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When Do Girly Clothes Become Unprofessional?

05/23/2013 By 108 Comments

dressing-too-girlyIf you wear girly clothes, will you be seen as less of a professional? Reader A wonders…

I recently parted ways with a company where I was being micromanaged, like my boss didn’t trust me to do anything without his help and supervision. He never said why, but he kept treating me like some incompetent child. At the same time, I’m really into mid-century fashion, and I would wear really girly things that wouldn’t really been seen in most traditional offices – polka dots, shades of pink, lacy headbands, and even bows. I knew it was unorthodox and I may get some weird looks, but in hindsight I’m wondering if my clothing made my manager see me as a little girl, and maybe that’s why he wasn’t taking me seriously as a young professional. Do you think there was any connection between my fashion choices and my boss’s micromanagement?

Yowza. Ok. We’ve talked before about being feminine, as well as wearing vintage to the office, but we haven’t really discussed how going Extremely Girly affects how colleagues perceive you.  I do think  A few thoughts:

  • In general, wearing the occasional girly item is OK.  For example, something pink or polka-dotted will not make you seem like less of a professional, particularly if you otherwise act like a grown-up. Similarly, a bow here or there is fine, provided you don’t look like a present waiting to be unwrapped.  Personally I’m not a huge fan of headbands, but I think that sedate ones (solid ones, if not ones that match your hair color) are occasionally OK at work.
  • That said, it’s a bad idea to wear very girly things exclusively — Elle Woods was comical because she wore pink ALL THE TIME.  [Read more...]
Filed Under: Being Girly, Business Etiquette, Career, Office Culture, Professionalism, Success

How to Step Up Your Working Wardrobe

05/16/2013 By 57 Comments

How do you step up your wardrobe when you want to be considered for a promotion or raise? Reader U wonders for her business casual office…

I work at a company where there are no strict guidelines to what we should wear. Most days, we are fine wearing casual to business casual. Even with my position as a forecasting specialist, i am not requested to wear something more formal. Jeans with a formal top or a dress are my go-to when we are requested to wear something more presentable. However, I am applying for a supervisory position and have start wearing more formal clothes, specially because I need to be at my best. What is the most appropriate clothing that I could look presentable enough but won’t look like I’m trying hard to impress people? Slacks don’t really fit me well – tiny gal with longer torso. Thanks!

We’ve talked about how to look professional in a laid-back office, how to transition your wardrobe from a very conservative workplace to a more casual office,  as well as how to look professional without being overdressed, but we haven’t talked, directly, about how to step up your wardrobe when you want to be seen as more managerial.  I’m particularly interested to hear what the readers say here.  For my own $.02, this is how I would approach it: [Read more...]

Filed Under: Being a Boss, Budget Fashion, Business Casual, Job Hunting, Professionalism, Success, Suits, Wear to Work

What To Do When Your Boss Has It Out For You

05/09/2013 By 80 Comments

what to do when your boss hates you.indexedHow can you avoid getting fired when your boss has it out for you? In general, how can you deal with horrible bosses? Reader M has a good question:

I know you’ve covered things like workplace etiquette and tips on dealing with co-workers, but do you have any suggestions on how to deal with horrible bosses? A friend of mine has been having issues with a boss (male, if that matters) who has been bullying her recently through means of intimidation, threatening her position in the workplace, and embarrassing her in front of clients. With a downward spiraling economy and many people being laid off, what is the best approach to dealing with someone who is looking for a reason to fire you?

Ouch. I’m sorry for your friend, M! Vivia Chen at The Careerist just covered what to do when you’re getting fired, so this seems timely to me.  Everyone has a lousy manager at some point in their life, some of whom actually hate you.  I once clashed so badly with a superior that she actually threw a redweld at my head (yep, Professional was her middle name); I’ve fortunately blocked out most things about that time in my life beyond the fact that I woke up, every day, to Whitney Houston’s song, “It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay.“  You will get out.  Here are some tips for the friend with the bad boss:
[Read more...]

Filed Under: Professionalism, Transitions, Work Styles

How to Promote Your Friends Professionally

05/02/2013 By 25 Comments

how-to-promote-friendsHow can you promote your friends and colleagues in a positive way? Considering all the talk from Lean In about how women should be more supportive of each other in the office, I thought this was a great question from Reader E:

I am an intern (waiting on bar results) at a small law firm. A branch office of my firm is hiring a new attorney for that office, and my supervisor asked me If I knew anyone who was looking. I suggested my friend A., who submitted a resume. Today I found out that the attorney in the branch office wants to interview A. This attorney also wants to talk to me, “candidly,” about A. I am confident in my friend’s ability, but I know this office has had a friend of a current attorney not work out. What can I say to promote my friend and what topics or traits should I avoid?

I actually think there is some etiquette involved when it comes to promoting friends and colleagues, talking up their accomplishments, and even helping them network. Here are some pointers, but I’m curious to hear what else the readers say:

- When suggesting your friend for a specific job: Ask A (let’s say her name is Allison) for a copy of her resume, and what she thinks her top three selling points are. I would then either a) write a short email attaching the resume, or b) swing by the hiring partner’s office, hand-delivering a copy of the resume, to say basically, “My friend Allison just applied for Position Y, but I wanted to bring you her resume myself. Allison is a good friend from law school; we worked together on law review and she won the moot trial competition. I think she’d be a great addition to the firm.  Please let me know if I can answer any other questions.” Note a few things about this: [Read more...]

Filed Under: Business Etiquette, Career, Interviewing, Job Hunting, Networking, Professionalism

Statement Pieces and the Intern

04/16/2013 By 85 Comments

statement pieces for internsWhen can interns wear statement pieces like necklaces or shoes?  Reader C, a law student, wonders….

I am a current law student preparing for a summer internship. I’ve been reading through a lot of your old posts trying to get a gauge on appropriate office wear. My question is about shoes.

I’m wondering how far is too far with statement shoes. If I am wearing a more muted outfit, is it okay to have a more colorful pair of shoes? For instance, I was considering a pair of shoes like these from Loft.

Would those be considered too bold for an office?

Interesting question. We get into this time and time again, but I’m always curious to see what the readers have to say. For my own $.02: Those are not first day shoes. Those are not big meeting shoes, or networking shoes. But: they could be office shoes. As in, you’re having a low key day, you’re not seeing anyone important, and you just want to mix it up a little bit. To be honest, if you’re interning at a BigLaw firm, there probably are not going to be very many of those days. So this becomes an issue of budget: if you have the money to spend for shoes that you may way a few times during the summer, then knock yourself out.  (There are very limited sizes left at Loft, but they are crazy affordable with today’s 40% off sale — they were $79.50, then marked to $69.50, with the extra 40% off they come to $41.99.  Petra Multicolored Floral Print Pumps)

(Update: If you really like the floral look, these very similar Ivanka Trump pumps are on sale at Nordstrom for $99.)

Just to back up a little bit — why, you may be asking, should the intern not wear these shoes to meetings and networking events?  [Read more...]

Filed Under: Basics, Internships/Summer Jobs, Interviewing, Just Starting Out, Professionalism, Shoes, Style, Wear to Work

How to Do the Work You’re Not Ready For

03/14/2013 By 45 Comments

how-to-do-work-youre-not-ready-forWhat do you do when your boss gives you work that is beyond your skill level? Reader C asks a great question…

How do you handle a situation when you’re asked to do a task you’re definitely not ready for? I am a newly admitted lawyer in my first job out of law school and I have been doing mostly doc review for 6 months, only within the past 2 weeks have I started doing substantive legal work. My boss asked me to cover a meeting he could not attend. The purpose of which was to allow non-lawyers within the agency to play “ask the lawyer” (me) about general legal questions accumulated over the past month. I am unfamiliar with the legal material and do not have time to prepare. I told my boss I didn’t feel I could competently answer the questions in the allotted time and asked if we could reschedule. Did this make me seem incapable, weak, etc.?

This seems timely, especially since I just read an article with Marissa Mayer where she noted that she never felt ready for any of the work that she did. From the article:

“I always did something I was a little not ready to do,” she said last year while speaking on her best decisions in a talk with NPR Correspondent Laura Sydell. “That feeling at the end of the day, where you’re like, ‘what have I gotten myself into?’ I realized that sometimes when you have that feeling and you push through it, something really great happens.”

So how do you do the work you’re not ready for?  How do you figure it out without screwing up?  I hope that this can be a great thread where we share stories and advice for one another.  Here are some tips, both for Reader C and for other women in this situation.  (And let me just say, I totally get why Reader C was hesitant about this meeting — it sounds like a minefield.)  That said… [Read more...]

Filed Under: Career, Intense Work Period, Professionalism, Success, Transitions, Work Styles