Which were your favorite posts of the year, readers? Here are some of my favorite posts and discussion posts, as well as our top posts of the year by traffic statistics!
(Feel free to use this post for threadjacking!)
Note that you can check out this page for our top posts of all time!
OUR TOP POSTS OF 2022 (BY TRAFFIC)
(according to Google Analytics, as of 12-27-2022
- The Best Women’s Suits in 2022 (major update)
- Guide to the Best Tops for Under Women’s Suits (major update)
- The Best Places to Shop for Plus-Size Work Clothes (major update)
- The Hunt: Best Wide Leg Pants to Wear to Work
- The Best Sneakers for Work Outfits
- The Hunt: The Best Sweater Jackets for the Office (major update)
- The Hunt: Best Women’s Dress Pants for Winter (major update)
- The Hunt: The Best Bodysuits for Work Outfits (major update)
- What to Buy for Work at J.Crew
- What to Wear to a Holiday Party (major update)
My Other Favorite Articles of the Year
- How to Feel Comfortable In Your Own Skin (Readers’ Advice)
- Best Strength Training Programs to Do Without a Gym
- Disengaging Instead of Quitting
- Tips for Interviewing for High Level Jobs
- How to Dress Like You’re in Charge
- How to Ask Your Interviewer About Work-Life Balance
- C-Suite Style: How to Upgrade Your Wardrobe After a Promotion
- Sites Where You Can Find Anything Worn in TV Shows or Movies
- Head Colds & Business Etiquette in 2022
- Favorite Low-Cost Clothing Basics
- What to Buy for Work at Amazon
- Easy, Warm Workday Lunches
- 8 Tips on How to Age Well
- How to Prevent Lifestyle Creep
(Check the comments)!
- Color vs Going Gray
- How Many Dishes Do You Own (And What Patterns)?
- Crop Tops at Work: Yea or Nay
- Three Things to Consider Before Moving to a LCOL Area
- How Many Paid Vacation Days Do You Get Every Year?
- How Much Help Do You Have In Your Life?
- How Are You Dealing with Lower Prices?
- What Are the Lower Limits of Business Casual?
- Life Hacks That Changed Your Standard Operating Procedure(s)
- What Workouts Are You Loving Right Now?
- How Big Is Your Work Wardrobe?
- What is the Most Expensive Thing You Own – and Do You Wear It?
- What Are Your Favorite TV Shows for Workwear Inspiration?
- What Would You Do With a Billion Dollars?
- What Makes a Home Look Dated?
Hunts That Got Updates
- The Best Pull-On Pants for the Office
- The Best Dresses for Work
- The Best Vegan Shoes for Work
- Where to Find Chanel-Style Jackets for Work
- Best Bras for Work Outfits
- Best Boyfriend Blazers for Work
- The Best Wide-Leg Pants to Wear to Work
- The Best Places to Shop for Plus-Size Work Clothes
- Classic and Stylish Skirts for Work
- Statement Blazers for Work
Times I Learned Stuff:
- How to Recast a Mortgage
- Which Are the Best Sneakers for Work Outfits?
- Review of Online Color Consultations
- Advice from a Divorce Lawyer: What to Know If You’re Considering Divorce
- How to Prepare for a Big Storm
Looking for older roundups like this? Here were our top posts and favorites from 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2013, 2012, 2011, and 2010.
For folks who wear Soma vanishing edge hipsters, are they sized really tiny? Or am I just extra pear shaped? Ordered some in a L, but I fear the seams will give way in a few wears and there is a sausage-casing effect. I have loved these for years and was a M pre-COVID. 5-4, 130#, about to reorder in an XL (one I got by accident at the store seems to fit fine).
At that size you should be a S or at most an M at Soma. I am a bit smaller than you and the S is almost too big on me. I think you got some defective ones and should go back to the store.
+1, I’m 5’4″ and about 125 and the S is just right or a little loose even.
I’m just 3-5 pounds heavier than that, same height, and I find Medium to fit, but it’s close. I’d consider going up to a Large if I ordered them again. So they might run a bit small – I’m comfortably a Medium in most other underpants. Although come to think of it, mine are briefs and a few years old, so maybe they aren’t comparable.
I’d say I’m slightly pear shaped, but don’t have a big problem finding regular pants that fit, so not extremely pear shaped.
I size up slightly one size as a pear-shaped person. I do find that the edges split after a year or so, so I may try one additional size up to see if they last longer. Mine are not uncomfortable or sausage casing like, though.
I also may be an extra-pear shaped person as my undies are usually at least 1 size up from my pants size, so you may be in the same boat – basically all of the pear-shape is in play where it’s muted for pants/etc.
I am a little taller than you and similar weight, and I am a more extreme pear and definitely wear Large in SOMA. It just depends on your shape.
When I first started wearing those undies (after reading about them here), I followed another pear shaped woman’s advice and bought several pairs/styles (on sale) to figure out my size and the best cut for me. Yes, it was pricier up front, but you just have to do it, right? Honestly, I’m almost an XL, and kept both the L and XL. Different cuts also fit differently.
It just depends on your body. As with all clothes, don’t get hung up with the sizing. For most of us, for things to fit well, we have to try on an array of sizes from any clothing designer/source, and for me, almost every item of clothing (in an ideal world) would need to be tailored. Literally nothing fits my body exactly right.
I am roughly your size (I am 5’2″, 125#). Though I haven’t tried the soma stuff, I have an observation for you. IME, the “sausage casing” effect is a result of the texture of your flesh, not necessarily the size or shape. (Assuming by “sausage casing” you mean it looks like a water balloon with a rubber band wrapped around it- the elastic digs into the flesh and make sit look more lumpy under clothes?)
In other words, if you have a squishy butt & thighs like me, sausage casing effect is more likely. Someone else with the exact same size & shape whose butt and thighs are muscular and firm will not experience that.
I find if I get the right cut in a large enough size for the leg bands to go all the way under the crease where my butt hangs over my thighs, it solves this problem. I like Natori bliss full briefs for this- size M.
Eesh — at this point in the holidays I am pretty well marbled.
lm about the same size but wear L or XL in Soma! I just always assumed it was a impenetrable mystery (my pants are normally M)
My dad and I want to plan a father-daughter weekend getaway this winter. We live in the frozen Northeast and are planning for a three or four night trip somewhere on the East Coast (easy to fly to, for us) that will be reasonably warm (for us even 50 degrees is great!) but doesn’t need to be hot. Where should we go? Dad is late 60s, very active, and doesn’t drink. We both like history, hiking, cities and towns, and music. We are both foodies. I had thought of New Orleans but the flights are too long for such a short trip. Thanks in advance!
As far as easy flights and warm weather are concerned, Fort Lauderdale is a good bet. I would opt for a quieter area than where the spring breakers go, but I’m sure there are lowkey options.
Yeah, I was going to suggest the Hollywood, FL area. Fly into FLL, walk along the broad walk, spend too much time on Yelp picking delicious things to eat.
I’d suggest Coconuts in Ft Lauderdale by the beach. Delicious seafood and solid cocktails while you watch the boats go by.
Definitely a lower key break, but might be really nice.
Orlando is a better bet than Ft. Lauderdale.
Agree! Great beaches either direction (although the Daytona Beaches are in great shape and have better access), Kennedy Space Center, kayaking during full moon, hiking through beautiful preserves, lots of connected bike trails…
Is there anything to do in Orlando that isn’t theme park related? It’s been a while since I’ve been there but thought the city itself was pretty meh on the food and activity front, unless you want to drive an hour away.
Fly to Charlotte and drive to Asheville (2 hours).
This or maybe just fly to Richmond.
Richmond weather is hugely variable. It was 8 degrees here a week ago and will hit 72 next week. An inch or two of snow shuts everything down, which was shocking to me when I moved here from Boston. I would not come here as a winter escape from the Northeast. Go to FL or AZ.
Asheville is in the mountains. It’s snowy in the winter. Not necessarily in the town itself, but definitely in the surrounding mountains and the Blue Ridge Parkway is often closed.
True. It could be rotten or lovely, varies by the hour. Between Asheville and Charlotte there is a lot of great hiking, some hilly and some less so (I am a day hiker). You could base yourselves in Charlotte (if so, highly recommend The Fig Tree for dinner) and day trip for hikes.
Or Winston-Salem if Charlotte isn’t history enough. Old Salem is lovely in the winter, very Moravian.
This travel sounds more complicate than what they want, and Asheville is probably too cold that time of year.
Come to DC! Lots to do, lots of history, good food, and we are going to be flirting with 70 degrees next week.
+1000, DC is the obvious choice if the weather is forecasted to be nice at the time you’re considering going. You can’t get much more history packed into one place, tons of great food, music all over, and lovely hikes along the Potomac.
Yes come to DC! Since you like history: The National Gallery has a Dorothea Lange photographs exhibit. The American History Museum has the Presidents’ portraits. Take a tour of Ford’s Theatre. There’s too many interesting things to name.
Savannah or Charleston
The flights there can be expensive or need a connection, which can be easy to miss if there is bad weather anywhere east of Chicago. I had some long weekends be not so great when connecting flights went sideways.
Charleston has non-stop flights to many northeast cities (Boston, NYC, Washington DC, Hartford, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Providence, Syracuse). I don’t understand the argument that it’s hard to reach.
+1 to Savannah. The food was amazing, there’s a ton of history and it’s just beautiful! You could also head out to Tybee Island for a day trip. We didn’t rent a car when we were there and Uber was not reliable at the time (pandemic) so we didn’t get out to Tybee or try for any hikes, but glancing at AllTrails it looks like there are plenty of nice, scenic nature walks of various lengths in the surrounding area too. I was there during the pandemic, so we mostly did outdoor dining, but I got the impression that several bars would have live music too (unsure if your dad is okay being in bars or not).
I went in 2021 and had a direct flight from Philly for about $150, so I wouldn’t count it out just for the flying aspect (recognizing that any flights right now are a cluster).
I haven’t been to Charleston yet, but its very high on my list!
Now I want to take this Savannah trip.
Anon at 10:47 here: I went in May 2021 and I was a burned out public health worker managing a testing and vaccination clinic and I went with 2 college friends: a burned out ICU nurse and a recently graduated med student before she started her residency in emergency medicine and we just went for runs every morning along the river and spent the day taking walks throughout the beautiful city admiring the buildings and squares, enjoying the great food and open container laws, lounging by the hotel’s pool. It was a perfect spot for a mini break that was much needed. It was like 75 and sunny there as opposed to 55 and gray at home. Everything we ate was delicious. We did a ghost tour. I read in the parks and by the pool. It was awesome.
I’m sold! That all sounds perfect.
Also, thank you and your friends for your hard work saving lives.
Yeah, flights from PHL to both places are nonstop, and unless you’re flying Southwest, air travel has been fine this week.
Agree with Savannah or Charleston.
Savannah or Charleston? Not much hiking either place but lots of history and food haha.
If you have a car, there are plenty of nice nature trails within driving distance of Charleston. Not super intensive hikes, but enough to to get some exercise and spend some time outside. It’s a great place to see birds.
I am going to Charleston in Feb for a work conference. Any recommendations on where to eat and things to do? Thanks in advance!
Come to Atlanta. It’s easy to get here and we have all that, though the hiking is urban.
I think Atlanta is underrated as far as US cities go. Lots of interesting history and plenty of good food (though probably not as good as Charleston).
We have way more good to excellent food than Charleston, it is just spread out further.
Thanks everyone! Lots of good ideas. I’m definitely intrigued by Savannah, it sounds like it hits all of the things we are looking for! But I’m going to look into all of these options.
Oddly enough, it’s currently 61 degrees in my Northeastern city.
If you go to Savannah and rent a car and want some nature hiking, you could take a day trip to Sapelo or Cumberland and wander around (ferry rides required to get to them). Jekyll is also fun to wander, though not hiking per se. There’s a bunch of other nature preserves on the Georgia coast. Georgia has shockingly good (for a red state) environmental preserves in the coastal areas.
I would go to Kiawah Island, South Carolina if I were you. My Dad took my Mom and Grandma Trudy there last March when Grandma Trudy needed a place to get away to after a bout with IBS, and she really enjoyed it b/c the food was good and they were aware of her IBS at the hotel and altered their menu accordingly. So I do not know much about your dad, other then he seems healthy, so he will really appreciate it, like Dad did also. Mom has some IBS issues too, so I hope I will not have those issues 25 years from now.
I am heading home this morning to LI to share the New Year’s Eve with my family, and Myrna is driving me at 8:30, so I have to get moving!
Happy New Year to the entire HIVE! YAY!!!!!
I love some aspects of the holidays, but I am also really ready for them to be over. Everything is just the MOST and I’m exhausted from the prep, togetherness, constant pressure to socialize and consume and drink and eat sugar.
Same. I’ve spent the week with my in-laws, who are lovely people, but I’m so ready to be home. I’m an introvert who is a B minus mom/cook/housekeeper with a demanding job, and my SILs are super mom/cooks/caretakers and OCD about cleanliness and organization. MIL has serious health issues, but won’t let me help. So I feel all around incompetent and overstimulated. One more day.
I so feel this. Same on all counts!!
Yes I was visiting my sibling and went to get something out of the pantry and it was all so impeccably organized I just felt shame. When I got home I realized my kids have had the joy of decorating their rooms with stickers and other crap they love while my nieces rooms are all beige and aside from a parent curated room sticker, devoid of any personality. I also thought about the time it took to organize that pantry and the hours I have spent traveling, going to museums etc (that my family members don’t do). And I felt better. Life is messy when well lived.
Yes, same. I was visiting family last week and we had guests for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinner, plus mass, plus visiting and dinners out. I hit a hard wall on my socializing and stimulation limits sometime between pouring the wine for christmas dinner and clearing the plates away. Had to hide away in the breakfast nook in the kitchen.
And then I came home to the hurricane level mess I left in my apartment before leaving. As long as it’s passably livable, and dirty dishes land within the vicinity of the sink while I get through a busy next two weeks with work, I’m just accepting it.
I scheduled a florida beach long weekend in mid-February. Post holiday and winter survival mode until some poolside and toes in the sand relaxation therapy.
Inbox is getting flooded this week with offers to overnight ship items for NYE. AI hasn’t yet told them that my goal is to be in bed by 9, not out in something that requires specialized undergarments and/or shapewear and ouchy shoes.
Now that you’ve typed it, your algorithm will start showing you blankets, pj’s and melatonin ads. Enjoy the night in!
That’s nice they’re offering overnight ship, though. I ordered some things for NYE on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week… Amazon says the estimated delivery date is next Wednesday!!! So much for 2 day shipping…
I am taking over management of some new employees next week (my role is changing and their roles will now fall into my group). I have worked with them all in the past, but they have no experience with me an a managerial capacity. I am setting up some one on ones for later next week to discuss the changes and upcoming year with them, but am curious from the group, what kind of things would you want to know about a new manager, and what kind of things would you want them to ask you? Not my first time managing people, but have had a break from it the past few years and have just managed processes instead, so am shaking off the dust and preparing agendas for these meetings.
The biggest things that come to mind for me are discussing communication preferences (email, slack, phone, in-person, etc), expectations for response and turnaround times, and when you and they are or are not expected to be on call/checking email/reachable.
Ask them their career goals and what they have not had time to work on. You’ll learn who wants to earn a promotion vs be an IC. And learn about what’s not getting done (for better or worse)
In addition to what has been said and talking about big things (best/worst parts of their jobs, what are the pain points, where do they need my support, communication preferences, etc.), one important thing I do is ask if there are any little problems.
“Okay. I can’t fix everything; however, are there any small things that are impacting your day to day that I can help with? Even small logistical things.”
Some examples I’ve gotten: one staffer was sitting in a place where she often had people walk up behind her and she happens to be deaf in one ear so it was really freaking her out. I switched her desk and increased her job satisfaction by ‘about 50%’ (her words). Another staffer asked to switch their schedule slightly earlier on WFH days. Another example was helping somebody change their email name display from their formal name to the nickname they regularly use (think Andrew to Drew). Little things, but me prioritizing them helped make the staffers feel heard and set us on a good path forward.
I would caution doing this right out of the gate. Get the lay of the land first. Promising to do something and not delivering is worse than not promising to begin with when you’re trying to build trust. A lot of things that seem like they should be small end up being related/too political/etc. for an easy solution—that’s why they haven’t been addressed yet. Still dig in and fix, but I’d make sure you can cash that check you’re writing first.
I agree here. You also want to avoid office politics with your direct reports. Even if the top people are a-wipes, don’t talk about that with your employees. You are technically part of management, even if you are not making the big bucks like they are.
I also think you need to avoid any kind of favoritism with your people; male or female. When I had 2 direct reports, I had one woman and one man, and I steered clear from both when it came to that, and DEFINITELEY NO romantic connections with them! As it turned out, those two wound up hooking up with each other–(but that had nothing to do with me). I had to counsel them to keep their pants on in the office , even though they didn’t. It is not easy being a manager, b/c you have to do your job too.
+1 to the advice about communication styles
They may ask about your management or leadership style/philosophy – not everyone cares about that stuff but be prepared with a good answer.
we have an 1894 house with one very small closet in the smallest bedroom. we have bought Ikea closets for other bedrooms. some of them were fine but the last ones from 2019 have sagging drawer issues.
looking to replace and make a dressing room of closets. we would like good construction and glass doors and open to fixing the ikea ones as an option.
Not sure of your budget, but if this were me, I’d hire this out to a company like California Closets or Closet Factory. They have some spectacular ideas on their websites for building out a dressing room.
thank you. any experience with either company?
I am not BeenThatGuy, but I used Closet Factory and and very happy with their work, the designer, the installer, everything. I had considered buying Ikea pieces and having a handyman install and make the parts look custom but this was just so much easier on me.
We built a walk-in closet in our apartment bedroom that I love. We put dressers in there, plus wall-mounted cabinets and 2 hanging rods. My husband used IKEA dressers and their kitchen cabinet (boxes not doors) but added wood trim to make them look more built-in. He also built a wall of IKEA Pax cabinets to hold tools in our office/workshop room. He has reinforced the shelves on some of them to fix sagging (these are holding very heavy tools though). But he’s a structural engineer so this is his wheelhouse.
If you like the ones you have, you might talk to a handyman about whether it is worth trying to shore them up – you kind of have to know something about construction to understand why they are failing. IIRC the Pax cabinets have very flimsy backs, but stronger sides, and the shelves themselves are also somewhat flimsy. He added braces under the shelves on the sagging sides and reinforced the shelves themselves with another layer of MDF. He may have also added a cross piece across the front of the shelf to make it stronger.
thanks. agree the backs are terrible but easy enough to replace.
the issues are with the drawer bottoms which are cardboard and pop out with any weight (bras and underwear aren’t that heavy!). did he have a solution for those? we reinforce the glass shelves with metal c channel and we don’t use the mdf shelving.
We don’t have any drawers in the PAX units, just shelves. But that sounds terrible! Our walk-in closet used Nordli dressers I think, which have been fine.
Find an antique/vintage wardrobe, there are lots out there and they are made of solid wood so no sagging.
Honestly? I’d put the ikea stuff where it belongs, and either find some vintage/antique solid wood wardrobes or have some custom hardwood pieces made to fit the rooms exactly.
that’s what I’m trying to do : )
antique wardrobes are small but looking for a standard platform to build from that we can customize. hence the post.
They are small, but people had fewer clothes back then, so it makes sense. They are well made and beautifully finished, though.
Is there a custom cabinetry place near you that you can start with?
Contact IKEA for sure! I’ve had issues a couple of times, and they were fixed promptly and with zero questions. Unless you know for sure that it’s a user error, 2019 IKEA should last at least ten years.
thanks. it is pp and will give contacting them a try. we are very handy a needed for almost 130 year old house and it’s not user error. it’s literally pressed cardboard on the most weight bearing spots….
Does anyone here like microfiber sheets? The seem to hold no warmth in the cold and yet are plasticky in the summer (but maybe don’t seem to get sweaty like cotton). I feel like this is something to toss or donate and just replace with cotton or flannel but if they are good for something pls let me know.
Would animal shelters want them?
In my city, no. They need more waterproof blankets and other things, not sheets or towels.
Must be different based on city but in my city (Boston) – yes the animal shelter needs sheets and towels!
Drop cloths for dusty work or painting. I hate them. Percale for the win.
In addition to the drop cloths idea, you can use them at the park, playground or beach for the kids to sit on in a pinch. Otherwise I’d just toss them.
Get sheets you like. I can personally only handle 800 thread count Pima cotton but everyone is unique.
My cat loves to dig around in the bed and I find that microfiber is most resistant to her murder mittens, so that’s why I use microfiber. The cheap ones from Target are actually quite soft and cool. But if you don’t have a semi-domesticated carnivore sharing your bed, get whatever sheets feel best to you!
Murder mittens <3
I’d just cut them up into rags for when you have a nasty job where you want to toss them anyways.
+1 They feel plasticy because they are made of plastic. Great for countertops, washing windows, washing the loo, but not for sleeping.
Help me daydream about not going back to a somewhat intense job after spending a week solo with my toddler and my (helpful, but still not as easy as home) parents. There were a bunch of anons saying they only had 4-6 hours a day of work. What industry are you in, and how flexible is it to daycare pickups and doctor appointments?
This isn’t really what you asked, but do you have any options for self-employment? For so long, I never considered it, and it certainly has its downside. But the freedom is AMAZING.
I’m self employed. It’s good sometimes, horrible other times. But you need to have built up A LOT of contacts in your field, and maintain those connections, which is serious work. If you’re relatively early career, it’s probably not the time.
I had the impression that Curious is not early in her career (nor am I). It’s obviously very unwise to do it without a clear path to getting into the black, including good contacts.
Depends on what you mean by early, I guess. I mean, I’m doing it. I’m there. Several friends tried to do this mid career – first level supervisors, little kids (which I know applies to Curious) and just did not have the network. It ended up being a SAHM gig with a small amount of pin money, if they made money at all. Every one of them ended up back in the corporate world, a few years behind other people at the same stage in life.
I’m latter half of 50s now and the luxury of it is grown kids allllmost off the payroll, if it didn’t work out for me, I could just retire early. I’d have less to retire on than hoped for, but I’d survive. But it’s going pretty well. I’m not 5 days a week every week – some weeks I’m 2, some weeks I’m 7 – but it’s steady enough over the long term.
Anyway, don’t burn bridges and keep your contacts close!
I also think self-employment with kids under the age of about 12 or so is a likely path to SAHM with maybe a little bit of spending money. Which isn’t a bad option for some people, but is very different than a corporate career.
I’m just under 15 years in, so I do have contacts, but I think our healthcare requirements may lend themselves to corporate life for a little while longer. That said, Monday, I now want to pick your brain.
I’m 39 with 3 kids and have been self employed for the past 6 years. Contacts are critical. I left my corporate job with a. Strong network of people and they were all happy to hire me. My old job brought me in as a consultant as soon as it was legally okay to do so.
Mi work 5-30 hours/week and make $100-$120k/year. Previously I’d been making about $200k working long hard hours (60+/week and lots of travel). I’m in sales/marketing in tech.
And I am just a first level manager, so I think it’s likely my contacts aren’t strong enough / senior enough yet.
I’m one of the people who is full time on paper but works much less than 40 hours per week. I’m higher ed staff. I have complete freedom for things like doctors appointments, and I mostly arrange my schedule to work 10-3 so I could do early daycare pickups or be home after school with elementary age children. I have tons of vacation time (6 weeks) separate from sick leave and we travel a lot.
But there are a lot of downsides to this industry, including terrible pay, boring work and “lifers” who’ve been here for decades and are extremely rigid about doing things the way it was done 30 years ago. I guess the grass is always greener, but personally I think I would be happier with a more intellectually challenging and higher paying job that required longer hours. I’m just stuck in a very small town because of my husband’s job and there isn’t much fully remote work available for my job type.
I think not wanting to go back to work after a great vacation is normal and doesn’t mean you hate your job and need a new career.
Oh, I’ll be going back to my job, and if I’m lucky, I’ll still have it in three months. But I do plan to eventually move on, and it’s nice to daydream. Thank you :)
This tracks 100% with my experience in higher ed staff. Another benefit is free/discounted classes at the institution. I’ve taken advantage of the flexibility to gain some new skills.
I am very skeptical that many people can get away with working half-time for a full-time salary. Even if you don’t have to account for all your time, don’t people notice if you aren’t on Teams or don’t respond instantly to e-mail or don’t take meetings at certain times of day?
Anon at 11:03
I think it’s very job-dependent, but it definitely works for me. There’s no expectation in my workplace of being available on Teams all day. I do monitor email outside of my core work hours, but it’s very rare that I get something I need to respond to immediately. I don’t have many meetings, and I generally have some say in when they’re scheduled. On the rare occasions I get a request to meet before 10 or after 3 I don’t decline it, but it doesn’t necessarily mean I work longer hours. I may just shift my hours to start later if I have a 4 pm meeting or take a break in the middle of the day if I have a 9 am meeting and a 3:30 pm meeting.
Fwiw, the reason I started doing this is because I was killing myself in spring and summer 2020 when I was working as hard I could juggling my job with being a caregiver for a preschooler and toddler because daycare was closed. After many years of absolutely glowing reviews, I got slammed in my review that year for lack of productivity and effort. It felt like a slap in the face when I was with my kids from noon to 8 pm and then working from 8 pm to 3 or 4 am, and it destroyed any remaining goodwill I had towards my job and bosses. When daycare reopened and I had 40 hours without the kids, I carved out more time for myself instead of giving it back to my job. With childcare and sleep, I’m much more efficient and do a lot more now with 4-5 hours than I did with 7 or 8 during the height of the pandemic. My last review was the best I’ve had since before the pandemic and I was rated more than satisfactory, so I don’t think I’m in any danger of getting fired.
I am in a position with terrible management and I just don’t have all that much to do. I like being busy and it’s actually been bad for my mental health to be skating in this position, but I’m also in grad school so I’ll take the easier job while I have it (my last job was a lot of 60-80 hour weeks with the expectation of being always available, despite paying 55k).
I am in the office Tues, Weds, Thurs and I try to work full 8 hour days there (but often feel like I have to find ways to make myself look busy). On Mondays and Fridays I’m always near my computer and keep myself green on teams, can respond to emails/calls instantly, and do whatever gets thrown my way on those days. I also have a standing report every Monday, so I take care of that, which makes me feel like I did something. I probably work 2-4 hours a day on M/F and then spend my time doing stuff around my apartment or doing school work.
I left my old job because I was so burnt out, and I was purposely looking for a step back. However, this job is too much of a step back and I don’t enjoy it. I’d be so happy with a middle ground, 35-40 hours of solid work a week and no more job but I haven’t had that since 2017!
In my last job, I worked very autonomously, there wasn’t much of a chat/ping culture, and most work was asynchronous, so it was very rare that my not being able to respond immediately was a problem. I didn’t necessarily drop down to half time, but I didn’t blink at taking a midday exercise class, occasionally scheduling a long lunch with friends, etc. I also just had a lower workload with no real additional ways to fill the time & a very good reputation/reviews. So, these jobs definitely are out there, but a lot of it comes from company culture & not just the individual job.
My job is sort of like this. My core work has deadlines but as long as I meet those, I can do my work whenever I want to. I do have quite a few meetings but they are usually late morning/early afternoon which are my prime working hours anyway. The trickier part is that I’m in management and have people on my team across US time zones, so I do have to be available for emails etc. But I keep notifications on my phone during the work day so I don’t feel chained to my laptop and can take a TV break, run errands, go to appointments whatever and still be available to my team without being stuck at my desk. I’ll plan work time, where I’m at my desk working on something specific, and then available time where I do whatever I want and leave my notifications on. I don’t say this to people obviously, it’s only in my head, but it works for me!
I worked for a “super community” bank, fully remote with on site meetings every couple of weeks and made well over $125k while working about 20 real hours per week with very low expectations for output. There are pros and cons to a job like this. :)
Any recs for eyebrow pensions that work well on thinning brows that would be try-able at Sephora? Current product is too heavy and I need something that can better look like replacement hairs versus something that you paint on a with a brush (that may also be too dark anyway). One brow has a bare spot so i just want to catch it up to the other. It is noticeable because brows are a medium brown but I am pretty pale.
This isn’t exactly what you asked but I get my eyebrows tinted at the same place I get them waxed. I find that the tint works better at picking up all the “invisible” hairs and makes my brows look better and then I don’t need to use as much brow pencil. For pencil I use the elf micro pencil…I like it! It’s also like $5 or less and readily available at Target
Anastasia Brow definer
FWIW RevitaLash and RevitaBrow have worked well for growth for me.
For short term agree with Anastasia products.
My eyebrows have worked hard for years and are ready for their pension
Your eyebrows need to have a 401k of their own – most pensions are dangerously underfunded.
So true. The 90s were hell on mine.
The 90s were a tough decade for brows.
Message to younger ‘rettes – no matter what the style is, do not wax your brows into a thin shape because they will never grow back after you do that for a couple of years. Mine never recovered from being over-waxed in the 90s and now in perimenopause, they’re just getting thinner. Tweeze to clean up edges, wax between your brows if needed, but do not wax them into thin little stripes!
Maybe the eyebrows need a government bailout too.
Thank you for this one
mine too. they’ve never had a rollover either.
Just an aside… a little dab daily of minoxidil on my brows helped thicken them.
I have an Hourglass pencil that’s very thin that I like, and that comes in ashy blonde, which is the most subtle color, and I can also use Benefit color 1. The thing to get is the pencils that have angles and looks like mini artist’s chalks. Anything round like an actual pencil will make to big swirls. Anything like a tint or brow mascara will highlight sparse brows. (If I do brow mascara, it looks like a couple of spiders died on my face.) And subtly fill in with a powder below feathery strokes of the chalks.
Planning a weekend getaway with a girlfriend in Chicago over MLK weekend. Any recs on where to stay?
Trump hotel was awesome when we stayed there! They have a spa with a pool, a nice restaurant for morning breakfast with an outdoor patio (may be too cold to take advantage of) and seemed to be in a good spot for getting to other places.
Oh man hard disagree, I stayed there for work a decade ago (before all the politics) and hated it. Barn door bathroom (no real privacy) and everything felt way too overdone, from the plush mattress topper (suffocating) to cheap gold veneer everywhere.
Great location but otherwise umm no.
I stayed there in 2011-ish and agree with you. So tacky!
lol I’ve had a bad day and this made me laugh, thank you
Robey in wicker park is fun
I stayed at the Kimpton Gray Hotel a few years ago and was really pleased with it.
I liked the Sutton Place.
Chicagoan here. This list looks good https://www.cntraveler.com/gallery/readers-choice-awards-chicago-hotels
And politics aside, the Trump Hotel has a reputation as tacky and overpriced.
The Chicago Athletic Association has several cool bars and restaurants onsite, and is across from the Art Institute, Millenium Park, etc. It’s south of the river, but not a far on Michigan Avenue for shopping. If you’re looking for something in the 800-900 block area (ie close to other shopping), I’ve heard very good things about The Peninsula, and locals like it for a downtown getaway. If you want to get away from Michigan Avenue, I second the recommendation below for The Robey…that will get you away from downtown but still with plenty of Wicker Park/Bucktown stuff to do.
ive stayed at the Pendry, Hotel Julian, and Cambria on Mag Mile andall good … Cambria was great for shopping.
What is your budget and what things are you trying to do? You’re still at risk of winter storms then, so I personally would rather stay close to what I want to do to minimize risk that I chicken out of doing it due to icky weather.
I have a silk t-shirt that has darkened around the neckline and upper chest where the fabric sits on my bare skin. I assume it is the natural oils in my skin and/or body lotion having been absorbed by the fibers. Any suggestion on how to remove? Should I try to wash in got water with Dawn?
No to hot water (just use room temperature water), yes to Dawn.
Office organizers and Decor Help!
I recently moved to a new job and now have my own office! I’m used to having a lot of closed storage in a cube and now I have a lot of shelf space and not much closed storage.
I’m looking for ways to 1) organize my things on shelves rather than in drawers 2) inject some personality and color into my space and 3) maintain a relatively tidy workspace.
The office walls are white, desk is dark wood, with greige accents. I’m thinking about accessories in either white, some sort of natural rattan texture, or going the complete opposite direction and doing bright patterns and bright solid colors but worry that may be too juvenile. This stark plain space is killing me though!
Can you check out other offices to get a sense of the vibe before choosing your own?
What are you storing? Files? Binders? Personal stuff like snacks, makeup, toiletries? For the latter, closed boxes might be nice. Think like photo storage boxes from olden days ;)
Office Decor OP
The vibe is anywhere from people having a ton of clutter on their desks to having almost nothing on their desks. It seems like people have varying degrees of personality in their offices, so not all that helpful…it feels like I can do whatever I want. I just want my office to feel cozy and more “me” and less like a temporary space I’m borrowing.
My apartment has floor to ceiling built ins in the living room. I have some shelves that are styled and look nice (I hope) and some need to be more utilitarian storage because I only have 1 small closet in the apartment, so I’m really into nice looking storage bins.
I personally prefer some rattan or other natural woven baskets (I’ve had great luck getting these for pretty cheap at Home Goods, Ikea, and Target). I think the ubiquitous fabric cubes are probably the most utilitarian but aren’t as attractive. I also think they’re not as helpful for storage because they’re so deep, it’s hard to effectively store things in there and keep them organized. I also think they tend to look juvenile because they’re so common for kids toy storage.
Not cute, but I have several clear plastic bins with lids (originally bought as food storage to combat a mouse problem 2 apartments ago) that are great storage. They stack on each other and having the lids is nice! but, they’re clear plastic so you can see what’s in them (both a blessing and a curse). Purchased those from Amazon and the Container Store.
I’d do mostly rattan or similar storage bins with some plants (fake or real!) to spruce it up and some pictures or decorative items.
Cozy lights! I keep my overhead office lights on dim and use two table lamps and a floor lamp for a much cozier vibe that feels less cold and corporate while still providing the light my eyes need. I also have some fairy lights on my office ficus. Out of everything you can do to decorate an office, I really think the lighting makes the most difference!
I brought in a few items from home I was no longer using – a couple of framed prints, an oil diffuser, a few knickknacks. Added a cheap fake plant (no windows) to my shelf and a cheap throw pillow to my guest chair. I’ve had comments from work friends that my office feels very calming, which is exactly what I was going for.
I think to keep your office decor professional, it helps to stick to a simple color palette (I went with mainly muted neutrals) and keep the decor minimal. For example, in my case my framed prints are sort of the main focal point and everything else coordinates with them (simple desk accessories in a similar muted color for example). Rattan accents sound like a great idea in your space! Maybe some baskets for enclosed storage on your shelves?
Congrats on having an office, and have fun decorating!
For the self-employed – what is your email provider and how much do you pay for security? I was hacked and now am looking at spending money to upgrade. TIA!
I use google suites though square space because I built my website there. I also moved hosting there because it was just easier.
Day to day I access email through Microsoft Office/Outlook and I pay for firewall/virus protection through Norton. I don’t remember how much but neither are significant to my business. It’s worth it!
You didn’t ask, but I also have a giant external hard drive and do an automated daily backup through the operating system.
2023 is my year of the budget! I’m thinking about Big Law and need to pay closer attention to in/out flows. Is YNAB still the hive favorite? Some other tracking software?
I like Mint in terms of a first step for passively tracking where your money is going.
This will be the year of the budget for me, as well, and I am going back to using Mint. It just works.
DC Inhouse Counsel
I love YNAB, so easy to use and flexible to each user’s lifestyle. There’s a good reason why so many people recommend it.
I really couldn’t figure out YNAB!
+2 I hated it. I use a regular ole Excel spreadsheet.
Hated it too.
Pen and paper works just fine for me.
What do you mean by “thinking about Big Law”? Going to law school? Graduating from law school soon?
Leaving* Big Law (for a lower paying gig).
I took it to mean that she was thinking about getting out of biglaw.
Guessing the missing word is “leaving”
FWIW when I made the jump, some things were natural to jettison. I didn’t need as much takeout, dry cleaning, or expensive office wear to look appropriate. Bigger budget items. Like house and car, were decided upon while in big law BUT planning for the pay cut.
To me, the difference between Mint and YNAB is that Mint is more backward focused, and YNAB is more forward thinking. Mint will help you see where your money went, whereas YNAB will help you think about what you are going to do with the money you have. I loved Mint for a lot of years, but at this point in my life I think YNAB is a lot better for me. YNAB does have a learning curve. If you are interested in it, I really think you have to do their 30 day trial and really give it a month to see if it works for you.
Before Leaving BigLaw
You might consider opening a HELOC (if you own your home and don’t already have one) to feel more secure about having access to cash in an emergency (health etc) before leaving BigLaw.
I love YNAB. I used it consistently from 2007 (when it was a spreadsheet!) to 2021. I took 2022 mostly off from it, and yet the habits it had instilled in me carried through. Strong recommend. You really do need to read the documentation, though.
One note…they no longer recommend that you live on last month’s income, but I will! They used to call this your buffer. I have a category called “Next Month’s Budget” that I direct my paychecks into. I then move that to the to be budgeted category at the start of each month, and budget that amount. *Why* they replaced that advice with the stupid age of money metric I will never know, but anyway, yeah, aim to live on last month’s income (especially since you’re clearly in an income bracket where that is more than beyond possible).
ETA: YNAB saw me through paying off $250k in student loan debt in 3 years (also big law), leaving big law for a lower paying gig, buying a house, selling a house, etc. etc. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions! It really is the best but does have a learning curve. (They have videos now–it used to be a PDF handout and classes you had to attend, haha).
2023 is the year I reclaim time for me in the mornings — what are your best tips for getting up early? Currently up at 7:20 on weekdays, would like to be up at 5:30.
Get a cat. I haven’t slept past 5:30 even once in the decade since I got mine! And that’s if I’m lucky. These days she seems to think that 4:30 is time to start scratching at the door. Otherwise, my best advice is just to go to bed early.
Or a newborn!
Seconding this. Mine is now trained for 3:30, which suits me fine!
Ha, my kitty just comes and lays right on top of me and makes it so much harder to get up in the morning.
Try a newborn – they are super reliable!
Lol mine slept (and still sleeps) til 7 or 8. Family of high sleep needs.
High sleep needs family here too, Curious. Although I will say that from the age of about 6 weeks to maybe 8 or 9 months my kid would wake up at 6 am or so to eat, and then go right back to sleep for a couple more hours. She was almost as hungry as she was sleepy, lol. On maternity leave I usually went back to sleep myself, but once I had returned to the office I would head in super early so I could leave early. It was a weird but kind of nice few months of being a morning person. Once she had more solid foods added to her diet, she started doing 12+ hours at night and she hasn’t woken up before 8 am very often since then (now in elementary school).
My son is in college now and home for winter break, and I rarely see him because he sleeps all day.
But I remember when he was preschool/early elementary school age, I got him a digital clock and told him that if we woke up and the first number wasn’t 7 or 8, he had to stay in bed. It worked, but he wasn’t happy about it. Haha
Hard to believe it’s the same kid :)
my newborn sleeps until 7:30, but shes up every 1.5-3 hours all night. Last night she was asleep around 9 and woke at 10:30, 1:00, 3:00, 5:00 and 7:00, with a restless catnap from 7-7:30. each wake is fairly easy to deal with, but its so many. And this is despite eating a full 6 ounces at 8pm before bed. She’s just always hungry seems like. she also rarely naps more than 30 minutes at a time.
I recently got a programmable coffee maker and so knowing the coffee is already brewed when I get up helps me get out of bed. I drink my coffee and read a fun book or do a puzzle for a few minutes in front of my SAD lamp before I get moving, which is a routine I enjoy.
I also try to get a lot of the “have to do’s” done before I start work that way I can enjoy my evenings! For me, this is a workout, maybe a quick chore around the condo, and some homework time for grad school. Pre-grad school I would have some “me time” when I would read or paint before my workout, but now it’s HW time. This way, when I finish work at 5 my evening is free for socializing or hobbies or crashing on the couch.
I meet a friend at our gym and take a workout class on Tuesday and Thursday mornings at 7:15, which helps me get up and moving. I used to take this class solo and had a less than stellar attendance record, but now knowing my friend (who is a former college teammate!) is going too really helps me get my butt out of bed.
For me, the motivation to keep my evenings clear is really helpful because I love what I do in the evenings. Mondays I have class right after work and then I meet up to watch the bachelor franchise with a few friends, Tuesdays is when I have my art class, Wednesdays I play in a soccer league and then go to bar trivia, Thursdays I meet a friend for a walk and happy hour. If I have to do HW or workout or do laundry after work, then that means I can’t do the fun things I want to do!
Also: going to bed early. Most week nights I try to be in bed by 10 (a little later on Monday and Wednesday because those activities are later). I self-destruct when I don’t get enough sleep. You can’t rob Peter to pay Paul when it comes to sleep!!
Ok but you know this means you have to go to bed at 9:30, right? How disciplined are you about bedtime?
This. This is the most important thing if you truly want to get up early.
Yes this. I get up at 5:30 / 6:00 because I force myself to be in bed at 10:00. Not thinking about bed at 10. Not brushing my teeth at 10. Eyes closed falling asleep! :) Have a great new year!
This is me too, 845 is a once in a while and not all that realistic of a bedtime. If I’m asleep by 10/1030, then I’m up by 5/530 every day. It takes practice. I’d also start moving your awake time earlier by 15 minutes until you get to what you want.
Yeah I’m not sure what you want to do with the early morning hours, and I know this depends on the person, but sleep does a lot more for my mental health than exercise or alone time. And definitely don’t get up extra early to work!
+1 million. You have to go to bed early.
I’m horrible about bedtime but I’ve realized that I am doing NOTHING with my life except doomscroll and play dumb games because that is all I have energy for at the end of the day – if I want to clean, or write, or meditate, or exercise, or whatever, I really need to get up earlier. Or get more energy, but I think exercising and losing weight would be a good thing for energy. Chicken and egg kind of thing.
I was going to say this. Getting up at 5 requires going to bed very early.
I’m up at 5am every day.
My best tips: 1) Go to bed early. I am in bed no later than 8:45pm. As a follow up to this, establish a consistent evening and bedtime routine that gets you to bed at the same time every night. Getting enough sleep is essential for getting up early.
2) Get up as soon as your alarm goes off, do not hit snooze even once. This is as important as getting enough sleep. I also tend to get up if I wake up naturally between 15 to 30 minutes before my alarm will go off.
3) Set out everything you need for the morning the night before. The outfit you will wear, everything you will need for your breakfast and morning beverage, make your lunch if you bring that, everything you will be taking to work with you, etc. The less you have to actively decide in the morning, the easier it will be.
4) Limit, or avoid entirely, caffeine in the afternoon.
5) Give yourself time to adjust to your new sleep schedule.
Sunlight alarm clock, don’t sleep with your phone in your room, physically get up and out of bed as soon as your alarm goes off without giving yourself any time to think about how much nicer it would be to stay in your warm, cozy, bed.
anon a mouse
Go to bed earlier. It’s so hard but is key.
Drink a lot of water before bed, like 24 oz. When you get up to go to the bathroom at 5 am, stay up.
Put your clothing in the bathroom or somewhere easy to remind yourself to get dressed and get moving rather than go back to bed.
I have a standing phone date with my BFF three times a week at 6 am, which has been incentive enough for me to get up. We both have busy families and are in different cities, and it’s literally the only time we can talk regularly. We each go walking in our neighborhoods and chat and it’s such a great way to start the day. The other 2 days I work out at home.
I never wake up to use the bathroom, even if I drink a lot of water before bed. I have a hard time falling asleep but once I’m asleep I sleep like I’m dead.
Why in the world would you drink 24oz of water before bed?
Your bladder will be bursting overnight. To sleep through / holding in all that water all night is not great for your bladder/kidneys. My sleep would probably be disrupted twice having to get up and pee if I drank that.
early to rise
My observations (as someone who gets up at 5 every morning except Sunday to exercise first thing):
* put your exercise clothes on the floor by your bed the night before.
* if you wear a watch to exercise, wear it to sleep (point is to streamline what you have to do when you get out of bed).
* if you get up and get moving first thing, after a few days, you will be sleepy very early in the evening (we are brushing teeth etc by 8 and asleep by 9).
* do not keep your phone where you can reach it from the bed (and if you wake up in the middle of the night, try breathing very slowly 10 times to put yourself back to sleep instead of grabbing the phone to scroll).
For the umpteenth year in a row, my new years resolution is to let go of the abundance of B-/C+ clothes in my wardrobe and replace them with a fewer number A+ clothes. My work seems to have finally settled into a 3 days/week in office schedule. How many work pants, work tops, third pieces, dresses do you think I should have?
No advice on numbers but I would love to hear people’s thoughts and advice on how to pare down a closet this way. I have an overflowing closet of B to C+ clothes and have found it distressing to see how mediocre I look in pictures as a result. I’ve tried before to pare down my closet and it just doesn’t stick (complicated by the fact that I’m still several pounds heavier than before kids and most of my truly nice work clothes were pre kids and fit weirdly now…but I have hope of getting back to that figure).
I think you pare down to committing to one or two neutrals. I have navy and charcoal trousers. For three days a week in the office I’d probably only need one or two of each.
I have way more tops but that tends to be where I wear color. Blouses don’t take up a lot of room in the closet so they are my indulgence.
I don’t need more than 2-3 work dresses.
Third pieces – one to go with each pair of pants, one to wear with dresses, and a fun one or two.
Read the Vivienne files. This is what she’s all about. The 5×5 wardrobe and so forth.
I should add, in cold weather, my blouses tend to be cashmere or merino sweaters – stock up now in your favorite colors that go with your neutrals
I note that it’s a 4×4 wardrobe. Not a 5×5 wardrobe. My bad.
This is not exactly what you asked, but I’ve been working towards having an ‘A+’ wardrobe, and I’m still not quite there, mainly because it hinges on availability of ideal basics that are versatile, but not always available (in terms of size, colour, or fabrication when needed). This takes lots of mental space for me, and feels as though I am constantly on the lookout for the perfect long lasting good quality piece. Having less things that are A+ will work for a while but in my experience, they will wear out more quickly, even if the quality is deemed better— and then it takes up lots of mental space to replace a specific item — for me, I end up with placeholders that are B items yet again!
I was thrust into donating a huge portion of my B-/A+ wardrobe after unexpectedly loosing weight a couple years ago. I had previously had a range of beautifully (in my opinion:) coordinated bottoms, (mostly skirts for me) and lots of fun tops and dresses. I had acquired and collected these over ten+ years, and everything worked like a well oiled machine. Because I had more things, they lasted longer, and I made sure to wear and rotate pieces often. I was proud that I would make a point to wear everything in my closet as much as possible, and I had a medium sized wardrobe.
I donated my clothes in three stages, each time trying on all my clothes, and seeing how they looked. It was really hard to let go, and my husband rightly convinced me that stuff was worn, and looked even sadder as it hung on me in a unflattering way.
Now, I have much less items, and I’m slowly rebuilding and replacing, but I notice that because I have less, things are starting to look worn and have to be replaced.— by worn, I mean beyond basic repair, which I know how to do myself, when needed. All this ‘novel’ is to say that though the pursuit of the A+ Wardrobe is possible, it takes work and mental bandwidth to maintain.
To answer your question more specifically, I think two pants and a dress or skirt, can be rotated with more tops. It may also depend on how often you want to repeat an outfit or part of an outfit. I wear a long sleeve or short sleeve top under sweaters, so I re wear them twice a week to work, and on one weekend day before washing. For spring and summer, I can only really wear the top once. Bottoms can be repeated more often, but it really depends on your tolerance for repeating outfits and washing. I’m pretty active, so I wash my items more often, which is why they likely wear out faster.
This. For the past 10 plus years, I have gained and lost weight up to two sizes. I have a number of size 12 suits in my spare closet but they are already out of style.
I agree! Things change and while I’m currently wearing the same outfits on repeat, the weather (west coast here, where we had freezing rain, deep snow, to warm rainy days here) changes and I have to have all weather options. With weight fluctuations, I keep a few things in good shape.
is suggest you keep the things you like and either fit or will if you’re losing weight. things you love and feel good in are A plus.
then try some outfits out of that and see where it works abs where you have gaps.
fwiw most women need a few quality camisoles….
I’m sure the responder has this down ok, but I think this approach can be kind of risky. If I wore a top three days before washing I would stink. I think most people would honestly. I also think it’s one thing to pare down a wardrobe but quite another to be wearing the same two pants all the time. You need to make sure you don’t smell or look like you’re not maintaining yourself. How often will you launder things?
I should have added to say that the only tops I wear two or three times are my merino wool ones, and I air them out over several days before re wearing. Blouses and t shirts or tops are usually only worn once. I wear skirts maybe twice, but not consecutively. I don’t wear pants that often, but when I do, I only re wear twice, and usually I change when I come home from work, go on a walk, and wear them for an hour or two. I change into house clothes/ lounge wear at home. I hope this clarifies the laundry washing issue!
You wrote out what I was thinking. I couldn’t do what worried does – I really do have to wash my merino after every use. But I’m a stinky girl, and I know lots of people who can air out and reuse.
For me, it’s about how close to the body. If it’s a second layer, and it it’s oversized cashmere, I can air it out. I can go YEARS, even as a stinky girl, with oversized. But if it’s a layer in body contact, or fairly close or fitted, I wash after every single use. For blazers sweat shield pads do work, but without it’s one wear and then the dry cleaner.
For the wardrobe advice – yes! to what worried wrote. It’s so possible, and it takes a serious mental investment.
Yes, the oversized pieces allow a bit more wear between washing. The tighter items, as well as layering pieces have to be washed every time. Even outerwear such as my puffer coat has to be washed more often when I’m active— which is why I have two puffers!
In your situation if I want trying to be mathematical about it, I’d go with 3-4 pairs of work pants and 10-15 work shirts. That way you don’t have to repeat tops more than once a month in office, which I think is a good baseline based on nothing other than, people probably won’t remember what you were wearing a month ago.
I think this is hard because your idea of A+ is going to change pretty fast as styles change, things get worn/stained, and weight fluctuations mean things don’t fit right any more. If i were you, I would try to put together 5-6 outfits you feel great about for the current season, which could involve some mixing and matching (e.g. you might only need 3-4 bottoms), and then see how you feel. But I wear the same handful of outfits to work every week and could not tell you how often my coworkers repeat their clothes.
Sorry didn’t mean to nest my response.
Three pairs black pants
One black skirt
3 pairs tights if you wear them
6-8 tops or sweaters for each season
3 blazers, including a black one that matches the pants and skirt
Repeat outfits. Dry clean every week if needed. Even if dry cleaning is late a day you will always have 3-4 bottoms (including dresses) clean.
Could you get by with less? Yes. But if you have a large wardrobe going to 2 pairs of pants, 1 dress, 6 tops total would be a huge and likely long term unsustainable change.
2023 is going to be the year of The Frolic! I ended a long-term relationship recently and am now working through all the hard stuff. I lost too much of myself in that relationship. I used to be someone who is light and free and happy. And will be again!
Hooray!! I’m rooting for you, Explore*t*t*e!
I had a great time reclaiming myself after a relationship. Enjoy!
One thing that was hard for me was not having anyone that knew what I was doing (in case of an emergency). Friends of mine were awesome about being the person who knew I was on a long bike ride or driving to another city or whatever.
The best way to get over it is to get under it. Or at least that’s what worked for me. Enjoy!
I love the description – a frolic! Go, you!
frolic is a great word!!
2022 has been my frolic year and it has been really fun. I’d encourage it, including the advice to “get under it ” to get over it, but also explore all the versions of frolicking. Say “yes” a lot.
Why oh why did I think it was a good idea to come back to work for one day after being on vacation since 12/21???
Hope your travel home went smoothly, SA!
Oh my goodness, I wouldn’t say “smoothly” is the right descriptor! We took the train home and although it boarded right on time, we sat in the station for EIGHT HOURS while they cleared downed electrical lines from the tracks. So we arrived in Los Angeles at 6:30 a.m. yesterday rather than 9 p.m. the night before. Good thing our motto is “the worst travel disaster make the best stories!”
What a nightmare!
The most important thing is we had a great family Christmas and everybody left one another wanting more, so I’m calling it a win!
I’m so glad to hear that after all the hiccups and delays.
I’m wondering if anyone has encountered something that has recently occurred with my DH. On our last two flights (several weeks apart), once we hit cruising altitude he was hit with a horrible headache that lasted about an hour. He was in horrible pain, and is now nervous about flying. He gets migraines, but those are now mostly controlled with medication and supplements, and this had a very different feel than his migraines. His doctor has no explanation, and even did a CT scan. Has anyone encountered something similar and, if so, do you have any helpful suggestions? Thank you and happy new year everyone!
Does it have to do with pressure?
I was thinking maybe an ear infection or something that is worsened with the pressure.
My SIL once had something similar, I believe the pain started for her when landing. Turns out she had an ear infection.
Where was the headache? Could it be sinus related? Perhaps he could take sudafed (the real stuff, the give the pharmacist your drivers licence stuff) before flying next time and see if it helps. I’d also be tempted to take some Aleve beforehand.
I have had a horrific headache on a flight before – a full blown migraine that lasted the entirety of a cross country flight. All my sympathy.
Is it in the front of the head, near the eyes? A nasal decongestant like Sudafed or Allegra-D might help. It’s a known thing that pressure changes on airplanes can cause sinus pain, particularly if your sinuses are at all inflamed to start (there can be lots of causes of underlying inflammation, including allergies and common viruses like colds). For me (and I think most people) it happens primarily during descent, but I think it’s worth trying to see if it helps. The pain can be really excruciating – my mom has the same issue and said it was worse than childbirth and she birthed in the pre-epidural days. The first time it happened to me I was seriously worried my eyeball was going to pop out of my head – that’s how much pressure I felt.
Pressure changes are a known m*graine trigger and I definitely find flying to be a big trigger for me, though not in exactly the way you describe. I also have always had a lot of trouble with my ears and always take sudafed before flying, but often end up in excruciating pain when landing anyway, and sometimes also when taking off. Was he at all congested? I think it was worth seeing the doctor to rule out something more serious given the change in symptoms, but otherwise there’s no way to know whether it will keep happening other than to try it and see. If he has m*graines, it probably is just a new variation on those and he could try additional treatments before flying.
I got something that sounds similar two or three times in a multi-month stretch several years ago. For me, the best way to describe it was shooting distinct pain across my forehead that felt like I was repeatedly being stung by a bee. It was awful, to the point that I would cry in pain in flight. Ice was minorly helpful. It was tied to a general altitude too- long haul flights were fine, but the 2-4 hour flights stayed lower and were brutal. The best explanation I got at the time was that I likely had some pre-existing sinus pressure that was exacerbated at the specific altitude. I wasn’t sick around the time in any way that was notable and no sinus infections. After several months it stopped, and hasn’t happened since.
I have m***raines too, and flying does make them worse. Last time I flew internationally in 2018 I had a mild ear pain / pressure that triggered a bad m ** graine experience. I try to eat crackers on take off and landing, or chew gum, but it doesn’t always help. I take Advil before flying now and try my best to prevent and manage triggers, but it can challenging. This mostly occurs on shorter flights/ smaller aircraft ( for me it was between European cities). For long haul flights on jumbo jets, it’s not as much of an issue.
This has happened to me several times, although it typically is the worst within 30 minutes to an hour of landing. On one flight I literally started crying from the pain and had myself half-convinced I was having an aneurism. I just met with a travel doctor a few weeks ago before an upcoming big trip, and she asked if I ever had any intense ear pain during travel. I was surprised and said that yes, it has happened to me a few times. Her advice: get a bottle of Afrin (original) and use it 30 minutes before takeoff. The pain is caused by congestion and pressure, and even though the Afrin is inserted nasally everything up in there is connected! I tested it out on a shorter haul flight a few weeks ago and didn’t have any issues. Hoping it works on my longer flight in a couple weeks!
Remind him that the sinuses is not just the bit from nose to ears, but several different canals, and some are quite high on the forehead over the eyes. If they are blocked during a flight, it’s TERRIBLE. If there’s pressure at the start of the flight, it can really build, and it’s beyond I want to sob and sob and sob kind of pain.
Thank you all for sharing your experiences and advice. It’s interesting to me that so many of you have experienced the excruciating pain he has described. I will definitely encourage him to focus on the sinus connection. Happy new year everyone!
Anytime I fly with a cold or bad allergies, it’s like a million tiny needles across my forehead, eyes, and cheeks. For me it’s when landing.
I usually take ibuprofen and if really stuffy, some Sudafed. Longer flights I might take half a Benadryl which is nice and sedating but doesn’t knock me out.
happy new year corporettes!
Happy New Year!
Happy new year!
Happy new year! May we all flourish in good health and in our diverse interests and areas of “overachieving”in 2023.
Where would you go for a multigenerational family trip in August for mom’s 70th birthday? Thinking either an Airbnb or resort on a beach or in beautiful scenery, like near a national park. Would like to stay in the Eastern Time Zone since our kids aren’t good with very long flights/drives. So far been looking at Banff, Acadia, Smoky Mountains, Outer Banks, Myrtle Beach, Florida, and Dominican Republic. It will be three families. Budget is around $700/night.
We just came back from a three generation trip at Beaches Turks and Caicos and it was wonderful. Beautiful beach, gorgeous resort/pools, good food for an all-inclusive, huge waterpark, the resort is 10 minutes from the airport. Overall it was super easy with little kids and very relaxing for parents. We already booked a return for spring break 2024. August is hurricane season though and it’s a gamble to go to any Caribbean island (including the Dominican Republic) that time of year.
Acadia is very nice too and would be a great choice if you want something more active. August is peak season though, with high crowds and prices. If this trip is this year, availability may be limited. It’s also fairly hard to reach – it’s 1.5 hours from the Bangor airport but that airport is hard to fly too. More likely you’d fly to Portland and drive 3+ hours.
Banff is in Mountain time, a 2 hour time change from Eastern, so I think you need to rule that out if your kids don’t handle time changes well.
Banff was going to be my suggestion, even before you listed your possibilities. My parents went there at a similar age and loved it. My parents are not beach/hot sun people, but enjoy natural beauty and National parks. The only place they described with as much enthusiasm was Yosemite.
My husband and I went to Banff in 2021 and loved it, but I’m not sure it would be my choice for a multi-generational trip? What is it the fitness level of your parents and kids? How do they compare? It seems like it could be challenging if you have different people at very different fitness levels. It’s also 2 hours behind eastern time. I think a beach house or resort is easiest when combining multiple families and generations.
Uhhh not the dirty myrtle please. Maybe look at a villa rental on Kiawah?
I was hoping to snag the forest green chateau parka from JCrew post Christmas but my size had been sold out. From what I’ve seen in coats there’s alot more springy/pea greens (not my favorite) and olive greens (which I’m over) than deep forest and emerald greens. I’m still eyeing the green wool coat from Mango and have an alert for when my size comes back in stock.
Some weird anxiety and inertia the last few years has kept me from doing regular hobby group activities or volunteering. I’m trying to get myself out of this rut and add more to my life. Yesterday I signed up for a 5 week life drawing course and a local arts society. I haven’t done any art studio classes since my undergrad and I miss the practice that happens in a studio setting. It starts in two weeks and there’s a $50 fee to cancel the registration so I’ve given my anxiety little room to wiggle out of going.
Hoping this leads to doing more cup filling in 2023.
That’s exciting, the life-drawing course! Good for you.