Previously, on Corporette…

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1. First year associate in an artsy secondary market city (lots and lots of freelancers, independently wealthy kids, people who seem to be able to hang out in coffee shops all day doing Instagram-y things), married to an artist, and starting to become resentful and annoyed at all of the people on my Instagram (mostly SO’s friends) who just “hang out” all day. It doesn’t help that most of my close friends are still in law school and still have student schedules. I really wish I could just go and eat an artsy rainbow bagel or take a trip to NYC or whatever on any given day. Firm is great, but is still biglaw, so while “work-life balance” is top of the market, it’s still biglaw. I know I should be more thankful that my weekends are free and that I see my spouse and get to go the gym and sleep in my bed every night, etc., but I’m just getting worn out. I come from a very humble background, so the amount of money I’m making is incredible (especially to me) and I love the work I do.

   I guess this isn’t so much a question, but mostly me just venting and wanting suggestions. I’ve done social media fasts before, but I’m wondering how to handle these emotions since I’m always going to be surrounded by these “free spirits” in such a “cool” city and like social media for other purposes (family lives all over the place, etc.). How do you handle not feeling envious of others’ free time or how they have random days off during the week? I feel so incredibly conflicted about how much I love my job and wanting to be in joggers in the middle of the day.

   1. If the problem is social media, maybe try disconnecting? Or hiding people who are posting all the time about all of the ‘cool’ things they are doing in the middle of the week? Totally different scenario but sometimes I feel like this about all of my stay-at-home-mom friends. I would never want to be a SAHM and love working, love having financial independence and contributing in that way to my family…. but sometimes I get sad that I can’t take my kiddo to an art class or library storytime or all of the other fun things that happen throughout the week.

      1. That’s exactly how I feel! No littles, but I’m starting to even get annoyed and jealous at SAHMs (and I’m not really sure I want kids ever).

         I think what’s also bothering me is that I’m being negative about my response. Thinking things like, “Well, I went to school and make a lot of money.” “I know they live mostly on credit,” etc. Which is HORRIBLE. I don’t recognize this side of me and I don’t want it to be a thing.

         I’m not opposed to disconnecting, but it’s starting to seep into my real life when I see them or when I run out for coffee for a second during the work day. Doe that make sense? I recognize social media is making this much worse, but worry that it’s becoming a character trait and not a reaction.

         1. I am not going to suggest therapy (although this is a CBT thing), but you’re recognizing that this is an issue which is great.

            I don’t think you should try to suppress your feelings, they are yours and you should feel them. Instead, you should take it a couple of steps further. Once you recognize your feelings (jealousy, whatever it is), try to get to the root of why you are feeling them. In this instance, perhaps it’s because they appear to have no responsibilities and you could be feeling a little bit resentful that you spent all this time and hard work to get where you are and, in turn, you feel like you have to go to this BigLaw job and even though you like it, it’s hard and takes a lot of energy! Sorry for the run-on sentence.

            At any rate, getting to the root of why you feel the way that you do will allow you to remind yourself of it when you experience the feelings. Then, tell yourself that the feeling will pass, and remind yourself of why you are happy with your life as it is. I absolutely would disconnect from social media and then practice the steps above IRL. I think it will get easier to recognize the feelings and let them pass once you do it a bunch of times.

      2. UNSUBSCRIBE for sure.

   2. You probably can’t do those things on any given day, but what’s stopping you on the weekend? Doing that kind of stuff is even more fun when you have money because you can do a lot more. It took me a long time to start spending my money, but now I spend it on things I think are cool and have fun doing.

2. I reread my post from last year about answering e-mails 24/7. Nothing has changed. I am still doeing that and am NOT married. FOOEY ! I need a husband already! Where is that guy? I am looseing my looks and am no closer to getting a guy to take me away from all of this. DOUBEL FOOEY!

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