summer. But planning a trip for a friend’s 50th in 2018!

    • Buenos Aires and Austin are the only ones booked, but NYC and San Francisco will (almost) certainly happen to see family. Hoping for a great birthday trip later in the year — Colombia, South Africa, and Tanzania are on the short list — but I won’t book that for another 6 months.

      • Anonymous :

        Maui over New Years’ Eve, The American Club in Kohler, WI for Valentine’s Day weekend with the new husband, Nashville for Girlfriends’ Trip in April (anyone have suggestions for fun things to do/good places to stay/eat/hear music?), Napa for 50th birthday party in August (maybe), and I want to squeeze in a trip to London with my 15 year old daughter this year.

  5. Baconpancakes :

    I’m spending the day catching up on Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life. Anyone else want to freak out with me?

    • Brunette Elle Woods :

      I only got through the first episode and half the second. Let me know if it is worth finishing!

      • I hated it, especially the ending (except for Emily’s storyline, which I liked). Winter was my favorite episode.

        • Newbie Associate :

          HATED the ending. Loved Emily.

          • Anonymous :

            Kelly Bishop deserves an Emmy, especially for that scene in the whaling museum. The only things I liked about the revival were Emily, Paris’s bada$$ storyline in Winter (before they went into the whole self-doubting/insecure plot) and a certain cameo in Fall (won’t spoil it for those that haven’t seen it). Everything else was trash. The Stars Hollow Musical was way too long and boring.

          • Anonymous :

            Loved Emily, liked the Lorelai stuff for the most part, HATED Rory.

    • I’ve watched them all. And like the original series, I both love and hate it!

      • Anonymous :

        yes!! rory drove me batty in the new season but i was still pleased with the end and with lorelai’s little excursion.

    • I was not a fan, especially of Summer and Rory, but I hope you enjoy it!

      • Anonymous :

        Rory is AWFUL in the revival. Seriously so much more entitled and immature than she was in the original series and she’s 10 years older.

    • Marshmallow :

      I just finished it today! Mixed feelings. I was not the hugest fan while the original show was airing but I have enough friends mooning over the revival that I felt like I should watch it. Generally I liked it, especially Emily’s storyline and the symbolism of the Richard painting.

      Should I avoid spoilers? I am not sure how much I liked Rory’s storyline/ending.

      • Anonymous :

        I’m mostly in disbelief that that was the original ending the Palladinos planned. It’s not such a big deal at 32, but if that had been Rory’s storyline at 22?! It would really have put a kibosh on the life she and Lorelai had wanted for her for the entire series, and I would have hated that.

        • Anonymous :

          Terrible. I thought they completely phoned it in and desperately needed less artistic control. Some sort of Tim Gunn like presence to force them to edit.

        • Anonymous :

          Honestly, I think she would be more mature and a better person at 32 if she had the ending at 22. Ugh…she’s so awful now.

    • Anonymous :

      My biggest problem with the revival is that the Palladinos chose to ignore Season 7, including Rory’s budding political journalism career (seriously, not even a *mention* of that in the revival?) and Logan’s character growth. I understand they didn’t write it and they had different visions for the characters, but it happened and it felt unfair to the fans and the original series to just act like that whole season never happened.

      • Newbie Associate :

        Yes. I will always hate how proud they are of the fact they’ve never actually watched Season 7 and just relied on interns who “could have majored in Gilmore” to make sure nothing they wanted to do was impossible. I’m furious at the ending and basically watch the show now as if it ended during Season 7.

        I also never appreciated networks as much as I do now, knowing how direly they needed someone to rein them in.

  6. Thoughts on a small, simple eternity band as an engagement ring? Would stack with an identical band as a wedding ring. The problem is that it would probably a long engagement, and people would probably think I was already married. Which I guess isn’t actually a problem, but still…

    • Do whatever you want! People will always have opinions, it’s easier to handle that if you actually like your choices.

      • Yep. Someone is always going to be offended by your choice in engagement ring (and wedding band, and wedding details, and childbearing plans, and parenting plans, and so on and so forth). Do what you want and ignore the noise :)

    • We almost did this, but then my fiance it turns out really wanted to get a solitaire, because he “could always get me an eternity band later” for anniversaries, gifts, etc.

      Do what you want! There are some super fab ones out there, check out kwiat for fun inspiration!

      • Anonymous :

        Same here. I’d always wanted an eternity band but I like all things shiny so I went along. Several anniversaries later, he asked what jewelry I’d like as a present… and I got the eternity band I’d always wanted. Now that’s what I wear 90% of the time I wear a ring. I doubt my husband regrets getting me the solitaire, but at this point I’m sure he thinks sticking with “tradition” is a silly reason to have done it.

        You are correct that people thinking you’re married when you’re simply wearing an eternity band is not a problem. Not at all. If I look around at the women in my office, all of whom have been married for at least a decade, I see bare ring fingers, I see ring fingers that usually have something on them but rarely the rings they were engaged/married with, I see ring fingers with engagement rings only, I see ring fingers with up to 4 or 5 rings stacked…

    • FWIW, I only have an engagement ring and never purchased a wedding band. A few people will ask me when I’m getting married, but it is really rare.

    • I have a single ring I wore as my engagement ring and still wear as my wedding ring. It’s an estate piece with three diamonds across the top and smaller diamonds to the sides of those. It really can pass as either. I don’t care. This was the ring I liked and I don’t want another.

      • I like the sound of this. What did you do for your wedding? Took it off and had him put it on again?

        • Not the same as above, but we did this too. We didn’t exchange rings during the ceremony, because my husband doesn’t wear a wedding ring. If we had, though, I would have just taken it off that morning and used it in the typical way during the ceremony.

        • Yes I didn’t wear my ring to the ceremony and he put it back on my finger. I still love my ring. Our 17th anniversary is just over a week away.

    • My wedding ring is a 2mm bezel set eternity ring (I’ve also got a gemstone “engagement” ring) – I regularly just wear the band & love it. It’s nice and simple for every day. I love rings, so I like having my other one too, but if you’re a minimalist, no reason to not do an eternity band.

  7. I need some encouraging words. I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my kids will be (at best) almost 4 years apart. This seems like soooooo far apart to me. The logical side of me knows that there is nothing I can do about this (if I got pregnant tomorrow, which I’m not going to, they’d be 3 years, 7 months apart – more realistically they’d be about 3 years, 9 months apart), and I’m young so there’s no ticking clock and I have plenty of time to have more, and the way the birthdays would work out they’d only be 3 school years apart. But a huge part of me is so distraught over this, so much so that my RE thinks I should just jump to IVF so I don’t have to deal with the emotional aspect of this anymore. Does anyone have large age gaps between them and their siblings and they’re still close? 4 years apart isn’t ridiculous, right?

    • wot?

    • Goodness no. Your 4 year old is at an age where they could almost be helpful with a newborn. I’m from a family and know lots of people with age gaps far larger than four years.

      • not at all. I have siblings ranging in age difference from 1 year younger to 15 years older and I am closest the one 10 years older. My eight year old is super close to her four year and 2 year old siblings. As adults, 4 years is absolutely nothing. In childhood it is a super fun age difference. The fighting will be far diminished too. Ask me how I know.

    • This is not something to worry/stress about. You need to get over this.

      Four years is not a “large age gap.” My sister and I are 4 years apart (3 years 9 months) and extremely close and have pretty much always been except for maybe a part of middle school when I was 6 and she was 10 – still close but not into the same toys/games/sports and then close again when she was about 13 and ever since. My SO is extremely close with his 4-years-younger sibling and not as close with his 14 months younger sibling. (By the way, my parents planned our age gap.)

    • Lazy lawyer :

      Your kids may be close or they may not be, but the age difference won’t have any bearing on that, in my experience. My sister is four years older than me and we are very, very close. She is an awesome person who was always tolerant of me tagging along as a youngster, so I credit her loving personality in large part for our closeness. In contrast, my husband is not close at all with his older brother (similar age gap). You can find supporting examples for any imaginable scenario, but a lot is going to depend on your kids’ personalities. FWIW, my kids will be 3 yrs 7 months apart, and I’m thrilled that the older will be more self-sufficient when the new addition arrives. Among my peers, the trend seems to be having kids in very close succession and I personally couldn’t imagine doing that (the exhaustion!).

    • 4 years is an amazing age gap!! My sister is 4 years older than me. I know it is is cliche to say, but my sister and I are best friends. I really liked the 4 year difference and actually flipped when I realized my kids would only be 2.5 years apart. She and I were rarely in the same school, which meant that we didn’t compete for time and attention at school. We were close enough to still play together, but not so close that we were going through the same stages at the same time. Once my sister hit college and I was a freshman in high school, it was absolutely wonderful. She could provide solid advice on school, boys and our mom. I visited her at college and thought she was the coolest thing ever. When I was in college, she could visit and relive college. As professionals, we are close and provide support to each on professional stuff as well as being moms to little kids at the same time.

      As a mom, a 4 year age gap is great! A four year old is at least slightly capable of reasoning that a younger child is not. A four year old can legitimately help (as opposed to just praying that your 2.5 year old does not destroy the entire living room while you are running upstairs to find a new outfit for yourself and the baby). A four year old has their own world, which does not entirely consist of you (so less of their world is rocked by new baby) but is old enough to remember the birth of a sibling.

      • My brother and I were 3 years apart in school and I co-sign the benefits above. You won’t have several years of double tuition for daycare and college. Also, the older one will be out of diapers and helpful when the younger sibling arrives.

      • So reading between the lines a bit, and given that you are young and already have a RE, I’m going to guess that the timing issue is more complex than it appears at first blush. Is your stress over the age gap actually more stress over an ability to get pregnant or the length of time that it may take? Grieving your prior idea of a perfect family? Either way, hugs, infertility is hard. As many have said, myself included, 4 years is a lovely age gap. Can you take a look at what may be under the surface of this and is bothering you?

        • Yes, a lot of it is frustration about my body’s inability to function as it should and, frankly, annoyance at having to work so hard at what comes so naturally to so many other people. And I don’t really talk about it with anyone because you get the a-holes who don’t at all understand what’s going on, but like to pretend that they do. But this is how it’s manifesting itself, so for now I’m trying to get over this hurdle and hope that my anxiety doesn’t find another target?

          • Anonymous :

            Therapy. It really really helps. You don’t have to tough out anxiety.

        • And thank you for understanding :)

    • My kids are three and a half years apart, and they are very close. FWIW, I’m closer to my sister 1o years younger than me than with either of my sisters that are only 18 months apart from me in age. Relationships are not just about age.

    • Anonymous :

      What?? We were 2 years apart. We were never close. 4 years sounds great. Your RE should be encouraging therapy for your anxiety not rushing your plans.

      • My sister and I are 18 months apart and have never been and are not close. That is due to our wildly different personalities and interests, not the age gap.

    • Marshmallow :

      My sister and I are almost four years apart and we are best friends now. I think it has less to do with the age difference than the way you were raised/ personalities/ the kinds of people you grow up into. Don’t worry about it!

    • MargaretO :

      What? This is not a problem! I am way closer to my sister who is 5 year younger than me than the one closer in age. Lots of siblings with much bigger age gaps are super close, lots of siblings who are close in age aren’t. You should raise your kids to love and appreciate each other, have a healthy family dynamic etc. but to a large extent how close your kids are is out of your control. Take a deep breath!

    • My brother is 4 years younger than me and one of my favorite people. My sister is 6 years younger, and we are getting ready to go on vacation together and I consider her one of my closest girlfriends. It took everyone becoming “grownups” before we were this close, but honestly it was a great age gap. The sister and brother were only 18months apart, and honestly it was pretty rough on them until they were adults. It’s nice to have your own life separate from your siblings when you get to school and the like.

    • Anonymous :

      I think 4 years can actually be a great age gap for closeness because there is less sibling rivalry. And regardless of the age gap, there’s just a lot of luck involved in determining if siblings will be close as adults. You can’t force it. DH and his sister are 1 year apart and are perfectly civil to each other, but have absolutely no relationship outside of being at their parents’ house at the same time once a year. I think you need a new RE if they are suggesting IVF instead of telling you you’re being silly and overthinking this.

    • My kids are close in age. It was kind of a whoops and not planned but it has worked out ok. There are positives and negatives.

      The negatives are things that will be positive for you. Your older child can help with the younger child. Your older child will be more of a role model to the younger child. Your kids will each get to have their own babyhood which is something my kids didn’t really have.

      For what it’s worth I have two younger sisters. One is 2 1/2 years younger than me and the other is 4 1/2 years younger than me. I have always gotten along with my youngest sister much better than my middle sister. I think it’s because there’s less competiton between us.

      • Also I should add, there are benefits for you as a mom, particularly since you are younger. My child-raising years have gone by in a flash. My kids are both teens now. With kids spaced further apart you get to prolong those mom-of-kids years, which many women say were the best years of their life.

    • I don’t think it’s a problem – I’m 4 years older than my sister & while we weren’t the best of friends as kids, we weren’t so different that going on vacations was fun with her when we were little and we did play together and stuff. Now we’re very close and the age gap isn’t even really a gap at all. I also don’t think closeness comes with age – I have friends w/ siblings a decade (and some more than that apart) who are very close as adults, and others who have near-twin siblings who never speak. Don’t worry about this one.

    • lost academic :

      As someone who’s 2 years apart from siblings and knew a lot of kids in similar boat I was insanely jealous of the siblings who had about a 4 year difference. The relationship with each other and with the parents looked infinitely better and from what those friends would say it also seemed to actually be better.

    • Anonymous :

      Have you thought about seeking therapy for your anxiety?

    • Thanks everyone. In my RE’s defense, I had a miscarriage earlier this month, which was devastating. It’s my second miscarriage (the first one was before I conceived my almost 3 year old). So we’re at a higher risk for another miscarriage, and I think after seeing how I reacted to the most recent one he doesn’t want to put me through another one.

      What makes me upset is all the time wasted on that pregnancy. It set us back at least 3 months. (I know, 3 months is not that long a time, but it took a few months to get going and at some point all these nonconsequential amounts of time start to add up.)

      I actually never thought I was a particularly anxious person – I am generally very laid back – but now I think that I generally don’t care about things, but the things I care about I get super anxious over.

      • holiday blues :

        This is super stressful. I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Just…. ugh.

        This puts everything into a different perspective for sure.

        Have you talked with your RE about your anxiety? Going through what you have been through is traumatic, and if you have a tendency towards anxiety at baseline, this can push you close to that edge which it sounds like you are on. There are things that can be done. Life can be better… even when going through IVF hell…

      • I’m so sorry for your loss. Huge hugs to you.

      • Anonymous :

        It does kind of sound like you might be displacing your grief over this miscarriage into anxiety over age gap because, in a way, that’s easier to deal with and it gives you something to ‘do.’ I’m so sorry; this must be incredibly hard on you, and I’m sure continuing to try to get pregnant after that is scary. You might be thinking of it as ‘just’ a miscarriage, but have you thought about looking into therapy of some sort to help you really process it?

        • I was pretty anxious about the age gap before the miscarriage. Which was what made me so excited to be pregnant (they would have been “only” 3.5 years apart), and made the miscarriage extra hard. I just want to be done with this and stop having to think about it, and IVF seems like the fastest way to be done (the cost is an issue, but a pretty minor one as we think my in-laws would foot the bill).

          • Anonymous :

            Please do not have your in laws foot an expensive bill for potentially unnecessary medical intervention without trying therapy for your completely irrational anxiety about the age gap. Miscarriage is hard to deal with! There is nothing wrong with getting help.

          • As an aside, I really hate it when people start things with “Please do not….” It’s really judgmental and condescending. But since you seem to like it – please do not tell me to do or not do anything. Please do not call my anxiety “irrational” and invalidate my feelings. Have you gone through months of fertility treatment and two miscarriages? Have you been told that your eggs are not good? Have you gone three times a week for months to get your blood drawn and a probe stuck inside you to determine whether your woman parts are performing as they should? Do you have any idea what that’s like? You have no idea what my situation or my in law’s situation is, and I didn’t ask for your opinion on what I should or shouldn’t do.

          • pockets — fertility treatments are their own special brand of hell that no one who has not been there can understand. And those who have been there know the pain well enough to do nothing more than say that it is miserable. Hugs.

          • Anonymous :

            Your anxiety is irrational! That’s the whole point! Do whatever medical things you want but making this decision based on the age gap of your kids is completely irrational, in that it has no basis in reality. That is why people are telling you to get therapy/ because you shouldn’t make major life decisions on the basis of anxiety.

          • So your answer is, No, you have no idea what my situation is. Cool. Feel free to call me irrational and say that my concerns have no basis in reality, even though you have no idea what my reality is.

          • Anonymous :

            An age gap of 4 years is not a problem. It just isn’t, as literally every single person on here has said. Being distraught about that size age gap is irrational anxiety and therapy can help. No one, including me, has been dismissive of your bigger concerns, but the age gap part is irrational, and I think you know that.

          • Anonymous :

            to the OP, I would suggest being grateful that she has a husband and one lovely child. Some of us would love to go through months of fertility treatments. Some of us won’t ever be lucky enough to find a husband to go through this with.

          • Jesus, what is with the Anonymouses (Anonymoi?) and invalidating feelings? Yes, I know that I am lucky to have a husband and one child. That doesn’t mean I don’t get to feel upset and bitter about my struggle with infertility and miscarriage. There are people who are starving. Are all of us who have enough to eat not allowed to be unhappy about anything ever?

      • So sorry for your loss — I have been in a similar spot (2 early MCs back-to-back before first successful pregnancy). I would encourage you to both talk to someone if the anxiety is driving your decision-making (I felt like REs just play right off of this) and also looking at acupuncture to support your TTC efforts, esp w/ multiple MCs and even more if you’ve had a short luteal phase and/or low progesterone in early pregnancy.
        But FWIW, DH and his sister have a 2 year age gap and fought horribly for most of their childhood. They are still not nearly as close as DH and his much younger (9+ yrs) brother. My sister and I are just under 5 years apart, and while we bickered as kids and have had our differences at times, we are extremely close and pretty much always have been. There is way more than age gaps that goes into sibling relationships. I know it can feel like everything is a huge deal when TTC is not cooperating, but this is one thing that even if you had control over it wouldn’t necessarily lead to the harmonious sibling relationship you envision.
        Best of luck with everything.

      • Anonymous :

        I am sorry about your loss. I too had losses, I now have two kids. I hated, hated, hated being pregnant and I get where you’re coming from on the “wasted time” frame of mind, in part maybe because I hated pregnancy so much that I just wanted to get it over with.

        I am also not an anxious person, but I did have anxiety while TTC and pregnant. Anxiety disappeared the moment each kid was born. If I had it to do over, I would have seen someone about the anxiety during that time.

        Also, I have not done IVF nor am I an ER but I don’t think IVF is faster than the timeline you’ve put forth. There are tests and retrievals and cycles and all that jazz. If you’re going to start trying the old fashioned way sometime between today and two months from now, you have the possibility to be on a faster path.

        • Thank you. It sucked to have to go through weeks of first trimester nausea only to find out that it was for nothing and I’m going to have to do it all again. It’s not that IVF is faster, it’s that there’s a higher chance of conceiving on any given cycle, and given my and my husband’s various fertility issues there’s a much lower chance of miscarriage for chromosomal reasons. My RE explained it as a 12% chance of non-miscarriage conception with IUI vs a 40% chance with IVF (and then if I want more, my next kids are on ice and I don’t have to go through this again).

          • Anonymous :

            If you have diagnosed issues and your doctor would be screening your embryos pre-implantation, that’s different than IFV just because it’s faster (which was my take away from your initial post).

          • Yes, that’s what he would be doing. And I know it’s a lot of tests but I go in multiple times a week right now for bloodwork and ultrasounds, so the only difference is that I would be doing injections instead of pills to stimulate egg production, and I’d have to undergo the retrieval and implantation. It is more poking and prodding, but not if it works on the first cycle versus having to do three cycles of pills and IUI.

            I’m not trying to save 10 days here – I’m trying to save another 3+ months if I had another miscarriage, plus the pain and sadness that go along with miscarriage (aside from the emotional aspect, the physical aspect was pretty brutal too).

          • if you have known chromosomal issues that definitely makes IVF a totally different evaluation. we were lucky enough that this wasn’t the case. in your shoes, i would likely skip further IUIs as well if i could afford the IVF with the screening. for me, acupuncture was less about whether it actually worked and more about whether it made me feel like i was doing something to take control of a situation that otherwise felt totally out of control and frustrating. i also found that it was incredibly helpful with 1st trimester nausea (esp the little beads they gave me to stick on my wrists!). i wish you the very best — it sounds like a difficult situation with some tough decisions. it seems like talking about it here has helped sort out that the impatience is probably less about the space between kids and more about the frustration that goes along with fertility treatments and that feeling of wasted time. i wish there were magic words to make that feeling go away, but i can only wish you the very best whatever you choose.

          • I guess the issue is that I’m not sure if we do, right? We had two miscarriages but that could be just bad luck and not indicative of anything. Or given our test results and medical conditions, and two miscarriages, there could be chromosomal issues. One thing that infertility has taught me is that modern medicine is just a bunch of people making their best guesses on conditions. Educated guesses, but guesses nonetheless.

            I’m pretty sure acupuncture won’t help – I have a normal luteal phase and no progesterone issues (my progesterone with my miscarriage was pretty high). I totally appreciate the notion of doing something just to feel like you have control. That is the worst thing about this. You are so used to working hard to achieve a goal, and then achieving it, and that just doesn’t exist here.

          • I’m so glad (and yet so horrified) that someone else came away from this process with that feeling/realization about it being a guessing game. I was so disheartened and disappointed to realize that was the case. I felt like if that was the way I practiced law it would be considered malpractice. Yet it is accepted protocol in fertility medicine. It is just so frustrating. And understandably anxiety inducing. And that anxiety can show up in a lot of ways. Whether anxiety is rational is irrelevant. You are dealing with a process that is inherently somewhat irrational, there are huge expectations in play, and the whole thing can feel incredibly violating on so many levels. You make whatever decision is best for you, though I hope at least you’ve gotten some reassurance here that the age gap may be an unexpected boon. I still highly recommend acupuncture for the “morning” sickness – I was lucky enough to have much of it covered by insurance (fertility treatments were not). Really anything you can do to make yourself either feel more in control (even if it’s a bit of a ruse) or to help you process all of the ups and downs, try it and see if it helps.

    • workingmomz :

      We have that age difference and I love it!

    • Mine are 3.5 years apart but 2 grades apart in school due to an old-for-grade and young-for-grade b’days. Having a newborn and a fully potty trained, *capable* preschooler was awesome. Preschooler changed diapers. She got me stuff when I was pinned down by a napping baby. She and I had many giggles over poop explosions. She could watch a whole movie entertaining herself while I tended to baby things.

      With a 4 year gap you’ll have lower childcare costs fit oh go the daycare route. Plus your older one can babysit the little one starting at like, 11.

    • Tech Comm Geek :

      There are four and a half years between my brother and I. We are remarkably close as adults – I think it’s been easier for us because we aren’t marching together in lock step so close in age.

    • Nowt wrong with 4 years apart. My folks planned us that way on purpose. Only 1 kid in college at a time! Also, only 1 kid in diapers at a time! Also, my brother had an effective protector in elementary school when bullies were being horrible to him. He was a kindergartner and I was in 4th grade. GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU LITTLE WEASELS!! Also: built-in babysitter once I was old enough. Also I taught him to tie his shoes and other good stuff.

      We aren’t all that close as adults, but that’s because we grew up to be completely different sorts of people, not because of our age difference. We’re certainly close enough to deal with family crises and aging parent drama together.

      You’ve got enough things to worry about, don’t let this be one of them.

    • PatsyStone :

      All the better for paying and saving for college!

    • Jitterbug :

      Late to the party, but my sister and I are 5 years apart and it’s been fine! Granted, I probably wouldn’t want it any wider. I’ve seen siblings 2 years apart and they’re fine now but fought a lot as kids. We’re perfectly close at 5 years apart, but we didn’t overlap when it came to stuff like high school, proms, college admission, college move-in, college expenses, etc.

    • Anon for this :

      I am almost 41 and it looks like I won’t have any of my own children and I am trying to be sympathetic to your plight and failing miserably. Jeezus H. Christ on a Crutch and I am Jewish.

      As an aside, my sister is 8 years younger than I. One of my best friend’s younger sister is 8 years younger than her. Friend has two girls, 7 years apart. I could keep going, why, really?

      • If you’re still reading, I’m sorry if I come off as ungrateful. I do realize how fortunate I am, but it’s hard to be satisfied with that when other things that are important to you are not going your way.

    • My four-years-younger-than-me brother is one of my closest friends. When i got married, he was one of my two attendants (my two-years-younger brother was the other).

      Close growing up, close now. We’re all in our 30s.

    • My sons are nearly 5 years apart (10 and almost 6). They get along beautifully, it’s easy to find things we can all do together, we won’t be paying for both in college at the same time, and they don’t compete with each other. Plus when I had the second, the first was a huge help and not irrationally jealous (i.e., could understand that babies need time/stuff and could be patient in a way that a toddler cannot). I know others have chimed in, but wanted to give you a friendly note from someone who had that spacing and it’s totally fine.

  8. Ob/gyn recs in DC :

    Any suggestions for an ob/gyn in DC? I live in Capitol Hill and work downtown so looking for something accessible to either area. I’m looking for someone supportive of trying for a more natural birth.

    • I loved Lauren Gordon http://www.rhjn-obgyn.com/lauren-gordon-cnm/

      *Disclaimer – I only went to her for my annual women’s health exams. If I had been trying for a baby, I would confirm whether she was committed through the whole process or if it was possible you’d get stuck with someone else in the practice for an unexpected delivery.

    • Anonymous :

      We did a natural birth with GW midwives and it couldn’t have been a better experience. They work very closely with the OBs there. I’d encourage you to go to one of their monthly info sessions.

  9. Vicarious shopping request!
    My Christmas gift to myself: I’m going to Cuba! It’s a private trip planned by a company so I don’t have to do anything to plan. (They sent free time suggestions, though I could look for other ideas.) I’ll be in Havana and traveling outside the city. I go in 8 weeks and the company gave me a list of TV shows and movies to watch and books to read, so I’m going to go through those. But really what I want to do is shop for clothes for the trip while my office is quiet!
    Summer clothes are sold out or on clearance everywhere. Any suggestions for clothes I can wash in the sink. It should be warm but not very humid. TIA!

    • Senior Attorney :

      I am a big lover of what I call “space clothes” — those super fancy clothes that are made especially for traveling. They have a lot of nice ones at REI and I see they are having a sale on Ex Officio travel clothing right now. You can wash them in the sink and they dry really quickly, don’t take up much room in the suitcase, and are comfortable in the heat. I wore them in Southeast Asia last summer and was really happy with them.

    • +1 on Ex Officio. You also might have some luck with a Columbia outlet, the sales at Title IX (if their stuff fits you) or on Sierra Trading Post.

  10. What are the best leggings for short people? I am 5’1 and looking to buy a few pairs of black leggings but it seems like every pair are way too long….not a huge problem when tucked into boots but not helpful with flats. I did try to buy the Zella Live In Midi Leggings but they are all sold out in black at Nordstroms. Ideas?

    • WHBM sells leggings in short and petite sizes.

    • I’m 5′ and know your plight! I’m a big fan of Danskin’s leggings, just $20!

    • Eileen Fisher petite from their website. Pricy, but they last.

    • For workout leggings, the mid-length Title IX product (Title IX brand, not one of the other brands that they carry) have worked out well for me. They hit at what I think of as “capri length”, just about three inches above the ankle, which is what I want for yoga, barre, etc.

    • Anonymous :

      Most places will tailor them for you… easy solution :) Aerie runs extremely short and has petites, Lululemon will tailor for free, Lucy runs short and has petites, Athleta has petites and will tailor for free, etc.

  11. My son’s room doubles as a guest room for visitors (he’s happy to sleep on the floor in his sisters’ room). We currently have a full size bed in there as well as the twin sized bed he sleeps on when there are no visitors. We use his room as the guest room because it’s the only one with an attached bathroom that’s private (so, we have a master bedroom and two other bedrooms that connect to a shared bathroom). Anyway, the full size guest bed is not great and the bed frame is breaking down, so we are looking to replace it with something. A queen sized bed would take up too much of his room so we are thinking about getting one of those nice futon mattresses back in our college days that were held up by a wooden or metal folding frame. I’ve slept in many of them and find futon mattresses way more comfortable than air mattresses. When folded into a sofa style, it shouldn’t take up as much room either. Have any of you purchased one of these lately? As an adult, would you feel like it’s a bit juvenile to be offered one of these as your guest bed at someone’s home? There are some leather-covered ones available at high end furniture stores that look nicer but they really aren’t as comfortable as the college foamy ones.

    • Marshmallow :

      I haven’t purchased one so I can’t make a recommendation, but I would not think it was juvenile to be offered a nice, comfy futon to sleep on. If I’m staying over at your house I’m probably just happy to spend time with you and not have to pay for a hotel!

    • Anonymous :

      I would use one of the other rooms and make it an actual guest room. Why crowd up your sons room? Can you just put a full bed in a different room?

      If not I’d do a sleeper sofa. Futons are, to my mind, unacceptably uncomfortable for grown ups. I’d rather get a hotel.

      Or why not just do a full like now if it’s just a queen that is too big? Or just a full, and he sleeps in a full? Why an extra twin?

      Basically? Why beds why?

      • Anonymous :

        Ps- especially for couples- two people should not be sharing a futon in a many bedroomed house.

        • Anonymous :

          About 50% of our visits are from grandparents with various replacement joints. I don’t think they could comfortably get up from a futon.

      • I’m following this thread with interest. I think it’s funny that you think anyone has an extra bedroom to be used exclusively as a guest room. Maybe because I’m in crowded SF but come on. Do many people really have that luxury?

        • Anonymous :

          It sounded like she had selected this as an option from more than one. Yes, lots of people don’t live in SF or NYC and have guest rooms.

        • Anonymous :

          Yes. In the non-NYC non-SF rest of the U.S., totally common. Lots of people have a FROG (finished room above garage) instead or some other bunch of space w/ a door (so not a first choice for a bedroom for a young kid, but nice space to have).

          In my city (big enough for an NFL team), first year associates often have big houses (so at least 3 BRs). I am an old fart in an old part of the city and at 2800 sq ft, my house is considered to be small.

        • Anonymous :

          Extra space is also that house is maximum family size, so a couple could easily have a 3- or 4-BR house and extra roomS if they only have one (or a first) baby. It’s hard to buy a 2BR house, but if you want condos, people often buy a 2BR if they can afford it rather than a 1BR (or get a 1BR + den). Many older houses were built when people had larger families, so it’s lots of space per person by today’s standards.

          Even people in single-wide trailers often have 2-3BRs, so it’s not just a rich person thing.

        • I currently have a guest bedroom, a finished basement and a finished attic space that are not used in my daily life (basement is a play space for the most part). I really only prefer to put my parents in the guest bedroom, but when the whole family comes to town, I have bodies sleeping all over the place. I’m also the crazy person with a sun room exclusively for the giant breed dog. It’s a major perk to living in a LCOL area.

        • lost academic :

          Yes. It’s part of our needs in a house regardless of cost. If we lived in NYC again or in SF or a similar city the guest room would likely be the same room as the home office, but we need the space and are willing to pay for it.

        • Yep. We bought our house, in part, because it had six bedrooms, including a “bedroom” (door and walk-in closet, but no window) in the basement that has an adjacent full bath. We use it for when the ILs visit every month (yes, every month) and when other family visits. If we needed an au pair, it would have been the au pair lodging. It is great to have some space between us and guests.

          We never intended to have more than one child, but our set up lets us have our guest room, a dedicated office, a workout room (eventually to become the expanded master closet), and an extra room (mostly used as a guest room when the whole family descends or The Kid has a friend sleep over, but great for storing out of season stuff), plus our master bedroom and one for The Kid.

          Just one of the reasons to stay in the Midwest . . .

        • I have a 2 BR townhouse and the second BR is the “guest room.” It’s also an office in the sense that it stores a desk and lots of books, even though I pretty much never work in there. I also store my off-season/otherwise rarely used clothes in the closet in that room. If I had a kid I’d want 3 BRs so I don’t lose the storage space.

      • Yeah, I would like to know ahead of time if it was a futon, because I would probably rather get a hotel room than be uncomfortable and in pain.

    • Anonymous :

      Why not a sleeper sofa that pulls out into a full bed? The futons look so futon-y and I’ve never slept on a comfortable one (and they are not awesome as couches, either). I’ve slept on some good sleeper sofas (either pulled out or as a couch). Couches in kids’ rooms are good for snuggling and reading stories b/c the arms are softer than the wooden futon arms.

      [If truly too crowded, I’ve pulled a kids’ mattress into my room when I’ve had guests.]

      • My parents had a sofabed that folded into an /\_ shape as a sofa, with storage underneath, in the study. It was great. I guess it’s called a pull-out sofabed? The bunkbed sofa looks awesome. https://www.homestratosphere.com/types-of-sofas/

    • Can you get rid of the twin bed and let your son sleep in the new bed? That would free up some space. We had some luck with adding a foam topper to a sleeper sofa so you could add that to the futon when you have guests.

      • +1. Put one bed in the room and son sleeps in it regularly and gives it up for guests. This is what we did growing up.

    • Anonymous :

      Wait though, does this mean your son has the only master and you share a bathroom? If so change that. Guests can share he should have to and you, the adults who bought and paid for the house, get the best bedroom. End of story.

    • Anonymous :

      Why not just replace the full-sized bed and move your son into the room adjoining yours when you have guests?

    • This is what daybeds and “sleeper sofas” are for. Or just get one queen sized bed (it sounds like currently you have two beds – a full and twin – so it sounds like one queen would fit.)

    • Any reason why your son can’t sleep in the guest bed? I’m moving my kiddo to the guest room soon and was just going to buy him his own mattress pad/sheets. When guests come to stay, I’d switch it all out for them. Maybe there’s a reason I should be thinking about alternatives?

      To answer the futon question, it depends on who your guests are. I would not ask my parents or in laws to sleep on a college-style futon, but random friends or siblings would be fine. I’d say it’s along the same lines of who you’d be okay with crashing on your couch.

    • My daughter has a queen sized bed in her room and gets kicked out into her brother’s room (he has a loft bed and a small futon/couch in his) when we have guests. However, as she gets older she does not appreciate this.

      Honestly if it’s so uncomfortable it limits people’s stay with us I’m ok with that. My sister in law said “house guests and fish go bad after three days.” I personally think it’s two days.

      I also don’t like being a house guest either. Hotels are nice.

    • World Market has one that is gorgeous (it is more of a day bed). It looks like a really nice wooden couch.

    • Wait, there’s room for a twin and a full size? Why not get rid of both of those and just get a queen or king? I would have *loved* a larger bed as a kid (and really don’t understand small beds unless kids are sharing a room).

      • Anonymous :

        Yes — we have twin beds for girls who share a room. I wouldn’t mind having twin beds as a guest — husband is a thrasher. I guess you could also push them together if people insisted. But twins are great for when kids have sleepovers even if they aren’t sharing a room (or for when a stomach bug hits / potty training goes sideways).

        • Oh that makes sense about kids getting sick and sleeping over. Good thing I don’t have any as I’d miss totally obvious things like that!

    • lost academic :

      A full size bed and a queen sized bed are only 6″ in width. Would the queen really be so impossible to put there? It sounds like you need a new frame anyway, so I think you could find a rail frame that wouldn’t increase the width of the queen mattress and would work. If there’s other information that changes this, I strongly encourage a new full bed instead. A real bed is always going to be better. If you want to try a sleeper sofa, they make them now where they have the regular 4″ mattress (which are awful after about 2 uses) where an air mattress is built into the top, ready to inflate. This reduces the problem of the air mattress being cold quite a bit and is very comfortable in my experience.

      Under no circumstances should you get a futon to use as the bed there. If you do past these recommendations, make sure you make clear to all potential guests that that’s what it is.

    • A futon will never be as comfortable as a real bed. Have you considered getting a queen bed with a trundle to replace the two beds?

      • Anonymous :

        Or see where you think kiddo will do homework. At the kitchen table? Dining room table? We have a bedroom that accommodates a queen, but not a queen + any sort of desk.

    • Put whatever bed you want guests to sleep on size-wise (full/queen) and have that be your son’s bed. swap the flannel Dino sheets for white ones when guests come to town :-).

      We have a guest room with a queen, and one of my kids has a full size bed. When needed, kiddo gets kicked out into her sister’s room which has two twins. If ever really, really needed, kids can sleeping bag in the playroom and more guests can go in other kid’s room. I have a futon in my office but even my 5 and 7 y/o prefer their sleeping bags to it. My 30 y/o brother sleeps on the TV room (has a door) sofa bs the office futon…should tell you something about futons.

      FWIW we have a 4+ (4 official BRs and a bonus room) because my house is the house all extended family comes to for holiday. Divorced parents, two sets of married siblings and one set of nieces. It’s a lotta people!

  12. I’m looking to change up some of my routines so here’s a quiz

    What’s your favorite cosmetic (single item) and why?

    What’s your favorite skin care product (single item) and why?

    I’m hoping for specific brands and colors (if applicable) in the above!

    • Cosmetic – Revlon cream blush, because I am not a talented makeup artist and even I can use this one. Probably the same with other brands but I prefer drugstore prices and I like the shade selections.

      Skin Care – Paula’s Choice BHA liquid, because using it regularly has finally gotten my combo skin peeling issues under control.

    • Prescriptives concealer because it matches my skin tone, covers my dark circles, and is light weight.

      Ahava day cream dry skin because it hydrates my skin, doesn’t make me break out, and smells pretty.

    • Cosmetic – Tough to pick just one, but right now it’s the L’oreal True Match Lumi Cushion foundation. It looks so natural, it’s foolproof to apply, and the coverage is buildable for the areas where you want a little more coverage. My only gripe is that it doesn’t last very long, but it’s relatively inexpensive. Also, I’d only recommend this if you have dry skin, because it’s pretty dewy and would probably drive someone with oily skin crazy.

      Skincare – First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream. So hydrating without being heavy, and it wears beautifully under makeup. I feel like my skin just looks better the day after I apply it.

    • Cosmetic item – mascara. It makes me look awake and with-it without having to wear any other bit of make up. I like the Lily Lolo Natural Masacara in black. It’s CF.

      Skin care – coconut oil. I use it immediately after the shower so that it locks in the moisture. It’s the only thing that has worked to keep my skin from getting dry and bumpy. I also use it at night layered over my moisturizer, which has been the only thing that has kept my nose from peeling once it gets cold. I buy whichever is the cheapest generic food grade brand is available.

    • Mine are probably:

      Cosmetic – Trish McEvoy High volume mascara. It’s the tubey kind. No scrubbing to get it off, no black stains on towels, no raccoon eyes.

      Skincare – prescription Retin-A.

    • Anonymous :

      Cosmetic: NARS concealer in Vanilla. Switching over from drug store brands to this has been a revelation. It’s amazing.

      Skin care product: I know this isn’t a single product, but I can’t do without my Korean double cleanse (so a micellar water from Nature Republic to remove make up, and this amaaaazing travel-friendly rose-infused stick cleanser from S:UM37 afterwards)

    • Cosmetic – Marc Jacobs Highliner Gel Eye Crayon Eyeliner. My HG eyeliner – it’s super black and DOES NOT SMUDGE, even from my waterline. Worth every penny.

      Skin care product – argan oil.

    • Cosmetic – Urban Decay eye shadow primer – without it eye shadow creases and looks horrible on me

      Skin Care – St. Ives Apricot Scrub – I’ve been using it for 20 years. Guarantees lovely smooth skin, and keeps wrinkles away.

  13. anonymous :

    I just bought these and I’m not sure if I’ll keep them. Are they cute? Versatile? How does one style cognac boots?

  14. anonymous :

    Oops, these are the boots I asked about above

    http://www.brooksbrothers.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-brooksbrothers-Site/default/Product-Show?pid=WF00342&CMP=EMC_OrderConfirmation_TRIG&j=3925788&[email protected]&l=547_HTML&u=59204557&mid=7001520&jb=20641

  15. Senior Attorney :

    And… 2016 kicks us in the teeth on the way out.

    R.I.P., Carrie Fisher.

  16. Sloan Sabbith :

    Things I love finding out the hard way:

    My new booties have no tread/grip on the bottom. Found this out while walking across the office kitchen’s linoleum floor with a lid-less thermos of scalding hot water for tea. Slipped and dumped the water all over my hand, the floor, my blazer, and my pants. Ow. Ow. Ow.

  17. Ended up in moderation, so apologies if this posts twice. What are the best leggings for short people? I am 5’1 and looking to buy a few pairs of black leggings. I have tried a few options and they all are way too long and pool around the ankles. Any favorites out there?

    • Marshmallow :

      Try a tight that says it’s 7/8, like the Lululemon “high times pant.” I’m 5’4″ and they are just above my ankles.

  18. shoe challenged :

    I am looking for a pair of loafers or similar that I can wear with skinny pants and socks. During the summer, I wear flats but all of my winter-ish shoes look clunky and weird. Any ideas?

    • Unfortunately, I think skinny pants are a no-socks look. Assuming we are talking about work skinny dress pants, I can’t see them working well with boots either. Maybe knee-high hosiery?

      Unhelpful, but its not a “you” problem.

      • shoe challenged :

        Hah yeah everything looks weird and then I’m annoyed because I have this wardrobe that doesn’t work.

      • Depending on the pant, they can look cute w booties. I also like anklet stockings

    • Look at Oxford shoes with a cutout. When I google cutout Oxford shoe I see lots of options. I have a pair from Fidji that I love but I don’t think the specific pair is available any more.

      • http://www.saagershoeshop.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=Fidji-V654&click=667&utm_source=googlebase&utm_medium=shoppingengine&gdffi=343f0b0f69f04e71bc2612c8d6c500c9&gdfms=64FD253126574483A5FD4960032027C6&gclid=CJyfqO6ildECFUdhfgodrl4FEA

    • shoe challenged :


    • Anonymous :

      Dansko Louise. Super comfy.

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