Favorite Accessories for Work, 2017 Edition

Like our workwear recommendations, we recommend one accessory (or desk accessory) appropriate for the office on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. On Mondays I try to pick a budget-friendly piece, and the prices rise on Tuesday and Thursday. I generally try to include one shoe and one bag each week, but the third item varies — we’ve done watches, wallets, scarves, hair accessories, office accessories, coats, and more. These were my favorites of 2017 — if you’re curious about older ones, here were my favorites from 20162015,  201420132012, and 2010. (Please note that anything marked with an asterisk is still available!)

Ladies, did we miss any of your favorites? Was there any shoe, bag, necklace or more that you bought in 2017 and loved to wear to work (whether featured by us or not)? the best shoes and bags to wear to work 2017

Pictured below: January / February* / March

the best shoes and bags to wear to work 2017 - Ferragamo, Gigi, DvF

Below: April* / May* / June

the best bags and jewelry to wear to work 2017 - Tory Burch, EF Collection, Burberry

Below: July* / August* / September

the best shoes and bags to take to the office - Rockport, Prada, Tory Burch

Below: October / November* / December*

If you’re looking for one easy Pin, here you go — please feel free to share this!

Presenting... some of our very favorite accessories for work from our recommendations in 2017! These are Kat's favorites from the bags for work, shoes for the office, and other jewelry pieces and desk accessories we recommended. Which were your favorites?


  1. Baconpancakes :

    Maybe it’s weight gain, maybe it’s all the minimalist fashion blogs I follow, or maybe it’s the constant barrage of depressing news, but I’ve noticed a strong disinclination towards my brightly-colored wardrobe items this year – is it just me? It gets boring, wearing just black and navy and grey and camel, but when I pick out brighter-colored pieces to wear, I just feel uncomfortable.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m with you. I wear navy, forest green, black and burgandy/dark purple. I feel way more comfortable in dark colors, so the summer is a ton of navy and I look forward to fall/winter when I can at least add in some color in the form of dark green/purple.

      • Baconpancakes :

        It’s weird for me, though! Last winter, I was all about pairing bright red with camel and navy with bright pink. Now, burgundy is about the brightest I feel like wearing.

    • Anon in NYC :

      Not alone. But it started for me a few years ago. I feel like my wardrobe is boring, but also I feel uncomfortable when my clothes are noticeable. I need the budget version of MM La Fleur.

    • Cornellian. :

      Not just you. I don’t follow any other fashion blogs and I haven’t gained weight, so I think it’s either general trends or world news.

      • Interesting! This is me as well. I thought maybe it had to do with hitting my mid-30s? I was always a fan of bright colors, but I wonder if I feel more a need now to look “sophisticated.” Or if it feels like more of a risk of looking garish or dowdy in bright colors now that I’m not so young anymore.

      • I agree that darker/more muted colors seem like a general trend. I have several brightly colored dresses that I wore the heck out of for a couple of years. Now, I feel like those seem dated or at least off-trend, and I reach for more muted colors–not necessarily just black/tan/gray, but burgundy and dark teal and forest green and navy.

    • Marshmallow :

      Exactly the same. I wore really bright colors through law school and first few years of practice, but the last year or so I just feel like they don’t fit my personality anymore. I also don’t see a ton of bright colors among my colleagues or on the street, so it could just be a larger trend.

    • IDK I am becoming more of a magpie — lots of hot pink and white. I just can’t deal with still more black and charcoal for 3 more months.

      That said, I must have 8 black sweaters of various iterations (cardi, wrap cardi, v neck, crew neck, turtle neck, cashmere versions of the foregoing, etc.). Bleh.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I had put my bright items on hold for a year or two but I feel more like wearing them lately. It’s my way of fighting the general gloom…

    • Aquae Sulis :

      I’m the same; burgundy is about the brightest colour I buy at the moment. I used to like black and brighter colours together, but now the contrast seems wrong.

    • I am now officially in camp: Black/Gray/ivory+jewel tones of green, blue, and purple. I have finally accepted, even though they are beautiful colors – red, yellow, orange, pastels, brights – they just live in my closet and become a donation.

  2. Not sure who is reading today but has anyone invested in Bitcoin recently? I’m thinking about putting a small amount in just to see what happens. No amount that I would fear losing – if I earn anything then great, if I lose it, then there goes that and it’s not that big of a deal. Just curious if anyone has made anything by only investing a small amount.

    • AlexisFaye :

      I’ve bought bitcoin, ethereum, and litecoin. I bought right before thanksgiving. Sold some off when it was middling high, and bought the same amount back again when it was lower. If I sold it all now, I will have doubled my money. Coinbase is the app I’m using. It is prone to crashing. You can’t really do fast trading (it’s cumbersome and not designed for it) and it takes a chunk when you buy/sell. But it’s easy to use for someone who doesn’t want to get into the weeds with it.

      I’m having fun, but not taking it seriously.

      • My husband is doing the same thing. He started by buying into a Bitcoin ETF then switched to directly buying Bitcoin and ethereum via Coinbase with a small amount of fun money. What he’s invested has definitely gone up so far. I’m skeptical (but fine with it being a gambling amount) but he is pretty convinced by the underlying technology (blockchain).

  3. It’s so quiet here (comment section) this week! I’m envious of everyone who is not working :). Shout out to those of us who are here.

    • Ha I was just thinking the same, I’m jealous of everyone who is not working this week! I’m here all week. It’s very quiet so I’m getting caught up on all my blogs, but still. Would be nicer to be on my couch watching a random movie!

    • Linda from HR :

      I’m only a little jealous of the people who aren’t working, because they didn’t have to go outside this morning! Scraping the ice off my car wasn’t fun, I’m tempted to ask if I can work from home later this week.

      But I am wondering, is there a polite, non-judgmental sounding way to explain to friends that I am trying to make the most out of this short workweek? I was in the middle of a stressful holiday job hunt last year, and it’s mostly because of that that I really want to work hard and prove my value to the team, even when a lot of people are on vacation or taking it easy at work. I think taking time off, relaxing, reduced hours, etc. are fine and I don’t want to sound like I think I’m better than them for not doing the same, but I may need people to understand that I am taking work seriously this week.

      • Those words make perfect sense to me :). I’ve absolutely been there, too. Are people not respecting you when you say this?

        Also: So happy for you that this time this year is better than this time last year!

        • Linda from HR :

          Thanks! I am super thankful for this job, but it always sounds weird to say out loud when I have so many other things to be thankful for. I guess I’m trying to avoid that (awful and sexist) career obsessed woman stereotype.

          • Oooh, that doesn’t sound fun. Yes, I’m lucky that in my current social group, both the men and women are ambitious, and the women probably edge out the men in terms of ambition. It does make it easier to say things like that. No advice for dealing with gender stereotypes, then, just commiseration.

      • If people ask, can you say that you are using the quiet week to “knock out Big Project X” or to “take a deep dive into Process Improvement Y” or some other type of wording to indicate you’ll be taking advantage of the quiet, interruption free week to be really focused?

        • Frozen Peach :

          That’s what I say! I always take the week before off and then come in between Xmas and NYE so I can get some quiet time to catch up on all the loose end balloons floating around in the back of my mind.

          • This actually is perfect wording to me.
            But I’m the token non-Christmas celebrator in the office, so…

        • I use the quiet week to make sure I am all caught up on my billing. Frank always keeps track for me, but he always tells me at the end that I am short. I told the manageing partner that this was a trick just to get me to come in rather then me staying home and billeing, but the manageing partner says Frank is responsible for all billing and he will NOT second guess him. FOOEY! For once I wish I did NOT have to come into work. I prefer to go to L&T and shop this week, but Frank wants to SEE me in the office. DOUBEL FOOEY on him. I did verify that I am on track to do all of my hours by close of busness Thursday so I can take Friday off! YAY!!!!!!! Happy new year to the HIVE, and I will be back in the office on Tuesday! YAY!!!!

      • I’d just say something upbeat like, “Oh, I have a lot to finish up before the end of the year. I’m really enjoying New Job though, and I’m getting some great opportunities with other people out this week.” I don’t think people will notice/care that much if you put a positive spin on it.

        • This. Nobody is going to notice or care, you’re thinking way too much about this, Linda from HR.

      • I love working this week because it is so quiet. I just say I am taking advantage of the quiet to be heads-down focused and wrap up a bunch of stuff before the New Year.

    • I am not working but still reading/commenting :)

  4. Anyone else working today? Company gave us Xmas and yesterday off, and I think every other person on my projects took this week off too, so I’m everyone’s backup. So far it’s pretty quiet, but I wish I was on vacation!

    • Jinx :). Working half days Tuesday-Thursday and full day Friday, though we’ll probably get sent home at 3. And I have one of the lightest schedules in my work group. I need to get out of this industry.

    • Marshmallow :

      I’m working but I keep getting out of office responses from clients/vendors, so it’s a very quiet week.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I’m here and the slow comment section means I’m getting a lot more work done!

    • Senior Attorney :

      I’m working today through the end of the week. This place is practically deserted but my department is really busy with people wanting to get their matters cleared up before the end of the year.

    • Boston Legal Eagle :

      I’m working today and tomorrow! It’s kind of nice to have some peace and quiet here – there are only a few of us in the office today. Luckily, kiddo’s daycare is open the rest of the week. It’s hard entertaining a toddler for 4+ days… especially when it’s freezing outside.

    • Have a few deadlines coming up but half the people in the office are out so quietly working at about 75% of my usual productivity.

    • I’m in a client services-type role, so I’m working on an as-needed basis this week. Truly thought that would mean no working at all this week because I was able to get all of my must-close-this-year deals done before xmas, but, because of course, a client got a new deal under contract on 12/24. That means I have to work (albeit not a normal 60 hr week) to make it seem like I’m pushing things forward this week, although there’s no one on the receiving end to actually advance the closing. A lot of window dressing, but I can do it from my couch, thankfully.

    • biglawanon :

      Yeah, I am completely slammed. I took off Christmas day, and it is looking like 10-15 hour days at least through Saturday. :/

  5. I know there was a thread a few weeks ago about coffee makers but I’m having trouble finding it… looking to upgrade my Keurig to something with more bells and whistles. Any suggestions? The Ninja Coffee Bar seems pretty neat.

    • CoffeeTime :

      I upgraded from a Keurig to the Ninja’s highest model and love it. My husband loves his coffee stronger than the K cups could offer and I enjoy the specialty “fun” coffees that didn’t work as well with it either, so the Ninja has been great to both of us. The coffee itself is definitely better and I’ve experimented with more specialty coffees than I can count that have all turned out great. We’re very pleased with it. Also, we were able to combine a sale at Bed, Bath and Beyond with their ubiquitous 20% off coupons and got it for about $100 off the normal price.

    • Andddddddddddddddd I just ordered one of those. Thanks :-) (different anonymous, still desperately in need of coffee)

    • Senior Attorney :

      Delonghi Magnifica!

  6. Airbnb nightmare :

    For those of you who are on the blog this week . . . In the midst of an Airbnb nightmare. Owner is threatening that if I review him, he will review me negatively. I did nothing wrong (really) and have before and after photos to prove it. He is horrible and shouldn’t be allowed to host, but has about 30 positive reviews so I know Airbnb isn’t going to do anything. What do I do? Just not review him? I’m afraid he’ll review me at the last second and I won’t be able to respond.

    • Do you have any/many reviews as a guest yet? If he says anything factually incorrect does Airbnb let you contest it or anything?

      I once left an Airbnb after one night even though we’d paid for 3, because it was disgusting. But my friend had booked it and she left a mediocre review because the guy gave us like 25% of our money back rather than fight with it.

    • What exactly is the problem? Was the place a mess when you got there and he’s blaming you?

      Do you have the communication back-and-forth documented or was it all verbal?

      • Airbnb nightmare :

        We wanted to use the pool and confirmed there was no extra charge to have it heated for the days we wanted. Then we booked. We tried to reconfirm that the heater was on a few days before arrival and there was no extra charge and he didn’t respond. When we arrived, he wanted more money to turn the heater on and said we didn’t have proof of the discussions before. I sent him screen shots, he didn’t respond. We gave up and just didn’t use the (very cold) pool.
        When I texted that we left the keys on the table as instructed he responded with threats about leaving me a negative review if I review him.
        We literally booked that house because there was no extra charge for the pool heater, because one up the street wanted $250/week for it but had chalked it up to his just not being honest. But his correspondence has been so nasty since we left that I’m concerned no one will rent to me again if he does leave a review.

        • Anonymous :

          I would leave a review but only include the facts. “House was as described and clean. Location description is accurate. We were told that there would be no extra charge to heat the pool during our stay. This turned out not to be true.”

          Or something like that.

    • How is this a nightmare? The roof didn’t cave in over your head, did it? You can preempt his negative review with your own, saying that he’s threatening/rude/etc. The risks are higher for him than for you.

      • Airbnb nightmare :

        Good point — I guess it’s much more a nasty host than an Airbnb nightmare overall because the house could’ve been much worse. Thank you!

      • Airbnb nightmare :

        My reply seems to have disappeared, but good point. The house could’ve been much worse — the problem is really a jerk host.

      • anonforthis :

        Yeah, this.

        I don’t know if you’ll get far with airbnb is getting a discount/partial refund. I had a terrible experience with their customer service. We booked a condo for our honeymoon ($3k+) that had a legit roach infestation (dozens and dozens crawling around). Immediately called, was told I need to file a claim, and had to leave and check in to a hotel. I took photos, videos, etc., submitted all of this with a detailed letter of insane interactions with the host to airbnb and got no refund and a $100 coupon to use for a future booking. I was absolutely furious, particularly that they sided with a host who reviewed me and accused me of bringing the roaches with me and planting them!!!

        To complete my story, I was hesitant to take it further than the normal customer service route with airbnb because they are one of my clients. But I took it up with my credit card company (AmEx) and they credited me the amount in full. But I don’t think that is going to happen for a cold pool.

        • Airbnb nightmare :

          Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry that happened period, but especially on your honeymoon!

    • Linda from HR :

      (not an Airbnb user)

      Could you report him to Airbnb for being a jerk and threatening you? Could they take action against him and block him from reviewing you?

      • I would not review him, and send copies of all communications to AirBnb. Sounds like you have all the screenshots and/or emails to show for. These days, I think Airbnb is less likely to mess around, particularly if you have evidence.

        Still, in the grand scheme of things, sounds like the actual issue at the house was relatively minor. I think Airbnb may be more interested in the threat of negative reviews – don’t these sharing economy companies rely on honest reviews? Threatening someone who might leave a negative one seems very counter-cultural to what they’re trying to do, and might be the issue that actually catches their attention.

    • Just review him. And contact Airbnb. 30 reviews is not very many, and I have no idea why you think that would keep Airbnb from taking your side. It sounds like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill here.

      • +1. Unless you retaliated by trashing the place or otherwise violating some pre-established rule for that location, I think you review honestly (but not harshly – I would stick to the heater incident only and not his jerky after-emails) and Airbnb should back you up. Especially since you have the correspondence as proof.

    • I don’t agree with the other posters that you are making a big deal out of the problem. Yes, something worse could have happened but that doesn’t mean what happened isn’t something to be upset over.

      I would send Airbnb an email with all the screenshots/proof you have. As a renter, I would be appreciative of an honest review and would definitely want to know what a jerk this person can be. Check with Airbnb whether his negative review of you can be taken down based on his threats…From what I recall, you can’t see the other persons review until you post one so he has no way of knowing what you said until he leaves you a review as well.

      • I don’t think he can see your review prior to posting his or something like that (i think it designed that way exactly for this type of situation). I would also work with Airbnb directly.

        • 100% this. Airbnb sets it up so that neither party can see the other’s review in advance to prevent this exact type of scenario. Threatening you in writing to keep you from posting a negative review is a violation of the terms of service for hosts. Also, 30 reviews is nothing in their world. I just stayed somewhere with 139 4 or 5 star reviews. I would suggest leaving a completely factual review mentioning the pool and sending your written correspondence to Airbnb.

    • AlexisFaye :

      Totally review him.

      And contact AirBnB about it. I got half my money back on a month long stay in Mexico City. The guy was awful. I’ve never *never* had anyone not take me as a guest because of him. And all my other reviews are good.

      And you deserve to get what you pay for. This isn’t like red sheets versus blue sheets. This was a huge part of WHY YOU BOOKED WITH HIM. Stand up for yourself, expect to have your stated needs met. Unstated needs going unmet is on you.

    • Puddlejumper :

      Also it sounds like you might be in a relationship? You keep saying we? If thats the case you review him – if it goes down badly then have your partner book future airbnbs. My husbsand is always our “risky” airbnb booker ie when we want to book a house for 14 friends and there is always that chance it might not be left as perfect. I however use my airbnb account for when we will be 100% perfect guests.

      • Airbnb nightmare :

        THAT IS GENIUS! Thank you — yup, husband could be the booker in the future if he does leave an (untrue!) negative review.

  7. any New Yorkers who practice yoga a lot? I’m a recent transplant from DC, where many of the studios frequently offered short workshop like classes. Think 2 hours to concentrate on one thing or one theme (“how to master jump-backs” or inversions) or something like that. I’ve tried a bunch of studios here and have perused many many schedules but am not seeing similar offerings.

    • pure yoga east/west has tons of workshops/specialty classes

    • Anonymous :

      My studio seems to be just classes with the occasional workshop so I’m not much help but welcome to the NY yoga community :)

    • Anonymous :

      Lots of studios do this, though maybe not this time of year. Maybe try Sacred Sounds or the Shala? A lot of studios here have Jivamukti teachers who are very hands-on and will coach/adjust you during class, so a nice chat with the instructor before class may get you what you want without needing a workshop to learn it. I like Jivamukti, though some of the teachers (and students) are real nutters. All that adjusting really helps you learn those tricky poses, though.

  8. boot(ie) help ! I got the blondo valli recently from a recommendation here and while i loved the fit/comfort/style, the coating on the heel block peeled off within a month, exposing the white plastic. nordstrom graciously took it back, but now I’m trying to find something with a similar style/dark gray suede preferably, with a similar level of comfort and price point (I”ll go up to 250 though because I really need walkable booties). any suggestions appreciated!

    • I’m currently wearing a pair of Franco Sarto “Garfield”s. Mine are black suede but Zappos has them in two colors that look like they might be grey or grey-ish, under $100. (Comfort: no padding but I’ve done walks of a mile+ in them at a time with no discomfort. They do seem to be sized for wearing with tights/trouser socks, so might be too narrow if you prefer fluffy socks. I have wide-width feet so couldn’t go “up” a width to see if inserts were an option)

      • Second. I have these and have worn them a ton to walk in. Very comfortable. I think they look decent with skirts too.

    • Look at Franco Sarto “Garfield”. longer reply including a recommend for vendor and pricing apparently in moderation.

  9. PSA: You can get the Sorel Joan of Arctic from their website in limited sizes for 50% off (so ~$75 with shipping) with coupon code SORJOA50. Will post link separately to avoid mod.

    • https://www.sorel.com/womens-joan-of-arctic-boot-1708791_S.html?mid=affiliate&eid=cj&uid=10730202&nid=2178999&utm_medium=affiliate

    • I put them in my cart and went to check out and they became out of stock. WAHHHH. Just last night I was thinking about buying a pair.

  10. I am in mod. Go to the Sorel web s i t e and search item number 1708791.

  11. Property taxes :

    Can anyone help me understand why I may want to pre-pay property taxes? I’m in DC, single filer. I’m confused about how and why to do it and how to get Wells Fargo to acknowledge it so that I would not have to pay again through escrow.

    • Under the new tax law that was just signed, the deduction on your income taxes for property tax will be limited in 2018 and beyond. So for people whose state/local taxes are more than the $10,000 limit, or people who likely will itemize in 2017 but won’t be able to in 2018, it makes sense to pay them now and get the deduction benefits.

      You may be able to pay online through your county assessor’s website, though in my county you have to go in person because 2018 isn’t available online yet. You’ll have to talk to Wells Fargo, as your mortgage probably requires they collect taxes as part of escrow and they won’t reduce it because you prepaid (though you’d get a refund of your escrow overage at the end of 2018).

    • Because the amount you’ll be able to deduct from your federal taxes for state and local taxes is changing after this year.

      • Also, I’m guessing that somewhere out there on the internet, somebody has done the calculations about how much income/property taxes you’d have to have to make pre-paying this year worth it. Try searching around.

        • Anonymous :

          +1 to searching for a mathematical breakdown of what this actually saves you. My gut feeling is that the vast majority of people getting all excited about this tax planning “strategy” would be far better off having that money in the bank (earning some interest, yes, but more just having it available in the event of a large unplanned expense).

    • Also, if you hit AMT in 2017, it’s not relevant since property taxes come out when calculating AMT.

  12. Still looking for gift ideas :

    I need recommendations for my SILs birthday in early January. She likes to cook in her instant pot and try new foods, hikes. I am totally stumped on ideas for her birthday present. Budget is around $100. Would specially appreciate recommendations on time-hack food prep gadgets

    Also happens to be my nephews birthday- What does a 3 year old boy like? He has a number of car type toys and loves garbage trucks.

    Both live in Vancouver FWIW

    Luckily, I didn’t have to give any gifts over the holiday seasons and can take advantage of these sales

    • Anonymous :

      What abot a sous vide machine?

      • I was set on that but saw some bad reviews right before purchasing. Can someone who has one please tell me about their experience?

        • Which one were you looking at? I think the Anova and Joule are pretty well tested by now. I don’t have one (yet) but I follow r/sousvide on reddit and the food people make looks pretty great.

        • We have an early model Sansaire and are happy with it. That said, sous vide has its upside – holding foods at a steady temp, keeping things off the stovetop (great for holidays), imbuing with flavor (sous vide potatoes with butter + herbs & hit with immersion blender = yum) – and its downside – need time to bring the water bath up to temp, need a Foodsealer or similar to put the foods into (ziplocs have issues), need a large enough bag for certain things, can’t adjust levels of doneness if you go past.

          • Anonymous :

            FWIW, we’ve used ours quite a bit and have never had an issue using Ziploc freezer bags. Maybe after another year of consistent use we’d consider getting a food sealer to save on buying bags, but it’s definitely not a requirement to cook sous vide.

            We have a Joule and it works great! I love that you can start it with the app, so I can put the circulator in a pot of water the night before and then start the water from upstairs in the morning for my eggs. Saves me the minor effort of bundling up to go down to the freezing cold kitchen in the winter if I’m headed right back upstairs to shower.

        • Anonymous :

          I was gifted one when I did not want it (and i LOVE to cook) and i’ve used it once. A nice Santoku knife is around $100 and would be more welcome…

    • Books for the kid!

      • Anonymous :

        We are partial in our house to the “Little Blue Truck” series, which are just about the right speed for a 3 year old. There is a holiday one that lights up, as well as plenty that are not holiday-themed.

      • Minnie Beebe :

        3 yrs old is perfect for “The Book with No Pictures.” Also Duplo Legos.

    • Bottle of wine + gift certificate to a nice restaurant. I would steer clear of kitchen gadgets unless you know an exact one she wants.

      • This or gift certificate to a great local source for kitchen gadgets (here in Atlanta we have Cook’s Warehouse, which apparently Alton Brown loves, that sort of thing)

    • Anonymous :

      Food Saver which is currently on sale on Amazon. I love mine!

  13. Baconpancakes :

    TJ 2 of the day – coziest pjs? I’m looking for a late Christmas gift for a sporty friend who likes simple and values comfort over all else.

    • Anonymous :

      My favs are the fluid-knit Gillian O’Malley’s from Target. Super soft. Relatively durable (though they do start to pill after a few dozen washings). I have the two piece version in black, navy and gray, which are about as simple as it gets.

    • Soma Cool Nights separates. I love the basic black pants (which come in tall!) and the lace-trimmed sleep cami, which has some support for the girls. ;)

    • Minnie Beebe :

      For Christmas, I received (exactly what I asked for!) a Third Love Organic Cotton Jogger Set. I think they are very comfortable so far!

  14. PSA – The Elsa Ottoman dress from Boden is on sale for $57, usually $130. It’s been highly recommended on here and I have the Maggie Ottoman (similar) which I LOVE.
    I bought it last week at $87 so asked for a price match today, they only give it in Boden credit not a refund. I’ll probably use it up though if I had proceeded with the alternative (return at free shipping and re-order at free shipping) I would have gotten a full refund.
    Now my only question is whether to buy the pink (I already bought the teal).

    • I bought two of the Honor dress yesterday. I already had it in one color and absolutely love it. I’m glad to have it in two more.

  15. Anonymous :

    Argh, someone stop me from shopping! I didn’t exactly get any presents I loved for xmas (DH got me some kitchen stuff – which was fine, but not exactly what I wanted and hardly exciting… all while ignoring all of my suggestions for jewelry or fun things that would be just for me and which I was less likely to buy for myself/for the home). Nordstrom is just speaking my language today…

    • If you’re serious about being talked out of it, then you might try reading this: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/15/opinion/sunday/shopping-consumerism.html

      • Anonymous :

        Not actually that serious – more like, annoyed that as a woman it’s ok to get me kitchen supplies as a xmas present, but my H gets things like a playstation and golf clubs. But I love a good NY Times article and it’s probably better to spend time reading that than looking at another cardigan.

        • I totally understand where you’re coming from.

        • Baconpancakes :

          Yeah, I totally get that. I got a compost bin for Hannukah. I wanted to get a compost bin, but I didn’t want it _for me._

          • This. My in-laws broke the toaster (which only they use) and then offered to buy a new one for me for my birthday. Nope. Y’all can buy a toaster to keep here for your regular visits, but do not try to call it a “present”.

        • I hear you, sister.

          I buy all the gifts in my family… for extended family as well. And I get almost nothing. The exception is — My niece made me an adorable sock stuffed animal which I loved. The only other gift was a couple of tea cups shaped like hippos…. i kid you not. From SIL. That’s it.

          The way I deal with it is I started choosing my own Xmas presents. I start planning them months before the holidays, wait for the sales so I feel less guilty. Buy them, wrap or keep in boxes until Xmas, and then open them when I am alone to enjoy them.

          But I think next year, I am stopping with gifts for anyone except myself and my niece. And even my niece’s gifts will drop to one gift. She hasn’t said “thank you” for many years. Obviously, she learns from the rest of my family…. (!)

          • Anonymous :

            So true… gifts used to be my love language but I’m tired. My entire family (parents/sister) have never gotten me anything thoughtful that’s actually useful (my sister got me a thoughtful necklace once, but it hit at a spot that made my already fat neck look fatter). the last time my parents got me a gift, it was an oversized sleep shirt from the disney store that was uncomfortable to sleep in (half of it was thick fabric paint) and 2 sizes too big. I mean, I get that anything above a size 2 is apparently too difficult to gauge and buy for, but seriously?!

            The thing that kills me is my sister thinks of thoughtful fun presents for all her friends from college, but never for me.

            I’m also the joule recipient from above. This year, SO gifted me a camera, but not for xmas, for “it’s time to upgrade your camera before we go to Iceland”.

            It’s nice that I don’t “need” for anything in real life, but golly, I wish someone would be thoughtful to gift me something inexpensive but fun.

            …and I don’t even have children yet.

          • S in Chicago :

            Same here! I can’t even tell you how much I’ve spent on hockey tickets for males in my family but asking for shoes is apparently not appropriate for my list as “you already have so many shoes.” (I just ordered three pairs of boots on sale for myself today, so Ha!)

            Just a tip if you haven’t tried, but I’ve bought necklace extenders in different metals. Gives way more options on length—sometimes just an inch extra can make all the difference in how flattering.

    • DH and I make amazon wish lists for ourselves and or kids. We get a nice mix of things off the list + most items (some are useful and some are…not). Especially for DH this has worked well, as everyone knows he’s picky about his tools but nobody knows what to get him.

      • Anonymous :

        Yeah, that’s what is so frustrating about this year. We have an agreement around the holidays to send each other “dear santa” emails with links to items that look interesting to us. I did that with several things (a pair of bean boots, a ring with my LO’s birthstone, and a scarf). And I got a baking pan and a set of wine glasses to replace ones my H broke in November. I didn’t expect to get all of what I suggested, but at least one thing just for me would have been sweet.

  16. To dye or not to dye? My hair.

    I will be interviewing soon for jobs, after being out of the work force for awhile. I am in my 40’s, and there is a lot of grey mixed in with my brown haired pixie. Like… a lot of grey. While I have dyed in the past (in my 30’s), I stopped in my 40’s because of the expense and my hair grows so fast that I would really need touch ups every 3-4 weeks. And honestly, I was ok with how I looked, and dress well and dying just felt so … unnecessary.

    But this is the first time I have been interviewing for about 10 years, and I am a bit worried. Most of my interviewers will be men, if it matters. I will be competing with quite a few folks younger than me. My CV is solid.


    Even if I did dye…. for the interview…. I feel like I would not want to continue dying long term. So would that be a totally wacky thing if over a few months I let all that grey grow out, or is there a way to do it more gradually….

    What would you do?

    • No question in my mind that I would color through the interview and hiring process. Afterwards, you do you.

      • This is a great situation for semi-permanent hair color. If you go for a lighter brown/dark blonde, it will cling to the grays and seem more like highlights. It should last for 6 weeks or so, but don’t be surprised if it lingers. Since you already rock a pixie, any color that stubbornly clings should be cut out over the next few months.

        I’d grab some old school Nice-N-Easy (again–pick a shade lighter than your normal brown!) and go for it.

    • Honestly, I’d color it for interviews even if you go back to your natural hair after that unless you otherwise look extremely polished & on-trend. I think it just adds a battle you don’t need to fight about whether you’re up to date in your field if you look like you’ve been working for too long. Do I think this is right or fair? No. But I think it can be an issue and if you’re trying to get back into the workforce, why add an extra hurdle if you can afford not to.

      • Flats Only :

        This. And especially if you’re wearing your hair in a pixie cut and don’t look 25 anymore. At short lengths grey hair can read as “old lady” hair vs. sharp and stylish.

    • Retracting present idea request :

      I posted asking for gift ideas for SIL above and after reading this post I think I am going to skip out on a present and give her an activity based gift card instead.

      I am also feeling particularly guilty about consumerism and the mess our planet is in


  17. Le Pliage Neo :

    I’d asked for a Le Pliage tote for Christmas with plans to use it as my diaper bag (no need to talk me in/out of this, I’m on Kid 3 and I know what will work for us :-)). I suggested a neutral color.

    I got the new one, the Neo, in gold. Link to follow.

    I can’t tell if I’m just too boring to like it, or if ya ugly (in the grand scheme of Le Pliage totes). Thoughts? Cute and fun color/material and I can rock it as my Kid Crap Carryalong bag or should I swap it for a black or navy with the traditional leather?

    DH tends to have better fashion sense than I do, and he thought it was more fun.

    • Le Pliage Neo :

      The bag: https://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/longchamp-large-le-pliage-neo-nylon-tote/3767054

      • Anonymous :

        I don’t think it’s ugly. I would worry about it looking dirty quickly. My kid is messy. He probably gets it from me.

    • I vote swap it — that material looks like it would show every scrape and scuff immediately thanks to the sheet.

    • Anonymous :

      I like it. It’s fun and also would go with everything.

    • I like it but I’d be worried it would get dirty easily so I would probably swap it for something darker.

    • Anon in NYC :

      Personally, I prefer the navy. But maybe I’m super boring too? Of the three colors, I like the gold the least because it reads more as khaki on the computer screen (I’d also worry that it would skew more yellow than I’d like). Although, I do like the handles, which actually seem like fun shiny gold. And, I’d worry about it showing dirt, especially if this is your kid bag.

      • What about the navy neo vs regular navy? Navy neo looks like…luggage?

        The gold in person doesn’t look like khaki, it’s a fun sparkly color.

        I worried about dirt too, which is why I suggested black/navy. DH said “live a little, it looks like it’s washable.” ;).

        • Your husband is right!

        • Anon in NYC :

          I like the navy neo — I don’t think it looks any more like luggage than the black neo, or the regular navy with the brown. But, if you like the color, go for it! It could be a fun change.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I love it!

      But then again I’m the only one above who admits to still wearing bright colors…

    • Anonymous :

      I like the gold :)

    • I was expecting something a lot more metallic than that. That’s fine. Definitely neutral.

    • gold!

      I’ve had similar material/colour handbags in the past and they really don’t get dirty looking

    • Late reply – but you NEEEEED the “new navy.” It’s fabulous!

  18. Anon for this :

    So, I normally live in the EU, but came to a country outside the block for the holidays that is a bit to the East. Each time I try to log on, without fail, the site wants me to prove that I am not a robot “because they had problems with my IP location.” I am in the same house using the same machine with the same IP address each time. It feels… ugly? “Oh, for sure people from Country X are spammers!” Okay…

    • Germany here, and I get that page along with required Captcha challenges. Every. Single. Time.

  19. I like your all accessories. I believe, accessories play a vital role with dresses to give a stunning look. Happy New Year in advance.

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