This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I love a slightly too long sweater sleeve. It looks great peeking out from under a blazer! It keeps your fingers cozy! Hmmn… it possibly reminds me of Clare Danes in My So-Called Life. Still, I'm sure that was a big, shruggy sweater and not at all a sleek, polished sweater like this one from Vince. This one is on a pretty great sale, too, particularly for cashmere: it was $245, but is now marked to $125, in sizes XS-L, at OFF5TH. Mixed Rib-knit Cashmere Sweater Psst: Did you know we're trying out an earlier time for this very post? They've been going live at 7:30 am ET for a week or so now… This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.See More Recent Picks from Corporette®:
Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Avis
I like this sweater but I think it looks more like stylish long johns than real clothes.
Anonymous
I don’t like it — you can see the outline of the pants and how the fly area sticks out. I don’t like for sweaters this long to be this clingy.
givemyregards
I agree – it looks like someone shrank it in the dryer and then try to stretch it back out.
MagicUnicorn
At least we don’t have to wonder whether it is see-through or not.
Diana Barry
Bahahaha!
Housecounsel
That is not a sweater. That is long underwear.
SFAttorney
Agreed. No thank you.
Anonymous
I have this sweater in black, and it’s one of my favorites. This model is wearing it in a size too small and it looks stretched down. My sweater is not at all see through and looks nice with a little half front tuck into work pants. I also machine wash/lay flat to dry.
Ellen
Not only that, but it is too sheer for me. I think the model’s boobie tips are showing. FOOEY! When I wear cashemere sweaters, I always wear a cami, even if it is not cold inside b/c who needs for men to just stare at our boobies. DOUBEL FOOEY on them!
Anon
A big part of my job is booking speakers for conferences. I want the conferences to be as ethnically diverse as possible but I’m struggling to find good lists of diverse, brand-side speakers. (We typically have a good gender mix.) Does anyone know of some good resources out there?
IHHtown
Yeah, no one can give you any help if you don’t provide the topic of the conference. Is your question “how to find diverse people”? Because if so, lol you don’t – can I remind you of the “binders full of women”? You get a list of on topic good speakers then select from there a diverse group that is likely to most engage the conference attendees.
Anon
You know what Mitt Romney actually meant by that and what he actually did, right?
Actually, don’t answer that. The ignorance would be depressing.
sss
I know, it kills me that he got panned for that by so many of the same people who would actually support his policy.
Anon
Me too!
anon
oh calm down. please don’t add this to your file of “persecution of conservatives.” you don’t have to be a tool for no reason, you know.
Anon
Don’t insult me because I am correct. If you feel the need to do that, engage in self-reflection.
IHHtown
It’s the optics of it that got him panned, and so would be the case of these speakers – it implies you’re finding diverse candidates whose only quality is being diverse as opposed to finding qualified candidates who are diverse – it’s an insulting implication to the diverse candidates. It’s a perspective nuance that I don’t think a lot of people understand.
Personally I’d be incredibly offended if someone interviewed me only because I’m a woman POC when my resume speaks for itself. Preferencing diverse qualified candidates for anything, even speaking gigs, in order to serve a greater cause of inclusivity and making conference attendees feel included and welcome in X field is one thing, but seeking “diverse people” as the only thing they are good for is insulting and implies they are not qualified otherwise.
sss
Um, no. He was saying he had binders of resumes from women from which he picked people to interview. It has nothing to do with interviewing people simply because they’re women.
Anonshmanon
I am a woman in STEM and have organized panels and thought about this from both sides. I have decided that I don’t agree, for two reasons.
The issue of intentionally coming up with diverse speakers: it’s been shown that human brains are just not very good at acknowledging diverse viewpoints on their own – if we think of ‘who might I invite that can give an expert presentation on this topic?’ many brains will come up with a white man, because that is still the stereotype expert. (The book Thinking Fast and Slow is basically about this). I know that diverse viewpoints are my personal preference and also desired for my panel, since they will likely give listeners better insights. So, my unconscious brain is taking lazy shortcuts (suggesting men), but my conscious brain can say ‘no, let’s see whether we can find more suitable speakers’. In my experience, when I keep thinking beyond the first couple of names that come to mind, I can easily come up with more diverse speakers.
To me, it’s similar to asking “what should I have for dinner”. My brain would immediately jump to the easy, unhealthy thing, at which point I can redirect my planning to something that is better aligned with my health goals or budget. In the process, I disregard the first idea that pops into my head (pizzah!) and keep thinking until I have a plan that I like. It’s overcoming the bias of your own brain.
The other side of this is about being given some opportunity _because_ I am from an underrepresented group. I used to think that any opportunities I got should be earned and deserved, and getting something because I am a woman would be lesser. But I’ve recently decided that there is such a strong component of luck involved in my line of work(there is an overabundance of well qualified people for few jobs), that I bloody well won’t dismiss good opportunities when they come my way. Mediocre men which get chosen above well-qualified women are essentially hired because of their gender. I don’t see anyone discussing them being insulted.
PolyD
“Mediocre men which get chosen above well-qualified women are essentially hired because of their gender. I don’t see anyone discussing them being insulted.”
– That is a really, really good point.
That’s right
That is a great point!!!
Anon
OP here. Thank you for the suggestions and discussion! I’ve obviously thought about this issue from a lot of different angles. In all my meetings with my team, I bring up the question of diversity and *literally* every time one of them says, “But we don’t want to put someone on stage just because they are diverse!” And every time, I say, yes obviously that is not what we are doing here. I would never put someone on a stage if they weren’t a fit for the conference. We are digging deeper for these speakers because this is industry-wide problem and cycle that gets perpetuated. Agree 100% that mediocre men get chosen in so many ways above other qualified candidates. I feel like it is my job to address that issue in my small way. I honestly didn’t think about the “binders full of women” thing but yeah… We don’t live in a perfect world but I feel like this is important enough to push past the uncomfortable-ness of compiling a list of non-white speakers.
Anononymous
I agree with all of this.
-Another woman in STEM
Anon
No. The entire quote:
Thank you and important topic. And one which I learned a great deal about, particularly as I was serving as governor of my state. Because I had the chance to pull together a Cabinet, and all of the applicants seemed to be men. And I went to my staff and I said: “How come all of the people for these jobs are all men?” They said: “Well, these are the people that have the qualifications.” And I said: “Well gosh, can’t we find some women that are also qualified?” And we took a concerted effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds that could be qualified to become members of our Cabinet. I went to a number of women’s groups and said: “Can you help us find folks?” And they brought us whole binders full of women.
sss
Yes, exactly. He was totally right. It’s so backwards. Even if you don’t like him, give him credit for this. Just imagine that Obama had said it!
Anon
His Lt. Governor, Kerry Healey, was impressive but not a superstar before Romney endorsed her. Now she’s the first-ever woman President of Babson College.
Beth Lindstrom, another Cabinet member, just finished a strong primary campaign for US Senate.
I wish everyone worked to seek out talented women.
anon
LOL. I really do like Mitt Romney, and his misspeaking here is really unfortunate and I feel bad for the guy. but it is just so funny!
Also, it gave us this: http://bindersfullofwomen.tumblr.com/
anon
It’s actually kind of sad because the idea behind that statement I think was really good. But I did get many good laughs about it!
Brokentoe
Give this company a try – I know the owner and they are really good at what they do…. http://nationallyspeaking.com
Anon
OP here: looking for brand, media, advertising, and tech speakers if that’s helpful.
JTM
There’s a Black advertising organization called The Marcus Graham Project – might be good to reach out to them about speakers. http://marcusgrahamproject.org/
RR
I have one specific recommendation–Simon Tam. He was a party in a US Supreme Court trademark case that was a big deal, but he himself is not a lawyer. He’s in a band and involved in media. His speech literally brought people to tears. He was amazing.
But generally, my recommendation is to look at trade associations and find affinity groups within them. So, when recently needed female IP litigation speakers, I contacted the chair of the ABA Women in IP group (don’t recall the precise name), and she gave us several names of amazing candidates. I’ve had similar conversations with diversity groups, Hispanic lawyers’ groups, etc.
Idea
Women 2.0 is a great organization based in Boston, right in this space. I know the founder/CEO and she’ll definitely connect you to other great speakers (she’s not too shabby herself).
I
Anony
For brand/media, maybe reach out to the owner and author of Muslim Girl – Amani Al-Khatahtbeh.
Anon
I have a specific recommendation. Dr Talithia Williams from Harvey Mudd College, professor of statistics, and frequent contributor to the NOVA television show.
She spoke about her personal journey in achieving a PhD in statistics as a black woman, and then she spoke about the diversity (or lack thereof) in my field, Actuarial Science. She backed everything up with statistics, she was funny and engaging and completely spellbinding as a speaker. And her message struck its target. Every speaker for the rest of the conference referenced things she had said.
I cannot recommend her highly enough.
isabella the she wolf
Anyone from NOVA gets my vote :)
nuqotw
She was a senior grad student when I was at EDGE! She’s awesome! Yes!
anon
If there is any kind of welcoming speech, the which would typically be given by a mayor or head of commerce, consider inviting a leader of the local tribe on whose land you will be gathering. But not just any random tribe!
I’ve only attended environmental conferences, which tribes are more likely to attend, but I don’t see why you couldn’t ask a tribal leader to speak just as easily as any other local leader.
Colette
I actually think twitter is a good resource for this.
I know that there are some lists of non-white men experts on things. The goal is for reporters to use a more diverse set of experts in their stories. Those same names should work for you too.
Also, I think a tweet looking for more diverse speakers could be really helpful.
Anon
Not a specific resource, but perhaps affinity groups in your field, like “Hispanics in IP Law,” “The African-American Engineers Association,” or something like that could help give you a list of leaders/speakers of their respective groups.
Anon
Re; earlier post times.
I went here a bit after 7:30 the other day to see if there was a new post, but there wasn’t, so I figured we were back to 9 am.
anon
Also, the fact that I still get stuck in mod every time, and no one seems to check that queue until after 9:00…
advice for hard of hearing dude in denial
Husband was in a rock band when he was younger. That, plus him being in his 40s means that the volume always goes up to 11 in our house. Which hurts my ears — we can no longer watch TV in the same room (and if he is watching TV anywhere in the house, I can hear it perfectly regardless of where he is and how many closed doors there are between the sound source and me). [He also has starting bluffing (like my dad used to do before he got hearing aids) when he is out in public and smiles and nods when he clearly cannot hear what is being said to him.] He seems to be OK in work situations (where is is often on a phone or e-mailing or there isn’t much background noise and he is looking at the person speaking and focusing).
Have any of you navigated this with a guy in your life (father? spouse?)? He seems to think that this is a problem that my ears are overly sensitive . . . (which they may be — in a quiet house, I can hear the TV fine if the volume is at 3; he often has it in the 50-60 range, but it isn’t problem for me anywhere else in my life but with his very loud volumes at home).
Anon
My husband has the same issue except he’s 33 and wasn’t in a band. I’ve been begging him to go to an audiologist for a year but eh won’t.
Anonymous
Talk to me about audiologists. Do they test hearing or just try to sell hearing aids? Is this something a GP could do? H might be more willing to get tested if his GP did it.
[Also, H sort of knows his hearing is bad, but I don’t think appreciates how bad it is and how disuptive it is to others. LIke maybe if his GP could quantify “you’ve lost 50% of your hearing in one ear and 95% in the other ear,” he would appreciate that just turning up the volume isn’t really the solution.
Anon
My husband agreed to go to a PCP about it. The guy laughed, said “you’re 33, you’re not deaf. We all ignore our wives, amiright?” ?
So that’s why I want him to go an audiologist who will actually test his hearing.
E
Not previous poster but I went to an audiologist for suspected hearing loss when I was 22. They tested my hearing and were just like other doctors, not sales-y at all. I don’t think a GP could do it since there’s a large, specialized machine that does the testing that I’ve never seen at a GP’s office, but it wouldn’t hurt to call your GP and ask.
Anon
I don’t think a GP is going to have the equipment on hand to test hearing. At least none of the GPs I’ve ever seen have.
anon a mouse
He needs a hearing test. Also: closed captioning for the television, or wireless headphones for him.
K
Ask if you can start using closed captioning on the TV, so you can turn down the volume. He might not be able to hear it as well but at least he’ll know what’s going on, and your ears won’t hurt as much.
Gail the Goldfish
For times when he wants to watch tv and you don’t, I recommend getting him wireless headphones. As for everything else, I’m afraid I have no advice. My mom and I have been trying for years to convince my dad he needs a hearing aid for these exact problems and have had no luck.
Anon
I think it’s helpful to talk to him also about the solution not being “he can’t hear so you both get damaged hearing”. Even if you are sensitive, so what, you are which means higher volumes will hurt your ears full stop. He needs to be open to compromise on this, and I often find couching it in terms of “you are actually hurting me” will catch a husband’s attention more than “please turn it down” – a loving husband hates seeing his wife hurt or in pain and that fact will activate his “must solve it now” gene. Basically, use his weakness against him (jokingly but also…yes).
AnonAtty
I had this same thought. At this point, I’d try appealing to his kindness for you. The current situation is hurting you. You need his help solving that problem. Whether he can hear or not in his daily life is his to fix. What he does with the television in your home, though, is harming you.
Anonshmanon
No experience with guys, but my grandma was pretty much in denial about her hearing for five years or so.
She had to hear it from an outsider. I think the audiologist had a sign saying “do TV presenters speak really unclearly? You might need a hearing aid” that convinced her.
waffles
My husband likes watching this you tube channel on obscure electronics. This product was featured on one of his videos and I remember thinking it would be great for my hearing-impaired FIL. It’s basically a small speaker that is paired to the TV and brings the TV audio closer to the viewer (so in theory the TV volume can be lower). Link to follow.
waffles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bn3hKbl9f-
Note it might be available in Europe only…
Anon
One thing you should definitely do is not get mad at him about hearing differently than you. I don’t hear as well as my husband. I have had my hearing tested more than once and this is just my normal. Any loss I have is not profound enough for a hearing aid.
My husband would like the TV quieter than i like it, and music speakers louder. Every time i ask him to turn up the TV because I can’t hear the dialogue, he acts annoyed, and then I have to remind him that hearing differently than he does is not a moral failing on my part.
On the other hand, my husband likes music turned up way louder than I like. The way he experiences music is more immersive than I like it, so I can find his loud Zappa as annoying as he finds my tv volume at 40 (you know those numbers are arbitrary, right? They have no absolute meaning outside of your particular TV)
There is not one correct way of hearing. All I’m saying is be kind to your husband about his requests to turn the TV louder than you would like it. You two hear differently. Yes, ask him to get his hearing checked, but don’t act like he’s a jerk for not hearing the same way you do.
Anonymous
He’s hard of hearing not hearing differently.
Senior Attorney
Sorry, but he’s a jerk if he likes the TV at a level that is painful or can be heard several rooms away, especially when there is such a thing as closed captioning that will address his problem. Lack of empathy is definitely a moral failing.
OP, in addition to the “appeal to kindness” tactic mentioned above, more generally have you approached it as “this is the price you pay for being such a cool rocker in your misspent youth and you should wear it as a badge of honor?”
Anon
+1
He’s not a jerk because he has hearing loss; he’s a jerk because he won’t do anything about it.
Horse Crazy
Check out TV ears – some family friends who are hard of hearing use them to watch TV when other people are around. They can listen to the TV at any volume they want, and the volume outside the ears can be at any level, even muted, and they can still hear it inside the ears.
Anon
Soooo . . . they’re headphones?
Attorney in Philly
Does anyone have a recommendation for a good traffic attorney in Philly (for speeding)? Long story short but my family member’s attorney missed his summary trial hearing, then accused family member of not actually being a client, said family member fell through the cracks, he (lawyer) gets lots of emails so how can he possibly keep track of everyone, etc. etc. So needless to say we’re looking for a new lawyer! Thanks in advance for any leads!
Anon
Curious, why on earth are you going this route? Even an expensive ticket has to be less than legal fees. Why not just pay the fine, go to traffic school, etc? I don’t think there are many “traffic” lawyers because it’s just not something that makes sense. A DUI is different, but speeding?
Texas anon
You must not be familiar with traffic court. To educate you:
1) Family member is possibly completely innocent and doesn’t want that on his record
2) In some jurisdictions you have to appear in court to argue for traffic school + dismissal of the offense. Paying the fine admits to the offense.
3) Reputable traffic attorneys are actually very cheap and operate on volume, it usually isn’t a fully blown case where your attorney preps for hours and days at hundreds an hour, but often a cattle call where the attorney reviews the file the day before and their cases are called one after another over a course of hours. In Texas, you can hire a traffic attorney for about $150 – better than a knock on your record and insurance and less expensive than a $300 ticket.
4) Results in pleas to ratchet down the offense (ex. reckless driving because going more than 20 over the limit to just speeding), dismiss ridiculous offenses (cops will often tag on dumb offenses that judges immediately dismiss like obstructed windshield for a crack in the corner because FTP), and can negotiate down the fine.
lame
“FTP.” Super classy.
Anonymous
Not sure re Philly, but in NC it is often cheaper to pay an attorney <$250 to handle your ticket than your insurance will go up b/c of a speeding ticket. I never would have guessed but it is 100% a thing where I live.
Anon
Not the OP, but a quick scan of the Internet shows that Pennsylvania has reckless driving laws, which include up to 90 days in jail, a six-month license suspension, and a $200 fine.
PhillyProsecutor
Was it actually Philly and was it actually speeding? Our police cars aren’t equipped with radar so you can’t actually get a ticket for speeding because the cops can’t actually prove that you were going over the limit. State troopers can though so he’s out of luck in that regard if he was pulled over on the highway by a trooper.
I’m a prosecutor here. (regular poster but going anon for this for fairly obvious reasons). Pretty much no one shows up to traffic court with an attorney. Just talk to the prosecutor in court and work something out with him/her.
Senior Attorney
Find the local lawyer who specializes in traffic cases. He or she will probably advertise. In my jurisdiction it’s called The Ticket Clinic and they will probably have a similar catchy name where you are. They do high volume, they know the officers and the judges, and they will get the best possible result.
Anon
Any tips for what to do when a superior at work reviews a piece of writing and makes it worse? I’ll send her “the new data indicate the challenges women face” and she’ll edit it to be blatantly incorrect and/or wordy, like “the new data, indicate the challenges women face, of which there are many.” It’s cringeworthy much of the time but I don’t know how to approach it when she thinks she’s doing me a favor and overseeing “final edits.” I don’t want my name on that writing though! Help?
Anon
Do you have to accept 100% of her edits? I usually don’t – even when they come from my boss.
Anonymous
List her name above yours in the credits maybe?
Equestrian Attorney
My old boss used to do this. I would write something simple and concise, without any spelling or grammar mistakes, and he would turn into a ridiculously wordy sentence stuffed with legalese. The client once mentioned on the phone that she found my emails way easier to understand and to the point than his. At my early performance review, I got “you’re doing great work, but we need you to work on your writing style”. Ugh. I don’t have any solutions because I ended up changing jobs (there were other reasons). But sometimes your writing style is just really incompatible with someone else’s. My new boss hardly amends anything except for substance and has praised my writing. So no advice, just commiseration.
Senior Attorney
I had a boss once (appellate court justice) who would take out 90% of the commas in my writing. When I explained that my commas made the opinions easier to read, he said “That may be true, but it’s my position that if I go to the trouble of publishing an opinion under my name, the reader can work a little to understand it.” Argh…
AOK
There is no way I would pay that kind of money for cashmere that is see-through. Nope. Not gonna happen.
PolyD
Bloomingdale’s was giving away cashmere – $59 for a cardigan (looks like they’re $79 now). I think it’s their C brand, something like that. They are lightweight, but I wouldn’t call them see-through.
Gift for Myself
DH and I decided to each buy ourselves gifts for $200 instead of buying Christmas gifts for the other person. But I cannot think of anything I want to buy. I have everything I need and want from a material perspective, primarily because I just don’t have many wants. I have the clothes, accessories, etc. that I want, we travel primarily on points because we both travel so much for work, and our home is fully outfitted. The only purchase I am thinking about is a spa gift card or studio class gift card, but I wanted to buy an actual thing because it’s my Christmas gift.
So I’m finding myself scrolling through websites trying to create demand and find something I want to buy. This is dumb. Anyone have anything they have purchased or received that costs around $200 that they love, but would not really have thought to purchase for themselves? I like to read, exercise, cook, and drink coffee (but I use the library, have all the workout and cooking gear I need). Typing this out feels so privileged and I know that I am fortunate.
TorontoNewbie
what about spending it on experiences then? a personal trainer or coach in your exercise area? classes or a membership to a sport you’ve wanted to try? massages? travel to a race or an event?
No
you said it yourself. it also sounds dumb to me. don’t buy anything if you don’t want or need anything.
(I do like the idea of yoga/exercise membership)
Anonymous
I used to have unmatching cheap hangers. I switched to wood hangers for nice things (work suits) and all-matching higher-end hangers for everything else and it really made my closet look a lot better. It is mentally soothing and I love seeing it tidy and nice looking every day.
Gift for Myself
Great idea! Thanks! This is exactly the kind of thing I’m hoping people can suggest.
Anon
Give yourself a real gift and save the money or donate it. You’re right – it’s dumb to scroll and create demand.
Hildy
Agreed. This website sometimes drives me crazy because of the mindless consumption, but this is one of the worst things I’ve read. Don’t create need or desire where there isn’t any.
Anon
I love my video doorbell.
Cat
Just save it for a time that you want to buy something but think “I love it but I don’t really NEEEEEEED it.” Forcing yourself to find something to buy isn’t good for anyone but the retailer.
Senior Attorney
That’s what I was going to suggest. Wrap up a couple of crisp $100 bills and save them for when the urge hits.
C
I’d buy the waterproof Kindle paperwhite. I have an old Kindle that works fine but I prefer the paperwhite screen (borrowed a friend’s on a trip) and waterproof is a nice bonus for the pool, beach, general clumsiness.
Is there anything you have that’s just ok but you’d like to upgrade to a newer or better version?
Housecounsel
The Kindle paperwhite is probably my most prized possession.
givemyregards
Are you me? I once thought I’d lost mine (left at the pool) and immediately ordered a new one (the waterproof one because see aforementioned pool reference). A kind neighbor returned it to me but I still kept the second one and use the old one for when I travel.
Anonshmanon
I’d spend it on a nice, large framed print to hang somewhere in the house.
Torin
I’ve bought spa cards as gifts for other people. Why would that not be a good gift for yourself? I think that makes more sense than trying to come up with something to buy that you don’t actually want.
Anonymous
A new carry-on suitcase. Specifically, this one, which I have and love: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01HIATF6Y/
Senior Attorney
Oh, lord. That’s gorgeous.
Anonymous
As another person who likes to cook, I’d probably use it to buy some some super specific/special ingredient. Like, the true, true balsamic vinegar from Modena. (I went to the farm that was featured on Anthony Bourdain’s show and tasted the product and it is incredible). Or some real truffles, or (not a thing, but an experience) for a fancy wine dinner in my city that I never otherwise would be able to justify.
anon
I found a type of underwear I like, but that cost like $15 each. Bought 10 pairs all in the same color, threw out all the old ratty pairs. Feels incredibly luxurious every day. Same with socks – threw out all the old random pairs accumulated over the years and bought 8 pair of black soft wool dress socks from a good brand.
givemyregards
ooh – this is a great idea. my problem is that when I do this, I just continue to keep all the old pairs because they’re still technically functional. So I just end up with like fifty pairs of underwear.
Anonymous
coffee syrups, fancy chocolate, coffee of the month (Beanbox subscription)
Dairy free
The comment on cutting dairy for acne the other day was super helpful for snack ideas. But I have more questions.
My 5 y/o has had intermittent stomach pain for about a year now. X-rays show that she’s back led up a little and when we do Miralax, it helps somewhat, but goes from acutely painful to dull pain. Recently we’ve tried cutting/reducing heavily dairy and it seems to be really working. She had a milk protein allergy as a baby which isn’t the same thing but at least inspired me to try it. BUT.
She’s 5. The world is build around dairy for 5 year olds! Plus, her school is super restrictive and prohibits not only bits, but anything processed in a plant with nuts (no cross contamination). I need lunch and snack ideas since her standby of ham and cheese roll ups or cheese cheese on raisin bread are out. She can’t have cheese sticks or yogurt, which had been staples (though recently she’s said she doesn’t like them- I think it’s because they’ve been bothering her stomach). She likes scrambled eggs but not hard boiled, and prefers them with cheese. She eats tons of nuts but can’t have them at school. She is in preschool so can’t have anything that needs reheating and a thermos of soup is both not her thing and also a little too much work. The caramel rice cakes I looked at (because she likes the cheese ones) are made in a factory with nuts so not allowed at school.
Ideas? She’s been eating a ton of fruit and plain deli meat roll ups with a slice of raisin bread but it’s getting old. She doesn’t like carrots or pepper for a hummus dip assuming I find one that isn’t cross contaminated with pine nuts. She likes salad (not tomatoes though) but how do I pack that for preschool?
I feel so bad because she’s really not a picky eater at all, but happens to not like raw carrots or tomatoes or hard boiled eggs (she’ll eat them if she has to, but wouldn’t want for lunch every day). One of her fri did isnactually lactose intolerant so I asked his mom for ideas but unfortunately he loves raw veggies ;).
Also, any kid friendly dairy light ideas would be great. This kid is easy and will eat steak and spinach, but I have 2 toddlers that are happy with default Mac and cheese, quesadillas, grilled cheese, etc. chicken nuggets and fish sticks are OK.
Anonymous
Will she eat egg salad or tuna salad?
Dairy Free
Both of these are OK at home when fresh, but end up really messy and soggy at school if packed as a sandwich. And stinky. But I might give it a go or try packing bread and the insides separate and she can mess with it at school. Worth a shot! (FWIW I never liked either as a kid in my lunch–but liked them just fine at home for the same reason).
Anonymous
Maybe don’t serve as a sandwich – just serve the salad itself with a spoon. I love tuna salad this way.
Vicky Austin
+1. Or with crackers.
Anon
Or pack the slices of bread separately and let her take a bite of salad and then a bite of bread.
givemyregards
Same. And this might be a big much for a preschooler, but I like to make egg salad wraps in lettuce – they work great for lunch because no soggy bread. Could also do a piece of lettuce between egg salad and bread.
K
Is sunflower seed butter ok? I’ve seen parents use that when their kid’s school doesn’t allow nuts.
Anonymous
We have it, and she (and I) think it’s gross. She likes almond butter and nutella but those aren’t allowed either!
Anononymous
It’s SO gross. I don’t know why people think it’s an acceptable alternative to nut butter. Bleh.
Anon
Have you tried sunbutter brand? It’s smoother in consistency than others. I have a nut allergic child who used to also have a dairy allergy. We did soy yogurt for her. Nancy’s is a lower sugar brand for soy yogurt. Coconut yogurt is a possibility too. Mashed avocado sandwiches are good. Cold pasta.
Have you considered determining whether it is still the milk protein that is the problem for her, or whether lactose intolerance is the problem?
Also, thank you for complying with the no nuts policy. It’s traumatic beyond words to see your child have an anaphalactic reaction and realize that you could lose her.
Anonymous
She’s not lactose intolerant. And I don’t even think she has a milk protein allergy. I think she has a stomach/body that is extra sensitive to an over abundance of dairy. From ages 8 months-4 she tolerated cheese/dairy just fine.
What’s odd too is that a similar intolerance/discomfort happened to my husband around this age. In the early 80s it was slim pickings and he drank a lot of goat milk. He outgrew it and it was labeled an allergy but his mom said it wasn’t really an allergy and more of a sensitivity.
Torin
That or tahini.
Anonymous
Maybe try the Mom’s site?
Vicky Austin
What about snow peas or celery sticks? Is sun butter allowed for something to dip in? When you say she likes salad, what do you mean – can you pack some lettuce in a tiny tupperware and send her with a little fork in her lunch box? What about dried fruits? If she likes raisin bread she might like raisins or dried cranberries and you can add those to salad for a little fun.
Also, a friend of mine with 3 daughters, 2 of whom can’t eat cheese, often makes lasagna with tofu instead of ricotta, and her dairy-eating daughter and husband have still not realized that something is different (lol).
Anonymous
I lived on chef-boy-ardee as a child. Beefaroni? Dairy in that is minimal. My kids like spaghetti in a thermos also, with meatballs.
DCJ
Just a note on this: one of the ways my parents discovered my lactose intolerance as a child was the severe reaction I consistently had to Chef Boyardee on vacation (special treat! and hours of agony!). A trip to the hospital and a bunch of testing confirmed both the intolerance and that it was specifically triggered by our delicious vacation treats because these prepared pastas are actually full of lactose in the form of powdered milks and cheese derivatives. I think my mom is still guilty about this. Anyway, YMMV, but a word of caution.
anon
I would try different kinds of meatballs (with dipping sauces if necessary). Inspired by a meal from Red Robin, my kids like eating turkey meatballs with thin breadsticks that work like a toothpick. They also went through a phase where every day for lunch they ate pasta (tri-color rotini tossed with olive oil) mixed with whatever veggies we had around, sometimes with chicken or sliced sausage. We would pack it in a tupperware type container and stick it in their lunchbox. They were fine eating it room temperature without reheating.
Cb
I really like the IKEA vegetarian meatballs.
Katie
How about falafel balls to dip in hummus? I think that would be fun.
mascot
Are her lunches getting old for her or old for you? If you can find 2-3 lunches she likes, I’d rotate those and not worry about it. Use the meals at home to eat more variety. This is a good time to do a mix and match menu since kids generally love nibbles plates/bento box styles. Even cold leftovers work. Pick a fruit, pick a veggie, pick a starch, pick a protein. You could serve deli meat in lettuce wraps, add some berries, and a few crackers. We’ve done cold spiral pasta with chopped chicken. My kid like hard boiled egg whites, but not the yolk so maybe split up the egg.
Anon
Will she eat a bean salad or a pasta salad made with lentil pasta or similar? Or maybe crackers and hummus, other veggies like cucumber or broccoli, apples and sunbutter, fiber bars, roasted edamame or chickpeas, kale chips, black bean brownies, popcorn. I would err on the side of fiber, since it can be hard to get kids to eat high fiber foods.
Anonymous
These are great ideas- thanks! I already send a fiber bar for snack, and she’s very good about cooked veggies at home (her fave is broccoli), but I like crackers + hummus, edamame and kale chips. i bet she’d go for those.
Anonymous
Any good recs on brands of kale chips or roasted edamame (or where to get these things?) We are super close to a whole foods so ideally there, but could make a trek to trader joes as needed.
Lightly Salted
The lightly salted edamame from TJ’s is delicious!
Anon
Will she eat rice? If so, look up ideas from Japanese bento boxes. Lots of kids in Japan are lactose intolerant. The bentos get super elaborate, but you can grab ingredient ideas.
Anonymous
+1 and you can also use dairy free (vegan) cheese in a bento style box.
I use a baking wooden roller to roll out the dairy-free cheese and tiny cookie cutters to make cheese cutouts for bento style lunches. There are also dairy free cream cheese style spreads that work well with bagels.
Dairy Free
….yeah. I have 3 kids under 6 so unless my kid rollles out her own vegan cheese we need fast options :-). Absolutely no snark intended- I’m just at the point where everyone in pants is a win :-). And heck, she probably would think cheese cookies are a neat craft one night!
waffles
I don’t have kids, so not sure if this is something a preschooler could feed herself, but applesauce? Do they make it in a squeeze-up tube like they have done with yogurt?
Vicky Austin
They do! My 17-year-old athlete sister eats those like they’re going out of style.
Dairy free
Kid actually makes her own applesauce (and pear sauce and raspberry jam) and cans it ;). But yes, the cups and tubes are both already lunchbox staples. And my 5 year old is actually a grandma.
sharkBite
Ha! Love this!
anon
I still pack my 15 year old daughter’s lunch for all sorts of reasons but mainly because she runs and I want the food to be available. She is not big on dairy, and this is what she likes.
deli meat & strawberries in a divided container, along with 3 or 4 of the following:
Cheerios
Ghiradelli chocolate chips
Haribo gummy bears
Grab the Gold bar
caramel flavored rice cake
saltine crackers
banana
Often the bar and/or banana come home.
anon
I have sometimes sent cereal with a little thing of milk (you could do soy milk). Although my kid eats the same thing for lunch every day (plain yogurt with granola) and then had it for dessert last night too, so I don’t fuss with variety.
Anonymous
Would she eat quinoa? My kids love chickpeas, quinoa, & mango salad with 1 tsp of balsamic vinegar in the quinoa. I like to add tomatoes and cucumbers but I know your kiddo doesn’t like tomatoes.
Anonymous
Hard or soft shell tacos? kind of like a sandwich and can be stuffed with various things?
anon in brooklyn
I make a lot of frittatas for my preschooler—more like scrambled eggs, and I can stick all sorts of veggies in there.
Not the OP but this helps!
This is a terrific thread. Thanks all!
Shopaholic
If she likes eggs, what about egg muffins? they’re good dairy free. It’s basically just veggies and eggs – no need for cheese or milk.
SFAttorney
A bean, pasta, and veggie salad with vinaigrette?
Brokentoe
Has anyone here done PRP (Platelet-Rich-Plasma) treatment for osteoarthritis (due to injury)? I had a PRP treatment in hopes of forestalling a hip replacement surgery almost 3 weeks ago. I am trying to remain positive but I’d love to hear of anyone’s personal or anecdotal experience. Dr. said it’s a gradual improvement and to give it 6 weeks, but it’s very likely I’ll be starting a big new job in January and I’m concerned about being up to it. TIA!
LAJen
I had PRP for tennis elbow, and it did literally nothing. NOTHING. There are a lot of web sites out there where people have detailed great results, and my orthopedic surgeon told me all about how his athlete clients had great results, so I was really disappointed.
I tell you this not to discourage you, as you may have great results over time, but so that you don’t feel crazy if you don’t. It is not a miracle cure for everyone.
Brokentoe
Thank you….the web searching I did turned up lots of good outcome stories but given that PRP is still an experimental treatment, most of it feels like a sales pitch. Time will tell.
LAJen
Absolutely! I’m crossing my fingers that you have great results!!
Paris Recommendations?
Going to Paris for 5 days in April with my fiance for a pre-wedding getaway – any recommendations on things to do/places to stay/places to eat, besides the obvious? (we are planning on doing the Paris Pass for the “must-do” tourist things) We don’t mind being on public transport etc. if anybody has any recommendations on things to do outside of the “downtown.” We met in French class in high school back in the day so this is a special bucket list trip for us.
If it matters, I have rudimentary/extremely basic French but I’m better at reading than speaking, and I’d say he is conversational (uses it in a business context) in the language. I’ve traveled all around in countries with a much more aggressive language barrier so not worried about this per say.
anon8
Check out https://www.davidlebovitz.com/ for restaurant/pastry shop recommendations.
Anon
Do a food tour! This was one of the best parts of our trip. We went to a market in an old residential neighborhood– cheese shop, butcher, etc. So, all places that we would not have gone ourselves. The guide also ordered a lot of items (like types of cheeses and meats) that I did not even know existed– and then I knew what they were on menus the rest of the time we were in Paris. I’d suggest doing a tour in whatever neighborhood your hotel is in so that you can duck back into the pastry shops, etc. that they take you to during the rest of your trip.
Senior Attorney
We did an amazing cheese class through Paris By Mouth and it was a highlight of the trip. They also do tours, which I am sure are equally great.
Also: Shopping in the Marais District. And we walked from our hotel next door to the Louvre to Montmartre and it was great fun and took us through some interesting neighborhoods.
Cat
Do NOT buy the Paris Pass (unless you actually meant the Museum Pass, which is a different thing and definitely worth it if you plan on visiting more than one covered site per day; it comes in 2, 4, or 6 day packages).
You will be more than fine with your own basic French — and set up perfectly with your fiance’s — as most people in the service industry speak English as it relates to their job. For transit, FYI we found the Citymapper app to be better than Google maps due to its extremely precise Metro directions.
With 5 days, I’m not sure I’d do a big side trip and instead leave extra time for wandering and lingering over long meals. Versailles is the classic day trip, but definitely sucks an entire exhausting day out of you to do it. That said…. Monet’s Giverny gardens are stunning and doable in 1/2 day on the train (even better if you also visit the Orangerie to see the water lily paintings before or after), but if you’re not a big art or garden person obviously that wouldn’t be a priority for you!
Marshmallow
I was going to say the same thing: we didn’t realize there was a difference and you could just get the Museum Pass separately. The Museum Pass is worth it, the Paris Pass is not. There are too many dinky little touristy things on the Paris Pass that you won’t really want to do, and the one or two things you will really want to do can be purchased individually. The Museum Pass is a great deal because museums in Paris are $$$. Keep in mind the “skip the line” features do NOT apply at Versailles or generally to security lines (which tend to be way longer than the ticket line anyway), which was a big bummer for us.
We loved Giverny, although Versailles is also a great day trip. The Rodin sculpture garden was a wonderful mid-day break and it’s right in the middle of Paris so it’s really easy to combine with whatever else you’re doing in the city. Some of our favorite food was at a pub-type place called Paris Follie’s– not fancy, just delicious.
SC
The Rodin sculpture garden is my happy place.
Ellen
Be careful of the pickpocket’s! Rosa got stuck and lost all of her purse contents b/c some smelley street urchins distracted her, then one of them goosed her so she dropped her bag. They ran off, took all the stuff inside then threw the bag back towards her. It was ruined and she had to go to the embassy to get new papers to get home. Dad was not happy, but since Rosa needed him, he was there for her. FOOEY on those foreign street urchins.
BB
If you are comfortable in most of the large US metropolitan cities, you’ll be fine. Make sure you say “bonjour” to any shopkeepers or other people you need to interact with before asking them questions (otherwise, it is seen as very rude). Basic French is fine. I really liked the Metro system – not the best in the world, but better than NYC. Get a carnet of 10 tickets and take it wherever you need to go. Restaurant reservations for dinner are highly recommended, even for more casual places. If you don’t like crowds at the tourist sites, go first thing when it opens or the last hour before they close. Usually, the large groups have left by then.
Cat
+1 on dinner reservations, though note that the French eat later than we typically do. Our first trip to Paris we had a bunch of 7 or 7:30 dinner reservations but the restaurants didn’t fill up with Parisians until more like 8:30-9. We learned quickly and on subsequent visits have had much more fun seated in a lively restaurant than the first lonely table! If you want to go somewhere pricey, check if they offer lunch reservations on certain days (like Frenchie – yummmmm – does on Thurs and Fri IIRC) so you can get the experience for less $$.
Lobby-est
Buy your passes to the Eiffel Tower before you go. The lines are crazy if you don’t.
Paris is a walkable city so know that you might not need as much transportation as you think
Take a night boat ride on the Seine! So much fun and seeing the ET lit up and so close made for our favorite photos
Have a great trip!
Senior Attorney
Plus one for walking. The traffic in Paris is the worst traffic I’ve ever seen in my life, and I live in Los Angeles!
waffles
We visited O Chateau for a tutored wine tasting. We both love wine but we still learned a TONNE from the session. Plus the wine bar upstairs sells many French wines by the glass, and it was a great opportunity to try some of the fancy local stuff for a reasonable price.
Idea
That’s really cute that you two met in French class! Have a great trip – bon voyage!
Unpacking
Organizing advice needed: just finished a move and have several boxes full of old memories — letters from grandparents, childhood memorabilia, my little sister’s first handprint, high school yearbooks, etc. — and only room to store one box. DH believes in throwing it all away; I’m sentimentally attached but dreading sorting it all. What do you keep? All/none/1-2 of each type?
anon
I’m fairly minimalist about what I keep, but the items you describe sound really special! I would keep all the letters (without question), handprint and the yearbooks. I’d pare down the childhood memorabilia that doesn’t mean as much.
C2
This + scan or Turboscan all of the letters and documents into something like Evernote so in case they do accidentally get pitched or water damaged or something, you’ll have it backed up. Letters are powerful things, and while you may not appreciate them as much today, future generations might.
Idea
this. Photo, photo, photo, get someone to help if needed. Photo front, backs, stamps, postmarks, every. thing.
jwalk
I recently pared down a ton of childhood memorabilia, including stuffed animals, and decided most things I could just take a picture of and then didn’t mind throwing away. It helped me feel like I still could look back on them without having to actually find storage space.
ATL rette
Can you scan in all of the letters so you have a digital copy? I’d keep all of the letters in “hard copy” form as well.
The rest I personally am meh on so would probably get rid of anything unless it had particularly strong memories attached.
Vicky Austin
I would definitely keep letters from grandparents and yearbooks! To me, those are big-ticket items. Childhood memorabilia I would be more picky about. When I was in high school I started a “high school box” for myself and deposited anything in there I wanted to keep. I went through it again a couple years later and decided maybe I didn’t need to keep every single certificate from the state dairy farmers’ association for high GPAs as a student athlete – they gave out one to everybody who had above a 3.5, then everybody who had above a 3.75, then everybody who had a 4.0, so if you had a 4.0 you got THREE certificates, every season, every sport. It was just hilarious in retrospect, and I threw all of them out.
Paging Pompom
Paging Pompom…
I sent you a message about your career path from yesterday’s thread!
Pompom
Just saw two emails, so I’m excited to share with y’all. I’ll probably get back to the two of you this evening or tomorrow; project due tonight is slowing me down.
Anon
I’ve recently started dating a great guy who happens to be muslim, and am wondering if anyone has experience they can offer. I was raised Catholic and would consider myself a bad Catholic, but I believe in God and go to church occasionally. We’ve had several great dates, and moving into the territory where I feel like deeper conversations about our core values and beliefs are right around the corner. I’m curious but I feel like I’m terribly uninformed, and I don’t want him to feel like he has to be the representative of his entire faith community. Any resources you’d recommend to help me ask better questions and lead to a better conversation? Any anecdotal experiences? We’ve only talked about things vaguely so far, like he doesn’t eat pork or drink, though he encourages me to do so if I want to, he’ll eat any other meat regardless of whether it is halal. He is a thoughtful, kind, sensitive guy, and this is just one part of him, but it’s an important part and I don’t want to do or say something insensitive without realizing it.
anon
I’m in an intercultural, interracial relationship. If I were your guy, I think I’d appreciate you approaching this from the standpoint of just learning about his core values as he wants to share them, and learn about the role that faith plays, and getting a sense of if you have mismatches. It’s really the same as you’d go about evaluating compatibility of any other partner. I think people should always take a “person-first” approach. You’re not trying to learn about Islam/his beliefs *as a Muslim,* you’re looking to learn about the guy, his beliefs, his values. Of course his faith will play into that, but that doesn’t need to be the focus.
tl;dr, just get to know the guy and his values etc. don’t fixate on him being a muslim
Anon
Thanks, I think that’s exactly what I needed someone to tell me.
anon
Cool. The “person first” approach is my answer to most things like this, and it has yet to steer me (or anyone else I know) wrong :)
Anonymous
+1. I’m in an interfaith marriage. You don’t speak for all Catholics, just like he doesn’t speak for all Muslims. You can ask about the role his faith plays in his values, and you can ask how this is different/not different from how he was raised (for example, do his parents/grandparents only eat halal meat? Do they follow other traditions that he doesn’t – if so, was this part of his life when he was growing up?). If you want general info about Islam, ask him if there are any resources he’d recommend – my husband dug up an old book from his childhood that explained some of his religious traditions, which helped me understand some things and was even more meaningful because it was something that he learned from.
Anon
Thanks, I think this addresses one of the places I feel like I have a stark shortfall – he grew up in North America, knows about Christmas and Easter and is happy to participate in the winter holidays. I know next to nothing about Ramadan and it’s traditions, or any of the other holidays/days of religious importance.
Anonnn
Oxford Islamic Studies has a website that I’ve heard praised. I need to know those kinds of traditions since I work in higher ed where many students observe.
Anonymous
I’ve dated a lot of guys, a few guys who were Muslim. Few observations:
– not surprising, but there are many interpretations of the religion (e.g., sex during Ramadan). Don’t expect to find any definitive answers on the internet.
– degrees of faith also differ… some can be essentially non-practicing
– some guys have family pressure to marry within the religion, done don’t
But that pretty much applies to any person of any religion.
It’s absolutely worth having conversations about it with him. I would do some basic intent research on Islam before for some context, but don’t assume any absolutes.
anon
My in-laws are generous people and giving gifts is one of their love languages. It’s not mine, nor DH’s. MIL is hounding DH and I for gift ideas, and I’m having trouble coming up with material things that I really want to ask for. We’ve both entered the phase where our household is set up and we don’t necessarily want to acquire more stuff. MIL’s gift-giving style is more about quantity over quality … so anything that I’d want to “upgrade” is probably out. I totally get that a pile of gifts under the tree makes her happy, but she’s already going a tad overboard with the number of gifts for the grandkids.
What I want are things like a digital subscription to the NYT, a Patreon donation to my favorite podcast so I can get the bonus content, or a gift card to the fancy drive-through carwash near my house, or an Amazon gift card so I can buy Kindle books. I know, super boring, but they are little things that really make my everyday life better! How do I sell MIL on the idea of this kind of thing, when she’s … kind of opposed to giving gifts that can’t be opened? Or do I just respect the fact that I need to work within her gift-giving preferences?
I am afraid I sound like an ungrateful Grinch, and I’m really not trying to be. :(
Anonymous
Husband needs to run interference but maybe you list a few options? Could also be a generational thing.. the things you want are techie, digital, etc.
Anononymous
Instead of a gift card for Kindle books, what about physical books? You can donate them to the library after you read them so they aren’t wasteful the same way other unwanted gifts are.
anon
Maybe ask for real books? I have several I’m eyeing right now that I’d like to own in hardback. The new Michelle Obama book, Bad Blood, the new Louise Penny novel…
I’d also suggest air pods – I love mine :)
Unicorn?
You could find a local nonprofit that has a wishlist for donations, like a women’s shelter or a school, and ask her for items off that list. Then you could donate them or even go together to donate them, and then everyone can feel good about giving and helping people who actually need things.
jwalk
Perhaps she could pair these non-openable gifts with something that can be opened, so a NYT t-shirt along with a print-out of the digital subscription confirmation, or an actual book along with the Amazon gift card? Just something small, but it might fulfill her need to give multiple, physical gifts.
Edna Mazur
Similar boat. One idea is personal care items. Perhaps a nicer makeup item or serum than you’d purchase for yourself. Or some makeup that you are running out of or will need replaced. A face mask? Nicer hand lotion than the stuff I usually buy at the dollar store? My MIL loves buying me that kind of thing. Also, maybe not upgrades, but replacements or things not typically thought of as gifts? My kitchen garbage can is getting a bit broken so I’ve asked for a new one this year. Is your clothes hamper drooping? Towels getting super dingy (think I’ll ask for this next year and donate the stained/fraying ones to the animal shelter)? One year I asked for carbon monoxide detectors and an extra fire extinguisher.
Cat
My in-laws are like this too — they will happily spend $150-$200 but only if it means 5-6 things to open rather than, say, one nice pair of earrings. This is EXACTLY the strategy we employ. I save up $10-$30 items that we’d otherwise just buy for ourselves but put them on our Xmas list instead. So things like a nice nail polish or lipstick, pack of ankle socks, running shorts, new towels for the kitchen, a new ice scraper for the car, slippers (inevitably 40-50% off from Lands End etc) work very well to channel the “many gifts” energy into items we actually want!
Pompom
My parents are like this, but happily are getting to the point of “one thing for under the tree” as opposed to a gift cert/donation. We use this as an opportunity to re-up our perfume/cologne. It’s a little luxury that they enjoy gifting, it feels like “enough,” and it is consumable.
Now, if I could only get my MIL to stop sending us clothes for lives we don’t have…like, I appreciate the thought, but your son is not a lumberjack. He works in an office.
anon
Same. I ask for little things – cozy socks, sunglasses (I’m always breaking mine), kitchen tools, chocolate, nuts, etc. The key is inexpensive and small, but I would still enjoy. Many small & inexpensive things also satisfy her itch for a pile of presents.
Anon
Consumables (special seasonal candies, fruits, oils and vinegars, spices) will satisfy her itch of lots of gifts, they are inexpensive, and won’t take up space for very long – and you can give them away to friends who you know have tastes for that type of thing without her asking about why X isn’t still at your house.
I’d throw in personal care consumables as well like nice purse lotions (Kiel’s), face masks, things that you currently use but need replacements of.
Anonymous
This. Ask for fancy olive oil and salt and balsalmico and muffin mix. Anything that’s a stable in your pantry probably has a fancy pants version that’s like an indulgent gift.
Play up the ‘it would be a such a treat! I would never buy it for myself’.
anon a mouse
+1 to consumables – also things like exotic flavored smoked salts, fancy sprinkles for cookies (I spent way too much time on the Fancy Sprinkles site earlier today), Rancho Gordo beans, etc.
You could also ask for theater or movie tickets.
Or, something for your desk at work – a small succulent plant? Fun new office supplies? Personalized stationery?
Anonymous
Ultimately, she’s not interested in giving you cash which is all gift cards are. Do you have room in your life for books? Any beauty products you use and know you’ll need more of? Perfume? Any items of clothing? Socks? Slippers? A 2019 calendar? A new phone case cause yours is looking old? Something you know you’ll be able to regift to someone else? New spices because yours are old? A fancy baking mix? A board game? Puzzle? Really? Literally nothing tolerable on this list? Then it’s a you problem.
Anonymous
I’d ask for things you’d otherwise buy for yourself, and then use that money you’re not spending to buy the experiences and gift cards you want. So, if you drink wine or coffee or tea, ask for your favorites. If you need a new blanket or kitchen towels or lawn chairs or planters or a sunhat and beach towels for vacations or hiking boots or … whatever you need.
Hildy
I’m in the same situation. We just always say we have a small apartment and ask for no physical items – the small apartment part is true but it’s more so because we’re mindful of our consumption. It’s fine to be clear about what you want, we started to gift experiences instead of physical items to other people as well so they’re receiving the same sort of things we’re asking for.
Cancun Recs?
Whats your favorite hotel in Cancun? Going for MLK weekend with a gal pal. We’d like to be where the action is and not far from the airport. We like all inclusives just to make things easy. We love a bargain but also want to stay somewhere nice. Any thoughts or recs? Thanks!
Anonymous
Aqua! Felt very luxe and the spa and food were very good.
Anononymous
+1 to Live Aqua. I didn’t go to the spa, but I agree the food is excellent and I’m a snob. Beach and pool were beautiful. It’s pretty spendy though, not the most expensive in the area but definitely not cheap.
Anonymous
Club Med